Its A Chilly Autumn Morning. You Are Snuggled In Bed, Vaguely Aware Of A Rhythmic Pattering On Your Roof,

it’s a chilly autumn morning. you are snuggled in bed, vaguely aware of a rhythmic pattering on your roof, and dim cool light in your room. you fall back to sleep, dreaming of nothing but warmth and comfort. you awaken again, a few seconds before a a soft rumbling of thunder sounds. you have nothing to do today but listen and enjoy

Hate your love

when you said you liked my curls,

i spent hours

straightening them out.

you complimented

the calm blue of my nails,

so i painted them a fiery red.

then the skirts left my knees bare,

unlike the denim that kept them warm

before you said i looked good in jeans.

and the day your fingers tied

the laces of my high tops,

i replaced them with stilettos,

the heels as sharp as my tongue

slipping poison onto yours.

i didn't mind when your hands

grazed the flesh of my cheek;

after all, i craved it.

i wanted your lips chasing mine,

needing to stain them

the shade of my new lipstick,

wanted the pads of your fingers leaving icy trails

down the heat of my skin.

i craved your touch,

but i resented your affection.

with every change i made,

i swore to never be

what you wanted me to.

entangled in my fabrications,

deceived by a false sense of control,

little did i know,

that you had me

exactly where you wanted me.

i couldn't recognize myself anymore

and you loved every part of me.

“maybe i can find myself in another realm because i sure as hell have lost myself in this one”

- drunk thoughts // a.c

Curious Fear

i'm dreading it

i can't wait

i want time to slow down

i want it to hurry up

Future holds me in her hand

the strands of my hair

entwined around her fingers

and my feet glued to her palm.

i stray to Past sometimes

longing for her knowing embrace;

the comfort of her certainty.

but my hair only reaches my waist,

and the hands of the clock move fast.

so I look through the gaps,

watching the Sun

plunge below the horizon,

hiding its colours except

a pitying pink trail in the sky.

the following darkness is unbearable

until the Moon proudly shows off

it's blemishes in monochrome.

yet if their beauty were measured,

the scales would be left balanced.

i crave more,

hoping a new sight will find me through the spaces.

i look on with curious fear,

not knowing what shades of the sun

will paint the clouds tomorrow,

and which leaves will bathe in silver moonlight.

or if any of it will happen at all.

curling my body

into the ridges of her palm,

my lashes entangle to welcome sleep.

it comes with dreams of warm orange,

cold grey and midnight skies.

sometimes the only positive thing you can say about what’s going on is that time is still going, at more or less the same pace it ever was. everything changes eventually, and your situation won’t stay the same

I should have left

when the kisses moved from my lips to my cheeks.

I should have left

when the warm hugs

turned into quick brushes.

I should have left

when a cold shoulder replaced

the one I leaned on.

When a few words

sparked arguments

and hour long silences,

I should have turned my back on you.

But I didn't

And that's my mistake to bear.

You were bitter

so, so bitter,

but your sweet aftertaste

had me coming back for seconds

and more.

I should have left when

my name on your lips stopped sounding like music

and your eyes

no longer held all the stars

in the night sky.

I should have left you

the moment we fell out of love.