I Don't Want You To Be Lonely Any More. At Least, You Can Try Opening Your Heart And Getting To Know

I don't want you to be lonely any more. At least, you can try opening your heart and getting to know me. I'll try it out. But I don't know if it will work.

Pit Babe, ep 6

i love them, your honor

12 minutes into ep4 of Jack and Joker and I find myself googling, “how old is War Wanarat?” because my god is this man BEAUTIFUL

"So do you want to be Alan's boy?"

GODDAMMIT

Listen. Here’s the thing. I’m very comfortable with who I am and the gender I identify as. But there is just… something…

About this man…

That I can only describe… I don’t know… gender envy?

Like…

All I know is when I look at him, I feel something akin to aspirational? There is just something about him…

Let me tell you a little story. Once upon a time, my old work (I worked for a news show a la 60 Minutes) did a story on kpop where we interviewed Ateez (it was a shitshow, but that’s another story). This was way back in 2019. Anyway, they enter the room, and let me tell you, all these guys are beautiful. But Seonghwa? I was taken aback. I was breathless. I genuinely couldn’t believe that this man was real. And I’m not talking about me like, wanting to marry him or anything. I’m not thirsting over this man. I just… he’s literally a work of art. I still think about him sometimes because I was genuinely in shock and awe of his beauty.

The best part is that this is not an awakening. This is not news. This is just the start of something past the grudge and the anger, of something new for Jack that isn't about who he's attracted to but what he wants from them instead.