[2:25 AM]

[2:25 AM]

The fresh bedsheets are cold but your skin is burning hot, cheeks flushed and tear stained. Normally, this would be a happy ending. The night would stop here, the day would come, you would go and Minho would pretend it didn't happen until the next time it did.

That was okay with you, it made things easier. You didn't want him to act any different for your sake; both of you agreed to this arrangement, and there were clear rules set out in bold text, underlined in red.

There were lines there so you would not cross them, and yet here you are. In his bed, staring up at the ceiling with an ache in your chest from your heavy heart, weighed down with unwanted thoughts and feelings.

His soft snoring echoes throughout the otherwise silent room, and it makes the walls seem taller and the distance between your bodies that much larger. It makes you feel vunerable. It makes you feel weak.

How could you have let it get to this point? You knew before you went into this that it could never go too far. The deal was there would be no strings attached, and you could leave whenever you felt like it.

Except you couldn't. You wanted to leave, wanted to tell him this deal wasn't working and you needed more, you needed him. You wanted nothing more than to be spending these nights cuddling instead of drowning your stupid feelings in a couple shots of whatever cheap liquor was in your glass and pretending you were only in love with his body.

More tears fall, dripping against his pillowcase.

You wish your feelings would do the same, just drip away until there's nothing left, but instead your mind feels full to the brim with 'what if's that you know are all painfully pointless. He doesn't feel the same. He doesn't care, he'll never care, it doesn't even matter...but what if-

"Y/N?" Minho's sleepy voice breaks you out of your thoughts, an arm reaching blindly towards your curled up figure to pull you against him. "Why are you still awake?"

You don't trust your voice enough to give a proper response right now, so you simply hum and let him hold you like it means anything to him.

He doesn't seem to mind, though, drifting off to sleep again minutes later.

His arms are wrapped around you and his body is so warm, but you've never felt colder in your life.

mood: confused  

[2:27 PM]

“baby...” he whispers, eyes wide in awe and mouth open in a small ‘o’. he turns to face you and you see the shine of tears in his pretty eyes.

“happy birthday, binnie. I love you so much and I’d have given you the entire world today if I could’ve, but that wasn’t an option so I hope this will suffice.” you joke, lacing your fingers with his and tilting your head with a big smile.

the room is dim, the only light coming from the array of scented candles you set out earlier. on the table in front of you sits your present for your dear boyfriend:

a scrapbook filled with photos from your years together - before you started dating as well as after - each with a small handwritten message describing what you treasure about each memory; what you treasure about him. decorated with real dried flowers and gold leaf, the whole thing radiates some type of soft vintage glow. as he flicks through the pages and reads the notes, his hold on your hand grows tighter until eventually he pulls you into a big hug.

“this is so...you- how long did it take? there’s years worth of photos in here.” he asks, words muffled by your hair.

“I don’t actually know, ‘cause it felt like I got drawn into each memory as I went through them all. I feel like I’ve always had you by my side...you’re so warm, you know?”

you hear him sniffle but a soft laugh escapes him anyway and he moves back to look at you. he scoffs, shaking his head.

“is that all I am to you? a sentient heat pack? a glorified hot water bottle, even on my birthday?” he clutches his chest dramatically with one hand and sighs. “and all this time I thought you loved me for who I was inside.”

you both break out into laughter, but you hug him again and whisper your next words against his neck.

“I didn’t mean physically warm. I just meant everything - your smile, your laugh, even the way you cry so easily-” he whines, smacking your arm, and you giggle. “everything about you radiates warmth and light. even if you do dress like emo me in high school.”

he doesn’t respond because he can’t find the right words to tell you just how much he adores you, and how all that warmth you find in him is reflected in your own heart.

it’s okay, though. you know exactly how he feels; words can’t accurately describe your love for him either.

all you know is that this moment - warm in his arms on his birthday, memories and happiness dancing around the room in the form of flickering candlelight - is perfect.

👁️   👁️

yoongi literally stating taehyung is both attractive and handsome

damn he really do be beautiful