Zombie Apocalypses Are Curiously Lacking A Large Array Of Common Equipment That Could Neatly Control

Zombie apocalypses are curiously lacking a large array of common equipment that could neatly control the situation.

“But we can’t build walls to contain them!”

Moves by truck, train or boat. Ridiculously common. And see those holes on the bottom? Mobile by forklift. Also, HEAVY, even when empty they’re in the tons. If you had some warning you could string these things end to end for miles and human bodies can’t move them. Plus they’re nice and wide so you can comfortably walk on top of them for patrols.

“But we don’t have easy ways to kill them!”

Put the shotgun down you fucking idiot.

No tires to pop. Heavy and slow but inevitable. Climbing required to enter and thus, relatively zombie proof, especially if you spend like an hour to protect the glass.

A lot of large farming equipment can destroy cars.

Want to guess what it’d do to a decaying human body? It’s not pretty.

Now I know what you’re thinking. Merely flattening them with common construction equipment or farming gear isn’t enough.

How about a tree trimmer that can mulch a tree top to bottom in nothing flat?

OM NOM NOM NOM.

“But we need ways to move a lot of people that zombies can’t stop!”

BEEP BEEP MOTHERFUCKER. Deer don’t have a chance and neither does a zombie.

“But that’s not good enough!”

NOW it’s time to call our friend the military because this ride stops for no one.

Do I need to keep going or is it clear the movies are bullshit yet? Seriously a dozen prepared people with heavy equipment licenses could clear an entire street of zombies AND powerwash it after.

i swear to god, men raising their voice is the most terrifying thing in the whole world. they dont understand, like its an immediate panic response, game over

Quiet Companionship

Voltron

Keith & Shiro

Several times Keith and Shiro share tea.

Also posted on AO3.

Shiro shrugged, rolling his shoulder to try and loosen them from the cramp that had taken up residence because of his hunched positions. Keith was not any more comfortable by that point, not with his neck at such an angle against the arm of the couch. Even as he watched, the younger man fidgeted in place for a moment before resettling, still staring at the screen in front of him. It was past time for a breather.

“Be back in a bit,” he commented offhandedly, receiving a distracted grunt in reply.

He considered the kettle as he stepped into the kitchen but decided against it for the moment. The microwave would be quicker and they were definitely too tired to take the extra time. Learning the information was usually fun and interesting, but the tests and the need to study for them was just annoying after a while.

Water filled mugs were placed in the microwave and, while they heated, he grabbed a towel to pull them out with, not wanting to burn his hands. Knowing how clumsy he could be, it seemed like a good idea to avoid a burn. Short moments later, he carried the two mugs, spoons, and his container of sugar to place on the coffee table.

At the noise, Keith looked up before quickly moving his laptop to the side and making grabby hands for a mug.

“What is it this time?”

“Cranberry and blood orange black tea.”

“Mmm. Sounds good.”

The both cradled their mugs, the heat feeling wonderful against hands that were cramping because of all the writing and typing they had been doing recently. The steam also felt great against eyelids that were hurting from staring at screens for so long.

“So, what brought this on?” Keith asked, mixing more sugar in than was probably healthy.

“We needed a break,” he replied. “And now I’m starting to realize I’m hungry.”

Both laughed at the realization they had skipped one meal and almost missed another, grumbling stomachs providing even more amusement along with background noise. It took a bit, but they finally calmed and ordered sub sandwiches.

-

Keith moved quietly around his shack, discomfited by how many people were there, boiling water and fixing up a couple of mugs the way he had long since memorized. He padded quietly out onto the porch to look up at the sky with his companion. The extra mug was accepted from him in short order. For all that he wanted to cling to the older man now that he was back, it felt like it would not be the best move on his part.

After a sip, Shiro hummed. “This isn’t one I’ve had before.”

“Green tea, spearmint. I think some lemongrass. Haven’t really looked at the description since I bought it.”

He leaned against one of the posts, slowly finishing off the tea. Keith took a seat on the steps, maintaining the quiet that had fallen over them. The sounds of the desert were nice, a welcome change. Keith’s action of bringing him tea was even more calming as it was one thing that had not been corrupted by his time in space.

-

The kitchen was deserted at that time of night on the castle. Or, at least, it normally was. This particular one, he was not the only one that was taking up residence there. In this case, he was definitely grateful as the kettle had already boiled and he could make himself a cup of tea immediately instead of having to wait.

He dunked the infuser in the hot liquid and breathed in the steam with his eyes closed before taking a seat at the table across from the room’s other occupant. He was slowly rotating his mug in his hand, staring at it as if it would solve all of his problems. If that was possible, that would have been extremely nice, but it was not the case. Keith savored the space brew with his eyes closed before he finally actually focused on his silent companion.

“Anything you want to share?”

Shiro shook his head in the negative. It was enough for him to have someone there with him so he did not feel as alone as he had the last time he had spent so much time in space. That it was Keith was both a negative and a positive as he trusted Keith to have his back no matter what but had never wanted to introduce him to this kind of violence.

Irresponsibility Hurts

Voltron

Keith is shot in the desert in the time he was living by himself.

Also posted on AO3.

Keith stared at the device in his hands, trying to make sense of the readings it was gathering from his surroundings. Something was really off the charts, but he had no idea what. His sensors could not pinpoint the particulars of whatever it was and his computer could not make heads nor tails of it either. It was almost time to turn in for the day and he had gotten no closer to figuring out what he was seeing, which was nothing new as it had been happening for weeks at that point. With a frown, he shut the device off and logged his coordinates in his GPS so he could return the next day and continue further. As it was, he would not be getting home until a while after dark and sleep had become a luxury by that point.

He turned and began retracing his steps, moving through the vegetation confidently as he had done so frequently for the past couple of months. This was comforting, reminding him of his first years when he still had his father and they would go on long walks around their cabin. Before he could dive down that rabbit hole, something seared along his ribs and a gunshot echoed through the dusk.

“Fuck!” he cursed, loudly enough that it carried for a fair distance. His hand clasped over his ribs, teeth bared in a snarl as he heard some scrambling and cursing. Damn amateur hunters that had no idea what they were doing and inflicted it on those around them. Of course, they would not even try to help whoever was injured. They would be brought up on charges if they did that and the police were called. This way they could not be identified. And, if a body was found, it would be quite difficult to link back to them. In a lot of ways, that ranked them lower than dirt at that point in his eyes.

It took hours to get back to his shack and, by then, he was exhausted, in pain, and fading fast. Everything hurt, any movement jarring the wound. The shakes had, thankfully, subsided pretty quickly so he had been able to drive the majority of the way, but it had taken so much longer because he could not pull his normal stunts. Plus, he had needed to take the time to tear his shirt into strips and wind them around his chest to help stop the bleeding. By then, he was shivering from the chill and stumbling due to exhaustion.

Falling down on the couch pulled painfully against the t-shirt strips and he could feel the wound reopen and warmth spreading down his side again. The fabric was soaked through and he would probably need to soak in the tub to loosen the strips enough to take off. Some parts had surely clotted better than others or were not jarred quite as bad. The question was whether he had the energy to run the bath and then take care of himself. He would have to just hope he could make it through. There was nobody he could call and it had to be done.

He groaned as he pushed himself upright and toed off his boots, using the arm of the couch to help keep himself upright. The jeans he unbuttoned and pushed down until they fell down to pool around his feet, which he stepped out of and then toed his socks off - a frustrating process that took longer than he wished. At least the cabin was small, so he grabbed a bottle of whiskey on his way to the bathroom and settled into the tub before he turned the water on. The longest part of the process was, thankfully, the filling of the tub and, soon enough, he was letting the tinted water drain. There was a small pile of fabric on the floor and he carefully dried off before sitting on the edge of the tub and finally putting a true bandage on the wound and could tell that something in there was broken to some degree. That was going to put a damper on his explorations.

Comforter Comfort

Voltron

Keith & Voltron Paladins

Bonding with the other paladins, blanket included.

Also posted on AO3.

Shiro was the first person he ever allowed himself to get close enough to for him to feel comfortable curling up near on the couch. It was during the spring break at the Garrison his first year there. With his father gone and his foster family not having planned for him to join them on their vacation, he had thought he would have to stay in the dorms. However, when Shiro found out about that, he had insisted that Keith spend the week with him. That was how they ended up on a ratty, but comfortable, couch with the TV playing an ancient episode of some documentary on an ancient civilization. He guessed it was interesting enough.

He slowly scooted down a bit further and stretched his legs out of the curl he normally preferred. They were going to be there a while considering what his mentor had said about the channel holding a marathon on that particular civilization. Maybe he could catch up on some of the sleep he had missed while studying for midterms. Those had been more difficult than he had expected, but also easier in some ways.

Just as he was on the verge of dozing off, a weight fell lightly against his thigh and he startled slightly. A glance showed that Shiro had beat him to sleep by just a few short minutes. He was not about to wake him just to get him to move. The man had to be even more exhausted than he himself was.

He looked around for a moment before his eyes settled on the blanket on the back of the couch. That was the only thing missing and he slowly grabbed it and shook it out over them. It settled over them and he hurried to uncover Shiro’s head but kept his own knees covered. Once that was finished, he turned his attention back to the documentary. This was such a new development that he would need a bit of time to acclimate, but he would sleep soon enough.

-

He had been co opted by Pidge not that long before when he had stopped to check on them. They were sifting through the data, both scrolling on their laptop and the data pad they had handed him, looking for anything that could indicate that their family was being held somewhere or transported. He could tell that the files he was skimming were death records. Understandable. While they were not giving up hope, the records still needed to be checked for thoroughness.

A bump against his shoulder dragged his attention from the data scrolling before him. Pidge’s arm was outstretched with the blanket they were curled up in, a wordless invitation to join them underneath. He obligingly scooted over and pulled the free edge up over his shoulder, knee to hip pressed up against them and he curled an arm around their shoulders, knocking his temple against their’s comfortingly. They returned to their tasks, both more comforted by the contact.

-

A frown pulled at his mouth as he watched Lance stare out of the window with a rather devastated expression. He turned on his heel and made for his room, returning quickly with his comforter in hand. To announce his presence, he dropped the blanket on the blue paladin’s head, causing him to sputter in indignation while he sank down to sit near him.

“What was that for?”

Keith shrugged in response, settling his chin on drawn up knees. “I miss sundaes.”

Lance quirked a disbelieving eyebrow in his direction even as he curled the comforter over his shoulders, hands fisted in the material even as he rested elbows on knees and propped his chin up.

“There’s got to be some kind of ice cream up here in space. Or maybe we can get Hunk to try making it?” he tried again. When he got no response, he continued as if Lance had answered. “You’re right. Hunk would be the better option. At least we know most of what we’re getting into there. And how do we know that ice cream won’t murderously offend someone up here? Maybe it’s like insulting their mother and not in the funny ‘yo momma’ jokes way either.”

That brought a light chuckle from the cocoon next to him.

“You know ‘yo momma’ jokes?”

“I mean, I went to public school.”

-

Hunk was surprised when Keith wandered into the lounge, blanket wrapped around his shoulders and dragging like an extra long cloak or one of those extremely fancy veils or dresses behind him. If that was not weird enough, he then proceeded to flop on the couch and butt his head up against Hunk’s arm like a cat demanding pets. He was just going to go with it and not think too hard. If he did that, he was only liable to freak himself out.

Eventually, he needed his hand back to continue with the calculations he was working on just to hear a whine from Keith before he was scrambling to perch, sprawled out really, on the back of the couch he was lounging on and resting his forehead against the yellow paladin’s neck, draping the edge of the comforter over Hunk’s other shoulder. Apparently that was how the rest of the evening was going to go. He shrugged, settling Keith in a slightly more comfortable position. At least it was warm.