Jp-todd-rp:

jp-todd-rp​:

Jason wanted to leave.

He didn’t want to talk about his mother.

Didn’t want to share how he had witnessed the slow descent from over the counter painkillers into heroin and morphine.

He resisted the urge to get up and leave. And he pushed down his desire to look for another feasible way out. She’d report back to Bruce, and he couldn’t risk Bruce taking away what he had worked so hard for.

So, instead, he found himself shrugging again.

“Dunno,” Jason muttered, still fiddling with the water bottle. “She was in pain a lot. And – normal painkillers didn’t cut it eventually, y'know. She needed stronger stuff to keep going. And that…” Jason trailed off, knowing that she’d pick up on it. Everyone knew what that meant, especially down in the Alley. The streets were riddled with addicts and sob stories like his. And no one cared.

She had hoped it had been something else. Not that there were any pleasant alternatives considering that the woman had died long before she ought to have. 

Leslie didn’t want to delve any deeper, not for a first session, it wouldn’t be fair.

Tightening her face into a grim kind of understanding, she nodded, not wanting to segue without acknowledging  what he had said. “It sounds like you did your best to look after the both of you during a really difficult time.”

Letting the weight of the moment settle slightly, Leslie made another mental note to circle back to this - his parents. It would take some time before he was ready for that, she was sure.  

“Is reading still something you enjoy?”

jp-todd-rp​:

And –

Oh.

Jason licked his lips, looking away. It wasn’t a secret. Hell, Bruce had found him on the streets, for fuck’s sake. He knew his dad died in jail, and knew his mom died because she’d been sick, well before Batman, and he, had crossed paths.

He wouldn’t take Robin away from him over this.

Right?

Jason shrugged, his tone quieting, and he kept his eyes averted. “Mom was sick, you know? Willis was in and out of jail, so someone had to take care of us. I managed just fine.”

Until I didn’t.

Until she died.

Ah. 

It matched with what little Bruce had told her. An orphan, living on the streets when Bruce had found him. But there had been a whole life before the moment Jason had decided to steal the wheels of the Batmobile.

“I’m sure you did.” Leslie agreed honestly. “It sounds like it was a difficult situation to have to deal with.”

Everything about his posture screamed at how uncomfortable he was talking about it. But sometimes feeling uncomfortable brought about good things, and Leslie wasn’t one to shy away from it. 

“What was she like?”

jp-todd-rp​:

Jason didn’t take the glass. Nor did he even consider moving towards it. He watched her sit down in front of him, listened to her opening the door for him to talk and –

“Turns out dying and coming back isn’t as inconsequential as they make it out to be,” Jason began, and he let his gaze drop to his lap. “I – I can’t remember a day when I haven’t been in pain since… then. Sometimes, like now, it’s just… gets worse.”

Like I’m being killed all over again.

It was as if a heavy weight had dropped into the pit of her stomach. She had been hoping harder than she would care to admit that her hunch had been wrong. 

After what happened in Ethiopia... Just the fact that Jason had come back in the first place - well it was all so impossible that - Leslie had just assumed...

He had been in pain the entire time?

“Shit...” Sitting back in the chair, Leslie gave herself a moment. It made perfect sense, yet she hadn’t seen it coming. If it hadn’t of been for Grace, she might never have. Part of her itched to run all the tests she could, to see if she could put whatever it was right. But even if Jason would ever tolerate it, now wasn’t the time. 

Her heart ached for him. He had been alone - dealing with all of this, alone again.

Damn bats...

Leslie’s voice was laced with sadness as she asked him, half knowing the answer already. “You didn’t think this was something worth mentioning to anyone?”

Send a 👫and I’ll write four headcanons I have about our muse’s relationship

nerdybirdboy​:

“Isn’t that why I’m here?” Why else would he be here? Bruce had never made him go to therapy for anything else and he’d seen and been through plenty of stuff. “No, thanks. I’m good.” He wasn’t here to have a snack, this was business. Or at least that was how he saw it. Just like cops had to see a psychologist after firing their gun, he had to see one after the accident to continue to be Robin.

“You know what we do, me and Bruce, so I have that and school, both take their time and once I’m trying to sleep… How should I describe it? I notice a lot of things, details, patterns and so on. It takes time to process it all and I can’t just shut it off and go to sleep. Sometimes I realizes things when falling asleep and need to deal with it before I can sleep. Sometimes I don’t get any sleep for days and that’s when I need help to shut off. That’s all.” Tim knew he was smart and a little different, what he didn’t know was that most people usually didn’t need to process pretty much every detail they had seen that day. “So, yes, that was why I took the pills. I had waited a little too long and lost my ability to properly judge how much I took.” He really hadn’t tried to kill himself.

Tim didn’t like this at all, but he somehow still manged to keep his body language in control and kept himself from fidgeting. This all felt like an invasion of privacy. Even though he knew he decided what to say, which was why he also didn’t mention that nightmares were part of it too.

“Details and patterns.” Leslie repeated thoughtfully, taking a seat in the plush armchair and pulling her notebook into her lap. She was going to need to keep notes for this. Things to circle back to later. Everything he was saying was important, as well as the things he wasn’t saying.

Days without sleep - that was concerning. Realising he had waited too long to take the pills. Misjudging the dosage... He had taken them before. Self-medicating. His sense of responsibility seemed to be beyond that of most fourteen year olds she had met. Not necessarily all of them, given her history of working with Batman, but it was disconcerting all the same.

Tim was sitting so still, looking a little uncomfortable but not so much that Leslie had any inclination he was going to run out on her. So she pressed onwards.

“Details and patterns of what exactly?”

jp-todd-rp​:

Trust Grace to put her mark right on the money. Even though she didn’t quite get just how close to the truth she was getting. “She’s too smart for her own good,” he muttered under his breath, but pride laced his tone.

But the faint smile fell, as Leslie continued.

He could see it.

Grace worrying over him, working herself up over him, and what he’d done. Trying to find an explanation. “I – I’ll put her in too much danger if I tell her. That is… if she even wants anything to do with me for lying to her.” Jason shook his head. “I never should have let it get this far between us, I was an idiot.”

“She’s planning on working as a doctor, in Crime Alley, Jason.” Leslie pointed out. “I’ve had this talk with her, when she started - and again after the bombing. She’s not exactly playing it safe as it is.” While a doctor wasn’t the most dangerous profession someone could go for, in a city like Gotham it certainly came with it’s own set of risks. Leslie had the personal experience to attest to it.

“Grace isn’t shying away from the Red Hood either. Even after everything she knows about him - you.” Talking about Jason as if he were two different people was going to give her a headache, but when it came to Grace, the distinction was there. For now, at least. “These are all choices she's making. And after what happened to her the other week, Gotham can be plenty dangerous all on its own. If you hadn’t have given her that alarm...” Her voice trailed slightly, not wanting to think of what might have happened to her if not for Jason.

“She likes you. And judging by how she is around you when the mask is on, she likes more than just whatever civilian front you’ve put up for appearances sake. Don’t even try telling me it’s not the same for you, or you’d never have let it go on for this long. Even the others have noticed." Leslie wasn’t sure if she should mention the curious questions she had received from the others, Bruce especially who was all too keen to know what his son was up to, but it slipped out all the same.

Realising she had long since ventured into lecture territory, Leslie shrugged, pulling back. “I just think she deserves the option of deciding for herself. A real, informed decision. I think your secret would be safe at this point. She only speaks to me about it because she already knows I know The Red Hood.  And who knows? You might be pleasantly surprised at how things turn out.”