Sorry Not Sorry But I Am Always Going To Give People The Benefit Of The Doubt When It Comes To Queer

sorry not sorry but I am always going to give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to queer inclusion

Like if you say you’re bi but you’ve only dated people of the opposite gender? you’re bi as hell i don’t care.

If you tell me you’re trans but you haven’t transitioned yet or don’t want to undergo certain aspects of transitioning? you are trans! I’m gonna call you by the name and pronouns you tell me to use

what if someone looks feminine, is afab, and uses she/her pronouns but identifies as nonbinary? what if someone looks masculine, is amab, and uses he/him pronouns but identifies as nonbinary? both of those people are nonbinary because they said they are!

if you’re asexual or aromantic but you’re still hetero in the sense that you experience attraction of some sort to the opposite gender and that gender alone? you’re still a part of the community babe! Aros and aces have always been queer.

If you don’t know if you’re queer or not? you’re certainly welcome to be a part of our spaces while you figure it out!

if you don’t wanna use labels? dont! that’s it! never let anyone pressure you into labels if you’re not ready to define that part of yourself.

if you use labels/pronouns that are uncommon and/or perceived as strange? that’s your label! those are your pronouns! who am i to tell you you can’t use those words to describe yourself??

basically fuck all the debates about the nuances of this stuff. if you tell me you’re queer, you’re fucking queer. I have no right to start discourse with people about their own identities and neither does anyone else.

Okay but how many times was Dean forbidden to go to school by his dad? Like imagine a young Dean Winchester, just started hunting and he gets mysterious bruises and the occasional broken bones. The kind that you only get if you’ve been aggressively beaten. If Dean Winchester went to school or even just out and about like that you know somebody would think John was beating his sons. I already think he did but never like this. His is strategic so no one would really know unless Dean went out of his way to show/tell someone. Monsters don’t care where they hit you. So anyway, young Dean Winchester being forbidden from going to school so that no one would think his dad beat him. Thus giving him this bad boy persona and making him mysterious in the eyes of other students and his teachers.

Okay but can we talk about Bobby Singer for a minute?

It was made very clear in the beginning of his character development that he had once had a wonderful wife of which he loved dearly despite the fact that he killed her. Later it was kind of implied (maybe confirmed?) that he and Ellen had formed a relationship. When Dean meets up with Bobby again in the new and improved heaven, they are at the Roadhouse. Is this implying that Bobby’s heaven is with Ellen? Is this just a good meeting point for greeting Dean in the afterlife? Does he live nearby with his wife and just visit the old dive while killing time in the afterlife?

I guess what I’m really asking is what happened to his original wife? Because his whole backstory as a hunter revolves around her and I feel like that got forgotten and ignored like so many other things did during this finale

I Love Women

I don’t think a lot of people understand that no matter how progressive or well-read you are, there are always going to be moments in your life where somebody pushes back against something that’s so culturally ingrained you never even considered it before. And you’ll say “Huh, it never occurred to me to challenge this but you’re right,” and that doesn’t mean you were “morally toxic” before, it means you’re a non-omniscient human capable of growth.

Also, some preferred terms for things will change and evolve, and terms we prefer now might eventually be considered gauche or even offensive, and that doesn’t mean you were a bigot at the time for using them. It means we evolved as a society and chose new terminology to reflect that change.

Nobody is a fully formed realisation of progressivism that can predict all shifts and modes of thought. The world will always change, and hopefully you will, too

Don’t stop believin’

It’s New Year’s Eve and Cas is trying to write down his New Year’s Resolutions for the first time. (~1.7k) 

I literally just wanted to write some tooth-rotting fluff, don’t mind me.

(This hasn’t been beta-read, I hope there aren’t too many mistakes). 

Happy New Year to every single one of you!

[READ ON AO3]

Of all the things Dean had imagined doing on New Year’s Eve, running around the bunker trying to figure out where the hell his ex-angel of a boyfriend might be wasn’t on the list.

He’s on his way back from the archive when he runs into Sam in all his sweaty glory. He’s wearing a grey tracksuit and still has his headphones on. He removes an earbud when he notices Dean.

“What’s up? You’ve got that look.”

“I’ve been looking for Cas for the past 10 minutes, I don’t know where he is.”

“You’ve checked your bedroom, right?”

Ah. The bedroom.

Now that he thinks about it, he should’ve probably started there.

Sam raises an eyebrow at him, throwing bitchface patented Sam Winchester #32, “I can’t believe we’re related”, before he pats his shoulder. “You should probably head there then.”

“Yeah, alright. Hey, we’re still on for tonight?”

“Eileen’s on her way, so yeah. Did you hear from Jack?” Sam answers his brother, a smile tugging on his lips.

“Sweet. Yeah, he said he’d be here. Jody, Donna, and the girls too.”

Dean felt his heart grow 10 sizes at the thought of his family finally reuniting. They chose to stay in the bunker for Christmas, just the 4 of them. Eileen had helped Dean put their Christmas meal together, and Jack had popped in by the end of the night. But New Year’s Eve? It felt right having everyone together again, and Dean couldn’t wait until the bunker was filled with all the people he loves.

He makes his way to the bedroom quickly, and sure enough, finds Cas sitting crossed legs on the bed — their bed. Dean still had to resist pinching himself every time he walked in to find Cas here. It still feels surreal, even after a few months of Cas coming back and them figuring out their shit together. It hasn’t been easy, but Cas is here, as real as ever. They’re together and that’s what matters the most.

Cas raises his head when Dean comes in, and there’s a smile on his face as Dean makes his way to him and drops a quick kiss on his head before he settles in next to him.

“Watcha doin’? Been looking for you everywhere,” Dean says as Cas gratefully accepts Dean’s arm around his shoulder and snuggles closer.

“Sam told me about New Year’s resolutions before I went running earlier.”

Yeah, because Sammy had somehow managed to turn Cas into an early morning runner. Every time Cas exited Dean’s embrace (and by extension, their bed) before the sun was up, Dean tried really hard not to curse his brother into the next 10 generations.

“I wanted to try it, but I’ve been struggling with the whole meaning of this.”

Dean brushes a kiss on Cas’ hairline before he takes a peek at the pages of Cas’ notebook. So far, the only thing he’s written down is “New Year’s Resolutions”, which admittedly doesn’t take him very far.

“It’s just some sort of tradition. You don’t have to think too hard or choose things that are too meaningful. You can maybe write down something new you want to learn, or something new you want to experience. Things you want more of, or to do less. These kinds of things.”

Cas is staring at him, an eyebrow raised. “So if I say I’d like to get a cat next year, I can write that down?”

Dean scoffs, “we’re not getting a cat, sweetheart.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m allergic, for one. And because we’ve already got Miracle.”

“But Miracle is yours!”

Dean sighs. “You really want that cat, uh?”

Cas nods with a smile. “There are so many stray cats at the shelter, Dean. It’s not fair.”

Dean can’t help but smile as he grumbles. There’s not a lot that Cas can’t make him do, and he’s probably already lost the cat battle.

Blame it on being in love.

“Alright. Write it down, then.”

The smile on Cas’ lips rivals the strength of the Sun, and Dean can’t help but smile back. Dean watches as he writes.

Adopt a cat, even if Dean doesn’t want to. Make sure that Miracle and our cat become friends.

“Have you made any resolution for next year?” Cas asks after a while, visibly curious.

Dean swallows. There’s only one thing he made a promise of doing next year, and he’s not about to spill it right here and there. That being said, it does give him an idea.

“What do you say we both write down some resolutions, and come midnight we exchange them?”

There’s a twinkle in Cas’ eye, the kind of flicker that tells Dean he’s got his boyfriend’s attention.  

“Okay. But you need to go to the library if we’re doing that, because you’re not reading what I’m writing down.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “Alright, you big baby. But Jody, Donna, and the girls are going to be there any minute now, so don’t waste time.”

“Geez, you’re bossy today,” Cas sighs before Dean leans in to give him a kiss.

Dean melts against Cas’ mouth as both his hands snake around his waist and pulls him closer. He willingly opens his mouth as Cas’ tongue swipe on his lower lips and they trade a few shallow kisses like this, pressed against each other in the silence of their room.

He can’t help but whine as Castiel slightly steps away, brushing their nose together.

“Go.”

“But —,”

“Dean,” Cas interrupts with a smile. “You just told me to be quick. We don’t have time for this right now.”

Dean sighs. “Such a buzzkill, man.”

He kisses the corner of Cas’ mouth and delights in the full-body shudder it produces before he stands.

Cas is looking at him like he’s holding the goddamn moon, and he suddenly feels very tiny under that gaze.

“I promise we’ll have all the time in the world once everyone’s gone tonight.”

And the bastard has the audacity to wink.

***

It’s pushing 1 am and for the first time in a while — actually, maybe in forever — Dean doesn’t dread that new year coming.

He’s got everything he’s ever wanted. His brother, pressed together with Eileen in one corner of the bunker as they share the same drink. His son, speaking vibrantly with Claire and Kaia on the stairs. Jody and Donna, talking with Bobby and Charlie at the end of the war table.

Cas, pressed against his side, his head tucked into the hollow of Dean’s throat.

There was a time where Dean would’ve been afraid to hold his hand in public, let alone kiss him in front of every single one of his relatives.

That time had come to pass, and he didn’t hold back on holding Castiel’s hand all night, going as far as kissing him in front of everybody when they walked under mistletoe. Cas had laughed, a hint of contentment in his eyes, and it was enough for Dean to feel safe.

He had caught Sam’s eye twinkling with pride after he kissed Cas at midnight. Claire’s smile as he held Cas close. Jody’s wink as Dean linked their hands while they were talking.

He brushes a kiss on Cas’ hairline before he whispers in his ears. “What about those New Year’s Resolutions, babe?”

“Should we go somewhere else?”

Dean nods as he takes his hand before they both rise from their spot, attracting some eyes. “Hey, we’re gonna go outside for a minute. We’ll be back.”

It’s as cold as you’d expect for a January night in Kansas, but Dean doesn’t really feel it. He’d hate to admit it, but he’s a bit nervous. Cas for his part, just looks like he’s very proud of himself as he hands a paper to Dean. Dean fiddles with his paper, his nerves getting the best of him.

“Dean?”

“Yeah, uh, here,” he hands his paper folded in four to Cas. “But I’m gonna read yours first. You can’t read mine before I’m done with yours.”

Cas eyes him curiously before he nods.

Castiel’s New Year Resolutions

Adopt a cat, even if Dean doesn’t want to.

Make sure that Miracle and our cat become friends

Learn how to cook and bake (try this thing Dean told me about that’s called Tiramisu)

Spend time with Jack

Find the meaning of this herbal tea Sam is obsessed about

Teach Dean how to sign with Eileen

Learn the piano

Maybe buy a new trenchcoat

Dean can’t help but laugh as he reads the last line. He looks at Cas who immediately raises an eyebrow at him.

“What?”

“You’re not buying a new trenchcoat unless it’s a sexy trenchcoat.”

“Does that mean you think my current trenchcoat is not “sexy”?”

“I don’t know man, you should try and put it on with nothing underneath and we’ll see if I want to jump your bones.”

“You always want to jump my bones.”

Dean laughs, unable to resist. “You’re right, I do.”

Cas frowns and Dean can’t help but lean closer and brush a kiss on his eyebrow, trying to erase the frown.

God, he loves him.

Okay, time for the big plan now.

“Why don’t you read mine, now?”

That’s it, that’s the big moment. Dean watches as Cas slowly open the paper, his hand finding Cas’ while the other one digs in his pocket.

He watches close as Castiel’s face goes through a journey of its own.

When he turns his head to catch Dean, the hunter sinks to his knees with a smile on his face and a little velvet box inside his hand.

“What do you say?” he asks, his heart beating so fast that he might end up passing out anytime.

Cas frames his face with both his hand as he leans closer, and Dean can see the way his beautiful baby blues starts watering.

“Do you really mean it?” he asks, unsure, his thumbs brushing Dean’s cheek.

“Isn’t it what resolutions are for, sweetheart?” Dean asks, his lips brushing against Cas’.

Suddenly, everything narrows down to Castiel’s mouth on his, Castiel’s hand clutching him closer, Castiel’s little moan that Dean makes a point of swallowing.

“Is that a yes?” Dean laughs against him, radiating with want and love.

Cas kisses him again, hot and slow, like he can’t ever let go.

“Yes. Yes, Dean, of course.”

The paper that holds Dean’s one and only resolutions get lost as they lose themselves in each other.

A single line is written in Dean’s neat handwriting.

Dean’s New Year Resolution

#1 — Ask Cas to marry me

— Taglist under the cut; as usual, just ask to be added or removed —

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