Jens Stoffels - Tumblr Posts

i love listening to fun music that i can envision scenarios to about coming of age with the person you’ve fallen in love with. the only problem is i always envision the people in these scenarios to be jens and lucas and i cry because can you imagine a skam spin off with the both of them? :,)

Sick and Miserable.

a vds one shot. you can find more on my ao3.

( @ apolloswords )

feel free to comment/message me any suggestions for one shot ideas!

Most times, Lucas eagerly waits all year for the first snowfall. But this year, he feels like it’s a bit of a problem. That is, until Jens comes up with a solution.

Lucas was miserable.

It was the first snow fall of the year, also known as his favourite time of the year. He loved seeing the crystals fall gently onto the ground, counting everything with a white blanket. He loved all the festivities, ice skating, sledding and walks in the snowy trails. He adored it, and each year when the end of autumn rolled by, he sat by the windows, watching them frost up overnight as he awaited the first snowflake falling down from the sky.

But this year, he was miserable.

It had been a tough autumn for him. Busy studying all night for his final year in University, working around the clock and hoping his mother was doing okay, he hardly slept a wink. His stress had him too tense to even catch a break. And when he lost precious hours of sleep, he began to feel his body weakening a bit. And eventually, one day, it was too windy and too cold and he was out in the midst of the howling wind for too long that when he got home, he felt the aches, chill and sneezes of a fever creep upon him. He went to bed that night, knowing how terrible he would feel in the morning.

And it felt even worse when Jens opened up their bedroom curtains this morning to the sunshine glistening on the blanket of snow on the ground. But poor Lucas was far too in pain to do anything but wince and groan and turn around from the blinding light, shutting his eyes for some extra sleep.

He felt miserable. If he didn’t feel so sick, with a pounding head and a stuffed nose, he would be feeling the snowflakes gently fall on his pink cheeks, the ice skates beneath his feet and the warmth of his scarf and hat protecting him from the cold. He would probably be heading over to his favourite cafe, that released all their special winters drinks during the first snowfall. He’d stare at the menu, wondering if he wanted a peppermint mocha or a eggnog latte to heat him up.

But most of all, he would remember the first time he laid eyes on Jens. When he had ordered a gingerbread hot chocolate around four years ago, at the start of his University years. He had always come to this cafe, considering it was in the middle of his usual route to the Univeristy and back home to his small flat. But that day four years ago was when he first laid eyes on him.

Tall, lean, broad shoulders in a grey crew neck sweater with a bright festive red apron on him. The way Lucas had never really noticed the baristas before, since he always came in during random times and random shift changes. But when Lucas laid his eyes on him, he finally understood why people could fall in love at first sight.

In return, the raven haired boy with rich dark brown eyes managed to notice him as well. And after a few weeks of Lucas figuring out his schedule and incorporating that into his routine, they began to sneak off a few conversations during the boy’s break. He quickly learned his name was Jens, went to the same University as him and even noticed Lucas on the first snowfall as well. It was a shift he was covering, he had explained. So he shouldn’t have been there in the first place.

But by the fates he was.

He never told Jens exactly why he loved the first snowfall. He didn’t even know if Jens remembered all that. But each time it happened for the past four years, Lucas would insist the go for a walk to that cafe and try their winter drinks before heading out with their friends to go skating. Jens didn’t work there anymore, hadn’t for the last two years and each time they got a drink, he would comment on how he could make it better. But Lucas would just smile shyly, sipping on his drink as the steam warmed his cold cheeks and though about how there were many more first snowfalls for him and Jens to carry out their little tradition.

But even if there were many years ahead of them, skipping one felt like a setback that would last for an eternity.

“I know you’re upset.” Jens said sympathetically, as he brought Lucas some juice and toast for breakfast in bed. “But you’re way too sick to be out playing in the snow.”

He pouted and huffed, feeling like his younger self had just been told no hot chocolate before bedtime. Frowning, even if that extra energy towards his expressions managed to make his head hurt even more, he protested.

“I’m not that sick.”

His adoring boyfriend only snorted and placed a hand to his forehead. Jens quickly retracted it and shook it, like he had just burnt himself.

“Usually I can say you’re hot, but right now you’re burning hot.” Jens said. “You need to stay home, get some rest and get better. Then I promise you we can do all your first snowfall of the winter day soon.”

Lucas pouted again. “But it won’t be the same. It won’t be the first snow fall. It would be the second or third or fourth! Or whoever knows how long it takes for me to get better.”

“Which is why you need some rest.” Jens reminded. He took away the empty glass and plate from Lucas, set it aside on the night stand table and fluffed up the pillows for his cute, but very sick boyfriend. “Now.”

Huffing, Lucas shifted and flopped down on the pillows, trying to put up some sort of defence. But Jens only snickered at his boyfriend’s stubbornness and placed some thicker blankets on top of his frail shivering body. Lucas was already wearing thick fluffy socks and Jens’ oversized red hoodie, but it wasn’t until he felt himself get tucked in that he finally felt warm. His shivered came to a stop as he felt his body give into his tiredness before drifting and falling into a deep slumber.

Jens, rolling his eyes adoringly at how quick he had fallen asleep, leaned over and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Lucas snored lightly and his curls were pressed against his face, and Jens felt his heart melt. He so wanted to crawl into the bed with him, to hold him until he felt better. Getting sick from Lucas didn’t even phase him. He could deal with that.

But since Lucas had finally fallen back to sleep, this provided him the perfect opportunity to commence his plan. Planting another kiss on his cheek, Jens made sure he was all cozied up with a water bottle by his side before heading out the room. Closing the door behind him, he hoped by the time Lucas woke up, he wouldn’t be so miserable.

-

After a few hours, Lucas began to stir and he woke up to his body sweating profusely. He must’ve broken his fever some times during his nap, and he felt the urge to get changed. Once he lifted his head off the pillow and sat for a few minutes to avoid feeling lightheaded, he drank some water and crawled out of bed. Pulling the hoodie over his head, he grimaced at how his shirt clung onto his body. Rummaging around for a new shirt, he realized there was some slight shuffling in the living room.

He knew Jens was home, since it was the weekend. But he didn’t know what Jens could possibly be up to. Lucas quickly got changed and after dredging up quickly in the bathroom, he decided to follow the mysterious sounds coming from the living room. His head still hurt a little, but it wasn’t pounding and he figured changing locations from their bedroom to the living room would probably do him some good.

When he entered the living room, he was surprised to see what the commotion was all about. But he was even more surprised to see the state of the living room.

All of the furniture had been pushed to the side, creating a wide open space in the middle of the room. But the couches were turned around, letting their backs up an array of blankets. With the blankets draped over them, they made some sort of tent where a soft yellow glow was lit in the middle of it. Lucas could just see the arrangements of even more blankets and pillows inside the tent, and realized it was meant to be blanket fort. Gazing at it in awe, he walked around it, impressed with how it looked so soft and warm to just lay in. As he did walk around it, he felt his head hit something feathery and light. Looking up to see what it was, he felt his heart soften even more.

Hanging low and high from the ceilings were a bunch of paper snowflakes. Some were big, some small. Some had more intricate designs, some were more simple. Some were circular in shape, with their flakes in rounded edges that almost looked like waves of the ocean. Others were sharper in their flakes, looking like mystical swords dancing in battle. When he looked a little closer, he realized they were made out of white glittery paper, so they could glisten within the golden rays of the winter sun. Lucas continued to marvel around at the winter wonderland of the living room, feeling like he had just stepped inside of a snow globe.

Suddenly, he realized he was smelling something baking from the kitchen. His sense of smell was probably still delayed considering he was still a little sick, but once the smell of gingerbread hit his nose, he felt like the winter magic was only continuing.

Before he could check out what was happening from the kitchen, Jens emerged with the plate of cookies. He seemed surprised to see Lucas out of bed, probably not expecting to see him until another hour of so.

Jens blinked, as if he was caught in the act. "I didn't think you would be up." He admitted.

Lucas smiled at him, gesturing to the room around them. "What's all this?" He asked, a hint of glee in his voice.

Blushing, Jens placed the batch of cookies down and scratched the back of his head. "Uhm, I wanted to surprise you."

"Surprise me?" Lucas asked, grinning slightly. Even though his headache was still making its presence within his body, he couldn't help but feel lighter and happier than he had for the past few days "What's the surprise for?"

Jens shrugged but walked closer to him. He playfully flicked the tip of his nose and smiled at him, shaking his head fondly.

"You were really upset about not getting to do your usual first snowfall traditions." Jens explained as he pulled Lucas in by the waist. "I wanted to surprise you with a little snowfall that you could be in. And, I didn't want you to miss out on one of your favourite days of the year."

Giggling as Jens held him in a little closer, Lucas blushed. "How did you do all this?"

"Well," Jens said, looking past Lucas and around the room before he started explaining. "When you were knocked out, I decided to start setting up. I thought pushing all the furniture would somehow wake you, but I think you were passed out to the point that you could sleep through an apocalypse."

Rolling his eyes, he wrapped his arms around Jens' neck and raised his brows. "And then?"

"After I built the fort, which is professionally done since I am master at fort building, I decided we needed some snowflakes. So, after many years of cutting snowflakes for ly little sisters to play with, I have also become a master in that craft. And then I stood on a chair and hung them from the ceiling so they could look like they were falling down."

"Your long legs didn't have you touching the ceiling without a chair?" Lucas teased. "And then what?"

"I baked." Jens said. "At first, I didn't think I could do it only own. I only ever helped my Mom bake for the holidays and when I worked at the cafe, all I did was hand the pastry chef some icing or crack an egg. I found a simple recipe and prayed for the best."

"How did that go?"

"Terrible." He snorted. "I burnt the first batch and I thought the flat was going to burn down. Then I would have to wake you up, bringing you out in the cold as I watched my masterpiece crumble in front of me. But I managed to not have the fire alarm go off, and took a little bit more time. And now, they're perfect."

Looking over to where Jens had placed down the cookies, Lucas wandered over and picked one up. It was soft and warm against his head, and he took a bite out of it. Despite his weak sense of taste, and how every piece of food he had eaten for the past few days was essentially tasteless, the flavour of the cookie exploded in his mouth. It was sweet with just the perfect hint of ginger, and he knew he would be having more.

Based on Lucas' silence as he took another bite, with a small smile on his lips, Jens grinned. He didn't need Lucas to say it, but he knew he loved them. Jens couldn't help but walk over to, wrapping his arms around the boy with the cookie and placing a kiss to the top of his head. Lucas leaned into the familiar warmth and love radiating from his chest, thinking about how there would be no place as perfect and no feeling compared to how happy he felt in Jens' arms.

"Want to go into the tent? We can cuddle. I made it soft and warm enough for you to fall asleep in just in case you don't feel well enough to get up." Jens suggested, speaking softly as Lucas felt the vibrations of his words against his body.

"Won't you get sick? I don't want you to get sick." Lucas said with a frown. He would hate to have Jens put all this effort in for him to only catch his fever, headaches and stuffed nose.

But Jens shook his head. "I've been sleeping beside you for the past few days. Ever since you had gotten sick. If I were to get sick, I would be sick by now." Jens shrugged. "Besides, if I did get sick, I would just use it to my advantage so you can make me my favourite soup."

Again, Lucas rolled his eyes. But he brought his head out from Jens' chest and smiled up at him.

"Only if we can bring the cookies inside."

-

They laid in the mess of pillows and blankets, the plate of cookies on the edge of the tent with nothing left on it. Lucas noticed that the warm glow of the tent was from the string lights that they had kept tucked away. He almost forgot they even had those. As he looked up to where the blankets of the tent formed a small roof, he noticed the shadows of the snowflakes outside of the tent be cashed lightly over the blankets. The yellow light from the string lights illuminated their patterns, and Lucas could almost imagine like they were hiding from a giant snow storm outside.

“I can’t believe you did this all for me.” Lucas said again, still feeling like he was in a trance.

Jens turned his head and studied his boyfriend looking at the snowflakes above them. Unbeknownst to Lucas, but Jens was gazing at him in the same way he was gazing at the beautiful snowflakes above him. Jens grinned softly as he whispered to Lucas.

“Anything I do for you is worth it.” He said. “You’re worth it.” Jens clicked his tongue and shrugged. “Besides, I hated seeing you so sick and miserable. I missed my golden boy.”

Grinning, Lucas let out a loose laugh. “I hated being sick and miserable too.”

Turning his head to look at him, both boys smiled softly at one another. No matter where they were, outside in the winter snow or inside in their small blanket fort, they could feel their heartstrings literally pulling and yearning for each other. Even after for years of waking up next to each other, stealing kisses, smiling while the other one wasn’t looking, it always felt like the very first time they had locked eyes at each other from across the cafe. And no matter how many seasons passed between them, nothing could ever lessen the way they felt for each other. A new winter, spring, summer or autumn could roll around, but there would never come a love quite like this.

“Why do you love the first snow fall?” Jens asked curiously.

Lucas shrugged. “It reminds me of good times.”

“Like?”

“Well,” Lucas huffed out. “When I was a kid, the first snowfall always meant that the holidays were coming closer. And that always meant more time with family and my parents would be home more often. Since we moved a lot, I never really hung out with other kids. But during the holidays, we would always go visit my aunt in Amsterdam and my cousins would be there and everyone else.”

“Was it fun?” Jens asked, nudging in a little to take a closer look at the way Lucas’ eyes sparkled and lit up at the fond memory.

He nodded, smiling as he reminisced the memories. “It was really fun, the best of times. I really missed it when my parents finally moved us to Utrecht when I was thirteen and they started having their issues. Then the snow days started to get sad again, as I thought about hollow holidays where my parents forced themselves to pretend they could tolerate each other and I saw my mom get sicker each year around.”

“But you seem so excited about the first snow fall now.” Jens noted. “What changed?”

Feeling a blush come across his face, Lucas lowered his gaze from Jens shyly. “Something special happened on the day of another first snowfall. And it brought back the happy feeling I had been missing and thought I had lost.”

Raising a brow, Jens looked at him with more curiosity. “What happened?”

“You.” He admitted.

“Me?” Jens asked in disbelief.

Letting out a chuckle, he nodded. “Yeah, you. It was my first snow fall in Antwerp, four years ago when I moved to here for University. I didn’t know how to feel, for the first time on my own. Everything felt so out of place that day. I was in a new place, I didn’t have my scarf or hat to keep me warm, my favourite class had gotten cancelled and everything just felt wrong.”

“But?” Jens asked, gesturing for him to continue the story.

Tilting his head up, Lucas looked at him with a bright smile. “But then I saw you. I hadn’t seen you before, even though I did visit the cafe often. I saw you and thought how for once, everything fell right back into place. And everything felt more than alright.”

Beaming at him, Jens leaned in and softly kissed his lips. Lucas wanted to protest all the kisses Jens was laying on him, still feeling guilty he would get him sick. But then he would feel even more rejecting those kisses, and he wasn’t going tk choose the latter.

“And then when the snowfall came again a year later, you kissed me for the first time. We were ice skating with all our friends, and you told me I had marshmallow all over my lips. You offered to get it off for me, but I didn’t know that offer was through a kiss.” Lucas giggled.

Jens hummed as he thought back on the memory, and felt a little blush tinge his cheeks. “Yeah, I do remember that. I remember Kes and Isa practically demanding that I should finally just kiss you. And when I told Robbe later that day, he rolled his eyes and told me I was a year too late.”

“Which you were.” Lucas agreed.

Snorting, he placed a kiss on Lucas’ forehead and began playing with his curls. “What happened on the third snowfall?”

“We went to Utrecht to meet my Mom.” Lucas explained. “I was so nervous about how that could go about, but then I remember seeing the snow softly fall down as we rode the train and I took it as a sign that things would be okay.”

“And it was.” Jens nodded. “I know for a fact your Mom adores me.”

“She does.” Lucas admitted. “And I do too.”

Pressing their foreheads against each other, Jens leaned in and brushed his nose against Lucas’s.

“And what happened on the fourth snowfall?” He asked, and Lucas could feel the small smile creeping on his lips.

“I was miserable. I got sick. I thought my good luck on good snowfalls had run out.” He said. “But then I walked into my very own snow globe, cuddled right beside the love of my life. I think it was the best surprise I’ve ever had.”

Propping up quickly, Jens patted his chest as Lucas tilted his head in confusion.

“I have one last surprise. Hang on, I’ll be right back.”

Before Lucas could say anything, Jens bolted out the tent and Lucas could tell he had headed off into the kitchen. It took a few minutes of waiting, as Lucas racked the headache of his brain to try and figure out what was going on. After maybe fifteen minutes, Jens came back with two mugs of steaming hot drinks.

Sitting up quickly as his boyfriend looked at him with pure excitement, Lucas took one of the mugs. His sense of smell was still a little slow, so he couldn’t exactly figure out what the drink was.

“Taste it.” Jens instructed. “It’s not actually that hot.”

Ever so slowly, Lucas brought the mug to his lips. Just like the gingerbread cookies, the flavour exploded in his mouth. Flavours of sweet gingerbread danced around on his tongue, followed by the rich smoothness of a hot chocolate.

Immediately recognizing the flavour, he looked up at Jens with just as much as excitement. Jens nodded, indicating that his memory served him well.

“You’re not the only one who remembers our first snowfall.” Jens grinned. “Are you still miserable?”

Based off of the reaction he gave, Lucas was indeed not miserable anymore.

jens stoffels in bisexual lighting

bisexual lighting; the simultaneous use of pink, purple, and blue lighting to represent bisexual characters 💗💜💙

can u believe this happens in one scene? and the colours aren’t at all edited- only enhanced?

oh vds? BUT EVERYBODY MOVED ON BUT I STAYED THERE-

i miss the vds days

to all the fic writers out there who have made 2021 bearable and have given us all countless hours of happiness and escapism, thank you so much

not sure if anyone will see this lol

new fic update :)

idk if i should still upload my vds one shots on here because of the decline of notes they’ve been getting?? like they’re on ao3 anyway but i miss seeing people react to it on here too

jens stoffels gave me stiles stilinski vibes i can’t explain it at all he just did

AYO VDS TAG U MAY BE DEAD AS FOCK BUT IM ABT TO FLOOD IT WITH MY FORGOTTEN ONE SHOTS THIS IS MY ONLY WARNING

Will I Be Here Next Year?

a vds one shot. you can find more on my ao3.

( @ apolloswords )

feel free to comment/message me any suggestions for one shot ideas!

A magical Christmas night featuring Van Der Stoffels.

The snow fell softly on him and Jens as they made their way towards the Stoffels family home. Jens had a little bounce in his step, excited to see his family after a year of living in Utrecht. But Lucas was quite the opposite, his walk was more slow, at a distant pace as though he was taking his sweet time to get there.

It had been six months of their blossoming relationship, after an additional six months of what Lucas thought was an unrequited crush. But eventually, after much procrastination, they had started to accept falling in love together and were clearly happier than ever.

So happy, that Jens had excitedly brought up the idea of being Lucas home for Christmas. Lucas of course said yes, feeling so lucky that his boyfriend thought he was of great importance enough to bring him home to meet the family. And not just Jens’ parents and sisters, but also his aunts, uncles, relatives and grandparents.

The days leading up to Christmas was just as busy as ever, especially since Lucas had much more gifts to buy this year than in the previous. While he did do his usual rounds of buying gifts for Kes, Jayden, Isa and his mom, he was starting to enjoy buying stuff for Jens’ family as well. Especially for his sisters, Lies, a similar budding artist and Lotte, some of his more memorable childhood toys.

But now he was worried. Lucas had never spent Christmas with a large amount of people, let alone a family. Growing up as an only child with cousins who lived much further away didn’t exactly capture the large goldfish gatherings. He did have some experience in his later years, when his dad ditched and his mom had been admitted and Christmas then meant spending time with Kes’ family or the found family of his friends.

It never once meant spending time with his boyfriend’s family.

“Something wrong?” Jens asked, looking at Lucas worriedly.

He quickly shook his head, not wanting his boyfriend to worry. “I’m okay, it’s fine.”

“We don’t have to do this you know. If you want, we can just celebrate by ourselves.”

Frowning, he shook his head again. “Jens we can’t do that, they’re your family! You haven’t seen them in forever. Yes, I’m a little nervous, but I’ll get over it.” Lucas held up the bags of gifts in his hands and gestured to the bags Jens was holding as well. “Besides, we can’t have all these gifts.”

Smirking, Jens inched a little closer to give the top of Lucas’ head a kiss. Even though it was covered by a knitted hat, he could feel the softness of his lips and a good vibration shook through him.

“Thank you.” Jens said softly. “I was a little worried that maybe you would think this was all a little too fast. Meeting my family only after a few months of dating. But they’re so excited to meet you, I promise.”

He beamed, a little of the nervous weight being lifted off his shoulders. “I’m excited to meet them. Hopefully I’ll still be around next Christmas.”

Jens scuffed a laugh. “I’ll personally make sure of it.”

Before they knew it, they were standing in front of a large house decorated with lights and wreaths on the windows. Even without looking inside, there was a soft glow that emitted through and the faint sound of laughter, cheer and holiday music could be heard from outside. Taking a quick glance at Jens, he noticed the way he looked admiringly at the house, like he didn’t think he would ever see it again. Lucas smiled as he felt his own heart melt. It must’ve been tough for Jens to have moved at the start of the year, and nothing could ever compare to the way a home made you feel.

This confirmed that they were definitely at the right house. Lucas gulped down the rest of his nerves as they walked up the steps, Jens reaching out to ring the doorbell.

Just as his finger was about to press it, the door whipped open to a young teenage girl with the same raven hair he knew so well. But her eyes were much brighter, like a light hazel.

“Jens!” She cheered out, before yelling over her shoulder. “Jens is here! He brought his boyfriend!”

“Hello to you too Lies.” Jens laughed as she lunged forward to hug him. It was a little tricky, since Jens’ hands were full but he managed to wrap his long arms around her anyway.

Another girl emerged, charging towards Jens. She was much smaller, just barely a teenager but her hair and eyes was another light contrast in comparison to her brother’s. The only reason Lucas figured they were related was through their similar smirk, the corners of their lips lifting upwards as their eyes narrowed down softly.

“Hello to you too Lotte.” Jens laughed again, looking down at the smaller girl who had managed to squeeze his side.

“Jens! Lucas! Come in!” A women with dark hair and eyes called out warmly. She ushered the girls off their brother quickly, so the cold air wouldn’t come into the house and they could greet each other in the more preferable warmth of the house.

“Jens, I’ve missed you so much.” His mother greeted, wrapping her arms him. A man with light hair and eyes arrived behind her.

“Jens! It’s good to have you back.” He said, and Lucas quickly figured that must be his father.

As they continued to greet each other, Jens’ mother turned and opened her arms up to him. “Lucas, how nice to meet you.” She said warmly before she hugged him. Taking a closer look at him, she grinned and tilted her head to Jens. “He’s a pretty one, you got lucky with this one.”

“That I did.” Jens winked and Lucas felt his cheeks go pink.

“It’s nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Stoffels.” Lucas said politely.

“Oh no need for formalities, just call us Leona and Jacob.” Leona said, leading Lucas towards the living room. The amount of people glancing at him caused his nerves to come back again, but Leona gently squeezed his shoulder. “You can place all your gifts under the tree. I didn’t expect so many!”

“It’s my first Christmas with a big family.” Lucas explained. “Usually it’s always just been me and my parents and in more recent years my friends.”

“Oh well I hope we show you a great time. Dinner will be out in a bit but there’s something yea and hot chocolate if you’d like to warm up with.”

-

The room was a bustle of joy after dinner, when dessert was being served. Lucas was sitting at the table with Lotte, Lies and Jens. The two girls were excitedly sitting beside Lucas as they showed him all the candy they had brought out for a gingerbread house.

“Have you ever decorated a gingerbread house?” Lotte asked Lucas, as he started assembling the gingerbread cookies together.

“Nope.” He said, trying to keep his voice cheery but there was an empty feeling sinking in him when he realized he’d never done this before.

“Really? Jens and Lies and me always compete who can make the best ones.” Lotte explained.

“Jens’ suck!” Lies teased before Jens began tickling her stomach.

“They won’t this year because I’ll have Lucas on my team.” Jens defended back, before leaning over the chair Lucas was sitting on to give him a flirty kiss on the cheek.

“How can that work? Lucas doesn’t know how to make a gingerbread house. He’s never made one before.” Lies asked.

“Well, aside from being a really good artist who’s very skilled with his hands, Lucas is an extremely good baker.” Jens said with a smirk. “He bakes for me all the time and even decorates all the cookies with icing and candy. I think I have a professional with me.”

Reaching over and pinching his cheek, Lucas smirked back. “Who says I’m even on your team?”

“I want Lucas!” Lotte cried. “It’s not fair I lose every year ‘cause I’m the youngest!”

“Traitor.” Jens pouted as Lotte rolled her eyes before making her way over beside him. Taking some icing on his hand, Jens swiped it on Lucas’ cheek, still pretending to be annoyed at him.

Lucas took the icing off his cheek and licked it, giving Jens a wink. Now Jens just rolled his eyes.

“I’ll have you know I crush the competition every year.” He mumbled.

“Except for this year!” Lotte exclaimed excitedly.

-

Lucas was curled up against Jens with a mug of hot chocolate in his hands as he watched people around him open up their gifts. Wrapping paper was everywhere and Lucas even had a stack of his own gifts laying on the couch’s armrest. He felt so warm and appreciated, the worries of feeling out of place completely out of his mind. Jens had his arm around him, gently picking and playing at the loose threads from his knitted sweater.

Leaning his head on Jens’ shoulder, he could feel the equal warmth coming from his boyfriend. Jens smiled at feeling Lucas against him and laid a kiss on his head.

“You know,” Leona smiled from across the room. “I don’t think Jens and Lucas have realized they’ve been under the mistletoe this entire night. Unless they do, and that’s why Jens keeps sneaking in small kisses.”

They looked up and realized she was right. There was some mistletoe hanging directly over their heads and they both scoffed at the irony. Lucas hadn’t noticed it when he first sat down, but the twinkle in Jens’ eyes told him that he knew otherwise. That was probably why Jens had motioned him to come sit down in the first place.

Catching one of his smirks, Jens leaned over and gave him a small kiss on the lips, which Lucas instantly found himself giggling at. The family around him cheered as Jens pressed in a little closer and Lucas could feel a smile spread on his lips.

When they pulled apart, there were still some cheering and Lucas noted the smile that still stayed on Jens’ face. He watched as Jens stuck his tongue out slightly, wiping it across his bottom lip.

“Tastes like hot chocolate.” He teased.

Rolling his eyes, Lucas downed the rest of his drink and placed his mug down on the side table. Lunging a little forward, he grabbed Jens’ face and peppered soft kisses all over it. Jens yelped a out at the sudden course of action and tried to pry Lucas off, but Lucas had leverage since half of his body was practically on top of his. As he continued to cover Jens’ face with the hot chocolate from his lips, the cheers turned into laughter.

And as much as Jens was protesting, he knew deep down how much Jens was secretly enjoying the attack of hot chocolate kisses.

-

By the time most people had left, it was already close to midnight. The two younger girls were yawning and eager to go to bed. Santa was still to come in the morning, adding more to the gifts that were saved until the morning. Jens and Lucas were helping Leona and Jacob clean up for the night. Lucas busying himself in the kitchen, drying up dishes as Jens was outside helping his dad bring in extra gifts that had been hidden in the car.

“Jens is lucky to have you.” Leona said as she passed Lucas a plate.

“I’m lucky to have him.” He responded with a shy smile. “I haven’t met anyone like him.”

“Well I’ve never seen him smile so much. He looks so in love and I’m happy it’s with somebody like you.” She grinned and leaned in closer to whisper in his ear. “Don’t tell him this, but he did tell me about you a few months ago. He was more than excited to finally be dating you. I cant imagine what he feels now that you guys are so clearly in love.”

He felt a warm blush hit his face and he tried to hide it by shaking his head. Leona only laughed, indicating that his attempt at hiding his reaction had failed.

Before either of them could say anything else, Jens popped his head into the kitchen. He was still dressed in his outdoor clothes and his cheeks were tinged red from the coldness outside.

“Lucas! It’s snowing outside!” He exclaimed excitedly. “Mom? Would it be okay if I borrow Lucas for a bit?”

“He‘s all yours.” She replied with a gleam. “We’re finished here anyway so when you boys come back inside we’ll probably be in bed. Jens, your room is pretty much exactly how you left it but I did wash your sheets.”

“Alright, thanks Mom.” He replied, walking over to them as he gently tugged on Lucas. “Good night.”

“Thank you, sleep well.” Lucas added, grinning at the way Jens was eagerly pulling him away.

After they had said goodnight to Jacob and Lucas put on his outer clothes, Jens lead them outside. Lucas hadn’t noticed it before, but Jens’ house wasn’t the only one decorated with Christmas lights. In fact, almost every house was. The lights were brightly lit up against the night sky, sending out their Christmas magic into the air.

And of course, a soft snowfall was gently falling down on them. Snowflakes fell down from the sky, landing on the ground and even their faces. Lucas giggled as he watched some of them fall into Jens’s face, in turn, making his face sparkle.

“The snowflakes are all over your freckles.” Jens pointed out, taking a finger and gently dotting at them. “They’re kinda like your new freckles.”

“You have snowflakes for eyelashes now.” Lucas giggled. “I’ve always loved the snow.”

“Really? I thought you didn’t like to be cold.”

“I don’t. But snow always looks so magical and during the holidays, they’re always a new feeling in the air.”

“I can see why you collect snow globes now.”

Lucas grinned, recalling his abundance collection at him. Some were gifts given to him during past Christmas’, others were once he had found on trips or in little vintage shops. During the holidays, he loved to set them out on display, almost as if it were a little village. Not all of them were super festive, but all of them did seem to hold a homage to his found memories. He had a globe from Isa with a swing set, a globe from his parents when he had started his love for art, and a globe of a rainbow flag he had bought for himself after coming out.

“Oh hey, speaking of snow globes, I have a little gift for you. It’s upstairs in my room.” Jens winked as he held out for Lucas’ hand. “Wanna go see it?”

Nodding excitedly, Lucas squeezed his hand. “I thought you already got me my gifts?” He asked as he followed Jens’ lead back inside.

“I did.” Jens shrugged. “But this was kind of planned way before the holidays and it arrived just before so I decided to give it to you now. I got my Mom to bring it up earlier.”

“You’re so sneaky.” Lucas teased as they took off their winter clothes.

They headed up the stairs and into the hallway, turning towards the left bedroom. As they entered, Lucas took a look around while Jens shut the door behind him. Their overnight bags were in a corner, brought in earlier by Jens and Jacob. It looks like an average teenage boy’s room, comic books sprawled on the floor, posters of Star Wars on the wall, a keyboard in the corner and a small bed pushed up against the wall. Lucas grinned, thinking how it would be a tight cuddle with Jens tonight so they would both fit in his bed.

Not that he was complaining.

“You really do like Star Wars huh?” Lucas teased.

“Yeah, and you liked me enough to binge all the movies with me.” Jens teased back as he headed over to the small night table and opened up the drawer.

“To be honest, it did have a good trade off of being able to cuddle with you.”

“And sleep on me. I’m pretty sure you didn’t even get through one force of the movie. Get it? One force? One fourth?” Jens joked after pulling out an item wrapped up in tissue paper and headed back towards Lucas.

“Open your palms out but hold it very gently.” He instructed. “I’m sure you know why but just be very careful.”

Excitedly, Lucas shut his eyes and put out his palms. After a few seconds, he felt a heavy weight be placed on them. Thinking that it was okay to open his eyes again, he looked at the tissue paper. They had little snowflakes on them, decorated as if they were falling down from the snow.

Ever so gently, Lucas pulled apart the tissue paper. When he had finally unravelled the gift, he gasped and felt his heart flutter.

It was a snow globe, similar in size to the ones he had at home. But inside the globe was a statue of a skatepark, with two boys sitting on the ramp. One with dark raven hair and a red hoodie and the other with light brown curls and a blue denim jacket. When Lucas took a closer look, he realized that the two figures were even holding hands.

“Do you like it?” Jens whispered shyly as Lucas still gazed at it in awe.

“I love it.” He breathed out. “Jens, this is so beautiful. Where did you get it?”

“I found a place where you could customize one and with the help of Sander, he drew the design i wanted and I sent it in to get made.” He explained. “I know you usually like the snow globes with memories of what happened this year, so I even put something underneath.”

Gently flipping it over, Lucas noticed the engraving underneath in swirly cursive letters.

“Dear Luc. I’ll love you for more years after this. Love, Jens.” He read out loud, his voice still in complete awe.

“I thought for me at least, one of my biggest things this year was meeting you. And getting to be with you. So in a way, it’s also like the start of my little snow globe collection.” Jens whispered.

Still grinning as hard as ever, Lucas gently placed the globe down on the nearby bookshelf and threw his arms around Jens. Jens lost his balance for a second but laughed as he hugged Lucas back. He dipped his face into the crook of Lucas’ neck, a perk for him since he was taller. Lucas had to tiptoe a bit to place his chin onto his shoulder, but the wide grin still spread on his face as he closed his eyes to take in the moment.

“I love you so much.” He whispered.

He didn’t have to see Jens’ face to know he was smiling. He knew by the way Jens rubbed a hand up and down his back and hugged him tighter that he was feeling just as happy.

“I love you so much too.” Jens replied back, as they pulled away to face each other. Lucas still kept his arms around his neck as Jens placed his hands on his waist. “Thanks for spending Christmas with my family. They really love and adore you and are ready to have you come by again next year.”

“Will I be here next year?” Lucas teased, smiling as he gently bit down the tip of his tongue.

Laughing, Jens put a hand to the back of his head and pushed him in. Lucas could feel his lips kiss him on his forehead, and a rush of warmth shot through him. He giggled as he realized how lucky he was this year.

“That’s something I’ll always make sure of.” Jens assured. “For this year, the next, and the many years that come after that.”

“Merry Christmas Jens.”

“Merry Christmas Luc.”

I Hate Birthdays.

a vds one shot. you can find more on my ao3.

( @ apolloswords )

feel free to comment/message me any suggestions for one shot ideas!

Jens didn’t think he could ever like birthdays again. But this year, maybe he got a little lucky with his birthday gift.

originally posted for jens’ birthday 

The place was booming with laughter, music and cheers. The colourful balloons and streamers decorated the apartment and a table of sweet treats and two cakes was laid out across the room. Jens felt everyone clap his back and greet him, where he nodded, put on a smile and thanked them.

Today was his birthday and his party. Well, his and Milan’s birthday party. It had gotten to be a slow tradition that they celebrated the occasion together, and Jens didn’t mind it at all. But this year, he was exceptionally glad that they were doing it together.

Because he didn’t even want to do it in the first place.

It wasn’t because he wasn’t fond of parties or birthdays- in fact, he loved events of celebrations. He was often the first one showing up at the doorstep to help decorate the place and the first one to plan everything as well. Jens loved the entire process, up until it was the later hours of the party, towards the end. Everyone would start feeling the tiredness of partying too hard and things would come to a slow, but the euphoria would still linger in the room, until every last person had left.

“What’s with all these new people?” Moyo asked, gesturing his head towards a small group of people near Milan. Jens looked over and realized he didn’t recognize any of them, even though Milan did.

“I think they’re Milan’s friends from the Netherlands.” Jens noted. “He told me his cousin and some of their friends were going to visit this week.”

Before Moyo could respond, Robbe frowned in the opposite direction. “What’s she doing here?”

Now turning to figure out what Robbe was gesturing to, Jens turned his focus away from Milan and his Dutch friends- only to frown instantly at who he saw next.

“I didn’t realize she was invited.” Moyo noted.

Trying to ignore the way he was clenching his teeth and feeling his whole body stiffen, Jens coughed awkwardly.

“I think Zoë invited her.” He mumbled. “You know, her being Milan’s flat mate and Jana being her best friend.”

“She still has a lot of nerve to come here though.” Robbe snorted. “You would think after what she did to you last year…” He began to refer, before taking a quick look at Jens’ uncomfortable demeanour. “Sorry, probably shouldn’t bring it up.”

“It’s whatever.” He mumbled again.

Jana seemed to have felt them staring, as she whipped her head towards their direction. The second her eyes landed on Jens, she lowered her gaze, as if she had felt the guilt suddenly wash over her. For a split second, Jens felt a little flutter of hope in his chest, as if he had just let go of the grudge he still held against her.

That was, until she linked her arms around some tall guy who they realized she had come here with. As they walked across the room to head over and greet Milan, Jana gave the three of them, mostly Jens, a light apologetic smile. Neither Moyo or Robbe returned it, and Jens only looked down at the half empty beer bottle in his hand, before bringing it to his lips.

After taking a sip and feeling the buzz to his brain, he looked over at his two friends by his side.

“I can’t believe she’s here.” Moho snorted. “You would think that after last year-“

“It’s whatever.” Jens found himself repeating again. He could feel his chest tighten and suddenly felt like he couldn’t breathe. Fanning his shirt against his chest, Jens tried to catch his breathing but to no avail.

“I’m going to head out.” He simply announced. “Need some air.”

He didn’t need to look at Robbe or Moyo to know their expressions. He already knew they were looking at him, feeling rather sorry for him. But it didn’t matter. Right now, he only felt sorry for himself and being in a room where he was supposedly one of the main reasons for tonight’s celebration, well, he felt even more sorry for himself than he would’ve been on any other day.

On any other given day.

-

Jens realized that Milan didn’t exactly have a balcony so getting some air, as well as some peace and quiet, was not as easy as he thought. He debated going down, towards the bench on the sidewalk, but the street was busy with the late night traffic and the bustle of people on a night out would only add to her commotion and chaos. It wasn’t exactly the peace and quiet he was looking for.

So he found himself up on the rooftop. The stairs were a little creaky and the winter air hit his body briskly that he shivered a little underneath the hoodie and jacket he briskly put on before heading out of the flat. The beer bottle wasn’t in his hand anymore, after he chugged its remains and threw it into a recycling bin, hearing it clatter against all the other glass bottles. The music and cheer from the party eventually faded from his focus the further he got, and for once, he was just fine not being apart of it.

When his feet planted flat on the rooftop, he took in the stillness and quietness of the night. But even as still and gentle it was, he realized he was not alone. There was a huddled figure a few feet away, their back turned against him and some smoke wafting up in the air above him.

Jens chewed on the inside of his lip, unsure if he should say anything. He didn’t know where else he could go, where else it was quiet enough to let his mind chill out for a bit. For a split second, he almost considered calling it a night and just going home. But that would probably make him feel even worse and more sorry for himself and that wasn’t exactly what he wanted to remember on this birthday.

“Hey.” He heard a low but melodious voice ring out to him. Looking up, he realized that the huddled figure from a few feet away had turned around and spotted him.

It was a boy, about his age. Jens couldn’t see much under the dark shadows of the night, but he could make out some sparkling eyes and a set of dainty lips turned up into a warm and inviting smile.

“Hey.” He replied, managing the courage to greet him back.

“Are you okay?” The boy asked, and Jens took note of the way his accent sounded a little different. He probably wouldn’t have noticed it in any other situation, but the lack of noise around them made any other noise much more clearer. “You look a little lost.”

“I’m fine.” Jens responded, even though he felt like he had to choke that reassurance out of himself. “Sorry for bothering you, I can leave.”

“No you can stay. I don’t mind.” The boy shrugged and Jens realized his smile turn up a bit more.

Figuring there wasn’t really anything else he wanted to go back to yet, Jens shrugged and decided that he may as well hang out here, even if it wasn’t exactly the “alone” moment he was looking for. But the boy just looked so warm and enticing that he quickly found his feet leading him over towards him.

“I hope you don’t mind the smell of weed though.” The boy laughed lightly as Jens lowered himself down to sit beside him.

“Is that what you came out here for? To smoke?” He asked curiously.

Nodding, the boy lifted his hand to his lips, placing the joint between them. “I could ask you the same.” He said with a light huffed laugh. “I don’t like smoking inside.” He explained, after exhaling and letting a cloud of smoke escape his pretty blushed pink lips. Turning his head, he offered the joint to Jens and grinned widely. “I’m Lucas.”

“Jens.” He introduced, after slowly taking the joint from him. Mimicking Lucas’ actions, he brought the joint to his lips and inhaled deeply. He hadn’t really considered getting cross faded tonight, but fuck, ir was his birthday after all. He may as well feel like he could do something rather than feel like he had to disappear.

The weed quickly filled his lungs, burning a little as they announced their presence in his system. Coughing lightly as he exhaled, he passed the joint back to Lucas. He tried not to make eye contact with him, even though he could feel Lucas studying him closely with his big blue sparkling eyes.

“Thanks.” Jens managed to say, trying to stifle back a few more coughs. “Your weed is stronger than I’m used to.” He admitted.

“The works of the Netherlands are knitted closely together in this joint.” Lucas laughed, twirling the joint in between his fingers. Jens. priced the abundance of rings on them, sparkling against the night sky much like his eyes.

“Netherlands?” Jens asked, finally catching onto why Lucas’ accent was a little different. “You’re Dutch?”

“Born and raised.” He smiled. “You must be a little more lost than I thought Jens. I thought you Belgians could pick up on us a little quicker than that.”

Biting down the tip of his tongue, Jens figured out pretty quickly that he liked this rather spunky Dutch boy.

“Sorry.” He let out a light laugh. “Tonight is really not my night.”

“Is that so? I figured it’s really nobody’s night unless it’s their birthday or something.”

The slight wince and lack of a quick response must’ve given him away. He watched as Lucas’ eyes began to look at him some more, studying him as though he was a close up piece of art that didn’t make much sense upon the first look. Jens watched as Lucas’ eyes began to widen upon realization.

“It’s your birthday isn’t it?” Lucas asked in shock.

Now biting down on his bottom lip, Jens nodded and shrugged. Lucas seemed to be making even more connections in his brain as his eyes managed to widen even more. Jens looked at him, confused as the what else he could’ve figured out.

“You’re the one who shares a birthday with Milan!” Lucas exclaimed, snapping his fingers with the that wasn’t holding the joint.

“You know Milan?” He asked, wondering how that connection was even possible.

“He’s my cousin, you couldn’t tell?” A smirk rolled over his lips as he leaned in forward and let his eyes twinkle. “You didn’t see me at the party?”

“I don’t think you saw me either.” Jens huffed out a laugh. “Otherwise, you would’ve known I was the other birthday boy.”

“Alright fair enough.” Lucas eyes Jens up and down. “So what do I have the pleasure of spending some time alone with the birthday boy?”

“Good timing?”

“Figures. I’m known for that.” His voice dropped a bit, sounding a little less enthusiastic. Now it was soft, like a gentle melody wavering around him. Passing the joint towards him, Lucas asked“So, what are you doing out here?”

“I hate birthdays.” Jens admitted flatly, looking away and down at his feet and the almost finished joint. After taking the last hit, Jens squashed it under his foot. He didn’t think Lucas brought an ashtray with him, so this method would have to do.

“You hate birthdays?” He repeated, and Jens could hear a hint of amusement in his voice. Looking over, Jens noticed the smile slowly reappear on Lucas’ lips.

“I hate birthdays.” He repeated, feeling Lucas’ smile somehow transfer onto his own lips.

“How can someone hate birthdays? Let alone their birthday. I’ve never met anyone like that.”

“Well I guess now you have.”

They sat in silence for a bit. Below them, the sounds of late night traffic bustled about and noises of music and people were faint in the distance. Jens didn’t know if it were from the people down below, walking past the flat buildings or from open windows. He wondered what the people were doing back at the party and then wondered if Lucas would be heading back anytime soon. A part of him, a rather large part, didn’t want him to go just yet. It felt too soon. Jens didn’t even know if he would be given the same chance to talk to him inside.

“I don’t like Christmas.” Lucas announced breaking the silence.

Laughing lightly, Jens looked at him. “You can’t be serious?”

“No it’s true.” A light laugh also escaped him. “I don’t like Christmas.”

“And why would you not like Christmas?”

“Glad you asked.” Lucas replied with a smirk. He leaned back a bit, resting on his elbows as he looked out in the distance, the smirk on his face still very prominent. “I hate Christmas because of my parents.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“I do care to elaborate. Thanks for asking. It all started during Christmas morning, when I noticed I had suspiciously gotten a bit more presents than usual. And rather, more expensive presents. Art supplies that cost more than what my allowance for a year was even worth.”

“You hate it because you got too many presents?”

“Hold on to your thoughts, I’m not quite there yet.” He playfully taunted. “And after Christmas breakfast, where they had even allowed me to eat a slice of cake for, they piled me into the good old car do we could head over to my Oma’s house. Only to break the news that they were getting a divorced and I was forced to sit through the entire Christmas gathering wondering what went wrong.”

“They don’t seem to have good timing.”

“Nope. That wasn’t a trait I inherited from either of them.”

“So that’s why you hate Christmas.” Jens figured, speaking slowly as if he still needed confirmation.

Holding up a finger, Lucas tilted his head a bit, side to side. “Not quite. I hate it because every Christmas after that felt like a cheap reminder that family love, a love meant to exist forever, wasn’t all that. But you know what I learned?”

“What did you learn?”

“That, that one Christmas, didn’t have to be the standard for the rest of my lifetime filled with Christmases. Eventually I learned that being with my friends, or my new found family, could give me a new meaning to Christmas.”

“But you still don’t like it.”

“It’ll take some time, but based on how things are going now, maybe next year I would have fallen completely in love with it.”

Another moment of silence passed through them, but Jens felt like time had stood still. He felt rather fascinated by Lucas. By the way he spoke, expressed and gestured his words. It was like watching someone who knew exactly what they were talking about, regardless if they had the credentials to fully speak about it. But Lucas was confident and enticing, and Jens soon realized he couldn’t get enough.

“I don’t like birthdays because last year I found my girlfriend making out with someone in one of the rooms.” He finally found himself admitting.

“So you came up here to avoid remembering that?” Lucas asked, not seeming very phased by what Jens had just said.

Shaking his head, he replied. “Well that, and I didn’t expect to see her tonight with some new guy hanging off of her. Or her hanging off of him. Whatever it was, I saw.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah, shit.”

Quickly, Lucas stood up and reached out his hand towards him. Furrowing his brows in slight confusion, Jens took his hand. Pulling him up, both boys stood in front of each other and Jens realized he had a little height on the other boy. Looking down at him, he was still met with the rather playful smile on his lips.

“Come on, let’s head back to that party.” Lucas said, still not letting go of Jens’ hand. “She doesn’t have to be the only one coming in with someone new.”

-

So many things could change in a year.

For example, Jens didn’t think he would eventually move out. He didn’t think he could grow taller but he managed to sprout an inch. He didn’t think he could ever start liking the taste of coffee without cream or sugar, but now, most days he found himself drinking it straight black.

He also didn’t think that he would eventually learn to like birthdays. Even to go as far as love them.

Rolling over on the bed, he pulled the blankets over him as he let his eyes adjust to the early sun. He watched as it shined down on the other person in his bed, who was already awake and sitting with their legs crossed and a sketchbook on top of their lap. Lucas had his body hunched over it, his hand working fast at the sketch that Jens couldn’t see from this angle.

The quietness of the morning was rather tranquil, and he wanted to keep its serenity. But a yawn escaped him, blowing his cover as Lucas perked his head up. Based on his expression, he seemed rather happy to see his, now awake, boyfriend.

“Morning.” Jens greeted, his voice still a little slurred and raspy.

“Happy birthday my birthday boy.” Lucas greeted, leaning over his sketchbook and placing a kiss on Jens’ cheek. “You woke up earlier than usual.”

“Do you always sketch this early in the morning?” He asked, changing the topic.

Shrugging, Lucas replied. “Not always, usually when I don’t want to climb out of bed just yet. The morning is nice to work in, the world is a little different when the sun has just woken up and the world is still a little bit asleep. Or at least, my world is still asleep.”

“You’re so cheesy.” Jens teased before opening his arms up and creating some space for Lucas to crawl into. “Cuddle with me?”

Placing the sketchbook to the side of the bed, Lucas gently snuggled into the little space as Jens tucked the blanket over him. He sighed as he felt his body against Lucas’, feeling the warmth radiate between the both of them.

If Jens had one wish in the world, it would probably be to have every morning be like this one. But he didn’t even have to wish that anymore, it was exactly what he got every morning. It made everyday feel like his birthday, his .

“I have a lot of things planned out today before the main party.” Lucas mentioned. “First I’m going to make you breakfast, then we can go to your favourite little store on the corner, you know, the one with all the records and posters and stuff? And then-“

“Luc,” Jens laughed, cutting him off and pulling him in a little closer. “There’s no rush, it’s still very early in the day.”

“Do you want to see what I was sketched?” He asked, sitting up a little and reaching for his sketchbook excitedly.

Laughing, Jens nodded. “Okay baby, what did you draw?”

Unable to contain his excitement, he continued to flip through the sketchbook. When he finally found the page he was looking for, what Jens assumed was the most recent page, he shyly moved the sketchbook towards his side so Jens could see.

Although the sketch was done in a rather quick matter, that didn’t mean there was a lack of detail. Jens admired the way the sketching of the figures and scenery around seemed to have been down without even lifting the pencil off the paper. He looked at the shading, though done with quick efficiency, still looked as if the piece was being brought to life.

It was a picture of two figures on top of a roof, overlooking the city of high skyscrapers and twinkling stars above them. The figures had their backs turned, but there was no mistaking the way their bodies were slightly leaning towards each other, as their shadows seemed to have already been blended in. Jens smiled, to himself and to the artwork, already realizing what it was.

“This is the night we met.” He said breathlessly, completely taken by awe.

“Yeah.” Lucas said softly. “Exactly one year ago, on your birthday.”

Tracing his finger over some of the details in the page, Jens huffed up a laugh before turning to face Lucas. The other boy was smiling widely, his cheeks flushed pink as his beautiful blue eyes glowed within the morning sun.

“You know, you told me that my next year, you could’ve completely fallen in love with Christmas.”

“I did, you know? Especially when we spent it together in this little flat of ours.”

“Well I fell in love with my birthday all over again.” Jens admitted, pressing his forehead against Lucas’. “And I think that had to do with also falling in love with you along the way.”

Grinning his biggest grin yet, Lucas placed his hands on the side of Jens’ cheeks and kissed his forehead. After, he placed his forehead back onto his, pressing in a little harder.

“Happy birthday my love.” Lucas whispered.

Fock the Government.

a vds one shot. you can find more on my ao3.

( @ apolloswords )

feel free to comment/message me any suggestions for one shot ideas!

As the castle opens its gates for the people to attend the Prince’s Coronation Ball, Lucas stands in front of them, wondering if he has a shot at his own fairytale.

“You guys, check this out!” Lucas heard Jayden announce from a few feet away.

Directing his attention off of the conversation he and Kes were just having, Lucas nodded at Jayden, who was making his way over to the large fountain in the middle of the village square. People bustled about, trying to get the last bit of goods they could get their hands on before the marker would eventually close for the night. The early colours of the sunset began to pain the sky as Lucas felt its warm touch linger onto his face as he fiddled with the golden ring on his finger, the rose quartz stone glistening under the sunset’s colours.

“Whatcha got there?” Kes asked as he noticed the piece of paper Jayden was waving in his hand.

Sliding across the fountain’s rim to sit beside Lucas, who was now in the middle of his two friends, Jayden flicked the piece paper towards them, so they could read it themselves.

“Hither for the Coronation Ball for Prince Jens!” Kes dramatically read out. “To Happen in a Fortnight!”

They all snickered at the poster, an image of the castle imprinted onto it as it stated the times that guests could arrive and possible snag a dance with the Prince Jens himself.

“Where did you get this?” Lucas asked, trying to gasp for air in between his laughs.

“A bunch of them got delivered to the postal shop today and we have to hang them up tomorrow. I snagged one so I could give you guys an exclusive sneak peak.”

Kes snorted. “I can’t believe it’s time for someone else in that stupid Royal Family to take reign. As if anything is going to change and they’re just going to take all of the town’s money to feed their rich asses while we’re forced to starve.”

“Even worse because Prince Jens knows nothing about the town.” Lucas added.

The other two boys looked at him, raising their eyebrows in suspicion. Lucas looked at them, confused at their confusion.

“You guys don’t know? Prince Jens hasn’t even lived here since he turned ten. He left for some prestigious boarding school in another country to learn about how to run a kingdom and was to return in eight years to take reign.” He explained before muttering under his breath. “Sounds stupid if you ask me. How are you going to run a kingdom you haven’t even properly experienced?”

“The monarchy is a joke.” Jayden replied. “Nothing but flaunting their power and richness. You know what? I bet you this Prince Jens isn’t even all that. He probably looks like he’s part ogre or giant or something.”

“Please, let’s not disrespect the ogres and giants like that.” Lucas scoffed. “As far as I know, the ogres and giants I know hold more brain cells than the entire Royal Family combined.”

“Has anyone ever actually seen what he looks like?” Kes asked.

“Nah, he was only every really shown at birth and then practically locked up in the castle before he left. There aren’t any paintings of him either.” Lucas replied.

“Hey check it out.” Jayden said, looking back at the invitation. “It says it’s a Masquerade Ball.”

“Sounds even more stupid.” Lucas snorted.

“So I guess that definitely means we aren’t going.” Jayden laughed.

Kes shook his head. “Us? I think they would kick us out upon even entering the castle. Everyone knows how much we go against everything they stand for. We’re literally the face of every protest and resistance.”

“They wouldn’t even know it was us though with the mask on anyway.” Lucas pointed out. “Theoretically speaking, we could definitely get in.”

Hopping up from his spot, Jayden crawled over behind Lucas and Kes, careful not to fall off the fountain’s ledge and into the water. After shuffling around a bit to create space, Jayden crouched down and threw his arms around them. Pulling them in closer, Lucas noticed the mysterious smirk on his face before he lowered his voice.

“Well then we could get in no problem.” He snickered. “Come on, the whole kingdom is going to be there. Once they figure out how much of a joke Prince Jens is for the future of our kingdom, we can direct them into a revolution. Think of what this means for the people of the village.”

“You don’t really think that’s going to happen do you?” Lucas asked. “We can’t just start a revolution by sneaking into the palace. Plus it isn’t even sneaking in if we’re allowed to be there.”

Kes responded with a glint in his eye. “There’s only one way to find out.”

“Fuck the government though.” Jayden explained.

“Yeah,” Lucas said under his breath. “Fuck the government.”

-

True to their words, the three of them found themselves staring at the large castle doors, open for people to enter. Many people moved pass them, eager to get to the ball in their gorgeous dresses and suits with matching masquerade masks. Lucas could hardly recognize anyone, except for his friends.

The blue mask adorned with silver detailing and jewels on his face seemed to give him a sense of confidence. While Lucas was one to speak his thoughts freely and feel secure with himself, there was something magical about people not knowing who he was. He could be anyone he wanted. While his friends and him had only intended to come to the Coronation Ball as a mere joke, he couldn’t help but start to think that it all started to seem like a fairytale.

Eventually, they had passed the guards and arrived to the actual ball, where the guests danced, converses, drank and ate gloriously, like this was their only night in paradise. Lucas would often take some glances around, spotting his friends dance with girls in their big dresses as their hair flowed past their shoulders. Trying not to feel like he didn’t belong, Lucas then made it a little game to see if he could figure out which person at the ball was Prince Jens. Was it the man in green, flirting by the table filled with cake? The man in a deep purple, twirling a lovely maiden all over the dance floor? Or maybe it was the man in a darker shade of blue, talking to some of the Lords and Lady’s that have travelled for tonight’s celebration?

Whoever it was, Lucas quickly realized he had no interest being here for much longer. Fancy celebrations and elaborate clothing? That wasn’t really his scene of things. Making sure to give Kes a look across the dance floor, he gestured his head that he would be out on the deserted balcony if they were to need him.

The night air gave him a sense of relief as he walked outside. There were no guards around and nobody seemed to have noticed his getaway. Granted, Lucas did slip out a window he had managed to open and the thick velvet drapes practically hid him already. There was nobody even remotely interested enough to be watching him.

Sitting down on the little stone bench on the balcony, he let his attention focus on the view. In the horizon, he could almost see the entirety of the village. The lanterns that lit up the street made entire place give off a soft glow and Lucas could even see some of the houses warmly lit up. There was a sense of love in his heart, as he thought about how much he loved the village and its people. How much he wanted the best for them and would stop at nothing to get it.

“Didn’t think anyone else would be out here.” A warm chuckle came from behind him and a very startled Lucas turned around.

The stranger who stood behind him was wearing a deep red suit with intricate golden details and a matching masquerade mask that covered the top half of his face. But despite the dimness of the night, Lucas still managed to make out some of the facial features. Soft dark pink lips, almost a muted mauve colour and looked like they felt like the thick velvet curtains. A structured jawline matched the smirk of the stranger’s lips and deep brown eyes seemed to take a liking towards him. Based on the lean bur obviously built structure of the stranger’s body, Lucas quickly figured he couldn’t be any further from his own age.

Lucas also quickly figured out that despite not being able to see the entirety of his face, there was no doubt that a handsome boy was behind the mask.

“I don’t think I expected to find anyone else here either.” Lucas said with a light laugh, trying not to let the sudden nervous feeling overwhelm him.

“Well mind if I join you?” The stranger asked as he pointed to the empty spot beside Lucas.

“Sure.” He replied, surprised him easy that answer had come to him.

Once the stranger sat down, Lucas felt a fuzzy feeling in his chest. While the stranger looked over to the horizon, Lucas took this chance to study him up close, the way his chest moved up and down with his slow relaxed breathing and the way his fingers tapped gently on his leg, like he was playing a melody to a song.

“What brings you out here?” Lucas finally asked, breaking their silence.

“Not too big on the whole ballroom scene.” He replied with a laugh. “I actually didn’t really want to come tonight.”

“Oh really? Me neither to be honest. My friends and I kind of came as a joke but at least they’re having fun.”

“And you aren't?”

Shrugging, he replied with another chuckle. “I mean, it’s not so bad. But I can only watch them dance for so long that I start feeling bad.”

“You don’t dance?”

“I mean I do, I can.” Lucas admitted. “I just don’t have anyone to dance with.”

The stranger stood up and extended his hand to him, as Lucas looked up at him suspiciously. But there was the same smirk on his face, one that seemed very sure and confident it what he was doing.

“Will you dance with me?” The stranger asked. “The music is much quieter but at least out here it is just the two of us.”

Biting his lip, Lucas shyly placed his hand in his. It was a bit larger but the grip he had on his felt safe and secure, like his hold was honest and pure. He followed as he was lead to a little open space, where the moonlight illuminated the both of them.

The other boy placed his hand gently on the dip of Lucas’ back as he extended their hands out. Trying not to let his hand shake, Lucas placed it gently on the stranger’s shoulder, trying to ignore how one, sparks instantly flew this body at the touch and two, his much Lucas was beginning to enjoy his touch.

The two of them quickly began to move in the flow of the music, twirling and spinning under the light of the moon and the shadows of the night. Their bodies seemed to be made for each other, as they moved with such grace that they hardly even seemed like they were two separate people. Lucas could start to feel his heart race at this connection, and based on the smile on the stranger’s lips, he assumed he felt the same. The smile was also beautiful under the kiss of the moon, a sort of radiance that Lucas would find impossible to forget.

“Are you from the village?” Lucas asked, as they continued to dance.

He shook his head. “Not really. I lived elsewhere for many years.”

“Do you come from far away? Do you have a title I must refer to you by?” He didn’t think any other commoners came from the ball, but maybe people of other villages made the trip for the royal night.

A low laugh escaped the lips of the stranger. “That doesn’t matter. Let’s just enjoy this night for what it is. Are you from the village?”

A bit confused by the rather vague answer, Lucas decided just to ignore it. After all, it wasn’t like any connection between them would disappear after tonight. Nothing but a mere memory.

“I am.” He replied with a nod. “Born and raised.”

“Ah, so I take it you know the people and place very well?”

“Like the back of my hand.” Lucas said before he frowned.

“Why do you frown at that?” The boy asked, instantly taking note at the change of behaviour.

“The Royal Family.” He sighed. “They often forget their own people and leave us fending for their scraps. We deserve better than that.”

“And you think you could give them better?”

“No. I am nothing but one of them. I hold no title, no power. But it is in my best interest to try.”

“And would you? If you were given the chance?”

“With my whole heart.”

This answer seemed to please the stranger, as he opened his mouth to speak as though he was admitting a secret. But they were quickly interrupted with a familiar voice shouting out to Lucas.

“Hey!” Kes hollered from behind him. “We have to go. Now! The guards think there are people against the monarchy and we are not going to wait until they find out we can be associated.”

Turning to face the stranger, Lucas quickly released himself from his grip. “I’m sorry I have to go.” He apologized, before turning away and running after Kes.

“Wait!” The stranger called out, grabbing onto the cuff of Lucas’ suit, pulling him in. “How can I find you?”

Scared to give out his name, in case it would ruin his chance at a good alibi and quickly blow his cover, Lucas slipped off his rose quartz ring and placed it gently in his hand.

“Keep this. If you go to the villages’ book shop tomorrow, present this ring to me. Then I will know it is you.” He whispered.

“But-“ The other boy began to say before Lucas cut him off.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized as he began to walk away. “I have to go.”

No matter how much he wanted to, Lucas didn’t look back. He didn’t want to see what he had left behind.

A beautiful night and a beautiful dance with the most beautiful person his heart had come to known.

-

“Rumour has it Prince Jens is coming to town today.” Jayden laughed as Lucas and Kes stacked a new set of books onto the shelves.

“Where did you hear that?” Kes laughed, like that statement was very far from the truth.

“Whole town is talking.” He shrugged. “Rumour also has it that he met someone last night. One of us, which is why he’s coming. To look for them. Can you believe it?”

“No.” Kes laughed again, shaking his head in pure amusement. “To be honest though, nobody seemed to know who he was last night. The whole mask thing seemed to make everyone a stranger.”

“Speaking of strangers,” Jayden noted, gesturing towards Lucas, who was only halfway listening to the conversation. “Who were you dancing with last night?”

Not bothering to turn around to face Jayden and continue shaking the book shelf, Lucas just shrugged.

“I don’t know.” He mumbled. “It doesn’t really matter now though.”

It wasn’t that Lucas didn’t want to admit it happened, but it was that Lucas couldn’t even believe it had happened. The whole night felt something out of a dream, a sequence too good to be true. However, even though he knew it really happened, Lucas didn’t want to think about how it may never happen again.

The book shop’s door suddenly opened, taking all three of them by surprise. The figure quickly closed the door behind him, and it was then Lucas realized all the cheering and hollering coming front outside. Even though Kes and Jayden seemed just as confused at the situation, Jayden got up from the desk he was sitting on and shut the shop’s window shutters in attempt to drown out the noise from the crowd.

Now all three of them states at the figure in front of them. He was tall, lean and built with a strong structure. Although his clothes seemed rather ordinary, a white flowing top and brown pants, he seemed to stand with as though he was of royalty.

“Hi.” The stranger finally spoke, only to lay his deep brown eyes straight towards Lucas. “I’m Jens.”

“Prince Jens?” Kes asked in disbelief.

“Yeah,” He confirmed, still not looking away from Lucas. “Prince Jens.”

For some reason, Lucas found himself speechless. It wasn’t because the literal prince of the kingdom was right of him and he didn’t ever prepare for actually meeting a member of the monarchy, but that there was something eerily familiar about him. The way he stood, the way his words sounded like a harmonious melody, the way his mauve lips turned upwards to a small smile and how his deep brown eyes looked into Lucas’ blue ones, like he was the only one in the room.

Like it was just the two of us. He suddenly thought.

And suddenly, Lucas realized where he knew him from.

Prince Jens was the stranger from last night.

“Your Highness.” Lucas breathed out as he dropped the book from his hands and approached Jens slowly. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean-“

“It’s alright.” Jens answered with a smile. “There are no need for apologies. I only came here to ask for your name.”

“Lucas.” He replied quickly. “Lucas van der Heijden.”

“Well Lucas,” Jens said with a warm smile. “It is a pleasure to see you again.”

“You too.” He breathed out again, still in a state of shock. “May I ask what you’re doing here Your Highness?”

“Please, it’s just Jens.” He assured, stepping a little closer and lowering his voice. “I came looking for you?”

“Me?” Lucas squeaked out.

A laugh escaped Jens’ lips as he let his eyes wander and marvel at the boy in front of him.

“You’re so much more beautiful than I envisioned.” Jens whispered. “I knew you were beautiful from behind the mask, but I never thought one could be as beautiful as you are in front of me.”

“You’re beautiful too.” Lucas softly admitted. “A lot.”

This answer seemed to make Jens beam. “My Lucas, I came here not only to find you but to also tell and ask you of something.”

“Of course. Anything.”

“After speaking with you last night, I finally found clarity in what I plan to do now that I have a say in power. And it is that I am not yet ready or worthy to lead a great nation such is ours.” He explained. “I have decided to set my reign back one more year, in hopes that I can prepare better for it.”

“And what will you do in the mean time?”

“Well, I plan to be more connected with the people, especially those of this village who live so close to the kingdom. And I would like you to help me with that, to teach me the ways of life here.”

“Me?” Lucas squeaked out again.

“Yes, you.” Jens nodded. “All my life, I have been taught how to be a King, to rule and to lead. Bur anyone can be taught the legalities of ruling, the mechanics and principles to lead with power.” He looked at Lucas gently. “But not everyone can be taught to lead with their heart.”

“Are you sure I’m the right one to help you with this?”

“You are the right one for me.” Jens assured.

“What would I have to do?”

“Well every day, you would show me what should be done better. What needs change and reform. How better we can distribute the wealth. You can show me what you people treasure most, what we should pay more attention to and what we should aid to.”

“How do I know your words are true?”

Jens smiled. “Because, every night, when we are done learning about the people, I would like to learn about you. Who you are, where you came from and where you want to go.” Pulling his hand out of his pocket, Jens held up a dainty rose quartz ring that glistened in light of the shop. “And if you would like to dance with me, under the moonlight. Just the two of us.”

Even before seeing the ring, Lucas knew deep in his heart that Jens’ words were true. Stepping forward, leaving only a few inches between them, Lucas nodded.

“Okay,” He decided. “When do we start?”

“Whenever you finish putting those books on the shelves.”

“Oh.” Lucas snorted. “That’s easy.” Turning his head around, he hollered at Kes, who had been watching the whole interaction happen in front of him as he leaned against the book shelves. “Kes! Finish up for me okay?”

Rolling his eyes, Kes huffed some air out of his mouth. “Whatever happened to fuck the government huh?” He teased playfully.

Grinning, Jens winked at all of them, but mostly at Lucas as he confidently flicked his thumb and Lucas’ hands quickly caught the ring with ease.

“Don’t worry.” Jens assured. “I’m sure we can still make that happen.”

Like The Back of My Hand.

a vds one shot. you can find more on my ao3.

( @ apolloswords )

feel free to comment/message me any suggestions for one shot ideas!

Jens visits Lucas and his newly broken hand, even if it means playing a game of risks and rewards.

When Jens had finally climbed through the window of Lucas’ bedroom, he tried his best to stifle his laugh. But even as hard as he bit his lip, his face broke into a smile and Lucas stayed there, sat on his bed as he looked at him- clearly very unamused.

“Don’t laugh.” He frowned, which only made Jens let out a little chuckle.

Walking over to his bed, he threw his body down on it and greeted his friend with a bright smile. Lucas only wrinkled his nose and furrowed his brows at him, knowing Jens was very intrigued by the entire situation.

“I’m not laughing.” He finally said, even though a little chuckle did escape him.

“Yes you are.” Lucas pouted before flopping his back down on his pillows.

Leaning up a bit, Jens poked at the cast on Lucas’ arm teasingly. “I’m not laughing.” He said again, even though his lips were turned up into a wide smirk.

“Yes you are.” Lucas groaned as he dramatically covered his face with a pillow. “You like seeing me in pain.”

“I thought you weren’t in pain anymore? That’s why they released you from the hospital.”

He shook his head. “There’s still some pain. More than last time I broke it.”

Getting up from his bed, Jens gestured around his room. “Where’s your pain medications?”

“The only drug I need is you baby.” Lucas replied with a weary smile on his face and Jens felt his heart skip a beat. He didn’t need his best friend to suspect his rather unrequited crush.

Trying to ignore the way his body warmed up to the term, “baby”, Jens hoped the warm flush on his face from a slight blush wouldn’t give him away. Putting a hand to his heart as he tilted his head back, he sighed dramatically. “That’s sweet of you. But where are your medications?”

“Top row of my bookshelf.” He heard Lucas mumble.

Without even needing to tiptoe, Jens grabbed the small bottle of pills and tossed it to him. He should’ve thought it through first, since Lucas only really had one working hand. Instead of catching it like he had intended, it fell on Lucas’ lap. Staring blankly at Jens, he realized there was a low chance he could open up the bottle with only one hand.

Trying not to think about his hand brushing against Lucas’ thigh, Jens diverted eye contact as he tried to quickly pick up the bottle from his lap. He didn’t think Lucas felt rather awkward with the whole thing, since they were just friends.

Popping the cap open, Jens gave Lucas a small pill and he popped it in his mouth before leaning over on his desk to take a sip of water. Jens gently flopped down on the bed again, this time, beside Lucas as he made himself comfortable against the abundance of pillows.

“How’d you break your hand anyway?” He asked. “What’s your excuse this time?”

Laughing, he shook his head, recalling the incident. “Something stupid.” Lucas shrugged as he let out a light chuckle. “Same thing as last time. Got on a skateboard and tried to do a trick under Jayden’s supervision.”

Snorting, Jens shook his head. “Well that’s the last time you do anything under Jayden’s supervision.”

“Yep, at least for a long time.” Looking at Jens, he raised a brow. “You want to do me a favour?”

“Sure. Anything.”

“Would you paint my nails for me?”

Smiling at Lucas’ shyness, he rolled his eyes playfully. “You know I can barley even write my name neatly.”

“Please?” Lucas sweetly asked, even pouting his lip for dramatics.

After all, it wasn’t like he could do much with a broken hand.

Rolling his eyes again, Jens sighed but couldn’t cover the smile growing on his face. “Okay fine,” He said, giving in. “What colour would you like?”

-

Biting his tongue, Jens tried his hardest to paint the last coat on Lucas’ nails. He had switched positions now, moving away from his stretched out position on the pillows beside Lucas to sitting with his legs crossed in front of him. The bright pink polish on his nails seemed to liven up the room against the darkness of the rain from outside, gently tapping on the windowsill. It was a good thing he had came earlier, or else climbing though the window on the slippery rooftop would probably result in him breaking his own arm.

Lucas’ hand, the one without a cast, was delicate in his. Long slender fingers decorated with rings, sometimes very detailed extravagant ones or a simple silver band that he liked to twist and play with when he felt fidgety. Lucas always had pretty hands, Jens realized. And when he started wearing nail polish on them, he realized they were even prettier.

Even though it wasn’t like he was actually holding Lucas hand, Jens thought about the way it felt against his own. Soft, smooth and dainty, like they were paintbrushes that sat in the sun, waiting to be picked up to create art. Jens’ fingers were mostly calloused after long hours on the guitar. He sometimes wondered if Lucas ever felt the details of his hand against his own, wondering how it felt to just freely place his hand in his whenever he wanted. Jens would like that. Seeing his fingers intertwined with rings and nail polish, it was like holding a piece of art in the palm of his hand.

“What were you doing yesterday?” Lucas asked, as Jens capped the bottle of polish, pushing away his thoughts towards the back of his head.

Pretending to act dumb, Jens shrugged. “Nothing. What do you mean?”

“Well you avoided coming to the skatepark with me and Jayden in the first place. And then you didn’t answer the phone the entire time I was in the emergency room.” He explained, studying the way he seemed so hesitant to answer. “So where were you?”

Looking away, Jens let out a puff of air to buy him some time. He wasn’t a bad liar by any means, but it was always much harder for him to lie to Lucas. Sometimes he thought that Lucas knew him better than he did, which is why he was so paranoid his feelings for him would eventually be exposed. Lucas knew him like he was the back of his hand.

Still not taking his eyes off of him, Jens huffed. “Fine, you win. I had a date.”

“You had a date?” Lucas exclaimed. He couldn’t mistake the way his heart panged. The rather excited reaction he got definitely confirmed Lucas could care less about who Jens got involved with, meaning he most likely, most definitely did not have feelings for him.

“Yeah, I had a date.” He repeated. Playing with the bottle of polish in his hands, he avoided Lucas’ curious eyes. “We were just at some cafe.”

“Oh really? Well how’d it go?”

“Okay I guess.” Shrugging, he lifted his head up. “I mean it wasn’t the worst date.”

“But?” Lucas moved his arms a bit, gesturing for Jens to continue.

“It was really fucking boring.” He admitted. “Like, not because I was the only one making conversation but everything I had to listen to was just dreadful and I just didn’t care for.”

“Maybe you’re just a really bad date.”

Laughing, Jens teased him back. “Well you wouldn’t really know. You haven’t went on a date with me.”

Lucas smiled at himself while he didn’t give Jens a response. There was a hint of hope in his chest, something that made him think that maybe Lucas did have reciprocated feelings. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but he hoped the little smile on his face held the same secret the small smile on his own face held.

“So who was it?” Lucas finally asked, looking at Jens curiously.

He tried to search his eyes, for maybe just a glimpse of hurt of envy within their beautiful blue colour. It was the first thing he had noticed about Lucas upon meeting him as the new kid a few years ago, and it was the last thing he always made sure to look at before they ever parted ways.

“Jana had this friend who she wanted to set me up with.” He finally said. “Her name was like Maya or something.”

Snorting, Lucas looked at him teasingly. “Another friend of an ex? What? Is your type best friends or something?”

If only you knew. Jens thought to himself.

Clearing his throat, Jens scratched his jaw as he tried to think of some sort of response. Lucas squinted his eyes a bit, watching Jens suspiciously. He wasn’t sure why he was being looked at like this, like he was being studied, but rising up more questions might only make it more obvious that he was hiding something.

Before he could be the one to make a reply, Lucas brought his hands, well, hand and cast, up to his face. Jens knew this look. It was the look that signalled Lucas had an idea that just had to be executed. This idea could easily go i two ways.

One, a success. As crazy as the idea was, it would wound up actually working even at the very last second. Trusting the process was key here.

Or two, a horrible fail. Probably even worse than just a fail. There would be no coming back from this. It would probably only create a deeper hole than the one they started with and having to crawl out of it would be their own mission impossible.

Deciding just to bite the bullet and give in, Jens sighed. “What is it?”

“We make you an online dating profile.”

“We make me an online dating profile?” Jens gawked in disbelief.

“We make you an online dating profile.” Lucas repeated, the corners of his mouth lifting up into a mischievous grin.

“Why would I need one of those?”

“Well, there’s many dating apps and sites you could easily go on.” Lucas explained, making gestures with his hands. While it was a very Lucas trait, it did look kind of funny with the thick blue cast on his arm. “And then you could meet a bunch of people, talk to them and then set up some dates! They would be people you don’t know yet.”

But that was the thing. Jens didn’t need someone he didn’t know yet. The someone he wanted he already knew, like the back of his hand. And he was right in front of him, broken arm and all. He wished he could just risk it all. To admit to Lucas’ face that he was in love with him.

He knew he couldn’t. If he did, he knew an even bigger risk would follow. And that was loosing Lucas entirely. Jens would rather have Lucas for what they were now instead of having no Lucas at all.

“I don’t know.” He said, scratching the back of his neck as he hesitated. “That doesn’t really align with my morals.

“What morals?”

“Fair point.”

Rolling his eyes, Lucas placed a hand on top of Jens’, as he tried not to freeze up at the touch.

“Look,” He said softly. “I know people think dating apps mean you’ve hit a level of desperate, but that’s not true. A lot of people use dating apps.”

“Have you?”

“I have.” He admitted. “A long time ago, like when I was still in the closet and stuff.”

“How did it go?”

“Well I met some new people. People with the same hesitations and speculations I had. And some who felt like they would never make a connection finally did.”

“And what happened with all of that?”

He shrugged. “Not much. I only really used it because like I said, I was closeted. But then after I accepted who I was, I kind of deleted all of them.”

“Well then why should I get it?”

“To maybe broaden your horizons? So you don’t keep up with your track record of dating the best friend?” Lucas replied, in a matter-of-factly tone.

“You have a point.” He mumbled under his breath, not looking at Lucas. He didn’t need to see the smug look on his face, knowing he had won.

Digging into his back pocket, Jens pulled out his phone and handed it to Lucas. If it was any other time where Jens didn’t pity to boy and his cast, he would’ve tossed the phone and just pray Lucas had some athleticism to catch it.

Taking the phone form Jens, Lucas expertly unlocked it and began messing around on it. Jens wasn’t exactly sure what he was doing, but he could only guess he was downloading an abundance of dating apps and beginning to create profiles on them. He had to trust Lucas wouldn’t make a joke out of him and choose rather horrendous photos of him for the whole city to see.

But it didn’t really matter if he did. Jens didn’t have much interest or care to appeal to anyone else. He probably wouldn’t even open any of the apps unless he found himself awake at night hand procrastinating sleep. It wasn’t that he felt like he was above or better than online dating, he just had no desire to really commit to the whole bit. Lucas was probably just bored and needed some entertainment.

There was only so much he could do with a broken hand.

After a few more minutes, Lucas proudly held the phone up and waved it in Jens’ face.

“Check it out, I got it all set up for you.”

Taking the phone, Jens scrolled through the profile. Some of the photos were random selfies, while others were candid photos of him. It took him a bit, but he realized something similar within all the candid shots. They had been taken whenever he was with Lucas, even when Lucas wasn’t in the frame. There was one of him taken on a swing set, when Lucas had cracked up a joke and another take at the skatepark, when Jens had watched Lucas and Jayden try to pull off a competition. One photo even had Jens looking off towards someone beside him, as though he was listening intently to what they were saying. And he was. It was when their friend group had went out for breakfast and Lucas was rambling on about the night before.

He realized that the photos Lucas thought he looked best in, were all reactions and expressions he found himself doing whenever he was around. Jens wondered if Lucas had done this on purpose, or was simply clueless at the coincidence. It wasn’t like any of the photos had any evidence of Lucas being around anyway. Jens only knew they did because he held onto those fond memories.

“Jens? Are you okay?” Lucas asked, his voice soft and gentle.

Shaking his head, he scratched his chin as he thought up another excuse. Luckily, there seemed to be a notification right beside to messaging icon. He figured that would probably peak Lucas’ interest.

“Nothing.” He lied, before flipping the phone screen around to show Lucas. “I just got a message.”

“Oh my god let me see!” He exclaimed as he quickly grabbed the phone from Jens’ hand.

Panicking that Lucas was going to message the person back, Jens had to stop him before all hell broke loose. Without really thinking it through, he pushed his body forward and lunged forward to grab the phone.

Instead of successfully taking the phone back, Lucas had raised his hand up just as Jens thought he had it in his grasp. Due to the rather quick reflex, that Jens didn’t even know Lucas had, he felt himself fall and land on his chest.

Only, he didn’t just land on his own chest.

Right beneath him was Lucas’.

Luckily, not on the broken hand.

Their faces were dangerously close, only inches apart. Jens could make out the way Lucas’ eyes were becoming a mess of blue shades, some dark while others were bright. He didn’t look alarmed, but rather surprised at the sudden action Jens had taken. He gulped as Jens noticed how close their lips were. He could feel his mouth slightly open, lightly panting as he tried to catch his breath and calm down the adrenaline in his body and racing of his heart. Jens tried to focus on Lucas’s body, the way his chest tighten from underneath him, as if he was holding his breath.

Waiting.

Jens figured the idea in his head could go in two ways.

One, a success. As crazy as the idea was, it would wound up actually working even at the very last second. Trusting the process was key here.

Or two, a horrible fail. Probably even worse than just a fail. There would be no coming back from this. It would probably only create a deeper hole than the one they started with and having to crawl out of it would be their own mission impossible.

But he also figured, he was willing to take the risk.

Without trying to pay attention to the second thoughts racking through his brain, Jens pushed himself further and placed his hands on the side of Lucas’ face before pulling him in closer. Soon enough, their lips had connected and they were kissing each other.

He was finally kissing Lucas.

Jens felt his phone drop onto the pillows beside him, feeling it slide down somewhere on the bed. Lucas wrapped his arms, well, arm and cast, around his neck and pulled him in a little closer to deepen the kiss. Jens felt a smile against his lips, and at this point, he wasn’t sure which one of them it was coming from.

But he didn’t need to look at Lucas to know there was most definitely a smile on his face.

Because Jens knew him like he was the back of his hand.

When the pulled apart, lips red and swollen from the kissing, they both had hitched breathing and tried to force it to come to a slow. Jens searched Lucas’ eyes, trying to find a hint of doubt or regret.

They were only brighter than ever.

“I’m sorry.” He suddenly apologized, quickly getting off of him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to kiss you. I, I can go.”

He quickly got up, about to head out the window when he felt a hand reach out for his and pull him back.

“No.” Lucas said in a small voice. “Don’t go. Don’t be sorry.”

“I don’t want to ruin anything. We can pretend it never happened.”

A small smile formed on Lucas lips, the ones Jens had just kissed a minute ago. “But then I would have to keep waiting for you to finally kiss me.”

“You wanted me to kiss you?” Jens asked in disbelief, sitting back down. “I’ve been wanting to kiss you for so long.”

“And I’ve been wanting to be kissed by you for so long.” Lucas lightly laughed, placing the hand with the cast on his shoulder, pulling him in closer. The material of the cast was scratchy against his cheek, but Jens found himself smiling widely at the situation.

“Well I guess those dating apps didn’t really broaden my horizons.” He teased, snuggling in closer to him.

Lucas snorted. “Thanks for letting me waste minutes of my life I’ll never get back.”

“Oh it’s okay.” Jens said, patting his thigh assuringly. “I think you’ll have more fun deleting some those profiles and apps now.”

“You have a point.” He giggled. “You know, I knew you as a crush on me for awhile.”

“What?” He asked in shock, almost pulling away from him until Lucas tugged on his shirt to pull him back. “How did you know that?”

“You have a tell.” Lucas explained. “You scratch your chin whenever you want to hide the fact you have a crush on someone. And you’ve been doing it lately around our friends and then a little bit more with me. I thought I was just hoping your crush was on me. And then today finally confirmed that.”

“Oh man,” Jens chuckled as he took Lucas’ non-broken hand and brought it up to his lips. He kissed his knuckles gently, as he watched Lucas’ face turn a bright shade of blush. “You know me way too well.”

“Almost like the back of your hand.” Lucas said with a smile, before leaning in closer to fill the space between them.

“Like the back of my hand.” He whispered back, repeating the words as his lips brushed against Lucas’, before they closed the last few centimetres between them for another kiss.

One In Seven Billion.

a vds one shot. you can find more on my ao3.

( @ apolloswords )

feel free to comment/message me any suggestions for one shot ideas!

A soulmate au where everyone is born with the mark of where they first touch their soulmate. Everyone, except for one.

Everyone was born with a soulmate. A person who was an extension of your own being, representing someone you had no matter what life or universe you existed in. Everyone was born with a soulmate.

Everyone was born with the touch of a soulmate. A mark, the same colour of plush lips after being kissed endlessly, a burning passion of admiration and a declaration of love for the far and near. Everyone was born with a mark, symbolizing the first place your soulmate would touch you. However, this mark didn’t appear until one turned sixteen, where they would wake up one day, look in the mirror and figure out the endless possibilities they would soon be meeting their soulmate. And then when their soulmate was to finally touch them for the first time, a soft warm glow would appear. It was both like the light of a candle and the brightness of the sun in one touch.

Everyone had a mark of a soulmate’s touch.

Everyone, except Lucas.

It wasn’t like everyone’s mark was visible. Some were on their chests, thighs or the dips of their backs. These could easily be hidden but everyday clothing and nobody would ever know where their mark was. But Lucas simply didn’t have a mark. And when he had turned sixteen, he tried to look for all the possible reasons. Maybe his parents had messed up his birthday. Maybe he would get it a bit later, some people did. Maybe he couldn’t see it in the mirror and it was on his shoulder blades or back of his neck. But after trying so hard to even find the touch of a mere fingertip, he realized he was one in the seven billion people with no mark.

With no soulmate.

It was a hard thing to accept. To go your whole life knowing that there was nobody there for you. Nobody who was searching for your soul to complete theirs. There was simply nobody for Lucas. And as he went on life watching his friends cozy up beside the one who had touched them with the warm glow, his heart felt colder and colder each time.

So eventually, he gave up and refused to believe love even existed in the first place. What was the point of it anyway? People avoided anyone who wasn’t their soulmate and only fell for those who were. Is it really love if one only feels obligated to feel that way?

Nothing in Lucas’ heart or mind seemed to prove otherwise. So after two years of trying to deal with the loneliness, he figured the whole thing was a hoax and some dumb fairytale. Surely there had to be someone without a mark either. Maybe they would be his soulmate.

“You’re being pessimistic.” Kes once told him.

Lucas didn’t tell much people about it and certainly not his parents. They didn’t need to think there was something else “wrong” with how he was “created”. They were already paranoid enough when they found out bipolar disorder could be genetic.

“Well what else am I supposed to be?” He said with a huff.

Kes shrugged. “Hopeful.”

“Please Kes.” He rolled his eyes. “You knew your soulmate right away. I won’t.”

The night after Kes had turned sixteen, his mark appeared and he excitedly showed Lucas. Since he was older by a few months, he hoped his mark would show up and match his. But it didn’t. In fact it never came. And a few months later, he was very sure that Kes wasn’t his to begin with. He recalled that moment. Even while he knew Kes would never be his, that didn’t meant he didn’t stop having feelings for him. But it was very much like loving someone from afar. Kes had nudged nudged Isa with his elbow at her sixteenth birthday party. It was a gesture he did often, but this time was different. Upon his elbow even brushing against the back started up the warm glow between them. Their eyes looked at each other in surprise, but the smile on their lips seemed assuring, like they had expected this.

But just because Kes’ moment was practically perfect, that didn’t mean they didn’t have their own troubles. The whole mark of a soulmate didn’t always mean a perfect relationship. Though it was never abusive, there were certainly ups and downs presented. And when Lucas witnessed that from Kes and Isa, once again, from afar, he realized that maybe the whole thing wasn’t worth it.

Yet, that didn’t stop him from feeling the rather lonesome pain from knowing there was no love for him in this universe.

“Jayden?” Lucas then asked, grabbing the attention of the other boy in his room. “Do you have a soulmate?”

“Well I have the mark.” Jayden answered as he exhaled the smoke from the joint. “But I haven’t met them yet.”

“I’m surprised your fingertips haven’t glowed whenever you touch weed.” Kes teased as he was offered a hit.

Jayden snorted. “If that were the case maybe I’d be married by now.”

Kes offered the joint to Lucas, and he shook his head at it. Both of them looked at Lucas in shock, as if he had just turned down the equivalent to a million dollars.

“What? Are you not smoking before the party?” Kes huffed with a laugh.

He shook his head. “Nah, not tonight.”

“Did you give up weed in the last few days or am I missing something?” Jayden added.

“Didn’t give up.” He replied with a a shrug. “I just feel like drinking tonight and I don’t really want to get cross faded either.”

A few snickers escapes the boys in front of them, and based on the context of the situation, it wasn’t solely from the effects of being high. Lucas narrowed his brows at them in confusion.

“What’s so funny?”

“You and alcohol?” Jayden snorted. “Not a good combo.”

“It’s like watching a wrestling match.” Kes laughed. “And you’re never winning.”

Rolling his eyes, Lucas scoffed at them. “I’m not that bad.”

“Well you’re certainly not good.” Kes teased. “I didn’t think there was someone out there who was the worst when wasted after Isa. But then you got absolutely shit faced at her sixteenth birthday and I was wrong.”

Right, Lucas thought to himself. Isa’s sixteenth birthday party. The sixteenth birthday party.

“Besides,” Jayden shrugged as he took another hit from the joint. “You can’t hold in your liquor.”

“Yes I can.” He defended.

“No you can’t.” Jayden laughed. “You always end up throwing it all back up later in the night. And it’s never a pretty sight.”

“Well this night is going to be different.” He muttered.

-

By the time Kes and Jayden were high enough and Lucas had pregamed just a little, the party had taken over the house and was livelier than expected. Lucas and Kes looked over at Jayden, wondering how he even knew of this party. Jayden had explained that Noah and his new friend Sander from his art school and Belgium had decided to throw a party for the end of the school year. Most people they knew were going to be there, especially Liv and the other girls. And they knew Noah decently enough so maybe they weren’t so out of place.

Upon entering the house, the bass of the music and cheers of people echoed loudly throughout the house and Lucas figured there was not one room that wasn’t being occupied. His hair was in his face, long curls he had been growing out for a couple of months now, and it was hard to make much within the darker lighting. He relied heavily on the motion of Kes and Jayden moving along, walking under the vibrant party lights that provided some guidance.

Most people at the party were heavily intoxicated. And while the three of them weren’t exactly sober, they still had way more comprehension and awareness of their surroundings. Lucas could already spot Isa in the corner of the room, hanging off of Liv who was talking to a girl with short blonde hair and one in a dark green hijab. He didn’t seem to know who they were, and figured they must be some of the Belgian kids that this Sander knew of.

“I’m going to head off to the kitchen.” Lucas whispered lowly to Kes and Jayden. “You can meet Isa and them without me, I’ll catch up.”

“Sounds good.” Kes replied as Jayden gave him a thumbs up.

Even though the house was unfamiliar, only having been here maybe once or twice, he quickly navigated his way to the kitchen. From there, he spotted Ralph near the kitchen island, hosting what seemed to be a makeshift bar. There was another guy beside him, about his height, a collared pink shirt and light brown hair.

“Hey.” He greeted Ralph, while politely nodding at the other guy.

“Lucas!” Ralph exclaimed, walking away from behind the counter and placing his hands on the sides of his face. He felt Ralph kiss the top of his head and the smell of alcohol wafted over him, indicating that Ralph was definitely not sober.

He stepped back with his wide grin and gestured toward the other guy, who waved at him. “Lucas,” Ralph began to explain. “This is Milan, he’s from Belgium. Milan, this is Lucas!”

“Nice to meet you.” Lucas said politely.

“It’s nice to meet you too.” Milan said back. He gestured to Lucas’ hair and grinned. “You have lovely hair, it’s so long and the curls are so softly done. What do you do to it?”

“Oh uhm,” Lucas patted his hair and shyly smiled at the compliment. “Nothing really. I just kind of started to grow it out.”

“He’s truly blessed with being pretty.” Ralph told Milan, before grabbing onto Lucas’ shoulders snd shaking him. “Luc, you will not believe what happened to me! I found my soulmate! We met a few days ago!”

Even though he was more than happy for his friend, there was no mistaking the way he felt his stomach do a flip. He was happy for Ralph, he really was. They had spent hours together looking at Ralph’s dating apps, trying to figure out which one matched the birthmark on his forearm. It felt good to know that the search was over.

“That’s great.” He said, hoping his tone sounded sincere and genuine enough.

It didn’t seem to come off like that, because suddenly Ralph’s face fell and he was squeezing Lucas’s arms.

“Oh I’m sorry Luc, I forgot you didn’t have a mark. I don’t mean to rub this in your face.” He apologized.

“He doesn’t have a mark?” Milan said in surprise.

“Uh, no.” Lucas replied, swallowing hard. “But it’s okay, I’m fine.” That was a lie and the three of them knew it. He turned to face Ralph and mustered a smile. “But I’m happy for you, I really am.”

“Awe, thank you Luc.” Ralph said, patting his face gently. “I’m sure you have someone out there for you. But for now, can Milan and I fix you a drink?”

“Yes please.” He said. “And I’ll probably need a lot.”

-

Lucas felt terrible.

That was an understatement. Lucas felt sick to his stomach and he wanted nothing more but to crawl under some covers and stay there until the noise around him wasn’t so loud. And until he didn’t feel so nauseous and uneasy.

Jayden was right. He couldn’t handle his liquor. At all. By the time in the night, he had lost track of how much he’d had to drink but it was surely way too much. There was no way he was going to tell Kes and Jayden either. He would choose another time to deal with their “I told you so” and relentless annoying teasing.

His feet managed to carry him to the second floor of the house and the second he reached the top of the stairs, he felt a little better. It wasn’t that crowded and there was room for him to take some slow deep breaths. But that didn’t mean he still didn’t feel terrible. Before he could throw up everywhere, Lucas ran around trying to find a bathroom.

The first two doors he tried were locked and he heard a few annoyed reactions from the other side. When he pushed on the third door, it swung open and revealed an empty bathroom.

Or what he assumed was empty.

The smell of weed hit him as he took in the boy sitting on top of the second. The lights were off and Lucas could hardly make most of his features, aside from the tall built frame of his body and the silhouette of a few hair strands falling in front of his face. Due to his impaired vision from all the drinking, Lucas turned on the light.

And realized how beautiful the boy in front of him looked.

For a second, they looked at each other. There was something so knowing in the other boy’s deep brown eyes. Like Lucas had seen them before but not in real life. Like a dream or a past memory. But he knew that he once knew them. Lucas couldn’t help but hold his breath, taking in the boy’s golden tan skin, high cheekbones and defined jawline, with a silver hoop earring that twinkled when he looked closer. The boy was without a doubt, so easily to fall in love with.

It made Lucas feel hopeful.

But the sick feeling came to him again and he hated what he was about to do next.

“I’m sorry.” He breathed out, his voice static as he panted. “I’m going to throw up.”

“Fuck.” The other boy said worriedly under his breath.

Rushing over to the toilet, Lucas fell to his knees. Soon enough, the alcohol finally caught up to him and once again, he had lost this round. It was probably really embarrassing for him to be throwing up in front of a potential crush, but he would have to face that music later.

As Lucas began to continue hurling, his body felt a bit lighter and a little less sick. He began to feel more of his surroundings, like the cold tiles against his knees and the way his hair was hanging in his face. There was no way he was going to be a pretty sight after this.

But then Lucas felt something else.

A warm glow.

It was right on the top of his head, where a bunch of his curls laid messily about. Lucas could feel fingers stroking through them, eventually pulling the hair out of his face and being held back.

At first he thought that maybe it was only coming from the gesture itself. That maybe his body reacted warmly to the assuring touch. But even in his delirious state, Lucas knew it was much more than that.

He could feel the glow everywhere in his body, from the top of his head and the tip of his toes. Flashes of past lives seem to run through his mind in a whimsical swirl, colours and expressions of happiness and love spinning through him that he almost felt dizzy. And each time he could make something out of the colourful mess, only deep brown eyes appeared, looking at him with the same knowing look that Lucas had seen a few moments ago.

Finally, when Lucas figured all the contents in his stomach were gone, he got up and splashed some cold water in his face. His body felt tired as he hopped up on the countertop, where the boy once was.The boy followed and jumped up as well, since the countertop was big enough for the both of them. He waited quietly until Lucas caught his breath and finally mustered the courage to look at him.

“Sorry.” He murmured. “That probably wasn’t the best first impression.”

The corner of the boy’s dark pink lips turned up into a smile. “It was memorable though.”

The both of them sat in silence for a bit, not really knowing where to go from here. They had just met- what were you supposed to do with a person you just met? Let alone the soulmate you had just met. It wasn’t until Lucas noticed the boy playing with his hand, more specifically the one with all the marks.

Lucas had never seen marks like these. They were all over his fingertips and palm of his hand, like a map of the world. They appeared in his left hand, and that was when Lucas realized that was the hand that first touched him.

The boy snorted as he continued to look at his hands. “You know, I thought it was pretty unfortunate my soulmate mark was on my hand.”

Looking at him confused, Lucas replied. “Isn’t the hand the most common place to first touch someone?”

“Well that’s why I hated it.” He smiled to himself. “It’s the easiest way to touch someone and when people see it, they always think that something could happen the second I touch them. Even if it’s a stranger at a coffee shop handing me my coffee. It’s so simple and so obvious.”

“That’s probably better than me though.” Lucas shrugged. “I didn’t even think I had a mark.”

“What do you mean?”

“I never saw my mark. And then I thought I was a late bloomer and even after a few weeks, it never came. So I started believing I just never had one.”

Reaching over, the boy took his left hand and brushed some curls out of Lucas’ face. He felt the familiar fuzzy feeling spark though his body at the touch, as the boy smiled admiringly at him.

“It was just under your mess of curls.” He said lightly, and Lucas felt like his voiced was dipped in warm honey.

“I’m Lucas.” He said, reaching out to shake his hand. “I’m your soulmate.”

Smiling, the boy dropped his hand from Lucas’ hair and shook it. “I’m Jens.” He squeezed Lucas’ hand and a soft glow seemed to emit from their held hands. “And I’m your soulmate.”

And with that, Lucas finally understood what it meant to have someone meant for you. Someone he would soon see as an extension of himself, someone who made him better and who made him feel like he had the world in his hands. Someone who was his, in every lifetime and in every universe. Someone who indeed, was his soulmate.

He had finally found his one in seven billion.

vds my beloved, come back to me :(

alternate universe - rockstar! jens meets lucas

in the events of a summer tour with the rest of his band, jens stoffels feels like he needs a break from the music. but upon meeting a beautiful blue eyed boy one night at the hotel bar, he begins to remember why he ever started making music in the first place. knowing that he has to keep this new love affair under the radar to avoid attention from the fans, jens has to make sure lucas doesn’t find out who he really is.

but little does jens know that lucas is also making sure he doesn’t find out who he really is.

(fic coming soon!)

The Hoodie Is Red And The Jacket Is Blue.

a vds one shot. you can find more on my ao3.

( @ apolloswords )

feel free to comment/message me any suggestions for one shot ideas!

When Lucas moves away to Utrecht for a year, he decides to keep in contact with Jens through the writing of letters.

This one shot is based off the exchange of letters within the novel "Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe" by Benjamin Alire Saenz. Jens is loosely based off of the character Aristotle Mendoza while Lucas is loosely based off of the character Dante Quintana.

P.S. It's also one of my favourite books - read it if you ever get the chance! :)

Dear Jens,

I'm writing this on the train ride to Utrecht. My father thinks I'm rather theatrical for not going on the drive with him as he moves all my belongings across the border, but I think I am being completely rational. Okay, maybe I am neither theatrical (my father had other choices of words to describe me) nor am I rational. But it feels weird to watch the distance between us in the inner workings of the moving truck my father rented. It's rickety, doesn't always drive straight and well, leaves me in a confined space with well, you already know who.

Anyway, the train ride is neat. Good scenery, I have my sketchbook open with me as well. My father did manage to get me a first class train ticket, so the leg room is wider and I get complimentary drinks and snacks to keep me company. I know you're laughing. Stop laughing. I mean it. I know, the leg room is rather ironic. I get it. Jens, I'm serious, quit laughing. Maybe you should be here. Maybe all this extra space for my legs should have been for yours. Not all of us can be lanky giraffes.

I think Utrecht will be nice. My father says there are some neighbours with kids my age. Ha, kids. What a weird way to describe me. As if I'm not graduating next year. As if I couldn't have just moved in with you or something for a year. Maybe my father was right in using the word theatrical.

Lucas

-

Lucas,

There are two things you're right about. One, the use of the word "theatrical" to describe yourself. In the years I have known you, I think your father may actually have been right this time around. What? I know that look. There's a first time for everything. Second, I wasn't laughing. What? You know this look? It's my lying face? Well, it's not like you can do anything about it all the way in Utrecht.

School starts tomorrow. Last first day. I keep thinking about how things will be different. University applications, graduation and graduating traditions. And it won't be with you. How the hell am I going to pass math now?

I think you were also right about a third thing. We aren't kids anymore. Our summer as boys had been far too short.

Jens

-

Dear Jens,

Oh, how I have missed your pessimism. Has the rain cloud over your head stopped its downfall? Cheer up Jens, summer will come soon enough. By the way, it feels rather new to hear everyone speak in Nederlands Dutch. I thought Milan prepared me for this but now it is like speaking to many Milans and not just one.

I met my neighbours. But my father was wrong (does that surprise either of us?). There is only one "kid". I say that loosely, because this kid has a full grown facial hair. Not a lot, but enough to make him look way more than just a kid. And I guess there isn't just one kid. He has many siblings, three I think. But I'm betting my father chose this "kid" because he's in my year. Oh yeah, his name is Kes by the way.

On the first day of school, Kes walked with me, on his skateboard. I must say Jens, it is quite weird to see a version of you here. But don't worry, he's not all like you. He's much cooler. Don't give me that look. You know I'm only joking. Have you grown to miss my sarcasm? Anyway, school. It's fine, normal place. But it is weird without you. I'll have less math homework to do.

Sorry it took me so long to write back. I got your letter awhile ago. I couldn't figure out where my mail was being sent. Turns out it was just in my flat's lobby. And to think I took a bus all over the city to find a postal office.

Lucas

-

Lucas,

I had wondered if you left me hanging. And then after reading your sarcasm, this comparison of myself and this Kes character and all this Dutch talk, I realized that maybe I could've done without a response. That was a joke. See? Little pessimistic Jens and his rain cloud know how to tell a joke.

Well at least your life sounds exciting. Mine hasn't been. Everything is pretty much the exact same. Robbe is still in love with Sander. Aaron can't keep his eyes (or hands) off Amber. Moyo well, Moyo and I have been smoking a lot of weed. Probably not the Dutch amount and definitely not the Dutch strain. But there isn't much to report on my life.

I think it was more exciting with you in it.

Jens

-

Dear Jens,

Have you ever wondered how the universe worked? I have. A lot. My room in the flat has this window nook, so I spend a lot of time looking out of it and the people who walk by. I used to want to draw whatever I saw, but then I realized how much I only ever draw about my life. My world. But with each passerby, I realize that so many lives and worlds exist outside of our own. And then I wonder, how many worlds exist within the realm of our universe? And not just people, because that is an easily estimated seven billion. But how many planets we have yet to discover, stars that have yet to be born and asteroids that have yet to just pass Earth, making us the lucky ones.

I've realized how small we are as opposed to the infinite realm of possibilities and things so much bigger than us. Do you believe in parallel universes? My friend Liv spoke about them once. She told us that in these universes, every possible outcome that could've happened in our life occurs in them. Maybe you choose to wear a blue shirt instead of a red one the day that girl with blue eyes and light hair notices you in the cafe window as she crosses the street. Everything is about the exact same way, but maybe the curtains are a different colour. Or maybe you do wear the red shirt and instead, a girl with dark eyes and dark hair notices you instead. Maybe you actually pass math. But there's something that stays the same in each one. Your soulmate.

A soulmate. What a deep thing to conceptualize. Both the universe you find within the person and the universe you find the person in. But do you ever wonder what it would be like to never find your universe? To go along life as the rest of these parallel versions of yourselves do and you're the only one who never finds their soulmate? What a lonely universe that must be.

The whole idea has been plaguing me for awhile. I wish I understood more of what Liv had told us. Too bad I was high.

Maybe in another universe, the curtains are yellow. And maybe, the hoodie is red and the jacket is blue.

Lucas

-

Lucas,

What the fuck is in your weed?

Jens

-

Dear Jens,

When I finally become the greatest philosopher of this generation, you will have no credit in any of my works.

To answer your question, I don't know what's in my weed. My friend Jayden could probably tell you. I met him through Kes. He's funny but sweet. Best intentions kind of person, even if he is a little interesting. I think you would like him.

Utrecht is starting to feel like home. I know it technically always has been, but that was before I was fully immersed in my stream of consciousness. There is something familiar with everything. Whenever I sketch the parks, streets or buildings, I seem to get a recollection of memories. They're always a little faded, very much like a blurry dream sequence. But I can make some of them out. There are sounds too, sounds of a melodic giggle, soft words spoken and adoring smiles. I know they're from my family, you know, when my parents were still happy together. Before Mama had gotten sick.

I think a lot about my time in Antwerp. Sometimes it also feels like a distant memory.

Lucas

-

Lucas,

I know it's been awhile since I've written to you. And by the time you get this, it may have been a month. I'm not sure.

Nothing much has happened. That's why I haven't written. Not much has happened and that isn't an exaggeration. I think the most excitement I get is heading to the mailbox to see if I have mail. Your replies are always much faster than mine. Sorry I make you wait for awhile. I don't mean too.

Lotte wants to adopt a dog. I think we might actually get one. Lies has a friend who's dog is about to have a litter of puppies. Maybe a dog will make things a bit more exciting. A little companion who chews on shoes. I know you would have loved that.

Jens

-

Dear Jens,

A dog! So you finally get something that could terrorize my shoes after I leave. Are you tormenting me? Maybe I'll ship you a pair of shoes and make your new little companion use it for teething. I'd finally be putting the shoes to use.

To be honest, I'm surprised you don't have much to tell me. I was expecting a lot of stories about parties and all of your dumb antics. Or are you just to embarrassed by them to tell me? if you have forgotten all the expressions on my face by now, just know I have a very sarcastic smirk on.

I do have something to tell you. I met this girl. Well, I met her awhile ago, during my first week of school. Kes introduced me to her. They've been friends for awhile. Her name is Isa. She's really pretty. Extremely. Her hair is short with light brown curls, and she's got the brightest smile. Everything about her is like the sunshine. Her laugh is bubbly and reminds me of the sounds at a carnival. Isa is like all the sparkling reflections off a diamond, when light gets refracted between them and you start to see a rainbow. She really is pretty, I'm sure you would agree with me. But she's not the only one I find pretty. I think Kes is pretty. He reminds me of the sultry hours of the night, eyes bright like the stars and shadows cascading like a mystery. When he's in a deep focus, you can see the way everything just comes to a still. It's quite mesmerizing. I didn't know I could feel this way.

Lucas

-

Lucas,

We got the dog. It's a small fluffy black and white little guy. Lotte wanted to name him Converse. For the colour scheme. I thought that was kind of fitting, with your shoes and all. Though the dog is missing splatters of paint. Maybe I'll add those on.

Seems to me you've met some good people. I'm happy for you.

Jens

-

Dear Jens,

Merry Christmas! How I wish I was with you. There's nothing more depressing than trying to have a Christmas with my father. We pretend we like the gifts we've given each other and then head out to where we'd rather be. I had a Christmas dinner with Kes' family. There's a lot of them. I thought you, Lies and Lotte were a lot. Ha, what a play on words. But Kes has three brothers and a sister. That's, you can count on your fingers, four more siblings than I ever had. The dinner was really good, his family is Dutch, Somalian and Vietnamese so there was a lot of different things to try. I asked his grandmother what it was like to arrive in the Netherlands, a country so different from where she must be from. She told be the beautiful thing about the many countries in the world is that you will never run out of places to see and explore. And soon, enough, you will find a place that is so much more beautiful than the rest of the world and settle there. Bonus points if its with a person you have created a small world with.

We could see the world together, don't you think? Are you ready for that kind of adventure?

Lucas

-

Lucas,

Happy New Years!

I would love to see the world with you.

Jens

-

Luc,

Are you okay? I haven't heard from you for awhile. Converse is doing fine, he's finally house trained. Lotte is a little annoyed that he seems to have a liking to sleep with me rather than her, but that's not really my doing is it? I hope you're smiling as you read this. You feel so far away.

Jens

-

Luc,

I hope you're okay. It feels rather lonely without your letters. I know I'm not the best with responses but I always did enjoy listening to you more. I loved hearing your every thought, even if I had no idea how you came up with it. Anyway, you don't have to say much if you don't want to. I understand. February is almost over and it seems like the last snowfall has happened. Valentines was rather lonesome, not like I had much planned out for that. I think the promise of spring arriving soon inherently means the promise of summer. And with summer, that means your return. I long for that day. Talk soon.

Jens

-

Luc,

I miss you.

Jens

-

Dear Jens,

I'm sorry for my silence. It was actually because of a mess of other things. My head was loud. I hope I didn't make you worry so much. My silence was rather theatrical, wasn't it? I know you can sense my sarcasm.

I kissed Isa. And then I kissed Kes. The Isa thing happened during New Years. It wasn't serious, more like a simple friendly New Years kiss. But I was excited. I mean, I told you how pretty she is. How could you not be excited to kiss a girl like her? But then it happened. You know, the kiss. It happened. And it felt like it didn't.

I thought I liked her Jens, I really did. But the kiss was so absent, like it was like I was watching two actors kiss. Someone who wasn't me and her. I had no attachment to it and I felt nothing for it. And I don't know why. Maybe I didn't like her and just thought I did. Maybe it was like how you think about the flowers being beautiful or the city lights. Maybe Isa had just been a beautiful thing in my life that wasn't meant to be loved in the way I had thought.

And then I kissed Kes. It wasn't that deep. We had went to some Valentines Day party, for all us single people. Even Jayden and Isa tagged along. By that time, Isa and I had forgotten about the kiss entirely (though I had forgotten it the second it was over). And then we decidedly to play spin the bottle. You know how it goes, whoever it lands on you kiss. I think you know where I'm going with this.

We kissed. It was short, the shortest kiss I've ever had in my life. Shorter than Isa's. But it was the first kiss I understood why it was such a romantic gesture. How you could feel bursts of sparks and a rushing amount of affection through such a simple touch. I felt that. So much. And when Kes looked at me afterwards, I realized that maybe I just liked kissing boys more than girls. A lot more.

I know what you're thinking. That I'm dramatic. Just because I did kiss a boy doesn't mean I like boys. But I keep thinking about kissing a boy. I never intentionally think of anyone in specific, but a certain figure always appears at the end of my daydreams. And I really think I like this boy.

You were right by the way. Isa and Kes are good people. I told them both about this. They pinched my cheeks and hugged me, saying that it was okay to still be navigating love and all that. That was apart of life, they said.

I guess I haven't really written back because I was scared to tell you. You know everything about my life because you lived almost everyday with me. And now, our distance has forced us to live two separate lives. I couldn't think about my new life and my old life not working out again. I didn't need to lose someone else. Being taken away from my mother was a lot, but Jens, being taken away from you was like having my heart ripped out of my chest.

That was a rather dramatic way to say I miss you.

Lucas

-

Lucas,

You could never lose me. Don't even think about that. I'll be apart of your life as long as you let me.

Jens

-

Dear Jens,

It's finally spring in the Netherlands. You know how I can tell? The flowers are in bloom. There's this flower shop I always walk by on my way to and from school. And they had the most beautiful tulips. An assortment of colours. I wondered how they were so bright and vibrant, their bulbs so perfectly shaped. I wondered how they could have grown so early into the season. Naturally, my curiosity led me to go inside the shop before school and ask. The florist appreciated my seeking of knowledge and told me her secret. She said that the trick is to remember that even with the change of seasons, we are allowed to grow for the season that we will soon blossom in. Turns out all autumn and winter, she nourishes the soil right before the first centimetre of stem can appear. And when spring finally rolls around, all the care and nourishing has paid off. I thanked her and she gave me a tulip as her own thank you.

I thought about people as I walked home that day. How we always identify with a certain season because that's when we feel flourished. I always thought of you as the summer. Even though I know you would argue and say summers are not meant for boys like you. But you are summer. The hour of the summer when you know it is not quite day or night. The time where neither the sun nor moon rule the sky and only boys who are not meant for this world do. Boys like me and you. Boys who are apart of a whole other world. An whole other universe.

Seasons may come and go Jens, I know you know this. We need to keep that cycle. Some seasons are to grow and some are to live life because this is the youngest we will ever be.

Lucas

P.S. In the envelope are some dried petals from the tulip. Unfortunately, I'm not as good as taking care of plants as I thought. They're blue by the way, the florist said it matched my eyes.

-

Luc,

If I am summer, I am not summer without you. You are what makes summer.

Is that poetic enough for you?

Jens

P.S. I kept the petals. They sit in the small box you painted for me once. I didn't know what I would ever use it for, but I guess I found out.

-

Dear Jens,

You have always been enough for me. More than enough.

Lucas

-

Lucas,

Converse tried to eat the edge of the paper which is why the corner of this letter is missing. I know what you're thinking. You should have sent him your shoes. YOU ARE NOT DOING THAT. I keep giving him things you've left behind for him to smell. So when you come, maybe he'll be completely familiar with your smell and who you are. I think he's excited to see you soon. The weeks go by so slow and fast at the same time. How can one thing be two completely different other things? The mysteries of the universe.

I'm starting to sound like you.

Jens

-

Dear Jens,

There's something I should tell you.

You were who I thought about kissing. Who appeared at the end of all my dreams and disappeared when I woke up. It was you. And it's always been you. I don't even know how to be poetic about this so I just want you to know, that everything in my world is entirely yours. Everything I want to do is with you. You are who I want to create a small world with.

I once told you about the people I found pretty. The ones I could see in the small details of the world that surrounds us. But you are beautiful. You are what I see in everything around me. You have become the universe in all my parallel ones. And when I see you next, I hope we can start exploring this world together.

Love, Lucas

-

Luc,

Where would you like to go first?

Love, Jens

P.S. I wish I was there to kiss you right now. So you know this life is not just a dream of yours. That it's all real.

-

Dear Jens,

By the time you get this, I will be with you. Wherever we decide to open this last letter, well, that is a mystery we have yet to find out. But I have a feeling it will be in your room, where we spent most of our days. Maybe you'll be on the bed with a guitar in your lap as I sit on the end of the bed, watching you read this. Or maybe I'll be laying next to you, as one hand gently plays with my hair. Or maybe, you're chasing me around the room, as I read this out loud, the words intelligible between our running and laughter.

But I do know one thing. That we will be together. Just like it should always be. In this life, world, universe and whatever else is beyond us. Me and you. Never apart.

This train should speed up a bit. My seat hardly has any leg room and I'm feeling confined. I know, ironic. Isn't it funny how some things turn out? At least I know this seat on this train ride home was meant for me. That's a second thing I know.

Love, Lucas

P.S. A third thing I know. That I will be getting a kiss from you after you finish reading this. I'm waiting. Don't give me that look.

What Would You Recommend?

a vds one shot. you can find more on my ao3.

( @ apolloswords )

feel free to comment/message me any suggestions for one shot ideas!

The last place anyone would expect Jens to work at would be a bookstore. But when a new barista gets hired to work at the store's cafe, he figures that maybe he is in the right place after all.

"Can I help you with anything?"

"Yes actually," The girl with the bright eyes answered. "Could you show me where to find some books on Greek Mythology?"

"Aisle four, the third shelf to your right should be filled specifically with Greek Mythology." Jens answered politely.

"Thank you!" She replied cheerfully before heading over to where he had directed.

He smiled back at her, before returning back to the boxes of books he had to unpack and place on the shelf. The whole thing was kind of ironic. Actually, it wasn't kind of ironic. It was ironic.

Jens wasn't the type to work at a bookstore. He wasn't really the type to read, ever. Unless he had to. The only books he could name off the top of his head were whatever books were assigned to his high school classes. And even then, he often jumbled up the titles and barely remembered the plot.

He did, however, flip through a cookbook once. That seemed pretty riveting, until he realized his mind was only processing the pictures of food and not the actual recipe.

But a job was a job. And if he wanted to keep up with funding his Vettige Vrijdag, skateboard accessories and anything else he could justify getting himself without extra commentary from his parents, well then working at a bookstore was going to have to suffice. It wasn't the worst job in the world anyway. Most times he kept to himself by organizing and unpacking books, occasionally interacted with the really nice customers and checking up online orders and inventory. It was pretty low maintenance and it didn't require too much of his attention. Most of his shifts were spent with his mind wandering. Daydreaming.

Daydreaming about the cute barista in the cafe and lounge area of the store.

He had arrived a few weeks after Jens had been hired. At first, Jens hadn't really taken much notice towards him. He did know there was a new barista when he ordered a coffee on his break, but the boy's back was turned against him so he didn't know what he looked like. But after a few more visits on his break, he had finally seen what he looked like. And he didn't know he would look so pretty.

Jens almost forgot about his cup of coffee when the boy turned around to pass it to him. And as his fingers hesitantly took the cup from this boy, he felt his fingers tingle when they brushed against his. Jens hoped he wasn't obviously staring at the boy, and hoped to death his jaw wasn't hanging open like an idiot.

Luckily, the boy didn't seem to take much notice. He simply handed Jens the coffee smiled politely and in his melodic voice, he told him "Have a nice day!". Jens did feel himself answer with a simple "Thank you", before letting his eyes dart towards the name tag on the boy's light brown apron.

Lucas .

And with a small smile, he knew his shifts at the bookstore were about to change. Gone were the days where he was counting down the hours, minutes and seconds of his shift. Now, he found himself getting excited for his shifts, even heading straight to the store after school in hopes to see him before he had to actually start his shift. Jens thought that maybe Lucas was going to be a new kid at his school, considering the school and the bookstore were in a close vicinity. But after searching the halls, which his friends had called him out for, there was no sign of Lucas. At all.

The more Jens had arrived to his shifts before schedule, the more he picked up more hours and the more he volunteered for random tasks, he realized the more he saw Lucas. It seemed like their shifts were beginning to align together, and sometimes, he would see Lucas wander over towards his side of the store. At first, he felt hopeful. Maybe he had wandered over to see Jens, like the way Jens began wandering over to the cafe on his every break. He liked coffee, but probably not enough to drink almost five cups a day and spend half of his shift's pay cheque.

But he noticed the way Lucas did wander over towards the books. He had one hand swinging on his side, tapping his fingers gently on his jeans while his other hand gently touched the rows of books, until his finger landed on one that seemed remotely interesting. Then he would pick it up, read the back of the cover and open it up. Jens watched as he read a few pages, before either nodding with approval or wrinkling his nose with grimace. But he always placed it back on the shelf, before wandering around towards another aisle. And before he knew it, Lucas would check the time on his phone and chewed the inside of his cheek before heading back towards the cafe and slipping his apron back on.

So Jens eventually realized that Lucas' little visits weren't for him. Each time he saw the curly brown hair tip back with the tilt of his head, the blue eyes searching and seeking, lips humming out a small tune and flushed cheekbones that made up this cute barista, he felt like he needed to break this cycle of just watching him. It probably came off as creepy with the off chance that Lucas did ever notice Jens.

The endless crushing and gazing from afar eventually caught up to him. He needed to make a move one way or another.

"Jens," His manager, Ralph, called out to him. "Can you come upstairs into my office for a second? I need to double check your work schedule before your exams."

"Sure." Placing down the box of books towards the side, he brushed his palms on his jeans and followed Ralph upstairs.

When they arrived in his little cozy office with the ambient lighting, Jens shifted on his feet as Ralph sat down in his chair and flipped through a big binder of planned out schedules.

"Your exams start when?" He asked while looking at a calendar.

"Middle of June." Jens replied. "About five weeks from now."

"Right right right," Ralph mumbled under his breath while making some 'tsk tsk' sounds. "You and Luc have the same schedule."

Jens didn't know if he heard that correctly. He also didn't know if he was supposed to even hear that in the first place considering Ralph had said it so low and quiet, that he had to just have been speaking for himself.

"Me and who?" He asked, hoping his voice didn't sound as shaky or cracked like he had thought.

"You and Lucas, the barista in the cafe." Ralph explained, setting the binder to the side. "You're both the only high schoolers we schedule on a regular basis, so I guess we would need more coverage during the weeks you need to study and take your exams."

"He's in high school?"

"Uhm, yes?" Ralph laughed, like he couldn't believe Jens didn't know that. "Do you not know who he is?"

"I think I've seen him." He lied.

"Well then you clearly know he can't me older than you. My friends and I used to say he looks like a fairy straight out of the gardens, so delicate in his nature."

"You're friends with him?" Jens asked surprisingly, and with a little more interest than someone who "supposedly" has seen him.

But Ralph didn't seem to show any indication towards his change in behaviour. "Well," He shrugged, "Yeah, we're friends. But he's also my roommate so there's that added bonus."

"Oh." He wanted to ask further, maybe figure out what high school Lucas went to. But he didn't know if that seemed invasive or not.

"Yeah but his schedule is a little different from yours." Ralph spoke again. It sounded like he was saying this to himself, but with the clearer annunciation and louder tone, it also seemed as though he was trying to tell Jens instead. "He's taking some online classes for now. Didn't finish his courses last year and is just trying to catch up so he can graduate with the rest of your year."

Asking why Lucas didn't finish his courses last year definitely seemed invasive so Jens knew better than to ask that.

"So he's in my year?" He asked instead.

"Yeah, yeah, well working to be in it again." Ralph smiled and checked the little clock on his desk. "Oh, well your break just started. Grab yourself a drink or snack from the cafe. It's on me, you've been working really hard."

"Thanks." He said with a small smile, before giving Ralph a small wave and heading out of the office.

As he jogged down the stairs, his mind wandered about Lucas. After this tidbit of information, his small crush on Lucas seemed to have grown a curiosity for the boy. Even though it was clear to him that he did have an interest, he didn't know Lucas as a person yet. But now it felt like he knew a little bit about him, even if it did raise some questions.

"Hi, can I take your order?"

Jens shook his head out of his daze and blinked, surprised to see Lucas in front of him. He was also just as confused to find himself standing in line, like his body had just brought him here out of habit, out of thought. At least there was nobody behind them so he didn't look so lost in front of a group of people.

Just the boy he had been crushing on for weeks now,

"Uhm," He blinked, finding his mouth go dry as he tried to rack his brain for an answer. "What do you recommend?"

Now it was Lucas' turn to blink and rack his brain for an answer.

"Uhm," He finally said. "I don't know."

Jens furrowed his brows. "Don't you work here?"

"I do." Lucas said quickly as he waved his hands in front of him. "I just, I just don't like coffee."

The answer, and his cute reaction, made Jens bite his lip as he tried not to show his amusement. But a small laugh escaped him anyway, and Lucas' cheeks blushed.

"You work in a coffee shop and you don't even like coffee?" He repeated. "Isn't that apart of the portfolio?"

"Well I guess that depends on the shop. Luckily the owner gave me a free pass on this." Lucas replied with a grin. "I could recommend you a tea latte though."

That would probably be a good change and break from all the copious amounts of coffee he had been drinking almost everyday now.

"Sure, that would be good." Jens smiled. "Surprise me and put it on Ralph's tab."

Lucas laughed and the sound rang through Jens' ears like the tinkling sounds of wind chimes in a soft breeze. "Okay, I'll make sure it comes out of Ralph's bank account. Your order will be right over there, see you Jens."

His heart skipped a beat as he waved at Lucas, who shyly waved back before continuing with the next person who must've fallen in line somewhere between their conversation. He noticed the way Lucas just barely let his eyes linger over him, before turning away. The pretty pink blush was still bright on his cheeks and if Jens squinted, he knew there was a smile on his equally pretty pink lips.

But Jens knew he had just the same reaction on his own face. He knew that right after Lucas had let his name roll off his tongue and past his lips, that he was equally guilty of having the fluttery feeling through his entire body. And when he picked up his cup of whatever tea latte was in it, after the first sip of the smooth and sweet drink, he knew the warmth radiating from his body wasn't only coming from the drink recommended by the cute tea-drinking barista.

It was coming from the cute tea-drinking barista.

Eventually Jens' break was over and he was back to his usual tasks. The next two hours passed by fairly quickly, but by the last hour, he was ready to leave. He could only stay in a bookstore for so long.

Just as he was just finishing up reorganizing a shelf of Thriller Mysteries, he felt someone approach the aisle.

"Hey." He heard a familiar voice say to him.

Smiling, Jens looked up from where he was kneeling. "Hi, can I help you?"

"Uhm," Lucas replied as he glanced at the aisles of books around him. "Do you have any recommendations?"

Jens had to laugh at the irony.

Getting up, he leaned cooly against the shelf, crossed his arms over his chest and smirked at Lucas.

"I would." He replied. "If I read."

Blinking and taking several seconds to let Jens' answer process in his brain, Lucas stared at him. Then he tilted his head and furrowed his brows at Jens.

"You work at a book store and you don't read? How does that even work?" Lucas asked with bewilderment.

Shrugging, Jens opened his palms up. "Beats me. I mean, I've gotten this far, haven't I?"

"Well what happens if people ask you for recommendations?"

"I've been lucky with that one." He chuckled. "Until you came around and ruined my good luck streak."

Lucas snorted before looking away with a small smile. "Sorry about that."

"No, no. no," Jens assured teasingly. "It's all good. Completely fine. But if you tell me what you like, I could direct you where to find it."

"Uhm." He replied, sounding even more shy and hesitant than earlier. "Tell you what I like?"

"Yes." Jens leaned in a bit, so he could lower his voice and be even more flirty with the smaller boy. "Tell me what you like."

"Uhm," He mumbled. "Tall."

Jens stared at hum, who's face was pink all over. "Tall?" He repeated. Sure, Jens may not read a lot of books but he was at least aware enough to know there wasn't such a book category labelled as "tall".

"Yeah, uhh, tall." Lucas said again, his voice barely audible at this point. "And dark hair, dark brown eyes, really cute and attractive, always focused on his work at a bookstore, comes in for at least five cups a coffee a day and always comes in with his skateboard and maroon hoodie, on or just hanging out of his backpack." He rambled on.

It took Jens at least a minute for these words to register in his brain. Mainly because Lucas had said them so softly and so quickly that it was impossible to figure out what exact words he had strung together. But Jens' subconscious seemed to acquire them for him, and as he let them replay in his mind, he felt a smile grow on his face.

"So you wanted to know what aisle that was in?" Jens replied cooly.

"Yes?" Lucas bit his tongue.

Looking up at the aisle sign above his head, Jens looked back down at Lucas with a grin.

"I think you managed to find that yourself."

This made Lucas grin, his face bright and so totally smitten by Jens. But this was when Jens let himself take a closer look at Lucas. His eyes sparkled like glitter under a bright light, the blue in his eyes almost seemed magical, like the colours of ball gowns in fairytales. The curls on his head looked sculpted to perfection, but even Jens knew that they would be the softest things his hands ever had the pleasure of touching. His features were delicate, just like Ralph had mentioned. Lucas really did look like fairy straight out from the gardens.

"Tell you what," Jens said. "How about we find some time where we're both not stuck here and go out. Ralph told me we pretty much have the same exam schedule and wee could study together if you wanted."

"Oh yeah that would be great!" His response was excited and eager, but he suddenly frowned. "But uhm, there's not really an easy way to say this but I'm not exactly in your grade. I missed a bunch of school last year because of shit and I failed the grade so I'm kind of doing a bunch of catching up right now and-"

"Hey, hey, hey," He said softly and assuringly, cutting Lucas' ramble off. Lucas took a breath, holding it like he was expecting the worst answer from him. But Jens only reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently in attempts to calm him down. "You don't need to explain yourself so much. It's all good I promise. I'm don't really care about that, I just care about if you want to do it and all that."

Smiling, Lucas exhaled a high of relief. "Okay, yeah, of course. Yes, I would like to do that. A lot."

"I'm glad." He smiled back at him. "I have some extra notes from last year I could bring along if you wanted."

"That would be great."

Both of them stayed there, smiling softly at each other, Jens' hand still on his shoulder. None of them said anything else, both of them feeling too much of a high.

"Jens!" Ralph's voice called out from a few aisles them, startling the both of them.

He turned around as Lucas looked over his shoulder to see Ralph emerging.

"Your shift is done." He told him, before noticing Lucas was there as well. Looking at him confusingly, Ralph nodded towards him. "Luc? What are you doing here? Your shift ended half an hour ago."

"Uhm." Was all Lucas could muster and Jens was equally as speechless.

Looking between the two, Ralph noticed the hand on Lucas' shoulder, their close proximately, both of their blushed cheeks and nervous smiles. Ralph took a few more seconds to asses the scene, until he finally clapped his hands and gasped.

"Fucking finally!" He exclaimed. "You guys took forever to finally ask each other put, I was beginning to think it wasn't ever going to happen."

"Ralph!" They both cried in unison.

"What!" Ralph said, in defence. "You both are hopeless. You think your shifts lining up was coincidence? No, that was my doing babes. I was starting to think you didn't even consider that to be a coincidence."

"We didn't." They both said again as Ralph just rolled his eyes.

"Ugh, seriously?" He said in disbelief. You guys aren't very subtle with your staring and trying to wander off during your breaks. Luc, you're my roommate. Every shift you had where Jens even made one visit had you coming home in the best mood, even on days you dealt with the worst customers. It made me want to schedule you more. And Jens, you have never came early or even on time for a shift until Lucas. That was a character change for you, but it did benefit your hours."

"Well thanks for that." Jens snorted and Lucas placed a hand over his mouth to keep himself from laughing.

"So when's the date?" Ralph asked excitedly.

Taking a look over at Lucas and smirking slightly, he quickly winked at him before turning around to face Ralph again.

"Well, it is a Saturday evening and me and Lucas are both off now so," Looking back at Lucas, he smiled. "How would you feel about going on a date right now?"

"Would you recommend me to say yes?" Lucas responded teasingly.

"Depends, do you actually like what you're about to get into?"

"This time? Yes." Lucas giggled before taking his turn to wink at Jens. "You're my cup of tea."

i physically cannot listen to cardigan by taylor swift anymore and it’s all because of this video

I WILL BAWL AND CRY EVEN JUST HEARING A SINGLE LYRIC BECAUSE!!! VDS!!! VDS!! VDS!

(also been on a vds video spree….my heart </3)

Little Taps.

a vds one shot. you can find more on my ao3.

( @ apolloswords )

feel free to comment/message me any suggestions for one shot ideas!

Actors Jens Stoffels and Lucas van der Heijden get interviewed for their upcoming movie. The most pressing question? Their relationship.

The bright studio lights blinded Lucas’ eyes, but since this was the fourth or fifth time around, he was able to tolerate them a little more. He hoped he didn’t look so nervous. While he had done a fair share of acting and such, interviews didn’t always come along with the job. But since he was starring in an upcoming film adaption on a popular queer romance story, fans all over the world were dying just to meet the two actors who were about to bring their beloved characters to life.

“Welcome to the show our guest stars, Lucas can see Heijden and Jens Stoffels. These two young men are portraying the leads in the upcoming move, Solar Eclipse of the Heart.” Their interviewer, Ariel announced to the audience. She turned her body towards the two boys. “Would you like the introduce yourselves and your roles?”

Out of habit, Lucas looked at Jens, who already knew what was coming. Smiling at him, he gave Lucas a small smirk, knowing what to do next. Out of the two of them, Jens was more of the outgoing one, often taking the lead and reassuring Lucas. Lucas couldn’t help but think someone like him was just made to be a star, and he had just gotten lucky.

“Well, the story revolves around a coming of age experience between two boys. The movie is set up in three acts, the first one being in my character’s perspective, the next one being in Lucas’ characters perspective and eventually, how the outside audience or ‘world’ supposedly views them.” Jens began to explain confidently. “The whole premise is to feel like you are going on this journey along with them and experiencing what they feel, only to get the external viewpoint at the end as though you are only a passerby.”

“I see,” Ariel nodded off to Lucas. “And how would you describe this sort of story telling?”

“Uhm,” Lucas thought about the question for a second before responding. “I think it dives a bit deeper on how queer people having this whole realization about who they are and who they are to the world. I think it’s able to show all the insights of how one may struggle with finding love and themselves, from internal and external factors.”

“That was what critics highly raved about when the book was first released.” She smiled at them, before prompting another question. “Now, when ur comes to the characters, how do you feel connected to them? Are there any similarities or did you feel like you had to be an entirely different person?”

“Well the beautiful thing with acting, is that you can be an entirely different person.” Jens joked, as Lucas tried to hide the smile on his face by slightly covering it with the microphone in his hand. He knew how the eventual recording of this interview would surface the internet, and even the slightest of reactions coming from either of them would send the fans into a frenzy.

“While I do think there are differences between me and my character, it’s all mostly due to the background. We see my character have more of a struggle with bisexuality because his parents don’t fully understand the other terms under the queer umbrella.” Jens continued to explain. “Eitan, my character, feels like a fraud because he doesn’t know if his sexuality is true or not. But many of his interests, like music and skateboarding are things I still do so it sort of feels like an extension of myself.”

“I think Theo, my character, is probably the most similar character that I’ve played.” Lucas responded honestly. “I looked at the script and pretty much went ‘Hey, isn’t this just my life?”

The audience laughed in response, which made his nerves calm down a bit. He felt Jens’ foot slightly tap on his, reaching over his chair as a little touch of affection. He hoped the camera angle wasn’t that low, or else the action might be read as more than he had intended.

“So was playing the role of Theo hard for you? I mean, Theo wasn’t easily accepted by his family and I understand that can hit close to home. Did it ever make you question why you considered this role?”

“Uhm.” He could feel his chest tighten a bit. It wasn’t that the question was hard to answer, but Lucas just never felt like he ever had the right words to say. Another tap on his foot seemed to send a sense of security over him, and he sat up straighter while clearing his throat.

“It was hard, to be honest. There were some scenes where I felt like I wasn’t even acting anymore because I knew everything Theo felt in that moment.” He tried to avoid the shaking his voice. “But at the same time, it’s unfortunately a story that happens way too often. I’m lucky that myself and Theo have a great support system in the end, which kind of shows hope for those in the same situation.”

Another tap on his foot. He pressed his lips into a thin smile, hoping his cheeks weren’t blushing outrageously. Maybe he could blame it on the lighting.

“Well I think that’s also what makes this film so special.” Ariel said. “Over the years there have been many criticisms over non-queer people taking the lead roles as queer characters and people feel that gives a sense of false representation. But here, we have both of you who identify within the LGBTQ+ community who are also playing the roles of like characters.”

“Same sexualities too.” Jens laughed, and Lucas let that specific noise wash over him, calming himself down a bit.

“Same sexualities too.” Ariel repeated, laughing alongside with him.

“So the both of you clearly have the fans’ stamp of approval after just seeing the teasers and trailers for the film. People truly think you embody these characters to their fullest and think your chemistry is off the charts. How did you hit it off the first time after you had both been casted?” She asked.

They both looked at each other quickly, trying to stifle a smile. But Lucas knew the look on Jens’ face. With the way his tongue was pressing against his cheek as he widened his eyes a bit, this was definitely a dead giveaway that their publicist would probably lecture them later for. But neither of them couldn’t help it. After spending so much time together, filming and on the road doing interviews, there were just some reactions that were pure instincts.

“Well, Luc is an amazing actor.” Jens began to say, looking back at Ariel and repositioning himself in the chair. “And on top of that, he’s a great guy so it wasn’t at hard at all to get that chemistry going.”

“I think we did like three screen tests or something and that was it.” Lucas added shyly.

Jens gave him a small smile, obviously proud that he was adding more to the conversation without being directly coaxed.

“Yeah, it was a very small amount of screen tests between us.” He agreed. “To be honest, it’s kind of weird how our paths didn’t cross sooner. I did start out more in the music industry before playing the acting field and Luc was always casted for music videos around that time.”

“Maybe because I was in the Netherlands and you were in Belgium.” Lucas teased.

Jens let out an airy laugh, tilting his head back a bit. “Oh right, that would be why, wouldn’t it?”

They gave each other a small smile, hoping their microphones covered their mouths at just the right angle. Lucas ducked his head a bit, trying to avoid Jens’ gaze.

“But you guys filmed the move in Amsterdam, which I heard is close to where you grew up Lucas. But Jens, Antwerp isn’t that far away from the Netherlands either, did you have a hard time adjusting?”

“There is a little bit of a culture shock because while it is very close, it’s still a different environment.” Jens explained. “But one day, when we had a day off from shooting, Lucas took me to Baarle-Nassau. It’s like this really small town that has the Belgium and Netherlands border running through it. I think we spent an hour just jumping over the little marks.”

Lucas felt his face grow warm as he recalled the memory. It was a few weeks into shooting and while he and Jens had gotten along fairly well, they hadn’t spent time off set together really building their relationship. But after he decided to invite Jens on a day out, things had changed. Lucas first noticed it in the train ride, where he and Jens talked the entire two and a half hours there. Usually Lucas wasn’t a very social person, which was a bit ironic as an actor. Whenever he could, he liked to keep to himself, listening to his music or doodling, or even just looking out the window and imagining stories in his head. Train rides were good for that. But when he realized how long he was able to talk to Jens for, to feel so in tune and invested in the conversation that he didn’t even realize time go by.

“Yeah, that was a fun time.” He added, though it sounded more like he was saying it to himself rather than the whole audience. “We kept jumping over the marks saying that we were in each other’s country and how we were closer than we thought.”

“Well you guys are obviously very close now.” Ariel said and Lucas swore she saw a glint or even a wink in her left eye. “I do have a pressing question from the fans however, and I think we’re just all dying to know the answer.”

He let out a nervous laugh as Jens raised a brow. There were a lot of pressing questions from fans recently, flooding the comment section on social media posts or direct messages. But there was a singular question that seemed to take the spotlight.

“How do you both feel about everyone conspiring that you’re both in a relationship together? Has it effected your friendship in any way?”

“Uhm.” They both said in unison, trying to stifle the pressing giggles.

He felt Jens’ foot tap against his again, this time in a continuous pattern, like he was finding amusement in the question. Ariel looked at them weirdly, wondering why their reactions were so bashful.

“Well,” Jens began to say, clearing his throat, while still eyeing Lucas. “It’s not something really bothers us. I get why some people might think it’s a little invasive but I’m comfortable with our relationship and showing what they say are affectionate gestures is just something I seem to do without thinking when it comes to Luc.”

“It’s cool with me too.” He replied, sitting up straight and giving a small smile. “I’m not overly bothered by it. I think it’s nice that Jens and I can have a rather affectionate friendship.”

“So none of you are bothered at all about the speculations?” She asked, rather surprised. “It doesn’t affect actual private relationships you may have?”

“Nope.” They said at the same time, and Lucas covered his laugh with his hand.

“And to put on record, it doesn’t affect actual private relationships because we don’t have any.” Jens winked.

Still trying to stifle his giggle, Lucas squirmed a bit and gently kicked the bottom of Jens’ foot. Jens’ shoulders reacted to the action, but he still had that look on his face. The smirk, halfway lifting the right side of his mouth while his eyes looked at Ariel, and the audience, with a sort of charm. Jens had charisma when it came to hiding his reactions while Lucas always felt like he was so awkward.

The interview seemed to go by smoothly, answering more general questions without completely tripping over his words. When Lucas wasn’t fully paying attention to the conversation, he found his focus being on Jens again. Either slightly angling his body to get more of his angle in his peripheral vision or feeling the way Jens’ foot tapped against his. He watched the way Jens’ tongue rolled around the inside of his cheek when he was amused at something or the way his shoulders flinched slightly when another question about their relationship was asked. Lucas wasn’t sure if anyone was paying attention to his actions as closely. If they were, they were probably a dead giveaway to the feelings he had to hide away from outside eyes.

Eventually the interview came to a close and Lucas breathed out a sigh of relief when he heard the camera stop rolling and the studio lights dim down a bit. He let out a few deep breaths, shutting his eyes tight before he felt calm enough to stand up. Before he did, he saw Jens already getting up as he tapped on his leg three times. Lucas gave him a shy smile and slightly nodded, while Ariel and the rest of the crew were finishing up.

This time, nobody’s eyes were on them.

Lucas headed backstage, to the small dressing room he was assigned to. Closing the door gently behind him, he sat on the small couch and continued to take a few deeps breaths. He always found it kind of funny that as an actor, he often felt most nervous when he had to play himself. It wasn’t like he had to do anything for the “role”, but it was harder to showcase who he was to an audience than showcase a character he was playing.

After a few minutes, he heard a knock on his door. Three gentle knocks. Little taps. Bouncing up on his feet, he practically skipped across the room to open it.

“Hey.” Jens said softly, after Lucas opened it.

“Hey.” He replied back, feeling his heart get caught up in his chest.

He opened the door wider, so Jens could come in. As he closed the door behind him, Jens made his way towards the couch, flopping down on it with his arms stretch out. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes, while Lucas made his way over.

“Tired?” He asked gently, as he sat down facing him. He felt Jens’ arm and hand against his body, the slight touch sending flutters through it.

“Mm hmm.” Jens hummed, still keeping his eyes closed.

Reaching out, Lucas gently brushed back a few strands that had fallen down his face. He saw Jens’ lips curl up into a smile as he hummed with relief, like it was only now he was able to relax.

“You’re really good at all of this.” Lucas said softly, still gently brushing the hair back. “It’s like you were made to be a star.”

Opening his eyes, Jens’ brows furrowed as he stood up a bit straighter. He let his fingers still brush around his dark hair, feeling how soft and plush they were against his fingertips.

“You’re just as good.” Jens said with a slight frown. Lucas knew he hated when he felt condescending about himself. “Just because you’re a bit shyer doesn’t mean you don’t have just as important things to say.”

“Yeah, but you’re so natural about it all. I feel like I’m acting when I do these interviews and I’m not. I don’t know, it just takes a bit getting used to.”

“Well, I’m with you through it all right? All our interviews so far have been together and even if they’re not, I’m not that far away.”

Jens snaked his arm around Lucas’ body, slightly pulling it closed. Lucas sighed and let himself fall into it, feeling his hand trail up and down his back in soft caressing strokes. He let his head rest on Jens’ shoulder, allowing himself to calm down after all the energy he had to give out today. He loved his job, acting was his dream. But some days, it was harder to keep up with all its expectations than others.

“I like when they ask us about our relationship.” Jens lightly chuckled, letting the vibrations pass through both of their bodies.

Lucas snorted, burying his face into his shoulder. “I don’t know why they keep asking.”

“It’s because you seriously have the hots for me.” Jens winked.

He shook his head, which only made Jens laugh again and their bodies vibrated even more.

“I don’t have the hots for you.” Lucas groaned, using his shoulder to bury his face even more to try and hide his smile.

“Yes you do.” He teased, pinching his cheek. “You don’t see all those videos or pictures that get tagged and titled on the way you look at me? You’re so obvious Luc.”

“Listen, you have just as much posts about the way you’re smirking at me and shit.” He lifted his head up and raised his brows. “People think you’re just as obvious as I am.”

“Guess we’re both pretty bad at hiding it, huh?”

They laughed, finally letting out the reactions and expressions they had been holding in all day. Lucas felt Jens pull him into his chest, positioning them so he was laying on top of him. Jens reached up to gently stroke Lucas’ cheek while gazing into his eyes.

“You know, you always have this sort of blush in your face.” He whispered quietly, continuing to stroke his cheek. “Even in the brightest of lights, there’s this beautiful pink glow. It’s like a part of you.”

“You just want me to admit your flirting works, don’t you?” Lucas teasingly rolled his eyes.

He pulled him in closer, and tighter, which made Lucas erupt in a giggle.

“Stop being so smart with me. I know those lips are good for something else.”

“Ew.” Lucas wrinkled his nose in disgust.

Jens pouted. “Not like that. Not that I don’t want that but also, not that.”

“I’m just teasing.” He brought his face down a bit, lowering it so his forehead was pressed against his and their noses were brushing against each other.

“Do you think they’ll ever find out?” He whispered. Lucas could feel his lips moving so slightly against his.

“God, I hope.” He snorted again. “It’s so hard having to control myself during interviews.”

“The fans are going to lose it when they find out. They’re going to have to cast us for another movie.”

“Hey.” Now it was Lucas’ turn to pout. “I don’t want to have to act just to kiss you.”

“Me neither.”

He pressed his lips against his, feeling his smile against his own. Jens’ hand snakes up Lucas’ back, playing with the back of his head and letting his fingers mess around with his curls. Lucas used his hand to tilt Jens’ chin up, to deepen the kiss just slightly.

When they pulled apart, the grins on their faces would be impossible to wipe off. Lucas already knew the blush was on his face but this time, there was no need to hide it.

“You know, I think the fans are definitely going to know sooner or later.” He whispered and Jens gave him a confused look.

“What makes you say that?”

“You called me Luc the entire interview.” He gave Jens a smirk, while he covered his eyes and groaned.

“Fuck.”