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Humorous Movie Marquee Mash-Ups

short drabble !! / wrio x reader // no y/n, just used ' you ' // no caps lock n stuff

my first time writing and posting something .. maybe one day, my 37 blade smuts will see the light of the surface.

also um . bc this is my first ever post i would not mind some help on how to format my posts HAHAH aaa (help)

"nooo… wrio… don't do this.."

your sobs echoed in the bathroom, arms wrapped tightly around wriothesley's legs. if anyone were to overhear your cries, they'd probably think the worst.. an argument? physical fight? torture? no, in truth what was going on in the bathroom was much worse ...

"you're being dramatic. it's just a small shave, not that much of a difference." wriothesley sighs, shaving off the last bit of stubble.

he grabs a towel and wipes the bottom half of his face clean before placing it down near the sink, tilting his face to the left and to the right as he inspects his shave. he looks down to you, still sobbing dramatically into his bare legs.

"how do i look?" he asks, flashing you a lady-killer smirk. you look up at him. your cheeks are red and you have to blink a couple of times before you can even see him properly through the tears in your eyes.

..

"like the devil!" you cry.

"what—hey! it's not that bad, i look fine — great, even!" he defends. he leans down and wraps his hands around your arms, picking you up and letting you slump against him.

"it was the best part of you…" you sob, muffled against his shoulder.

"wow. really? not even my killer muscles? my good looks? my amazing personality?" he asks, arms wrapping around your shoulders and pressing a kiss on the top of your head.

"what personality? what good looks?" you say, arms returning his hug as you smile into his neck.

".. you didn't say anything about the muscles, am i safe there?"

"yeah, i dunno how much damage your ego can take."

❝ [ kiss the bride! ] ╰┈➤ of the same thread (kaiju no. 8)

characters: narumi gen x lil sister!reader + hoshina soshiro cw: fluff, crack, hint of sexy times but nothing detailed a/n: silly brainrot time for my otst series >:) can be read as a standalone! <700 wc | mini series masterlist

imagine your and hoshina's wedding ceremony where narumi severely insists that he becomes the marriage officiant for you two. no priest or government official whatsoever. him, your older brother.

and as the time comes when narumi has to give his speech, he'd drone on and on about 'how big of a responsibility it is to be one's equal, how hard it is to juggle both work and personal life, how important it is not let your spouse struggle on their own' and whatnot.

and then he'd end his speech with something along the lines of "any objections towards this... wonderful union?"

lines upon lines of family and friends gathering, not a single person in the beautifully decorated hall says a word. because all of them support you and hoshina. except one, it seems.

narumi proceeds to wait for a response.

there might've been a crow flying by, perhaps.

with your hair perfectly done, face prettily dolled up and body gorgeously draped in your customized wedding dress, you shift uncomfortably on your heeled feet as you realize what the long pause is for.

gods, you're this close to strangling the loving heck out of your brother.

your husband-to-be sighs with a deprecating smile on his face, clad in his suit and looking as charming as ever (you had almost lunged to grab at his neatly straightened tie when you first stepped into the hall, to run your hair through his soft violet strands, to mess up his gracefulness and make him look as utterly ruined as he was a few nights ago... fuck, now you're irritated and horny).

"you're stallin'," hoshina finally points out your brother's obvious attempt at halting the ceremony. narumi raises an eyebrow, "no, i'm not. i'm just asking for opinions from everyone. it's good etiquette to include others too, you know?" he nonchalantly says.

that's bullshit, of course. if anything, hoshina soshiro is more versed in etiquette than narumi has ever been in his entire life.

"literally no one is sayin' anything right now," the swordsman deadpans, causing your brother to shrug. "maybe they just need more time. this is a serious matter, after all. need to think it over and all. what do you know about time, huh? hastily proposing to my sister in a goddamn hospital room after she just recovered. tch, so unethical."

"as if you bein' the officiant is not a derogatory towards ethics and tradition itself." narumi snaps at that, the faint pinkish tints that dust his cheeks reflecting his embarrassment, "what did you just say?!"

unaware of how loud his inner voice can get, kafka speaks up, "what are they arguing about? i thought they're gonna kiss already?" he asks reno as they stand side by side at the rows of seats below the altar.

the three of you freeze, reno's eyes dart around uneasily and kikoru visibly hides her face in her hands, internally groaning at the whole situation from somewhere in the distance.

hoshina turns to the older man. "kafka, ever given a marriage officiant speech before? i got a new job for ya," he says. narumi jolts beside him, stunned. "oi, what are you trying to do?!" he sneers just as the crowd starts to chatter in hushed whispers.

trailing his eyes up and down, then up and down narumi's figure again patronizingly before hoshina says, "dischargin' you from your current position, of course. what else?"

"excuse me? who gave you the right to do that?!"

"i'm the groom here. i can do whatever i want at my wedding, captain narumi."

the crowd becomes rowdier, and you grit your teeth, cursing in annoyance when the two dick-measuring males don't seem like they're gonna stop anytime soon.

you just wanted to get married in peace and this is what you have to deal with? such blasphemy!

thus, you finally snap, loud enough for everyone in the hall to hear, "for fuck's sake - may the groom fucking kiss the bride!" you insert yourself between your brother and your now husband, pulling hoshina into a ferocious kiss that he scrambles to reciprocate. narumi and all the other attendees gasp scandalously, which you don't pay any attention to, too busy trying to get yourself officially married.

all's well that ends well, you suppose.

taglist: @maruflix @pixelcafe-network @iamjellyfish @ouiouimochi @yueliie @justwinginglife @lumiambrose @minasfwoopyponytail @17020 @bgyuus @moon-cakiie

©🅁🅈🄴🅂🄲🄰🄿🄰🄳🄴🅂. do not steal, translate or repost my work anywhere else !

literally what am i gonna say to my class tomorrow when they ask "miss why are you sad?" and the answer is a drag queen lost a show by making too many dick jokes

tayce: raise your hand if you legitimately believe a'whora and i are in a relationship

tayce: a'whora, put your hand down

and by "it"? well, lets just say. my antinatalism.

If yall were to make a band what would be the name

🎶 hey now

you're a locked tomb

get your skull on

go

praaaaaaay 🎶

The guy coming up from anesthesia like “that’s my wife? I hit the jackpot? Are you a model????” That buck it’s Buck post work injury about Tommy.

#his performance in this taco bell ad was emmy award winning

that one comic

WHOA WHOA HOLDUP ECLIPSE ONLY HAS A JACKET ON. DOES. DOES HE NOT OWN A SHIRT. SIR THERE ARE CHILDREN >:[

I love reading the comments of people on my videos being so confused on if I'm a boy, girl, nb or trans. Because it means that, without context, my personality is so androgynous that I have succeeded in encapsulating this unknowable creature that lurks on the internet. I am beyond gender, I identify as a nightmare.

It's also because I don't have the e-girl voice.

Bro got downgraded 😭😭

Bruce: Son, you need to start calling me Batman in the field. It’s highly conspicuous that both Robin V and Damian Wayne call their parent “Father”, in addition to the fact that it gives villains a link to exploit.

Damian: but Batman is my Father and I am the Son of the Bat. I will not pretend otherwise.

Bruce:

Bruce: …Okay, sure, I understand, and I’m glad to be your father as well, but maybe instead in our civilian personas we could try something else. Y’know, Jason used to call me “Pops” but maybe we could try “Baba” or “Da-

Damian: Bruce.

Bruce:

Damian:

Bruce:

If someone rewrote flowers from 1980 but with desert duo it would be such a powermove methinks

I didn’t know what u were talking about so I looked it up and it’s dnf fanfic.

methinks the same

natasha wormanoff, aka. the black wormdow

wormda maximoff, aka. the scarlet wormtch

my friend was testing perfumes out at the store and she sniffed a bottle and anounced "ngl this bitch kind of sucks" The girl at the counter suddenly looked really sad, and my friend was like "I'm sorry, I wasn't talking about you." And the girl looked up and said "No don't worry, I didn't think that, but I just crushed a ladybug with my shoe" We both took a peak over the counter. she'd stepped on a red m&m

I think the book hate this fandom has for the series is so FUNNY as someone who came in here as a warriors fan. Do the books have problems that can be criticized? Yes.

But I gotta say. When I read WoF it felt like fresh fucking air after being trapped in warriors hell. Yall do not how good you have it. Try reading our books you’ll want to pull your hair out

.