Should I Or Should I Not Procrastinate, Do Absolutely Nothing And Plot The Murder Of My Annoying Professors

Should I or should I not procrastinate, do absolutely nothing and plot the murder of my annoying professors all while dreaming about my favourite fictional character ?

***THE FINAL GAMBIT SPOILERS FOR LITERALLY THE WHOLE BOOK*** LONG POST

yeah im a big fat liar. im not waiting until tmrw to share my thoughts bc too much is going on in my brain so here:

* feel free to comment and disagree but pls be respectful *

so tobias hawthorne was actually — hm…. he was not a good man. he was human though. he cared about the boys (??) to some extent. their relationship is definitely super complicated but i will never forgive him for putting the family through so much torment. for constantly making grayson feel like he wasn’t enough. for making the jameson and grayson feel so guilty for emily dying. i will never forgive him. but he was right in choosing avery because my girl can do anything. i love her character growth. i love her character in general. she has been through so much, but she has always persisted and pushed forward (something her mom gave her :’) ). the way she cares for every single hawthorne brother, the way she cares for her sister, the way she cares for oren, the way she loves jameson, the way she told grayson he was enough when he was hurting so badly, the way she finnesses those last three chess games and won. the way she was there for rebecca (she calls her bex guys. im crying) after constantly being belittled and ignored by her own mother and after seeing eve, the way she was there for xander when talking about his father, the way she (finally, it took her so long, still a bit salty but…) is protecting alisa from now on, the way she is so strong and caring. your honor, i love avery grambs. i love her so much. her character growth >> unmatched. seeing her blossom into this beautiful young woman was so heart touching.

the mystery itself was so good in my opinion. i felt like the writing was great, as always, and i really felt like the timing of the mystery, the timing of the events flowed so nicely. it was just so well-written in my opinion. the twists and turns kept me on the edge of my seat. at times, i got so confused, i think i’m too stupid to understand some aspects LMAO but besides that i was left floored. everytime i thought i knew something, jlb said “no, you don’t know anything”. i never expected mallory laughlin to be involved in anyway. my heart definitely broke for her after finding out she had basically been groomed, and was treated so poorly by liam (truly evil, i’m glad he’s passed on). i think i got really confused where the patents were concerned, but it kind of cleared up for me later. also, the set up for the mysteries? the satchel, the usb, the steamer, the way every item revealed itself to be needed was so so good and so well done in my opinion. that scene where avery is underwater in the pool?? the diamond chess set?? the chandelier basically telling them “don’t trust anyone” and the USB???? THE VOICE RECORDING TOBIAS LEFT THEM?? it hurt the boys so much, but i hope it gave them some kind of clarity and maybe even some comfort hearing his voice again. i know they were so destroyed after seeing their grandfather wasn’t the amazing man he made himself out to be. but the plot twists were so good. i expected eve to be bad, i just kind of assumed, but damn was she like really in on it. the way avery confronted her in the laughlin’s cottage, and her acting all shy and innocent girl stfu i was pissed. even more pissed at grayson for reacting that way to avery and telling her that she doesn’t “know her”. he genuinely broke my heart after that, but the scene in the church explained a lot of reasons why he acted that way towards eve. also him putting his arm around her near the pool? disgusting. him calling her “evie”, bro actually what is going on here on this day because i know you two haven’t known eachother long enough for that. i threw up in my mouth. but i think eve knew the effect she had on grayson. she knew. avery even said in chapter eleven. she knew she was grayson’s weak spot and manipulated him. i hate her guts so much. there’s something so evil in the laughlin’s blood (not my sweet rebecca though i love her sm). but i love the way the william blake poem was used. i had no idea it would be so significant when reading the hawthorne legacy. i’m still upset that toby is going to be with blake. i really thought he would be free at the end of this. i thought that was the whole point, but i feel like with alisa being taken and grayson trading himself in, the sheffield grayson story, and the remains of liam kind of overshadowed toby? i’m so sad for him. he deserved to be free and with avery. it broke my heart when he said avery had so much of her mother in her, and when they were playing chess like old times. toby deserved better.

mentioning alisa, oh my god. the way not one of the brothers, not oren, not libby, not even avery thought to protect alisa. WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED THERE. LIKE ACTUALLY. my girl busted her ass getting avery back to hawthorne house in the hawthorne legacy. she has been loyal to the will, to avery, since day one. she even says that’s why her and nash didn’t work out. she did what nash wouldn’t do. i have so much respect for alisa, truly. i’m glad avery finally recognized what alisa has done for everyone. i’m glad alisa also recognizes avery is an adult, and is allowing her to make her own decisions. alisa deserved that protection though. i will stand by that. the gasped i gusped when it was revealed to be alisa in the photo, unconscious. if anything happened to her i would never forgive jlb. also when eve pulled the gun on avery? MMMMMM I WAS INFURIATED. i genuinely thought she was going to shoot avery, or even oren. thank god i was wrong. i’m also glad grayson overheard everything eve was saying because i was getting tired of him defending her. and the way oren and avery have like a father daughter thing going?? when he gave her that Dad look?? that Paternal look. CRYING. CRYING SO MUCH. don’t even talk to me about nash and avery’s relationship and the way he hugged her and held her tight (idk which chapter, maybe 13,14? maybe 15) but yeah. and they way he calls her “kid”. AND AVERY AND XANDER’s relationship. the way she hugged him and was there for him when he met his father. 

AVERY AND BEX??? the way she comforted her in the tunnels. the way she bumped her shoulder to say im here when her mom was demeaning her. 

speaking of bex. i cried for her when she kept getting mistreated by her mother. that word doesnt even begin to describe it. mallory pretended like rebecca wasn’t her daughter. like emily was the only child she ever had. emily is dead and yet rebecca is still constantly compared to emily. and the way mallory was so open to eve? so open to answer her questions but when rebeccca asked them? she was vicious. my heart broke for her. i’m so glad she has avery, thea, and the hawthornes. she belongs with them. and im so glad she’s gotten out of her shell and started living unapologetically. she deserves the world. 

also the scene in the maze with mr laughlin?? when he says rebecca had her mother’s mind. ugh. that scene got to me so much.  

i feel like im leaving out so much but tbh im lowkey forgetting everything that happened im sorry 

libbynash??? UMM I LOVE THEM. the way he said he picture libby with a girl. PLUS THEIR POSSIBLE ENGAGEMENT?? THE CUPCAKE TRUCK???? UGHHGURG OhrGOUHE I CANT

i feel like in the final gambit the dynamic and love between avery and the hawthornes is so so prevalent. they truly are a family. the way they would do anything for one another. the way the brothers are avery’s everything. their dynamic is so sweet. the found family thing hits so hard here. it makes me tear up just thinking about it bc they love each other so so much. they were meant for each other. the countdown scene to avery’s inheritance??? the games they played and LOOK JUST LOOK: 

 THEY ARE SUCH A FAMILY. 

in regards to jameson and graysons relationship… i felt like they didn’t really get a  bro moment like in thl? there were definitely moments between the two and i think jameson going with grayson to find eve was huge. i hope in the  b&n edition their brotherly dynamics are there and theyre doing good. emily wrecked them and she’s so vapid and horrible for it. the way her name was still mentioned in this book in addition to eve, her lookalike just made my blood boil. 

the way jameson jumped off the cliff emily did…and that’s how he got his scar. yeah i started crying. i was not expecting that. i wasn’t expecting him to have compared himself with grayson either, and mainly bc emily loved grayson, chose grayson, in the end, and that’s why it hurt him so much to see avery still feel something for gray. my heart shattered for him there. but he was so attentive to avery in this book. i’ll say this, i’ll always say this, i mourn what could’ve been for averygrayson. i truly do. i’ll always wish it was explored more, that maybe if there wasn’t a nine month time gap between thl and tfg, they could’ve ended up together. but i’m happy for avery and jameson. they clearly love each other so much. so much like oh my god. i like jameson so much more now. we definitely got to see a different side to him i feel like. and before people say im unloyal or im going to the dark side im not okay im an averygrayson girl at heart but i can appreciate the love avery and jameson have for one another. 

ughhh :(((

now the wine cellar scene….. omfg. I CRIED. the way grayson never felt like enough, and still didn’t in this book. listen, you can not like grayson, i know lots of people don’t, but i don’t think i could bear people hating on his character after this book. jlb tore his heart out. i didn’t like how he was with eve, i hated it, i hated how he lashed out at avery because of it. and though its not an excuse, he was hurting so much. he was hurting so much more than i thought he was. he was disinherited, he gave up, stepped back from avery for his brother, and still did in this book. i didn’t like how he didnt call avery for the months he was apart but it was because of the wine cellar scene. he felt so guilty, so worthless, so undeserving of averys attention. its so hard to learn yourself that you are enough, to believe yourself that you are enough. i don’t blame grayson for not believing avery when she told him he was. its so hard. and for nineteen plus years he was always the one who had to keep it together, who was expected to do the best, to lead, to be the arrogant, detached heir and do things logically. when emily died, his grandfather blamed him for it. he said if he’d only put family first, she’d be alive. and i know grayson was just devastated. the fact that he admitted how much he was hurting, and how it hurt all the time. i just want to cry. and he acted that way with eve because he hoped she would be avery. he wanted avery, still. but avery wasn’t available was she? no. but eve was. and it was easier for him to lust after eve because of emily. because of her looks. he was still so weak when it came to emily. i didn’t understand. i never thought he was still in love with her, but i was wrong. i truly truly wanted a happy ending for him. i don’t really know where he stands right now. and the way he said emily made him feel like he would never be able to love a real person after her death? until avery? yeah. im a wreck. even avery says there couldve been something, but it had shattered when emily huanted him. i think that began after the explosion. i think the explosion brought all of his hurt to the surface, and he never really healed from it. im really sad jlb decided to do grayson like this. i really am. the one book we get more of him in, he’s so emotionally hurt and wrecked. im sad that we don’t really know how he is either? i know he is finally over emily. he allows himself to be human. but what now? where is my smiling grayson?? grayson with jameson?? where?? is he over avery? i think so? i don’t know. i better see a smiling, happy grayson in the b&n edition or else i’m suing. i need his happiness, his healing. i hope people cut him some slack. ive seen a lot of people take his actions towards eve as an excuse to finally say he’s always been a bad guy but completely brush over the emotions he dealt with and things he confessed. please don’t do that. it’s not hard. it’s right in front of you, in literal writing. if you can understand jamesons trauma and projections, you can surely understand graysons right? anyways. yeah. i wanted better for gray. :( i’ll never get over how sad he was in this book. i need a spin off book of him working on the charity and enjoying life.^^ also!! im so glad he’s working on the charity. i know that was the only thing he had left in tig and felt like the only thing he had control over, and then he went to college :( but im happy for him now bc it seemed like he realy cared for the foundation and giving to charities to thats a bright side 

ALSO GRAY PLAYS THE VIOLIN?? AND HAS A FRANK SINATRA LIKE VOICE???? SCREAMINGNGNfr hes so hotanyways yeah :”) 4.5/5 stars for me. i might reread this series in october for like a fall mystery and im sure things will like click better if that makes sense and bc i want to read everything unfold in order. sad this series is over though :( but i hope jlbs new book has something to do with it!!!!!

Twitter and tiktok are like a coral reef

It’s loud and bright and productive and glamorous. It’s fast-paced and things cycle through the environment in hours. Everyone is trying to fight for their position in the food chain and stay Relevant. There are lots of pretty things to look at. If something gets Popular it has an impact on everything around it, for a brief time until the next big thing arrives. To an outside observer it’s chaos but to those involved it has order, reason, a Purpose.

Tumblr is like a deep-sea ecosystem.

Things are slow and weird. Memes bounce around for years and even decades. People exist in their little isolated hydrothermal vent communities of mutuals. Sometimes something big happens (suez canal, November 5th, Queen Lizzie kickin’ it) and we all gather around like a whale fall but for the most part we’re just snootling around in the sand doing whatever the fuck. Occasionally someone comes down and shines their flashlight around and immediately leaves and tells their friends about what freaky shit we have going on in the depths. We don’t care. We’re very busy talking about Our Friend Jonathan from a book published in the 1800s like worms slowly digesting the bones of a long-dead organism.

Of all the Married™ things that Loid does, this is the most Married™ of all. The way he just meets Yor's intensity with no real idea why. It's just like, "My wife is very happy and needs me to get on her level" and he's going to do it. Even if he's still really confused about the whole situation.

It’s nice to see that many people are actually beginning to get over the whole “Gojo is a fuckboy” and shit that people had going for the 1st season, but there is a big lack of what Gojo is then that I don’t see people talking about.

Like, in the show he is considered the strongest and a blessing and all that, but to his core, Gojo is a lover; and no, I don’t mean that (completely) romantically. 

To those that are in his care and that “control him” (the higher ups) consider his abilities a blessing, but to himself, he considers himself the most cursed person on the planet; remember what he said to Yuta, “love is the most twisted curse of them all.” Because Gojo loves those around him even if he doesn’t try to, because he is human, he is a person and people love without trying to.

That’s why he will never be “free” from the curse he is placed under by the universe, and why he will always be “on top” and “unstoppable” - because love makes one stronger; but in Gojo’s case, he doesn’t want to be stronger, yet is forced to be.

Gojo will forever be the problem, because no matter what he does, he can’t not love others.

It’s his love for his students, his bffs, his teacher, his coworkers, everyone, that is driving the plot forwards; because if he didn’t love any of them, he wouldn’t be there, and the curses wouldn’t be as strong as they are. 

I honestly think that, spoilers, but if Gojo knew what would end up happening in the future because of his existence, I almost truly believe, he would have allowed Toji to kill him back when he had the chance to die; sure, he would be petty and go out joking n shit, but he would go out knowing he saved so many people from what he was going to bring upon them by just purely loving them.

But, he didn’t know that, and instead, he lived; his love for wanting to live and wanting to just meet his friends again was his motivation - once again, it is legit love that drove Gojo to fully go crazy and become the strongest there ever was, and he didnt realize before years later.

He didn’t realize his mistake until the people he loved went spiraling; and he had no way to help, because how could he? He was the reason they did so afterall.

After Geto decided to dip on Jujutsu high, Gojo tried to do things differently. He tried isolating himself, but couldn’t and so came up with a better idea of trying to not get overly attached to just one(1) person and instead spread it out so no one felt pressured by his love to go over the edge like Geto did 

But we all know that ended terribly too, because it wasn’t because of the pressure of the love that was the problem, it was the love itself - Gojo’s love was the problem.

What I find kinda funny about Gojo actually is how his own words about something that was basically meant to others - “love is the most twisted curse of all” - describes himself more than it describes others.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

An appreciation post for my girl 😊