*the Doorbell Rings*

*the doorbell rings*

“No! I just took off my pants!”

Swimsuit weather cometh. Prepare ye the weigh of the lard.

my gym warning me

Nobody will read this but...

I have so much work to do.  I’m so overwhelmed.  I can’t sleep.  I’ve only taken two finals and I still have 6 more and I have so many final projects due friday and I have to work.  I am so STRESSED OUT.  My brain is tired.  My body is tried and I’m surviving on adderall and pepsi.  I’m dying on the inside too becaus eI know it’s my fault.  this is what I get for procrastinating.  but thats how i deal with my probelems by avoiding them and then they come back to bite me worse.  so yeah

just if i don’t show up for a few days, you know i died.  thank you much.

don’t ever take 24 credits. you will regret it

Does anyone out there get scared when they start to see improvement in their mental illnesses?

Like, I’ve been dealing with mental illness for a long time and I finally got to a point where my medication and treatment and everything actual seems like it’s working. I feel better than I’ve felt in a long long time. I still have my bad days, but overall things are better.

I should be stoked. And I’m a way, I am. But at the same time it’s scary to not have my mental illnesses and all the symptoms that come along with them as a way of protecting me??? It’s hard to explain. But it’s almost become comfortable for me to be caught up in my symptoms. Now, it’s uncharted territory. It’s scary.

Just curious if anyone else has ever experienced this?

Paper Towel Dispensers

I want to talk about paper towel dispensers.

Yes, paper towel dispensers. 

You know what I’m going to say.  Everyone does.

They’re the worst. You reach for them, the piece you want doesn’t come away.  Instead the whole roll unfurls.

Or you get two when you wanted one.

Or the piece tears.

Or, or, OR.

And it’s not like it matters which dispenser you buy.

No.

You buy the simple one that just has a stick.  It fails.

You buy the one with the arm that holds the role in place and, in theory, against which you can tear the piece you want. It fails. 

You buy the one with a spring that regulates how it dispenses. The one with the removable top for easily putting in the new roll.  The one that mounts on the wall, the one that you can pick up and move, the one that’s plastic, aluminum, rubber-edged.

It never matters.

Paper towel rolls are composed, 100%, of disappointment.

And that’s the point I want you to consider today.  

You are going to be disappointed. Repeatedly.

In yourself.  In your fiends.  In your college.  In your mentors.  In your family. In your career.  In your dinner.  In your partner.

Because disappointment is a normal part of life. It’s not a sign that something is horribly wrong.  Or that you should have made a different choice.  Or that there’s something better out there, if only you discard this item and choose that one.  Instead, it’s part of the human condition.

To exist in the world is to be, repeatedly, disappointed. 

And you’re doing it, not just experiencing it.  Other people are disappointed in you, sometimes.  

So, as you emerge from childhood and enter adulthood, I want both to warn and to reassure you.

Be humble as you interact with others, knowing that-at times-you will disappoint them. Be forgiving as you encounter the world, knowing that-at times-it will not live up to your expectations. And try to remember that we are all negotiating the space between our dreams and our realities. 

The sweet spot isn’t the one that’s all dreams.

It’s the on you’re in, right now, with all the fulfillment and excitement and potential and...disappointment that you’ll feel.

This is all we get, good and bad.

Enjoy it.

Pure peace. Pure happiness.