I May Pursue Phallo In The Future, But I'm A Bit Of A Fence Sitter.

I may pursue phallo in the future, but I'm a bit of a fence sitter.

trigger warning: TMI, dysphoria and talk of genitals, obviously. thought I'd give the option to opt out of the rest of my addition to this post.

I'm salmacian, but am also unsure if I want to go down that route or the 'complete' bottom surgery route, i.e. hysterectomy, scrotoplasty and vaginectomy as well as the dick. The thing is, I don't really want a hysterectomy because having a uterus and shit is metal as fuck (it's funny, I used to want to rip apart my body to get that stuff out with my own hands), but I'm not a big fan of the Hole (trademark) at times and find myself fantasizing about just being born with a dick. On the other hand, I am allergic to adhering to normativity even when it comes to sex characteristics, and if I were to get bottom surgery I have half a mind to preserve the hole to achieve that, even if it's a completely useless wound on me.

I'm also just worried about complications.

hey a quick shout out to transmascs who want to get a phalloplasty. mfs are so toxic to you for wanting a dick which imo is stupid as shit. live ur life!! u deserve your dick!!!! don’t let mfs who don’t understand judge u for vibing!!!!!! I hope your current or future healing goes well and it makes you love yourself even more than you currently do

real.

I came across this horrible tumblr post that's unfortunately fairly popular, and it's just so fucking upsetting to me. You know that one image with the 'transmasc transition goals vs transfem transition goals' and the transmasc side is all pink and feminine? well this is the twitter screenshot from the post

trigger warning: calling for the death of somebody, disturbing imagery

I apologize but I cannot be assed to do an image description right now, I am too upset. 'whoever the fuck made this needs to be shot' are you that allergic to feminine transmascs? Jesus fucking christ. And the actual tumblr post ""fixes"" the image by putting team fortress characters on the transmasc side. Can we not do shit like that? feminine trans men and transmascs have it hard enough as is without you fuckers calling for the death of people making memes that have feminine transmasc goals. Feminine transmascs deserve to be depicted, actually.

And I know, somebody may come to me and say "but Sirenium! it's clearly infantilization of transmascs!" and you know what? if your first thought upon seeing femininity is 'infantilization' that is a massive you issue, buddy. I am LIVID as a fairly masculine transmasc that this just goes unchecked. I don't care if it's 'just a joke', you just come off as allergic to GNC trans guys and you need to knock it off.

flag ID: seven horizontally striped flag. the stripes, from inner to outer, are blue, pastel blue, grey, and black. end ID

me fr

my gender/coining a new term

Bxy (pronounced like boy) 

A gender that is both boy and agender/no gender. You can be a boy and agender/no gender at the same time, go between them, or fluctuate between feeling male and not feeling gender. 

 Emphasizes being male.

 Spelled bxy with an X instead of an O as if you’re crossing out that you’re a boy. 

Kinda similar to demiboy (where agender/no gender is the non-boy part), agenderflux (with fluctuations between agender and male), or being genderfluid between agender/no gender and male. 

Can be used as trans bxy if you chose to, but only if you’re afab (similar to trans masculine being exclusively for afab trans people).

Anyone can use this if they feel it describes them. If you have any questions or like anything about it feel free to ask.

This is the flag I have currently created (combination of agender and trans masc flags)

sees cool dyke post

'men dni'

sighs

“Men dni” “women dni”

*a part of me splits off and runs away*

also it's important to highlight the overall lack of choice. you can't control how your attraction feels.

a lot of the perception with male lesbians, specifically trans man lesbians, is the implication that Every trans man attracted to women is a lesbian so it’s misgendering. but that’s not what being a trans man lesbian is, it’s choosing the lesbian label. not every trans man attracted to women is a lesbian, but some are because they choose it. i’m not misgendering myself if these are the labels i choose because i’m using them in a way that reflects my own identity. ofc don’t assume every trans man is a lesbian bc that is misgendering but that’s not what being a trans man lesbian is

can't forget about being called transmisogynistic. I'm sorry but I get to speak about the oppression trans men face, no that doesn't mean I hate trans women, you just really hate when trans men and transmascs are visible in any way

The fact that transmasc people can't say "Hey the queer community has a growing trend of using hatred of men to abuse and outcast trans men" without being called a "TMRA" (totally not terf shit that's rebranded) or misgendered with words like Theyfab shows that a lot of queer people aren't focused on actually building community they just want to kick the ladder down