PHONING... Carnival.

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ carnival.

Essentially becoming a shut-in due to your extreme fear of crowds, your friends are determined to take you out and show you how much fun things can be.

selected: [ soobin's song ] replay? ✧

જ⁀➴♡ wc 1k ✧ fluff , humor , comfort

As you inch closer to the front of the line, the rhythmic clinking of the cars ascending and descending fills your ears.

Standing before the entrance, the worker looked at you expectantly before glancing at the boys behind you. You turned to face them and they all gave you an encouraging smile, each one as sweet as the one before.

“So, who’s it gonna be?”

Looking at each of them, it felt almost impossible to pick just one. The feeling that everyone was waiting on you made you even more anxious, the idea of annoying the people around you getting your nerves up even more.

“Hey, Y/N it’s fine. Take your time.” Taehyun commented.

The small smile he gave you was enough to have you letting out a sigh of relief, though the beating in your chest was still as fast as ever.

“Um… Soobin!” You said a bit loudly, almost like a cheer.

“I win!” Soobin said causing Yeonjun to roll his eyes with an annoyed huff, watching as he made his way toward you.

The ride attendant quickly got the both of you situated and gave a thumbs up before moving onto the next passengers.

With a lurch, the Ferris wheel began its slow ascent.

As the ferris wheel raised, Soobin sat comfortably, seemingly without a care in the world and you couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief.

His calm demeanor was a contrast to everything around you, the excitement of the lights below taking up your attention.

Even though he was introverted, he did so well at huge events like these. You’d almost be jealous if you didn’t admire him so much for it.

Soobin’s eyes were focused on you, your eyes sparkling with the reflection of the colorful carnival.

“What can you see?” He asked.

“What do you mean?” You turned to him, only to find him staring at you with a look that almost seemed like he was lovestruck.

Rather than answering his own question, he looked down and began retracing your footsteps throughout the night over the landscape, as if he was following a map.

In truth, all he could see was remnants of you.

In the gentle sway of the carriage, he nudged you, pointing down toward the carousel the group had previously been on.

From high up, it looked so small yet you could still hear the gentle chimes if you focused hard enough.

And if you closed your eyes, you could still see all the small details on that horse.

“I’m really glad I came with you guys,” you started swept up in the moment.

The lights down below began blur with a magical glow over the shared space.

“I’m glad that you’re here, especially.”

Soobin’s eyes widened a bit behind his glasses as he fixed them with a smile. “Yeah?”

Maybe it was the enchantment of the lights down below or the stars above, but your mind had been yelling at you to come clean to him in the moment.

The scariest part of the moment wasn’t him but how unwaveringly certain you had been in choosing him.

“I like you.” You mumbled, words carried on the breeze between you.

In the moment of vulnerable honesty, he responded with a hum.

“Well, I love you.” His voice was nothing but kind and certain. Your eyes widened, quickly turning to face him in surprise at the sudden confidence.

Soobin laughed, his admission breaking the serene silence as you were carried higher, above the world below, over the rainbow lights.

“You had to one up me?” You asked, nervous if he was joking.

Soobin gave you an almost judgemental look, sensing your apprehension in believing him.

“I'm not asking for a grand declaration of love back. If you just like me a little, that’s fine.”

Embarrassed, you looked away. He smiled, putting his arm around your shoulder, pulling you in closer.

“I'm not asking for promises or tenure, I just want you to know that you’re the hand I reach for at my breaking point.”

In the way he wanted to become your home; you had become his island. A place of solitude he could wander to when seeking comfort.

“I reach for you too,” you started quietly. “I think you’re just better at words than me, but I do love you too..”

“I’m not good at words, at all actually.”

“Dude, you just recited like… some romantic poem or something as a confession!”

Soobin stared off into the distance, lips jutted out slightly in thought before he shrugged.

“Hm? I don’t think it sounded like anything too special, it was just the truth.”

Burying your face into his shoulder, you refused to look at anything else as you sighed.

This made him chuckle again as he began pointing things out to you to get you to look down.

The small sights of couples play fighting and your friends conversing down below somehow calmed your aching nerves.

In truth, it had been to calm the both of you down.

Even if he did a good job at not showing it in the moment, the internal freak out he had on ground in the wake of being picked by you had shook him quite a bit.

Not that he would admit it, the last thing he needed was you making fun of him.

Regardless, the words he had been waiting to tell you for however long had finally been spoken, a wave of contentment washed over him.

Soobin, who would always speak your name with gratitude, knowing it was the mantra of his soul.

Forever grateful to know you in any way you would allow him.

The man who would leave markers for you at every turn so if you had ever gotten lost, you would know where to return to.

Soobin who could find pieces of you in everything that caught his breath.

Somehow, you had never felt more loved than you did at this moment.

“Y/N, you’re special to me in ways that I can’t describe. You are love at its most inexplicable.”

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ sparks.

Watching the fireworks with Yeonjun, nothing is as sweet as the final comedown.

જ⁀➴♡ wc 700 : drabble ✧ fluff , comfort

It was raining on the day that you met Yeonjun. With your hair wet and tangled, with droplets of water sliding down your cheeks like crystal teardrops and the uncomfortable feeling of sopping wet clothes clinging to your body.

It was in the midst of the longest you had gone without human contact when you met him; without the soft, conceding warmth of someone else's skin. The rain felt much colder alone.

You began to crave it after a while, missing the comfort one could provide. Missing the ability to obsess over the most trivial things they shared with you.

The small things like a hand on your shoulder or breakfast with company in the morning seemed much warmer in the past of your recollected memories.

When you met Yeonjun, it had been in the middle of wondering how long it would be before you’d lose all recollection of that love.

It was in the lobby of the office’s building the two of you crossed paths, both seemingly recovering from the torrential downpour outside.

Maybe it was the position you were in at that time of your life, or maybe it was just his smile.

You realized that there was penance in yearning and the poverty that comes from pining for someone, rich only in the love that you gave away.

It was in the first time meeting him that you came to realize, sometimes the loneliest place to be is in love.

It changed the more you saw each other. Two strangers shaking from the rain somehow agreed to reunite in any weather, to experience it all together.

It was one sunny day when he took your trembling hands in his, placing a gentle kiss to your wrist as his eyes peered up at you with devotion.

“You’re safe with me.”

His touch was sweet like a memory of something long gone and you wanted to fold yourself into his arms like origami to stay with him forever, perfectly placed in his heart.

He tells you how precious you are to him and that he will spoil you with love if you allow him to.

It happened just like that.

One day you met him and for some inexplicable reason, you felt more connected to this stranger than anyone else.

No matter how you tried to find the reason, to understand the importance of your meeting, you always came up short.

Perhaps it was because Yeonjun carried an angel within him in your eyes.

Yeonjun, an angel sent to you for some higher purpose, to keep you safe during a perilous time.

To heal and gently put back together a heart that he did not break.

Regardless of the reasoning, you made the conscious decision to trust him.

Even if he came hand in hand with pain or suffering, you decided to risk it all for his smile.

Finding that the reason for his presence in your life will become clear in due time.

And as you grew to love him, you came to realize that his purpose isn't to save you but to show you how to save yourself.

And once this was fulfilled, the halo lifted but the glow in your heart remained all the same.

After the fireworks come down, the smell of gunpowder lingered and his arm pulled you into him, bodies coming together. Overwhelming your senses now with only him.

“It's so dark right now, I can't see any light around me.”

In the darkness, you felt the wind catch in your hair as your nose twitched at the cold.

The hushed whispers around you were drowned out by your favorite laugh, his lips coming down to press against your forehead gently.

“That's because the light is coming from you. You can't see it but I can.”

You had always thought that the feeling of joy Yeonjun gave you was a prelude to something wonderful— something greater than yourselves.

Like seeing a shooting star or getting a text from an old friend when you weren't expecting one, the unexpected but welcome development of love— the swift, surprising transition from nothing to everything.

A fleeting feeling that held a world of promise.

And then the light pierced through the dark as the rain stopped falling, leaving only the sparks of the fireworks behind.

And all the while, he held you whispering his confessions of love under them all.

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ carnival.

Essentially becoming a shut-in due to your extreme fear of crowds, your friends are determined to take you out and show you how much fun things can be.

path unlocked: [ star song.] replay? ✧

જ⁀➴♡ wc 1k ✧ fluff , humor , comfort

As you inch closer to the front of the line, the rhythmic clinking of the cars ascending and descending fills your ears.

Standing before the entrance, the worker looked at you expectantly before glancing at the boys behind you. You turned to face them and they all gave you an encouraging smile, each one as sweet as the one before.

“So, who’s it gonna be?”

Looking at each of them, it felt almost impossible to pick just one. The feeling that everyone was waiting on you made you even more anxious, the idea of annoying the people around you getting your nerves up even more.

“Hey, Y/N it’s fine. Take your time.” Taehyun commented.

The small smile he gave you was enough to have you letting out a sigh of relief. “I think…”

As they looked at you expectantly, you frowned. There was no way that you could choose just one of them without feeling bad for leaving the others out.

“I think… I-I don’t think I want to go on it anymore.”

Turning to the attendant with an apologetic look, you gave a quick apology before walking away, ushering the boys out of the line.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” Yeonjun asked, looking back with a concerned look toward you.

“If you’re too overwhelmed we can head out,” Soobin started.

Shaking your head as the six of you find a place behind a nearby tent, you shook your head. “I’m fine! I’m having fun!”

Kai tilted his head slightly at your tone. It was fairly obvious you had became overwhelmed, even if you refused to admit it.

Your heart was coming down from the anxiety of holding up the line as you looked back at the ride, seeing the couples and families climb aboard.

In truth, you didn’t want to go on it that badly but the embarrassment from not being able to make such a seemingly simple choice had you flustered.

“Why don’t we get out of here anyways?” Taehyun offered.

You gave him a quizzical look, fiddling with the end of your shirt. “Where would we even go?”

Beomgyu shrugged, “why don’t we just go look at the stars?“

The suggestion was simple but it had caught your attention, looking up. All night the carnival seemed to distract from the natural beauty around you.

A part of you felt ashamed for not taking a moment to appreciate them.

Taehyun nodded. “Soobin still has some blankets in the truck, I think.”

“That I do,” Soobin said with a huff. “My poor napping blanket.”

“Come on, you big baby. I’ll wash it when we get home.” Yeonjun said, nudging the taller boy as he let out a huff.

You laughed, shooting him a grateful look. “Thank you, Soobin.”

As your group of friends began to weave through the carnivals crowd for the final time, the chaos began to fade into the distance.

Taehyun and Kai’s gentle hold on your hands had you sending them grateful looks.

Laughter and the faint echoes of carnival music lingered in the air as you all left behind the colorful lights and bustling rides.

Excitedly, Beomgyu walked backwards as he continued to ramble about a topic you couldn’t follow at all.

Seemingly, him and Soobin were arguing over who was better at the game they both played.

“Quit fighting!” Yeonjun called after them.

Ahead, the wide field was bathed in the soft glow of moonlight.

Even with the music in the distance, it was peaceful. Tall grass swayed gently in the breeze.

There was a rhythmic whisper that accompanied all of your footsteps as you found an area to settle down at.

Yeonjun and Taehyun set out the blankets as you and Kai gently nudged each other, pointing out the stars you could already see much clearer.

Soobin and Beomgyu seemed to continue their previous antics as they stumbled around chasing each other.

The scent of earth and grass filled the air and you took a deep breath in, finally feeling your heart settle for the first time that night.

The faint aroma of the carnival treats were finally left behind and as you sat down, Beomgyu basically crashing down next to you, you laughed.

You had once heard a story once about lovers who kept finding each other, no matter how many times the world came between them.

Even when they were cursed for the rest of eternity, transformed into stardust and placed scattered far apart throughout the galaxy.

Parts of them still found each other in the vastness of space.

In this story, rather than previous lovers, you had seen your friends.

Your bodies were made of stardust, and you were hurtling through space and time, toward the most beautiful collision. Yet each and every time, no matter what— you would find each other.

The night sky stretched endlessly, a canvas adorned with countless stars. Tired conversations ensued until you were all lying down, laughter subsiding into a familiar and comfortable silence.

Nameless stars gracefully stretched across the heavens, a river of light that seemed to flow from one horizon to the other. Endless.

In this moment of awe and wonder, you found yourself hoping that this moment could be endless as well.

Each star seemed to twinkle with its own secret, beckoning you to explore the mysteries of the cosmos.

You, Soobin and Yeonjun began to make up names and stories for the stars as Taehyun stifled Kai’s laughter in attempt to not wake a sleeping Beomgyu.

The air was crisp and clear, carrying with it a sense of tranquility that enveloped you all like a warm embrace.

In this moment, surrounded by the vast expanse of the night sky, you were reminded of the beauty of the universe.

No matter how overwhelming things had gotten, no matter how big and scary the world truly was— you would always find yourself back here in this familiar patch of grass with your friends.

With Soobin’s tired head on your shoulder and Beomgyu fast asleep on your thighs.

The gentle hum from Yeonjun and Taehyun accompanied by the squeeze Kai had given your hand.

The contented chatter of crickets and the slow, rhythmic song of cicadas.

If you could describe happiness, it would be that moment the universe had conjured up for you.

Served to you like some sort of cosmic apology for all that you have been through, and all that you had missed out on.

If you could take from all the possibilities, that moment would be the one you would always choose to bring into fruition.

And yet, you were well aware that the world spun too quickly and it turns too slowly as you waited and waited for the moment to transact into memory.

Eventually, the day would come when you could no longer tell the difference between this memory and a dream.

You found your own eyes growing heavy as your hand stilled in Beomgyu’s hair, coming up to your mouth to stifle a yawn.

Despite the acknowledgment that this, too, would end, you found the timeless connection of the stars omnipresent in your friendship.

As the stars watched over you all, unwillingly drifting to sleep together, a part of you confirmed what you had always known.

The six of you would always find each other, no matter if it was a dream or a memory.

There was nothing to grieve over in this moment. There was just love.

“Do you think there is the possibility of you and I?” The star asked.

“In this lifetime, is that too much to hope for?”

“There is something so delicate about time, so fragile.” The moon had started.

“If nothing ever comes of us, at least I have known this feeling, this wonderful sense of optimism that you have gifted to me.” The sun chimed in.

“You have given me something I can always keep close to me—to draw from in my darkest hour like a ray of unspent sunshine.” The moon commented.

“The love we share, it will be carried on by us through generations. It will be passed on and felt, the pieces of each other that we have borrowed and spent will be remembered.” The sun had finished.

“No matter what happens next, I will always be glad to know there is someone like you in the world.” The star said.

“Thank you for loving me.”

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ ID: P1HARMONY

genre key : (o) one-shot . fluff (f) . angst (a) . humor (h) . comfort (c) . (s) series . + personal favorites (♡)

CALLER ID: P1HARMONY.

✧ wip.

CALLER ID: choi taeyang.

✧ eternal sunshine (a) (f) (s) [WIP]

CALLER ID: yoon keeho.

✧ True romance. (f) (h) (s) [WIP]

CALLER ID: choi jiung.

✧ cool with you. (f) (h) (s) [WIP]

CALLER ID: hwang intak.

✧ In Bloom. (f) (h) (s) [WIP]

CALLER ID: haku shota.

✧ Slick Spider..? (f) (h) (s) (♡) [WIP]

CALLER ID: kim jongseob.

✧ 36 Flavors! (f) (h) (s) [WIP]

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ carnival.

Essentially becoming a shut-in due to your extreme fear of crowds, your friends are determined to take you out and show you how much fun things can be.

selected: [ yeonjun's song.] replay? ✧

જ⁀➴♡ wc 1k ✧ fluff , humor , comfort

As you inch closer to the front of the line, the rhythmic clinking of the cars ascending and descending fills your ears.

Standing before the entrance, the worker looked at you expectantly before glancing at the boys behind you. You turned to face them and they all gave you an encouraging smile, each one as sweet as the one before.

“So, who’s it gonna be?”

Looking at each of them, it felt almost impossible to pick just one. The feeling that everyone was waiting on you made you even more anxious, the idea of annoying the people around you getting your nerves up even more.

“Hey, Y/N it’s fine. Take your time.” Taehyun commented.

The small smile he gave you was enough to have you letting out a sigh of relief.

Catching Yeonjun’s eyes, a smile made its way onto your face as you motioned for him to come over.

Despite trying his best to act cool, it was obvious how excited he was by how quickly he chucked his panda plush at Kai and hustled over to you with a fist pump to the air.

“Hell yeah!”

His eagerness made you laugh, nerves subsided for the moment as the two of you stepped onto the open-air gondola, the familiar feeling of anticipation creeping up on you.

Yeonjun smiled at you as the attendant secured the safety bars and gave the two of you a friendly wink.

Embarrassed, you looked to your other friends who gave you both a thumbs up with toothy grins. “Ah… I’m not living this down, am I?”

Yeonjun gave you a confused look, a pout present on his lips. “What’s there to live down?”

With a lurch, the Ferris wheel began its slow ascent and you laughed nervously.

In regard to all of his friendly flirting, you tried your best not to fall for it but it had become increasingly hard as the years passed.

You wondered if your friends had picked up on that.

“Nothing…” your voice trailed off, wondering if he had picked up on it.

As the two of you were raised higher and higher, the world continued to move on down below you.

The sounds of music came up to meet you both and fill the silence, mixing with the gentle creaking of the ferris wheel as it turned.

“I missed you, Y/N.”

“Hm? You’ve been with us all night, Junnie.” The nickname made his cheeks flush as he prayed that you didn’t notice, clearing his throat.

“I mean, I invited you because I wanted to spend time with you but I know it’s been a lot for you. I hope you’re not mad at me.”

“Why would I be mad…?” Your voice trailed off, trying to understand what he had meant.

It didn’t take long before you came up with a theory, a small smile making its’ way onto your face as he avoided eye contact.

“Are you jealous, Yeonjun?”

After so many years of smooth talk and cheesy pick up lines, you had to admit that it was cute to see him a bit shaken simply due to not getting much attention from you.

Yeonjun groaned, “do you have to ask it like that? I’m not jealous.” He smiled, turning to you.

“Do you want me to be jealous?” His playful demeanor was back in no time and you hummed, tapping your chin gently in a display of pretend deep thinking.

“Hm… do I?” Your playing along was enough to make him scrunch his noise as he leaned in.

You jumped slightly in surprise and he laughed, “I was just gonna whisper something to you.”

“A little warning next time?”

Yeonjun mocked your action from earlier, tapping his chin gently before shaking his head.

“Hm… no!”

“Rude…” you mumbled, looking away.

“Well, since you won’t let me whisper it,” he started.

“I love you!” The carriage shook as you jumped again, heart following suite as your hands found their home over his mouth.

You shot him a glare and looked around, as if someone could have heard that from how high you were.

Yeonjun laughed as he pried your hands off of his mouth and your cheeks burned in embarrassment.

“What’s wrong with you?! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?!”

“I had to tell you some way.”

“There are better ways…” your mind was racing as you went over the three words.

How confidently he had yelled them to the world, unashamed and so certain.

It’s true that Yeonjun loved to get under your skin and make you unsteady, he found your startled expressions the cutest.

He wanted to make you question everything you had ever believed about love.

“Hey,” his voice was gentle as he placed a hand on your shoulder. “You don’t have to say it back.”

There wasn’t a moment that you had to think about it before repeating the words back to him.

This boy who made you feel reckless and out of control, despite all of your anxieties and fears.

The one that you were infuriatingly yet inexplicably drawn to in front of you with the cutest smile.

“I love you too, Yeonjun.”

And he smiled, pulling you into him and peppering kisses all over your face as if it were some form of skin care.

All the love he had been holding in finally being expressed in some small way beyond words.

Yeonjun didn’t want you to love him because he was good for you or because he said and did all the right things.

He wanted to be the best for you, the best friend he could be but the last thing he wanted was for you to love him because he seemed like everything you had been searching for.

Playful comments and flirtatious banter were only attempts to signal that to you, he wanted to be the one you didn’t see coming.

The giggled coming from you subsided as he finally came to a stop and stared at you, that dorky smile still on his face.

In the silence, you almost shrunk under his gaze as he let out a sigh of relief and put a hand over his heart.

After, he threw a fist in the air. “I totally won.”

You laughed, covering your face in embarrassment as the silence fell over the both of you again on your descent.

“Y/N, I don't want to be the reason why you can't sleep at night, from now on I want to be the one who lulls you to sleep.”

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ birthday.

Over the years, you’ve become jaded of your dream to find a love that would provide a home for your heart. One chance encounter is enough to change those days forever.

જ⁀➴♡ wc 2k ✧ fluff , huening kai x reader

As a child, you would drift in and out of libraries filled with dead poets and their musky scent. Pages upon pages filled with musings of love long lost, only immortalized on those pages that began to yellow and fade with time.

Most people found themself drawn to poems about love, searching for the words to describe what they all longed for— true romance.

Unlike them, you often found yourself fixating on the books that held the passage of time. Maybe there was something that the authors knew, something that would make it all make sense.

You held them in your hands and breathed them in wanting so much to be part of their world. To understand and learn from them— to find something to fight for.

The books told you one day your poetry would be whispered on the lips of your lover, that time would slow and all that would remain was your love.

It was within these pages that you found yourself believing that was the only thing time could never take away.

With this came the yearning and soon your birthday wishes were replaced with something of a much heavier weight.

Overtime, you grew to dislike your birthday. It wasn’t always like that, though.

One year you would love it, others you would hate it.

One thing that always remained was the feeling of loneliness, even while surrounded by people smiling and clapping.

Somehow your birthday felt excruciatingly long but never long enough.

The existential dread that would come with facing the fact you were getting older and empty self-made promises.

The ritual of blowing the candles, the cutting of the cake— the mess of cream and sponge in your mouth.

Always your favorite, never changing flavors overtime because who was it for, if not you?

The taste was sweet and familiar, like a newly formed wish, fashioned from all the ones you've made before.

Cake began to be the only thing you looked forward to as you got older, until eventually you stopped eating it altogether.

You don't remember the wishes you made in sequence or the things you ask for.

You only recall the ones you wanted the most, like the f/c scarf you saw in a shop’s display window when you were thirteen.

The admiration for how perfect the mannequin seemed to wear it, partnered with a perfectly coordinated outfit.

How deeply you yearned to wear it as flawlessly as it had, maybe then someone would see you and fall in love just how you did in that moment.

How deeply you felt its’ absence when you sat and stared at the litter of torn wrapping paper, empty new possessions littered around as you waited for the next one— only for it to never come.

And even though it was trivial to everyone else, your heart ached at its’ failing.

You found yourself wondering what the cause of such heartache was.

The books said that the greatest heartache came from loving another soul, beyond any doubt or reason.

It was with realizing this, you called yourself lucky to have never been in love with anyone as much as you’d been in love with that scarf.

As long as your love was directed towards the minuscule things, you would be safe.

Yet deep down, a part of you still yearned for someone to look at you and convince you to take that risk. So you would try over and over again, despite the promise of heartache, to find what you wanted.

To have someone to spend your birthday with.

After all, what was more poetic than one’s birthday?

A day spent celebrating your life and your future, reflecting on the past and wishing for your future.

Or facing the inevitable end, remembering your final destination.

And even though it wasn’t death you feared itself, the idea of facing it alone seemed devastating.

Your wishes always changed.

Like the year you turned fifteen and your best friend's mother got really sick.

Despite all the stories your friend had shared with you about their relationship, when you found her breaking down at the news: you felt that heartache again.

All you wanted was for her to be okay again.

It was that year you learned that shooting stars were either a blessing or a curse, depending on what you wanted to believe.

In your case, for that year, it seemed to be a curse.

On your seventeenth birthday, you found yourself falling in love for the first time. Or at least, you thought so in the moment.

Walking out of your front door anxiously fidgeting with the bottom of your shirt as you made your way to his car, only for him to meet you halfway.

Standing on the sidewalk where he brought you red roses and a promising smile.

“Happy birthday.” He said.

When he broke your heart, you cried for days.

Many birthdays came and went.

One by one, you loved them and just as easily, they were lost to you.

Somewhere amidst the carnations and mistletoe you slowly learned more about love than the books ever told.

Love was messy and almost unattainable. Love was seemingly temporary, but inevitably painful.

Little by little, your heart that was once a bouquet of hope and ecstasy blossomed into one of tenderness and betrayal.

You wondered if you would ever be able to shed that loneliness that came every year, always the same day.

Then you met him.

Your meeting was clumsy and unusual, just like him as he flashed you a friendly smile and uttered a quick apology.

You stood in the doorway with the box of a now crooked birthday cake, dumbfounded.

It wasn’t until he waved his hand in front of your face and asked if you were okay that you had snapped out of it.

“I’m… okay.” Your voice was hesitant, unsure of how to proceed.

Everything in your heart yelled at you to keep the conversation going— to say anything to keep him here, in this moment.

“I’m not so sure about my cake, though.”

Looking down to realize the cake that was once decorated with intricate roses and beautiful cursive lettering was now lopsided and smudged, he furrowed his eyebrows.

“We should fix that then.” And he smiled, signaling for you to follow him back into the bakery the two of you had collided in front of.

The two of you had waited in the line to the register to explain the situation and see if there was any hope for you to get a quick replacement.

A face straight out of a magazine, it was a miracle you hadn’t recognized him. Longing glances and the sound of whispers nearby should have tipped you off but to you, everything besides his voicr was simply white noise.

Holding your breath next to the handsome stranger, you found yourself hoping that the line would never move.

“Huening Kai, by the way.”

“Huh?”

“I said Huening Kai, that’s my name.” His voice was patient and even bubbly.

“Oh.” Was all you could say.

“I really hope your friends’ birthday doesn’t get ruined— I should have been watching where I was going, haha…” He sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck and you found yourself falling further into his boyish charms.

You felt much younger than you were, that feeling of your heart fluttering you only felt once when that boy had given you roses.

How special he must have been to give you that simply by smiling.

“It’s… my birthday, actually.” It took you a moment to admit and he must have noticed with how he nodded.

“Well, I hope I didn’t ruin your birthday then.”

“It’s really no problem, I’m not doing much anyways so… there really isn’t any need for you to get me a replacement.”

Pulling back on the idea, he seemed to pick up on the slight embarrassment you had.

“It was a beautiful cake, but it’s fine. Really.”

“A beautiful cake for a beautiful girl, right?”

The blood rushed to your cheeks and you swore you could have stumbled over from how lightheaded you became. And he simply laughed, quickly apologizing for his teasing.

“Haha I’m sorry, I just don’t know your name.”

In that line you stood, dressed in a messy accumulation of whatever clothes you could find in a rush out of your apartment and your hair tussled about.

You certainly didn’t feel beautiful but you found yourself believing his words, despite it all. Maybe you were the tiniest bit hopeful.

“Huh? Oh, it’s Y/N…”

“Right. Happy birthday, Y/N!”

You weren’t sure if he knew it then but in that moment, all of those wasted birthdays seemed worth it because you had endured them to get to that moment.

The moment he came into your life, the best birthday gift you could ever ask for.

Without even knowing who he was prior, Huening Kai was the first man you fell in love with, completely and beyond reason, beyond any shadow of doubt you knew. You finally understood was the books spoke of.

He brought you dandelions each date.

You asked him why, if he thought they were pretty.

“They’re as pretty as you~” He’d joke.

The real reason, you later found out, was so you would never want for wishes.

Even on birthdays, he began to bring you that weed.

Somehow, you found the weed more romantic than any flowers you’d been given before simply for the meaning behind it.

A secret meaning just for the two of you.

It wasn’t a long time before the two of you had given yourselves to each other completely, jumping in head first.

It was your first birthday with him.

You never explained to him your distaste for your birthday but it didn’t stop him from encouraging the two of you to celebrate together.

Until then, it had always been the same every year. As soon as the first match was struck, the smell of burning takes you backward through your memory.

It stopped you right at that moment on that warm night, after your first heartbreak where you watched the first trickle of melting wax hit the icing and you found yourself crying for the love you thought you had lost.

Now there you were, the wax melting ever so slowly again, pouring down to deface the beautiful cake he had ordered for you. Combing through your memory, you tried to find something to wish for.

Something new or something old, it didn’t matter.

But you couldn't think of a single thing you had wanted— because he was standing there, in the lickering light, asking you to make a wish.

Messy blonde hair in his face as he leaned into his hoodie with that smile, the one you fell in love with had you holding your breath in the candlelight.

You looked deep into his eyes and saw the very best of yourself reflected back, all with love.

And you knew: he loved you, beyond reason, beyond doubt, and with no hope of salvation.

You knew your being happy was an anomaly and no one knew you better than he.

But for once, your resolve was firm and without avoiding his gaze, without crossing your fingers behind your back; or the other things you did when speaking untruthfully—you told him you were happy.

On your birthday, warm in the candlelight where your heart felt as if it were floating away.

The rain doesn’t discriminate between day or night and either will hold its own light and dark, you had learned over the years.

Through years of crying in bedroom closets, office cubicles and club bathrooms: the rain never discriminates.

You smiled nervously, feeling almost guilty for not having a wish. Despite this, you blew out the candles.

But as you went to confess your strange lack of want for anything materialistic or otherwise, he cut you off in that same playful voice.

“I love you, Y/N.”

And it was then you knew in your heart, you would always look back on that time-not without a sense of melancholy— that it was the happiest in your life.

Birthday or not, it didn’t matter anymore as long as you were with him.

After that, he never pressured you to celebrate again.

Some years the two of you had your cake and others, when your anxiety of mortality crept up on you, the two of you would treat it the same as any other day.

Of course it was the same as any other day but not without the extra caresses and gentle ‘I love you’s.

Kai hadn’t completely changed you or somehow healed that broken part of you by gifting you dandelions and pinky promises but that didn’t matter.

And now this was the year you were sure you would spend the rest of your lives together. The two of you had fallen completely in love, for the first and last time with each other.

This year where there weren't any candles— just the two of you walking late at night through the city streets with your heart in each other’s hands.

How thankful you were that you had given yourself to the first stranger who called you beautiful on your birthday.

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ