PHONING... Carnival.

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ carnival.

Essentially becoming a shut-in due to your extreme fear of crowds, your friends are determined to take you out and show you how much fun things can be.

જ⁀➴♡ wc 4k ✧ fluff , humor , comfort , txt ot5 x reader

The carnival bursted at the seams with life under the moonlit sky. If your eyes had lost focus for even a moment it would fade into a kaleidoscope of lights over the bustling crowd.

The ambience was almost overwhelming to you, someone who didn’t know the world could be so loud outside of the safety net of your headphones.

Amidst the laughter and music, your group of friends had somehow found you waiting by the entrance pathway awkwardly. And suddenly, the scent of cotton candy and popcorn became the backdrop for your exciting night.

You found yourself anxious for what the night would bring, unaware of just how excited they were as well.

You, who walked the earth freely without your feet ever truly touch the ground. To anyone who passed by it seemed as if you floated by with the wind.

Many hands would reach for you but you, who were completely unaware, remained unanchored.

Belonging to no one, to nothing, to nowhere. Existing only in a world of music, your own little world.

It seemed that you only awarded your attention to people who you thought truly deserved it, so when you had agreed to go to the carnival with the group of boys they’d been ecstatic.

It had been a shock, in all honesty. Not for a lack of interest: you had been friends with them all for a long while, but you weren’t too keen on loud blowout events such as these and instead shied away from them. Your willingness to try and enjoy the night with them had them feeling grateful.

Soobin and Taehyun had been the most understanding initially, preferring much quiet nights in themselves with their own tendency to get annoyed by the recklessness of those around them.

Beomgyu understood but he had brought it up a few times before you had agreed, insisting that he would win you all the prizes on the fairgrounds if you came.

Kai hadn’t pressured you about it all considering he wasn’t a fan of the rides himself, not really wanting to go at all but tagging along to win some new plushies for his collection.

Yeonjun had bugged you, much more often than he would ever admit, but he couldn’t help it seeing as he just needed his best friend to come or the night would have been ruined.

Considering your distaste for these kinds of overwhelming events, you were fairly hard for the boys to make plans with. They were almost always busy doing something so when they did try to spend time together, it was usually doing fun stuff like this.

When they met you though, they were quick to recognize you for what you really were— a free spirit, a wandering star. Hard to pin down.

Yeonjun’s arm fit right on your shoulder like he was made to be there. And Kai’s grip on your sleeve didn’t feel like any extra weight, it somehow felt like an extension of you.

Taehyun’s laugh had become your favorite sound, along with the company of Soobin and Beomgyu’s constant teasing and bickering.

You grew to love your friends, any and all parts of them— you were sure that you would love them always, no matter where you were scattered throughout the galaxy.

And you had showed them what it means to hold something you can never really hold on to, always managing to slip away just in time before their confessions could stumble out.

“Looking good, Y/N! For someone who didn’t want to come you look like you put some effort in for me.”

His arm found its’ home on your shoulder as always, shifting his weight onto your frame and you rolled your eyes.

“For us?” Taehyun emphasized, waving to the other boys who followed.

Yeonjun’s eyes left you as he looked back at them and pouted out his lips with an annoyed look. “Eh.”

Confused, you gently pulled his arm off of you and turned to face him fully, leaning against the fencepost you stood at.

“I didn’t do anything different, you’re delusional.”

“Ignore him, he’s teasing you.” Soobin said before flashing you a small smile, hands placed in his pockets. “You do look nice though, like usual.”

Maybe it was the endless chatter of the people around you or the fact that said people who were rushing past you could probably hear the heartfelt compliments that had you flustered.

“Ah… thank you.”

Beomgyu fake gagged, hitting Soobin’s shoulder. “You guys aren’t subtle at all…”

Kai nodded in agreement. “It’s making me sick and I haven’t even had any cotton candy yet.”

Yeonjun’s eyes widened and he quickly waved at Beomgyu, “Eh— yeah and no way you’re gonna!” It was almost like he immediately entered himself as a substitute for their parental figures in that moment.

You found yourself hiding behind your hand as you laughed at his bewildered facial expression.

“Remember the last time? You spewed that junk all over me, I went back home looking like a troll!”

The topic of food had your mind wandering for a moment as you felt your stomach growl. Memories of going to fairs with your family as a child had hit you as you remembered what you used to enjoy before you shut away.

“…I’m kind of craving fried dough, actually.”

Taehyun turned to you, “we should get snacks, then.”

About to accept his offer, you nodded only to be cut off by Kai.

“No way, games and rides first and snacks later.”

Soobin shrugged, “why don’t we just get snacks halfway through the rides?”

Yeonjun let out an annoyed huff at your lack of attention, “yeah, yeah… fine. Let’s go.”

The six of you began making your way in, the colors bursting to life like a technicolor dream. In your opinion, it was all too much but the vibrant tents and swirling rides did pique your interest.

Taehyun snickered from beside you, “worried Beomgyu’s gonna get into a cotton candy coma again, huh?”

Beomgyu almost seemed embarrassed by what he was talking about as he turned to you with an expression of what seemed like mock offense. “It was’t that bad!”

“Tell that to my hair...” Yeonjun grumbled, nudging Soobin to switch places with him at your side.

“Whatever, your hairs fried to hell anyways!” Beomgyu said in a teasing tone.

Soobin gave Yeonjun a smile and instead turned toward you next to him, causing him to pout.

“Hey, why don’t we test our luck at the ring toss?“

You thought about it for a moment, glancing over at the tent to inspect the rewards. “For what? A goldfish?”

He shrugged.

Seeming as you ultimately came up with nothing of value from that tent, you turned your attention to the one next to it and smiled.

“Look, there’s a huge penguin plush. Kai needs it!”

Kai perked up at the mention of himself and looked over to the tent, eyes widening a bit at the size of the prize you were looking at. Despite that, he laughed.

“What? No he doesn’t, he’s practically drowning in th—“ you rolled your eyes at Yeonjun’s arguing.

“Wow, Yeonjun… don’t you want to make Kai happy? What if that penguin plush is the final one he ever gets? What if a meteor hits us right now? And we all die, sad and alone with no penguin to accompany us at our bitter end.”

You moved in front of the group of boys and grabbed Kai’s hand to lead him toward the tent.

“He doesn’t need it, Y/N. There’s a difference between need and want—“

“Okay, mom.” Beomgyu snickered and Yeonjun’s cheeks heated up out of embarrassment. All he wanted was to spend time with you, not do whatever this was.

“I do. I need it, or I’m gonna die.” Kai said, playing along with you. “Sad and alone.”

Putting on a panicked tone, you jumped back and pulled Yeonjun forward, pushing him in front of you as you shoved him toward the booth.

“Yeonjun!! He’s gonna die! Hurry, hurry! To the basketball booth!”

“Yah— Hey! Stop shoving me! And stop being so morbid!”

Next to you, Kai leaned on Yeonjun as he let out a dramatic groan. “Ugh… Y/N I don’t think I have much longer…”

Your eyes widened, “oh, no! Kai?! Nurse!! Nurse—!!”

Finally giving into your shenanigans, Yeonjun couldn’t help but crack a smile as he pushed Kai off of his shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah. I get it. Just stop yapping, you’re gonna get us dragged to the medical tent before Beomgyu even overdoses.”

“I’m not overdosing this time!!” Beomgyu called out behind you three.

When the six of you reach the tent, you wait patiently for the other patrons to leave with their prizes before you stood, motioning for Yeonjun to go. “You’re not gonna try?” He asked.

You laughed, “yeah. No way. Never, actually. Never been good at sports, don’t even wanna try.”

“Y/N… the hoops right there. It’s not even that far of a distance.” Soobin said.

Shooting him a glare, you motioned toward the booth. “Fine then, you try.” He jutted out his lips for a moment as if in deep thought then shrugged, situating himself next to Yeonjun.

The carny handed them their first basketballs before activating the rig, the hoops suddenly moving across the board in front of them.

Kai shot you a look and you shrugged.

Yeonjun was fairly confident that he could get some in, considering that he was arguably the best out of them at basketball.

Even with Soobin’s height, he was sure he could beat him.

Unfortunately for Yeonjun, your cheers of encouragement found him a bit too determined to try hard and impress you and he completely missed each shot, losing to Soobin by one single goal.

One that only fell into the hoop because Yeonjun’s ball had hit it directly into it.

That definitely hurt his ego a bit.

“Ouch! Cringe shot…”

“Thanks, Beomgyu.”

“You’re welcome!”

“So… what was the strategy there? Just wild flinging?” Taehyun asked and Yeonjun just let out a nervous laugh. “I guess I’m just off my game today.”

“Well… guess I’ll die.” You giggled at this and turned to Kai, raising your fist. “We’ll get you one of them later, promise.” He smiled and bumped his fist with yours.

“Plus, it’s not Yeonjun’s fault. Soobin just has such good luck when it comes to games, right?” You asked, following behind them as they started to walk.

“Or I’m just the best!” Soobin called after.

The scent of fried delights and sugary treats was thick in the air once more, the smell of more savory things than sweet making you wonder if you were now approaching the actual food area.

The mechanical whirring of the rides had you raising your voice as you all talked, “what about that?” You called.

They followed your eyes to see a few game machines lined up, you making your way over there.

“She’s doing really well,” Taehyun said happily.

Yeonjun nodded. “She is, isn’t she?”

Standing in front of the carnival games "Whack-a-Mole Madness," you poked at the buttons before realizing you had to enter a quarter.

Embarrassingly enough, before you could scramble around in your bag, Taehyun had come up and inserted a coin for you. You smiled sheepishly and gave him a quick thank you as he nodded, moving to the machine next to you.

“I wanna try,” Beomgyu exclaimed, rushing to the machine on your other side. “Here.” Taehyun reached over you, handing Beomgyu a coin as he thanked him.

The three of you grabbed the foam mallet and the machine began to ding wildly, colors flashing as you were tasked with squashing pesky mechanical moles as they popped up randomly from their burrows.

It was fun for a few moments before you found yourself growing irrationally annoyed at the moles that you kept missing. “Teach them a lesson, Y/N!”

With each successful whack, lights flash, bells ring, and the mole retreats into hiding, only to pop up again in another spot. You were doing fairly well, or so you thought, until you turned to Taehyun to see him expertly wack each one back down with ease.

Your eyes widened a bit, “you’re so good at it?!”

He raised an eyebrow at you. “You think so? Here, I’ll help you—“ Taehyun put down the mallet on his machine as moles began to pop up all over, similarly to yours had while you’d been distracted.

Taehyun moved behind you but before he could grab your hands to show you, the two of you were distracted by a loud dinging sound.

Beomgyu threw the mallet down hard at the machine, whacking every single mole at a feverish speed. The dinging came as the time limit ended and he laughed loudly, throwing the mallet. “HAH! I WON!”

You laughed as he jumped back to the other boys, cheering as Soobin gave him a high five.

“Nice, Beomgyu!”

Satisfied with the bragging rights that come from being crowned the (unofficial) Whack-a-Mole champion of the carnival, Beomgyu kept the smile on his face as he dramatically spun on his heel to face you. “I think you know what this calls for.”

You raised an eyebrow at him but before you could ask, he cut you off. “Cotton candy.”

Yeonjun’s eyes widened, almost in horror. “Aw, man…”

Soobin snickered, “it was doomed to happen eventually.”

“Eh, whatever. His body, his choice. You’re gonna be the one giving him a piggy back ride when he complains about his stomach.”

“Nope. Not it. Kai.”

“What?! Why me?”

“Your piggy back rides are the best.” Soobin said in a matter of fact tone.

“So? Don’t sign me up for that.” Kai argued, though everyone was well aware that if anyone actually needed it, he wouldn’t hesitate to pick them up.

“I am a grown man.” Beomgyu said with a straight face.

“With the stomach issues of a teenage girl.” Taehyun added.

Soobin gently tapped you on the shoulder, causing you to turn toward him. The smile he gave you was so sweet, you almost lost your appetite for anything else. “You wanted fried dough, right? I’ll get you some,”

Growing a bit worried at your friends beginning to separate, you grabbed onto his sleeve. “You’re all going?”

He shook his head and laughed, ruffling your hair. “We’ll be back in a few.”

Scrunching your nose up in annoyance, you began to flatten it back down. Kai lingered back as they went off, not wanting to leave you alone.

Grateful for this, you grabbed his hand and gave him a small smile. He gave yours a squeeze in return.

The two of you trailed after the others just a bit to meet in the middle, stopping at a new game booth curiously.

Soon, the others returned to see you and Kai standing side by side, armed with water guns and a shared determination. The look on the two of your faces was priceless as Beomgyu took multiple pictures with an itchy trigger finger.

The two of you were too locked in, bursting as many balloons as possible before the clock eventually ran out.

The colorful balloons bobbing and swaying on the rotating platform, you were determined to make yourself up to the Carnival Gods.

You and Kai raced against each other, trying to outshoot and outscore the other.

When the bell signaled the end of it and the final balloon burst you happily threw the gun back onto the counter and cheered. The memories of your shared fun were cherished long after the last balloon had burst.

“Yeaaah, that’s it Y/N!” You didn’t have to turn to see it was Yeonjun who had always cheered for you. Suddenly you found yourself embarrassed by how freely you expressed your excitement.

Yeonjun stood munching on a churro with a panda plush in his hands that you assumed had been the reasoning for their prolonged return.

Soobin handed you the fried dough and you gave him a quick smile of appreciation before biting into it, the warmth elevating the taste in your mouth.

Turning back to the booth, the carny stood with an expectant look on her face and you felt your face heat up once again.

“Oh! S-Sorry! Um.. prizes, right.”

Your eyes scanned them all, unfortunately not finding the particular animal you were looking for. “Hm…”

“Molang!” Kai called out, pointing to exactly that. A single Molang plush tied up by the wire in the upper corner of the booth. “They’re trapped…” You said breathlessly before motioning towards it. “Yeah! Molang!”

She laughed, pulling out a stepping stool to untie it for you and handed you the giant Molang which immediately found its’ home in Kai’s arms.

The night went along like this, fairly smooth without many slip ups. The occasional bickering between members occurred as usual but it was all in a playful manner. You found yourself feeling eternally grateful that you had come out for this night with them.

Everywhere you looked, there were games of skill and chance, beckoning with promises of prizes and fleeting glory.

In a place where thrill-seekers and romantics alike lost themselves in the magic of the moment, swept away on a whirlwind of adrenaline and wonder: all they could do was focus on you.

It wasn’t as if the group didn’t know of their shared feelings for you, in fact it had become a common topic of conversation in the hangouts they all had in Yeonjun’s room.

They all liked you: that was obvious to everyone but you.

What was even more obvious, though, was the fact that they couldn’t all confess to you. That would be much too overwhelming and confusing so rather than doing that, they all agreed to stay friends with you until they got their own moment.

Even with their feelings for you, they refused to argue over you. Besides some small jealousies here and there, they still loved each other dearly and refused to let any feelings ruin their friendship with their brothers.

Finally, it was time for the rides.

Striding towards the towering roller coaster, a mix of excitement and nervous energy coursed through your veins.

Yeonjun must have noticed and he nudged you, “it’ll be okay.”

You wanted to believe that but seeing how he himself had nervously gulped, you gave him a deadpanned expression and hoped that the ground would open up and swallow you whole.

The line snaked its way through a maze of metal rails, each twist and turn bringing you closer to the heart-pounding thrill—or rather, the fear awaiting at the ride's entrance. The distant screams of riders echo through the air, heightening the adrenaline.

Soobin seemed to pick up on Yeonjun’s inability to comfort you and made his way over from his place beside the line.

“I can sit with you if you want, Y/N. That way you can hold onto me if it gets too much.

The thought of clinging to him, as embarrassing as it was, did seem comforting.

As if clinging to him would somehow keep you grounded hundreds of feet above the ground.

Considering Soobin wasn’t initially going to even get on the ride, you tilted your head slightly. “Are you sure?” He just nodded with that same smile. You found yourself admiring his teeth.

Eventually, it was your turn to climb aboard. Taking your seat in the streamlined car, you felt the unfamiliar click of the safety harness locking into place, securing the two of you for the adventure ahead.

“It’s really not all that scary,” it almost sounded like he was trying to convince himself now and you wanted to laugh.

“You’re already high off the ground so obviously it’s not much for you.”

He raised an eyebrow at you, shooting you a judgmental look. “I’m not that tall.”

You rolled your eyes, “sure.” Beomgyu reached from the car behind you, grabbing onto your shoulders which caused you to jump as you turned back to him.

Half expecting him to make a joke about the situation, something about the railway coming undone or something. Instead he gave you a gentle smile, similar to the one he would give you at the end of a long day. One filled with comfort.

“You got this.” And somehow, you believed him.

The attendants give a final thumbs-up, and with a jolt, the coaster lurched forward, leaving the platform behind. You instantly closed your eyes as you felt a rush of air hit your face and the butterflies overtook your stomach.

As the coaster began its ascent, the world fell away beneath you, the clatter of the tracks drowned out by the pounding of your heart.

“I cannot believe you guys got me on this damn thing.” Finally prying your eyes open, you turned to glare at Soobin finding him already shooting you that goofy smile with those irritatingly cute dimples.

“It’s not our fault you’d do anything for us!” He called out.

With each passing second, you climbed higher and higher, the anticipation building with every foot gained.

“Plus, who would want to miss this view?”

At the peak, you paused for a moment, suspended in mid-air, taking in the breathtaking view spread out before you.

And you wanted to argue back, tell him that you regretted getting on the ride and regretted coming altogether. But you couldn’t because as you looked down at all the neon lights flashing in the darkness and how beautifully they blended together, you realized he was right.

The sight was beautiful, but it was even more beautiful because you were seeing it with them.

The wind rushed past, tugging at your hair and clothes, as you braced yourself for the exhilarating descent.

And then, with a sudden plunge, you were off, hurtling down the steep drop at breakneck speed. Your screams quickly turned into laughs that mixed with the others.

The world blurred around you as the coaster twisted and turned, banking sharply around curves and rocketing through loops.

Despite your fear being overtaken by joy, you still found yourself clinging to Soobin’s arm as you laughed. His face held a strange look of pride and admiration for you— not that you had looked to notice.

The force of gravity had you both pinned you to your seats, adrenaline coursing through your veins as you surrendered yourself to the wild ride.

As the coaster finally screeched to a halt back at the station, you found yourself breathless and exhilarated, a wide grin plastered across your face.

The rush of adrenaline was still coursing through your veins as you and the others stepped off the ride, pumped up and ready to take on whatever thrills the carnival had to offer next.

Approaching the carousel, it greeted you all with the enchanting melody of its whimsical music. You found yourself drawn closer with each playful note.

It was certainly a step down from the roller coaster but you still insisted on going on it. They didn’t bother to argue, just glad you were enjoying yourself.

“This is like going on the zip line and then going straight to the teacups.” Beomgyu commented as you inspected the vibrant carousel horses, each one adorned with intricate details and bright colors.

“Don’t be a hater. I just want to admire their ‘timeless dance’.” You said jokingly as you pointed to them simply moving up and down.

“We can just make a ‘timeless dance’ by ourselves,” he argued, grabbing your hand and you shook your head, pushing him back from you gently with a laugh.

As you all stepped onto the platform, the air was heavy with the scent of freshly painted wood. You chose a random white horse, running your hand along its smooth surface and felt the cool, polished wood beneath your fingertips.

In truth, you mostly wanted to ride the carousel to admire the art of it. It’s true that you had a fear of these dramatic rides but this was the exception, it was something nice and sweet that reminded you of your childhood somehow. It felt nostalgic for all of you as you all climbed aboard.

With a graceful sweep of the floor as everyone lifted their feet to stabilize themselves, the carousel began to spin. The platform beneath your feet started to rotate, and you leaned your head on the pole you clung to, turning to Beomgyu.

“I think I might fall asleep on this thing.” He said.

“Thanks for coming, anyways.”

He paused for a moment at the sincerity in your voice, looking you over as you blinked anticipating his response. “Nah, no way I can sleep now.” He said simply.

“Not when you look at me like that.”

Pausing for a moment as his words hit you, you brushed it off with another laugh as you hid your face in your hands and turned forward to the others conversing as they rode.

Around and around you went, rising and falling in time with the music, the wind whipping past and you found yourself laughing.

The cheerful chime of the carousel's music box almost sounded like a symphony.

You caught glimpses of the carnival unfolding around you: children with sticky fingers were clutching oversized lollipops, couples stealing kisses beneath the twinkling lights, and families laughing and smiling as they shared the magic of the moment.

It made your heart swell as you came to realize exactly what you had been missing and how lucky you were to have friends to help you come out of your shell.

And then, all too soon, the carousel began to slow, bringing your ride to a gentle stop. Slightly disappointed, you furrowed your eyebrows together.

Beomgyu excitedly jumped down and held his hand up for you to grab as you climbed down.

In that moment, a sense of contentment washed over you, lingering like the fading strains of the carousel's music.

With a smile on your face and a skip in your step, you stepped back into the bustling carnival, carrying with you the memories of the ride.

You all stepped into the queue for the Ferris wheel, anticipation hanging thick in the air. The towering structure loomed above, spokes reaching for the sky, promising a bird's-eye view of all the chaos below.

Looking up, you found yourself growing as anxious as you were excited.

“Huh…?” While staring, you realized that the ferris wheel had only seated two people, like the roller coaster.

Unlike the roller coaster though, the seats were separated with quite a distance between each other, meaning that you and whoever you sat with would be alone.

For some reason, your heart jumped at this. The idea of being alone with someone so close.

“There’s only room for two people?” You asked, even though you knew the answer.

Taehyun laughed and nodded, “you didn’t know?”

Frowning, you shrugged. “I thought that maybe it would be one of those big ones that sat everyone…”

He shook his head, “sadly not.”

As you inch closer to the front of the line, the rhythmic clinking of the cars ascending and descending fills your ears.

Standing before the entrance, the worker looked at you expectantly before glancing at the boys behind you.

You turned to face them and they all gave you an encouraging smile, each one as sweet as the one before.

“So, who’s it gonna be?”

[Choice 1: Soobin.] ★ [Choice 2: Yeonjun.] [Choice 3: Beomgyu.] ★ [Choice 4: Taehyun.] [Choice 5: Kai.] ★ [Choice 6: None.]

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ Something.

Dancing with Taehyun on the ice was your favorite past time but recently he’s seeming more and more distracted.

જ⁀➴♡ wc 2k ✧ fluff

As the frosty air enveloped the ice rink, two figure skaters stood side by side, their hearts pounding in unison with the rhythm of the music.

You and Taehyun were a team, bound together by a presumed shared passion for the sport and a bond forged through countless hours of practice and dedication.

Originally partnered through word of mouth between both of your coaches, the two of you initially felt dragged down by the other.

It wasn’t that Taehyun was particularly upset that the two of you had been partnered together: you were both incredibly talented and if there was anyone in your guys’ rink that was suitable to be his partner, it was you.

Neither of you had ever worked with a partner before— that was where the hesitancy had stemmed from at first.

Despite this, both of you had the same goals for future competitions and got together with your coaches for a tryout.

As the music began to play, the two of you glided onto the ice with perfectly fluid movements. Each twist and turn was executed with precision, albeit a bit stiff at the time, your bodies began to move as one in perfect harmony with the music.

The butterflies in your stomach had their wings torn apart, stomped out with the blade of your skates as your mind reminded you what the two of you were working toward.

The last thing you could afford was having a crush on your partner— especially Taehyun with his eyes thats depths seemed to hold the secrets of the universe in them.

Definitely not.

In the fluorescent light of the rink, shimmering with a soft, warm hue, radiating warmth with every glance despite his focused expression.

When they meet yours, they drew you in as if you were falling into a flame.

Putting all of your faith and trust into this total stranger, he threw you into the air with you spinning in the air as your heart felt it could burst out of your chest.

When you landed from the perfectly executed spin, you locked eyes with Taehyun and the two of you reached out to grab each other’s hands.

The two of you were solidified as the perfect match.

In the hushed serenity of the empty ice rink, Taehyun stepped onto the glistening surface with a deep breath, his blades slicing through the smooth ice with a soft whisper.

The air was cool and crisp, carrying the faint scent of freshly resurfaced ice and salt.

He came intending to practice for the event but instead found his thoughts full of you.

Over the years, the two of you had entered an endless amount of competitions and won each time so it was frustrating that suddenly he couldn’t get you off of his mind.

With a deep breath, he began his routine, effortlessly moving across the ice. Each step was deliberate, every gesture filled with intention as he hummed to himself to fill the silence and distract himself from thoughts of you.

You and how effortlessly breathtaking you were.

It would be his luck that you had wandered in, standing just outside the rink watching him practice. A small smile tugged at your lips as you leaned against the protective glass with a knock and a wink.

Noticing you from the corner of his eye, a similar expression finds it onto his face as he can only think of how ridiculous you were to come here so late just as he had.

Maybe that was why you had been the perfect partners. Shared determination aside, there were no others as dedicated as you were.

When the two of you were passionate about something, you put your all into it.

As you watched Taehyun, you lost yourself in the rhythm as he executed jumps and spins with precision, his movements confident as he pushes himself to the limits of his skill.

In the quiet moments between the jumps and spins, you found he looked the most beautiful.

Taehyun didn’t want to be a figure skater. You knew this, it was one of the first things he had ever confided in you about.

You didn’t understand at first— this was all you ever wanted, the idea that someone as good as him wasn’t even interested in it at all was a complete surprise.

When you heard his voice for the first time, though, you understood. Taehyun was born to perform, perhaps not in this particular way, but you were sure that he was.

Despite your encouragement to pursue his love for singing, he hadn’t made anymore comments about it since. You felt disappointed for him, hearing his hums in his day to day throughout practices.

He breathed music.

If Taehyun looked as beautiful as he did now doing something that he wasn’t interested in, you couldn’t imagine how he would look on stage.

Watching him over the years: you had realized just how deep the love you had for him ran. As much as you wanted to deny it, it had always been there.

Watching him perform was like witnessing star after star exploding like fireworks, as you fixed your gaze light-years into the sky.

To him, you were everything on the ice but to you? You were only a pinprick of dust compared to him.

You often found yourself daydreaming about what it would be like if you had admitted these feelings to him outside of the rink, during your casual meet ups at cafes to discuss schedules and practice.

You also wondered if he had someone he returned to once you left. The first time you felt his presence, you began joining the dots in the sky, wondering if your stars could ever align.

As Taehyun skated across the ice, his movements become a reflection of his innermost thoughts and emotions, face a mask of concentration.

It was true that Taehyun wasn’t as passionate in his skating as you had initially believed upon meeting him. His skill was simply due to his consistent training, not any specific desire to succeed inside of him.

Though over the years, he had grown to love skating just as he had grown to love you.

Your passion and love for what you did was infectious and the smile that you would give him when the two of you nailed everything exactly how you wanted— that had become his new motivation.

With each practiced turn and twist, his dedication to get it right fueled his every step. The ice beneath his feet became a canvas of sorts.

As the routine drew to a close, he comes to a graceful stop at the center of the rink, his chest heaving with exertion as he looked over to see if you were still watching. Hoping.

When he saw you waving against the glass with a proud smile, his heart had skipped a beat and he almost swore he could have fallen dead right there.

In that solitary moment of practice he had found not only fulfillment but also you: his sense of purpose that somehow managed to break free from the confines of the rink.

In the hushed backstage area of the ice rink, you and Taehyun stood side by side, hearts racing with anticipation and nerves.

“We’re gonna do good, right?” You asked, voice wavering with a sudden uncertainty.

He smiled as he finished tying the ribbon in your hair neatly. “We’re gonna do great.”

The two of you were a study in contrasts: him tall and statuesque, you much more petite agile, yet together the two of you formed a perfectly formidable team.

“Right. Great. We’re gonna do great!” You said, a nervous laugh at the end of your sentence as you clapped your hands together.

Taehyun took a deep breath as he gently grabbed your shoulders, turning you to look at him. You hated when he did this, suddenly feeling lightheaded under his gaze.

“You’re gonna do great, Y/N. I’m not gonna let you fall.” He smiled, the warmest smile you had ever seen.

When you had first met Taehyun, he seemed so convinced that he was as cold as ice. To you, it was very obvious he wasn’t by his eyes alone and the kindness they held when he looked at you.

No matter how cold he may think he is, his love was the warmest of all.

Confidence growing, you straightened your back and nodded with a determined look.

“We got this.”

As the two of you laced up your skates, your movements were focused and deliberate, each knot tied with care.

Even before getting on the ice, your heart was beating wildly in your ears.

Another exchange of knowing glances were made, eyes reflecting a mixture of excitement and apprehension on your end as you prepared to take the ice.

With final adjustments to both of your costumes, you finally enter into the rink.

Stepping out onto the ice, the chill sent a familiar shiver down your spine. The lights above casted a glow over the ice, illuminating the stage for the upcoming performances.

As the two of you started onto the ice, graceful as ever, your bodies moved in the perfect synchronization everyone expected.

In the flurry of activity, there was a quiet confidence that radiated from the two of you, a belief in each other that gives you courage.

Repeating Taehyun’s words in your voice certainly helped to calm your nerves since you trusted him to follow through on his promise as he had many times before.

From how seamlessly he executed everything, it truly was undeniable that he was meant to be in the spotlight.

Even if he hadn’t been your partner, there was no way you could take your eyes off of him.

As the haunting melody of a violin fills the air, the two of you created a mesmerizing tableau of power on the rink.

The music swelled, your blades carving intricate patterns into the ice with each effortless glide.

Bodies intertwined in a delicate dance that told a story of loss, redemption and anything else that the audience was looking for in their current state. Telling the story they wanted to hear.

To you, it told the story of two kids who had fallen in love with the ice and each other.

Your skill was clear to every pair of peering eyes as you blended elements of classical ballet with the athleticism of figure skating. Your form was perfect, executing every move textbook.

As you soared through the air with each breathtaking leap, Taehyun found himself holding his breath as well.

The moments the two of you skate side by side, eyes meeting in a silent exchange of camaraderie, his heart beats along with the rhythm of the music.

As the music reached its crescendo, you come together in the final, breathtaking lift, Taehyun’s hands lifting you high into the air with effortless strength.

Catching your breath mid air, you scanned the crowd while doing your best to hide your expression.

For a moment, the two of you seemed suspended in time, bodies silhouetted against the backdrop of the ice rink, before you descended gracefully back to the ice in a perfect landing.

As the final notes of the music faded away, the audience erupts into applause, their cheers echoed off the walls of the rink as they rise to their feet in a standing ovation.

It felt as if your heart was going to burst and the stoic expression falls away from your face as you let out the nervous laugh you had been holding in, turning to Taehyun.

Instantly his eyes found yours and he laughed along with you, high off of the cheers and praises being yelled toward the two of you.

Amidst this adulation of the crowd, Taehyun gave you a knowing smile and your heart did a flip once again.

You knew that your bond was stronger than ever in the wake of this specific performance as he pulled you in for a hug, the cheers growing even louder.

Something changed in the way he held you.

Making way for the other couples to perform, you and Taehyun stood at the edge of the ice, waiting for your return to the spotlight.

Your eyes glistened with admiration as you watched the next pair, and then the next. Cheering out words of affirmation and encouragement to any and all competitors, Taehyun laughed.

“You really do love this, don’t you?”

You turned to him. “Did you ever doubt it?”

Standing from the bench he was at, he looked down at you and took a step forward. Unsure of how you would react if he hugged you so spontaneously, he instead grabbed your hands in his.

“I’d never doubt you.”

The moment of solidarity, hands clasped tightly together in a silent vow of support.

“Thank you for sticking around,” you started.

He nodded.

“But I want you to do what makes you happy, Taehyun. Not me.”

He furrowed his eyebrows together for a moment, an unreadable expression making its way onto his face.

“You make me happy. Being here with you, makes me happy.”

In that moment, it was confirmed in your mind that something had shifted. Maybe you had always known that the two of you weren’t just two individuals competing against the world.

It was after the competition, trophy in hand, that the two of you stood outside of the building.

Everything that had felt so scary— so final, was now over. The adrenaline had faded and the crowds had dispersed, any stragglers offering their congratulations as they passed you by.

The moonlight casted a soft glow over the two of you as you hugged the trophy close to you. The trophy that you and Taehyun had won, together.

“Taehyun,” you started.

“When I said that I wanted you to do what makes you happy… I meant it.”

Taehyun chuckled, his hand reaching for yours again. Instead of a grand confession, he expressed his love with gentle touches.

“I meant what I said, too.”

Your heart was overflowing with emotion and you looked at the ground, kicking at the concrete with your sneakers. Somehow you felt exposed outside of the rink dressed down like this, yet, Taehyun had always insisted you looked just as beautiful.

“You make me happy.”

If you were pressed against each other, you would have felt your hearts beat in unison.

As you looked up once more, your eyes met, that fragile bubble of intimacy, that you knew all too well and clung to with a sense of desperation.

“Please, don’t hold back for me. I’m happy.” You whisper, voice barely above a whisper.

Taehyun could feel the gravity of the moment and did his best to soothe you, gently tracing over your knuckles in a comforting motion.

“I know that you want to sing, and you should. So please don’t lie to me. I’m happy, Taehyun. I’m so, so happy because of all the years we’ve spent together. But there’s nothing here to work towards for you and I don’t want you to not pursue your dreams just because of…”

“Of?”

“…Whatever it is that we have.”

For a moment, there was silence, broken only by the soft sound of your breath mingling in the air.

Suddenly, he smirked and you found yourself growing irritated with his inability to take you seriously. “And what is it that we have?”

You scoffed, ripping your hands away from him in annoyance. “Don’t be a jerk!”

He laughed, reaching for your hand again and bringing it up to his mouth, placing a gentle kiss against your knuckles.

“Sorry, sorry. I know what you’re trying to say. I appreciate it, and I think you’re right.”

Your eyes widened in surprise, after so long of him denying himself the chance, he had given in much easier than you expected.

“You’re really gonna try?” The smile that grew on your face was one of pure ecstasy as he nodded.

Carelessly, you had dropped the heavy trophy you were holding, throwing your arms around him with a giggle that managed to bubble out.

The flowers Taehyun had been holding were being crushed between the two of you, yet neither of you seemed to care.

Both of you stood together, his one hand being placed gently on the back of your head as you buried your face closer into him.

“Promise to come see me on stage, then?”

You scoffed, “obviously! I love you, you idiot…”

This time, he rolled his eyes at you playfully. “Geez, really? Your confession could have been a little more gentle.”

“Whatever, says the self-proclaimed ice king.” You pulled away and brought your hand up to cup his cheek.

“I’ll be front row at every show, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”

You knew that no matter where your paths would lead you, you would always be bound by the thread of love that connects you, now and forever.

“Me neither.”

Everything about Taehyun shined to you— you loved how his eyes danced happily, and the gentle way he spoke; the way he filled your aimless days when you felt demotivated with bitterness and hope.

You had loved him as you fell to sleep, and each morning as you woke up to his new messages. When he would bring you lunch at the rink, even long after he hung up his skates.

It was never any question that your love was as timeless and enduring as the frozen surface that would always remain beneath your feet, decorated with the carvings you had created together.

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ jet lag.

Late nights with Beomgyu returning from trips always seemed to leave the two of you in a weird state of sentimentality.

જ⁀➴♡ wc 1k ✧ fluff

When Beomgyu was away, there were countless questions that lingered in your mind.

Did he think of you on airplanes? With his headphones snug around his ears and the clouds below?

Did he think of your lips as he was exploring new territory— traveling against the turn of the planet, did it take him back to your bedroom?

These were questions you’d never burden him with the pressure of answering so soon, though you wished he would.

What you did know was that you thought of him— always, you thought of him.

You thought of him on airplanes, in thoughts that went a million miles an hour. Over towers made of tin and toy towns filled with figures you’d never know.

Nothing felt real above the ground, your head as dizzy as the first time he kissed you.

You wondered if he thought of the past, in the early morning light when he would wake up next to some stranger, wondering why he didn’t feel a thing.

No one as comparable to what the two of you shared now.

In truth, you thought of the past yourself.

In every bar room and bedroom where you were forced into conversation or giving away parts of yourself to partners who didn’t deserve you— you missed him.

Even without knowing him back then, your heart missed him.

Although these thoughts of the past were shameful to most, never once did you find yourself embarrassed of it all. He never gave you any reason to.

The memories of being tangled in bedsheets with lovers you can’t recall the names of only served as a reminder now.

Never have you been loved as wholly as you were now.

A love in its’ very early stages has somehow given you this feeling of permanence.

These questions and thoughts of what his mind would conjure up in your absence only made you more anxious to see him next.

Teasing texts and photo updates from his travels had you checking your phone, giddy eyes gleaming with excitement.

You wonder if he thought of you in cars. When every turn they took was driving the two of you further apart.

The distance always growing.

Did every road sign pleading him to take care, remind him of how much you wanted him, how deeply he was loved?

The signs issuing out warnings of propriety and setting in place the rules to keep him in check, almost scolding him for leaving.

And staring out the window, miles away from you— Beomgyu found himself thinking of you on the roads that would stretch into the horizon.

On roundabouts and signs that kept telling him that they were going in the wrong direction.

That he was going in the wrong direction: away from you.

In the car, headphones playing a song you’d mentioned in passing— he hoped that you thought of him as much as he thought of you.

Everything was still so fresh between the two of you. There was so much uncovered ground that the two of you desperately wanted to explore together, toeing and dancing on the line of it all, hand in hand.

No matter how many days had passed, your minds drifted back to each other.

In the kitchen of your apartment, humming a song that you’d began to associate with him in your current ‘honeymoon phase’ the thoughts resurfaced once more.

You hoped that every step would bring him closer, that every dead end was a messenger, willing him to turn back around, reminding him when it was time to come home.

The sound of a key turning in the doorway would have made you jump had it not been for you noticing the footsteps leading up to it. His footsteps, a sound newly memorized.

The humming never stopped, even as the sound of tired shuffling and wheels rolling on the wooden floor approached.

The suitcase was quickly discarded in the hallway, hands making their way around your waist and his breath against your neck.

Pausing, you placed the dish you were working on in the sink. “You’re back,” you said quietly.

Before he could respond, a yawn escaped his lips.

You chuckled, grabbing his hands and placing them at his sides as you turned. He frowned for a moment before you faced him, taking his headphones off from around his neck.

Gently, you placed a kiss to his lips. He chased you for more as you pulled away, only for you to place a finger against his pout.

“Let’s go to bed.” Too tired to argue, he nodded.

You locked your fingers with his, gently pulling him toward your bedroom. Without bothering to shed his coat, he sat down.

The nagging look you gave him had him letting out a huff before he shook it off, tossing it to the floor.

While he shed his layers, you went back to the hallway to grab his suitcase and wheel it in the safety of the room.

“I barely know you,” he said, voice heavy with sleep.

Beomgyu already had a large amount of clothes he had left at your apartment, you decided that you would unpack his things for him later.

“You know me well enough.” You said quietly, sitting down onto the bed next to him.

His eyes were heavy, barely being able to keep them awake. Despite this, he widened them as much as he could in an attempt to stay awake. To savor the moments with you.

“I don't know your favorite color or how you like your coffee.” He continued.

“I don’t think I’m very picky when it comes to colors— I like pink flowers though, if that’s what you’re asking.” Your answer was teasing as you gently tapped his nose.

The small smile he gave you as his eyes followed your finger made your heart flutter.

“I’m just saying, we should know these things.”

Beomgyu, currently fighting to stay awake for the sake of spending time with you was much different than his usual self.

“We’ll learn,”

You found yourself loving both versions all the same.

“Plus, I know Toto. I think that’s a start.

The mention of his beloved parrot had him rolling his eyes, recalling the memory of the first time he had shown you him.

Terrified as the birds’ claw sunk into your arm, you could barely bring yourself to make eye contact with it.

He always laughed at you for that.

“What about what keeps you up at night or the lullabies that sing you to sleep?”

You tilted your head to the side, fixing your position on the bed as you motioned for him to lie down.

“No one has ever sang me lullabies.”

Soon his head was in your lap as you gently brushed his hair out of his eyes.

“Do you want me to?”

“Depends, do you want to?”

He paused for a moment, thinking over the idea. It seemed a bit embarrassing but for you, he’d do it.

“Well,” he began.

“I don't know a thing about the first guy you loved, why you stopped loving him or if you still do…”

As he looked up at you with his eyes that held the stars even in the darkness, you smiled.

“You don’t ever have to worry about that now.”

There was a comfortable silence and a few moments in as you leaned your head back with a deep breath, you wondered if he had fallen asleep.

Before you could check, he started again.

You continued to stare at the dark ceiling.

“I don't know how many cells you’re made of or if they have any idea that they’re part of something so unimaginably perfect.”

As the blood rushed to your head and you found yourself inevitably dizzy at his confession, you closed your eyes and hummed.

Maybe it was an attempt to calm the swelling of your heart.

“I don’t know any of that about you, either.” You started.

Even in the darkness, his eyes followed your every move as if he was in a trance.

Maybe it was due to the fact that he was that tired or maybe it was because he was realizing that he was in love.

“We may not have a clue about any of these things yet, but this—” you placed your hand on his chest, over his vulnerable heart. “This we know.”

Somehow with that he felt all of the questions he had were stilled, his heart beating in the palm of your hand.

“…You’re right. We have time.”

The comfortable silence returned as your hands found their way into his hair once again, running through it and occasionally massaging shapes to his skin.

And as his eyes collapsed heavy with exhaustion, burying his face against the warmth of your body, it was your hand holding his heart that brought him home.

“Goodnight, Gyu.”

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ strangers in the dark.

જ⁀➴♡ wc 3k ✧ angst , fluff

After so many promises and plans that had fallen through, you found your heart couldn’t take anymore empty words. In this realization, you found yourself.

That night, you made a promise to distance yourself. Although he never confronted you about it, you could see it on his face that he knew.

With each passing day, his smile grew smaller and smaller until eventually it was left to its’ default state.

When you had decided to leave, bag stuffed with your most precious items, it had become obvious you didn’t intend on coming back.

In truth, Beomgyu grew a bit bitter at this— to let someone into his life completely only for them to come in and leave him feeling robbed.

It was neither of your faults, he tried to convince himself.

You both knew that wasn’t true.

The two of you had fallen in love through screens, through satellites that carried your words across the aching void.

An all consuming void put between the two of you by a cruel twist of fate when everything was seemingly going so well.

Night after night, you spoke about hands on bodies and lips on skin. How your dreams were filled with the memory of each other and how it was just almost as good as the real thing.

And after the silence, you would think of all the girls made of flesh and bone within his arm’s reach.

Girls far away from the place you two had grown up— girls much more experienced and well versed in the world.

It was through that screen you learned that to love someone completely was to learn from them until their traits become your own.

Texting patterns begin to change and you find yourself repeating things you’d originally never said.

There was many things he had stolen from you besides your heart. Stealing pieces of you like a thief until you became nameless in his memory.

It wasn’t hard to believe that things had to change, looking back you found yourself incredibly stupid.

The seasons changed and your heart flipped with the anticipation that maybe, just maybe, you would finally be able to spend them together— any one, you weren’t picky.

Completely stupid and gullible to believe things could last with someone like him. Someone so otherworldly.

You wondered how you could be so afraid of losing something that was no longer yours.

People changed as well, you knew. Yet he always seemed the same. Maybe that was more painful to acknowledge— that he had never changed and he remained the same boy you had fallen in love with running down school hallways.

But the thing is you knew was that you still wanted to be with him because forever and always in your heart, he remained that boy you fell in love with in the safety of his bed. Incense on vinyls shelves be damned. You never loved the gentle strumming of the guitar more.

Despite the glowing screens growing to burn your eyes through the darkness until you couldn’t keep them open anymore.

Despite the undeniable fact that he had become something— someone so much bigger than himself at 15.

You never thought about it in the moment, how neither of you had said goodbye to the other. Without any words you had shared one knowing glance from the doorway.

Desperately you wanted him to reach out to you, to say something that would make you stay. To make another promises that you knew he couldn’t keep.

In loving him so deeply, being apart from him almost hurt as badly as being with him.

The rust that grew between telephones brought you to a new realization: one that had nausea bubbling deep down inside of you.

It was worse to be nothing with him than to have him at all.

Neither of you had called the other, not attempting any contact no matter how badly the two of you wanted to hear each other’s voice.

How could you go from calling someone everyday to not remembering the last digit of their number?

The amount of times you thought about that night since could be counted on your hands, pushing the memory far into the past with the desperate refusal to dig it up.

Because you had found that night, crying in your car with your head in your hands that with time: no matter how many times you went over it, there was never a solution for the two of you.

You could run back inside, tell him that it was all some sort of prank. And you knew that he would laugh along even though he knew it wasn’t true.

It was after that you worried about. Would it have just been the same? You were sure that the two of you would fall into the same pattern.

Confessions of loneliness and promises of company would be echoed over and over, the two of you swearing to the other that you would try.

Maybe the few times you were together you would make the most of it, claiming to make up for lost time before he was inevitably whisked away to the airport again to fly out and have experiences you could only dream of.

Sometimes during those times you kicked around with bliss and he would take your foot into his hand and kiss the tips of your feet. A small playful gesture that made you stick out your tongue in some mangled expression of disgust. And he’d just laugh, glad to have you at all.

But when he would be gone in the early mornings and you wouldn’t hear from him until he fell asleep next to you again that night and you knew that those moments could never last.

Even though you knew it wasn’t his fault— his job was incredibly demanding of him, after all, you still found yourself growing to resent him a bit. How completely unfair you had been to your love.

Despite that, you couldn’t let go of him.

For some reason, his mouth was always so specific. He always knew how to hurt you with it, in subtle ways.

“Your lips taste like coffee,”

“Bitter?”

“No, sweet.”

Whenever you would say that, he’d scrunch his nose and call you a loser: always endearingly. And when he used to kiss you, you found yourself never wanting to give yourself to another.

Now any lips you met felt tainted.

Bitter with the lust of superficial attraction.

These flings had you convinced that he had ruined your sense of touch because all you could ever feel was him and the faint scent of coffee.

As winter gave way to summer, the dust motes dancing in the sunlight blurred into pixels, and you gave your heart to a photograph.

The edges were bent from being tucked away into bags and drawers, places you swore you’d never look again only to stumble upon it months later when you swear that you’re finally healing and you find yourself crumbling all over again.

Did the boy in the photograph exist still? Surely he was more mature, maybe he was cooler.

Maybe he made sure to match his socks now and maybe the playlist once named after you had remained untouched.

If you wanted to, a quick search engine could give you all of the answers you desperately needed but you knew the harm would outweigh the good.

You wondered if he was taking care of himself properly, eating as much as he’d promised. You wondered if the same songs remained on his favorite playlist or if they too grew bitter to hear with time.

And everything in you screamed at you to call him. As the numbers grew fuzzy, uncertainty taking over as you’d trail off and your fingers hovered over the button.

You knew that you shouldn't have but just when you’d pull away, the memory of a boy brought you back to the idea. Sitting, finger shaking over the button.

The memory of a boy sitting at a bus stop, large headphones providing an extra barrier for his ears to hide in underneath his hair.

From the side, for a moment, he almost looked like Beomgyu.

And as the bus pulled up, the puddle of rain water splashing over the curb and onto your new shoes. There was an ache as you hoped, hoping for something.

Then, the boy looked up and the ache in your heart was replaced with one of disappointment and the feeling of wet socks.

It was quite ironic that these encounters had always happened when it came to your means of transportation.

A boy across the train, head down as he was off in his own land dreaming of something. You almost craned your neck to look over his neighbors and see if maybe, just maybe, it was him.

In the end, the thought of being caught sent a shiver of embarrassment down your spine and your pride overtook any sense of hope as you kept your own head low instead.

It was these boys that had brought you back to him, these and many more than didn’t share any similarities with him at all.

Because even after all the time apart, you searched for parts of him in every one. Everything in you led back to him.

Suddenly, no one had better taste than him.

You found yourself growing grotesquely optimistic at the sight of his favorite snacks, only for them to grimace and tell you that theirs are surely better.

In the car, playing a song he had always loved, only for them to turn the volume down.

‘So I can hear you better.’ They’d say.

You’re sure it was to quiet your humming.

Maybe it was because he was in everything, always that you found yourself fighting to break that promise.

Finally, for a moment, allowing yourself to think back on the night you left. To feel the ache of regret that had always been lingering.

And so you broke your promise, the line ringing to a number that may not even connect to him anymore.

In the late night, calling a stranger in the dark.

“…Y/N?” Your breath hitched at his voice— a confirmation that you hadn’t forgotten his number. That you hadn’t forgotten the most minuscule and important parts of him.

“You— hi. Hi.” Behind the screen you slapped yourself for the word. After so much time had passed, that was all you could bring yourself to say.

Beomgyu propped himself up on his elbow, the neon light of his alarm clock flashing 3:30 AM.

“Do you know how l—” the tired yet teasing tone in his voice was prominent as you scrambled to bring something else up, embarrassment increasing by the second.

Because you were a fool to disturb him so late, when you knew he loved sleeping more than he ever loved you.

“Sorry, sorry. Just…”

There was silence as he waited for you to continue.

You hated the sound of your own shaky breaths.

“…How was your day?”

And to your relief, you heard him chuckle.

“Really? That’s the first thing you say after hi?”

Still tense, you attempted to loosen yourself up as you leaned back into bed.

He was— you imagined— lying down on his arm in bed, tangled in that gray and white patterned blanket that you swore you hated because it was ‘so bland’.

You’d rather die than tell him you bought that same patterned comforter just last week.

“Well… we haven’t talked in a while.”

“8 months, actually.”

You smiled.

“You counted?”

“Does it matter?”

And like it always did, the doubt came crashing down over your head as you sat upright.

As if that would snap you out of it. As if that would somehow distract you from the glowing rays of your phone— from his voice.

“…I can’t remember your laugh. In only 8 months.”

Beomgyu hummed, his voice groggy as he spoke. “…Really? Maybe I didn’t laugh at you much then, because I remember yours.”

You shook your head, “you were always funnier than me.”

The fact that he was entertaining you without explicitly asking what you wanted, you found yourself grateful for the soft spot he seemed to still hold for you.

Because you knew if it were anyone else, he’d be annoyed.

“I miss all the screw ups we had,” you admitted.

“I miss getting angry at you— I hope you know that you never deserved it but… I still miss it. I miss feeling something for someone. For you.”

Despite how late it was, your voice had him following your every word as he waited for the final confession that he wanted to hear.

“You’re the best I’ve ever had. Probably ever will have. I’m…” you tried your best to cry, realizing how completely unfair that would be to him.

How it would destroy him all over again as you did months before, walking out that door, knowing that he’d break his back to make you smile.

“Even when we’re miles away, I knew you’d still want me. I never really… acknowledged how kind you were to me. How loyal you were. Even when I was acting completely irrational because of the distance you were so, so patient.”

For Beomgyu, the compliments felt hollow. Not stemming from the idea that you didn’t mean them— he knew that you did, the sincerity in your voice was hard to miss.

But it was because he couldn’t believe them himself.

Beomgyu was sure that there was more he could have done to satisfy you, to give you what he knew you deserved.

Maybe if he had worked harder, the company would afford him a more flexible schedule and he would have had more free time to devote to you.

It was something the two of you would have argued about before and it seems, still argue about now, yet with time it seems that you’ve traded perspectives.

“No one else, just you.”

“…just me.”

Anxiously, you picked at your nails. It was a habit that you had picked up recently, one you knew you’d never really kick on your own.

There was a scale in your mind weighing the options. You could continue to dance around the topic of that thing you had once shared, briefly, in passing or you could come clean.

“…What did you think when you saw my face for the first time?”

He laughed again, seeming to grow more into his usual self (or the part of his ‘self’ that you remembered— the part of him that you loved).

“So that’s why you called? I didn’t realize you were such a narcissist.” Those words hurt, though you deserved them.

“Can you just entertain me, Gyu? Please?”

The desperation in your voice along with the slight waver had him breathing in, his own breath hitching just for a moment.

The old nickname almost made him smile as he covered his mouth with a yawn.

One thing he hated was being woken up, especially so early and yet somehow, for some reason, he still agreed.

“I think it felt like something was going to end,”

“Like some sort of foreshadowing?”

“Or, something was gonna begin again.”

“How does that work?” He laughed again, rubbing the tiredness from his eyes once more.

“I didn’t know what it was, but I knew from the moment I saw you that it was the end of boredom forever.”

For the first time since you had left, you felt your heart strings being tugged like the strings of his guitar.

Unlike the music he once played for you so skillfully, nothing played this time and you were left with the deafening silence.

In that silence, you had come to face the exact thing that you were afraid of.

You loved him for saying that. And for the intermittent years that the two of you spent entangled, you knew that he loved you back.

Beomgyu had always loved you in his own way. When he promised his time and attention to you— he always meant it.

Whether he could follow through with it didn’t matter because in the end: he wanted to.

Desperately he wanted to give to you what he knew you deserved.

And by letting you walk out that night, he believed that was what he had done.

In the end, there was always love.

Then came the crossed wires, the signal jam.

The static that grew between the two of you was dull, murmuring protest. And you would question if there were others just like you, who had found themselves caught in his orbit.

Those girls so close to him you found yourself envious of, though he never spared them a second glance. Were their worlds revolving around him as well? It was hard to believe that they weren’t.

Whether you were just another celestial body, sent up from the ground; when the moon—the original satellite— was the only one he saw from where he was standing.

In the quiet of the night, he closed his eyes as he desperately wished on that satellite.

And you wished too.

Because you loved him, in the way you walk a tightrope. In the way people learn to fall asleep in a war zone.

You could ask why so many times, but you would never get an answer. And that is when the words would come.

“I’m sorry I called so late,” you started.

“It’s okay—”

“I’m sorry for everything, Beomgyu. Really, I—“

Before you could begin to express all of your regrets to him, his voice cut you off. Gentle and just as dreamy as your misty memory remembered it.

“Y/N. It’s okay.”

And without asking again, you decided to trust him enough to believe him.

The worry you had that you were maybe too late because you didn’t know how to talk to him washed away.

Because you didn’t know how to ask him if he was okay— didn’t know how to tell him you were so afraid of losing him until he lost you.

And unknowingly, with the press of a single button, you had calmed his worries too.

Providing him the chance to tell you all the things he never could.

And so he did, sitting up in his bed and talking into his phone in a hushed tone, away from prying ears just how you had many nights before across countries and states.

The night that he told you how much light had left his life when you were no longer part of it.

How he just hoped you realized how much you meant to him, always.

“I was sad that you were gone but I couldn’t be angry. I just wished that I could remind you of how beautiful you are, in case you forgot.”

A reminder he always echoed to you in those days, worshipping every inch of you. ‘From your head to your toes.’

And his smile was so mischievous, as if encouraging you to argue back so he could convince you all over again.

“I never wanted you to think I gave up on you, Y/N. So I'm sorry I haven't told you in so long.”

“Told me..?”

You found yourself wishing that he would crack some jokes to ease the situation instead, but he wouldn’t. He had always been so unusually serious when it came to comforting you.

“That I will never give up on you. My arms are wide open. There’s always a place for you here.”

In the same fashion that he always knew how to break you— he always seemed to know how to put you back together again.

With his love that was so teasingly mean to your poor bruised heart, he’d patch you up better than anyone ever could have.

“I thought about calling you so many times. I’m sorry I took so long. I think I.. I think I was scared.”

“Of me?” He asked jokingly.

“Yes.” You answered honestly.

Running away from him, you had given so much to things that weren't worth your time.

When all along, it was the one loved that you should have carried.

And all bitterness that grew overtime was now directed towards yourself. Because he had never given up on you— it was you who had given up on him.

It was him who broke the silence.

“Last night, I dreamed we did our laundry together.”

The abrupt confession has you laughing, especially when you recalled the days you actually had done your laundry together.

Washing machine bubbles overflowing as you slipped around on soapy suds, trying to clean up the mess he had made.

Eventually, he decided to stick to being your company sitting next to you as he watched you fold.

“You did?”

And he thought of the way you organized things, folding the clothes with such care and separating them into piles secluded by color.

How you’d throw the pair of socks that you just washed at his face as you told him to change into a matching pair because nothing irritated you more than the hole in his sock.

“When I woke up, I felt sad that it couldn’t happen anymore.”

And you wanted to ask why it couldn’t, but you knew that wasn’t your place anymore.

When the two of you were in love, there was nothing else but the yearning to be close to the other. Over the phone, over the distance.

The presence was felt through a voice heard and a screen held.

Despite the dead phone lines, your souls didn’t have internal clocks or calendars, nor did they understand the notion of time or distance. They only knew that it felt right to be with one another.

Maybe that was why you had been searching for him all along, in every passing train window and the lyrics of every song.

That was always the reason why you missed him so much when he wasn’t there— even if he was only in the very next room.

And the even greater distance you had put between the two of you seemed to serve as a lesson.

Your soul would always feel his absence—it just doesn’t realize that the separation is temporary.

Hesitantly, you look down at your phone to the time. Half of you had the heart to ignore it, as selfish as that was. It was getting later into the morning and soon, Beomgyu would have to be up for his daily activities.

“I should go.” You said awkwardly, cursing yourself for never being clever enough and being so utterly predictable.

He hummed, “can I ask you something first?”

You found yourself smiling at the idea that maybe, just maybe, he didn’t want to hang up as much as you did. For the night, you let yourself believe in that.

“Anything.”

“Why is it every time we say good night, it feels like goodbye?”

“It doesn’t have to.”

“What do you mean?”

“Let’s not say goodnight then. Let’s just fall asleep like this.”

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ carnival.

Essentially becoming a shut-in due to your extreme fear of crowds, your friends are determined to take you out and show you how much fun things can be.

selected: [ yeonjun's song.] replay? ✧

જ⁀➴♡ wc 1k ✧ fluff , humor , comfort

As you inch closer to the front of the line, the rhythmic clinking of the cars ascending and descending fills your ears.

Standing before the entrance, the worker looked at you expectantly before glancing at the boys behind you. You turned to face them and they all gave you an encouraging smile, each one as sweet as the one before.

“So, who’s it gonna be?”

Looking at each of them, it felt almost impossible to pick just one. The feeling that everyone was waiting on you made you even more anxious, the idea of annoying the people around you getting your nerves up even more.

“Hey, Y/N it’s fine. Take your time.” Taehyun commented.

The small smile he gave you was enough to have you letting out a sigh of relief.

Catching Yeonjun’s eyes, a smile made its way onto your face as you motioned for him to come over.

Despite trying his best to act cool, it was obvious how excited he was by how quickly he chucked his panda plush at Kai and hustled over to you with a fist pump to the air.

“Hell yeah!”

His eagerness made you laugh, nerves subsided for the moment as the two of you stepped onto the open-air gondola, the familiar feeling of anticipation creeping up on you.

Yeonjun smiled at you as the attendant secured the safety bars and gave the two of you a friendly wink.

Embarrassed, you looked to your other friends who gave you both a thumbs up with toothy grins. “Ah… I’m not living this down, am I?”

Yeonjun gave you a confused look, a pout present on his lips. “What’s there to live down?”

With a lurch, the Ferris wheel began its slow ascent and you laughed nervously.

In regard to all of his friendly flirting, you tried your best not to fall for it but it had become increasingly hard as the years passed.

You wondered if your friends had picked up on that.

“Nothing…” your voice trailed off, wondering if he had picked up on it.

As the two of you were raised higher and higher, the world continued to move on down below you.

The sounds of music came up to meet you both and fill the silence, mixing with the gentle creaking of the ferris wheel as it turned.

“I missed you, Y/N.”

“Hm? You’ve been with us all night, Junnie.” The nickname made his cheeks flush as he prayed that you didn’t notice, clearing his throat.

“I mean, I invited you because I wanted to spend time with you but I know it’s been a lot for you. I hope you’re not mad at me.”

“Why would I be mad…?” Your voice trailed off, trying to understand what he had meant.

It didn’t take long before you came up with a theory, a small smile making its’ way onto your face as he avoided eye contact.

“Are you jealous, Yeonjun?”

After so many years of smooth talk and cheesy pick up lines, you had to admit that it was cute to see him a bit shaken simply due to not getting much attention from you.

Yeonjun groaned, “do you have to ask it like that? I’m not jealous.” He smiled, turning to you.

“Do you want me to be jealous?” His playful demeanor was back in no time and you hummed, tapping your chin gently in a display of pretend deep thinking.

“Hm… do I?” Your playing along was enough to make him scrunch his noise as he leaned in.

You jumped slightly in surprise and he laughed, “I was just gonna whisper something to you.”

“A little warning next time?”

Yeonjun mocked your action from earlier, tapping his chin gently before shaking his head.

“Hm… no!”

“Rude…” you mumbled, looking away.

“Well, since you won’t let me whisper it,” he started.

“I love you!” The carriage shook as you jumped again, heart following suite as your hands found their home over his mouth.

You shot him a glare and looked around, as if someone could have heard that from how high you were.

Yeonjun laughed as he pried your hands off of his mouth and your cheeks burned in embarrassment.

“What’s wrong with you?! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?!”

“I had to tell you some way.”

“There are better ways…” your mind was racing as you went over the three words.

How confidently he had yelled them to the world, unashamed and so certain.

It’s true that Yeonjun loved to get under your skin and make you unsteady, he found your startled expressions the cutest.

He wanted to make you question everything you had ever believed about love.

“Hey,” his voice was gentle as he placed a hand on your shoulder. “You don’t have to say it back.”

There wasn’t a moment that you had to think about it before repeating the words back to him.

This boy who made you feel reckless and out of control, despite all of your anxieties and fears.

The one that you were infuriatingly yet inexplicably drawn to in front of you with the cutest smile.

“I love you too, Yeonjun.”

And he smiled, pulling you into him and peppering kisses all over your face as if it were some form of skin care.

All the love he had been holding in finally being expressed in some small way beyond words.

Yeonjun didn’t want you to love him because he was good for you or because he said and did all the right things.

He wanted to be the best for you, the best friend he could be but the last thing he wanted was for you to love him because he seemed like everything you had been searching for.

Playful comments and flirtatious banter were only attempts to signal that to you, he wanted to be the one you didn’t see coming.

The giggled coming from you subsided as he finally came to a stop and stared at you, that dorky smile still on his face.

In the silence, you almost shrunk under his gaze as he let out a sigh of relief and put a hand over his heart.

After, he threw a fist in the air. “I totally won.”

You laughed, covering your face in embarrassment as the silence fell over the both of you again on your descent.

“Y/N, I don't want to be the reason why you can't sleep at night, from now on I want to be the one who lulls you to sleep.”

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ Pearl.

Vacation is reaching its end and you find yourself growing restless as you wonder if you’re ‘boy of the summer’ feels the same way as you do.

જ⁀➴♡ wc 6k ✧ fluff

"Hello? Did you hear anything I just said?"

You opened your eyes, the sun blaring in your face. Turning slightly, you recognize the familiar voice and match it to the face in front of you. Chaewon sat, snapping her fingers in your face.

“Sorry," you said. "What were you saying?"

You were sat between Chaewon and Yunjin on the beach, spread out lazily lounging around on beach towels.

The guys were out messing around in the water.

The sun blaring in your eyes wasn’t worth the hassle of trying to catch a glimpse.

Despite how early it had been in the hang out, you already felt yourself beginning to feel sun-sick. The hangover from the night before certainly didn’t help either.

It was eighty-seven degrees already, and it was just the after noon so you were sure that it would get even hotter as the hangout progressed.

When the summer vacation had started with your friends, you were already counting the days until it ended.

It wasn’t that you weren’t a fan of it, you definitely weren’t against the parties and the guys but you had your studies back at home that you wanted to get back to.

Now that the summer was ending, though, you wished that time would come to a slow.

“I said, what are you going to wear to Heeseung’s party?" Chaewon repeated.

She'd lined your towels up close, so that was like the two of you were on one big towel. Despite you arguing that she would block your sun, she simply winked at you.

She rolled onto her stomach to be face-to-face with you, placing your chin in her hands.

"I don't know," you said, shielding your eyes from the sun once again.

She had tiny sweat beads on her nose and she hummed for a moment as if in deep thought.

She said, "I'm going to wear that new sundress I bought with Kura at the outlet from the boardwalk."

You closed your eyes again, swallowing the dry lump in your throat. Since you were wearing sunglasses, she couldn't tell if your eyes were open or not anyway.

“Which one?"

"You know, the cute one with the pink ribbon that ties around the neck. I showed it to you, like, two days ago." Chaewon let out an impatient little sigh as you gave her a sheepish smile.

"Oh, yeah," you said but you could tell that she knew you still didn’t remember.

“You’re still thinking about him, aren’t you?” A familiar mischievous smirk grew on her face and you opened your eyes just to roll them.

“Is Kura coming to the party?” You asked, attempting to change the subject.

“Nope,” she said popping the ‘p’ sound. “Says she’s too busy for it.”

“Well, I don’t blame her. Last time she came she had to hold back Yuri’s hair… not a fun time.”

You hummed in response, recalling the night. Heeseung’s parties were mainly just an accumulation of all the random early 20 somethings visiting for the summer looking for free drinks, it wasn’t unusual for someone to have one too many.

“You know, Beomgyu is going to be there…” her voice trailed off into a whistle and you sent a glare her way, sitting up.

“I’m not thinking about him. Plus, Jake is the one who invited me. Wouldn’t it be rude if I hung out with another guy?”

Chaewon’s eyes trailed behind you, widening a bit before she shook her head and smiled at you again. “I’m sure Jake wouldn’t mind, he’s a dog anyways he wouldn’t care.”

“A dog? Nice, Chae.” You snickered, causing her to rapidly wave her hands in front of her in defense.

“I meant in a golden retriever way! If anything, he’d probably be happy for you.”

“Right…”

You started to say something else, something nice about the usual crowd you saw at the parties or even an excuse of being ‘too tired’ from the bonfire last night but suddenly felt ice-cold aluminum sticking to the back of your neck.

You let out a yelp as you quickly turned around, shooing away in whatever direction the cold can came from.

In turning, you came face-to-face with Yeonjun, crouched down next to you with a dripping Coke can in his hand, laughing his head off.

You glared at him, wiping off your neck. You were starting to get sick of him and his friends entirely considering how much they occupied your mind— and days in general.

“What the hell, Yeonjun?”

He was still laughing, which made you even more annoyed as you pushed yourself to stand up, shoving his shoulder.

“God, you're so immature."

"But you looked really hot," he protested. "I was trying to cool you off!”

Chaewon and Yunjin laughed at this, Yunjin turning fully to face the commotion.

“Nice one, Yeonjun. Very smooth.” Her voice was dripping with sarcasm and he flashed her a charming smile.

You didn't answer him, placing your hand on the back of your neck. Your jaw began to feel really tight, and you could feel all the other girls staring at you expectantly.

Yeonjun’s flirting was just a part of being his friend, after all. Everyone knew that it wasn’t necessarily targeted, though he did always say that you were his favorite to mess with so that could be debatable in your eyes.

And then Yeonjun’s smile slightly slipped away and he said, "Sorry. You want this Coke?"

You shook your head, and he shrugged before retreating back over to the water.

Yunjin shook her head, turning her attention back to the magazine she was flipping through. “Guys never learn…”

As she trailed off, you felt blood rush to your face out of embarrassment. Normally you would entertain his flirting, hell sometimes you were even the one to initiate it, but the past few days all you could focus on was him.

It was annoying, really. Yeonjun and you were always playful together but over this summer specifically, things seemed to change. Now all you wanted to do was talk to his friend but it seemed like he was ignoring you for some reason.

Still, your annoyance with his friend being taken out on him was less than fair and you knew it.

Being mean to Yeonjun was like being mean to a puppy. There was just no sense in it and you’d just feel bad afterwards. Too late, you tried to catch Yeonjun’s eye, but he didn't look back at you.

Chaewon sighed, “always tearing men apart. Aren’t you, Y/N?” She asked in a low voice.

You lay back down on your towel, this time face up hoping to hide the regret on your face.

You took a deep breath and let it out, slowly. The music from Kazuha’s phone was giving you a headache from the volume.

Chaewon leaned over and pushed up your sunglasses so she could see your eyes. She peered at you with concerned eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. It's just too hot out here." You wiped sweat off your forehead with the back of your arm.

"Don't be embarrassed. Yeonjun can't help being an idiot around you, he likes you."

"Yeonjun doesn't like me," you said, looking away from her.

It was obvious that you were trying to convince yourself.

Yeonjun did sort of like you, in the same way a boy likes his favorite toy. You were well aware of the fact that he liked you: you just wished he didn’t.

"Sure, he's totally into you. Just like Jongho, just like Shotaro. I still think you should give at least one of them a chance. It'll take your mind off of you-know-who."

You turned your head away from her and she said, "How about I do your makeup for the party tonight? I can use that cute pink glitter you liked last time!”

The idea of getting ready with Chaewon was comforting, even if you weren’t too keen on going anyways. “Sure.”

"What are you going to wear?"

You shrugged before noticing she had begun scrolling through her phone. Realizing that she hadn’t seen, you replied.

"I'm not sure."

Chaewon nodded, eyebrows knitted tightly together as if the decision was a crucial one.

"Well, you have to look cute because everybody's gonna be there," Chaewon said.

You had caught onto her emphasis of the word ‘everyone’ but decided not to comment on it.

"I'll come over early and we can get ready together." You nodded, closing your eyes once again with a deep sigh.

The bonfire casted a warm glow against the darkening sky, flickering flames dancing in the cool evening air.

You sat, Jisung’s arm draped around your shoulder as you downed another drink. Despite the close contact, everyone was well aware that the two of you weren’t together.

For the most part, everyone knew that you were single. You had made it very clear, despite your constant flirting that you weren’t looking for a relationship in the slightest— hell, usually when the summers would end you’d completely go ghost on everyone to return to your normal life.

What happens in Busan stays in Busan and all that nonsense.

Amidst the lively chatter and laughter, you had noticed a boy chatting with Yeonjun, silhouette illuminated by the fire's light as he fiddled with the a camera in his hands.

You’d seen him plenty of times before but never managed to talk to him by yourself, usually getting wrapped up in conversations with Yeonjun and his other friend, Kai.

Shrugging off Jisung’s shoulder you gave him a quick excuse, though he was too immersed in his conversation to even notice.

“Yeonjun! Who’s this?” You asked, stumbling a bit as you plopped yourself onto the log next to them.

Yeonjun’s eyes widened a bit at your suden appearance but he quickly eased into it, pulling his friend into him with a proud smile.

“Choi Beomgyu! Choi Beomgyu, this is Busan’s dear party girl, Y/N.”

“Beomgyu. Just Beomgyu.” The guy gave you a smile, though all you could focus on was his hair at the moment and how soft it looked.

“Not property of Busan, Yeonjun. I just come through sometimes…”

“Right. Y/N here is our summer storm.”

Beomgyu raised an eyebrow, “summer storm?”

“Every summer, returning to break boys hearts.” Suddenly, the idea of boasting about your reputation filled you with embarrassment.

You shook your head, letting out a forced laugh. “He’s joking! Obviously.”

“In other news, I haven’t seen you around much. Are you new here?” Beomgyu nodded.

“I guess you could say that. I usually come with Yeonjun and the others, just not big on the whole party scene.”

Yeonjun let out a dramatic wail, “poor guy stays in the vacation house the entire time. I tell him it’s no way to spend the summer but he never listens!”

The idea of spending the summer inside their vacation home did sound painfully dreadful— not that it was a bad home or anything, you’d been over a few times to hangout with Yeonjun and Soobin but it was fairly small to fit all four of them— or five now, you suppose.

The idea that there had been another guy with them the entire time that you never met made you the slightest bit annoyed at Yeonjun for not introducing you, especially considering how cute he was.

“I get it, a fellow introvert.” You said as Yeonjun gave you a bewildered look. “Fellow? You’re the least introverted person I know.”

Upon noticing the glare you gave him, Yeonjun’s mouth quickly reverted to his normal pout before he let out a hum of realization.

When people called you a chameleon, you always thought it was a bit funny. Although it was true in some ways with how you would change and shape yourself to match those around you.

The nickname didn’t bother you, though the scaled animal itself was less than appealing to be compared to.

“Regardless,” you started. “I can respect it. Sometimes it's nice to escape the chaos, you know?”

Beomgyu nodded before a small, playful smirk grew on his face, looking up at you. “Summer storms bring chaos wherever they go though, don’t they?”

The heat that you felt rush to your face had you clearing your throat before letting out an embarrassed laugh, reminding yourself to punch Yeonjun for calling you that later.

“R-Right…”

It must have been obvious that Beomgyu had you flustered because Yeonjun snickered before excusing himself, rushing back to the bonfire, probably to gossip about whatever was going on with the two of you with their friends.

“It's quieter over here, at least.” He said, taking a drink from the cup he was holding.

You wanted to ask what he was drinking but it seemed to just be water.

“Well, what's your story then? What do you do when you're not dodging party invitations?”

Beomgyu shrugs, tilting his head slightly. You notice how his hair frames his face so perfectly and again, you find yourself fighting the urge to brush it out of his face.

“Mostly just listen to or make music. And you?” Your eyes widened a bit at the idea of him making music.

Throughout your years visiting, you’d surely met hundreds of guys who claimed to be musicians.

Some were surely better than others but you couldn’t help but roll your eyes after the third time. Claiming to be a musician just felt like the oldest trick in the book now.

Despite this, you found yourself interested in Beomgyu’s music specifically as you shuffled closer slightly. As if it would somehow serve to let you know more about him.

“Oh, you know, the usual. Hanging out with friends, smoothies and açaí bowls… hitting up every party within a ten-mile radius and waking up with the worst headache ever thanks to Soobin’s mystery concoctions.“

Beomgyu gave you a look as if to ask if you were crazy, “I wouldn’t put anything in my body that Soobin makes. That’s your first mistake.”

A genuine laugh slipped and you shook your head, leaning in as you held eye contact with him. Unlike you expected him to, he didn’t seem to shy away from you.

Most strangely, you found that you couldn’t read him at all.

It stayed like that for a while.

“Let’s take a picture together! To preserve this memory. To new friends, right?”

“Sure. To new friends.”

That moment it felt as though the hands of time stood stilll; Beomgyu and his camera smile— a flash of something real.

Your heart fluttered at the click of the camera’s shutter, and that was it.

The two of you talked until the evening, agreeing to meet again once the sun came up.

You knew that you would be hungover and dreaded the idea of getting up early but decided to deal with it to spend more time with him.

And so you met up once more, traveling down the beach’s trail as the moon came out for awhile; the trail lights glowing warmly creating a halo around him.

He’d offer to take a photo and you’d gladly pose for him, grateful that he wanted to remember you.

With each click of the camera, the clock would pause and resume its ticking with your heart on the dial.

Beomgyu had agreed to come out to more parties for the promise of seeing you and you found yourself searching for him at every function.

The two of you began to emerge during each other’s off hours simply to connect as often as you could, summer’s clock ticking away.

There were a few whispers about you and your new ‘boy toy’ but you couldn’t find it in you to entertain them like all the times before.

Something about him grabbed you, genuinely, for the first time in years. Anytime you thought that you had nailed him down he seemed to surprise you again.

Your ‘Mr. Mysterious’ quickly became ‘Mr. Perfect’ in your mind and as embarrassing as it was, you found yourself checking your phone often for his texts.

Despite your seemingly contrasting personalities, you felt a genuine connection spark, conversations somehow flowing effortlessly.

And that’s how you found yourself completely overthinking everyday leading up to the end of summer.

The idea of going from talking to and seeing Beomgyu everyday to not at all was sickening to you.

Something you never worried about before, the mere idea of him forgetting about you made you nauseous.

Though, you were far too prideful to ever truly admit that to someone, it was fairly obvious to everyone around you with how your behavior had changed.

Rejecting any and all advances toward you, instead opting to look for that familiar head of brown hair and finding yourself waiting for him.

Impatient as always, you’d stand with your arms crossed tapping your feet in annoyance at the curious glances thrown your way but the second he would show up, the biggest smile would make its’ way onto your face as the world melted away.

You wondered if he himself had noticed that change or if he thought that was just how you were.

Saving yourself and your time for him, precious nights spent partying without a care in the world had turned into nights focusing only on him. Or alternatively, your nights being ruined when he didn’t show.

The rest of the summer seemed to fly by quickly, regardless of how agonizingly slow it felt waiting for him to make a move.

There were times when you were sure it would be it, quiet moments in the car before he had dropped you off at home. Your breath hitched as he looks at you from behind his glasses, only for him to smile and give you a ‘get home safe.’

That was the last night you had seen him, a week and a day ago. You would be embarrassed of how long you had been keeping count if you weren’t upset by it.

In the end though, you guessed that was what you got for waiting around for some guy.

“Y/N, you’re spacing out again.”

“Huh? Oh, sorry.” Kazuha laughed as she turned back to the mirror, applying her lip gloss.

“You know, even if Beomgyu doesn’t show up I’m sure Yeonjun will.”

“Beomgyu will show up!” Chaewon cheered, pausing for a moment while she applied your eyeliner.

She must have noticed that her voice came off much too certain as everyone in the room gave her a confused look.

She laughed nervously before continuing. “I-I mean… I asked Yeonjun and he said he was going, so…”

“Right.” Yunjin said, drawing it out as she straightened out her bangs.

“You said he hasn’t answered you in a while, right?” Eunchae asked from the doorway, shoveling spoonfuls of fruit loops into her mouth.

“Uh… yeah.” Your voice was quiet and it was obvious that you were embarrassed about it.

“Want me to send a pipe bomb to his house?” She asked, eyes cast down as she scooped up more cereal.

Chaewon paused to slowly turn to Eunchae who shrugged, causing you to laugh and relax the slightest bit.

“I don’t think blowing up Y/N’s boy of the week is good for the singles’ economy. Who knows, he might come back in the cycle.”

“I don’t care if he shows up, anyway.” Kazuha and Yunjin silently shared a knowingly glance.

Chaewon frowned, fixated on the glitter she was applying to your eyelid.

Eunchae smiled, dimples showing as she shook her head. “He totally got you, didn’t he?”

A part of you wanted to deny it, but the silence that fell over the room with soft music playing from the speakers was enough to tell you that there was no point anymore.

No matter how many times you’d argue, swinging like a pendulum between yes and no— you’d always reach the same conclusion.

You always wondered if the mind answered to the heart. The way it always conjured up things that weren’t there. The prizes he won for you at the boardwalk’s arcade and the way he held your hands in his as he tried to teach you to play some dumb shooting game.

You didn’t pay attention to the screen and he laughed with you focused on him being so close.

There was never a chance for you to try and change how you acted around him, he saw right through it.

Maybe that was the reason you found meaning behind everything he did when it came to you.

How he plagued your mind like a disease, invading your space like some irritating bug you couldn’t quite catch.

And you could never place what was so different about him compared to everyone else you had talked to. Something about being with him felt like being home, somehow.

So despite the growing irritation, you would wait until summer’s end.

Wanting the mirage knowing it will never be enough.

But your heart doesn’t have eyes and the mind cannot resist when it asks.

You sighed. “Maybe he did.”

The beach house party was already irritating to you once you arrived. The girls kept together as they all went to get drinks and you set off on your own.

And even though you swore it wasn’t to go find your pest of a guy friend that you may or may not have had a tiny crush on, it was obvious that no one believed you.

The party had been loud and crowded like all the ones before but now the mass amount of sweaty people just irked you and dancing seemed far less appealing.

Maybe you had finally gotten over the scene and preferred something much more down to earth and personal.

It made you sad in a way, but you chalked it up to the fact that things always change.

Only the golden sand stretching outside into the horizon provided comfort as you peered out to the waves through the pane of glass.

Torches outside lined the perimeter and flickering flames adding a warm glow to the gathering as a few stragglers hung outside.

The sliding glass doors blurred the boundaries between the inside and outside and you felt drawn to the deck, eventually giving up on searching for Beomgyu.

Considering he hadn’t been answering your messages anyways, you assumed he wouldn’t bother talking to you even if he was there.

“Y/N!” A familiar voice called for you and before you could turn, a heavy arm found its way around your shoulder as the guy practically dropped into your lap.

“…Soobin?” You gave him a confused look. The two of you had talked tons of times but you wouldn’t consider you particularly close.

He also wasn’t one to play into your usual flirting so for him to, quite literally, throw himself at you was strange.

“Yeah, yeah!”

“Are you… okay?” There wasn’t much concern in your voice. After all, you’d seen Soobin drink a fair amount of times and he seemed to handle the morning after well enough so you figured he’d be fine.

“Yeah! Yeah, I was looking for you.”

“For me?” Now, there was a bit of concern in your voice. A small part of you nagged at you for being so selfish but you brushed it to the back of your mind.

“Yeahhh…”

“Why?”

He hummed, raising an eyebrow at you with puffed out cheeks. As cute as he was, you were already beginning to feel a little annoyed.

Curse you for being sober.

Gently, you reached out, pinching his cheeks where his dimples were. “Spit it out?”

“Oh! Yeahh, Beomgyu’s looking for you.” At this, your eyes seemed to light up and betray you as Soobin’s smile grew even wider, taking notice.

The deck was adorned with string lights and colorful lanterns that must have begun blurring together for Soobin as he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment.

Knowing the feeling all too well, you let out a sigh. “Stay here, I’ll get you some water.”

Standing up, you gently pushed him off of you and he frowned.

“What about Beomgyu?” His voice called over to your retreating form.

You let out a huff as you waved a hand back towards him dismissively. “What about him!”

As you made your way back inside, lounge furniture was scattered throughout as guests were spread all over.

A makeshift bar was set up in one corner, stocked with an array of cocktails and chilled beverages. When you reached the table, grabbing a cup and sharply turning to make your way to the kitchen a body suddenly blocked you.

“Y/N!” Looking up, you sighed with relief.

“Jake, hi.”

“You’re not drinking?” He asked, motioning to the empty cup in your hand as he held his between his lips.

Ignoring the way he had asked as if he was genuinely shocked at the idea, you shook your head.

“Maybe later. Right now I’m getting water for a completely wasted Soobin.” Jake nodded, gently guiding you by your arm to move behind him as someone shoved the two of you.

He gave them a glare before returning to you with kind eyes. “Don’t let me stop you then. I just wanted to let you know that Beomgyu’s been looking for you.”

It was almost like the mention of his name alone gave you a headache with the way you audibly groaned.

“Thanks, Jake.” You said with a thin smile, pushing past him as he gave you a confused look.

Finally reaching the kitchen after a few minutes that felt like ages, you filled the cup with ice and water before returning to Soobin.

Stepping through the glass door once more, you saw the all too familiar back of a head.

“Beomgyu,” You started.

“Hey, Y—”

“Y/N!” Soobin cheered, pulling Beomgyu in close to him and pointing. “Y/N’s here! You were looking for her and now you’re here. Both— you’re both here. My favorite couples here!”

“Not a couple.” The two of you said in unison.

Even though you had said it as well, you couldn’t help but feel upset by how quick he responded. How hypocritical.

Soobin looked between the two of you before groaning, taking the cup out of your hands and downing it.

“AH— Ice water? Are you trying to kill me?”

You shrugged, sitting on the opposite side of Soobin from Beomgyu.

“I was hoping the cold would shock your nervous system back to normal and factory reset you or something.”

Soobin paused for a minute before nodding. “Very smart. I admire woman in stem.”

“Don’t you mean women?” Beomgyu asked, amused.

Soobin just shook his head.

“Why did you drink so much anyway?” You asked.

It wasn’t like Soobin was a prude when it came to drinking but more often than not, him and Kai were the sober ones of their friend group. At least, unless they were celebrating something.

“Wowww, I am so glad you asked.” Soobin motioned from you to Beomgyu, leaning back slightly.

“Take it away.” He said, only for Beomgyu to shoot him a look that you couldn’t exactly read.

Soobin deadpanned at the silence before letting out a huff, pushing himself up clumsily and stretching. “I am.. celebrating!” He raised his arms up for only a moment before they dropped to his sides.

“You,” he started pointing at Beomgyu. “Do the thing. I’m outta here.”

With that, he stumbled away to go find Kai. You furrowed your eyebrows at the fact that he had basically just thrown you to the wolves but decided to chalk it up to the fact that he was inebriated.

“So…” Beomgyu began to trail off and you huffed, arms wrapping around yourself for comfort.

If he had asked, you were just cold.

“You haven’t answered me in a week. That’s kind of a dick move— actually, no. Not kind of. It is a dick move. You’re a dick, Beomgyu.”

Beomgyu let out an exasperated sigh and you opened your mouth to berate him before he nodded.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Expecting him to argue back, his lack of defense made your annoyed expression morph into one of confusion.

“…Huh.”

“I was a dick,” he started. “I should have answered you, there’s no reason for me to not have. I think I just needed some time to myself after getting burnt out from going out so often and I got caught up in my own world. I’m sorry.”

His response was clear and communicative and you found yourself feeling embarrassed for trying to start an argument. Because he wasn’t like any other guy you had talked to and you seemed to forget that.

“I’m sorry for being rude.” He shook his head and smiled.

“You just missed me, right? You have a reason to be hurt.”

The familiar feeling of your chest tightening made you clear your throat. “As if…”

Beomgyu laughed. “Alright. You missed my camera, then?” He asked, holding up the camera he had in his lap.

You hadn’t even noticed it throughout Soobin’s antics but now that it was in front of you, your eyes became fixated on it.

“Maybe just you.” You muttered, putting your hand over his and pushing the camera back to his lap gently.

“Knew it.”

“Don’t get cocky.” You said with a huff, finally meeting his eyes, not even realizing that he moved closer in Soobin’s absence.

“I couldn’t. Never with you. You keep me humble.”

With him sitting in front of you, eyes as warm as always you found him only confirming what you were afraid of.

You didn’t just love Beomgyu, you were in love with him.

“I think I hated being away from you more than anything. Like, ever.” Beomgyu paused for a moment before nodding.

“Me too.”

You shook your head, “well it didn’t seem like it.”

“I think missing you was easier for me because of all the pictures of you I have.“ Your breath almost caught in your throat at the comment, imagining him hanging up the photos he had taken on each of your outings in his room like precious memories.

“I forgot that just because I got to see you everyday, that didn’t mean you could see me. Sorry, Y/N.”

And it was true. Despite your bugging Beomgyu much preferred to be behind a camera than in front of it and you didn’t want to bother him so eventually you had stopped asking.

All you had was one shaky photo of Beomgyu next to your drunk self, both of you giving a thumbs up. An embarrassing photo that you would rather take to your grave than make your lockscreen for all to see.

“You better make it up to me. Summer’s already ending, you know…” your voice trailed off and he could sense the hurt behind your words as you pulled your knees closer to your chest.

Despite the loud music from inside and the few stray party goers outside with you both, the moment felt way too intimate for your liking.

“You’re right. We’ll just have to make the most of it, right?”

Another annoyed sigh came from you and you turned, cheek pressed against your knee as you glared up at him.

“So, you excited to get back home to your girlfriend?” Beomgyu raised an eyebrow at you.

“My… girlfriend? Y/N, I don’t have a girlfriend.”

You groaned, “then why haven’t you asked me?”

Your voice was barely above a whisper and you were sure that he didn’t even hear you. Before you could try and backtrack, he chuckled.

“God, you’re impatient aren’t you?” Straightening back up, you gawked at him.

“Me?! Impatient? I’ve been waiting, like, all summer!”

“I meant right now,” he said mindlessly combing through his camera’s gallery.

Eventually he stopped, turning it to you. On the small screen, fuzzy and dark was the photo of the two of you that first night you had met only illuminated by the fire nearby.

Before you could ask him why he was showing you that, he cut you off.

“I had to ask Yeonjun beforehand. Since I’m such a good friend.” His voice was teasing as you rolled your eyes.

“And before you deny him liking you, I already know that he did.” You reminded yourself to curse at yourself later for being so predictable.

“Anyway, he was cool about it so I just had to think over how I wanted to tell you how I felt.”

“How you felt?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“I think the best ways for me to communicate are through music and pictures, so I wanted to do something with those.” He let out an irritated huff before gently handing you his camera, your eyes still fixated on the photo of you both.

Shuffling through his side bag, he pulled out a folder. It was a normal white folder but on it was small doodles of bears and other animals. It was cutesy, not what you were expecting, but cute.

“But, I don’t have access to any of my recording stuff here so I figured the pictures would have to do.”

You hesitated for a moment to open the folder before he nudged you. Gently, you opened it up and slid out the photos. They were physical prints of all the photos he had taken of you and the one you had taken together.

“I think that the best pictures are ones we take of the people we love.” He said, voice a bit quieter than before as if not to scare you.

The kindness in his words hit you and the weight held behind them made you almost want to cry as you were reminded all over again.

You loved Beomgyu.

And you almost wished that you never did because loving him was like being ten years old again, scaling a tree with your eyes bright and skyward as the sun shined down on you, wanting only to get higher and higher, without a thought of how you would get back down.

Because the comfort in knowing he would be there to catch you if you fell was worlds more painful than the idea of falling at all.

Falling into the realization that if you were to lose him and the summer, a whole universe would go along with him.

In changing yourself for every guy that you’d talked to, entering stages for some momentary fun only to leave in the morning and forget once summer ended, you picture all your other selves, standing in line like a row of dominoes; separate but part of the same disjointed whole.

None of them felt like you, not anymore. Not when he saw right through you like this.

Yet, how could you hold a single one accountable when all you wanted was to be loved?

The realization for Beomgyu had come much too soon for his liking. Almost as if he had fallen face first into love, simultaneously knocking the air out of him while helping him see things much clearer.

How much easier it got for him to imagine you as a young girl. To think about your worn-out heart, breaking for the things you couldn't hold on to such as childhood pets and toys. The wish that he had met you sooner, if only to love you for longer.

The moment that the realization had come, the flash had hit you as he stared at you through the view finder. Your prettiest smile through his lens, he could somehow taste the salt of the sea when you both were miles inland.

Whenever you were together, the ocean felt like a fractured memory of when you had first met.

Your reputation never mattered to him, everyone had something they were known for. Who you were in front of his camera: he believed in that version of you. He loved that version of you.

He loved you.

And in the moments where you would slip, showing some sign of sincerity with your soft spoken words and your gentle glances, he had always known.

How you threw yourself blindly at the world and its people, hoping that it would always open its arms up to you and find you a home.

You weren’t some disastrous storm wreaking havoc— he found a pearl a much more suitable comparison. Like the ones you would look for on every beach, the place you felt most at home.

A pearl. Soft and sensitive to the world around it, yet as beautiful as the ocean it made its’ home.

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ