Talking To People Recently Out Of Prison: A Do-and-don't Guide

talking to people recently out of prison: a do-and-don't guide

Don't ask, "How was prison?" (Answer: traumatic!)

Do ask, "What are you most looking forward to doing again now that you're out?"

Don't ask, "How long were you in for?" (Answer: too long!)

Do ask, "Is there any technology or pop culture I can help catch you up on?"

Don't ask, "How are you going to avoid getting back into bad behaviors?" (Leave the paternalistic bullshit to their PO.)

Do ask, "How's your support network? Do you have people helping you adjust?"

Don't ask, "Do you have a job yet?" (Their PO is asking them ALL the time, don't worry.)

Do ask, "Are there any opportunities I should keep an ear out for and let you know about?"

Don't ask, "Do you have an ankle monitor?" (And definitely don't ask to see it - no one likes to be gawked at.)

Do ask, "Do you have parole restrictions we need to accommodate when making plans?"

Don't say, "Hey, you shouldn't be doing that - it's against your parole!" (A lot of parole restrictions are bullshit, and they are an adult who deserves agency, even the agency to take risks.)

Do ask, "Are there any bullshit parole restrictions you need help working around?"

Don't ask, "Are you an addict?" (Not everyone in prison is, and they'll tell you if they want you to know.)

Do say, "If there's stuff you might get in trouble for, like empty alcohol containers, I can throw them away at my place."

Don't say, "It's probably best if you put your whole prison life behind you and start fresh." (Just because it was traumatic doesn't mean important experiences and relationships didn't happen there.)

Do say, "If you have letters from friends on the inside that you don't want your PO to find, you can keep them at my place."

Don't say, "You paid your debt to society." (Regardless of what they may have done, harm cannot be repaid through senseless suffering.)

Do say, "You are more than the worst thing you've ever done."

Do not ever ask "What were you arrested for?"/"What did you do?"/"Were you guilty?"

People are more than the worst thing they've ever done.

in light of the trailer for the new captain america movie dropping, a reminder that bds has asked people to boycott this film specifically due to marvel's refusal to remove the character of sabra.

laurae, a small Native farmer who built up her farm over the last five years, was served a 90-day eviction notice despite being promised by the landowner that she would be given a purchase agreement and the farm would never be sold to another person. Everything she has is in this farm - she’s put thousands of hours of work into it, built her cabin by hand, and invested every penny she’s made back into it. we are fighting to help her get the money to purchase her land before someone else buys it and kicks her - and us, her tenants who had no access to land without her help - off.

she ships her jams & honey, which you can buy here

you can also donate directly to the gofundme here

I know we’re all hurting right now and the world is fucked. but I love laurae and she’s done so much for all the people in her life. She has nowhere to go, no other options for a home, and no means to start over. she is a veteran, a survivor of multiple cancers, and close to fifty. all she wants is to live out her days on her farm till she hands it off to the next generation of farmers and I don’t want to see that simple thing taken away from her.

etsy just put out a sitewide ban on anything with nudity beyond breasts (and if it shows those it has to be "artistic"), most sex toys, etc. so if youre a seller of those items heads up, and if youre a prospective buyer go ahead and buy that stuff while you can. :(

the ban also applies to gory art, art with swears, and some kinds of taxidermy

Why do my interests in canning, couponing, and homesteading overlap so often with blogs with titles like ‘The Obedient Housewife’?