WHERE IS THAT JEAN AUGUST INSPIRED FIC I CANT FIND IT PLS HELP ME

WHERE IS THAT JEAN AUGUST INSPIRED FIC I CANT FIND IT PLS HELP ME

FUCK IT HURTS SO BAD BUT IN A GOOD BAD WAY IF THAT MAKE SENSE

Lonely

summary: while you're injured and in oblivion, Levi asks you to wake up when he comes back after the war... if he does.

✧ pairing: levi x fem reader

✧ includes: angst, major character death, manga chapter 139, afterlife au, mentions of injuries, very angsty

✧ a/n: not me hurting my own feelings when writing this 😭 this is inspired by something from Lucifer S 5B, and of course, this song by mgk.

“then he said goodbye way too soon, and this don't feel right without you.”

“... that's our approach.” Armin concludes the plan of operation to Levi as he quietly held his infant son in his arms and watched you sleep on the infirmary bed.

On the way home from the rumbling, you acquired some major injuries and contusions that currently put you in a coma. It's only been a couple of days, but everyone was still worried.

“Okay, is that all?”

“Yes, captain.” Armin answers.

“Alright, Can you excuse us.” He immediately obliged at Levi's orders, proceeding to the doors and quietly closing it, letting the three of you have your private time

“Listen...” Levi sighs, he knows you couldn't hear him, but a small part of him hoped you could, and so he's now going to tell you what's about to happen. “We are at war now, and things are not looking good for us.” He gets up from the rocking chair to put your son in a small bassinet, carefully tucking him in with the blanket you've sewn for him, with his name neatly embroidered on the corner— Scout.

Taken from your group, Scouts, it also means, the first explorer. You are all fighters, and ever since Scout came to your lives, you had more reason to fight. All you want for him is to be able to freely explore the world for it's beauty and not the abomination you are going through. It was a promised you carved on a stone

“If I'm being candid here, this doesn't feel so right without you, I knew how much you'd love to fight in this.” Levi says, now fixing the blankets of your own. “But you have to rest.”

“When... when I return, please be up.” He asks, running a hand up your arm. “I have to go now.” He placed a soft kiss on your forehead. “Don't go anywhere, brat.”

It turns out that every man must have a peaceful place to contemplate. A safe place, if you will.

and if you don't have such a place, well, it's a good idea to find one.

[Name]'s eyes slowly open to the harsh rays of the sun and immediately, by instinct, she looks away only to feel her whole body laid on dewy green grass.

In that moment, her surroundings start to stir clear, feeling the cool breeze hit her skin as she sits up to meet the endlessly colorful blankets of different plants and flowers extending through the fields and up the hill.

a flock of crane birds flew above as she got up, now feeling the hem of her soft, white, chiffon dress tickling her calves as it flowed through the wind.

It felt so peaceful and tranquil for [Name], feeling no pain and worries. Any negative thing– just simply didn't exist in this place. It's like she could stay here forever, exploring every square feet of the land.

[Name]'s head turns to get a full look of everything, before realizing that she had the whole place to herself. No one else was in sight.

The grass was greener, and the sky was more vibrant than she could remember. Animals she's never seen before walked by the woods and the birds chirped a beautiful song as she walks down the hill, getting a sight of where she was.

It was until she sees what seemed like a picnic spot on a nearby area. [Name] carefully made her way to the spot to observe the setting.

On a blanket was baskets of bread and pastries, a bottle of wine, and petals of roses scattered around. She couldn't help but crash on the blanket and lay herself down.

After a moment of watching the clouds pass up the blue sky, [Name] decides to pour herself a glass of wine, propping herself up before taking a sip. It was even more fine than she could remember– everything deemed to be better in this place. Where the hell was she?

“[Name]!” A distant voice took [Name] out of her moment, her eyes and ears starting to look from the source. “[Name]!” The voice called another one, now seemingly more loud and clear.

“[Name]!” She finally gets ahold of the voice and finds the right direction, slowly getting on her feet as she saw the figure standing.

“[Name]!” The figure waved one of their arms while she slowly approached, now seeing the person clearly. Is that...

“Levi!” [Name] finally identified the person, who turns out to be her lover all along. She wasted no time in getting to him, running as fast as she could as her feet stomped through the grass.

Levi couldn't help but smile at the sight of finally getting to see [Name] run towards him in such excitement and full of joy. Until she trips on a small rock she didn't notice, having fallen down face first which caused Levi to laugh.

“What?!” [Name] immediately stands herself up and dusted off the dirt. “This really is real.” She remarked, while Levi still chuckled at her little accident. “I hate you.” She rolls her eyes. “You love me, brat.” He replies, finally having her closer from a few feet away.

“I told you not to go anywhere.” He says, now taking a couple steps closer to her. “Right...” [Name] nods, remembering hearing Levi's voice earlier. How long has it been since then?

“Wait, what are you doing here?” She realized that he's in the same place at her. Was he okay? What is he doing here? Did something happen to him? [Name] had so many questions.

Her question made Levi freeze on the spot. He wasn't ready to answer that just yet. But he needed to tell her a couple things, and that is his priority right now. He's going to be honest and direct.

“I'm here to tell you something...” He states, gently taking her hands in his as she looks up in response, ready to listen intently.

“We won, my love.” Levi stated, bringing a smile onto her face. “The war... yeah...” She remembered Levi saying something about the war starting. “We won that?”

“Yes.” [Name] almost jumps on him when she hears the news. It's safe to say that humanity is finally free.

“Let's go home then, my love.” She offers a hand to Levi, on which he only looks at. Her response broke his heart into pieces. It's time.

“I want to... spend time with you here first.” He spoke. “Alright.” She agreed.

Levi lets her hook their arms together as they quietly walk back towards the picnic spot she found earlier, butterflies flying past them before taking their seats on the blanket.

“[Name], I need you to listen.” Levi wanted to be honest to her, and she needed to hear what he had to say. “Yes?”

“While the world is finally free from the powers of titans, sadly, I cannot come back.” He truthfully spoke. [Name]'s heart drops to her stomach, “Wh-why?” She fearfully asked.

“It's too late for me.” He says. [Name] never knew that such five words could make her world fall apart. and with that, it's as if she gets a vision of what happened to Levi. after killing Zeke and eliminating Eren's titan, she had a vision of Levi sitting by a boulder, seeing all of his friends.

“Oh...” She exclaims. “Yeah...”

“What, what about me?” She asks. “You can still go back, your condition is doing better.” Levi answers. “What about Scout?” [Name] says more of worried than a question.

Levi didn't want to leave his son. But sadly, he cannot control that. He could do something else though, and that is to make sure that [Name] makes it back for their child.

“[Name]...” Levi softly calls for her name before shifting behind her, and holding her close into an embrace.

“You know I'll never really leave you, right?” He asks, his fingers keeping her hair tamed from the slight wind gushing.

“But, while I was fighting, I knew at some point, I may–” “I know.” She interrupted his words.

“Dying is exhausting.” Levi says. “You know, as a soldier, when you feel like, you've done everything for everyone... Give them the will to live, will to fight, but I never understood this level of exhaustion...” He sighs, eyes fixed on the colorful fields in front of them.

“But, there came a point that the desire to rest overrides the desire to live.” His words hurt to hear but it was the truth.

“Tell Scout... everything I said to you here. and that I'll always be by your side and I will never stop loving you, not even from a different life.” He states. “I love you.” Levi simply finished.

[Name] let her head fall on his shoulder as they reminisced the sight in front of them.

“It's so beautiful here. Why don't you want me to stay?” [Name] asks.

“It's not time yet.” Levi shook his head.

“But there is no pain here.”

“I've only been here a while but I do kind of miss it.” He admits. “It's not your time yet. Our baby needs you.” He says.

“I'm tired.” She admits. Levi huffed before getting on his feet and offering a hand to her. “Get up, brat.” He then shows her the flower crown he's been making the whole time they had during the conversation.

[Name] obliged immediately, now both her hands intertwined with Levi's as they peacefully stood on the grass, letting the breeze flow through their body, gushing their hair and clothes along with it.

Levi didn't waste no time before resting his forehead on [Name]'s, knowing well that this will be the last time that he's gonna get to hold her this close.

If you know how something's gonna end, doesn't mean you can't enjoy the ride, am I right?

[Name] realizes that they both had white attires on, petals of flowers scattered through the ground by their feet and the birds continue to sing a beautiful song.

“We never had the chance to get married.” She points out. “I know.” Levi painfully admits. “I wish I could give this to our son.” He added. [Name] gulped nervously before speaking, “Me too.”

“Okay, what do you want me to promise?” She asks.

“Make sure... you and Scout know it's okay to cry, don't let this build up and ruin you.” He starts.

“You don't have to be strong every moment of every day, it's okay to fall apart and be a mess.”

[Name] didn't know how hard she was crying when he felt Levi's palm brush against her cheek and kissed the tears away.

“And don't forget to clean our room, especially my office. Because I will check.” A bittersweet laugh comes from the two of them at his words.

[Name]'s laughter died after a few moments, now letting her face level with his neck.

“and it's okay for you to fall in love again... You have my permission.”

“I don't want that.” [Name] denied. He is the love of her life and will always be.

“Me either, but, just in case it comes to that... I need you to know that you are worthy of love and you deserve everything nice in this life.” Of course Levi doesn't want [Name] to forget him, but if she is put in that situation, he wouldn't want her to suffer the wondering and questioning. He's simply saving her the pain.

“And remember– to torture yourself less and don't beat yourself up. Because you deserve to be happy.” He finished up with a kiss on her head.

“You are the love of my life. Everything that I am, and all that I have, is yours forever.” [Name] states, now triggering the waterworks from Levi. That might've been the most beautiful thing someone's ever said to him.

“I love you so much.” He simply answers, continuing to hold [Name] in an embrace as they let the time pass, neither not wanting to let go of each other. He wished this moment would last forever, but he knows, that cannot happen.

He may not be able to stay with her, but he knows, at least, with his embrace, forever stays in her heart.

“Levi!” A faint feminine voice calls from a distance in which Levi recognizes almost immediately, taking his eyes up to the source.

“Mom...” He sees the familiar figure of Kuchel standing by a few meters behind [Name], who waved her hand at him. [Name] knew that it was time for him to leave. She was never ready for this, and she still isn't.

“[Name]...” Levi looks back at [Name] who had a thin smile on her face, looking at him with such adoration and love. She was taking in the last sight she's ever gonna see of him. “Levi...” She whispered.

“It's alright...” She lets his lips fit with hers in a slow rhythm,

“You go, we'll be fine.” She says through the kiss. “It's ok, I'll see you again.” Now pulling away, tracing figures on his arm with her thumb.

“I'll see you again, my love.” He says. and just like that, [Name] lets go of Levi's hands and let him reunite with his mother, her body already missing his touch as she watched the mother and son finally meet each other again.

“Mother...” Levi almost jumps for an embrace while Kuchel happily held him in her arms. “Levi!”

This was all [Name] needed to make sure her lover is going to be all fine in this place. They get to say goodbye, bind their promises, and she got the assurance of him being free of pain now. He can be truly happy now, but she's sad she can't witness all of it.

“[Name]...[Name]?...[Name]...” [Name] started to hear faint voices and ringing in her head, entrancing her into a dizzy and disoriented state, the sight of Levi and Kuchel coming to a blur as her head felt heavier and heavier by the second, now her body hitting the ground before everything went black.

“Call the doctors! She's up!” Armin called.

“Where's Scout?” Was the first thing [Name] asked once she gained full consciousness.

“Right here, ma'am!” Connie spoke from the couches, letting her see the infant safely sleeping in his arms

“Okay, everyone, I want a full work-up.” A doctor enters the room, starting the protocol process to check [Name]'s condition.

This procedure took about ten minutes, as they made sure she was in a better and more stable state. and to their surprise, [Name] was so much stronger and better than they expect to. and they could even permit her to go home. But she needed a few more hours for observation.

“I hate to do this.” Mikasa whispers to Armin right beside [Name]'s private room doors. No one wants to be the bearer of bad news. “Me too, but the Captain would've been happy to let her go back home.” Armin explained.

“Hi.” Mikasa nervously greets as they enter the room, seeing [Name] pack some of her belongings and a sleeping Scout on the bed.

“What is it? Did you find a titan that managed to survive?” She asks, noticing the horrified look on Mikasa and Armin's faces.

“No! Nothing like that.” Armin denied. “What then?”

“I-it's about Captain Levi. We have to tell you now–” Mikasa rambled.

“He's fine.” [Name] simply spoke.

“No, he's not... Something happened, he–” Armin's sentence was cut off by a very unexpected yet odd answer from her. “Levi is with his mother.” [Name] says.

“and Erwin, Hange, squad Levi one, and Isabel, and Furlan.” She enumerated. [Name] once again heard the chirping birds and the wind gushing for a moment as she remembered her last moments with her love.

Mikasa and Armin shares a look as [Name] packed the last of her items before carrying the infant in her arms. “You kids should go get some rest, I'm going home.” She advised.

“Yes ma'am!” The two quickly saluted, watching [Name] exit the doors and make her way to the location of the home that Levi had bought for them.

The sight of the way back home wasn't pleasing for [Name], as the town she once called home was now almost completely damaged, which made her question if their home was still intact. It's quite far, but, who knows?

[Name] sees Scout's eyes start to flutter open, and she immediately shushes the child, covering his eyes with the hood of his jacket– actually, Levi's jacket, not wanting the innocent infant to see their surroundings.

After an hour of walking, and talking to her son, [Name] finally reached the woods, beyond happy to see that their cabin was still in one whole piece, ready for them to come home to. Although the thought of Levi not being with them immediately saddened her.

[Name] made her way to their shared bedroom, carefully placing down the sleeping child on the sheets while she fixed up and got ready for bed.

The child was sleeping on her side, so [Name] had no choice but to lay on Levi's side of the bed. She immediately picked up the faint smell of his shampoo and fresh laundry come from the pillow, bringing a smile up to her face.

[Name] knew that scents can fade in an instant, so she wasted no time in burying her head on it and held it close, as if it was Levi she was embracing.

“We miss you already, you know that?” Her tear hits the pillow, and she immediately wipes it off, now laying on her back to face the ceiling.

“I love you, Levi... Never leave our side.”

dancin’ in your levi’s, drunk under a streetlight ｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

jean kirstein x reader | wc: 0.8k+ | L’s FOLKLORE event

You hear him before you see him, which is odd, given his usually towering frame. 

You’d somehow gotten saddled with the task of escorting an extremely intoxicated Jean home from a friend’s birthday party. While you both had a few drinks, you agreed to remain sober enough to be the brains of the operation for the night. After all, its usually the other way around—Jean doesn’t have enough fingers to count all of the times he’s carried your sorry ass from the bar. 

You learn that Jean’s a fast drunk when you lose sight of him within seconds. On the walk home, you stopped to double check that your phone was in your bag. Your eyes were off of him for five seconds, at most—but that was all Jean needed to sprint ahead of you and turn a corner, completely vanishing from your line of sight. 

“C’mere for a second,” like a siren, his call echoes off of the surrounding buildings and summons you closer to him. 

Turning the corner of the brick building, your boyfriend comes into vision. He stands up straight, grinning like a fool beneath the dim illumination of a streetlight. A few moths flutter and dance in the glow directly above him. 

His grin grows even wider as you shuffle towards him with an unimpressed look.

“You’re being an absolute nuisance,” leaves your lips with a frown. 

Keep reading

maybe the purpose of life is to fill it with as many positive things as you can. regardless of how bad life gets, don’t let it steal your personality, your hobbies, your style. after coming home from a bad day at work maybe you need to sit down and read a nice book. after studying non-stop for so long, maybe you should finish that crochet project you’ve been putting off because you’re so busy. maybe we should prioritize the things we love, the things that make us happy, and not just the things we’re forced to do to survive. in this society, a little peace from the outside world is important. don’t give up on the things that make you happy. don’t forget about yourself.

Richard siken / dave eggers

me at 1am without fail