I Am By No Means A Fanartist But I Have This Little Headcanon Of Jean Developing A Nervous Habit Of Fiddling

i am by no means a fanartist but i have this little headcanon of jean developing a nervous habit of fiddling with renee's cross necklace so i had to scribble it down

i got so bryan seth gordon and polyamory pilled that i invented polyam seth/allison/renee au.

it's v form triad even though none of them know it's called that. all they know that while allison is on and off with seth, she's also looking at renee and renee is sending those vibes back.

in a better world, where seth survives od and gets better, stops tearing team apart with animosity towards monsters, where renee allows this to happen, allison draws her in. renee stood no chance. and seth looks at her sometimes, commiserating — that's ally for you — and renee responds with a fond smile — yes, she is like that.

connection to allison does not make renee and seth friends automatically but it offers possibilities to become ones.

(renee has to bleach and dye her hair every month. seth just bleaches his to look less like his brothers. usually allison helps them both but once she just dumped seth on renee with bleach and brushes and departed, citing that she's busy and they can help each other. they did. it's a nice ritual to have.)

it's a strange thing for seth. how do you treat a girl your girlfriend looks at longingly? even his homophobia and possible left over misogyny aside, how do you talk to her?

(what if allison chooses her over you, seth? yes, she struggled more than you and has baggage three times yours but she's nicer. sweeter. when she thinks you can't see she holds ally's hand like a knife: carefully, respectfully, like something revered. what do you do with that?)

allison's brutal honesty keeps seth out of habit of lying to himself and offers a breath of fresh air to renee. when he asks: me or her? she says: both equally and differently. he has to reckon with the fact that he can have allison like this or not at all.

(he will never know, but if he broke off things that one time, it would have been the last.)

he deals with it good, all things considered. couple of fights and nights spent blindly drunk and high notwithstanding. rare edges of renee — knives, spars with andrew, quiet no when faced with drugs — help to reconcile with the notion of sharing.

renee didn't care for him before she entered the relationship with allison. he was on a periphery and if something happened to him that upset allison she would have been understanding but she did not consider him her own the way she did with the girls.

after seeing him with allison she has to reckon with the fact that there is actually something in him that allison loves. it's not just body chemistry and bad decisions. brutally honest and so bloody loyal, pushing her to be the best, not trying to restrain her but to egg her on. willing to shut up and listen sometimes. blackest sense of humor you have ever seen, voice a sweet tenor.

(if seth dies, his ghost isn't haunting only allison. renee mourns too, quietly.)

i've seen the post that goes "neil has the crunchiest hair ever seen because of constant dyeing" with counter argument being "his hair is lighter color so it wouldn't be so damaged" but like do we know that he kept the same brown hair for longer than a year in a row? i always assumed that he and mary went through different hair colors so they wouldn't be recognized. on the other hand i haven't reread the books in a while so i maybe forgot something.

also him having an absolutely dead crunchy hair and still looking gorgeous enough to make people flirt with him is funnier to imagine

Exy Fans on Twitter (Championship Final Edition pt.3)

The way I see it, Andrew was like a garden stake for Neil and Kevin: he couldn't do their growing for them, but he could be the solid, unbending support rod that they could use to grow toward the sky without having to worry about falling to the ground when they were not ready to hold themselves up ("the main function of a garden stake is to ensure that a young or weak plant can hold itself up against the elements").

And I think that's what Kevin and Neil are trying to be for Jean now. They are finally steady enough on their own that they're able to support someone else, and Jean needs them.

Kevin provides guidelines that make sense within Jean's worldview (you have a new master, obey him by going to LA and building a new life for yourself / you made me a promise so you can't kill yourself), he asks Betsy to break his own patient confidentiality as much as she needs to show Jean that Kevin trusts her and he can too, he coaches Jeremy on how to best support Jean (if you tell him to submit, he will / he will need someone to go to class with him / he will fall apart without a buddy system).

Neil encourages Jean to make meaningful connections with people because it will help keep him safe, he anchors Jean when dealing with the FBI, he actively removes a threat to Jean's safety so it won't hinder his slow growth, he uses a lil bit of emotional manipulation to drive the message home that Jean is worth saving, he makes himself someone Jean can talk to about the things only the two of them understand.

Jeremy, Cat, Laila, Rhemann, the Trojans, they are all vital for Jean's healing, the soil in which he'll put down roots; but it's Kevin and Neil who have been in his position before and know exactly what they needed to survive and thrive in a new environment. They needed Andrew to prop them up, and now they'll do that for Jean.

I still can’t believe so many people place Nicky as some sort of pacifist/conflict hater who is upset when arguments break out when canonically he is known to makes things awkward and uncomfortable just because he finds sheer joy and amusement out of it 😭