REFLECTION | Chapter 5 (Finale Pt.1)

REFLECTION | Chapter 5 (Finale Pt.1)

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«You don’t love me, beautiful, do you?»

1+1=1 (Part 1 of Series Finale) 📜8k | Approx. 34-min read 🚨Refer to series masterlist for general themes & warnings of this story: May contain factual inaccuracies (it's fiction, just play along), emotional turmoil, themes of jealousy and possessiveness, perversion tendencies (somnophilia, lingerie...), oral sex, anal sex, unprotected sex, cumplay, creampie. 💭Reblogs & comments are always appreciated and please keep in mind they are the ultimate motivation fuel. 🍮Like my content? Consider supporting my work with a pudding!

Little things matter much more than you think. They make all the difference in the world. Remove one letter from a word, and the meaning changes completely.

Like how the only difference between painting and panting is the letter I.

You and I.

You thought you had it all figured out. You thought you had seen it all and done it all when it came to sex. At its core, it was a simple act consisting of rhythmic motions to get organically high. To blast your brain with massive amounts of dopamine like fucking electroshock therapy just so you could temporarily forget the mundaneness of life. A very cheap thrill that could be found at every corner.

It didn’t matter who the other person was. It never did. They came in different shapes and sizes, but everybody you had ever bedded was essentially the same. 

The guy based his performance evaluation solely on his size as if the more inches he packed, it automatically meant he was the shit and he would please better. He thought he either needed a big dick or some tricks up his sleeve to make someone cum, but never both. That additional effort would make him look needy. Everybody wanted someone with confidence after all—a man who could make a girl scream just by doing the bare minimum, right?

Yeah, right.

The girl thought her desirability was determined by her slim waist, firm breasts, juicy ass, and the nonexistence of body hair. She thought having smooth skin and a low body fat percentage was what defined beauty. Everybody was lusting after her, and she picked you to eat her tight pussy. Did you know how many people would kill to finger her? She was doing you a huge favor, so consider yourself lucky maybe. Obviously, she wouldn’t have to do anything else besides just lying there and spreading her legs for you, right?

Yeah, right.

They came in different moans and positions, but everybody you had ever bedded was essentially the same. They were just after feeling good about themselves. Using strangers as a proxy to feel like they mattered. It was nothing more than knock-off therapy. At its core, sex was just a currency. It was a simple act of borrowing someone’s bodily fluids in exchange for proof of self-worth. 

And you were getting tired of it all. 

You had seen it all and done it all. Nothing could surprise you anymore.

Yet you lived to see the day you breached the premises of some uncharted territory.

Exploring Hyunjin’s turn ons was much like reading a gripping suspense novel. In the opening sequence, you would have this false sense of uneventfulness, maybe one little intriguing moment in the passing, but that was it. Then all of a sudden, BAM! Shock value. 

He was always incredibly passionate in bed, but with time, you started noticing the little changes. How he was gradually feeling safer and safer with you to do certain things, say certain things to truly enjoy himself while enjoying you. You were his biggest enabler to let loose.

And once he did, having sex with Hyunjin became nothing short of a religious experience.

“Tell me the filthiest things you want us to do to each other, baby.”

I want you.

“You’re drooling. You can’t take all of me in your mouth, can you?”

I want you.

“Your face is so pleasing to look at, pretty.”

“Then why don’t you fucking cum on it?”

I want you.

You had never been one to shy away from being vocal about what you liked, but when it was with Hyunjin, everything hit you tenfold more intensely. If you so much as insinuated that you wanted ice cream, he would bring you the entire goddamn truck. Whenever one of you craved the other, it was only a matter of seconds until you were infected with acute onset lust, and you just had to have each other right then and there. It didn’t matter where. 

It never did.

One morning as he was going through his mail, Hyunjin noticed the invitation to the annual artist mixer event at the gallery, which he refused to attend every year. Why bother? It was a lot of people that he didn’t know, and it was going to be nothing but a source of a panic attack to be in that crowd. He never collaborated with anyone, nor did he have any intention of ever doing so.

But he felt like going this year. With your arm locked with his. Everyone was going to know he had somebody, and they were there to stay. He felt like showing off his muse. He wanted to watch people flinch with jealousy because you were his muse. You were inspiring him to paint his sickest, most twisted work ever. You were ridding him of unbearable burdens, and trying to do it by himself had always been a futile endeavor. He was forever going to be grateful for you solely for that alone. You made him want to become better.

For you.

“I’ll go mingle and see if I can network, okay? I’ll be right back, pretty.”

Words had a way of traveling fast—you were notorious for always being down to party, and you happened to know the rules of the game in this industry. Nevertheless, you had promised yourself that you weren’t going to do anything that could upset Hyunjin. You were used to people throwing themselves at you at events like this. It was always under the disguise of being friendly when in fact it was downright flirtatious if not a very obvious move to get in your pants.

What you were not used to, however, was people throwing themselves at Hyunjin. The second you left, for that matter.

You observed it from afar for some time. Hyunjin was clearly flustered by the apparent advances of some woman in a very tight dress accentuating her breasts, touching his arm and laughing hysterically at everything he said. She was probably a fan, or more like a ‘sophisticated’ groupie. You were overcome with this urge to highfive this bitch on the face with a chair, but you kept your composure with a very convincing smile and barged in on their conversation.

“I’m so sorry, but I need to steal him just for a second. I’ll return him back to you momentarily.”

“Don’t make me miss him too much,” the nameless woman replied with her predatory gaze still glued on Hyunjin’s perfect features.

You pulled him to some corner away from that woman’s peripheral vision and asked very nonchalantly.

“Having fun, pretty?”

“I’m– I’m so sorry. I– I tried telling them I wasn’t interes–”

“It’s okay,” you interrupted him with a crooked smile, “Flirt back.”

He was visibly confused. Was this some sort of a test? Did you have some kind of an ulterior motive because why on earth would you even tell him to d—

“Wh-What do you mean?”

“Flirt back,” you repeated once again, “I want to watch.”

“You want me to do that?”

“Yes,” your grin grew wider, “But I want you to watch me, too.”

You wanted him to flirt with this woman. And you wanted him to watch you accept advances from other people. Right in front of him. When you noticed his posture was getting tense, you wrapped your arms around his waist and started caressing his back.

“We belong to each other, pretty,” you softly brushed his cheek with your other hand, “You know you’re all mine, right?”

It was at that moment Hyunjin finally took the hint. You were familiar with his smiles by then. The one he flashed when he was happy, when he was shy, when he was charmed…

And when he was aroused.

“Am I?” he tilted his head, “I could use a reminder.”

“Keep your eyes on me,” you whispered against his lips, coaxing him into a kiss, “Then meet me at the restroom to come get what’s yours.”

You left him there and went back to carry on with the conversation you were pretending to enjoy with a man you most certainly were not attracted to. Come to think of it, you weren’t attracted to anyone else ever since you started seeing one horny painter guy.

This man was vile, to say the least. Physically, he got nothing on Hyunjin—that was a given, but he didn’t even know how to be smooth. You were familiar with his kind. He probably didn’t feel the need. He must have been loaded as fuck to attract basic bitches on the daily, which made him think he could get with anyone he laid his eyes on. Little did he know your kind also existed, and you most certainly did not give a fuck about the likes of him.

Then you noticed Hyunjin in the distance.

His eyes were intently on you, checking out your every movement. The more he let this woman touch him, the more shamelessly you flirted with the tall man in front of you. You got mad. He got mad. You excused yourself to the restroom. He followed right after you.

And you shared your most passionate kiss to date with him when that door closed right behind you.

“You’re just twisted as fuck, aren’t you beautiful?”

“And you goddamn like it,” you bit into his plush lips, “It’s so fucking hot watching someone else want you when I know they can’t have you.”

All of a sudden, you felt a strong grip in your hair. Your words pleased him. Watching you enraged him to no end, but it pleased him beyond words nevertheless.

“Nor can they have you,” Hyunjin emphatically declared, “I don’t want nobody else but me to have you.”

“Of course they can’t. I’m your girl.”

There were no words to describe what Hyunjin’s lips felt like. They felt like the most comforting thing ever. They felt like your untimely demise. They were the most delicious thing you had ever tasted. Every single time. He could never be satisfied just by kissing you, of course. He had to feel you under his touch. Feel how you were reacting to him by caressing you. Your face. Your skin. Your pussy. Always wet whenever he slipped his fingers between your legs.

Fucking tattoo my name on your thighs. It should spell ‘Eat Me Hyunjin.’

“Spread,” he ordered with a firm voice while lifting you up on the sink, “I wanna lick your cunt.”

It was impossible not to admire you when you were covered with a thick coat of slick because of him. It was impossible for him not to groan at the sight. He was the luckiest man alive, he knew that, but did you? Did you know how much appreciation he had for you? Did you know how much he missed you even when he was sleeping right next to you? Did you know he could give up everything just to be able to eat your pussy for three meals a day?

“God, yes!” you instinctively grabbed fistfuls of his hair when you felt that wet contact you loved so much, “Eat up, pretty.”

You had people go down on you before but never as hungrily as Hyunjin did. The man’s eagerness was simply unmatched. He was losing all sense of reality every time he dragged his tongue all over your folds as if he had a personal vendetta against you. Like it was a matter of pride to get you to moan as loudly as possible by simply eating you out. He loved making you cum just with his sucks on your clit, but he did it with such enthusiasm that you could never stop yourself from wanting more. Much more.

“Fuck me,” you pulled his face up, “Fuck me hard against this door.”

Hyunjin grabbed you by your wrists and pinned you against the restroom door. 

“Arch it.”

You bent over so that he was able to see his target perfectly. You heard him unbuckle his belt behind you and felt the delicious pressure of his tip against your glistening folds.

“Oh, GOD, you’re so fucking wet,” he loudly groaned while sliding into you, “Just how the fuck are you always this ready?”

What kind of a redundant question was that? One look at Hyunjin and of course you were ready to go. No one could be as seductive as him. No one could awaken your most carnal urges as quickly as he did. It was a Hyunjin-exclusive thing. One whiff of his scent and you were ready to be a slave to please him.

“Faster,” you managed to utter as you were struggling to breathe, “Cum on my underwear.”

“Why do you keep saying things like that?!”

“Because I love getting you as horny as possible,” you snickered looking dead into his eyes, “For me.”

“No one else can turn me on like this,” Hyunjin did his utmost best not to make your lips bleed, “You’re the one, beautiful.”

You knew this wasn’t what it looked like. If anybody saw what was going down in that confined space, they would simply deem it as porn, but this was how you and Hyunjin loved each other. Unabashedly. Unapologetically. Stripped to the bone. As raw as it could be.

“They’ll know,” he panted against your nape, “My cum will drip down your thighs. They’ll know you’re mine.”

You instinctively grabbed his nape to pull him closer. That was the terms and conditions of fucking each other. No amount of air was allowed to pass through between your bodies.

“Spit,” he offered his fingers to you. You knew what that meant. He loved using you as your very own lube while rubbing your clit.

“Fuck, spank me, pretty,” you dug your fingers into his flesh, “Make it hurt.”

Normally, Hyunjin never had the heart to even consider inflicting any kind of pain on you. Physically or emotionally. The only exception to that rule was you desperately asking him to do just that for your own pleasure.

He would do anything to please you.

“Hyunjin!”

“Shh,” he pressed his large hand against your mouth while still mercilessly pounding into you, “Keep it down.”

“Let them hear,” you broke free of his restraints, “I want them to hear you’re throwing my back out in here.”

You wanted them to hear? He would make them hear. He picked up his pace to a ruthless rhythm to basically fuck you into that door and it didn’t take long before he snapped that coil inside you, making you moan his name over and over again.

“Good girl,” he breathily whispered in your ear when you started contracting around him. One thing he couldn’t really calculate was how fucking impossible it was to hold back when you came all over his cock.

“Fuck, FUCK, I’m gonna cum,” he swiveled you to face him, “Turn around.”

You wanted this. You wanted him to finish on your underwear, so of course he would do that. What else was he supposed to do?

I want to love you in every way you ask of me. I want you.

But it wasn’t enough. Once Hyunjin unloaded on the thin piece of fabric, he smeared his cock on the mess he made and fucked a few more pumps into you.

“For good measure,” he spoke against your skin, “You know I’m yours, beautiful. I’m only yours.”

You kissed each other hungrily to punctuate your little escapade in that restroom. Your foreheads pressed together, you caught your breaths while stupidly giggling. You almost told him you loved him, but for some dumb reason, you just couldn’t. Not that you needed to. Hyunjin already knew you loved him anyway. 

He had to know, right?

The uncharted territory you had trespassed with Hyunjin also involved discovering the things neither of you was even aware you liked.

Occasionally, he would wake up in the middle of the night in cold sweat, but watching you peacefully sleep right next to him would immediately calm him down. You. Just sleeping naked. Quietly breathing. Your chest slowly rising and falling. He would calm down alright, but then he would notice how hard your nipples were, and another test of willpower would ensue. Were you seeing him in your dream maybe? Was he pleasing you just the way you liked even in your subconscious? If you were dreaming about him, what were you two doing? Was he fingering you when you stopped at a red light? Were you fucking each other on every possible surface of your place until you were both spent? Were you asking him to pretty please let you peg him again?

But more importantly, how was he supposed to see you like that and not do something about it when he was rock hard?

He didn’t even try to be discreet about it. He secretly wished you would wake up to see him touch himself to you. Your beauty was nothing short of live porn to him that he had the privilege to share a bed with. He came to how imperfectly perfect you were. He came to all your memories together your mere sight awakened in his mind. He came to the remains of your echoing moans still rippling throughout his body. He came all over himself night after night every time he was wide awake.

Hyunjin thought he was being considerate by not actively interrupting your sleep for his selfish gains, but you knew what he was doing. His soft moans right next to you would wake you up to let you know he was pleasuring himself while watching you. Why else would you shift in your sleep to stick out your ass towards him and bury a content grin into the pillowcase? You secretly wished he would cum on you so that you could relentlessly tease him for it.

Then one day at the breakfast table, you leisurely uttered while checking your email as if you were telling him the score of last night’s game.

“You can do things to me in my sleep, by the way. I don’t mind.”

He almost choked on his coffee.

Why the fuck would you even tell him that? Why would you enable him like that? You had brought this on yourself. 

You wished you had done that sooner because you started losing sleep in the most delicious way possible.

That very night, you woke up with a feeling of slickness between your legs accompanied by faint vibrations against your swollen clit instead of Hyunjin moaning right beside you.

“Pretty?”

You lifted up the duvet to see Hyunjin hugging your thighs and making out with your clit with his eyes closed. He didn’t answer. It was already quite warm under the covers, so you got rid of it to let him breathe easy. Still half-asleep, you listened to the sticky sounds his lips made. You caressed his silky hair. You watched him eat your pussy. You moaned his name while arching towards his beautiful face. You let him hug you from behind and kiss your neck.

“Baby, can I– can I put it in?”

A simple request, no? 

Fuck no.

It was a necessity. Hyunjin had to sleep with his cock inside you. Especially when you were that wet.

A pleading whisper. A sleepy smile. A content sigh. An approving nod. His chest flush against your back. His arm around your waist. Languorous thrusts deep into your soaked cunt, still slightly contracting from having just cum on his face. His soft moans in your ear like a custom-made lullaby for you. Warm spurts of his seed on your walls. His breathing slowing down in the crook of your neck as he drifted back to sleep.

It was usually around dawn that he started getting an erection again. Feeling him grow inside you occasionally woke you up, but more importantly, how were you supposed to feel him get that hard and not do something about it?

You thought you were being considerate by not actively interrupting his sleep for your selfish gains, but he knew what you were doing. The pressure of your ass pressing against his crotch would wake him up to let him know you were fucking yourself against him. Why else would he pull you closer so that he was buried deeper inside you? He secretly wished you wouldn’t be able to take it anymore and just start riding him.

For you, Hyunjin was the most beautiful thing that ever walked this earth. He was a young god meant to be pleasured. To be satisfied out of his mind. He was everything. Even in his most demure moments, the man exuded sex, and it was blowing your goddamn mind how fucking blind he was to himself. He was triggering your most fucked up fantasies, and it took an iron-clad willpower to resist riding him in his sleep.

You couldn’t even spell willpower properly.

“Baby? What are you–?”

His cock buried deep inside you, your hands on either side of his pillow, you met his gaze.

You panicked for a second.

He thinks you’re a pervert. A nymphomaniac. He thinks something is wrong with you. He thinks— 

“I’m– I’m so sorry. You were– You just looked–”

An apology meant remorse, and under normal circumstances, you should have stopped doing what you were sorry for. But Hyunjin was no normal circumstance and he was never going to be one. You kept going. He watched you ride him with half-open eyes, consciousness barely there, thinking he was having another wet dream about you.

“It’s okay,” he sleepily smiled as he held onto your ass and heaved a content sigh indicative of how good he was feeling, “Fuck me back to sleep.”

Hyunjin didn’t mind being woken up by you. He was looking forward to this for the longest time. When he was the one who couldn’t drift to dreamland because he had a really bad hankering for you, by god he didn’t give a fuck about disturbing your sleep one bit ever since you told him he had a free pass.

He licked his fingers and started rubbing your clit. You were throbbing. He was twitching. It was such a simple touch, but Hyunjin was setting an uncontainable wildfire on your body.

Uncharted territory.

Before meeting Hyunjin, nobody had ever loved you when you were naked. 

Little did you know, buried six feet under the valleys of his mind, Hyunjin carried the fear of losing you like a badly made tattoo.

Little things matter much more than you think. They make all the difference in the world. Remove one letter from a word, and the meaning changes completely.

Like how the only difference between painting and panting is the letter I.

You and I.

Unless it’s for therapeutic purposes, you can’t just randomly start painting. You need to start with a skeleton. A sketch. Linework. Then colors come into the picture. Then texture. Then light. Or the lack thereof. Shadows. Dark ones. Perfect for lurking in while discovering your deepest, most hidden desires with that one person that makes you feel like you’re overdosing on life. To take shelter in while deliriously consuming each other and not be seen.

Hyunjin had always worked alone. Even when he used to paint at the gallery studios, no one was allowed in there. He didn’t like having people around, so much so that he never even once used a real-life model.

But for some reason, he had a feeling he would produce his best work if you pleasured him while working. 

There was something inexplicable about you that riled him up to no end. Yes, you were beautiful—you were the most beautiful thing ever for him, but there was much more to you than met the eye. It was a vibe thing. It was the aura you were exuding. It was your manner of speaking. It was how you were hiding behind a veil of nonchalance when you actually cared. You cared so much. Too much for your own good.

And by fucking god, you were sex materialized. He didn’t have a lot to compare to, but Hyunjin knew nothing could ever come close to how you made him feel. You made him feel insane. One harmless thought about what you were doing that day always shapeshifted into a series of racy fantasies about bending you over and fucking you senseless. Not to cum, just to feel you as close as possible while making you feel good. He couldn’t help it. 

You were the best thing that had ever happened to him.

The best part was that he didn’t need to hide these thoughts from you—he could be transparently unhinged, and to his absolute bewilderment, you actually found it very attractive about him. You were the one who took him to his first sex shop trip for fuck’s sake. You were his biggest enabler to let loose. You were his inspiration. You were his muse. How the heck that happened, he had no idea, but you were with him even with your absence. You were like a lucid dream. 

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon, and he wanted to work for some time when you were in the shower. Lately, you were all he could think about every time he walked into this space. You. Your skin. Your scent. He wanted to fuck you here for once. He wanted to fuck you on every surface of his apartment. He wanted you to leave trails everywhere. Your fingerprints. Your cum stains. Strands of your hair. He never not wanted to be reminded of you. You were haunting him, and you were going to haunt him forever; he was sure.

His breath hitched in his throat when he imagined you blowing him with slow drags of your tongue, just playing with him, edging him for hours on end for inspirational purposes. He squeezed his eyes, and unbeknownst to himself, started talking out loud while languidly stroking his flushed cock.

“So… So warm… God, so wet.”

“You need an extra hand with that?” 

Hyunjin almost had a heart attack when your voice suddenly echoed in his studio. He got so caught up in the images behind his eyelids that he didn’t realize the water had stopped running in the bathroom. He didn’t even notice the flowery scent of your shower gel filling up the space.

“You better be masturbating to the thought of me,” you brazenly grinned while drying your hair with a towel and started walking towards him. Mortified that he got caught red-handed, he rushed to put his bottoms back on.

“Hey, no takebacks!” you stopped his clumsy attempt and made yourself comfortable in his lap, “You never put extra chairs in here. I need a seat for myself.”

Everybody had a reason to exist, and Hyunjin was becoming more convinced with each passing day that yours was to kill him. He let out a content sigh when he felt the delightful contrast of your cool post-shower breeze against his skin and your warmth on his naked thighs, and smiled with his eyes closed when you kissed him.

“You have such pretty dimples, you know that? They’re only visible when you smile from the heart,” you reflected the curls at the corner of his lips back to him, “What were you thinking about?”

With a tinge of embarrassment still lacing his voice, Hyunjin gulped and answered while playing with your damp hair.

“What– what it would be like if– if I was in your mouth while I’m working.”

God fucking damn this man and his insatiable appetite… 

“I always thought you having a TV on an easel here was an interesting choice,” you commented while looking at the big screen behind you, “What are you watching there?”

You were reminded of your very first time in this apartment all of a sudden. Of what you and Hyunjin ended up watching. Ended up doing. You squinted your eyes.

“Are you watching that ‘forbidden love’ porn here, pretty? Is that what inspires you?” you kissed the tip of his nose, “Do you imagine it’s us?”

“I always imagine it’s us whatever I watch.”

“What was it that you told me? Between my legs in my office all day,” you got up to kneel down, “Maybe I wanna be between your legs all day, too.”

The little sounds he made and his anticipating looks were never not going to excite you. You loved how he didn’t feel the need to hide how much power you had over him. Lord knows Hyunjin had as much power over you, as well. You grabbed the brush resting on the easel behind you and handed it to him.

“Get to work.”

Pretty. There was a reason you called Hyunjin pretty, but it wasn’t solely because of his looks. He had such a delicate soul, reminding you that there were people like him living and breathing in this world. He was the reason you felt like you needed to check yourself and become better in certain aspects. He was the reason you felt like you were deserving of love. He was such a passionate man. So innocent if you thought about it. Innocence didn’t solely mean being clueless about things. You were just sure Hyunjin didn’t have a malicious bone in his body.

“Shit, don’t– don’t tease me like that,” he let out an impatient whimper.

“I thought you liked getting edged, pretty.”

“I’ve been… at this for a while.”

“Since when?”

“Since you– since you walked into the shower,” he trailed off like he was ashamed to admit to his crimes.

“Then why didn’t you join me?”

Hyunjin snapped his eyes open, wide in disbelief of what he just heard, and watched you pull yourself up to straddle him again. He was burning from head to toe and not even feeling your cool skin on him like a cold compress was helping his spiking fever.

“The water was running anyway,” you started grinding against his rock-hard cock with your arms thrown around his neck, relishing the much-needed friction against your buzzing clit, “You could have spit on me. You could have shot your cum anywhere on my body.”

What sick pleasure were you taking in ruining him with your mere words he didn’t know, but he sure as hell loved it. And how much he loved it was apparent in the delightful notes of his moans. You felt him twitch and your smile grew wider at the sensation.

“Your precum is pooling around your slit,” you bit your lips and brushed your finger on the thick liquid to collect it, “I’m craving something salty all of a sudden.”

You licked his essence and kissed him lazily. While there was nothing more he enjoyed than feeling your lips on his, the anticipation was starting to slowly kill him. You descended between his legs again in an excruciatingly slow motion, egging him on to give in to his urges completely. Hyunjin finally caved, and you felt his grip in your still-moist hair.

“Suck me off, beautiful. Finish me.”

There it was. His possessed form. Such an enthralling thing to witness, immediately maximizing your arousal levels.

“I fucking love it when you talk to me like that, pretty.”

“Talk– Shit– talk t-to you how?”

“In imperatives,” you licked a long trail on his cock, “Order me around. Use me for your pleasure.”

You held him in a comfortably tight grip and started stroking him. Hyunjin relaxed in his chair and instantly started melting under your touch.

“Does it feel good?”

“Fuck yeah.”

You didn’t waste any time to provide him with the wet warmth he was yearning for. He was growing bigger in your mouth with each swipe of your tongue. You slowly descended to his tightened balls while jerking him off. It was a great idea in theory, but it turned out Hyunjin was not able to work when you were pleasuring him since he loudly cracked his brush in half.

“Fucking god, you’re– You’re so—”

“Where do you wanna finish, pretty? On my face? Down my throat?” then you whispered, “In my ass?”

“Oh, fuck me!”

“Looks like we have a winner,” you grinned at him, “Do you have something I can stretch myself with?”

“Don’t go,” Hyunjin grabbed your wrists when you got up, “I can– I can stretch you.”

“You would?” you stroked his face lovingly, “You would do that for me, baby?”

He melted into a puddle every time you called him that. You sat back into his lap and hugged him.

“Tell me how you’re gonna stretch me.”

“I’ll get you wet as fuck,” he spoke against your neck, “I’ll tease you. I’ll eat your pussy. I’ll make you cum. It’s gonna drip all the way down to your asshole. Then I’ll work you open.”

“Your filthy mouth gets me wet as fuck as it is, pretty,” you contently giggled, “Can’t believe I let you kiss me with that.”

“Then don’t turn me on this much,” he pouted, “I can’t fucking control it.”

Your scent was enveloping him. Not the shower gel. You. Dripping on him. There was nothing sexier than your natural flavor, and Hyunjin did not possess the self-control to resist that.

“You smell amazing,” he stole a kiss from your lips, “God, why do you smell so fucking erotic?!”

When you least expected it, Hyunjin wrapped your legs around his waist and got up to carry you to his bedroom, kissing you all the way there while moaning into your mouth.

You were already creamy with slick covering you. He bent your knees to clearly see your entrance and soaked your clit with as much saliva as he could collect to watch it run down to your asshole. 

“You’re the one, beautiful. You’re the one I want.”

Then he began devouring your pussy with his usual fervor, munching on it, slurping on it, using the tip of his tongue to tease every single sensitive spot so that you would ooze more. It was like watching a river overflow because of a heavy thunderstorm. The clear fluid was secreting out of you and it was so hard to resist keeping his favorite flavor all to himself, but he had a mission to complete. He was going to use you as your own lube. Again.

Right after making you cum in his mouth, Hyunjin grabbed a chrome-clad butt plug from his nightstand.

“Damn, you know how to ruin a girl, don’t you?”

“I don’t,” he asserted, “I just wanna know how to ruin you.”

Well, he already knew. Hyunjin’s passionate existence was enough for you to have very violent orgasms. You loved the way he pleased you. You loved the way he loved you. He carefully nestled the vibrating small sphere against your entrance and started fucking you with careful thrusts to work you open.

“Shit, that’s— Oh my god!” you grabbed fistfuls of his sheets, “I’m so using that on you next time we fuck.”

“You can if let you catch a break.”

God, why was he so fucking sexy every time he became this? It only came out when he was overwhelmed with desire, erasing his usual timid colors in a heartbeat.

“Like that. Just like that. Stretch me,” you kept encouraging him while he was gawking at you with lips apart, “Mold me into a sleeve for you.”

Hyunjin was trying his best to distract himself since he was getting harder to your words alone, and he was going to cum untouched if you kept it up. Once he was convinced you were properly prepped for him, he made his way inside you.

“Tight,” he immediately groaned, “You’re so fucking tight.”

“I know,” you flashed him a fucked out grin, “You’re not gonna last long, are you?”

No, he wasn’t. Hyunjin was suspecting he was going to unload before he even sank into you halfway.

“Am I– am I hurting you?”

“No, pretty. I love feeling you this close.”

His heart swelled in his chest all of a sudden. While carefully paving his way into you with very cautious movements, he showered your legs with kisses, and then he grabbed the sphere to press it on your clit. You instinctively clenched at the buzzing sensation and Hyunjin almost lost his mind right then and there.

“Clench,” he breathily pleaded, “Oh, FUCK, baby, you’re killing me. Clench. Clench!!!”

You milked his cum out of him by contracting as hard as you could and listened to his animalistically guttural moans as he spilled inside of you. This was a very new feeling that Hyunjin didn’t even know existed. He slowly pulled out and sealed you close with the sphere again.

“The plug stays,” he climbed over you and started drowning you in kisses, “I want you to walk around with my cum inside you today.”

“I like it very much when you get freaky with me, pretty,” you smiled into his lips.

After you had lunch together, you drove Hyunjin back home before heading back to the studio.

“I’ll be super busy for the next two days, but I’ll call you as soon as I’m done, okay?”

Hyunjin nodded, but he was lingering. It looked like he wanted to say something, but he was struggling to find the right words. You, on the other hand, knew exactly what you wanted to say to him, but the words just would not come out.

Say it. Say it! You know it, he knows it, just fucking SAY IT ALREADY!

They were just words, but when you had no prior experience uttering them, it became the most daunting task ever. You gave up and leaned into him to kiss him instead. 

Hyunjin got out of the car with an uneasy feeling in his chest. It was just two days, but he got so used to your presence by then. He was going to be lonely without you. He was going to miss you so much.

When he turned the key in the lock of his front door, he was greeted by a very unwelcome guest inside.

“Your fair lady’s not coming?”

“She has work.”

“You fucking bought that?” Hyunjae derisively laughed, “She just left to get herself properly gangbanged by those rapper guys. I shouldn’t need to spell this out for you.”

“The fuck do you want, Jae?”

As Hyunjin walked into his living room and threw himself on the couch to rest his eyes, Hyunjae put down the book he was shuffling through and rested his elbows on the backrest.

“You don’t actually think she wants you, do you?” he tilted his head and spoke softly, “I mean you’re literally a placeholder.”

“Go away.”

“She didn’t even spare an ‘I love you’ to you after all this time, did she?” 

“Go away.”

“This will keep happening. You need me to exist.” 

“I said go away!”

Hyunjin sat up straight in one go. He had to tell you. He had to tell you before you found out yourself. Consumed with anger, he grabbed a trash bag and headed straight to the locked bathroom cabinet where Jae’s spray dyes resided to throw them away.

“As if I can’t buy new ones and stash them somewhere else, fucking christ.”

“Shut the fuck up, Jae! Let go of me!!!”

Hyunjin’s heart dropped to his stomach when the doorbell rang. Nobody ever came to visit him, so it– it had to be—

“Hide,” he whispered to Hyunjae and threateningly pointed his finger at him, “And do not… make… a sound.”

He took a few deep breaths before opening the door, but this was the first time seeing you did not help his panic levels at all.

“I think I forgot my charger here, but it seems like this isn’t the only thing I’m gonna be annoyed about today,” you barged into the hallway, “That fucker is here to bother you, isn’t he?”

“No, it’s–”

“Where is he?” you spat, fuming out of your ears, “I’m gonna give him a piece of my mind. Where the fuck is he?!”

You checked room after room, but it looked like Hyunjin was the only occupant there. You crashed into him hard when you were making your way back to the living room, and the trash bag he was holding fell on the hardwood floor, its contents scattering everywhere.

Scarlet red, silver blue, ash gray…

At that very moment, Hyunjin felt the breathy moist whisper in his left ear.

“We fucked way before your sorry ass, you know,” he quietly chuckled, “And she fucking loved it.”

Hyunjin kept mumbling to himself time and time again like a prayer, tightly squeezing his eyes shut, begging for this to be just a nightmare.

“Stop talking. Stop talking. Stop talking.”

Your eyes were glued to the spray cans like you were in a complete trance. Hyunjin didn’t know that you were wishing for the exact same thing right about now. For this to be a nightmare. This wasn’t funny. This was cruel. And you knew a thing or two about cruelty.

“It’s— It was you?”

You weren’t able to control how fast your eyes were welling up to blur your vision. You had jinxed it yourself. You were oh so sure Hyunjin didn’t have a malicious bone in his body, and yet there he was. He fucking played you like a violin all this time.

Was he just way too good at this, or were you exceptionally dumb?

“You’re the one dancing,” you took a step back, “You’re the escort.”

Hyunjin couldn’t breathe. This was the ultimate exhibit of Murphy’s law. Everything that could have possible gone wrong, had. It didn’t even go wrong; it fucking derailed.

“D-don’t go. Please.”

You had always been confident. You gave negative fucks about everything. Fuck the norms. Fuck the rules. Fuck expectations. That was what made your personality larger than life. 

But at that moment, your voice came out so small that it felt like you time traveled to when you were seven years old.

“You– you lied to me, pretty?” your voice cracked into a million pieces.

“NO! No, I swear I didn’t. It– it wasn’t me.”

“It wasn’t you?!” your sorrow immediately shapeshifted into fury, “So one day I’ll wake up and the person next to me might not be you? I’m just gonna be okay with you fucking people for a living and let you treat me like absolute shit because it’s not you?”

“It’s– It’s not…”

“I watched you in a fucking orgy!”

“In a what?”

“How can you not remember this monstrosity?!!” you flat out screamed at his face, tugging on your hair in exasperation, “I need to get the fuck out of here.”

As you took quick steps towards the front door Hyunjin dashed after you and grabbed your wrists.

“Please don’t go!”

“Answer this question,” you point-blank asked him, “Do you or do you not have a twin?”

He was trying to control his breathing, but spectacularly failing at it. This was it. He was gonna lose you forever. Of course he was going to. He always had. You were too good to be true anyway. 

“I– I don’t.”

It wasn’t how mad you were. He wished you were mad. It was the look of absolute heartbreak that annihilated his soul. Now it was his turn to let his tears run free down his face.

“You don’t love me, beautiful, do you?”

“Don’t do that,” you sharply inhaled through your nose, “Don’t change the subject, you’re n–”

“You’re gonna leave, too, aren’t you?”

“Listen to me…”

Then his graceful tears devolved into very loud sobs. Who the fuck cared? Who the fuck cared about how twisted he looked when he knew he was seeing you for the last time?

“You’re gonna leave.”

“Hyunjin!!!”

Hyunjin ran out of his own apartment as fast as he could. Hyunjae’s distorted voice was taunting him in his head with a deafening echo causing devastating earthquakes in his mind.

She doesn’t want you.

She doesn’t want you.

She doesn’t want you.

You’re a nobody.

You tried distracting yourself by throwing yourself at your work, but that feeling of restlessness was quickly metastasizing in your heart. You swallowed your pride and tried calling Hyunjin a couple of times, but he wasn’t answering his phone. After about ten tries, it started going straight to voice mail, probably because he ran out of juice. You weren’t a religious person per se, but you were praying to everything you could think of that you would find him sleeping when you went back to his place.

He wasn’t.

You went to the corner store, the gallery, and even the club to cover all the bases you could think of, but he was nowhere to be found. You went back home and kept calling him with a faint hope that it would somehow ring.

You thought this was just an unfinished fight, and Hyunjin would show up sooner or later.

He didn’t.

That night you laid down in his bed engulfed in his scent, but you couldn’t sleep a wink. You didn’t know what to do. You didn’t know who to go to.

You remembered him telling you about the gallery curator being a long-time client of his. You decided to see them first thing in the morning before calling the police.

Please be safe, pretty. I love you too much.

“Aria Specter?” you called out to the gray-haired woman sitting behind her desk.

“Yes?”

You cleared your throat to produce a stable voice, but you knew you were going to fail. You should have at least rehearsed what you were going to say to this person before showing up unannounced.

“I uh… I’m a fr–”

Friend? Were you really about to say fucking friend? Still?

“If you don’t mind me asking, who exactly are you?” she leaned back in her chair with creased brows.

“I’m– er erhm… I’m Hyunjin’s girlfriend. I mean, I think.”

“You think?”

“We uh– we never really officially talked about it.”

Aria rolled her eyes so hard you could almost hear them. She was clearly annoyed for some reason. Trying to be civil was not going to cut it, so you decided to just go for it.

“Hyunjin’s missing, Ms. Specter,” your voice trembled, “He left home yesterday and never came back. I’m– I’m really worried.”

You just told this woman he was missing, but her expression didn’t change one bit.

“No, he isn’t.”

The relief you felt was instant. Your eyes beamed at her words.

“You… You know where he is?” you grabbed the edges of her ebony desk, “Please tell me.”

“It goes without saying that Hyunjin is a very special man,” Aria softly exhaled, “I know your kind. You’re going to torture him for your self-serving reasons, too. Please leave.”

“NO! I swear I’m not like that! I– I lo–”

Goddammit why were you unable to finish that sentence? It was just words. Fucking words! Of course it wasn’t because you didn’t feel it. When you had no prior experience uttering them, it just became the most daunting task ever. 

“Please,” you continued with your pleas, “I don’t know what to do. If you know anything, please tell me.”

She lifted her head up and examined your face with a tired expression. 

“Can’t believe this is happening again,” she scoffed, “He’d made so much progress after last time.”

“Last– last time?”

“About two years ago, I think. Until that cunt tore his soul apart,” she emphasized the profanity, completely unexpected of her graceful demeanor, “My dear boy locked himself in his apartment and refused to leave. Not even for his treatment.”

“What treatment?” you questioned, somewhat scared.

“You seem like a smart girl. I’d think you would have connected the dots already,” Aria cocked her brows a little derisively. “Hyunjin has dissociative identity disorder.”

⥊ TO BE CONTINUED ⥋

AUTHOR'S NOTE

🍮Like my content? Consider supporting my work with a pudding!

The final chapter got way out of hand so I decided to divide it in half. Writing this story takes so much out of me, but have I mentioned I love pain?

If you enjoyed this story, feel free to share your thoughts with me in reblogs, tags, or in my inbox. As long as you're kind, that is.

-R. (CB97%)

📢Regarding tagging: Please do not ask me to tag you if you won't be meaningfully engaging with my work. Additionally, I do not tag ageless and/or blank blogs, nor can I tag you if your blog is listed as "invisible" / if you've changed your URL and didn't let me know. Thank you for your cooperation in advance!

🔖Story taglist: @yourhwngness ; @minaamhh ; @hyunreveries ; @midsoulz ; @kileidoscope

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HOTEL VERMILION | Masterlist

«GENERAL M.LIST» · «ABOUT/FAQ» · «ASK» · «TREAT ME TO PUDDING?🍮»

❗ DISCLAIMER: Please read About & FAQs before you engage. All work incorporates afab!Reader insert unless otherwise stated.

LEGEND 🖤Pairing · 📜Word Count · 🪐AU/Genre/Trope · 🚨 Warnings

SYNOPSIS Master of hospitality, manners like no other, incredibly discreet, the face of Hotel Vermilion. Concierge Hwang Hyunjin.

When you check in to Room 320 indefinitely, he just knows something is about to shift in his world.

For good.

📓Chapter 0/(?), Explicit, Upcoming in 2023 🖤Hyunjin x Reader 🪐Hospitality AU: Steamy, Mystery, Crime, Psychological Thriller 🚨General themes explored & warnings: Mutual obsession, hints of yandere behavior, murder, explicit sexual content, strong language. ❗Reader discretion strongly advised: While each chapter will feature its respective warnings, not everything that takes place in this work of fiction may be revealed in the warnings to avoid spoilers (except violence elements where applicable). Please read at your own risk.

📖CONTENT · Chapter 1: How May I Be Of Service?

«GENERAL M.LIST» · «ABOUT/FAQ» · «ASK» · «TREAT ME TO PUDDING?🍮»

📢Regarding tagging: Please do not ask me to tag you if you won't be meaningfully engaging with my work. Additionally, I do not tag ageless and/or blank blogs, nor can I tag you if your blog is listed as "invisible" / if you've changed your URL and didn't let me know. Thank you for your cooperation in advance!

📌Permanent taglist: @sai-kida134 ; @straywrds ; @hwan-g ; @svintsandghosts ; @skz317cb97 ; @abiaswreck ; @changbinluvr ; @lotus-dly ; @imsuchasimp00 ; @downforseochangbin ; @nabis-dreamscape-world ; @oiphoebe ; @chansynie ; @staytheword : @venustired ; @yoongihan ; @hyunskizz ; @sikebishes ; @changbinheart ; @downbadreading ; @bxffietheblxxdy ; @j-0ne25 ; @binstitsweat ; @skizzel-reblogs ; @reallyloudstarlight ; @lifeinakpopbubble ; @honeymooncrz ; @djeniryuu ; @squishylee612 ; @hgema ; @gold-dragon-slayer ; @babebatter ; @ladylexis ; @dwaekkiluver ; @quokka95scum ; @guiltycoco ; @sunnyseungup

—lost.

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader

genre: fluff, non-established relationship, college au, dance major hyunjin, art major reader

word count: 2.5k

summary: when hyunjin invites you over to watch a movie. or maybe two.

a/n: helloooo, this is a watercolor bonus part i had in my drafts for forever lmao. it's supposed to be right after part 21, when hyunjin invites y/n over to watch a movie. since i had nothing planned for jinnie's birthday and this was pretty much done, i decided to finish it (fix it) for once and for all jdñskdñs. i hope you guys enjoy! please let me know your thoughts on it, you know i love gossiping with you all<3

You had been the one to make the first move that evening. It was subtle, innocent — your head gently resting on Hyunjin's shoulder as your backs rested against the couch.

For a moment there, you had wondered whether he had even noticed that small act of yours, for his eyes remained focused on the movie playing in front —Your Name, just like he had promised when he had invited you over— and you had not felt him neither relax nor tense up over your bold move.

His lack of reaction could only make you anxious, not to say embarrassed. However, just as you had given up and were starting to sit back up, Hyunjin's arm was loosely placed over your shoulders, stopping you from moving away from him and then taking it one step further by resting his hand on your upper arm, so he could pull you closer to him and keep you from moving further away.

A small smile curved up the corners of your mouth, snuggling up against him and then letting a contented sigh out when his head rested on yours.

That's how it started, at least. Snuggling with him being as much as you were expecting that day.

That being as much as you needed to be the happiest.

But then his thumb began to draw small circles on your arm — goosebumps showing up on your skin, managing to let you know just how much the most simple of touches from him affected you. It would've been embarrassing if you weren't already so open about your feelings for him.

Then you looked up at him with a shy smile, and he smiled back; his eyes matching the sweetness of yours as they looked up at him.

Everything after that felt natural, almost familiar.

He leaned in ever so carefully and gently bumped his nose on yours. You let out a breathy laugh, and cupped his cheek in your hand as your lips finally met midway.

Just like that, not even a minute later, you were lying down on the sofa after Hyunjin had softly pushed you back down on it — the movie now long forgotten while he laid on top of you and his tongue opened its way into your mouth.

No matter how many times you kissed —which, to be fair, had not been that many since that one night at the art studio—, you could not seem to get used to it.

The ever so soft feel of his plump lips on yours, the way they trapped your own in between, the way his tongue would massage yours in a way that would drive you crazy in a second and the way his hot breathing would mix with yours… Everything about him and his kisses was perfect. Absolutely perfect. And you were sure that no matter how many times you got to get a taste of his lips, you would not be able to grow used to it, nor to get enough of it.

Which is why a small whine abandoned your mouth when his lips were no longer on yours, leaning in looking for them once again and earning a low chuckle from him before he leaned down to plant one last chaste kiss on them to calm your needy ass. Before you could protest again, his mouth was placed on the corner of your lips, then on your cheek, on your chin — simply as that, peppering kisses all the way down to your neck.

Your breathing became heavier with the first touch of his wet lips to the sensitive skin on your neck, unconsciously tilting your head so he could have better access to it. You could feel Hyunjin smiling against your flesh, enjoying both the taste of you and the effect he had on you, as he felt you shiver under his touch.

Nuzzling the crook of your neck, he couldn't help a breathy laugh from escaping his mouth over the way you had pulled slightly away before he could press a kiss to it. 

Ticklish. 

That didn't stop him, though, and you were glad he did not give up. If anything, you smiled in utter content when his lips were placed on the sensitive spot they had tried kissing seconds ago.

"Don't you dare leave a mark" you warned him the moment you felt his teeth ever so faintly graze your skin.

Hyunjin chuckled against the spot he had been teasing, pressing one last open mouth kiss to it before he went back up to your mouth. "Why?" his lips brushed yours. "Don't want other guys to know you were with me?"

Your laugh was muffled by him, as his lips trapped your bottom one. "They wouldn't know you were the one I was with anyway".

Watching his mouth open slightly agape in defeat, you chuckled, pulling him into another kiss by the collar of his hoodie. That was all it took for him to let your taunting words go, as he got lost in your addictive touch.

A small, breathy moan escaped his mouth and was muffled by yours when your fingers ran through his hair and gently pulled at it. That got you a lip bite in response — his teeth ever so teasingly catching your bottom lip in between them and tenderly pulling at it, before his mouth was once again doing wonders on yours.

The hand of his that had been holding your waist all along loosened its grip on you, travelling down to the hem of your sweater and lifting it slightly up as he dug his hand inside. An almost inaudible gasp ran past your lips at the feel of his warm hand on your bare skin. 

His touch was gentle, as opposed to the rather passionate way his mouth was sucking on yours. He held your waist once more, just like he had been doing before — only now his thumb was drawing gentle circles on your hot skin.

Gentle. Everything about his touch right then was gentle. So goddamn gentle, it was almost painful. 

Gentle enough to make you melt underneath him. Gentle enough to let you know you were in too deep.

"Wait…" you managed to mumble against his lips. "I don't—I'm not…"

"I'm not trying anything," he promised, catching on to your hesitation. "I won't do anything, don't worry".

You nodded, only then managing to catch your breath. "Okay…"

Hyunjin smiled, allowing a light laugh to escape his mouth as he rested his forehead on yours.

"What?" you wondered, feeling the corners of your mouth curving up at the mere sight of his smile.

He shook his head in amusement, simply cupping your cheek in his other hand. "You're so cute".

You felt your cheeks burn, having to look down in order for him not to realise just how flustered he made you feel.

"I just wanna touch you here," he confessed, running his thumb up and down the curve of your waist. "Can I?"

You smiled softly, with a simple nod giving him the green light he was waiting for not to remove his hand, and to connect his lips with yours for what felt like the hundredth time that night. His kisses now matched the gentleness of his thumb against your skin.

Pressing one last kiss to your mouth and giving you a smile that had you once more melting right then and there, he rested his head on your chest — hand still caressing your waist under your sweater as he focused back on the movie.

As delusional as it sounded, he couldn't stop his mind from wandering back to when you and Felix had been watching movies together at your place. He remembered how Felix had told him you made a great pillow, and although he one hundred percent agreed, he could only wonder if he had been lying down on you like this.

Hyunjin thought he only hated the idea of you and Changbin together. But right then, as images of Felix being in his place before invaded his mind, he realised he also hated the idea of you and him together.

One of your hands resting on his back and the other one on his head, so your fingers could ever so tenderly run through his hair in such a way he wished you would never stop, was all it took for all those thoughts of his to go away.

You were with him right then. You were underneath him, kissing him and snuggling him. Every other guy in your life could not mean any less of a threat.

-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

Letting out a relaxed sigh when the credits began to roll, Hyunjin made himself more comfortable on your body, quietly enjoying the way your fingers were still lovingly massaging his scalp.

"Should we watch another movie?" he wondered after a couple of seconds, scared of either saying or doing anything that would have you move away from him.

You failed to give him an answer, instead removing your hand from his hair, just like he had feared. Confused at the sudden loss of your touch, he lifted his head up to take a look at you, only to be met with your glossy eyes and wet cheeks as you rushed to dry them out with the back of your hands.

"You're crying?" Hyunjin asked, a pinch of worry and one of endearment clear in his eyes.

You shook your head no. "M—not".

A soft smile curved up his mouth, removing your hands from off your face so he could take over instead — small strokes of his thumbs on your cheeks managing to wipe the few tear stains that were left. 

"You're so cute, oh my God" he giggled.

"Shut up…" you whined, not finding it in you to hold his stare as his eyes turned into two crescent moons. "I wasn't joking when I told you to have tissues prepared for me".

Hyunjin laughed under his breath, nuzzling the crook of your neck before he obnoxiously wrapped his arms around you. "And I told you my arms around you were better".

You rolled your eyes. "Yeah… I'm not so sure about that".

"You don't believe that" he hummed, playfully pinching your sides before he looked back up at you. "So how about another movie? One that'll lift up your mood?"

"Do we have time for another one?" you wondered.

His eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Isn't Changbin coming home soon? Or Seungmin?" you tilted your head questioningly. "Although I guess they could always join us".

Eyebrows knitting even closer together, he took his phone out of his pocket so he could check the time. "There's still some time before Bin hyung comes back. And I doubt Min-ie is coming back anytime soon, he'll probably still be at yours when you go back".

You joined in his laughter at that. Chae hadn't texted you at all, so you thought Hyunjin was onto something. She and Seungmin were probably going to enjoy every last second they got alone together at your dorm.

"Okay then," you smiled. "Do I get to pick the next one?"

"Mhm…" he nodded, sitting up for a moment so he could look for the remote that had been thrown somewhere in the middle of your previous make out session. "Something that won't make you cry".

"Oh! Let's watch something from Studio Ghibli" you perked up, taking the remote from his hands. 

"Oh, so you're one of those?" he teased, a bright smile adorning his lips.

"Shut up, their art style is amazing" you bit back, not sparing him one glance while you searched for the movie you were looking for. "We're watching Howl's Moving Castle and you're liking it".

"I do like it" he chucked, going back to rest on your chest. 

"Good," you nodded as you pressed play. 

"You know, you're very defensive when it comes to Studio Ghibli" Hyunjin taunted.

You laughed under your breath, earning a small laugh from him as he felt your chest shake underneath him. "I just love their movies so much".

"I can see that," he smiled. "Although I can't tell whether you like Howl's Moving Castle for the plot or for Howl, like every other screaming girl".

Your mouth opened in full offense, shoving him off by his shoulders and having him giggle at the sight of you. "You take that back now".

"Am I wrong, though?" he pushed it instead.

"I'd choose my next words very carefully if I were you, Hwang Hyunjin" you squinted your eyes at him. "You do look like Howl after all".

His mouth opened in what looked like a perfect 'o'. "I so do not".

"You do!" you fought back, hands digging back in his hair. "If you let your hair grow, you'd be a perfect cosplay of him".

"You're delusional now" he accused you.

"I'm not" you tauntingly stuck your tongue out.

Watching his eyes roll in amusement, you did not miss the way his smile had turned into a smirk. "Is that why you like me so much then?"

Your cheeks burned up in a second, looking away from him as a throaty laugh of his reached your ears. 

Good thing you had always been open about your enormous crush on him.

Before you could move on to another topic or even try to come up with a witty reply, you felt his cloudlike lips trap your bottom one in them. "You're cute" he mumbled against your mouth, pressing another chaste kiss to it.

"You've said that a lot today" you smiled, shyly.

He chuckled. "Just being honest".

"Can we watch my one and only love, Howl, now?" you teased.

Hyunjin laughed under his breath, giving you a small nod and a soft kiss before he was resting on your chest again. "Yeah, we can watch the cartoon version of me now".

Although you had rolled your eyes at his way with words, you said nothing, finding yourself getting lost in the moment not even a minute into the movie — lost in the way Hyunjin's face pressed on your chest, lost in the way his hand dug back inside your sweater and caressed your skin just like he had asked for permission earlier that day.

Lost in the movie, and in the way your breathing was in sync with his. 

Lost in the way the warmness of his body was enough to make you feel the most as peace you had ever been.

So lost in it, that you missed the way Hyunjin had snuck his phone out of his pocket and had texted Changbin, asking, if not begging, for him to stay out of their shared place for a couple more hours so he could be alone with you.

So lost in your feelings for him and how you did not want this moment to ever end, that you managed to miss the way he, too, wanted to stay with you like this for as long as he could.

tag list: @blaaiissee @hyuneytoast @staysuki @tardiscompanion @princehyun-jin @hyuka-luvbot @halesandy @nattisbored @qnjayn @hibuki-chan @purenjuniverse @seungly @suhnnyskiess @midsoulz @kwanisms @esme-ordaz @perriwiinkle @firnze @soobin-chois @moon-320 @multifandomizer @elviransworld @valewoos @ktttwwn @hazzaloveschopsuey @hannahdinse8 @youngestdelacour @zoe8stay @leechanniee @phenomenalgirl9 @aeminju @threevracha @euphroseia @laryisthinking @wolfietara @iam2out @kingggjaay @cosmic-railwayxo @straykidsficsrecsbaby @marsophilia @choibeomgogi @ddaengpotate @oceanyocean @rinsdesires @jhslmhbtsskz @lixlovesworld @keenlampponyclam @yerimselgi @mal-lunar-28 @littlestarhyun

VESPER PREVIEW.

Hyunjin x reader. (s,f)

Synopsis: You've been praying every night for someone like Hyunjin to come and when he finally did, you doubt that he would approve your job as a stripper.

Preview under the cut!

...

All of these eyes are on you.

You're supposed to be the one looking at them but it's the opposite, you feel like you are the painting and not the other way around.

Wish you could understand paintings, you wonder how these people who attended the art gallery get to talk about them like they're reviewing a book while here you are, trying not to be intimidated by all the stares you got from these people in a painting.

"Fascinating, isn't it?" A voice says.

You didn't know someone is standing next to you and looking at the same painting with you until you turn your head to the side.

"Oh, well, I'm just wondering why the little girl is giving me the side eyes," you playfully remarked.

He softly chuckles and lightly nods, "yeah, she's looking not happy."

One look is enough to know that he's tall and 60 percent of that height goes to his legs and the 10 percent is the dark long hair that curtained his small face. His eyes, nose, lips, and everything on his face complement each other

You have to actively tell your brain to stop staring at his beautiful face.

"I don't understand a thing about paintings," you mutter and everyone can probably see how out of place you are. You are here for something else not to look at these art pieces that you know you don't have the capability to comprehend it.

"You're lucky that I'm here then," he says with a nice smile.

You smile back but resist the urge to look at him, God knows that you'll not stop staring once you do. You keep looking straight ahead and endure the side eyes of the little girl in the painting instead.

"This is Las Meninas by Diago Velázquez," he introduces you even though there's already a card with a short introduction of the painting below it.

"It's a nice painting, right?" He asks with his body turned at you.

You nod even though you're not sure if it's 'artistically' nice based on your judgment as someone who doesn't know anything about art. But is it pleasing to the eyes? Yes.

"But what makes this painting so interesting is because it has a secret illusion," he says with a suppressed excitement in his voice.

You tip your head to the side, "really?"

"A lot is going on here but let's break it down," he then takes a step closer to your side to explain further about the painting.

"First, the little girl is giving you the side eye," he starts.

"Yes."

"Then these people must be her entourage," he says as his hand to point the part of the painting he's explaining to you.

"Someone is creeping in the back steps, there's the painter, and then..." he glances at you before continuing to speak.

It gets you intrigued that you turn to face him unintentionally, "what?"

"You see that mirror on the back wall?" He asks.

"That's a mirror?" You ask back since you didn't notice it before.

"Yes, and the reflection in the mirror is meant to be us."

"Us?" You sound like you heard that word for the first time in your life but liked it without knowing the meaning of it.

He nods and lines himself to stand right next to you then looks back at the painting.

"With all that considered, from where we're standing as the viewers, we're the ones being painted looking at the rest of the room."

He gently places his hand on your shoulder and turns your body slightly to the left to make you look at a certain part of the painting.

"The square shape coming off the side, that's the canvas, and that guy..." he pointed to the guy holding a brush in one hand and a pallet in the other, "he's painting us."

It's like someone flips the switch in your head and the light bulb finally lights up, everything makes sense to you now. It seems like he’s the one who's enjoying your moment of enlightenment the most.

"In the present time, we're getting used to this perspective because we have things like phones which make us understand this perspective of being behind or in front of a camera," he eloquently explains as if he memorized the textbook explanation of it.

"But he made this painting in 1656 and this perspective thing must be trippy for its time. That's what makes this painting so groundbreaking," he finished.

"Wow!" That's all you can mutter as you try to process all of these pieces of information in your head.

On the other hand, it's nice to hear an explanation from someone who knows what he's talking about and doing it so passionately. Not only that it's very informative, but also, low-key hot.

There's just something about a person who talks about something he truly passionate about.

"I am indeed lucky that you're here," you playfully remark with a low laugh.

You've been avoiding looking at him long enough that it feels impolite, slowly you turn your body to face him. You find him shyly smiling and brushing his hair to the back.

"Are you working here?"

He lifts his head but now it's his turn to avoid your eyes, "No, but I'm a painter."

"Oh, that explains!" You say.

When he finally meets your gaze, your heart skips a beat and you stop breathing for a second which is something that rarely happens to you when you've seen so many kinds of men when you're at work.

"If you don't mind me asking, why are you here if not for the paintings?" He asks.

A man with manner, that's a first. You confidently look at him as you speak, "my friend works here and I'm waiting for her so may as well look around..."

"Your friend is a curator?" He wildly guesses.

"No," you answer, "she's working at the front desk. You probably saw her when you came in."

"Ah..." he nods.

There's a silence going on for a moment and he brushes his hair to the back, looking like he hesitates to ask you something.

You decide to keep the conversation going, "are you coming alone?"

He sheepishly smiles, "no, I'm coming with a friend," he proceeds to point at a guy with bleached blond hair who's looking at a painting on another side of the gallery.

Somehow you feel good that he makes it clear that he comes with a friend or maybe it's your question that is pretty much the equivalent of asking if he's single or not.

Your phone vibrates inside your purse and you open it to check a new message from your friend, telling you that she's already waiting in the lobby.

"I'm sorry but my friend is already waiting," you say to him.

He looks at you, then at your phone, "can I have your number?"

You offer your phone instead to him, "why don't you put your number on mine?"

He takes it from you and types his numbers on it, then hits the call button so he can have your numbers on his phone as well.

He introduces himself as he hands your phone back to you, "I'm Hyunjin."

He offers his big hand with slender fingers with bracelets around on his dainty wrist for a handshake.

You shake his hand and introduce yourself back to him, his hand is cold but once you see his smile, you feel warm all over.

You're not sure if his personality will match his beautiful appearance because you can’t decide on it yet.

But is he pleasing to the eyes? The answer is a million times yes.

-

The full fic will be posted tomorrow!

What’s Left of Us [Hwang Hyunjin x Reader] Masterlist

genre: angst, romance, drama

taglist: @bubblelixie @fangirlnation @wednesdayswife @hyunskizz @im-nowhere-but-also-somewhere

taglist is open! send an ask to be added.

pairings: hyunjin x reader (main), brief bang chan x reader

The heart wants what the heart wants. Even if that something was as devastating as Hwang Hyunjin had proven himself to be, time and time again. 

Since childhood, you’d loved him as deeply as you possibly could - perhaps even deeper than you could ever truly fathom. At times, you were certain he loved you exactly the same, if not more. Everything with Hyunjin felt so intense, as though a fog had lifted whenever you were in his presence. 

You love him, deeper than you could ever truly fathom.

But, maybe, that’s just not enough.

part one: camellias and marigolds | wc: tbd | release date: coming soon

REFLECTION | Chapter 6 (Finale Pt.2)

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«He’s not broken and he doesn’t need saving!!!»

1x0=2 (Part 2 of Series Finale) 📜9.7k | Approx. 40-min read 🚨Refer to series masterlist for general themes & warnings of this story: Disturbing depictions — read at your own risk. May contain factual inaccuracies (it's fiction, just play along), implied domestic abuse (not depicted), discussions of past traumatic events: death, murder, cheating; hospital environment, themes of revenge, sex work: derogatory troilism (does not pertain to Hyunjin or mc), slight breeding kink, unprotected sex, cumplay, creampie. 💭Reblogs & comments are always appreciated and please keep in mind they are the ultimate motivation fuel. 🍮Like my content? Consider supporting my work with a pudding!

“Where are we going mom?”

“For a little trip,” the woman smiled through her tears and barely healing busted lip, “Auntie Aria is waiting for us.”

“Really? Can I play with Roxy in the garden?”

“Of course you can, baby! Come on, get up.”

It was the darkest hour of the night, and she hated disturbing her sons’s sleep, but enough was enough. This was her only chance. Her beloved husband wasn’t going to come home for breakfast, and this was the only time Lina was glad he fucked right off to his mistress. 

She was slowly getting ready for this day. It was a pair of pants at the bottom of a suitcase at first, which resided under her bed. Then a pair of underwear. A sweater. Her son’s plushie. Her lip in exchange for getting busted while sneaking into her husband’s office. It was okay, though, she had been through worse. It was necessary to find out the combination to the safe to steal as much cash as she could before leaving.

Right after she heard the front door close and the engine revving in the distance, she jumped from her bed to wake up her son. They quickly made it to the garage a pickup truck was still occupying, and she tucked her 8-year-old in the backseat. It was around 3 AM when she started the car to notice the vehicle was almost out of gas, which was not the case just yesterday.

“Fuck. Fuck!”

Breathe, she tried to calm herself down, We’re gonna stop somewhere for gas. Soon. Very soon. We’ll find a place.

It was past 3 AM and no one else was on the highway besides her. The darkness had never been this comforting, but the more she drove into the night, the more it was turning into a state of alarm for fear of getting stranded.

When she saw a pair of headlights ricocheting from her rearview mirror, Lina immediately pressed 2 on her speed dial.

“Aria, it’s me,” she kept uncontrollably panting like she was running for hours, “I’m– I’m not gonna make it.”

“What are you talking about?!”

“San’s dogs are after me. The fucker emptied the tank. No gas station anywhere,” she took a deep breath to suppress her sobs, “Hyunjin’s in the car. We’re like 3 miles into I-9 highway. Please come get him. Take the third exit.”

“Where exactly are you?!!”

“I’m begging you to come get him. They’re gonna kill me!”

“Li—!”

There was nothing else left to do besides embrace her fate when the engine started dying down. She would have liked it if she could at least properly say goodbye to her baby. She would have liked it if she had a little bit more courage and confidence to do this sooner. She would have liked it very much.

“Why are we stopping mommy? Are we there?”

“Baby, hide in that space under the seat, okay? Don’t make a sound,” she mischievously smiled as if they were about to play a prank, “Daddy’s friends and I are playing hide-and-seek. They shouldn’t find you, okay baby? Don’t come out no matter what.”

Lina’s sobs stopped and she held her head high as two men approached the car. Hyunjin heard the front door being opened from that tiny space he stuffed his tinier body in.

“Nice try,” a husky voice scoffed with contempt, “The boss says your life is worth exactly the 15 grand you stole and not a dime more.”

BANG!

“Shit! I told you to bring a suppressor!” another voice berated, “The cops are gonna be here any minute thanks to you. Move your ass!”

Hyunjin hid in that little space for as long as he could. His mother had told him not to come out no matter what. When it was time to do so, she would tell him.

She didn’t.

When the silence of the night was ripped apart with the sound of sirens, Hyunjin thought it was time to finally show himself.

“Mommy? Can I come out now? Did we win?”

He didn’t understand what he was looking at. His mother’s head was resting on the steering wheel and there were a lot of red blotches splashed everywhere. Her eyes were open and they were still wet.

“Mommy?”

“There’s a kid in the car!” a man clad in a police uniform yelled towards the ambulance behind him.

He didn’t know it back then, but that was the last word Hyunjin uttered for almost an entire year.

Hyunjin was a recluse artist that didn’t leave his home unless he absolutely had to. He wasn’t a grim guy constantly thinking about dark things; it was just a matter of being able to see beauty in everything. In ugliness. Even in death. Everybody would be able to tell pink flowers were pretty. Everybody could take one glance at an oceanscape and smile, but it took a true artist to express the unbearable pain of unrequited love with a grotesque portrayal of Judgment Day, and still be able to move people. By unsettling them. Shaking them to their core. Hyunjin would never say such things about himself; he was way too humble for that. It was the artist he was under the tutelage of that used this exact sentence to describe his work. His artmother, if you will.

His maternal aunt Aria — who was also his legal guardian after a not-so-bloody custody battle.

It started as a way of communication for him at first when he was very young. One day, he snuck into his aunt’s studio at home, grabbed two tubes of paint, and started playing with them. In the literal sense. He didn’t have a shape in mind. Just smearing heavy coats of jet black on top of a thin layer of cadmium red all over a piece of paper. The red was only visible when you held the paper under direct light. It wasn’t wine. It was darker than wine. Depending on how you looked at it, you could call it the burgundy of passion, or the maroon of dried blood.

Over time, his palette became richer with more shades of rust and anthracites and mold green and wilted magentas, but his essentials never changed. He never painted anything that evoked happiness in an average person. Ever. Not when he was an adolescent. Not when he was a teen. Not when he made the decision not to go to college. He had one mentor and she was the best one. End of story. 

Everything was pretty much uneventful. Thanks to Aria’s ginormous network in the art sphere and Hyunjin’s unparalleled vision, especially considering his age, it didn’t take very long for him to make a name for himself. He would paint. He would read. He would write. He would paint some more and go to sleep. He was happy with this quiet routine, but as time went by, Aria was getting restless that Hyunjin was alone.

That was the problem. Hyunjin wasn’t lonely. He was alone. Willingly so. But she failed to notice that.

Then one day, unbeknownst to herself, she uttered the one sentence she was going to regret probably for the rest of her life.

“Hyunjin, I want you to meet Bella.”

Little things matter much more than you think. They make all the difference in the world. Remove one letter from a word, and the meaning changes completely. Like how the only difference between Bella and Bela is the letter L.

The former means beautiful while the latter means destruction. 

Hyunjin knew that of course, but he was someone who always chose to see beauty in everything. In ugliness. Even in death.

There was nothing beautiful about walking in on her fucking someone else in his studio at the gallery.

As soon as the door opened, the man just got dressed at lightspeed and bolted. Meanwhile, Bella nonchalantly put her underwear back on as if Hyunjin just caught her making dinner.

“I didn’t know you would be here today.”

“Oh, sorry, did I interrupt?” Hyunjin spoke with a dangerous calmness, “I’ll go call him back. Finish please.”

“Chill, will you? It was just a heat of the moment thing,” she brazenly defended herself and continued with a smaller voice, “Not that you’d know what it means.”

Hyunjin was a composed man, but that didn’t mean he didn’t get angry. He just never showed it. He was scared to let the beast inside run loose because he didn’t know what it was capable of doing himself.

“Just… What could possibly be the reason f—?”

“God, your neediness pisses me the fuck off, Hyunjin!” her yelling echoed in the mostly empty space, “The delicate artist thing was cute at first, but you’re… you’re boring. You’re just too much!”

He was barely holding it together, and it was one of those moments where he wanted to just– to just—

“Am I boring or too much? Pick one!”

“Whatever.”

Hyunjin had to make do with clenching his jaw and fists, and without saying anything, he marched into his aunt’s office.

“Do whatever you want with the space. I’m never coming back here again,” he was heavily breathing through his nose, “But maybe install a lock to the door first.”

After the third time his phone rang all the way through, Hyunjin finally opened his eyes and decided to pick up the phone.

“Hello?”

“WHEN I CALL YOU, YOU PICK UP, KID—I’M NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LENGTHS I’LL GO TO IF YOU DON’T!” his aunt screamed into the receiver, but then immediately calmed down, “How are you holding up, my prince?”

“I’m okay,” Hyunjin rolled in his bed, “I’m just… I’m so tired.”

“Not getting enough sleep?”

“The usual. Doesn’t matter how much I sleep, but it’s like– like it got worse.”

Aria knew a thing or two about sleepless nights, and it was killing her that she wasn’t able to do anything for her baby. He might have been a grown-ass man in the eyes of the law, but in her eyes, Hyunjin was always going to be the little baby boy who clung to her for dear life on that night at the highway. Her little sister’s only legacy.

The same conversation every day. How are you? I’m tired. Take a warm shower. I did. Can I come over? Please don’t. Call me the second you need anything. I will. I love you. Me too.

Then one night he didn’t pick up the phone. Aria did warn him she wouldn’t be responsible for the lengths she would go to, immediately giving her an excuse to make her way to his apartment. As she was walking towards the front gate with quick steps, she witnessed something that bewildered her out of her mind.

Hyunjin walked out of the building with bubblegum pink hair, which was so unlike him, and hopped into a car that was waiting with blinkers on.

What the absolute hell was going on?

She knew it was wrong, but this was no time to practice respect for privacy. She dashed back to her car and followed him to a destination, which ended up being some club on the strip. 

Hyunjin hated crowded spaces.

He didn’t even enter through the main entrance but opened a door located in the alley instead.

Something was way off.

“Feeling better, my boy?” Aria chirped on the phone the next day.

“The usual,” he sleepily answered again to his aunt’s surprise. How the heck was dressing up that flashy and diving headfirst into a sea of sweaty bodies usual for a recluse?

“Nothing fun last night?”

“I mean I did finish my latest piece around midnight. Then I went to sleep.”

Time to pop the million-dollar question: Was Hyunjin lying to her for the first time in his life, or—?

Aria changed her calling routine to daytime so that Hyunjin wouldn’t grow suspicious of her, and started observing from him afar. Night after night. Always at the same hour. Club attire, a different hair color, getting into a car at 11:45 PM sharp, heading to that club, and not a word about it the next day. He was either hiding this double life thing from her at all costs, or– or he—

He genuinely had no recollection of it.

“Aria! To what do I owe the pleasure?”

She thought she would never have to meet with her friend Carl in a professional setting again, but there she was at his office after all those years. Hoping she was just overreacting, she sat down to consult his professional opinion about the recent changes in her nephew’s behavior.

“He gets up in the middle of the night, does things, and doesn’t remember them,” Aria gulped a huge sip of water, “I’m worried he’s going to get himself in trouble, Carl. It looks like he barely gets sleep.”

“Have you considered the possibility that he is just hiding something from you?”

“Of course I have! But he never once kept things from me. I don’t know why he suddenly would feel the need,” she drooped her shoulders in defeat, “I– I want him to start seeing you again, but I don’t want to scare him.”

Dr. Carl Lewis was very familiar with Hyunjin as he sort of befriended him right after moving in with his aunt. He wouldn’t talk at all at first. They would just play together along with the nice ladies in the room, build blocks together, do coloring together, and boy did they color a lot. He knew Hyunjin was able to process everything around him; he just didn’t reciprocate in an audible manner. They spent a very long time together, but the more ‘functional’ Hyunjin turned into, the scarcer their meetings became.

“Just tell him I missed him and I want to see him,” the brunette man smiled to his friend reassuringly, “I’ll take it from there.”

How long had it been? Ten years? Fifteen?

The office had seen some serious redecoration since the last time he was here, but Hyunjin couldn’t help feeling like the very first time he stepped foot in there. Uneasy for some reason. Like he was about to get interrogated for a crime he didn’t commit, but he sucked at keeping his usual poise in situations like this. The kind of situations he felt threatened to the bone like something was going to be taken away from him. He was just here to see an old acquaintance, but still, he was shaking his legs nervously on that couch, chewing on his lips waiting for Dr. Lewis.

“Do I have to be here for this?” Hyunjae loudly barged in before the doctor arrived and plopped on the couch next to him, “You’re the one crying about that bitch, but my ass gets dragged here for a PTA meeting.”

“Just sit the fuck down, Jae.”

“Hello, Hyunjin!”

Right as he was finishing that sentence, Carl cheerily walked in with a big smile but without his white coat. He was still as warm as Hyunjin remembered him, but with more wrinkles adorning his face.

“Sure. Hello, Hyunjin,” Hyunjae scoffed and waved his hand, “The headliner is right here, hello?”

“You still remember our playdates, I hope?” he firmly shook Hyunjin’s hand, “I didn’t know we had company today. Can you introduce me to Jae, too?”

“Do I have to?” Hyunjin groaned with an exasperated sigh and looked to his left.

“Niceties need to be observed, no? We’re civilized people,” Carl darted his eyes at the exact space Hyunjin was looking at.

“Fine,” Hyunjin rolled his eyes and deadpanned, “Dr. Lewis this is my twin brother Hyunjae.”

“Pleasure,” the kind man nodded and sat on the armchair across him, “How’s life nowadays, Hyunjin?”

“Monotone,” he shrugged with blank eyes, “Well, except for the fact that I caught my ex cheating on me.”

“Tell him the real reason,” Hyunjae interjected, “Tell him it’s because you didn’t know how to fuck her right. Jesus, I should just hook you up with some of my girls.”

“That must have come as quite a shock,” Carl nodded, “Would you like to talk about it?”

“Good god, what is there to talk about?!” Hyunjae loudly complained and sat up in frustration, “We know the reason, doc! He’s a nobody.”

“Will you just shut the fuck up?!”

Silence. Whenever they were alone, Hyunjae never shut the fuck up when told so. A sinister smile grew wider on his face, very much content that Hyunjin fell for the trap he sneakily set up, and softly uttered.

“He can’t see me, dumbass.”

Hyunjin slowly met the doctor’s gaze to look for a sign of confusion on his face. He seemed normal; didn’t even flinch upon the sudden raise of his voice. The only perplexed person in the room was Hyunjin, and the feeling was slowly turning into dread.

“Is– is it true?”

“What is, Hyunjin?”

“Can you really not see him?”

“Why don’t we rewind a little?” Carl comfortably leaned back on the armchair, “What is your best childhood memory with Hyunjae?”

“It’s– It’s when we uh—”

Hyunjin was racking his brain really hard, but he wasn’t able to recall one single memory for the life of him. He remembered moving in with his aunt. He remembered going to the park. He remembered the tutors at home, but Hyunjae was nowhere to be found in any of these frames. The first clear memory he had of him was right after he got his high school diploma. Hyunjin told his aunt he didn’t want to go to college, and got his own apartment. 

And all of a sudden they started living together. Hyunjae even gave him a really hard time at first for being homeschooled. Did he say he came from overseas? He couldn’t even remember the first time they saw each other.

Oh, god.

“You…” Hyunjin gulped thickly, “You really can’t see him, can you?”

“Right now, I can’t, but I have reason to believe I’d be able to when you’re at your most vulnerable,” Carl put his index finger on his temple, “Do you have trouble sleeping at all?”

“I can fall asleep but uh… I– I always wake up tired.”

“Do you remember your dreams?”

“Some of them.”

“What kind of dreams do you see?”

“I mean… Nothing too extraordinary.”

“Do you have nightmares at all? Or experience night terrors?”

“Not really.”

“I think you do,” he faintly smiled, “And I think whenever that happens, Hyunjae is there for you.”

“It doesn’t seem likely,” Hyunjin reciprocated the smile with a gutwrenchingly broken one, “He’s– he’s not very nice to me.”

“He’s probably not nice to anyone, but there’s a reason you don’t remember the unpleasant things in your subconscious,” he tapped on his own forehead, “Which is possibly why you’re not getting enough REM sleep because he keeps interrupting it.”

“But why?”

Carl flashed one of his comforting smiles to Hyunjin again. Even years later, it still felt like a warm hug.

“You might find it hard to believe, but to protect you.”

His archnemesis. His worst enemy. Was trying to… protect him?

“I can’t live like this,” Hyunjin held his head between his hands, “I– I can’t control when he appears. It’s not like– It’s not like I feel it coming on.”

“I might have an idea,” Carl sat up straight, “Would you say your recent experience with your ex brought back feelings of heavy distress and shock?”

When Hyunjin closed his eyes and replayed that moment in his head, he felt… a punch. Not the burning kind, the you-think-it’s-hot-but-it’s-actually-freezing-cold kind. A frostbite. Starting at a point right under his chest and circulating everywhere all the way to the far end of his capillaries. It felt like he hit pause on the clock. It didn’t feel like this was his own life, but more like he was looking into someone else’s window. It was a familiar feeling, but he didn’t exactly know where he felt it before.

“Not exactly, but… yeah, kind of.”

“Did you feel unsafe at all? Either physically or emotionally.”

“Y-yes.”

“Did you wish you were stronger to deal with the situation?”

Hyunjin always wished he was a stronger person, both physically and emotionally. He wished he didn’t choke when someone was excessively mean to him. He wished he had snark always ready to go in his arsenal. He wished he could just land a punch on someone’s face sometimes, but… but it was okay because he could take it. It was okay even if it was at his own expense, but he couldn’t take the guilt of willingly vomiting caustic filth just to harm a person.

“I just felt… angry. Really angry. I was– I was hurt and… and I wanted to hurt the person back. Just… I was heartbroken and I wanted… I wanted…”

“To get even?”

He couldn’t say it out loud because he was ashamed of it. He darted his eyes to the floor and and slowly nodded instead.

“Feeling wronged and wanting justice for it is a very natural thing. There is no shame in that,” Carl spoke calmly, “Do you have any people you’re close to, Hyunjin?”

“I don’t have anyone else besides my aunt,” he replied, eyes intently examining the patterns on the carpet, “But I’m not sure I want to tell her about this.” 

“You work alone, correct?”

“Yes.”

“Then you don’t necessarily have to, but it’s important we see each other more often from now on,” Carl got up to check his schedule, “If it’s okay with you, we’ll just let her know you’re experiencing acute post-traumatic stress. Just so that she’s informed.”

Hyunjin nodded again and a faint smile appeared on his lips when Carl handed him a small bowl filled with his favorite fruit jellies.

Carl Lewis might have been Aria Specter’s friend, but he was a doctor first. Ergo, no matter how much she badgered him, he wasn’t going to tell her a thing about what Hyunjin was going through, or why they suddenly started booking frequent appointments. Much like most mothers, being kept in the dark was driving her crazy.

“Well, I did tell you I wasn’t going to be responsible, my boy. I’m sorry,” she talked to herself in her car. She was fully aware camping outside his apartment like that made her look like a full-on stalker, but if nobody was willing to tell her anything, she had to pour cold water all over her burning worries herself.

Aria had started to observe a pattern. A couple of weeks ago, Hyunjin was going out every night, but some weeks later, his frequency declined. He was now going out every other day or so. She wondered if this had anything to do with his visits to Carl’s office at all.

That night, he left again at his usual hour. Contrary to her routine, she decided to take a field trip this time around and actually walked into the club. 

This was the sleaziest scene she had ever subjected her eyes to.

“Just what the hell are you doing here, my boy?” she mumbled to herself.

Looking very out of place with her suit, Aria hid in the corner of the bar and started scanning the place with her eyes to find Hyunjin. It wasn’t that hard to spot him since all eyes were following him like a spotlight, but he looked like such a different person. He acted like a different person. His posture was relaxed but upright at the same time, fully aware that people were talking about him, and he was very obviously loving the attention. Aria briefly panicked when she realized he was walking towards the bar and immediately squeezed herself into that dark corner, careful to be still within earshot of him.

To her absolute surprise, another familiar face was also there that night.

“Hyunjin?”

Hyunjin turned to the source of the voice while biting on the staw of his Caipirinha with gargantuan confidence like he knew he was the shit.

“Do I look like a sorry little kitten to you? It’s Hyunjae,” he rested his elbow on the bar, “What’s your name, sweet tits?”

“Bella,” the girl uttered with a dumbfounded look on her face, “Damn, he never told me he had a hot twin like you.”

She was quite obviously salivating over this ridiculously sexy man in front of her. ‘Hot twin’? By definition, an identical twin meant ‘physically the same’. Photocopied genes. Hyunjae just smirked at her and took a hit from the joint in her hand.

“And he never told me how he managed to land a smoking hot babe like you in the first place,” he puffed out the smoke in her face, “You’re the one that dumped him because he’s ‘too much’.”

“You can’t blame a girl for knowing what she wants,” her posture tensed.

“Preach. I keep telling him the same thing. Maybe it finally knocked some sense into him.”

Bella immediately relaxed at these words. She seemed relieved. Hyunjae checked her out from head to toe without even trying to be subtle about it.

“Nice ass,” he licked his lips, “We can have some fun if you like.”

Bella’s newfound relief evaporated in an instant at this unfamiliar forwardness. She didn’t know what to say for a second.

“We look exactly alike, don’t we? You can consider me the upgraded version of him,” Hyunjae brushed her hair with his fingers, “I’ve been told the way I fuck is life-changing.”

He grabbed her face and started talking directly against her lips.

“You don’t seem like the type that has conscience problems. I can treat you like the dirty little slut you are and give it to you good. Would you like that?

It was a disappointment for Hyunjae that she caved that easily, honestly. Bella bit her lips and agreed. After checking the time, Hyunjae chugged his drink, grabbed her hand, and took her to one of the private rooms. As soon as they walked in, he brought out a piece of document.

“Sign it.”

“What is this?”

“Consent form,” Hyunjae nonchalantly replied, “I can’t have you press charges when you pass out from cumming six times in a row.”

He never watched someone sign a document that fast before.

Rookie mistake.

“Sit,” he gestured to a chair and brought out a bunch of ropes from a drawer along with a bunch of aids. Bella’s excitement was so palpable that any other person would feel bad about what was about to happen.

He slowly discarded each and every piece of clothing on her. One by one. Like they had all the time in the world to kill. Unrushed. Lazy even. All the while, Hyunjae kept on relentlessly teasing her, ghosting his lips and hands on every inch of her skin, but never once making contact. This buildup was everything—the more she was anticipating, the harder she was going to hit the ground.

Right at that moment, the door opened, and a beautiful woman walked inside. She looked a couple of years older than Bella. Hyunjae reached out to kiss the newcomer’s hand and watched her walk to the bed.

“A threesome?” Bella asked, slightly surprised.

“No, she’s my partner for the night. And she has very specific requests, you see.”

“I don’t get it.”

“I only fuck good girls. Bad girls only get to watch. It’s in the document you signed,” Hyunjae disapprovingly tsked and flashed an innocent smile bordering on maniacal, “And so is this.”  

He grabbed the gag resting on her lap and covered her mouth with it.

“Now you’ll shut the fuck up and just sit there,” he kissed the tip of her nose and went back to bed.

Bella couldn’t do anything besides watching this pair in front of her going to town on each other under dim lights. It was actually quite pleasurable to watch until Hyunjae started…

…talking.

“Just look at her sitting there like a sorry excuse. Then look at you. You’re the sexiest fucking thing,” he kept pounding into the woman on fours, placing kisses all over her back, “She’s got nothing on you.” 

With one swift movement, he turned the woman around and kissed her face off, immediately sliding back into her with no time to waste.

“She wants to be you, but she can’t. Not even in her wildest dreams. Fuck, you turn me on so bad!” he kept panting over her body, “She’s just an unworthy slut who would spread her legs for anyone.”

When the woman’s moans became louder, Hyunjae went full berserk and started drilling her into the mattress.

“Gonna cum, princess?” he squeezed her outer thighs, “That’s it, cream me.”

With the finishing blow of his fervent rubs of her clit, he made her cum violently and waited a while for her to come down.

“Feeling good?”

She nodded. Hyunjae discarded the condom and walked towards Bella to untie the gag harshly.

“What the hell was that?!” she yelled a little too loudly.

“Payback,” Hyunjae leisurely responded, “You’re lucky I didn’t murder someone and make you watch that.”

“You’re a fucking psychopath.”

He immediately opened a nearby drawer, took out a switchblade, and stood millimeters away from her face.

“And you’re a selfish fucking cunt. You wanted confidence from him, now you’re bitching it’s too much?”

Bella flinched hard when the blade opened as she thought he was going to use it on her skin, but all Hyunjae did was cut her ropes in four swift movements. 

“If I so much as see you breathe the same air as him, I won’t be responsible for where this knife ends up,” he swiveled the document again and locked it inside a nightstand, “Try and press charges. I fucking dare you.”

Bella briefly considered just running out of there naked because it would be less humiliating than what she just experienced.

At the end of his shift, Hyunjae emerged from the private area and started walking towards the exit. Finally catching a glimpse of him again, Aria followed suit after him. She watched him inhale the cold air outside and light up a cigarette.

Hyunjin did not smoke.

She approached him with somehow hesitant steps, with a billion different questions in her mind. Of course his well-being came first, and she should have given him his space maybe, but when you watched the closest thing you had to a son destroy himself like that, it was plain impossible to sit still.

“Hyunjae!”

He turned to his left and squinted his eyes while puffing out the smoke.

“Do I know you?”

“Please leave Hyunjin alone,” Aria’s voice cracked, “You’re– you’re hurting him.”

Hyunjae took a long drag from his cigarette and examined her face for some time.

“Then tell him to fucking stop needing me, lady,” he chucked the butt of the cigarette with his thumb, “Unfortunately for you, I think I’m here to stay this time. You’re gonna be seeing a lot more of me.”

“...And he basically cut contact with the entire world and almost drowned in his pain. He barely even saw me,” Aria punctuated her story, “So if you ever witnessed him talking to himself…”

“...he was actually— talking to Hyunjae,” you completed her sentence.

“Now you know why he doesn’t go out.”

You did see him talking to himself a couple of times but never in a million years would you be able to deduce this reason. You just thought… He was muttering stuff. Everybody did that every once in a while, no? Even you.

“So he– he hallucinates him?”

“Imagine living with the corporeal form of the voices in your head constantly gaslighting you,” she momentarily smiled with five different shades of sorrow, and then her expression changed, “Have you met the twin at all?”

You flinched. You had completely forgotten about that. Of course Hyunjin didn’t solely hallucinate him. Every once in a while he became him. You had never heard from Hyunjae ever since you and Hyunjin became… well, a thing. You hadn’t once asked about his ‘brother’, nor had you gone looking for him again. You figured if there was something to talk about, he would.

But then… Then why didn’t he? What was he going to do with those spray cans anyway? Was he going to go to the club? But they were in a trash bag, so—

“Well?”

“I uh– Yeah.”

Aria opened her drawer and lit up a cigarette right in her office. She didn’t even ask you if you would be uncomfortable, not that you would. From the way she was holding it, it looked like she picked up this habit pretty recently.

“Then you know,” she puffed out the smoke, “that Hyunjae is everything Hyunjin ever wished to be.”

“That’s fucking ridiculous!” you immediately protested not even minding to watch your language, “Who the hell would want to be a self-centered narcissist?”

“Well, some people prefer the self-centered narcissist. Didn’t you at some point?”

You didn’t know how she knew about that, but you had never been more ashamed in your entire life. And that was saying something because your shame gland had been out of order for the longest time.

“That was— way before I got to know Hyunjin,” you shook your head and scooted closer to her desk, “Look, you have to believe me. He means a lot to me. I need to find him!”

“I’m afraid he’s broken beyond saving, child.”

“He’s not broken and he doesn’t need saving!!!” you raised your voice involuntarily, “It’s not like he is terminally sick. We can manage this.”

“We?” Aria scornfully laughed, “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” 

“How would you even know I can’t keep it?!”

“You’re basically declaring you’re willing to spend the rest of your life with him in sickness and in health, but mostly in sickness,” she put out the cigarette in a water-filled paper cup, “Is this what you want? A condemned marriage?”

It immediately gave you an itch.

You had never warmed up to the idea of getting married. That was partially why you were leading your life the way you did. Carefree. Having fun. In pursuit of pleasure. It never harmed anybody so far, and you were content with it. 

But if you ever did one day, it would be with Hyunjin. With everything that he was. By your standards, you were the one broken, corrupted, and beyond saveable. You were the one who thought you weren’t good enough for him, never the other way around. If he was willing to have you, what more could you ask for to be happy? You could be happy. You could make him happy.

“The only kind of marriage I would ever want is the one with him, and it’s not fucking condemned,” you spoke through your teeth and got up to your feet, “If you’re not going to help me, fine. I’ll go find him myself.”

You almost let yourself out the door when Aria called out to you from her chair.

“You can’t,” there was a weird, knowing smile on her face, “but if you really meant what you just said, meet me here on the 31st. 9 AM sharp.”

It was a momentary lapse of sanity. 

When Hyunjin dashed out of his apartment that day in broad daylight, he didn’t know where to go. He felt so overwhelmed that the only thing he knew was he needed to get out of there. He would rather die than watch you leave.

Once he was out, however, he was reminded of the fact that he didn’t know many places.

His running slowed down to a quick walk after some time. Then it deflated into a leisurely stroll. All the while, he thought about the reasons why he had to still share a soul with Hyunjae. After he started getting closer to you, things were never better. He never felt the need to visit once. He actually thought maybe his other half decided to leave him be for good. It was hard trying to live for two. It always had been.

Then why did he decide to appear that very day?

She didn’t even spare an ‘I love you’ to you after all this time, did she?

Maybe. But why would that automatically mean you didn’t love him? What if it was the other way around? What if you kept telling him you loved him, but he didn’t feel that one bit? So what if you hadn’t said it yet? So what if you were never going to say it? As long as he felt your warmth in his chest, wouldn’t that trump everything else?

Unbeknownst to himself, Hyunjin found himself in the courtyard of a very familiar place. He was briefly torn about what to do. Behind door number one, there was an empty apartment with all your stuff gone and Hyunjae as a permanent roommate. The same vicious cycle. Until when? Until someone dragged him from the pit he was rotting in again? Hyunjin didn’t want anyone else. He wanted you.

And that wasn’t going to happen without a serious attempt.

He picked door number two and walked inside the building with determined steps.

“Hello. Is Dr. Lewis in today?”

“Did you have an appointment with him?”

“No. I’m here to check myself in.”

It was pretty quick. Just like he remembered. He handed in his phone, changed into a set of pajamas given to him, and took a long nap until it was time to see his old friend again. Dr. Lewis immediately called Aria as soon as he got the news since she was Hyunjin’s only emergency contact person.

And well, he also knew very well that she would otherwise start a countrywide search and rescue operation to find her nephew.

“Looking better than last time, my prince,” she hugged him tightly during another visitation day, “How are you feeling?”

“Still tired,” Hyunjin sat up in his bed, yet he was smiling that day, “But I think there’s progress.”

“Are you finally gonna tell me what happened with your lady?”

Hyunjin averted his eyes and played with his fingers on his lap, trying to find the right words.

“I was going to talk to her and tell her about… all this, but– but she found out before I could.”

Aria squeezed his hands and brushed his hair. She wanted him to keep talking, of course, but even after some time passed, the wound still seemed pretty fresh. There was something different this time around, though. Instead of imprisoning himself in his apartment, he chose to come here. Maybe the leather jacket girl was something after all.

“I don’t want her to see me like this again,” Hyunjin resolutely uttered, “I haven’t given up yet. Once I’m better, I’ll go talk to her.”

“Talk to her? Why?”

“Because she’s the one,” he looked up to face her, “I’ve never felt this way about someone before. I’ll beg her if that’s what it takes.”

“If she’s the one, you don’t have to beg for anything, you know that right?” 

“I know, but everybody leaves, Aunt Aria. I thought– I thought she was going to leave, too,” he heaved a deep sigh, “I guess I didn’t handle it very well.”

“Where the fuck did that come from, pretty?” 

Upon the voice echoing in the room, both Aria and Hyunjin turned towards the door. You were listening in on their conversation for some time, leaning on the doorframe with your arms crossed over your chest.

“If my memory serves me right, you were the one that stormed out without giving me a chance to talk, no?”

You walked towards Hyunjin with slow steps and sat on his bed. 

“Hi.”

Hyunjin kept looking at his aunt to confirm she was seeing you, too. His momentary elation immediately collapsed as he was absolutely mortified that you saw him like this. When he tried to cover himself under his sheets, you stopped him.

“Look at me.”

He was looking at you with gigantic eyes. Your anger was long gone, but even if you were mad, you wouldn’t be able to find it in you to stay mad at him. Hyunjin never looked this defenseless, and you were filled with this urge to hold him in your arms and protect him from everything forever. Even yourself, if it ever came to that.

“You got me worried sick. Don’t ever do that again, okay?” you kissed his hands, “I don’t care what you think. What I want is you.”

Hyunjin was on the brink of crying, but you didn’t give him the chance. You just laid in the bed right next to him and hugged him like you were back home in your own bed. Seeing how happy Hyunjin was, Aria couldn’t help the tiny knot in her throat either, but she would rather jump into an ice lake than let people see her get teary-eyed.

“I feel so safe with you, pretty,” you spoke into Hyunjin’s chest and looked up at him, “Please let me be your safe haven, too.”

“Aunt Aria, can you look away for a second?”

“Ugh, fine. I’ll go get some coffee,” she faked nausea and let herself out. You and Hyunjin melted into each other’s lips for a while like you were back home in his own bed. You’d missed him. God, you’d missed him with every single fiber of your being.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

And you fucking meant it.

As soon as you left the hospital that day, you took out your phone and dialed the number of his excellency.

“Emergency meeting, stat. Meet me at the company.”

The only time you had called an emergency meeting before was when Chris got evicted from Four Seasons for trashing the fucking place at a private party, and you had to come up with a strategy to clean up his mess. Considering how everybody had learned to misbehave at the right locations at the right dosages, they were all concerned by the sudden request.

“Gentlemen,” you barged into the studio, “I’m here to warn you to watch out for flying pigs and the possibility of hell freezing over.”

“Why? You’re quitting masturbating?” Changbin deadpanned.

“I’m in love, headass.”

You wished you had a camera to capture that moment because the collective shock of the trio was fucking priceless.

“All… the details… right fucking now!!!” Jisung tackled you.

You told them the major headlines of everything that happened since that very first night at the club. The more they listened, the more their jaws moved closer to the floor. You? Actually fell for someone? How the fuck wasn’t this on Netflix? Or was it, and you were just messing with them?

After the fifth time you swore on their platinum plaque, they were convinced of your honesty, and Chris thought this was a very apt occasion to pop a bottle of champagne.

“In conclusion, not only is our free use deal permanently off the table, but I’m gonna be off the grid indefinitely.”

“No, you’re not,” Changbin drank straight from the bottle.

“Bin, I’m serious. This thing with Hyunjin is real and I wanna see it through, and not only on good days,” you put your glass down for a refill, “He needs me.”

“I know. That’s why you’re on paid leave indefinitely.”

Changbin wished he had a camera to capture that moment because he had never seen your lips part out of genuine surprise before.

“You’re shitting me.”

“Bitch, you think that’s what ride or die means? That we just wanted to fuck you or else we would pass away?” he refreshed your drink, “There’s something else that trumps how hard I cum.”

“Which would be?”

“Your happiness, boss lady,” he faintly smiled, “It’s like witnessing a real-life pterodactyl.”

You slapped him on the shoulder to stop the corniness. Once the chuckle fest died down, you continued.

“While I appreciate the gesture, I won’t be out partying with you guys anymore. I meant what I said.”

“So what? Just train someone else to do the dirty work and still count the cash you’re making in an office,” Chris countered, “Like actual boss ladies do, you know?”

You scanned all of their faces for a second, and spoke directly to Changbin.

“And I still get to wear Prada?”

“Yes.”

“Can I have an expense account?”

“Yes.”

“Will you give me your Corvette?”

“Don’t push it.”

“Worth a shot,” your smile grew wider, “I’ll arrange replacements for you.”

“That’s my girl.”

You all huddled into a group hug, and that was probably the only time it wasn’t followed by someone getting uncontrollably horny. End of an era, indeed.

“Now there’s one last thing I need,” you grabbed your bag to leave, “A bribe fund.”

“For what?”

“Redecoration,” you winked, “I’ll give you the details tomorrow.”

The purpose of this fund was to scatter around to shut people up because there was no way you wouldn’t secure Hyunjin’s safety and comfort at all costs. You converted his private room into the coziest corner of the hospital. You painted the walls together. You brought in beanbags and art supplies. You changed his sheets to the exact same ones you had back home. He taught you to sketch after his therapy sessions. You were basically living there with him throughout his treatment. He beamed every time you walked through that door, and Friday breakfasts with Aria joining you had become a routine already.

Hyunjin didn’t have an episode once during your time together. You spent weeks there for medical purposes, but he felt like he was on vacation. It would be a lie if he said things were easy, but it was definitely a lot more bearable with you. 

“So?” you asked him when you finally walked out of the hospital hand in hand, “Do you wanna go somewhere?”

You were almost sure he was going to say he’d like to go home, but his actual answer bamboozled the fuck out of you.

“Can we go to the amusement park again, please?”

Everything wasn’t going to magically disappear at once, of course. You could still feel Hyunjin’s reserved attitude in crowds, but it was fine. And it was going to get better. You were always going to be there holding his hand even when he didn’t need it. You spent the sunny day mostly away from the rides, just walking around the park, watching people, going into the arcade, and finalized your trip at the Ferris wheel. As you were munching on the last bites of an ice cream cone, Hyunjin spoke with a timid voice.

“Thank you.”

“For what, baby?” you looked at him.

He got flustered. No matter how often you called him that, it still hit him like the first time. He just couldn’t get used to it. If he got used to it and it wasn’t real, the pain would be too much to endure.

“For– for not leaving.”

“You shouldn’t thank people for what they willingly do, pretty.” 

You held his hands and kissed them. You gazed upon the sun almost setting in the distance.

“Life is much like this Ferris wheel, don’t you think? It has ups and downs,” you spoke and turned to face him again, “And I’d like to experience all of those with you.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.” 

You couldn’t help the intense urge to kiss him any longer and held Hyunjin in your arms. It wasn’t like the ones you stole from him back in the hospital. Feeling how full his lips were to your heart’s content, feeling his hands running in your hair, his breathing escalating. The slower, the better. You fell in love with him a little more with every kiss he sealed on your lips. 

And after all this time, the words finally made it out of you.

“I love you, pretty.”

The shock on Hyunjin’s face was akin to you telling him the world was going to end that day. He was so busy convincing himself that it was okay if you never ever said it that he couldn’t calculate what would happen if you said it that soon.

“I uh– I–”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to say it back until you’re sure,” you smiled and squeezed his hands, “I hope it doesn’t make you uncomfortable that I say it, though.”

“It doesn’t!”

“You’re my first love, Hyunjin,” you brushed his cheek with the back of your hand, “You will always be my first love.”

He wanted to say it. He really wanted to say it back for once instead of trying to muster his entire life’s courage to be the one to utter the l-word first. He always went too big. It always ended up in a disaster. He was so fucking tired of moving from life to life after surviving the debris of his heartbreaks by a narrow margin from death. Each one worse than the last. 

“Can I– Can I be your last, too?” 

“Of course, you can,” you giggled.

You didn’t make much of it. It was Hyunjin, after all. He said endearing stuff like this all the time. 

Little did you know how much meaning he squeezed behind that simple question.

“You don’t– you don’t have to agree. I’m fine with the way things are,” he looked at his feet, “But you said until you’re sure. I’m sure of what I’m feeling for you.”

He put his hands in his pockets like he did every time he was feeling somewhat tense as if he had power plugs in there.

“I just know I don’t want to spend one day apart. It’s stupid to be willingly away from you,” he finally looked up at you, “I love you, too.”

When he took his hands out, you didn’t expect to see that black velvet box in his hand.

“Will you—?”

“Yes!”

Hyunjin wasn’t sure if you actually understood what he was asking of you.

“Can I just—?”

“Yes. The answer is yes!”

“You– You’ll really–?”

“Yes, I will,” you took one look at the ring and one at his face, “I’ll take your last name. I’ll co-sign your lease. I’ll make you happy. I’ll make you cum. I’ll kiss you to sleep. For the rest of my life. Just… Yes!!!”

You were so deliriously happy that you threw yourself at his lips, and it escalated so fast that you almost fucked each other right there.

Interesting, isn’t it? When somebody asks you to be their partner, no one makes a big deal out of it. When someone asks you to move in with them, they’re just happy for you. But when someone asks you to share your life with them on paper, something that you’re already doing in the same house for that matter, all of a sudden it’s ‘Whoa, too early.’

What does it take to really get to know someone, to be sure that you want to be their partner in crime? Living with them? Taking a vacation with them? Seeing them at their literal worst? How soon is ‘now’? What defines ‘too early’? Who the fuck can decide that but you?

The distance between the amusement park and Hyunjin’s place was twelve minutes by car, but by fucking god it was the longest ride you both had ever been on.

“I’m not letting you sleep tonight,” you immediately started stripping him the second you crossed the threshold of his door, “We’re fucking until the morning.”

You hadn’t even realized how long it had been since you felt each other skin against skin. You could feel how much you missed this in every single one of your cells, and all you could think about was whether it was possible for a woman to experience premature ejaculation at all. Once you were completely naked in front of each other, you attempted to remove your accessories, too, but Hyunjin stopped you.

“Keep your ring on. Please.”

Please? Oh, please.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” you grabbed his face, “Everything about you is just so beautiful.”

“Not– not everyt–”

“Everything,” you shushed him, “I love everything you are with everything I have.”

Hwang Hyunjin. The yang to your yin. The blue to your orange. A passionate ocean to drown in. A breath of fresh air. An aphrodisiac in human form. The love of your life that you found when you weren’t even looking.

“Just like that. Suck me hard.”

You missed this. You missed pleasuring him. You missed loving him with no restraints. You missed the way he absolutely lost himself in you. 

No one, no one had ever entrusted themselves with you like this before.

“Can I– Can I please–?”

“No cans baby, just tell me what you want,” you spoke against his skin.

A part of him wanted you to continue. A part of him wanted to watch you. A part of him wanted you to keep his gaze with your mouth full of him as he disappeared inside your warmth, but another, much louder part of him wanted to fuck a few loads into you until he made sure he bred you.

“I wanna finish inside.”

You missed this. You missed the sharp hissing sounds he made every time you sat on him. You missed how his moans got louder every time you let him sink into you. But it had been way too long, so Hyunjin just pinned you in your place from your waist and started fucking you instead, tugging at your hair consumed by acute pleasure. He loved this. He loved making you feel good. He loved you.

“Baby.”

That was the tiniest nudge he needed to sink his fingertips into your skin and fuck you hard until he spurted thick strings inside you with violent convulsions. Hyunjin was beautiful. He was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen, but he was simply fucking ethereal every time he came. 

He didn’t even wait to come down before laying you down on his bed and descending between your legs. He was starving for you for weeks. You watched him spread your thighs and kiss your tattoos. The way it said ‘Eat Me’ was fucking outrageous. Like you. But it was also written in cursive. Like you. Complex strokes rather than simple lines.

“I’m so fucking weak for you,” he pecked your pussy, “Promise me you’ll never deprive me of this.”

He held your hands and started eating his cum out of you first. If there was one flavor he loved better than yours, it was your taste laced with his.

“You’re so fucking nasty, pretty,” you caressed his hair with a small chuckle.

“Shush. I’m in love.”

Hyunjin took his sweet time licking you clean first for the mess he was about to make. He missed this. He missed eating your pussy for his own pleasure—diminishing you into a moaning, panting mess in the meantime was just an added bonus. Slow stripes first. Long drags. Not giving you that contact you were aching for on your clit. Gradually driving you into insanity until you started to get impatient. Futile attempts to ride his face when he stubbornly kept you at bay. Quiet ‘Eat me, pretty’s to cajole him into a leglock. Desperate flinches when he started teasing your clit just with the tip of his tongue. Kitten licks, mellow sucks just to arouse you out of your mind so that you would have no other choice than to sit on his face to get your release.

Because turning you on was his biggest turn on.

“There. Right there! Oh, fuck, I’m gonna cum on your face!!!”

This. He missed this. The way you kept riding his tongue when you were cumming, burying his face deeper into you so that he would moan against you louder, the way you arch, the way you throw your head back, your moans. For him, him, and him only.

You wrapped yourself around Hyunjin and melted in his lips for a long time. It was tender. It was loving. It was sexier than the lewdest things you had ever indulged in.

“Can I ask you something, pretty?”

“Hm?”

“What is it about me that made you so sure?”

Hyunjin kissed your hand and brushed your hair back as you drew circles on his torso with your fingers.

“It’s hard to explain,” he looked into your eyes, “When you know, you know.”

“You’re not scared?”

“I’m terrified,” he flashed a half-smile, “But I choose to trust you with my heart anyway.”

You pulled him into a tighter embrace and spoke against the left side of his chest.

“I promise to take really good care of it, pretty,” then you mischievously smiled to clear the condensing air, “Can I sketch you laying down naked for me?”

“I devoted years of my life to this, but sure, you can try.”

“I really like your newfound sass, you know?” you bit into his shoulder.

“You know what they say. The more time people spend together, they start rubbing off on each other.”

“You’re saying this is because of me?”

“It’s always because of you,” he stole a kiss from your lips, “And I really like it.”

A lot of people could argue that you and Hyunjin were as different as two people could ever be, but you would not-so-kindly disagree. It didn’t matter what two people looked like, what they acted like, how they thought, what they thought, or the things they believed in. As long as they loved each other the same, fuck the darkness within. In the form of a twin, or wrapped in the same skin.

A lot of people could argue Hyunjin had a distorted reflection in the mirror, but you would not-so-kindly disagree. For you, it was all his imperfections that made Hyunjin flawlessly human. He was one of a kind. Second to none.

For you, he was simply the one.

⥊ THE END ⥋

AUTHOR'S NOTE

🍮Like my content? Consider supporting my work with a pudding!

Many bottles of wine were harmed in the making of this story.

If you actually made it all the way here, thank you very much for giving this story a chance. I love Reflection!Hyunjin as much as I love breaking my own heart. I actually made an emoticon after him so you can use it whenever you miss him.

I'll see you in my other work!

If you enjoyed this story, feel free to share your thoughts with me in reblogs, tags, or in my inbox. As long as you're kind, that is.

-R. (CB97%)

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