About Ten Years Ago I Decided That The Next Step I Needed To Take In My Life Was To Accept And Explore

About ten years ago I decided that the next step I needed to take in my life was to accept and explore what it meant to be a failure and to have failed. This infuriated almost everybody in my life and clearly terrified a lot of people. People do not want you to accept failure. They dont want you to like... Sit with and think about it and pick it up and turn it arpund in your hands and really examine it. They want you to keep throwing yourself against the impossible walls until your body explodes! They do not want you to say "alright then, I've failed. What does that mean for me? Im still here. What does the life of someone who has failed look like?"

This makes people very angry and panicky.

My mental health improved in ways it had not in the previous DECADE once I stopped. And. Sat. With failure. And thought about what my failure ... Was. And looked at the structures that produced it and examined them critically.

It is so taboo to fail and admit it openly and talk about it. It is so taboo to talk about or think about failure in an accepting way rather than hiding it shamefully until you experience a degree of success in some area which allows you to present the past failure as "a stepping stone" to your current situation. Fuck that. We are put in positions of guaranteed failure by society every day and then punished and shamed for it. Lets fucking talk about failure

it makes me sad to see so many non-ADHD allistic neurodivergent people be shocked when they find out they do in fact "count" as neurodivergent (or even autistic or adhd people who are shocked to find out their other things Count as neurodivergent) bc they have been convinced by online communities that only ADHD and autism (and maybe anxiety) are neurodivergencies

Thinking today about a post I saw some time ago about how wearing glasses shouldn't be considered a disability because it's "socially acceptable" and also about how I haven't been able to update my prescription for 2 years because I just cannot afford an optometrist visit or new frames.

I understand the impulse to say bad vision doesn't count because glasses are such a normal part of our society we don't even think of them as a disability tool anymore, bur the fact is if something happens to my glasses, I am Fucked. I can't drive. I can barely do everyday tasks. Working is going to be impossible. Even if I scrounge the money to get new frames, I have to wait WEEKS for them to arrive. And what happens to me in that time frame? Nothing good, I can tell you that. I literally need this tool to function on a daily basis, because my vision is bad enough to seriously disrupt my life without them.

If anything, glasses are a great example of what society could be if we took MORE disability seriously. If we had actual tools so readily available and normalized you saw them everywhere. But that doesn't make me not disabled, because the minute I lose access to that tool, I can't function.

with adhd/autism it's funny like. people will call you weird all your life, people will bully you for your "outlandish" behaviour, people will criticize literally everything you do as "not normal", BUT THE SECOND YOU GET DIAGNOSED (or suggest you might have it) they're like "huh what but you're so normal, you're literally the most normal person I've ever seen, you're literally so normal and absolutely nothing is wrong with you? why would you have that now all of a sudden???"

when people put "trigger warning" on their content without specifying what the trigger warning is for

everything ends :( :)