Andrew, Having Consumed Enough Caffeine To Kill Three Horses And Crawling On The Ceiling: Where Are The

Andrew, having consumed enough caffeine to kill three horses and crawling on the ceiling: where are the fresh children for me to feast upon !!

Tobey picking up a cross and backing himself into a corner: What the fuck what thefuckwHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUC-

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Andrew: I have something to tell you…

May: you can tell us anything.

Andrew: Im bi

Peter: knew it

Tobey: finally.

Uncle ben: …

Aunt May: Ben no.

Uncle ben: HI BI IM UNCLE BEN.

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Peter, directly into the intercom: attention shoppers. My friend is hot and ready to trot. He is single and ready to mingle. He is-

Ned, physically wrestling the mic out of his hands: PETER.

Daddy’s home!

new bottom surgery just dropped

*Spider-Man and Deadpool existing*

Witchy girls student #1: and they were heartmates 

Witchy girls student #2: oh my god they were heartmates

Spidey bros au

[patrol gone wrong]

Andrew filming: Spidey, can you tell us why you’re caught in your own web. Follow up question: why is your webbing extra liquid-y ?

Tobey, mumbling: cause i didn’t-

Andre: A little louder for me, bud?

Tobey: CAUSE I DIDN’T CARRY THE TWO LIKE YOU SAID NOW GET ME OUT.

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Peter: life is an ocean and I am but a smooth rock whomst has just arrived on a beach.

Andrew, already picking him up: Fuckin’ love skipping rocks.

Peter: wai- nO !!

Tobey, joining in: Skip, skip, skip, skip-

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May: Where is Peter?

Andrew, hiding a bucket behind his back: Haven’t seen him.

Tobey, kicking a shovel underneath his bed: Think he said he was going out for the week…

May:

Peter, stuck inside the wall:

Peter, about to be murdered: man i sure hope this is gonna be on buzzfeed unsolved

Murderer: *takes off mask to reveal shane madej* it will

Peter: Ohmygosh, mr madej sir !!!

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Deadpool: I don’t see why i can’t be both the love interest and the antagonist.

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Tobey: I would always think to myself “How could another person kill someone?”

Tobey: And then I met Deadpool and i was like “Oh okay.”