AND IVE ALREADY MADE FAN ART People ReaD This Fanfic Its So Good I Just Love That Daily Dose Of Angst

AND IVE ALREADY MADE FAN ART ✨ people reaD this fanfic it’s so good I just love that daily dose of angst ✨

Omnishambles

chapter 1

In which I, the Muddler, have become an invisible leech on my fellow crewmen, the Moomin tries to ignore the situation, my Joxter tries to salvage my visibility in any way he can, my uncle falls into a great sadness, and then I go to sleep.

-

Prologue

[Features the whole Oshun Oxtra. Full of angst. 3.5 k words long. Some Juddler (Joxter x Muddler) cuz I can't help myself.]

🥀

I sat there as my uncle explained to the others what had happened to me in an emotion I don't remember seeing him express before. He was normally so stoic, what happened…? I looked at the ground and only then noticed my legs weren't where they're meant to be.

Where was I? Was I… gone? As I tried to look for myself, my uncle finally explained that I seemed to have turned invisible.

Oh. So that's what this is.

I'm just invisible. Not gone – but not a ghost, either; they just can't see me under my still visible burnt saucepan. I didn't know how to feel about it. I was still trying to process what had happened, how my tin was gone. Just… Gone.

I still couldn't believe that.

I had that old thing for as long as I can remember… which, admittedly, isn't that much since I can't seem to remember much of my adolescence but, still, I'm pretty sure I've had that thing for a very long time, not to mention everything that was inside it: My penwipes, pipe cleaners, cookware, cutlery, gears, tools, pencils, clothes, jewelry… buttons… My poor buttons especially… Every one of those I've collected myself; some were gifts from my Joxter, yes, but I went to riverbanks and dumps – and you don't want to know where else – to get everything. I had to spend time walking, searching, and finding them, I had to take so many baths to clean off those horrible smells off my wretched self. All of that just to satisfy some unreasonable desire I can't even begin to describe.

And now, everything that I've gained from it is nothing but debris in the middle of nowhere, lost to rust, engulfed by the great unknowns of the abyss below our boat.

Now, I was worthless. At least, I felt so.

Hodgkins searched for my arm and lifted me up so I could stand, confirming that yes, I was there, just not able to be seen.

I looked at him as he gave me – or I suppose the ground or saucepan – the most disquieted look I've ever seen on that old blue face of his.

"Are you alright?" He asked gently.

I nodded, but all they could see was a pot tilting up and down. I looked at the others for the first time in this state.

Moomin tried to keep a serious expression but his eyes had a deep horror within them, and Joxter had such an expression of heartbreak that I desperately wished I could've mustered up an apology for him, but I'm completely voiceless as it turns out. I looked down and noticed the Nibling – I think he didn't know what to think, really, he was speechless with confusion, as we haven't known each other for long and had little to no bond.

Hodgkins' paw drifted down from above my elbow to my own paw and said "Let's take you to the pilot-house," as he guided me there.

I looked back at the crew one last time and then quickly turned back around before the guilt took hold of me. Despite this, it still eventually enveloped my heart knowing they held the same expressions as they watched us leave.

I sat down on the couch of the pilot-house and my uncle went to the chest to search for something. I looked at him and wondered why he's still bothering with doing anything to help me, still bothering to care at all. He only cares about important matters, he was always a practical man that I admired deeply, he was too big to care about little things. So why would he care about me if I wasn't at least useful? Now I'm just useless, why am I worth his time anymore?

He came up to me with a blue ribbon and snapped it in half with his claw. He kneeled before me and asked to place my paw on his, when I did so he tied the ribbon around my palm and tied it like a bracelet, he did the same to my other paw. This was so they can see where my paws are, probably so I wouldn't mess up without their foresight…

My uncle looked down at the ribbons silently and I could tell words were being discarded in his head for what he should say now, some part of him was also considering not saying anything at all, but finally he came up with a forlorn "I'm sorry…" in a tone I only heard when he rarely spoke of his past "I am so sorry…" he continued slowly "I… I shouldn't have let this… that… happen," he looked up at my pan and I noticed the mist in his eyes, this was so unlike him, I couldn't possibly muster a word if I was able to. He sighed heavily and asked guiltily; "Am I at fault?"

I shook my head decidedly, of course it's not his fault, what happened wasn't remotely controlled by him, why would he even ask this?

Hodgkins nodded sadly and patted my arm twice. He got up and moved his arm across his face, checked for tears and rubbed that part of his arm while he looked out the window. The rest of the crew was already gone by now, so he looked upward at the horizon and held onto the steering wheel.

"We'll find land," he muttered to himself and made a few things on the control panel click "We have to," he added "We have to…" he repeated more quietly and desperately.

I looked down at the floating ribbon hoops and felt sorry that this didn't go as I had hoped – I hoped that I could actually disappear, quickly and painlessly, but now I had somehow become more of an inconvenience and a reminder of things they think they've done wrong. I even made my own uncle cry, what person does that? Why is it so difficult to do anything right? I couldn't even stop being a nuisance right – at most they got to stop looking at my miserable face, but what good is that if they still had to worry about me over everything? My mind echoed apologies and I didn't have the voice to let it escape, I couldn't say sorry as I always did a million times a day, it was suffocating.

How was it that I felt more suffocated in open air than a cramped and crowded tin of metal and wood and plastic? Why did I have to be this pathetic and upsetting? Why was I like this? What was I like before? Did it matter what the answer was?

I was a wretched little thing – or rather, a wretched thing that wanted to be little. A disgusting wretched thing, really. I couldn't… I couldn't be any better if I tried. This isn't any better. Worse than I imagined, in fact.

My imagination really was rubbish.

Why must it be so difficult to not be myself for once? Why did I have to paint my tin when just the boat sufficed? I didn't even write its name properly, of course I didn't, my uncle was sparing my feelings – it was supposed to be Ocean Orchestra, not Oshun Oxtra, only an illiterate fool would call this work of craftsmanship an 'Oshun Oxtra', I didn't know at the time… if I wasn't so sensitive Hodgkins would've corrected me and I wouldn't have made this boat so laughable like myself. I was… he… he cares so much for nothing, doesn't he.

Gosh. What a mistake that must be…

I tried to curl up into a ball to muffle my own thoughts somehow and the sliding sound of my invisible paw against my saucepan alerted my uncle, he knew what I was trying to do just by the position of my paws and my headgear. I was upset, and I was trying to stop being upset, so he left the steering wheel and came over to help.

Silent as he is, he moved my paw aside and I looked at him. He wouldn't know from looking but I was on the brink of crying like a small child, but as we'd learned our song and dance from doing it over and over, he could sense it. His ears lowered and he sat next to me, being careful not to step or sit on any part of me. He crossed his arms and leaned on his legs while having some difficulty thinking of what to do or say again.

It really must be hard for a man like him to walk in a room full of eggshells that made nonsensical noises…

Out of an inability to do anything else, I slowly and hesitantly hugged his arm and back, hoping it'll make up for the lack of apology. He really seemed to need one, to me atleast, apologies were the only thing I had to offer him. My slow breathing turned into sniffles as I choked back tears thinking about how awfully insufficient or ill fitting this must be for him, and finally I cracked and started crying on his shoulder – goodness gracious, he was literally my shoulder to cry on.

Hodgkins noticed this and held my arm with a paw. "Hey hey it's alright, I'm fine, you're fine, sorry for not saying anything, I really should learn how to," he told me and rubbed his thumb on my arm "Please don't cry… I didn't mean…" his voice hollowed out and he left himself in silence.

I continued weeping and held a tighter grip on him, hoping this painful feeling could go away if I did. Hodgkins' paw moved to my back and he twisted his position so he could hug me properly.

I felt my eyes widen and then looked down, this was the first time in a while he hugged me, I was too afraid to be touched since the Booble incident. Tears welled up and I buried and rubbed my head against his chest, making the saucepan slide off. It tumbled down and hit the ground with a large bang which made both of us flinch.

The sound rang in my ears. I had ruined it, I ruined this hug and now Hodgkins will have to pick it up for me. Why did it have to be ruined? Why did I have to ruin this moment? Why…

Hodgkins didn't seem to care, he only pulled me in closer and held my head "It's fine," he muttered and continued in silence.

I felt a strange mix of emotions, but above them… I just… I really did miss being hugged by him and feeling the world melt away.

…

Is it too selfish to wish this could last longer than it should?

I wanted to be able to ask him if we could stay like this all day… but at the same time I didn't.

I didn't want him to do something he didn't want to do because he pitied me. Then again he probably did most things out of pity for me. Yet this is probably a stressful time for him, having an invisible nephew on his boat, pretty sure I'm the last member of his family that could be here with him… that's really not the best luck to have, is it?

I wanted to let go, but I didn't, but I did. It was just too nice of a hug to break out of, and I was too scared I'd hurt his feelings if I did, but also he could possibly be wishing we'd stop already. Hodgkins had a job to be the ship's captain and I was keeping him away from it. He probably really wants to check if his boat is in good condition after that horrendous storm, it should be his first priority, not me, anything but me.

Why should I be?

…

The comfortable silence was broken by Moomin's yelling below deck; "Do you really think any of this is going to work!?"

He sounded frustrated. Hodgkins and I looked at the floor and my immediate reaction was to go down and try to defuse the situation or help with what's going on, and so it also was Hodgkins' reaction awell, apparently.

He put an arm up against me as if to say I should stay here, but of course I didn't, it probably had something to do with my Joxter, after all! And he and Moomin didn't get along very well, they could get into a fight! I picked up my fallen saucepan, put it on and silently followed Hodgkins from behind to see what's going on down there.

"Muddler should be fine! He's just not visible!" I heard Moomin cry from below deck "I don't think it's worth searching for lost junk like a madman!"

We passed the Nibling looking down worriedly at the entrance (he wasn't allowed in there especially after the night he stowed away and made literally everything all sticky) and went down the stairs. Hodgkins stopped to look at the situation and I peeped behind him, holding his back. He felt my grip and looked at my saucepan but didn't say anything, both of us looked back at the scene between Moomin and Joxter.

"That's because you didn't give a jonk's whisker about him in the first place! Muddler's my friend! You're just a tag-along Hodgkins met right before we got launched into this mess of an adventure!" Joxter replied and went back to searching for something in a drawer. Moomin was holding a slightly wet fishing net and had the most offended look I've ever seen on his face.

"Tag-along!? I've worked to be a valuable member of this crew while you lazed about doing nothing but smoke and eat and sleep! If anything, you're the tag-along here!" Moomin accused. Joxter scoffed and didn't reply, only continuing to search in the drawer. Moomin was getting even angrier "Did you not hear me!?"

"Not sure about Joxter. But we heard from above deck," Hodgkins said.

Moomin's ears shot up. He dropped the fishnet and turned around to look up at my uncle and gestured toward my Joxter "Hodgkins!! Thank goodness you're here! Could you please knock some sense into this creature! He tried to recover Muddler's junk with your fishing net and that obviously didn't work, now he's trying to scrounge up anything he can to give it to Muddler, thinking it'll fix him somehow!"

He's doing that for me…? He rarely gets out of his way to do anything, and he's searching for things… for me?

"First; pick up the net," Hodgkins commanded calmly.

Moomin froze and bent down to do so "Ah, right, sorry-"

"Second; Joxter is doing what he can for what he cares about. Don't dare discourage it," Hodgkins said sternly.

"Thank you!" Joxter exclaimed exasperatedly, still looking through the drawer, he gave up and closed it in favour of the one under it. Moomin growled, irritated at this, and folded up the fishnet.

"Well if he's being 'useful', what are we meant to do?" Moomin asked.

"We… should check for damages. That storm was harsh," Hodgkins suggested and put his arm behind to pat my back, he looked down at my saucepan and asked "Do you want to stay with Joxter?"

I nodded. I felt like I needed to stay with him if he's putting in so much effort just to help me, but I still held a tight grip on Hodgkins' jacket.

Hodgkins' eyebrows and ears lowered and he lightly pushed me forward toward Joxter "It'll be fine. You're the only person he never bites."

I looked at him and slowly turned my head to look at Joxter, he seemed to be trying to analyze my saucepan and ribbons for the context of where I am. I shrank back at his gaze, yet I stepped forward shyly and held my paws together. He sat on the floor and watched me approach him slowly, he patted the ground silently, signaling that I should sit down with him. I kneeled on the wooden floor.

Hodgkins, upon seeing this interaction, felt sure enough to ascend up the stairs. Moomin followed behind, shooting us a quick glare before disappearing up himself.

I stared silent at the closed entrance. I heard rattling next to me and turned to discover it was just Joxter frantically emptying his pockets of everything he had found so far, he seemed almost excited to present them to me.

He picked up a loose cogwheel from the small pile and held it between his pointer and thumb "Look! I know it's not much but I know that the reason you turned invisible is because you lost your tin – or at least that's the thing that pushed you into it – so my thinking is that if we rebuild the collection, perhaps it can make you feel better and you can turn visible again? Maybe it wouldn't help entirely but I'm hoping that it would be enough until you can properly communicate and take the rest from there? Maybe? A whisper at least?" he maundered and offered the cog to me.

I hesitated. It reminded me too much of the time I accidentally almost choked my uncle for breakfast by dropping one in his omelette. I strongly didn't want to be reminded of it, but I didn't want to hurt Joxter's feelings either. I pushed aside my irrational feelings about it and grabbed it anyway. I felt a great lump in my throat as I examined it.

"I knew a chap once who turned invisible," Joxter began, he always knew a 'chap' who did something related to anything, I always wondered where he keeps finding them "It was because he felt very unhappy about his mistreatment and his mother forbidding him to see a good friend was enough to make him wish he could disappear, I don't think I ever saw him after he muttered his story to me like the whistling wind and ran off into a forest,"

He cupped his paws over mine which held the cogwheel "As much as I don't care for worries and do my best to simply live, I want to live with you. I can't bear the thought of never seeing your face again because some storm decided to be especially cruel."

It wasn't some storm.

"I'll try my best to help you as best I can, I'll even take over your duties on this ship if it means you can recollect yourself and have time to recover."

Please, don't force yourself.

"I owe you after every little thing you've done for me,"

No you don't.

"you are wonderful,"

I'm not.

"and I love you."

… I wanted to say 'I love you too' so badly and out of habit. But I also didn't want to. What's wrong with me?

My whole body shook and I knew he felt it as he held my paw, he was extremely puzzled as to what emotion the shaking is conveying.

"Are… are you alright, dear? Do you need to lie down?" He followed the path of my arm up to my shoulder and held it "Goodness, you're shivering! We should get you in the sleeping quarters this instant, you hear?"

I couldn't do anything but agree, I was shaking, I felt a well of awfulness bursting from my stomach, I was tired, afraid, I couldn't handle another terrible thought about how wretched everyone on this boat is, I couldn't handle myself and anyone for that matter, I wanted- no, needed to sleep.

Joxter lifted me up by the paws and guided me to my bed. I sat down on it. I fell sideways on it. I didn't feel the necessity to change my clothes even if I felt disgusting already. I needed my mind to shut up in my unconsciousness and I needed it to do so as soon as possible.

Joxter threw a blanket over me and looked at the inside of my saucepan in an attempt to make eye contact "Do you want me to stay with you?"

No.

I shook my head and waved my hand side to side.

"Alright then… oh, and we can't forget about the saucepan, you're going to wake up with an awful ache if you keep it," Joxter said and slid the pan from my head and placed it on the nearest surface. He looked at the pit on my pillow kindly "Sleep well, Muds."

I nodded, rolled over to face the wall, and slept.

But I didn't sleep well.

COUGH COUGH @ephemeral-roses COUGH COUGH @flowerbloom-arts

REBLOG if you have amazing talented artist friends!

Today’s new swear

SCRUMBUFUCKLE

AYO NEW CHAPTER TIME (trigger free)

Chapter 7 of the DM!memoirs au, (thanks to @flowerbloom-arts for helping me edit this chapter and all the other ones before!! Please go check her and her art out!!))

Joxter and Fuzzy were enjoying dinner together in sweet silence, just the feeling of enjoying each other's company. At least that’s how Fuzzy felt. Meanwhile Joxter's mind was plagued by a million 'what if’s, after a bit it was apparent to Fuzzy that Joxter seemed a bit off and was picking at his food rather than eating it. Fuzzy looked over at him and finally broke the silence “I’m sorry, I know I’m no good at cooking.” she said, assuming that Joxter was picking at his food because he didn’t like it that much.

“Hm? Oh no, it’s great, Fuzzy, really! Just- I’ve been thinking alot about something.“ he said and rushed trying to brush it off like nothing was wrong as he took a few bites of the fish on his plate, chewing rather loudly trying to drown out his own thoughts.

“Well what's been on your mind…?” asked the Fuzzy curiously, also wanting to stop hearing the loud and slightly rude chewing.

“Oh uhm…” he swallowed his food before thinking of a lame excuse he could use, he tapped his fork on the edge of his plate as he thought and Fuzzy's ears went down, not really a big fan of the clanking noise.

“Joxter-?“ she said as she gently put a paw on his arm, Joxter froze up and looked up at her.

“Yes…?”

“Oh dear, I’m sorry but- pardon me, but could you please stop tapping the fork? It makes such an upsetting ringing noise I’m not a fan of…“ she said shyly.

“Oh! The fork, right, sorry, my bad-“

“No no, it’s alright, it’s just a not too pleasant sound to hear, at least for my sensitive ears- but what’s been on your mind? You can tell me, I assure you.”

“It’s alright I was uhm…” then the perfect excuse struck him, “I was just wondering if I could see what’s in your basket of things…?”

“You really want to see my collection…?”

“Well- I mean if you're ok with it. If not I understand, I suppose!“

Fuzzy smiled and put her paws to her cheeks “Nobody sincerely wanted to see my collection before! Hold on a moment!” She skipped over to the tin and grabbed her basket and went back to where they were sitting. “Ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Replied Joxter with a smile.

Fuzzy opened her basket and started taking things out, handkerchief or two, both with her initials on them. Then some buttons and shiny little rocks, a shiny shell from the beach, a few fake glass crystals as well in an array of colors, there was some jewelry in there as well, she wasn’t sure if they were real or fake of course but most of the jewelry was busted or broken some way since she did find most of it in the trash or in lost and found bins from places here and there. But there was one necklace it was a blue sapphire pendant that was in the shape of a teardrop, it was beautiful, she loved it but she also hated it because she stole that one from a lovely lady while making dress alterations for her back when she worked at her parent's shop, not to mention there where a few other random little things such as scraps of fabric, some sewing supplies and of course buttons she took from the shop as well. A blanket she had completely forgotten about, some dried preserved flowers in a small glass jam jar along with some other things she jammed in there, some fascinating bird feathers and lastly the button Joxter gave to her on their first meeting. The one that was shiney and looked like a tiger's eye gem! All her knick knacks and oddities she happily explained where she found them and such, but she didn’t explain how she got them.

“Wow, quite a bit, eh?”

“Indeed- but I must admit I’m a bit ashamed…”

“Why’s that Fuz?”

Fuzzy looked down guiltily at some of the items “Well, some of these I snatched myself. Stolen rather! And no lady should ever steal its unlady-like and icky!”

“Oh! Well that’s not a bad thing per se! And I’ve stolen before! Do you think I’m icky?”

“Well no! But it’s- it’s not! It’s unlady-like and awful of me! I’m so gross that I've dug around rubbish for my other things and swiped a lot of them! What sort of person am I? Oh, no man will ever love me like this!” Said the Fuzzy, spiraling into guilt and covering her eyes with her paws.

“Fuzzy! There, there! It’s ok! Calm down, and really, there's no difference between a man stealing or a lady stealing and remember what I told you before? Most people are more fortunate than others and it seems like no one is missing these things! Otherwise there would be missing flyers for these missing things everywhere, but there aren't, which means they would have ended up lost or in a dump somewhere if you didn’t take them in a way…?” He said cheerily as he tried to spin it into something more optimistic to make her feel better. “But… no one could love a thief could they…?”

“I don’t think that’s true, you're lovely if you ask me and any one would be lucky to have you as their partner! So what if you take from people from time to time? It’s in the nature of some creatures.”

“You… really think so…?”

“Well yes! I have no reason to lie about it! You are a rather great thief and I find that to be a good thing! Perhaps admiring in a way?”

“Oh don’t say that!”

“But I mean it! You’ve even stolen a heart without realizing it!”

“A heart?” said Fuzzy, puzzled. As she realized what that meant her face turned red.

“I mean- I can only, uh- a-assume! I mean look at you-!“ replied Joxter, sort of panicked by his own words and Fuzzy's uncertain reaction.

Fuzzy held her paw to her cheek and smiled a little bit “Thank you Jox, it means a lot to me hearing that…” and so she felt all bubbly after he said this, it gave her a sense of hope but it also made her sad when getting Joxter's 'clarification', she simply wished he meant she had his heart, she simply hoped that one day he would feel the same for her as she felt for him, but little did she know he already felt the same, they were Just two awkward souls not ready and not sure how to share feelings like these. Joxter went back to eating and changed the subject.

“Anyway, you really did good with cooking the fish, though it could use some seasoning- maybe we can get some in town tomorrow?”

“Seasonings? Oh yes that would make it better! Though we still don’t have any money, Joxter...“

“Oh right well… hm… oh! I know I have a friend who might need some tailoring work done, you sew well and such right? I bet she’d pay us a bit to help out, possibly?”

“Oh? A friend…? What’s her name?”

“Her name's Mymble and she lives on the outskirts with her children. She's really jolly and quite a remarkable woman!” Joxter said happily.

“Oh I see- are you close with her?”

“I uhm… well yes you could say that, it’s a bit complicated though.“

“O-oh I see... Well, I'd be happy to meet her tomorrow if it means having some sort of pay!”

Joxter smiled “That’s the spirit! Though you do look worried... Don’t worry! She doesn’t bite! Some of her kids though...“ he joked around.

Fuzzy tried to smile a bit but suddenly felt saddened and put her food down, only half eaten “I see- uhm, pardon me but I think I’ll go to bed now if that’s alright with you long day tomorrow after all!“

“Oh? Uhm- alright, good night then, Fuzzy!” He tried to act casual but he could tell he messed up some way or another.

“Good night Joxter…“ she said in a quiet sigh before going into the can and curling up on her pile of blankets and pillows and other soft things, her mind swarming with thoughts and questions.

“What does he mean by complicated…? Are they dating…? Does he… love her? He must if he said it’s complicated- oh but he said she has children! So she must be married, that's why it’s complicated! Oh goodness he could never love me if he has her in mind could he? And that’s where this dress I’m wearing now came from isn’t it? She’s such a big lady- she must be strong and intimidating, probably more beautiful… goodness I could never compete!” She was overwhelmed by her own thoughts and tried to sleep it off to prepare herself for tomorrow.

Meanwhile Joxter took his and Fuzzy's wet clothes from before and shook them a bit before hanging them up on a nearby tree branch to dry for the next day, he wondered if he was going about all of this wrong. He knew he was going about all of this wrong but how else was he supposed to do it! It’s so hard to read such a shy person's emotions after all! Joxter needed some space to think, he needed something familiar, something that wasn’t Mymble or Fuzzy though something familiar that wouldn’t judge him like Moomin or Hodgkins, he needed silence but a sense of company, so he went to the very last place he thought he would go. First he went into the can and grabbed a familiar saucepan making a clanging noise as he did that alerted Fuzzy.

“Joxter is that you…?” She mumbled tiredly

“Sorry Fuz, I’m just grabbing some things, there’s something I have to do but I’ll be back later, I promise.“ he said as he lit a lantern

“O-oh…? Ok then…“ she was confused but watched Joxter leave the can with saucepan in hand, curiosity got to her as she waited a few moments for him to walk away from the can before following him from a distance. It was a good thing he had the lantern with him otherwise fuzzy would have gotten lost from him herself. She watched as he picked flowers and put them in the saucepan and in the hole on the handle as well. She wondered “Are these for the mymble lady he was talking about before…? Could these be for me…? No, not a chance- why is he out so late? I mean he isn’t an early bird so…” she thought more and more until…

She saw him get to a clearing near the outskirts of the forest, he walked far to a big rock and sat next to it leaning his head on it, putting the saucepan down in front of the rock.

“Sorry I haven’t visited in a while, Muds…”

Fuzzy heard him talking but couldn’t hear what he was saying too clearly so she crept closer quietly.

“I brought you your old saucepan at least. I mean- not like you can wear it in the state you're in… and well I brought flowers too. I would have made it into a flower crown but you know how it is you were always better at those things then I was.” He then gently set the lantern next to the stone and when Fuzzy looked closer she noticed there were candles and a few other things at the rock including some buttons and then she realized what this was, she realized she was intruding on someone visiting a grave. She felt awful after realizing.

“Things are so… complicated recently! And you're the only one I can turn to-! I know right now you would tell me that I can always turn to Hodgkins but it’s harder than it seems and I’m just so stuck… you’d want me to move on and be happy I know, but I need a sign that things will be ok! How am I supposed to… to even tell someone I love them…? I’m pathetic! I waited for you to tell me how you felt but I know that if I wait with her it won’t work. Even if she has feelings for me she’s too shy to ever tell me!“

Fuzzy got caught up on what he said “shy…? Is he talking about me…?” She felt worried so she listened a bit more trying to figure out who and what he was talking about.

“How can I tell her I love her… should… I even tell her…should I just settle for Mymble? I mean not that Mymble is settling, after all I love her too… am I just selfish?”

“So he is in love-“ thought the Fuzzy, still stuck on 'who' he's in love with, she thought for a bit longer and figured out a bit of it “So he’s having trouble picking between Mymble and some other lady… is there a possibility he was talking about me…? Golly… wait no no what’s wrong with me! I followed him and intruded on his privacy! I'm awful!” She spiraled into her own thoughts a bit as she watched Joxter lay down on the ground next to the grave.

“Mind if I spend the night here with you? Hah- I didn’t think so… thanks Muddler.” said the joxter then putting his hat over his face so as not to be disturbed.

Fuzzy looked saddened by all of this, mostly worried for Joxter and how he was feeling. She quietly went over and took a stick and poked it into the fire of the lantern to catch fire so she could hopefully re-light the candles that were at the grave site. It worked and then she took the lantern with her to guide her through the scary darkness of the night, she was so terrified with every sudden noise, she was practically tripping on her tail as she scuttled back to the tin!

When she got there she jumped back into the tin and sighed in relief before grabbing her basket and taking the blanket out of it, wrapping it around herself for some comfort, shivering with fear from the long scary walk she had just taken. Her mind quickly wandered back to Joxter, sleeping out there alone in the dark next to a grave, probably cold since there’s no blanket around him, and since he had no pillow or anything either! How was she to leave him there?! She already felt guilty for eavesdropping. She felt more guilt well up in her chest and she knew what she had to do, or rather what she had to force herself to do for him “Do it for him. Grow a spine and stop being scared for once, Fuzzy!” She said to herself trying to hype herself up a bit “You love him so you should do this! He would probably do the same for you!” She then emptied out her basket onto the floor of the tin, she re-packed it with the blanket that she had, a pillow from the tin, some of Muddler's buttons that she decided would be a good idea to leave at the grave, a few matches from Joxter's side of the tin so she could re-light the lantern if needed and she took two more things, a bird feather that was part of her own collection and a shiny glass gem that was blue and part of her collection, deciding she wanted to leave something of her own at the grave in return for the button she took.

She took a deep breath as she picked up her basket and the lantern and made her trek back to the grave, shaking and jumping at every slight noise. When she got there she saw Joxter was still asleep and snoring soundly, she quietly sat next to him and put the blanket over him, she was debating if he should lift his head to put the pillow under it or if that would wake him, so she simply put the pillow next to him and he ended up grabbing and hugging the pillow instead, he mumbled something under his breath while he slept.

Fuzzy quietly and cautiously placed some of the Muddler's old buttons back in order on the ground in front of the makeshift grave stone; she even organized them by color and size while there, occupying a bit of her time. Her lantern then went out from a gust of wind and she re-lit it quickly with a match but when she did that there was a figure sitting next to Joxter, it was a friendly looking creature, one that Fuzzy had never seen before, and for once she wasn't… frightened? Usually when someone appears out of nowhere it would scare or frighten anyone, especially Fuzzy who was prone to fright! But she wasn’t scared. Which was a surprise, the figure had such a friendly soft glow to him, Fuzzy looked over and saw the figure was just staring at Joxter with a paw over him as if to comfort him while he slept. Fuzzy then asked quietly in a whisper.

“Who… are you?”

The creature looked up with wide eyes and blinked, looking surprised and then shy.

“Sorry, I’m uhm… I'm a friend, let’s just say that.” He had such a soft smile and pupils shaped like U’s, he seemed almost like an illusion.

“Are- are you a friend of Joxter's…?” Asked the fuzzy

The creature nodded yes "And you're fuzzy right?” he asked back

“Yes I am- excuse me but… how did you know that-?“

“Well Joxter told me of course.“ he closed his eyes for a few moments and Fuzzy took a moment to look at him a bit more to notice details about him, he had whiskers and dog-like ears that covered the side of his face, he was hunched over with terrible posture, he wore a long sleeve shirt and a vest of some sort over it along with tattered oversized pants with patches on it that was being held up by a belt, and lastly he had gloves on his feet like they were socks or shoes.

“You did a lovely job organizing the buttons, I wouldn’t have done it any differently myself!” Said the figure as he smiled and leaned over looking at the buttons “It’s nice that someone brought these over here.”

“Really…? Do you think Joxter's friend Muddler would think the same?”

“Of course.” replied the figure looking down at Joxter with a melancholy look “Miss Fuzzy, I don’t have much time to say this but Joxter really took a liking to you.”

“W-wait, really?” Replied the fuzzy.

“Oh please do trust me on this one… I know we just met and I’m afraid this is the last time we will meet but he does think very fondly of you.”

“Fondly…? Does that mean he loves me?”

“Well I won’t go into detail because it's up to him and you to figure that out for yourselves of course.“ replied the friendly figure seeming to become more foggy by the second, fuzzy assumed it was because she was tired so she squinted a bit.

“Excuse me, but what does that mean?” She asked

“I’m sorry, but I can’t give too much information. Let me just say he’s loyal to the people he cares about. If you're there for him he will always be there for you so please stick by him alright?”

“I don’t plan on leaving his side unless he pushes me away- but please I just want a clear answer!”

“I’m sorry- just tell him…”

“Tell him what? I don’t know what you mean!”

“Tell him I said go for it.” The figure then moved over closer to Fuzzy and hugged her out of the blue, she wasn’t sure what to do so she closed her eyes and before she knew it, the figure simply vanished and the words that were carved into the rock seemed to glow. Fuzzy felt her heart skip a beat so strangely as she looked over to the stone and read the name on it, suddenly connecting the pieces still in disbelief. She knew she wasn’t in danger. She knew not to be scared at least of what just happened, rather she was just baffled and felt tired and serene.

“Thank you, mr. Muddler...“ she mumbled before placing a feather and the glass gem on to the top of the grave stone, she then looked over to Joxter and decided to fall asleep there with him because it felt safer than making the walk all the way back to the tin and because the words rang in her head to stick by his side. She fell asleep and in the morning woke up close to Joxter under the same blanket practically being spooned by him, Fuzzy froze up at this realization and quickly rolled away not to make things awkward just in case joxter was to wake up.

She sat up and thought back to last night, wondering if it was a dream or if it was reality, or even if it weren't a dream she had of seeing a ghost of some sort. Even if it was a figment of her worried mind it still felt… better. She felt like she had an idea of what was going on, of how things were going to be, that she had a chance with Joxter, she felt as long as she followed her heart for this she would be alright she then looked over to Joxter and lightly tapped his shoulder to wake him.

“Jox wake up-“ she said softly.

“Hmmmmm?” the Joxter hummed, slowly waking up first rubbing his eyes to wake up. When he opened his eyes he saw Fuzzy and looked confused then he stretched and grabbed his hat, putting it on “Fuzzy…? Oh uhm... Good morning…? Wait, I fell asleep here?” He said as he noticed he was asleep next to the grave “Wait, how’d you know I was here?” He said rather confused

“Oh well… I-I’m sorry but I followed you last night because I was worried about you and where you were going so late…” she seemed nervous as she said it as though she was expecting him to be angry.

Joxter then looked at the blanket covering him and how the things that were left at the grave were nicely organized “Fuzzy, I’m not mad, it's alright…” Joxter said calmly before looking over to her

“You're not…?”

“No, it was nice of you to bring me a blanket and you even organized the stuff here, honestly you organized those buttons just like Muddler would have.” He said in a sort of melancholy tone “But next time you want to follow me somewhere just ask alright? It wasn’t very nice of you to spy on me!“ he poked her nose “Though it was rather brave of you to follow me at night so I’m proud of you for that.“ he said with a smirk.

Fuzzy blushed and looked away “thank you- oh wait! Before I forget, something strange happened last night.”

“Something strange? What might that be?” Replied the Joxter, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m not sure if it was a dream… or if it was reality but, well, I know you’ll think I’m crazy after I say it but… I think I saw Muddler last night?”

Joxter furrowed his brow and tried to laugh it off “But you’ve never met him before when he was alive! You don’t even know what he looks like-“

“I know! It sounds insane but…'' Fuzzy went silent for a moment then mumbled “Well it just- it must have been a dream based on what you said to me about him- but he seemed kind and wanted me to tell you 'just go for it'. Even if it was just a dream I feel like you needed to hear that part for some reason? Like you have the right to know about it…?” She said shyly

Joxter looked puzzled and looked at the grave stone, "Just go for it, huh…?” He gently gave it a pat before getting up.

“‘It must have been a strange dream, but… thanks for telling me Fuz. Do you Want to head home now?“

“N-no problem- but sure let’s head home, I’m meeting your friend Mymble today, right? I still need to put on my normal dress, it should be dry by now I hope, I would look rather silly walking around in such a big dress as that.”

“I think you look rather cute in it, makes you look tiny!“ Joxter teased.

“Oh hush! I’m not that tiny!” She stuck her tongue out at him in playful retaliation

“Wow I’ve rubbed off on you quite a bit huh! Never thought I’d see you sticking up for yourself like this.” He said lightheartedly

“Well- maybe I could say the same about you, you're definitely different from the first time we met.”

“You think?”

“Certainly! You're much kinder and even a bit more polite, rather nice.”

“Oh, calling me a softy, I see?”

“Possibly- not that it’s a bad thing though.”

Joxter picked a flower while they walked back to the can. It was a yellow one and he put it behind Fuzzy's ear. She was a bit surprised by this and blushed.

“What did you do that for…?” Asked the Fuzzy as she took the flower out from behind her ear to look at it.

“Well I was wondering how you’d look with a flower behind your ear so I wanted to see.“

“Well…how do I look?” She said as she put it back behind her ear.

“Well, I was right you look lovely with a flower behind your ear.“

“Lovely…?” Squeaked the fuzzy surprised “Oh you're a flirt, what’s gotten into you?“ she mumbled thinking this was just one of Joxter's jokes

“I’m just being honest you look nice.“ he put his paws in his pockets and walked on ahead silently.

Fuzzy was so… confused with this situation and caught up with Joxter.

“I’m sorry if I… came off as defensive…? I just- I’m not used to getting compliments-“

“It’s alright, I was just being silly.“

“No no it honestly made me happy I just wasn’t sure how to react- and I was wondering… you know how you said things with mymble are complicated…?“

“... guessing you want details of what I mean by that.“

“Pardon me but- I mean only if you're comfortable of course!”

“I was planning on telling you eventually but I’m sort of in love with her…? And well another person at once you see, Mymble isn't really that traditional of a person, she is happy and fine with having multiple partners.“

“Multiple partners…?” Said the puzzled Fuzzy

“Well yes, she falls in love with more than one person and has relationships with them, sadly those don’t last long for her but she’s still so jolly, it's also the reason she has so many kids.“

“Oh my- I see,” mumbled Fuzzy.

“I mean, I think I want something like that to…“

“...like what?” asked Fuzzy, not getting it right away.

“A relationship like that- with more than one partner.“

“It seems complicated doesn't it?”

“I mean it sure does but it doesn’t stop how I feel, I can’t just pick one over the other because those feelings I have for the other will still stay and last.“

“May I ask who the other one is…?”

“Does the other person I have feelings for, you mean…?” Said the joxter looking down at his boots as he walked, looking anxious for once.

“If you don’t want to it’s alright-“

“I think I’ll wait a bit before I disclose that, after all I don’t think she would be ok with this sort of thing, then again I can’t assume.”

“Well, if you were going to go about this sort of thing how would you go about it…? You know, splitting your time…?"

“Oh well… I’m not sure, I don’t even have a set plan in life let alone a plan for relationships. It's stressful.”

“I see…well I feel like you should first confess your feelings to the other person so you, Mymble and the other person can all discuss these things together. that’s if the person likes you back…? Sorry if I pushed too much- but uhm… pardon me but I’m still very curious as to who it is you like…“

Joxter smirked and looked her in the eyes “oh you’ll know soon enough so let’s just leave it at that.”

And so they did. (For now)

I know I shouldn’t do this but I have a take about the moomin Corp situation, well more so of what is acceptable to spread and what’s not.

IT SHOULD BE OK TO DISTRIBUTE EPISODES OF THE MOOMINS AND CERTAIN FORMS OF MEDIA...

Under these cercimstances!;

The episode is no longer distributed in most areas meaning it’s no longer on air on any tv channels, it’s not easily found/almost lost media or if it’s not on any of the moomins official pages!

Good examples of what you CAN do in my eyes at least : re-posting episodes of the 60s adaptation that was primarily only for Japanese audiences (especially if you make some sort of fan dub or translations for alternate audiences! (You are putting effort and time and ADDING some thing to the pre-existing media that wasn’t there before! Not to mention it’s not some thing that’s being regularly distributed or re-printed! Meaning it could become lost media if not looked after so in my eyes distributing this is a good thing! Or even distributing episodes of the 90s series if it’s from the second season as long as you add some thing to it, such as new dub or sub that wasn’t there because once again moomincorp isn’t distributing it not even on YouTube

(Shortened explanation adding sub or dub to some thing that isn’t outwardly distributed any more that has potential of becoming lost media is OK to do!)

BAD sharing example!: sharing images of comics or media of theres that is mass produced, examples; if the comic is currently being printed such as the Lars jannson or Tove jannson comics DONT TOUCH IT! If it has a translation? DONT TOUCH IT! If it’s re-printing a design that isn’t your and selling it for a profit doNt touch it!

Good example of distribution!:if the comic is out of print and not making said company any money? Go ahead and share! Examples of comics that are no longer distributed/translated(to my knowledge) Finnish children’s magazines with the moomins in it that ended printing in early 2000s feel free to share! And even better? Translate to your hearts content! (There’s actually a creator on tumblr who’s been translating and re-posting the comics she has that is a good form of sharing media so it doesn’t become lost!

In short DONT claim the characters to be yours. (That’s an obvious given) BUT feel free to share fan art, FAN MADE translations, and moomins media that is not being profited off of currently!

I think that’s simple enough and of course don’t go and ask the moomins Corp if there ok with it or not because legally them (and almost any other animation company) has to say no to fan art and fan creations of any sort despite the fact they won’t really take legal action on it

Please keep in mind this is just my view on the subject and how I see it... no hate towards any one and if any one has any takes on it I would love to hear them if there not rude/insulting twords any one.

*nervous laugh* my dad just told me if I get sued by m**mincorp I’m on my own

This-this right here? Yea I’m going to make so much fan art of this eventually-

Soooooo I had this quick-ish alternate universe idea and wrote it up for 4 hours straight. It is very much angst material but it's not super angsty until the end where it goes very hard.

Characters include the Oshun Oxtra (including the Nibling), takes place after the crew drift off to sea and this is about 3 thousand words long!

This may or may not be a part 1 but I'm not making promises as I've learned that I'm horrible at them.

So, yeah, hope you enjoy!

It was only very recently that the Oshun Oxtra had lost its anchor and set off to the great blue beyond of which Muddler felt ill to think the sheer vastness of, let alone of the things that lurk beneath the blue-green tinted darkness that stared back at him whenever he looked over the railing. Despite his best judgements and his wisdom, he couldn't help but be pulled toward the side of the ship every now and then just to peer into the sea that his uncle and apparently his father were fond of in concept, his imagination (or very little imagination, as according to most creatures) couldn't help but drift to picturing the unimaginable horrors that could live in the cold, empty, salty void that only the boat could be protecting him from, it was a guilty passtime between reorganizing and re-reorganizing his collection as he so often does, despite his obvious fear of the vast entity and his own imagination.

"See anything in the water?" asked the young stowaway Nibling from behind, indeed the one who had chewed off the river-boat's anchor in the middle of two nights ago "How come you keep looking over there?" he continued asking and approached the Muddler, too short to look over the railing himself.

The Muddler snapped away from his thoughts and looked down at the Nibling with embarrassment and even confusion at his own actions "O- oh, excuse me! I'm sorry! I'm not... I don't see anything, as of yet, I'm just checking the waters just in case... You- you know how there can be dangerous things there, right? Have to keep an eye out!"

"Uh...huh," the Nibling replied with a small hesitant nod and trotted his way to the Muddler's Maxell House Coffee™ tin in small, sticky steps.

Muddler's gaze followed the Nibling and was all too concerned about why he would go there, not wanting to seem rude, he silently followed the Nibling, making sure not to step on the Nibling's trail lest his gloved feet get stuck — or be left without footwear. The Nibling tried to claw up the tin with his small paws and Muddler simply crossed his arms and said "I'm... I'm sorry but I'm not going to let you inside the tin again! You made my playing cards into collage art and my silverware into a plate just from walking on them! I'm not sure if I can let you do something like that again...!" and suddenly guilt welled up and his meek conscience, he uncrossed his arms and held his mouth "Excuse me! Sorry! I hope that didn't seem too rude, Mr. Nibling..."

"I suppose that is fair, but I don't know how I can help it like I can't help from gnawing on the big rope! It's something I'm built with!" cried the Nibling.

"But the least you could do is try to learn from it and avoid it, right...? Try not bothering- I mean, stepping on things too much? Maybe I could find you a pair of socks you could wear while you're on board?" the Muddler offered.

"Do you think that would work?" replied the Nibling.

"We'll have to try! Though it might be a while before I could find a pair small enough for you... Don't suppose I hoarded some from when I was much smaller..." the Muddler pondered to himself before entering the tin.

The Nibling waited very eagerly as metallic and other sorts of noises clunk and banged from inside the enormous coffee tin, intermingled with Muddler's undecipherable mumbling and wordless exclamations. The eagerness subsided as it was clear this really was meant to take a while as Muddler hypothesized, so the Nibling eventually just sat beside the tin and waited patiently for the Muddler to return from his journey through the condensed junk yard found within the tin.

All the while, Hodgkins, the Muddler's aforementioned uncle and captain of this river-boat, and the Moomin, a very new person who had entered their lives and seemed much more interested in interacting with the captain more than anything, were holding operations and chatting in the pilot-house (it was more of a one-sided conversation with Moomin taking the lead, but still). Moomin was proudly steering the boat as Hodgkins made fixes and adjustments in the small tower, as the man much preferred to occupy himself with tweaking every little thing on his creation to make sure things run as smoothly as it can, especially as the river-boat was not meant to sail across the sea, it'd be safer if the Oshun Oxtra was more prepared as it went on.

They would also still need to ration their food and other supplies for this sort of trip, Hodgkins would have to warn Muddler, the crew's chef, cleaner and other things, about having to minimize the consumption and usage of the food supply in their meals, but of course they would have to take into account their food going bad, contamination, having an extra mouth to possibly feed, a plan B in case of miscalculation... Goodness, why did that Nibling have to stowaway and ruin everything like this? These are far too many variables to consider just for food of all things, they'd also have to worry about clean water and sanitation and potential danger and morale or sanity, most of which Hodgkins barely has a proper grasp on to even begin thinking on it!

"Wouldn't you think so, Hodgkins?" Moomin's voice suddenly broke through the train of thought.

"Hm?" Hodgkins turned around to face Moomin, utterly lost as to what he was talking about.

"Oh, perhaps I didn't speak too clearly- I meant that exploring such a vast place such as the ocean would be great for our prospects of being adventurers, right?" Moomin elaborated. And that was quite literally the opposite perspective from what Hodgkins was thinking of.

"Not quite," Hodgkins answered, attention going to the map on the pilot-house's wall "Considering all the practicalities that come with it. And the danger. Can't even be sure where we could be..." he landed a knee on the couch beneath the map and tried to pinpoint their location with his finger, he circled the North Sea as he was aware they were leaving the east of England, so it figures they would be in that particular part of the world "We're somewhere here, I think. Might be closer to our country, hard to tell. The area is too large to pinpoint, still, very likely rife with sea-monsters, or storms... I'm no expert," Hodgkins shrugged "We have to be prepared, don't want my nephew or Joxter or you to get hurt."

Moomin looked at Hodgkins and asked "What about you?"

"That, too," he replied and sat on the couch "Eyes where you're steering, Moomin."

"Oh, aye Captain," Moomin turned around toward the window, suddenly he noticed some dark clouds over the horizon and felt uneasy, he checked the barometer at his side "Hodgkins, I believe there might be a storm approaching if my eyes don't deceive me..."

Hodgkins tilted his head and noticed the dark clouds approaching, his ear flicked and he stood up "I'll consult Joxter, see if he has any input," he said and approached the door.

"Are you really going to think that Joxter would know how to tell the future?" Moomin said impatiently.

"Just for a gist, I trust his forebodings," Hodgkins replied and left. He could hear Moomin mumbling something under his breath before shutting the door.

Hodgkins went to Muddler's tin, ignored the Nibling sitting beside it and knocked on the lid for Muddler himself to peer out, Hodgkins leaned sideways to look his nephew in the eye "Storm approaching, we need Joxter's opinion," he said and lifted the lid up.

"Oh gosh! A storm?" exclaimed the Muddler and got out "I'm sorry that I couldn't find socks for you, Nibling, but this seems more important!" he apologized.

"It's alright! Storms are pretty scary, I think, I'd leave finding socks to do something else too if I were you," the Nibling said and turned the corner to look toward the dark clouds approaching and gulped.

Hodgkins basically dragged Muddler by the arm as the poor creature seemed so horrified at the sight of it that he froze, but of course he had to stumble in the direction Hodgkins was leading him, which was below deck.

Joxter had been sleeping in the, well, sleeping quarters for a few hours now as he usually did. He heard the two approaching from a above and slightly lifted his hat to see what they were intending to do there, then Hodgkins nudged Muddler to approach Joxter, which he did.

"Hey, sorry to wake you, Joxter..." Muddler said sheepishly.

"It's quite alright," he replied gently and sat up from his bed "Is anything the matter?"

"There's... There's a storm incoming, I think, and we hope that you might know if how bad it's going to be? Please?" Muddler answered. Joxter held a finger up to his chin with a very non-serious expression on his face "Joxter! This is serious!" Muddler added, unamused by this attempt at humour.

"Alright! Goodness!" Joxter said and got down from his bed, he walked past Hodgkins and said "Hullo to you too, captain Hodgkins," with a sarcastic salute jabbing at the lack of greeting from him. Hodgkins rolled his eyes and the three of them went above deck together, the storm noticeably being closer than before "Yep, that seems like an awful storm coming soon..." Joxter commented before a pain pierced his nose.

"Ah! Fiddlesticks!" he exclaimed painfully, holding his face "MMM... YES! Darn it! This will be an awful one indeed!" he cried. Muddler held Joxter worriedly and tried to hug his arm.

"I should get inside the tin, then-"

"I wouldn't recommend getting in the tin for protection, dear," Joxter interrupted Muddler and looked at him with a serious expression, then looked up at the sky cautiously.

Moomin broke the door open "The barometer is getting seriously low!" he yelled, looking (metaphorically) pale.

"I'll be steering," Hodgkins mildly yelled back and climbed the stairs to the pilot house "The rest of you go below deck until this is over."

"Excuse me! But what about the coffee tin!?" Muddler cried to his uncle.

"Afraid it can't be brought with you," Hodgkins said, and he was being very truthful in this as the stairway's entrance couldn't fit the coffee tin even if they somehow managed to carry it all the way there.

"NO!!!" screamed the Muddler.

Joxter held Muddler as he squirmed to approach Hodgkins "It will be alright!" he said, he proceeded to escort Muddler below deck. Moomin followed thereafter but not without giving Hodgkins a concerned look.

Hodgkins grabbed the steering wheel and then noticed the sticky sensation on the floor as he stepped on it, he turned around and saw the Nibling was sitting on the couch behind him "Since... When did you get here?" he asked.

"Since Muddler left with you," Nibling answered candidly.

Hodgkins stared at the Nibling for a few seconds, then shook his head and looked forward at the storm.

Below deck, the three crewmates were waiting for the storm to pass. Joxter smoked and played solitaire with his deck of cards, Moomin was pacing around the room, and Muddler sat balled up in the corner of the room, anxious for both his uncle and his coffee tin. This went on with quiet uneasiness and downright paranoia for a few minutes before the boat started noticeably swaying and ruined the Joxter's game, though he merely shrugged off the loss as bigger priorities were in order. The crew could hear the coffee tin gliding across the ceiling in all sorts of directions above their heads, which didn't do much aside from giving the Joxter and Moomin a sense of how much the boat is swaying and putting Muddler on the verge of a heart attack, this went on for a several long minutes until Muddler couldn't bear the sound or thought anymore and decided to go above despite the others' urgent warning and his own logical reasoning.

The door to the exit was dripping with water and, with a shakey paw, Muddler opened it to witness the great rainstorm and raging tides that swayed the river-boat unfit for such weather. Muddler trembled and tried to lift himself up and saw his tin sliding past. Overcome with a near-animalistic impulse to protect his collection, he almost ran after it before his uncle yelled at him asking what he was doing there and that he told him to stay below deck. Muddler suddenly felt regret strike him through the spine but his attention was soon switched with the priority of his tin above even himself. It was a cartoonish goose chase around the deck as the Muddler would trip before catching his tin and his uncle was simply trying his best to keep the ship from capsizing.

Muddler finally managed to hold onto his tin in a moment of sudden calm and relief. The storm was fading into a shower, the weather became brighter, and Muddler was gasping for air from exhaustion.

He seemed proud of himself for such a foolish venture, he beat the storm and made it out intanct, he didn't lose anything, he was fine, everything was fine. He's alright. There's nothing he should be afraid of anymore. Muddler could slip and hit the ground comfortably knowing that the tin is safe.

The boat jossled and then a large thing which seemed like a pillar or a tentacle shot out by the boat's side from underwater and threw everyone on the boat in the air, including the coffee tin. The pillar retreated back into the sea and so did the boat violently rock from side to side. The coffee tin flew across the boat, hit the railing and before Muddler could catch up to it, it slid off into the depths, the lid opened and everything sank into the unknown darkness right before Muddler's eyes.

The boat finally stabilized again. The last few droplets from the big finale landed. Muddler stood frozen over the railing, arms reaching out below, breathing heavily, eyes widened.

Muddler was in shock.

What happened? What was that? Why? Questions echoed in his head. The thoughts were akin to a small child asking innocent questions about the event, and then it quickly descended into accusatory madness trying to come up with an answer himself. In only a few seconds his mind was barking a thousand hateful reasons as to why this happened to him, all pointing at him for the blame, all overwhelming him with spite, and he didn't like it. The thoughts hounded him like rabid dogs, saying that this is was a punishment for his misdeeds and idiocy, screaming that this was his inevitability after so long, and others would squeak back questions of whys and hows. These thoughts would clash and yell over eachother, echoing and repeating, growling and seething, whirling and reeling, they mangled every corner of his consciousness and left no room to breath, all weeping and wrecking every shred of love he had within him.

It wasn't only the loss of his coffee tin that made this happen; something similar happened with the loss of Hodgkins' house to the foot of Edward the Booble, but at the very least it was the tangible fault of someone else, and he had his things and his family, then after a long while after Hodgkins revealed his secret project, he almost choked him with a cogwheel over breakfast, then he painted the boat and got paint all over himself, then painted his tin, then slept in paint all night, then he had to prepare for moving away from a home he's known his whole life, then almost suffocated and drowned in his tin during a river flood, then wished for the Groke to have eaten a hemulen who was promptly taken away by Niblings right after, then he couldn't make any use of himself on the boat, and now he lost his precious collection that kept him sane through all of this. What's next? Losing Hodgkins and Joxter?

His thoughts continued to scream at him, the uncohesive riot slowly gained organization and turned into an angry choir of 'you deserve this', he deserved it for being so dumb, he deserved it for all the things he did over his blurry childhood, he deserved it for being so sensitive, he deserved it for making his uncle almost eat a cogwheel, he deserved it for not thinking ahead, he deserved it for wishing the Hemulen Aunt to be eaten, he deserved having everything taken away from him, parents, home, collection and soon, all. Existing felt like a painful thing after all of this. He just wants it to end now, this weight on his chest, this pain all over his mind and body, this oversensitivity toward everything, having to play both the angry parent and the hurt and guilty child at the same time. He pulled his thoughts together into a quiet desire to just disappear. To do a favor for everyone else and not bother them any longer. Dark, somewhat bloody tears flooded down his face (this is normal for him and his species, Muddlers have tears like dogs) like they do all the time when he feels this. He just wanted to go away, to leave everyone alone, to not have to deal with how he thinks or feels.

The dark clouds parted as the storm ended. Sunbeams shined through and lit up the Oshun Oxtra. Muddler, though, flickered in and out of visibility as the sun's rays expressed no desire to touch something so pathetic and undeserving of their light, and soon his face faded, then the rest of clothes, only leaving a floating saucepan in the air. Out of sight, out of mind, as the Muddler so quietly desired, but he was still physically present, he was there, you just couldn't see him.

Hodgkins rushed out the pilot-house and approached the floating pan where he witnessed Muddler disappear. He reached out a hesitant paw and felt Muddler's jacket where it was meant to be, but still couldn't see. The saucepan rotated in the air as if it turned to look at him, Hodgkins seemed completely lost on any of this.

"Muddler...?" he managed to let out very quietly, misty-eyed.

Joxter and Moomin got out from below deck when they sensed the storm passed, and Hodgkins tried his best to explain what happened without cracking.