Spidey Bros Au

spidey bros au

Wade: i have my own sense and set of morals dont try to call me out for anything. Because:

I know what i did and I dont care

Youre dead to me.

Peter: *furiously writing notes* ohmygosh mr deadpool you’re so-

Andrew: blocked.

Tobey: demented.

-

May at 13 year old peter: if you’re going to make a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.

Peter, nodding: of course, I can’t flip the table by myself

=

May: hey-

Peter, returning home from screaming in the woods, daring an alien to take him in: I don’t wanna talk about it

Deadpool: bitches be like “you’re mine” first of all I’m on probation, “I” belong to the state.

-

Peter: i f i ever die roll my corpse down the lazy river-

Andrew: done.

Tobey: Let's get back to the part where you said “if” you ever die.

-

Andrew spider-man: If you piss off whatever is in there and we die, I promise i’ll still be angry at you up in heaven.

Deadpool: *wheezing* you think i’m going to heaven?!

Deadpool to the criminals hiding: HE THINKS I'M GOING TO HEAVEN.

Criminals and deadpool: *LAUGHING*

Spidey bros au

[patrol gone wrong]

Andrew filming: Spidey, can you tell us why you’re caught in your own web. Follow up question: why is your webbing extra liquid-y ?

Tobey, mumbling: cause i didn’t-

Andre: A little louder for me, bud?

Tobey: CAUSE I DIDN’T CARRY THE TWO LIKE YOU SAID NOW GET ME OUT.

-

Peter: life is an ocean and I am but a smooth rock whomst has just arrived on a beach.

Andrew, already picking him up: Fuckin’ love skipping rocks.

Peter: wai- nO !!

Tobey, joining in: Skip, skip, skip, skip-

-

May: Where is Peter?

Andrew, hiding a bucket behind his back: Haven’t seen him.

Tobey, kicking a shovel underneath his bed: Think he said he was going out for the week…

May:

Peter, stuck inside the wall:

*Spider-Man and Deadpool existing*

Witchy girls student #1: and they were heartmates 

Witchy girls student #2: oh my god they were heartmates

new bottom surgery just dropped

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