After Shoving Hansel In The Oven, The Witch Turns To Gretel - Who Is Currently Fending The Witch Off

After shoving Hansel in the oven, the witch turns to Gretel - who is currently fending the witch off with a gingerbread chair - and says:

“I can’t believe you thought a trail of breadcrumbs would save you. I mean, honestly, this is a forest! It’s full of animals. Honestly, the very idea that a dumb shit like you thought you could get the better of me is absurd.”

Gretel hits her in the face with said chair. To be fair to the witch, she takes the chairshot like a champ.

“Ow!”

“Did you know,” says Gretel, “that crows are capable of facial recognition?”

“Eh?” Says the witch, clambering to her feet and pulling a candy cane sledgehammer off the wall. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Not only that,” Gretel continues, “but they can remember both friends and enemies. And they’ll often follow people they remember as friends.”

The two fence with their sugared weapons for a moment, before the witch knocks the chair out of Gretel’s hands.

“Enough with the bird facts! Honestly, this whole attempted escape has been utter clownshoes. Get in the fucking oven!”

She seizes Gretel by the collar. Gretel immediately sandbags, letting her whole body go limp. This eminently practical defense forces the witch to try and deadlift her. Which is hard, as the witch often skips leg day.

“For example,” Gretel says, as the witch struggles and grunts, “if you feed crows a lot of breadcrumbs, they’ll probably start to see you as a friend and follow you in the hope of more food.”

The witch stops. Outside, she hears the thunder of wings.

“They’ll even bring you shiny things they find as presents!” Says Gretel, as a corner of the gingerbread ceiling is suddenly cut away by a large crow with a knife in its mouth.

“Oh shitballs.” Says the witch, as the crows descend. “I hope you know this is a great unkindness.”

“Technically,” Says Gretel, “It’s a murder.”

A summerset minor noble

Just GHD musings

I’m pondering Gol Hah Dov (again) and wondering people’s thoughts on a certain subject… Who is Chrysanthe?

We know he was the thrall of a nameless warlock. We know Chrysanthe is probably not his real name and may have been assigned by his former master. We know he has muscle memory of playing the lute, and that he’s generally pretty handy at sewing, smithing, etc. We know he has blue eyes which is unusual (albeit not unheard of) for high elves.

Something to note is that I, the writer, don’t actually know the answer to this, but now that GHD is in its later stages it’s something I’ve been giving more thought. I have a few theories and I wondered if some of you who read might be kind enough to discuss their thoughts too. This won’t decide anything, I’m just trying to get some ideas started. He could simply be just some guy, but here are some other ideas…

and im sorry i couldnt save you, too

[link]

The metaverse is dying, reblog to make it die faster

every time you like but dont reblog i stab luis again btw

If you give this woman money, it will go to transphobic causes. If you give this woman a platform, she will use it to boost transphobic causes. This isn't a "well nobody's perfect" or "well x other creator also did something bad once" situation, this is an inordinate amount of influence for a creator to have, and supporting her by word or wallet actively hurts trans people.