Could You Please Do Husband Sukuna?
Could you please do husband sukuna?
rhymes — sukuna x f!reader


a/n: don’t worry I will post my own “GOJO IS BACK” drabble later but let’s have some husband + dad sukuna first

“you.”
“y-yes, my lord?”
“where is y/n?”
“in the m-main bedroom, my lord.”
“hm,” sukuna hums as he walks towards the bedroom. he hears squealing, giggling, and cackling from the inside.
just what the hell is being done in his bedroom?
raising an eyebrow, he kicks the door open to reveal both you and his son jumping on the queen sized bed you both sleep on.
“little bunny foo foo jumping through the forest!” you sing and your son giggles, jumping to your rhythm. you take notice of your husband’s arrival and leap at him, “welcome home!”
he is annoyed, but he catches you with a grunt, nonetheless.
“what’re you doing jumping on the bed I made the servants make especially for us so it suits your peculiar tastes?” he grumbles.
you shrug with a smile, “our dear son wanted some time to unwind and who am I to say no to him?”
“you’re his mother. you should have more resistance to his ‘cuteness’ than this; he will grow up to be a king,” he concludes and your son ignores him, still jumping on the bed.
you giggle, “and that’s why I am the fun parent, my dear husband,” you sigh softly and pull him down to press a kiss on his cheek, “I missed you.”
“do it properly,” he says and pulls you up to him and presses a scandalous kiss on your lips. you smack his shoulder lightly after he lets go and he merely chuckles.
“stop doing that in front of our son!”
sukuna smirks and you simply roll your eyes.
“mommy, look I am flying!”
“yes I know, sweetie; that’s awesome!”
“mommy, look I am a superhero!”
“I know, love; you’re the best superhero,” coo at your son who is still jumping on the bed.
your husband just looks at him and wonders how the hell does he get the energy.
personally, you have no idea, but something tells you it’s the genetics from your dear husband who is also the king of curses.
sukuna huffs and pulls you by the waist to him, “you keep spoiling him, but you neglect me?”
“I spoil you both and you know it.”
“do you now?” he challenges and you look at him blankly.
“sukuna, i need to go to work,” you mumble.
“no.”
“no?”
he pulls you closer and nods, “you will stay here til I have had enough of you.”
“BUT YOU NEVER HAVE ENOUGH AND I CAN’T STAY CUDDLING WITH YOU! WHAT ABOUT MY JOB?!”
“you’re married to the king of curses; that’s the last thing you should be worried about,” he deadpans.
“that has nothing to do with spoiling me; you’re just weak-willed,” he grins and you think that, maybe, kicking him in the nuts won’t be so bad.
your son can live without sibling; it will be okay.
you quip, “then how about the time I got you breakfast in bed?”
“the chef was the one cooked it; you only delivered it to my room.”
“why don’t you believe that I cooked it?”
“cause your cooking is awful; it’s probably the only thing close to a poison that could actually kill me.”
you and your son gasp, but your son is the one to retort to his father, “mommy cooked it all by herself! you ungrateful old man!”
you’re about to scold your son to not insult his father but to your surprise, your husband is one step ahead of you.
however, you would’ve preferred if he didn’t even act cause the moron pushed your son off the bed.
your son screams before falling off and hitting the ground in a way that was far from harmless. slowly, his cries grow and he starts wailing and sobbing.
sukuna smirks, “no more monkeys jumping on the bed.”
“SUKUNA! HE IS CRYING!”
“he is my son; he can handle it.”

taglist: @magenta-cat-drawingss @pompompurin1028 @scul-pted @dazaisdeathwish @requiem626k @nameless-shrimp @shinys-bsd-world-1 @sonder-paradise @ravenina14 @jessbeinme15s-notebook @todorokichills @ginneko @missrown @shrynkk @simplyxsinned @beautiful-is-boring @starlostlaiba @izukus-gf @irethepotato @thekaylahub @luciferspen @aeanya @sweetcloudsimp @moon-catto @the-midnightskies @fiona782 @kisakitwister @imjustasimpxd @psychopotatomeme @dreamcastgirl99 @watyousayin @doobiebochana @laylasbunbunny @hojicha-expresso

copyright © tender-rosiey
do not copy or plagiarize or I will rat you out to gojo
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More Posts from Sillyyduck
Request pls: Yuu's Harem
Riddle, Leona, Jamil, Idia, Malleus, Azul to gn!reader that helps them heal from overblot (unsure to add Vil cus he has Rook whom already does god's work everyday)
Reader just comes close to their space and sees if they're doing good. Then it evolves to asking about their day and about the world of TW to make convo. Then it turns to a friendship where Reader commends them for doing things beneficial and good for themselves in the day, then tells them "Good boy/good job!" at even the smallest things when they take care of themselves without Reader's help (beast tamer Yuu awakening)
Reader gives them a braided bracelet made by themself and they cherish it. But then one day the Vice/Other dorm leader notices the bracelet and goes "Ah, so you're officially part of the harem"
You can write either first or second paragraph I just wrote it all out for context of the second
Self Love and Braided Bracelets
A/N: I did a little bit of both 😁 I included Vil, because no offense to Rook, but someone who makes comments about someone's weight is not good for self love
3k followers masterlist
"So, I made this for you. You don't have to wear it, I just….I was making one and it kind of started to remind me of you," you handed Vil the gold and purple braided bracket you'd made the night before. He gently picked it up, seemingly unsure of how to feel about it.
"Also, I just want to say," you took a deep breath, "if you ever need to talk to someone, I'm here to listen."
The look in your eyes was so heartfelt that Vil worried he'd tear up just from looking at it.
"I'll keep that in mind, thank you."
Not that you'd ever know how raw you'd made him feel. Perhaps he was still too weak from his incident. It didn't matter. He was as composed and calm as ever.
A braided bracelet didn't exactly fit his wardrobe. But the next morning, his hand hovered over it, hesitating about not wearing it. So he slipped it on. His gut was never wrong, and it was telling him to wear it. Besides, his sleeves would cover it.
….
Months later, and Vil was now sitting at your lunch table. He'd never admit it, but he enjoyed it when you would take a spoonful of food and feed it to him when he didn't eat enough.
Malleus Draconia, of all people, walked over to your table with a tray, his entourage in tow.
"Hey Mal Mal! I'll get us some more chairs," you said with a smile, getting up and beginning your hunt for seats.
Idia looked up from his silent eating, and pointed to Malleus' wrist.
"So you're part of the harem now, huh?"
"The what?" Vil muttered before noticing the green and black braided bracelet on Malleus' wrist.
"It's not a harem," Riddle said with a pout.
"What else would you call it?" Idia snapped, fiddling with his own bracelet that Vil was noticing for the first time.
"The turnip's got a point for once. It is very harem like," Leona snickered.
"Doesn't harem imply a romantic aspect?" Azul asked, looking up from his meal.
"The flowers we all got for love day have a certain implication," Leona smirked.
"And the "I love you, have a great day! You matter to me!" Texts every morning also have an implication," Jamil muttered, clearly flustered by the conversation.
Idia nodded, and said, "It could also just be a friendly harem. You know, a harem of self love. Harems can be platonic."
"Platonic, huh?" Riddle sounded a little sad.
"It sounds like it really depends on Y/N's feelings," Vil spoke up finally.
Before the others could respond, you came back dragging a chair with you.
"Sorry that took so long! Who knew it would be so hard to find a chair?" You laughed.
Malleus sat down, and you looked over at Idia.
"Idia, I know I don't say this enough, but I'm really proud of you for eating lunch with us."
"Thank you," Idia practically purred, the tips of his hair turning a light pink.
Vil shook his head with a light laugh. He looked at his fellow "harem mates", and realized that whether this was platonic, romantic, or something else, he was willing to see wherever it led.
category : ツイステッドワンダーランド work title : his friends believe you’re out of his league

it wasn’t mean to offend him, but it did nonetheless. no one could blame jade and floyd for their reluctance, azul spent a majority of his time managing the monstro lounge and dipping his hands in a few meticulously calculated business ventures that it arrived as a surprise to see he had a window in his schedule to find love.
perhaps another reason to their doubt could be the fact you are what they call a “total package.” you had the beauty, the brains, and the personality; in the their eyes, you were way out of the dorm leader’s league. taking all of it into account, it made it harrowing to believe him when he announced you were his girlfriend.
the leech twins didn’t need to utter a word, their expression alone voiced their thoughts for them. the top question running through their minds went along the lines of what in the world was he inhaling for him to say something so… so delusional?!
“he didn’t bind you to a contract, right!?” floyd looked down at you. you wouldn’t admit it for the sake of your boyfriend’s blood pressure, however, his friends’ clear skepticism about your relationship greatly entertained you.
“oi!” azul hissed, giving him a silent scolding via a scowl for his uncouth behavior in front of you. was it too much to ask for him to act proper around you? he grumbled to himself, as he reached for your hand and gently squeezed it to calm his nerves.
“what,” floyd shrugged. “i’m only making sure!” forcing azul to pinch the bridge of his nose and groan out loud. in the meantime, jade leans down to your eye level and instructed, “blink two times if he’s holding you captive and i’ll go check your contract for any loopholes.”
your boyfriend complained, “not you too…”
late afternoon rolled around and soon did his friends decide it was time for them to leave. the tension in azul’s neck and shoulders disappeared after the main door finally shut close. he spoke a tad too soon though since you didn’t wait a second later to say, “your friends are really funny, ‘zul. we should invite them to hangout with us sometime again.”

trey was the first person to break the lingering silence in the room. he raised a dubious brow. surely cater can’t be serious. he, and their friends, wasn’t the least bit convinced with his announcement. it had to be fake, it was outlandish! “and you aren’t pulling my leg here?” he asked.
“nope!” cater replied, popping the ‘p.’ he was bewildered by their reaction. he didn’t understand what he did to elicit such a distrustful response. was the thought of him finding love that unconvincing of an affair that it forced all of them to doubt his word?
no, it wasn’t.
trey, ace, and deuce knew he could find love — just not with you, though… it sounded strange to hear that he was dating you of all people. it wasn’t to say that he couldn’t but he was a far cry from your ideal type. you were the resident homebody of the batch, and it was confounding to imagine you, a wall flower, would date a person like him.
tapping his chin, ace stalled, “how do i say this to you? um.” while he had no trouble in speaking his mind, he decided to choose his next words rather carefully since he was speaking to his senior.
“you’re tiresome to be around,” deuce interrupted, growing impatient with ace, “compared to her laidback attitude and easy-going life, you look like a pesky fly that won’t leave her alone.”
“what he said!” ace snapped his fingers in agreement to his friend’s explanation.
great… cater grimaces, a frown makes its way onto his face. and as if that wasn’t enough, trey added, “she’s an introvert and extremely private about her life too — sorry to say it but you’re the exact opposite of who she would date.”
if it were any other individual, they would’ve stormed out of the room. but he was cater diamond and he wasn’t easily wounded. there was a part of him that understands their side because he too was floored when you said yes to go on a couple dates with him and much more after you agreed to be his girlfriend.
needless to say, cater invited you to the dorms the next day just to tell his friends yourself that you were dating him.
CIGARETTES! — #RYOMENSUKUNA

“if my sweet baby doesn’t like cigarettes, then i hate them also.”
SUMMARY. in which sukuna is willing to give up anything for your love, even if it’s his addiction for cigarettes.

“you reek of cigarettes.” you blurt out.
sukuna blows smoke out of his mouth looking bored as ever. “so?” he blankly replies.
“i don’t like it.” you don’t. it’s unhealthy. dangerous. and disgusting. you hate it when he kiss you with this scent. you hate how much he loves it.
“woman, i’m the one smoking, not you.” he replies, eyes looking up as he continue to smoke, he’s high, you can tell. “chill.” he adds.
“then . .” you started, “let’s break up.”
sukuna then laughs, “fuck off.” he eyes finally landing at you, “what are you on about now? bitchy all of a sudden.”
“you always smoke. i don’t like it. you always get into fights. you always drink. you’re always in trouble.” you state his problems, “it’s tiring. im so sick of seeing you smoke that roll. it smells bad and it’s disgusting.”
he looks at you, “too harsh, aren’t you?” it made you glare at him, he can never, ever take anything seriously. “i’m serious. fix yourself, when you’re ready to be a proper boyfriend come back to me.” you say. taking this as a note to leave. a sign of goodbye.
you don’t know how you and sukuna found comfort with each other. he’s very different from you. extremely. though you say harsh words to each other all the time. you know you don’t mean it. you’re not gonna leave him.
you met sukuna through a billiard hall. he was alone and you were with your friends. he found liking into you. a small talk happen between the both of you which lead to him snatching your time away from your friends.
he taught you billiard that time.
you can’t even remember how it was. was it his billiard teaching? or was it his clothed dick sticking and grinding to your core that you feel and only remember?
that night took into a turn. you slept at his place. and the morning after. you had yourself a boyfriend. sukuna was two years older than you, it was his last year in college. though he goes to a different one he never fails to pick you up after school. he drives a BMW c400x a black colored one. taking you to the streets of tokyo you’ve never laid eyes or even knew exists. being with sukuna made everything different, he showed you a whole new world. he was the only man for you.
so you aren’t surprise when you see him inside of your apartment with a coffee in his hands, it was eight in the morning. and he had a spare key.
“sukuna, you can’t just barged in here.” you say. sitting at the across from him. his nerve really. you can never with this man. he makes his own rules.
“the cigarettes.” he started, “i threw them away.”
you scoff at him, “like i’d believe that?”
“didn’t know coffee tasted quite nice. i should drink this more often.” ignoring your question he complimented the coffee he was drinking.
“you really quitted?”
sukuna chuckles, “come here, baby.”
“that’s not my question.”
“bambi, come sit in my lap.”
bambi he likes to call you that. you once mentioned that you found the nickname cute in one romcom drama you forced him to watch. now he calls you that from time to time.
“okay.” you follow his words, sukuna fixed the position of his legs to give you access to sit at. now you’re sitting on him with your legs beside his. side to side.
“if my sweet baby doesn’t like cigarettes, then i hate them also.” sukuna proudly says grinning. “won’t lose you over that shit, now give me a kiss, my girl been so hard on me, eh?”
gosh you really do love him and can’t ask for more.


onsen incident — gojo satoru

synopsis. gojo satoru gets everything he wants and right now he really wants to go to an onsen with you.
contents. fluff, lovesick!gojo, he's just a cute loser, highschool!gojo (first year), he needs to be locked up asap
notes. this is part ii to indulge me? and a piece in the series, but can be read alone.

you’re not sure how you ended up here. one moment you were exorcizing a grade one curse that rampaged a small town with gojo and now you find yourself back at the ryokan you had stayed at the prior night. except this time around you have an overly excited gojo, still at a high from the successful mission.
“suguru mentioned how nice the onsens here were,” he brings up innocently, his lips curving into a sly grin. you spare him a side glance.
“we should be heading back to the airport to return to tokyo,” you asserted, eyes trained on the entrance of the onsen— a wooden paneled door leading to the private hot spring that came with the room you and gojo had unknowingly reserved.
gojo stretched leisurely, his body arched like a cat as he yawns, “i don’t know about you but i’m beat! that curse wore out all my energy and a quick dip in an onsen is just what this body needs.” he opens one eye, gauging your reaction.
you don’t buy his act. “you exorcised the curse instantaneously, gojo.”
but gojo doesn’t back down easily, “yeah, well that took up a lot of cursed energy and now i’m drained,” he reasons. the white haired male solidifies his argument by collapsing on you just to show how fatigued he was. his dramatic show nearly sends you tumbling.
annoyance simmered in you, arms folding over your chest. the flight back to tokyo was in a couple of hours, and you had hoped to be able to go sightseeing.
but gojo’s sky-blue eyes plead silently as they look up at you, unblinking. his pink lips start to quiver. it was hard to deny him when he was basically begging. as comical as his dramatics were, you could almost argue how hard it was to resist his unwavering gaze. plus, he was the one that completed the mission singlehandedly.
“fine.” you yielded. “thirty minutes and then we leave.”
he perks up happily.
“great! let’s go!” without wasting a moment, he seizes your hand and practically skips to the entrance.
you recoiled, nearly shrieking, “you pervert! i’m not going in there with you! i’m going to go sightseeing.”
gojo looks at you like you’ve sprouted two heads.
“... then what’s the point of the onsen?” he looked at you incredulously. it deeply troubled you that someone so conniving could look so innocent.
your response is caught in your throat, leaving you flustered and unable to make eye contact. arms remained crossed, you mutter, “you’re insane if you think i’m stepping foot in an onsen with you.”
gojo’s tongue prodded at his cheek, lost in thought, “they do say you have to be insane to be a jujutsu sorcerer." he looks at you all enthused, "don’t be shy now, we’ve already slept together after all.” there’s a teasing lilt in his voice.
“we slept in the same bed– not together! don’t you go spreading that around now,” you jump to cup a hand over his mouth. you feel him grin underneath the palm of your hand.
“same thwing,” gojo’s voice is muffled, but he doesn’t bother taking your soft hand off his face.
“it is not,” you furrow your eyebrows.
“it can be.” he wiggles his eyebrows, a boyish smile growing.
you remove your hand from his face, “have you no shame?”
“not a shred,” he declares cheerfully. “come on, we’re wasting precious time standing here. i can feel the steaming water calling our names.”
“i’ve told you already, gojo. i’m not going to a hot spring naked with you.”
he waves his hand dismissively, “you don’t have to be naked, it’s not unheard of for people to go in with a towel.”
you sigh exasperatedly at his stubborn disposition, “it would still be highly inappropriate.”
“as inappropriate as cuddling with your classmate while he’s naked and unconscious?” he raises an eyebrow suggestively. gojo was once again referring to the previous night’s moment of vulnerability.
you stiffen.
“it was not like that and you know it. for all i know, you were the one cuddling me,” you retorted, crossing your arms with a huff.
gojo raises his hands in defense, “how about we call it even and hop in the hot spring together as a compromise?”
“that doesn’t make any sense.”
“it makes perfect sense. just two classmates relieving the weight of the world off their shoulders.”
you hate that he’s starting to convince you.
the knowing smile creeping on gojo’s face signals that he’s sensed your weakening resolve. he decides to deal the finishing blow.
“this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. with busy lives like ours, who knows the next time we will be able to visit one of the world’s best hot springs?” he gestures dramatically. reluctantly, you start to give into his words.
“fine. but if i see you indecent, i will kill you.” you point a finger threateningly at gojo.
he simply chuckles, “kinky.”

operation satoru x [name]!!!!
gojosatowu attachment: 1 image
shoko.ieiri what the actual hell gojo. i did not need to see a picture of you with nothing but a towel on. ts is disgusting.
getosugu where is [name]? i thought you guys were returning from your mission today.
gojosatowu heh the two of us are going to take a little dip in kyushu’s world famous onsens haha :3
shoko.ieiri WHAT
getosugu you?? [name]?? onsen?? together?? gojo satoru explain hello?
shoko.ieiri where is [name] you dirty pervert i swear i’ll murder you if you pull any dirty tricks answer now
gojosatowu gotta go! ive been dreaming of this day ><
shoko.ieiri don’t you go ignoring us!!

you’re already settled in the hot spring by the time gojo arrives. with a snug towel secured tightly around your body, you are submerged underwater from the chest down. the steam curls lazily into the air, casting a dreamlike haze around you.
“for someone that was excited about the onsen, you came awfully late,” you quipped at the snow-haired boy. his signature glasses are absent, allowing you complete access to his azure eyes. on the other hand, gojo is granted the opportunity of seeing you in all of your natural beauty.
gojo enters the steaming water just a couple of feet away from you, “had to calm myself before seeing you.” he sighs contentedly when the water envelopes him. it was true. his nerves were a lot calmer when he was fighting the grade one curse than the short walk from the changing room to the hot spring.
you can't help but roll your eyes at his obvious flirtation attempt, but you decide to let it slide.
the conversation lapses into silence, an awkward veil settling between you. you were starting to regret ever entertaining gojo’s invitation to the onsen. to escape the discomfort, you divert your gaze to the steam rising from the water's surface and the surrounding rocks. the trees around you start to look interesting as you focus on not letting you eyes stray on gojo’s solid buil—
then, breaking the silence, gojo interjects, "did ya think i looked cool taking down that curse?"
your eyes shift from the rocks to gojo’s face, “it was quite impressive how you were able to crush the curse with your infinity.” you have heard of stories of gojo’s strength, but seeing it with your very own eyes was truly incredible.
he preens under your praise, a faint blush coloring his cheeks.
"perhaps i deserve a reward," he suggests, his voice taking on a playful tone.
you entertain the idea, your curiosity piqued. "i suppose you do."
a deeper flush tinges gojo's cheeks, and he averts his gaze. without warning, he points at his cheek, anticipating something. you tilt your head, puzzled by his unspoken request. he keeps pointing to his cheek, poking it multiple times.
“…”
“give me a kiss!”
the water ripples with how fast you lean back, “huh? no way.”
undeterred, gojo shakes his head. "fine then. i guess i'll have to kiss you.
your eyes widen as he leans closer, and you instinctively scoot away, surprised by his boldness. "what? no!"
“eh?! why not? i went total snowagumon on that curse!”
“that’s your job gojo,” you respond matter-of-factly. you’re a bit taken aback by his digimon reference. how dorky.
gojo clicks his tongue, feigning indignation as he looks away. “hmph. can’t even get appreciation for keeping the world in balance.”
you let out a resigned sigh, realizing he's being dramatic again. it almost feels like dealing with a child. but you suppose you’ll play right into his hands this time– and this time only. he has worked hard on this mission, taking on all the work while you watch idly from the sidelines.
hesitantly, you inch closer towards his frame. the distance closes as you lean towards his face. it was only a split second, but your lips placed a chaste kiss on his cheek.
you watch what once was a pink blush blossomed into something deeper. gojo sits up a little straighter and you notice how the corner of his lips are slightly upward.
“gojo, are you oka–”
“satoru. call me satoru,” he interjected, sounding breathless, his eyes locking on yours.
you look at him, uncertain. “isn’t that a bit too informal? we’ve only known each other for a couple of months.”
“if it was up to me, we’d be married by now,” satoru closes his eyes nonchalantly, sinking deeply into the water until half of his face is under. he blows a series of bubbles. he really was a child.
your laughter rings out melodiously as you throw your head back, finding his remark utterly amusing. “you’re actually ridiculous.”
satoru watches you with a soft smile, his heart feeling lighter. it was criminal how cute you were. if this was his reward for exorcizing a measly grade one curse, he was willing to wipe out all special grades on the earth just to receive your praise again. maybe next time you'll even kiss him on the lips (he'll die a happy man if that happens).
"i am, aren't i?" he muses, basking in the joy of the moment.

extra notes. i lowk hate this but due to popular demand i had to write it. ps i dont even know anything abt digimon i js know gojo likes it gn (forgive me if my digimon reference was totally wrong)
For Tuna; The Search Continues
Summary:gn!reader Grin has begun round two of his search for his your sugar daddy. Luckily, this time he got a babysitter for you, so no interruptions!
This is such a crack fic...And I deeply love it 😂
A/N: It's in my pinned post, and I've mentioned this in a couple posts, but if this is the first of my stuff you've read, I view NRC as an actual college, so reader here is 18+. If it makes you more comfy, imagine it as grad school age.
Part One Part three choose your ending...
"Thank you all for meeting me here," Grim said to the crowd of people. "And thank you all for the gifts. They shall be taken into consideration. Now, today will go as such."
He looked around the room in confusion. "Wait, it appears we are one person short, I guess-"
"Yeah! Me!" Floyd bursted into the room, revealing Jade clutching his cheek, and sitting on the floor.
"What the hell, Sealie! We had a deal! You promised I was in!"
"I don't know what you're talking about," Grim shifted in his seat nervously.
"Then I'm gonna squeeze you so hard you have to remember!" Floyd made to rush Grim, as Azul wrapped his arms around Floyd's middle, not even seeming to break a sweat as Floyd "ran" in place.
"Jade, please come get your brother, before he kills Grim and ruins it for everyone."
"I tried to stop him," Jade hummed as he retrieved his brother.
"Sure you did," Azul sighed, casting a quick stun spell so Jade could get him out of the room. Once things had settled down, Grim called for silence again.
He put on a wig styled in your style and color.
"You will court me as though I am Y/N. You will only move on to the next round if you prove yourself here today. Any questions?"
Idia raised his hand.
"Yeah, who are the normies?"
He pointed at the two random Octavinelle students sitting at the table.
"Ah, yes. Two of our applicants couldn't be here today. They have special circumstances surrounding their absences, so they will be doing their tests at a later date. These two are here to remind you all to step it up."
Rook raised his hand. "Not a question, I just want to say your fur is looking soft and luscious today, monsieur Fuzzball."
Leona, Riddle, and Malleus all groaned and mumbled to themselves, while Vil massaged his temples in pure exhaustion.
"Thank you, Rook," Grim said with a smug smirk. "An anonymous donor has been providing me with a new fur product." Rook winked at him before grinning at Vil.
Silver raised his hand. Lilia attempted to shove it down, but it was too late.
"Again, this feels wrong to me. Firstly because Y/N has no idea about any of this, and secondly, because Y/N should pick their lover! I mean we've all known the prefect long enough to know that-"
"Look!" Grim slammed his clipboard on the table, calling for silence. "I've had enough of you and your goody two shoes ways! The only reason you made it through to this round is because the prefect says you're "baby girl", and I want to say I at least tried to think about Y/N in this process, but if you don't get it together, I'm cutting you completely!"
Silver looked at Lilia in wide eyed confusion, and saw Lilia was grinning. He wasn't sure which was scarier. Not knowing what the hell Grim was talking about, or the fact that his father seemed to be very pleased by it.
"If there are no more questions, then I will give you all the scenario. You are to act as though this is your anniversary dinner. Some of you have already lost points, because you forgot a gift," Grim pointedly glared at Silver.
"Oh! I almost forgot. Silver entrusted me with his gift," Lilia said, excitedly pulling out a gift bag.
"No, I didn't."
"Yes. You did."
Silver shrunk into his chair, as Grim happily accepted the present.
"Alright then. Now," Grim cleared his throat, then in a horrendous mockery of your voice, "Let us begin."
….
"Yo! Y/N!"
You heard Ace's voice shout behind you as you kneaded the bread dough Trey had asked you to help with.
You turned over your shoulder, in time to miss Trey's expression darken.
"What's u-"
"Ace!" Trey shouted, startling both of you into silence.
"Perfect timing, I need to speak with you. In private," Trey said through gritted teeth, attempting to cover up his earlier blunder with a smile.
"What? No don't distract me, I'm here to-" but Ace was cut off as Trey not so subtly shoved him out of the kitchen, telling you they'd be back in a minute.
"Trey, with all due respect, what the fuck? You know full well that right now, Grim is running a practice date with-"
"Ace, shut up for just one moment, I'm trying to help you!"
Ace's mouth snapped shut in shock.
"My first question is, did you have to take out a loan to be able to afford to come here?"
"Yeah everyone has to-"
"The kind of numbers we are fighting against is people who have so much money, that they might as well not have even come here, because they definitely don't have to work a day in their lives."
"But Y/N doesn't care about-"
"Ace, seriously. I need you to think this through, or I'm leaving you here to rot," Trey said tiredly. "No, Y/N doesn't care about money. But they care about Grim. Grim, if he's as smart as I'm starting to suspect he is, is going to make his final pick, then spin it as a fairytale choice for Y/N. He'll wait long enough that they have forgotten about him interviewing people, and he'll come in with a sad little face and be like, 'Y/N, you're my family, but I'm worried that I can't give you everything you need.' And he'll continue to say stuff like that, and lay the ground work, until one day he sets up a cutsie spontaneous date in the living room with his chosen suitor."
Ace frowned for a moment. "That's…that's actually pretty smart. But Y/N says Grim's a dumb ass all the time. Why would they listen to his arguments now?"
"Ace, sevens, I shouldn't have to spell everything out for you. There's a difference between "my dumbass friend" and "my dumbass roommate, who is wholly reliant on me, who is also my cat, and who is my only family in this world"."
Ace pouted for a moment, before spitting out, "It's not fair! How are we supposed to even compete then!"
Trey grinned. "Well, we're here, and they're there. The plan doesn't work if Y/N has already picked someone before Grim has."
Ace broke out into a grin. "Trey, you're just as devious as the rest of us!"
"I don't know what you're talking about. Now, do you want to help Y/N and I make bread? This is a one time offer, after this you're on your own."
"Absolutely. Nothing like making bread amongst friends."
….
"Riddle, it was so very wonderful that they allowed you to have our anniversary dinner off," Grim hummed as he cut a piece of meat. "Unlike last year…" he sighed whistfully.
Riddle gritted his teeth. "I'm sorry, my rose, but it was unavoidable. I had to perform life saving surgery."
"You always say that. I'm starting to think you are avoiding me…."
Before Riddle could come up with a response, Malleus had risen from his seat and knelt before Grim.
"My treasure, our lives these last few years have been so wonderful, especially since we have been able to provide the Great Grim with his own estate, and a lifetime supply of sea meat. But I feel I cannot truly continue to share anniversaries with you, unless," he looked at the floor bashfully, "Unless they were with you ruling by my side."
Suddenly, a shimmering ring appeared in his hand.
Grim gasped. "Darling!"
"No fucking fair!" Idia shouted.
"Agreed, this stinks of deceit, lizard," Leona spit out angrily.
Rook subtly returned the ring box he'd been holding to his pocket.
"All's fair in love and war!" Lilia said with a boyish laugh. "But I suppose it is time for my move now."
He stood up from his seat, composing himself, before putting on a face of pure horror.
"My little bat, I beg you not to accept his proposal! You see, as his longtime attendant, and closest adviser, and general of his armies-"
"General?" Vil muttered under his breath, as he furrowed his brow in utter confusion.
"Aim high, I guess," Riddle muttered back.
"I have come to the terrible knowledge that, his highness, king of those who worship darkness, and highest of all draconic fae, has been seeing another on the side!"
"No!" Grim gasped.
"That's a vicious lie!" Malleus spit out, a green thunderbolt striking the ground behind him.
"Is it? Then why did I see you roaming the grounds in a lover's embrace with Silver yesterday?"
"What!" Silver shot up from his seat.
"No, that wasn't what it looked like!"
"Malleus! How could you do this to me? And on our anniversary no less?" Grim sobbed.
Malleus rushed to explain himself, while Lilia handed Silver a notecard.
"No! I'm not…I'm not reading this!" Silver exclaimed.
"Just do it! It's fun!" Lilia laughed, completely ignoring the sobbing Grim, and terrified Malleus.
"No! Fa-Lilia, how does this not seem weird to you in any way? How are you okay with any of this?"
Lilia stared at him blankly, before understanding dawned on his eyes. "Oh, right, see because I raised you so well, I sometimes forget you are human. But we do this all the time back home. I've hosted three of these for you already."
Lilia shrugged, totally ignoring Silver's jaw dropping.
"Obviously, no one has been worthy of my precious Silver, but I figure if anyone is it's Y/N. See if you win, you get Y/N, and I've raised the perfect son. If I win…well your odds are high of also someday finding a kick ass person."
Silver would have yelled at his father about the Insanity of his thought process, except he collapsed back in his chair and was asleep.
"That's it!" Grim shouted. "I'm clearly not enough for you! It's over!"
Malleus started sobbing.
"For seven's sake," Vil groaned, before standing up, and stepping around Malleus' fetal positioned body. "Darling, I decided we're finally going to go on that vacation we've always dreamed about. And Grim will obviously come too, with all the gold and food he could ever wish for. Happy anniversary, my apple blossom."
"Oh Vil, how romantic!" The betrayal from earlier completely forgotten, Grim sighed happily.
"But how are we able to afford it?"
"Sorry?" Vil choked.
"Your manager called this morning. She says no one wants to cast you anymore because you're too old."
"Excu-!"
"Vil, you're almost 25 now," Grim said pointedly. "You're practically dead in the industry, and those looks are only going to hold up for so long."
"I bought you an island!" Idia shouted over the table.
"Oh?"
"I bought you an island, and the ocean around it," Azul said with a smirk.
"Oh yeah? And how is Y/N supposed to get there, if I bought all the yachts, and patented all travel technology for myself?!" Idia shouted, hair turning a deep crimson.
"I will turn Y/N into the siren they were always meant to be, and they will swim to our island and oceanic home, far away from the dystopia of you running everything!" Azul hissed.
"Capitalist dipshit!" Idia yelled, before launching himself at Azul, both of them soon wrestling on the floor.
In the chaos, Rook, had snuck over to Grim and wrapped an arm around his shoulder.
"Mon amour, let us escape this room to explore parad-"
Leona yanked him by the collar, looking him right in the face.
"Back away from my mate, hunter."
"Oh Rois des Leones. I shan't surrender to you."
And now Leona and Rook were wrestling.
"Look, darling, I meant to get last year's anniversary off, but-"
"Save it, Riddle," Grim somehow managed to get his sniffle to carry over the fighting. "All you care about is work!"
"It's the only way to afford the lifestyle I want to give you! I want to clothe you in finery the Queen of Hearts could only dream of!"
"If only I could believe that was true, you're only doing this to please your mother."
"I'm not old!" Vil suddenly shouted, as one of the wrestling duos hit the table too hard and caused it to collapse.
Grim pushed back a lock of Vil's hair, and smirked. "Is this a gray hair I see?"
"What?" Vil panicked and pulled out his mirror, before tripping over the still sobbing Malleus.
"Little bat, our romance is forbidden,"Lilia whispered into Grim's ear. "But now that you know Malleus is cheating on you, we can run away together! Start our own kingdom elsewhere! We'll be so happy together!"
"Lilia, I am flattered, but I think I should try to make it work with Malleus…"
"What? After all he's done to you? He tore out your heart and gave it to Silver!" Lilia shouted, before pointing at the seat Silver was passed out in. Or used to be passed out in.
"Where did Silver go?" It was the last thing Lilia got out before getting knocked over by a wrestling duo.
….
Silver wandered aimlessly through the NRC halls, trying to clear his head.
"Silver?" He heard from behind him. He turned and saw Jamil, holding a bag of ingredients.
"If you're looking for, well, everyone, they're baking in Heartslaybul. I'm headed there right now with more flour of you want to come."
Silver nodded, figuring some baking would help him relax. When they arrived he saw you, the first years, Trey, Cater, Ruggie, Kalim and Ortho, all baking in harmony.
"Trey, I brought Silver and the flour you texted for- Kalim! What are you doing here!" Jamil's calm voice turned into panicked yelling.
"What do you mean?" Kalim's asked, all confused. But Jamil was already shoving him out the door.
"You're supposed to be at…that thing. Remember? We talked about it?"
"Oh yeah! The thing where grikahzj" Jamil covered Kalim's mouth as they both stepped out the door.
"Well, since Kalim is gone, you can help me with kneading the dough, Silver," you said with a bright smile.
Silver smiled softly, and nodded, before joining you at your station.
….
Epilogue
One week later
"Darling! I'm the headmaster, I can't just take off because our anniversary happens to be in the middle of a school week! You said you understood that when we got married!"
"You told me you were fine that I had a career in fashion! You know I think you are more beautiful than any model, why are you jealous now?"
Grim simpered in his seat, taking a sip of his apple juice, before saying in his Y/N voice, "I think we should see other people. Happy anniversary."
"No!"
....
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