Spidey Bros - Tumblr Posts - Page 2
Andrew: why did my last two brain cells have to be a sad one and a dumb one
Tobey: Gee, Andrew, why do you get two brain cells ???
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Peter: wh a t d oe s bdsm s t a n d f or ??? Andrew: Bondag-
Tobey: BIBLE DELICIOUS SUPER MAN.
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Andrew spider-man: *practically annihilates team of super villains single handedly*
Deadpool: there goes and semblance or heterosexuality i had left in me.
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MJ: Do you take constructive criticism?
Peter, already crying: s u re w ha ts u p
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Aunt may, holding up baby trans peter: stinky
Uncle ben: no. dont be mean.
Aunt may, spinning them both around: Stinky bastard man
Uncle ben, distraught: nO.
Tobey, watching the whole thing: Naughty boy, brat bastard.
Peter: I t’ s tr u e, m y cr i me s a re un f or gi v ab le.
Uncle ben: NOOOOO !!
spidey bros au
Peter: perhaps i’ll drink my sorrows away.
peter : *stabs straw through up&go*
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[on patrol]
Tobey: How long is he gonna do this?
*Andrew spider-man and deadpool arguing in the kmart parking lot*
Peter:
Enemies to lovers. 100k words. #slowburn #mlm.
Tobey: H-how did you do that ??
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Andrew: I asked to share wades queen sized bed with him
Andrew: to which he responded that he’s a queen and therefore it is at maximum capacity.
Peter, about to be murdered: man i sure hope this is gonna be on buzzfeed unsolved
Murderer: *takes off mask to reveal shane madej* it will
Peter: Ohmygosh, mr madej sir !!!
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Deadpool: I don’t see why i can’t be both the love interest and the antagonist.
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Tobey: I would always think to myself “How could another person kill someone?”
Tobey: And then I met Deadpool and i was like “Oh okay.”
Peter, whispering to andrew: you’re gay
Andrew: I know that
Peter: gay for wade?
Andrew: I did not know that.
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Deadpool: Aren’t we all just trying to be Morticia addams?
Peter: actually I’m trying to be Gomez addams
Deadpool: Honourable. Respectable. Where would we be without you
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[after a long patrol]
Peter, very tired: wow that’s a phat phucking cat
Tobey:
Tobey: pe- Spidey, that’s a raccoon.
Peter: i’ m taking he r home.
Deadpool: bitches be like “you’re mine” first of all I’m on probation, “I” belong to the state.
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Peter: i f i ever die roll my corpse down the lazy river-
Andrew: done.
Tobey: Let's get back to the part where you said “if” you ever die.
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Andrew spider-man: If you piss off whatever is in there and we die, I promise i’ll still be angry at you up in heaven.
Deadpool: *wheezing* you think i’m going to heaven?!
Deadpool to the criminals hiding: HE THINKS I'M GOING TO HEAVEN.
Criminals and deadpool: *LAUGHING*
Tobey: I’m going to have a quiet afternoon.
Andrew and Peter holding shaving cream:
Tobey, staring them down: A. Quiet. Afternoon.
Andrew and peter:
Tobey: No.
Andrew and peter: :)
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Andrew: Can the world stop downplaying the existence of ADHD.
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[babysitting]
Wade: No swearing under my roof.
Peter, a bastard: H e c k
Wade: *loading a gun* YOU’RE ON THIN FUCKING ICE, PETEY BOY.
Wade:
Wade: oh shit.
[the spidey bros playing jenga]
Peter, leaving one block holding up the tower: Beat that, bitch.
Andrew, aiming his web shooter: I plan to
*Tower falls over, leaving a mess of webbing and blocks*