@shadowsung : Was It Worth What It Cost?

@shadowsung : “ was it worth what it cost? ”

rhysand has had many nights to contemplate it: the safety of his family, velaris still unscathed. for the price of his freedom, his dignity. all of the carnage he'd witnessed, the suffering he had to inflict — packed into those fourty-nine years, were enough to haunt him for the rest of whatever he has left. what did it really cost? he's unable to even look himself in the mirror, without feeling utter disgust. there is a monster that stares back now, of shadows & bloodshed. he can still feel the ghost of her claws, reminded of them every time someone dares to utter his newfound nickname: amarantha's whore. after everything, every sacrifice, even when he's gone ... that is all he will be remembered as.

the rebelling illyrian camps were the first to whisper of his time under the mountain, that his brother's had heard. whatever bodies weren't turned into red mist, now laying at their feet. he had no desire to reminisce, even if he knew this weren't the last they would hear of it. not when they had so many bands to still deal with. yet he doesn't hesitate, features void of any expression, gaze set on the massacre. " yes. there was no other way. "

he crafts a clear image over the bond, ( waves crashing, gulls singing. toned muscles, covered in illyrian swirls, exposed from the torso up. glistening in the mist, the rest of him consumed by the sea, at peace. fingers slick back dripping strands, face tilting to soak up the sun as he wades through the water … ) watching as it consumes feyre’s thoughts, head tilting into hand. a small shrug as it finishes, mischievous grin slipping onto cat-like features. “ sparing you from drooling in front of everyone again, is more like it. “

he glances down at his drink, before finishing it of, neglecting the empty glass at the side table. “ i’m clearing my head. “ whether it be the liquor, or her: it’s worked. any thoughts of jealousy have slipped away, the notion of being simply a distraction now seems better than nothing. if that all he were ever to be for her, he would understand why. he is not something worth loving, a monster by creation. his life isn’t a fairytale, like perhaps the spring court seemed to be. she would never be his blushing bride — would only be hunted & killed. everything eventually gets taken from him. to be only a distraction … he can live with that.

“ ah? is that what you think? “ he takes note of how her cheeks warm up, despite the feigned confidence. circles in on it like prey, challenging it with every step towards her until she is cornered between him & his desk. if only she knew — how tortuous this chase truly were, how much uncertainty it caused. even now, as rhysand tilts her chin up, star stained gaze heavy onto hers, he has not a clue where he truly stands. “ by all means, feyre darling, be cruel. “

i gave him the benefit of the doubt, trusting him to be forthcoming enough from here on out, lest he wished to be tackled into the snow again. i knew how much he carried, so the rest of us didn’t have to. he spent so much time and energy pretending he was okay, i wondered if he knew how easy it had become to read right through him. how his subtle nuances and changes in demeanor felt so familiar to me now. the secret language we shared every time our eyes met. i took a small sip of what was left in my own glass, the liquid courage still running through my veins.

“ are you scared of getting your hair wet? ” i cocked my head to the side, in a poor attempt to distract from the way my heart began racing loudly — i didn’t dare to move from my perch on his desk, in case he could already hear it. “ for someone supposedly working, you’re sure drinking a lot. ” i felt my own cheeks flush, as i became dreadfully aware of his predatory gaze, as he turned the power of his full attention on me. swallowing the sudden lump in my throat, i tried not to stare at his lips. this was just reckless and casual flirting, i told myself, boisterous banter with a friend — if that’s what we were. you’d have no idea what to do with yourself. i barely knew how to maintain my composure now, but i could not allow myself to shrink away. not when i wanted it — the adrenaline that rushed through my body each time he looked my way or flexed a single muscle near me. i couldn’t remember the last time i felt more alive than when i was in his presence. “ maybe, ” i conceded, working to keep my voice even and hold his prowling gaze, as if i possessed some newfound level of feigned self-assuredness. “ or perhaps you just enjoy the chase. in which case it would be cruel of me to spoil your fun. ”

#𝑹𝑯𝒀𝑺𝑰𝑬 ─ selective + private writing account for 𝒓𝒉𝒚𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒅, from a court of thorns and roses. 21+ only. plot driven & iconless. written by moose ( they/them, 25, cst. ) hardblock only. 𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒈 ⋆ 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒕𝒔 ⋆ 𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡

the shoe meeting his shoulder is well earned — even with the liquor buzzing through his blood stream, he realizes it's perhaps a little too soon to be making any jokes. ( the horror on her face, before he even announced his presence, as she took only a few hesitant steps down the aisle, replays in his mind. even as all of the guests ran, or hid, as if there were a wolf among them — he could only focus on feyre. the sheer panic, radiating from her. only a fool would be blind to it. it's what urged him to speak up. if he had to play the villain one last time, so be it. )

though he doesn't expect her demands, even more shocked when cassian actually listens. a brow raises, as he turns to face her, halfway out of the car. even with the threat of her leaving, there's a casual coolness to him, as if she were bluffing. " you won't make it even a block in that hideous thing, feyre darling. " words a gentle purr, amusement flickering across his features. it takes a disappointed look from cass in the mirror for his posture to change — sitting up for a hand to wrap around her wrist, whatever is left of his smile slipping away from lips. " get back in the car, please. tamlin has probably already insisted on telling everyone we've kidnapped you. "

@rhysie said: “Suppose I told everyone that I had seduced you.”

“ shut up. ” i smacked him hard on the shoulder with the high heel in my hand, shooting him my iciest glare. the last possible thing i wanted to think about was how terrible it must have looked, leaving my wedding with rhysand — the very man who had so rudely interrupted my nuptials. no, i couldn’t bask in my own traitorous, self-loathing, not when piles of white gossamer and walls of red flowers had been so suffocating and the music seemed to orchestrate my impending death march. all i knew was i had to get out of there, and rhys had presented me with a quick escape. i squeezed my eyes shut and rubbed my temples, trying to block out the image of tamlin, looking so confused and horrified on the other end of the bloody red aisle. the way i quickly ran out the back, the moment the crowd of strangers erupted in chaos, so easily disturbed just by rhys’s mere presence. the moment i had secured my reserved spot in hell.

“ stop the car, ” i demanded, avoiding the puzzled glances from rhys’s bulky driver, who immediately pulled to an abrupt stop. jolting forward, i instinctively grabbed ahold of rhys’s arm, practically flinching as i let go instantly. mistake after mistake. gathering up the incessant layers of fabric of my dress, i shook off my other shoe and kicked the car door open. “ if you’re going to insist on being a drunken ass, then i can surely manage on my own from here. ”

modern rhys has a cat

PROMPTS FOR THE FORCED PROXIMITY TROPE *  assorted dialogue for the moments and circumstances that force two characters to spend time together, adjust as necessary

who said i agreed to any of this?

i said i would help you. i didn't say i would be nice to you while i'm helping you.

you scratch my back and i'll scratch yours.

oh no. don't tell me it's locked.

i was hired to protect you. that's my job.

i'm actually starting to tolerate you, believe it or not.

i don't want to be stuck here with you.

i'll work with anyone but you.

i'm not letting you sleep on the floor.

they're forcing me to work with you and i don't like it.

how long do you think we'll be stuck here?

is that the only tent we have?

i think we're snowed in here. we'd better find a way to stay warm.

it's going to take a few days for them to reach us.

you sleep in that room, and i'll take this one.

you can't get rid of me that easily.

i'm just going to come right out and say it - i hate being here just as much as you do, but we have to make this work.

don't get any ideas.

i'm going to see if they'll switch my room.

until you came along, i had this under control.

if we're going to survive this, we'd better work together.

why did they sit me next to you?

i'd like to be as far away from you as possible.

out of all the people in the world, i had to get stuck with you.

guess you're just gonna have to get over it.

i thought you were worse than this.

i'm not going anywhere, and neither are you.

you're not exactly my favorite person to be around.

well, get used to it. i'm not leaving.

i told them i don't need a bodyguard.

i never wanted to spend this much time with you.

all this time spent together has really opened my eyes.

you're not as bad as i thought you were.

we might as well try to get along.

i guess i should learn a little bit about you.

i think that means we're the only ones left.

there's no way i'm sharing a room with you.

you again? i've seen enough of you already.

i thought [name] was coming. why are you here?

they're counting on us to save them.

since we'll be here for a while... might as well make the best out of it.

i think we can set aside our differences for two minutes and work this out.

honestly, i think i was wrong about you at first.

there's absolutely no way i'm working with you.

fine, but you're sleeping on the floor. i'll take the bed.

as your bodyguard, i'm supposed to stay with you at all times.

i think we're snowed in for a while.

you could always sleep on this side of the bed.

we have to at least pretend we like each other.

the whole point in having a bodyguard is for me to keep you safe.

i don't like asking for your help, but here i am, asking.

you and i are the only ones who can deal with this.

you don't have a say in the matter.

looks like we're stuck here.

just sleep in the bed with me. i'll even make a pillow wall between us.

i'm not sharing a tent with you.

i need you to stay out of my way.

could you at least "guard" me from over there? why do you have to stand so close?