So I've Been Noticing Lately That There's A Growing Divide Between The "I HATE Romance Under All Circumstances

so I've been noticing lately that there's a growing divide between the "I HATE romance under all circumstances and at all times" (romance repulsed) and "romance is GREAT and I love it just as much as any allo person" (romance favorable) aros. while being either is fine, there are many aros who aren't either, so...

here's the romance-indifferent aros. here's to the aros who only like romance once and while. here's to the aros who enjoy romance-focused stories but get annoyed when it shows up anywhere else. here's to the aros who are incredibly picky when it comes to romance (but when it does fit their standards they really do enjoy it). here's to the aros who find their preferences changing a lot. here's to the aros who are neither romance repulsed nor romance favorable, because our community can never be divided into two, perfectly opposing sides.

Does anyone else on the arospec feel incredibly isolated from almost everyone? I don’t mean in a, “they can bond over same-sex relationships/being trans” way, I mean in a, “I no longer see things through an amatonormative lens but almost everyone I talk to does” way. 

The entire concept of love has been shifted drastically for me, but for other people, it’s rigid, inflexible, set in stone; romance is romance, friends are friends, there’s a line, it’s absolute, it’s simply the way things are. 

But so much of that confuses me, now. How can something be inherently romantic? How is teasing and complimenting people considered flirting, which is considered being romantically interested in someone? How is acting or looking at someone in a certain way somehow different between friends, lovers, family? How is platonic intimacy considered simply a stepping stone to romance? How is being emotional with people a sign of attraction? How?

I just don’t understand. And not being able to understand these things leaves me isolated from others, sometimes entirely, and it can be so exhausting sometimes. It’s exhausting to always have to justify why you don’t see things the same way they do, because the way they see things is “right” and “that’s just the way things are”, because “it’s a part of being human”. 

And, unfortunately, a lot of that comes from the LGBTQ+ community, especially when it comes fandom spaces. If you speak up about a same-sex/gender couple perhaps not being romantically interested, or you headcanon someone as aro, it’s always, “why does this happen when it’s a sapphic/mlm couple/lesbian/gay headcanon?” 

The implication that we are homophobic because we don’t see love in the same way others do hurts. The way that so many people see fans who want aromantic representation as simply not supporting gay people. Or when we speak up about people continuing to ship a confirmed/implied/coded aromantic character in romantic relationships, and we’re told to “stop taking it so seriously”. 

Arophobia is isolating, and unfortunately, it’s everywhere. The way society has regulated people’s lives, telling us how to be happy, who to be happy with, the rules of happiness, has long-since ingrained internalized arophobia into everyday life, and it’s so hard when you’re aware of it, but can’t do anything about it because no one wants to step away from their easy, comfortable ideals.

hello everyone i am back with another quiz. what soul type would you have in fear and hunger? enjoy. https://uquiz.com/quiz/dnAyEC/what-type-of-soul-would-you-have-fear-and-hunger

hey everyone! i've seen a lot of book talk going around, so i'm just posting the link to my copy of file again for all of you. enjoy lol (also, if this link or any links to the book in other posts stop working- just DM me! i will be more than happy to get the pdf to you :])

hope the coin toss was successful

but then, maybe it wasn't

me, an autonomous adult in college: *looks up tips for managing adhd on a deadline*

every single result: AS A PARENT to help YOUR CHILD WITH ADHD monitor YOUR CHILD'S behavior and reward HIM for doing work because CHILDREN WITH ADHD need constant support-