C H A P T E R 1 3 - C H U A I G H S I N D E A R M A D D E R I R A C H I L E ( P T 1 )

C H A P T E R   1 3   -   C h u a i g h   s é   i   n d e a r m a d   d e   r é i r   a   c h é i l e   ( p t   1 )

She glanced up at him when she was done talking, chin lifted defiantly. He had seen this look before. It was the same challenging face that met the mob on the cliffs after Padrick disappeared. It was the look of a woman beaten down and ready to be judged.

‘I’m so sorry,’ he whispered. ‘I can’t even imagine the pain you are in, red.’

She didn’t reply. She hung her head and sighed, ‘I’m scared.’

‘I’m here.’

‘I’m scared because you are here.’ She looked up then, blue eyes haunted. ‘Because of me not being strong enough… I killed my daughter. I couldn’t stand up to him and because of that she…’ A whimper cut her off and despite knowing better, despite understanding all the little signs he had before disregarded, he touched her arm gently, whispering, ‘This is not your fault. Órlaith, this has never been your fault.’

‘It is. He is still out there because I was too scared to say anything. I was too scared to talk before she got hurt, and after. I may not be the person who drowned her, but I’m the one that let her drown. She deserved better.’ Before he could say anything she shook her head and with those big blue eyes looked up. ‘I’m still not strong enough, Brian. I’m not strong enough to fight you.’

It broke his heart to see her like this. He could feel the anger burning just under the surface, desperate to get out. Since day one he wanted to know the reason behind her pain and now he did. Everything in him yelled at him to go and avenge her. Find the one who wronged her and erase him from the face of this earth because while she was standing here, he had no right to occupy the same planet. But all he did was lean into her and with as much conviction as he could muster, muttered, ‘You will never have to fight me, Órlaith.’

She closed her eyes, smiling a sad, broken smile. ‘I wish.’

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C H A P T E R   1 3   -   C h u a i g h   s é   i   n d e a r m a d   d e   r é i r   a   c h é i l e   ( p t   2 )

Órlaith stared at the box, mind racing. She was looking, rather desperately, for an escape. She knew that once she opened that box the story started moving again. This box, it was the last sentence of a closing chapter. A chapter that, if she ever wanted to see Brian again, had to end now, with this old dusty box, inside this old dusty library.

Now all she had to do was stop looking for excuses and lift the lid.

But she didn’t. Instead she walked away. Busied herself in the kitchen, cleaned the house, ordered more groceries. She kept returning to the box, checking in on it from time to time to see whether it moved. It never did.

It was well past midnight when she finally closed the door to the library and faced the box one last time. She was still not brave. She was a coward and like a coward she knew this thing has to be handled like a band-aid – yank it off quickly, not giving yourself a chance to run.

She lifted the lid releasing a puff of dust that made her cough. She threw it aside and looked in, expecting all kinds of monsters to attack her. But all the monsters were dead, died a long time ago leaving behind old, dingy relics. She pulled them out, one by one.

Photos stared at her, resting in a pile that never got sorted into a photo album. Staring at the mess she decided to start there. She pulled out what she supposed was her family photo-album and got to work, adding photos to chalky pages. There were no photos of him. She only took photos of Maya.

When she was finished she lifted Mr Jungle, Maya’s favourite panda bear and put her arms around it, leaning back in her armchair. She felt tears biting in her eyes and for once, let them flow as she held on, pushing her fingers into the dusty plush toy.

She woke up hours later, face resting on Mr Jungle. The sun was desperately trying to part the thick clouds outside to announce it’s ascend, falling short. It was going to be a stormy day. With that notion Órlaith stood up, packed up the scattered items, labelled the box Maya and put it back on its shelf.

Mr Jungle stayed with her as she climbed up the stairs and went to sleep in her bed.  

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C H A P T E R   1 7   -   Í o b a i r   ( p t   2 )

‘So that’s it,’ snarled the fae, watching her with dangerous bright eyes. ‘You’re willing to make the ultimate sacrifice. And you think it will keep us away?’

‘It has to.’

‘Because one of your picture books said so?’ she mocked.

Órlaith grinned, shaking her head. ‘No. Because you’re scared.’

The fae exploded in anger, screeching as they approached her, claws flashing through the rain. They looked like a descending tidal wave, ready to burrow her underground if that was what it took to get her out of their way.

‘The world is changing, girlie. You can’t stop it. In a few years everything you know and love will be burnt to ash and nobody – not your angels, or demons – will be able to stop it. You giving your insignificant, puny life to bury me won’t change a fucking thing!’

Órlaith backed away from her, unable to stop smiling. ‘Oh, I don’t need to save the world. I just want to save my village.’ With that she broke into a run and the night around them exploded in chaos.

The fea’s webs slashed out at her legs, cutting into her skin and obscuring her view. She tried to chase the tendrils away with her arms, but the only thing she managed to do was tear her jacket in the process. Still she kept going, screaming in pain as the faeries reached their claws after her, trying to pin her in place. Trying and failing to oppose the sheer power of her will.

At the end she was standing on the cliff, torn and bruised, watching them approach with wild eyes.

‘You won’t fuck this up for me, girlie,’ hissed the fae.

‘Oh,’ she replied on a breath, opening her arms wide, ‘I already did.’

The last things she heard falling to her death was the scream of a man ready to follow. The screeching of the fae hit the waves at the same time her body did.

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C H A P T E R   1 6   -   T u b a i s t e   ( p t   1 )

‘I might be able to get inside through the window.’

As far as famous last words went, Brian lived to hear better ones. But really, the kid’s heart was in a good place. If only his fitness abilities were as strong as his determination.

He hit the porch with a loud bang, making Brian wince. Half-faerie or not, that shit had to hurt. Brian rushed to him, leaning down over his pained expression. ‘Kid, are you okay?’

‘I’m not able,’ mumbled the kid.

‘No shit.’

Padrick’s parents choose that moment to barrel out, brandishing various household items as weapons. They pointed them all at Brian threateningly, barking out police numbers and for some reason, pleas. Brian stepped back from them, deciding this was not the day to die by the hand of an Irish village idiot. May the Englishman in him rest in peace.

‘Mom, dad!’ cried the kid, bringing order to chaos. ‘It’s me! It’s me! Stop it!’

The dad, freezing mid-swing, fixed a confused expression on his son. ‘Padrick?! What are you doing outside!’

‘And who are you?!’ screeched mom, pointing at Brian.

‘He is… a friend!’ cried the kid, making all the adults look at him in doubt. Sure, the pause, decided Brian, didn’t help much. But then, he was helping a faery to break into a house of it’s not quite parents. Somehow a fight with said parents ranked very low on his strange meter tonight.

‘I’m a teacher,’ he said, lifting his hands to communicate peace.

‘Yes!’ nodded the boy adamantly. ‘He teaches… maths.’

Brian winced. Of course. Of all the subjects in all the world the kid had to choose the one which made him want to take an iron pipe to his brain. But sure. Why not. Maths. Derivations. ‘I found him walking down the street a few block away,’ he lied, making Padrick glare. ‘I didn’t think it safe for him to wander around so I took him home.’

Sometimes it sucked to be adult. It sure as hell sucked to be a kid right now. But then, Brian decided it sucked far more to spend his night in jail being questioned as a suspect of a paedophilia case. Sometimes adults called the shots and the kids just had to sit down and bloody listen.

‘You!’ cried the adult, pointing at both, the kid and Brian in turn, ‘inside now. You two better explain yourselves right now.’

They followed, mindless of the darkness pushing them forth. All the while the phone in Brian’s pocket kept ringing.

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C H A P T E R   1 4   -   I   d ‘ a o n a r   ( p t   3 )

‘Wait! Please, stop!’ he cried, running after the girl. She seemed to be walking so slowly, almost floating over the ground, yet even running full speed he had trouble catching up. Her hair was floating behind her, a curtain of luxurious gold that would one day turn brown. That is if he somehow managed to stop her from moving toward the water. ‘Please! You can’t go there!’

‘I can’t stop,’ she whispered. It was eerie. How her voice sounded so calm and relaxed, but her eyes, when she looked at him, were big and filled with terror. They looked like eyes of someone facing a gun.

‘Give me your hand,’ he beseeched, reaching for her.

‘I can’t!’ she repeated. This time a hint of that terror stole into her tone. He was glad. It meant that maybe, just maybe the hold on her was breaking.

He threw himself at her, holding onto her waist tightly. They were already at the beach and his feet were sinking in the sand, leaving a rigged line behind them. As much as he tried to steady them, the pull was too powerful. There was no stopping it. At least not for a little boy.

‘Help!’ he cried, holding on for dear live. ‘Someone, please!’

The water was getting closer. It seemed to be reaching for them, turning dark and murky on the surface, a tentacled monster about to strike. His throat was getting sore from the yelling and his sweaty hands kept slipping on the girl’s skin. He couldn’t keep doing this much longer. Especially with the voices cackling in his head.

He was beginning to loose hope when the girl’s sneaker got lost in the fog. Let go, the voices in his head said, she is ours now. And he wanted to. Something abominable inside of him wanted to let go…

But then another voice screamed, ‘Hey! What are you two doing down there!’

Padrick’s head snapped back to call out, one last time, right at the moment the connection severed. He and the girl were thrown back, tumbling into the sand. The fall tore his breath out of his lungs and for a second he was gone, grasping at the dark mist of unconsciousness, only to wake up cradling the girl a second later.

When the man finally reached them the girl was crying, soft, broken sobs rocking her frail frame. Padrick looked up at him, eyes wide and scared. He couldn’t believe they was still alive and obviously, the man has some trouble believing it either.

He kept staring at the water, jaw dropped in amazement. That’s when Padrick recognised his face. He was the one who helped Órlaith find him. Brian, she kept calling him.

‘You know Órlaith,’ muttered the boy finally, pulling the man’s gaze back to him.

‘As do you. It’s Padrick, right? Are you okay?’

He nodded, feeling some of the horror seep out of his bones. He felt light, too light, like a balloon about to float away into the clouds.

‘Alright, Padrick,’ grunted the man, turning to indicate the water with his finger, ‘Now what the fuck was that?’

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C H A P T E R   1 2   -   S c é a l   g r á    ( p t   2 )

Galway, 2010

 That feeling, the pure essence of freedom, it is incredible. It can’t be described, those first few steps you take away from home. It’s like finding a brand-new room in a house you have been living in your whole life, opening the door and plunging in, awestruck by a world so bright and new it makes your breath hitch.

They tell you you should feel homesick, lost in this strange city, but you don’t. You’re far too preoccupied feeling things you didn’t ever dare to feel before, or simply had no idea existed in the first place. Everything seems possible in those first few months after moving away from home.

Even falling in love.

Oh and it’s easy. So strangely easy to let go off all you knew before and let yourself be consumed. Fall back, relax, nobody can hurt you here because the world is bright and brave and the man you love has you by the hand, leading the way.

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