Before You Leave

Before You Leave

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

Prompt: "unrequited love, in which i just poured my heart out to you, telling you i love you and you said that you don’t feel the same way, and then you leave, and i’m standing here, not sure what to do, i can’t even cry that’s how shocked and heartbroken i am"

Word Count: 812

Warnings: i cried while writing this so take that as you will

a/n: it's 5 am and i refuse to beta read this so it could be hot trash we'll see

You weave your way through the massive crowd bustling through the hangar to your friends, sidestepping BB-8 as you approach Poe.

“Hey, can we talk?” you ask, gently placing your hand on his forearm. “Before you leave?”

“Yeah, of course,” he says, following you out of the expansive space, through a few passageways, and into your quarters. The two of you dodge frantic runway techs and pilots on your way - the main hallway is rather busy, people running back and forth helping to prepare the Falcon. After all, this was the mission. The be-all-end-all.

“I’m not sure what’s going to happen when you leave,” you start as you cross the threshold into your room, picking up a sweater from your bed and pulling it on to have something, anything to do with your hands. He nods, understanding the massive collection of anxious feelings that were most likely trying to find their ways into your mind. He always felt the same way before you left - panic about if you’d return, then the numbness that would set if you were even an hour late returning. “And I just needed to tell you something - to prepare for the worst happening.” Your hands are trembling at this point, and he takes them in his, concerned.

“Is everything ok?” he asks, brows knitting together with concern. You smile tightly at him, nodding.

“Yeah, I just- I’ve been thinking a lot about being honest with people lately - you know, what with the large probability that we could, well, die soon,” you say, clearing your throat nervously, and he nods. “And there’s something that I haven’t been very honest with you about.” Your heart races, thumping against your ribcage so hard you swear he can hear it. If someone had given you a cup of water to hold right now, it would be sloshing all over the floor. “I love you,” you blurt out, not knowing how else to say it other than quickly, without allowing any chance for interruption. You glance up at him, relief bursting in your chest as he smiles.

“I love you too, Y/N,” he says warmly. “You mean so much to me. So much.” You smile, thanking every god you can think of. “But you tell me that all the time - was there something else?” he asks, confused.

You kick yourself inwardly. Of course.

“No, I know that we say that a lot, like we care about each other, but I love you, Poe. I’m in love with you.” Knowing that if you stop now, you’ll probably never speak again, you continue on, hands still shaking like a leaf. “I love how passionate you are about flying, and how you always check on me if you know that I’ve had a bad day, and I love the way you always wake me up early to watch the sunset with you, and I just didn’t want to let you leave without telling you. Because I feel like you might feel the same way, and I’m not letting myself lose that. Not now. Not with you.” You look back up at him hopefully, a smile daring to tilt your lips upward.

Your stomach drops as you take in the look of bewilderment on his face.

“Are you sure?” he asks, pulling his hands from yours. You swallow thickly, nodding. “I don’t know what to say, Y/N, I’m sorry, but I just don’t feel the same way. I love you as a friend, but nothing more. I’m sorry.”

“Oh,” you say, face heating with shame. How could you be so stupid? “That’s ok,” you say, tucking your hands to your sides as a knot ties in your stomach. “I’m sorry,” you murmur, looking down at the floor. The shining tile reflects your fallen face back at you. Mockery at its finest.

“It’s fine,” he responds, his harsh tone slapping you across the face and leaving you breathless, a sharp pain taking root in your chest. Motioning to the door, he says, “I need to go.”

“Please comm me as soon as you get somewhere safe,” you call out after him, but you look up to find that he’s already left.

You aren’t sure how long you stand there, but by the time you draw on enough resolve to leave your quarters, Poe is long gone, taking any hope of reconciliation with him.

You want the tears to come, but they refuse to surface. It would be easier if you could be mad, find some fiber of your being that resents him now. But you can’t - how could you? Poe was good. Caring, kind, considerate beyond belief. Loyal.

Beautiful.

Shivering, you wrap your sweater tighter around yourself and walk to the door. You can't bear to talk to anyone right now.

As you close your door, you feel another one shut hundreds of parsecs away.

taglists:

permanent: @staarshines

poe: @zoriis @obiwns

✵ fav skz choreo ✵

mvs: hellevator//voices//levanter//back door

I think all content creators can relate to this.

In my opinion, I don’t think followers really understand how much your requests/likes/reblogs/etc. and random asks mean to me. It’s just so refreshing and nice to know that people enjoy what I’m doing and support me.

People that go the extra mile and send an ask or message letting me know they liked my stuff honestly makes my day. I love reading tags and stuff…it’s honestly so cute….

And people who ask about how I’m doing or send me random questions or cute asks….I just want you guys to know it honestly makes my day. I just love all the interaction and such. It makes running a blog so much more enjoyable.

And Fanart/Fanwork? Honestly that’s one of the greatest things to receive. To everyone that draws or writes, please don’t feel too insecure to send it end! No one is going to criticize you over quality. It’s so sweet that you even thought about making something…I will always appreciate it no matter what, and I’m sure all other content creators feel the same.

So, in conclusion, don’t be afraid to talk to your favorite blogs and show them some love, guys! We always appreciate it! ☺️

Lisa - "Ice Cream" MV

✵ fav skz choreo ✵

mvs: hellevator//voices//levanter//back door

idk man, i just wanna write a fic that someone reads obsessively at 3am. a fic that someone loses sleep to finish because just one more chapter and tries to give multiple kudos. a fic that people will leave a comment on every chapter. i want to write a fic that people will recommend to others, that they think nails the characterization and relationship dynamic. i want to write someone’s comfort fic, someone’s favorite fic, or someone’s fic they read when they want to re-read something. i want to be that fic writer. i want to write that fic.