Alphy Has Had Mono's Blood On His Hands On Multiple Occasions, But It's A Different Feeling Altogether

Alphy has had Mono's blood on his hands on multiple occasions, but it's a different feeling altogether when he was the one who hurt nem.

He'd do literally anything for nem, so when he hurts nem, he does a damn good job of it.

Mono: Hey, I know this is usually something that you don't want to have happen, but it is a thing where you revive dead party members via resurrection magicks. Do you think it'd be hot to, like, stab me in the throat and then pump me full of Egeiro and then Taurochole or whatever?

Alphy, trying to hide his erection: Absolutely not. I'm not doing that. You cannot get me to do that. *Is going to be thinking about that forever now*

Twitter (2020) VS the Hays code (1930)

And some Mono/Alphy/Estinien because I'm also thinking about them.

Mono, being a Lalafell, is very easy to pick up. But ne is also a solid 65 ponzes.

Yes, Estinien uses nem as a projectile, and usually his target is Alphinaud. Mono finds it hilarious. Alphinaud does not.

Mono also likes to be picked up and have them both squish nir face into their pecs because uhhhhh boobies.

You know, I've been writing a lot of fics where Alphy absolutely rails Mono, but I have a little fic idea tumbling around in my head where it's just him and Saie hanging out in the new manor after Mono finished building it, and being too scared to go into the basement because of an ominous red glow and a horrific noise neither one of them can describe.

"You know, there isn't a zero per cent chance that Mono has a voidsent in there."

It's literally just the boiler.

And later Mono's like, "I'm so glad you two are getting along, but you're both the dumbest people I've ever met. Also, luv, your immigration papers are down there, and I'm not getting them out for you. Good luck, ya baby."

Mono: *Decks the house out with magitek*

Alphy and/or Saie: "WHAT IS THIS?"

There literally isn't anything funnier than them losing their minds over a toaster oven.

house rules, by rachel sontag

Okay, so it's been established that when Estinien was unconscious and on bed rest after he was saved from Nidhogg, Alphinaud was at his bedside for literal days. Annoying the fuck out of him.

I keep imagining a scenario where their roles are reversed, where Alphinaud is on bed rest for whatever reason and Estinien is overly concerned and constantly at his side.

And Alphinaud reaches out for him. "Estinien?"

"Yes?"

"You're so..."

"Yes?"

"Annoying."

Cue Estinien being pissed but also it's his fault because even when Alphinaud is down for the count, he still picks on him.

It keeps making me cry laugh.