[08:56] | Y.jeonghan

[08:56] | y.jeonghan

you’ve situate yourself of jeonghan’s lap, your front facing him as you nuzzle your face in between the crook of his neck. 

“yes baby ?” jeonghan places his phone down. he ropes his arms around your waist, hoisting you up so that you could be closer to him. 

he knew what you wanted. knew you wanted his attention. though he likes to play dumb, because for some reason, jeonghan loves teasing you. he also loves getting you to be vocal about the things you want. he’ll give you anything you need, all you have to do is ask.

“nothing.” you respond, your voice muffled due to you burying yourself even closer to your boyfriend. if that was humanly possible at this point. 

jeonghan lips curl into a small smirk, knowing damn well that ‘this’ was definitely not ‘nothing’. using his hand, he rubbed small circles on your back. “if it’s nothing, then why are you hugging me like there’s not tomorrow.”

you don’t reply. 

with silence filling the room jeonghan only chuckles. once again, he was right. “c’mon love. tell me what you want and i’ll give it to you.” 

he waits for you, but still. nothing.

you feel his arms loosen around you. “alright, i guess i’ll leave then.” he’s about to peel your arms off him when he hears your whines.

“no stop !” and jeonghan halts mid air.

“go on.”

you sigh, giving into jeonghan’s antics. “fine. i just wanted your attention…”

you feel the same pair of hands wrap themselves back around your waist. his hands cups the back of your head to pull you into his chest as he starts to play around with your hair.

“see. that wasn’t so hard now was it ?”

you lift your head up slightly, just enough to be able to look him in the eye. “i hate you.” but you didn’t mean it, not with the way you rested your head back to his, smiling at the warmth between the two of you.

jeonghan scoffs at your lies. “yeah yeah love you too.” he places a small kiss to the top of your forehead before going back to giving you all the attention you want.

Lover Boy | h.js

pairing ➳ commoner!joshua x aristocrat!fem!reader

genre ➳ regency era romance, historical, drama, slow burn, angst.

word count ➳ 8.3k

warnings ➳ for the sake of plot reader's surname is Jones ( just ignore it), might be historically inaccurate, arguments, some family issues, pressure for marriage, reader is mean at one point, wanted to include smut but it lowkey felt wrong cuz this was the time when showing ankles was scandalous so 🤷‍♀️

synopsis ➳ pining for someone like him is as scandalous as it can be but the heart wants what it wants and your heart wants him.

He's here once again.

You peek through the curtains, watching him park his bicycle before reaching for the bouquet of flowers sitting in the basket. He has brought tulips today, in purple, your mother's favorite.

Your heart thumps rapidly in your chest as you watch him from your hiding spot in your room, behind the curtains. You ingrain his beautiful features in the deepest parts of your brain, taking in each slope and curve with rapt attention.

As if he can feel your gaze burning on him, his head tilts up and he blinks, before recognition flashes in his eyes. He gives you a sweet, almost teasing smile as you've been caught spying on him and you immediately pull the curtains shut, hiding from his eyes.

Yeah, real smooth.

This has become a regular habit for you. Watching this particular man, this flower delivering boy every Friday and Tuesday morning just after breakfast, which you hurry to finish so that you don't miss him.

It's nothing but a harmless crush really, ongoing for about a year. It started on a rainy morning when you were out on the patio, watching the rain when he appeared, riding his bike, almost drenched from the downpour.

You quietly viewed him from your spot, watching as he handed a beautiful basket of roses to your mother before tipping his hat in goodbye and jogging back to his bike. Just as he was about to leave, somehow his eyes landed on you— a bored, quiet yet intriguing look on your face at the same time, and he held your gaze for a good few seconds before smiling at you as if you had known each other forever, before going on his merry way.

Something about that smile changed you from deep within. Whenever you'd close your eyes you would only see him, his crescent eyes, the crinkles around them and his sweet, comforting grin. It haunted you to the point he became your obsession.

You extracted a little information about him from your mother who gave you a strange look. But you couldn't be bothered. You had a frustratingly beautiful fixation.

And so it began. You spying on the flower delivering boy— or a man, given how solid his body looked under the puffy shirt. Days bled into weeks and then into months and your fixation evolved into something more. Something that tugged at your heartstrings, made you memorize every little detail about him which would come to plague your mind in the darkness of the night. Prompt thoughts that, if heard by your mother would put you up for an exorcism by the church.

Being the oldest daughter of the earl comes with both fors and againsts. Fors, being pretty clothes and jewels, carriage rides to fancy parties, respect and admiration from everyone, oh— and good food. That's about it. Againsts, however, there are plenty. 

Like being constantly nagged by your mother to find a rich suitor and get married. Like being cornered with plenty of such rich suitors whom you never find just slightly attractive. But the biggest one of them would be if you were seen with the pretty flower delivery man.

Your mother gave you a pep talk one day when you asked for his name, saying that you better not get familiar with the likes of him and instead focus on finding a man to marry and have children with.

It was annoying, really. So much so that you wished you could summon that stupid handsome man and kiss him just to vex your mother. Alas, it remained a wish.

Like most of the things in your life.

-

"Your sister is expecting," your mother announces as she carefully spreads pomegranate jam on her bread. You stop eating for a second, processing the words and then nod. "I'll be sure to visit her and congratulate her."

Even though it isn't evident on her face, you know your mother is over the moon. Your sister, the one 3 years younger than you, got married last winter and within four months she's expecting. You also know that this is what she wishes for you too and now the conversation will venture in that direction.

"Once again, ____. I'm telling you to find someone— "

"You know I'm not interested, mother," you cut her off, sipping your tea. You can feel her gaze burn into you as there's a heavy pause before she drops her bread on the plate and wipes her fingers with the napkin. "Which is why I've found someone for you. You know lady Downwell. Her nephew is an extremely talented young man with gorgeous looks. He is plenty rich too. I've asked him to have lunch with us today so that you may get to know each other."

The look of horror on your face matches your fathers as you drop the cup from your hand, sending it crashing down and he chokes a cough before blinking rapidly. Your younger brother, only 8 years old, sitting next to you, screams in glee while slapping on the jam spread on his toast, sending it flying, "Sister is getting married!"

Your mother doesn't blink an eye at the commotion.

"D-dear, isn't this a bit too sudden?" Your father starts gently. The woman spoken to glares at him. "Sudden? You know how long I have been telling her to find a suitor. She is well above the age to get married. If we keep going like this no one will marry her except an old, blind oaf!"

"S-still, my love. You could have told me. I would have looked into him."

"I have already done that. He is the perfect gentleman. You will see when he arrives."

The way your mother talks so nonchalantly, deciding your fate right in front of you without even bothering to ask makes your blood boil. You clench your fists as tightly as you can, trying your best to not lash out but the effort is in vain.

You stand up abruptly, sending the chair back with an ugly screech as you snap, "If you think for one moment that I'm going to marry someone you choose for me, then you are gravely mistaken, mother!"

She stares at you, horrified but before she can curse you out, you head for the door, snatching your cloak on the way. 

You've had enough of this nonsense.

-

Hours of wandering later, you find yourself in the market, among the hustling and bustling of people who keep sparing you second glances, undoubtedly because of your pristine, polished appearance. You try to ignore them, instead focusing on the beautiful array of fresh produce, their color so vibrant you feel hungry. You keep walking, passing by the stores of fruits, vegetables, potteries, bakeries and more until you stop in front of a fairly large flower shop. It is minimally designed yet stands out among all the other shops and before you know it, you're stepping inside, pushing the door open.

It is empty except for the huge rows of flowers of various colors and sizes and types, arranged in long rows on one side of the shop. On the other side is a counter with a chair, a reception you assume, in which sits no one.

Just as you are about to call out for someone, a man appears from the back door, wiping his hands with a handkerchief and as his eyes meet yours, your breath is stolen.

It's him.

The flower delivering man.

Joshua.

Your breath stutters as you blink, feet almost moving to bolt out the door, for no particular reason except your shyness. Though, he saves you the trouble.

"Hello, Lady Jones. What may be the occasion that has led you to visit me?"

"Y-you recognize me?" You whisper, a little breathless.

"Should I not?" He blinks innocently. "I deliver flowers at your place twice a week, my lady."

"Y-yes. I am aware." You murmur. He waits for you to say more but when he's met with silence he offers, "The reason for your visit? Does your mother not like the pansies I dropped this week?"

"No, I am... not here about that." You look around awkwardly, moving your hands in the air as if they will conjure up the words. "I- I was wandering nearby and... I came across this shop. It looked lovely so I came in. I had no idea it belonged to you."

He nods, seeming to ponder over your words. Then he hums, as if satisfied and asks, "Would you like some tea? I have passion fruit and camomile. I would recommend the latter."

"Um," you swallow, throat dry. "Yes, please."

Lord, your mother would lose her mind if she knew you were having tea with him. Which makes you only want to do it more.

He offers you to sit on one of the two chairs by the window of the shop while he disappears inside the door he approached from. Once alone, you take in your surroundings, cozy and warm, a beautiful scent of flowers wafting in the air, soothing your stressed soul. But the ambiance of the environment doesn't stop you from chewing on your lip anxiously because you realize that running from the breakfast table isn't going to help you out of your situation.

When you return home tonight you'll be scolded by your mother or maybe, if your luck is really bad then she has probably already sent men looking for you. The thought makes you crane your head and look out the window suspiciously.

"Something got you anxious, my lady?" Your head whips back to see Joshua approaching with a tray containing two cups of tea. Setting it down on the small coffee table, he takes a seat on the vacant chair to your opposite.

"N-no," you murmur, eyes averting his. He hums and you have a feeling he doesn't buy your words. Nervous to make eye contact, you instead watch the steam emitting from the cups and chew on your lip.

"I have to say, I am quite pleasantly surprised with your unexpected visit. I never imagined you would set foot in this shabby little place."

"It is not shabby at all," You frown. "It is wonderful, albeit a little short but it has such a comfortable atmosphere."

"I have heard you rarely step outside the grounds of your place. It is quite an honor to have you here."

"I— yes that is true." You whisper, wondering if he thinks you are a spoiled little princess. But you have your reasons for staying inside most of the time. An unmarried girl your age, a daughter of the earl at that, has people frowning upon you all the time. If they are not frowning, the ladies or their sons of the high society are asking for your hand in marriage. It gets annoying and makes your skin crawl, being spied on all the time.

"I tend to garner a lot of attention when I step outside," you murmur shyly, reaching for the tea and taking a sip. 

"Why so, my lady?" The man frowns, making you squirm in embarrassment. Is he really so dense?

"Perhaps because I am well of age yet not married?" You state.

A beautiful flush coats the man's cheeks as he blinks and lowers his head. "Right, of course. My apologies, my lady."

His reaction makes you laugh. "It is nothing to apologize about, Mr...?"

"Hong," he offers.

You smile. "Mr. Hong. In fact, apologizing makes it worse almost." He flinches, looking ashamed, "Right." You offer him a kind smile to make him feel better. He says nothing as you sip your tea and watch outside the window and you feel his occasional glances at you.

An ambient silence later, he asks, "If you do not mind me asking, why are you yet not married?"

You blink, slightly taken aback. No one asked you that question so far, never bothered to know the reason why you have always run from the bond of matrimony. He probably takes your silence as irritation because he once again flushes red and apologizes, "I'm so sorry, my lady. I keep saying the most inappropriate words."

"No, no, not at all, Mr. Hong." You set down your cup. " I was a little surprised, that's all. No one has asked me that, ever."

"Oh." He breathes, blinking at you in curiosity. You exhale and play with the strings of your corset, wondering if you should tell him the truth. Before you think too much, your mouth starts moving. "I suppose I want the love I read in books. I want to feel the longing, the passion, and the desire they talk about in the stories. I have seen many many men but none of them made me feel those things. They were too reserved or awkward, too haste or rude, or just simply wanting the privileges of marrying an earl's daughter. So, I suppose I am yet to be betrothed for I am wishing for that type of love."

He remains still, observing you with careful eyes, making you feel embarrassed. You whisper in embarrassment, "Silly, is it not?"

He shakes his head. "Not even the slightest, my lady. In fact, that is really thoughtful. I admire the way you think."

"Oh," heat flares across your face as your heart thuds loudly in your chest. "T-thank you." You breathe.

He gives you his sweet smile, "You are welcome, my lady. I hope you find the love you are looking for. I assure you, you will one day."

His words make the wave of reality crash on you as you remember that your mother has already prepared a man for you. You sigh wistfully as the bitter words leave your mouth, "I do not think that will be happening."

A frown mars his beautiful face as he shifts in his chair and peers closely at your face, "Why do you say so, my lady?"

"My mother has already arranged a marriage for me." You blurt out. It definitely is not the wisest decision to say this to an almost stranger but the burden of the thought weighs heavily on your chest and it feels slightly better to let it out. Joshua seems stunned as he has gone speechless and is now watching you quietly.

Moments tick by in silence until he finally whispers, "I am sorry to hear that."

You let out a dry, unceremonious laugh. "Me too." He gives you a sympathetic look before reaching for his tea, probably feeling a little uncomfortable. You don't feel any better as the sane part of your brain questions why you are dumping your stupid problems on the man you've been talking to for ten minutes and who is also the man you have secretly pined for.

Sensing that you should leave now and find some other place to hide till dusk, you shift in your chair and clear your throat. However, he cuts you off.

"Do you perhaps have someone you like?" The man asks. You blink, stunned at the question as you process your thoughts.

Do you like someone?

Yes. A hundred times yes.

It is the man sitting in front of you. The one you can never have.

"I...yes, I do." You reply, face heated. He nods thoughtfully and suggests, "You should let him know then."

"I am not sure he feels the same for me." You avoid his eyes as if he can see the truth in them.

"Then ask him," Joshua says like it is the most obvious thing in the world. "Let him know. Any man would be crazy to refuse you, my lady."

Really?

His words make heat bloom in your face as your heart beats faster. "That is high praise, Mr. Hong."

"It is nothing but the truth, my lady." His words are fiercely sincere. You watch him for a breath, letting his words sink in and then, do the last thing a sane person would ever do.

"Will you be my betrothed, Mr. Hong?" You whisper, so low you assume he won't catch it but he does. You can tell by the way his eyebrows rise and his eyes widen as the hand reaching for the teacup stops mid-air. There is a heavy pause in the air as you wait, feeling like the entire world has stopped.

And then, he does something you never quite expected. He starts laughing. A full on belly laugh as he writhes in his seat and howls in laughter, the sound echoing around as if to mock you.

He has a hard time catching his breath and when he does he looks seriously amused. "My lord! You have quite the sense of humor, Lady Jones! I almost believed you!"

Embarrassment and anger flare through you. How dare he think you are joking when you said the bravest thing one could imagine to say? Your hands clench into fists as you abruptly stand, sending the chair back roughly and glare at him.

Your reaction completely sobers him as the look in his eyes changes, replaced with panic. But you have reached past the point of caring. Utterly humiliated, you turn and march for the door, fingers working on fastening the clasp of your cloak. Just as you are about to pull the door open his hand grabs your elbow, halting you.

"My lady! Please, wait!"

Unshed tears gather in your eyes as you scowl at him, clenching your teeth to hold in the fury.

"You...you were not joking, were you?" His voice is meek and the look in his eyes tells you that he knows the answer.

"I—..." He struggles to find words and it's almost pathetic so you save him the trouble.

"It is all right, Mr. Hong. I did not expect you to feel the same for me and neither do I expect you to save me from my trouble. You asked me to let him know and I merely did. This should not be a problem. We will never face each other again so we can put this past us and pretend as if it has never happened." The words are hard to speak, especially since you are so close to him, closer than you could ever imagine being and you can see the specks of gold in his eyes, and breathe in the faint scent of flowers and mint coming from him.

And that is torture. 

So you free yourself from his grasp and bolt out of his shop, feet carrying you through the throng of people in the market.

You spend the next few hours just wandering around, crossing large meadows, grape vines, marigold gardens and so much more, all the while trying to forget his reaction.

You did not expect him to fall head over heels for you but the last thing you could imagine was to be laughed at. How humiliating. The more you think about it, the more shame you feel.

What if he has someone he likes? What if he is already betrothed to someone?

Oh Lord, you wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole.

Your aimless wandering comes to an end with the fall of dusk as your aching feet carry you back to your home where your mother's wrath awaits. Oddly, you do not feel scared of that, your heart already burdened with another type of emotion.

As you predicted, your mother is livid the moment you step into your house, sending the servants scattering away at her booming voice as your father tries to calm her down and give you a sympathetic look. You care for none of those as you simply let her shout at you and then retreat into your room where you curl up into a ball on your bed and lie in silence.

You don't know if it's the heartbreak or exhaustion that lulls you to sleep.

-

The next morning when you come downstairs, you find the house empty other than your father. Apparently, your mother and younger brother have gone to the neighbor's place for breakfast so you sigh in relief.

As you finish your breakfast in silence and the maidservant clears away your plates, your father emerges from his study and stops when he spots you.

After a beat of silence, he takes a seat next to you and gives you a soft, meaningful look that chokes you with emotions. "How are you holding up, darling?" He quietly asks.

"Fine, I suppose. I have accepted my fate." You reply, staring at your lap. Your father sighs wistfully. "I know your mother can be too much to handle at times but she means well. She did that out of concern for you."

You resist the urge to roll your eyes.

"That being said," your father continues. "She should not have arranged a meeting without consulting with you first. I apologize on her behalf, darling."

You swallow and blink back the tears and manage to simply nod in reply. When he calls your name you are forced to meet his eyes and you can see the seriousness in his expression.

"You don't have to accept anything you are not comfortable with, darling. I know you, my daughter and I do not want you to move into an arrangement unhappy when it ties you up for life. I want you to think and I want you to make the decision. Whether you marry Lady Campbell's niece or wait for someone, I want you to decide for yourself and stand by it. And I promise to help you with that however I can."

The wave of gratefulness you feel is immense as you croak, "Really, father?"

"Yes, my child." He reaches for your hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze. You take a breath and whisper, "I do not want to marry her niece. I am not ready, not yet at least."

He nods calmly and pats your shoulder. "Then you will not. I will have a talk with your mother later but ultimately you should convince her, make her see your point. It may be hard but it is not impossible."

You nod solemnly, a flurry of hope and motivation flowing through you. A thought occurs to you and just as your father is about to get up and leave, you stop him.

"Father, what kind of man do you expect me to marry?"

He frowns. "I'm not quite following, darling."

"I mean, do you wish for me to marry someone who is from high society like us? Or would you be fine if I brought home an ordinary man?"

He ponders for a moment before replying, "I wish for you to marry someone you love or at least someone who understands you, respects you and protects you." Then his eyes narrow on you, "Do you have someone you like, my daughter?"

"No," you murmur, because that's not completely a lie. Yes, you like someone but that person doesn't like you so it is pointless to mention that. Your father watches you for a moment before walking away and leaving you by yourself. You watch the blue sky and the garden from the large windows, yet your thoughts remain stuck on one particular man, who smells like flowers and hopes and love.

-

In the afternoon when you come downstairs, intent on spending some time in the garden, tending to the flowers, you realize something is up.

Your mother's scowl of disdain greets you at the bottom of the stairs as she stands in front of your father's study, her arms crossed, foot tapping impatiently.

You don't need to ask what is wrong as she speaks, "What did you do, young lady!"

You're baffled and it is safe to say you have no idea what you could have done. Calmly, you ask, "Could you explain, mother?"

She hisses, "What is that flower delivery boy doing here!"

"Huh?"

"Mr. Hong is here to see your father, wishing to talk about you, _____! What did you do yesterday? Did you meet with him?"

The ground beneath you disappears as you fall and fall, tumbling down into an abyss of anxiousness. Throat dry, eyes wide in alarm, you set sight for your father's study and take determined steps towards it. Your mother is horrified, calling for you to stop but you don't listen as you slam open the door to the study.

Two pairs of eyes greet you as your father sits behind his large oak desk, hand resting under his chin thoughtfully and Joshua stands in front, dressed formally, clutching his hat between his hands.

You open your mouth, to make some excuse or maybe accuse the poor man of lying but your father saves you from it.

"______, darling I'm in the middle of a discussion."

"But father— !"

"_____." Your name is uttered in a warning which makes you shut up and begrudgingly, you step back but not before sending your best threatening glare at Joshua who keeps looking at you impassively, no emotion whatsoever written on his face.

Just as you close the door, your mother is hot on your heels as she throws a dozen questions left and right. You try to block them out as you bite your nails nervously.

Your agitation carries you to the garden as you try to take a peek into your father's study but alas, the drapes are on, blocking the complete view.

What is Joshua doing here? Is he here to complain about you? Tell your father how you stupidly confessed to him? Or threaten to tell everyone about your actions?

Oh, sweet lord.

The thoughts overwhelm you and you wish you could fall to the ground and cry. You are too wired to do that but you know you will be crying later, when this handsome threat leaves and your mother grounds you forever.

You rub your temples in sheer worry as you pace back and forth in the garden littered with beautiful plants. This is usually your place of solace but right now you feel nothing remotely close to it.

This is it. You are doomed. You will still end up marrying some man you aren't interested in but now with an extra bit of shame and scandal.

The sound of footsteps wakes you out of your stupor as you whip your head to see Joshua leaving the house. You charge straight at him, hissing, "What on earth could you be doing here, Mr. Hong!"

He stares at you blankly for a moment before replying, "I think you and I both know the reason for my sudden presence, my lady."

His calmness bursts fury in your veins like he just didn't ruin your already ruined life.

"Are you insane?" You seethe. "Why would you tell my father about that? It was a mistake, alright? I know it was inappropriate but could you not have saved me from the shame?"

He remains silent, just blinking.

Oh, how you wish you could choke him.

"I— I just do not understand, Mr. Hong!" You rub your temples, searching for the words. "You always act like a gentleman but behind the facade, you are just scheming, are you not? What did you ask my father for, huh? Blackmail him for money? Threaten to tell everyone about my stupid confession unless you got paid?"

There is a flash of anger, mixed with hurt in his eyes that makes you shut your mouth. Maybe you went too far.

Shit. This only keeps getting worse.

There's a long moment of silence, where you two gaze at each other, you cowering under his hard stare before he sighs softly, "I believe it is best you ask your father. He will tell you everything."

He tips his hat in goodbye before briskly walking out the gates, leaving you frayed with nerves and slightly guilty.

-

Your father's movements are cool and calm as he pours himself some tea, definitely not looking like someone who had been threatened or blackmailed. Well, you just assumed that and the more time passes, the more you realize your observation was terribly wrong. Which further worries you.

What is going on here?

"Please put me out of my misery, father," you speak, eyes watching him helplessly as he sits down behind his desk and takes a sip. Humming in satisfaction, he sets the cup down and meets your eyes. There seems to be a hint of an amused curve in his lips but your disoriented brain could be just imagining that.

"As you saw, Mr. Hong was here. He had something shocking to say. Or ask, I suppose." This time, there is a full on amused smile on his face that makes your toes curl.

Holding your breath, you wait for your father to continue.

"He asked me for your hand in marriage."

What?

What?

The air in your lungs gets trapped inside as you forget to breathe. Had you not been sitting down, you would have tumbled on the ground by now.

You had to have heard that wrong. There is simply no way...

"C-could you please repeat that?" You are choking.

Your father smiles. "He wishes to marry you, my daughter. He came to ask me for permission. It appears you came across him yesterday and also professed your feelings toward him..."

There is a buzzing in your ears as your father's words fade away, replaced with an overwhelming wave of emotions. You are stunned, grateful, impressed, guilty and so much more that you don't know what to do with yourself. You wish you could cry but the utter shock in your system prevents you from doing that too.

When your father calls your name multiple times, you snap out of your haze and blink at him. "What did you say to him, father?"

A playful smile dances on his lips. "It's sufficient to say I was completely stunned at his bravery. He is a noble young man and I am thoroughly impressed and assured that he would take care of you in every way. So I told him I would speak with my daughter and that if she truly desires him, I will bestow my blessings."

Tears of relief and gratefulness leak from your eyes.

"F-father..."

His eyes soften, "You like that man, do you not? Is that why you asked me whether I would be okay if you did not marry someone in the high society?"

You nod shyly. "Yes, but I was just curious, father. I really did not imagine he would come here and ask for my hand in marriage. I just blurted out my feelings the other day and I..." You shake your head, absolutely bewildered until the realization dawn's upon you.

How rashly you behaved with him. How you accused him of things he never did.

You always act like a gentleman but behind the facade, you are just scheming, are you not?

Threaten to tell everyone about my stupid confession unless you got paid, no?

You wince as you remember your words. Immediately you stand up. "I need to go somewhere. Can I take your horse?"

He lifts a surprised eyebrow before nodding. "Send your mother inside on your way out."

You almost bolt out of the room. Your mother stands right outside but you push past her and reach for your cloak hanging by the door as she throws a hundred questions in your direction.

"Father is waiting for you!" You tell as you fly out the front door, heading for the stables where you find your father's trustee horse Bella and get on it.

Soon you are flying down the streets, Bella's legs gracefully carrying you to your destination, Joshua's flower shop. You can only hope he's there as you have no idea where he actually lives. Well, if he isn't there then you are just going to wait for him. You were a complete spoiled brat and you said some very mean things to him that you need to apologize for no matter what.

The market soon comes into view and a minute later you are in front of his shop where you get down and fasten Bella next to a pole. You almost break down the doors as you push them wide open, grateful that they open.

But inside, there is no one.

"Mr. Hong?" Your voice is filled with urgency.

No reply.

A chill settles into your bones.

He shouldn't be far away if he left his shop unlocked, right?

Tentatively you step into the shop, eerie stillness in the air...or maybe it's the imagination of your guilt. You pass by the reception booth and the displays of flowers and come to stand in front of the small door at the back of the shop. Seeing it slightly ajar, you breathe in the courage and give it a gentle push.

The door opens to lead you to a garden, so full of flowers it feels unreal. It is a burst of colors, a piece of paradise, and something so beautiful you could never imagine.

You step down a couple of stairs and put your foot on the grass, eyes taking in the huge land of flowers. With the sun slowly setting down on the horizon this feels magical. Walking a little further into the garden, you spot the man you are looking for, as he is crouched near the ground, washing his hands next to a pail of water.

Before you can stop yourself, you are calling out for him.

His head whips around at your voice as shock colors his face. You take quick steps towards him as he stands up and wipes his hands with a handkerchief, a sudden look of disdain settling on his face. You, however, don't let that dissuade you.

"The door was open so I let myself in. I hope you do not mind." You murmur, not being able to hold his gaze and instead looking down at the ground. The reply you get is a sound, somewhere between a hum and a grunt, increasing your guilt tenfold.

You have never seen him like this. His normal joyous self is replaced by this cold mask and icy glare. It makes you jittery with nerves as you try to form a complete coherent sentence in your head.

"I.... I—"

"What brings you here, Lady Jones?" There is an underlying harshness in his tone that breaks your heart.

"My father has accepted your proposal!" You blurt out instead of apologizing. His eyes widen visibly in shock and his mouth parts just a little bit before going back to the previous unyielding gaze.

"I see." Is all he says, frowning. He turns his back on you in dismissal and picks up a watering can to walk over to a bunch of marigolds. As he waters them you trail behind like a lost puppy, hands clenching and unclenching at his utter dismissal.

"Mr. Hong, listen—"

"I am glad you took the liberty to come all the way here and let me know that but I think you should head back. The sun will set soon." He states not even glancing at you.

You stop in your tracks, glaring at him as tears burn in your eyes. Before you know it, you yell. "Will you let me speak for a second? I am trying to apologize here, mister!"

He turns around in a flash and scowls at you as he snarks. "Well, you sure are not doing a good job at it!"

You gasp, a sudden pinch of pain in your heart as you take a step back. "You won't even listen to me!"

He spares you a glance for a moment before going back to his work and that sets the limit. You screech, tears of hurt and guilt and exhaustion pouring down your cheeks. "I'm sorry, okay! I ran over here as soon as father told me everything! I know very well what I said was out of line and I'm sincerely sorry for that! I was scared, okay? The things I mentioned took place before and I did not want my father to be blackmailed or humiliated, especially for my actions! But I was wrong! I was too quick to judge you and I should have known better and I'm sorry!"

You stop to catch your breath and wipe away the tears while he stands immobile with his back facing you. Getting the clear message, you spit out the bitter words. "I can clearly see that you have now changed your mind and I am not blaming you. I shall go and let my father know that you are not interested in me anymore. Goodbye!"

You turn on your heel, marching out of the garden and into his shop where you take in a deep breath, the familiar scent of comfort filling your nostrils for the very last time and head for the front door. Just as you grab the handle, a hand catches your wrist and pulls you back in a flash, making you lose your footing and bump straight into a strong chest.

The scent and warmth of Joshua envelopes you completely as he wraps his arms around you, one on your waist and the other cradling your head, holding you against him tightly. You tense up and try to free yourself but he only grips you tighter, burying your face into his hard chest and before you can think, a stream of new tears flows out of your eyes. You clutch his shirt in a tight fist as you sob into his chest, murmuring a continuous string of apologies. He shushes you, rubbing a reassuring palm on your back as you let out all the pent up frustrations.

When you have finally ridden out the wave of overwhelming emotions you pull back, embarrassment creeping up your neck. Joshua, however, gazes at you fondly as he tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

"You shall do no such thing, you hear me, my lady? I am marrying you and now that your father has agreed, there is no going back."

You chew on your lips. "But...I do not wish for you to feel trapped in this marriage. I do not want you to marry me just because—"

He holds up a finger against your lips, shushing you immediately. The touch of his skin against yours shoots tingles all through your spine and you suddenly wonder how his lips would feel against yours.

"I want to marry you, lady Jones. I am no longer shy to admit that thoughts of you have plagued my mind for a while now. But I simply pushed them away because I never imagined you feeling the same. However, we are here now and I want you to have no doubts about my feelings for you, for they are the most genuine."

Your face burns with embarrassment as your heart flutters in your chest at his heartfelt confession. You realize he still has his arm around your waist as he gazes at you softly and once again, you voice out the crazy thought that pops into your mind.

"Will you kiss me, Mr. Hong?" Your voice is breathless as you meet his eyes. They go wider than saucers upon hearing your words as he quickly retracts his hands from your body, leaving behind an aching longing.

"My lady!" He chides and you can see a hint of red blooming in his cheeks. "I shall not defile you before we are—"

You hover on your toes and press your lips against his, silencing him. Just as quickly as you kissed him, you pull back, your shyness and nervousness getting the best of you.

The look of utter horror on the man's face makes you cringe as you look down in shame. "I— I apologize, Mr—"

This time you are silenced as he tilts your head up by your chin and kisses you, all warm and soft. His lips mold against yours perfectly as he gently explores your mouth, leaving you breathless yet desperate to continue.

When he pulls back, your lips are puffed and your heart beats so loud you're afraid he can hear it. There is a different kind of look in his eyes, heated and full of desire as he intently stares at your lips for some agonizingly long moments. When you are about to lean in for more he takes a step back, a serious look on his face.

"I meant it when I said I shall not defile you before our marriage. My control is hanging by a thread right now so please do not tempt me, my lady."

"_____." You whisper.

"What?"

"Please call me by my name. I do not like it when you refer to me as my lady."

He frowns but you can see he finds the idea tempting. "I do not think that it will be appropriate."

"Just when it is the two of us." You add, hoping to convince him. He sighs, defeated and calls your name softly, stealing your breath all over again. He presses a soft kiss on your forehead as he pulls you into an embrace, making you melt against his chest and breathe him in.

A while later, you remember that the sun has set and you are expected home soon as you pull back with a wistful sigh. "I need to get going. My parents are going to be worried."

Joshua nods as he reaches for a coat folded over a chair. "I shall accompany you." He states, already moving for the door.

"It is not necessary—"

"Nonsense. It is dark outside and I shall ensure the safety of my future wife." The teasing smile on his face makes you grin like a lovestruck fool and you happily let him accompany you home.

_

A week later, Joshua drops by your house, having tea with your father before taking you out for an afternoon stroll. You dress up for the occasion, putting on a flattering gown and doing your hair and makeup as he takes you to a nearby vineyard.

"How have you been?" He asks politely. A week of not seeing him has made you somewhat shy and awkward as you murmur your reply shyly.

"Having second thoughts, my lady?" He raises a brow, teasing. A pout forms on your lips. "I told you not to call me that. And no, I am not."

"Good." He smiles. The afternoon sun falling on his face gives him his ethereal glow and shamelessly, you wish for the wedding to come quicker as your desire for him continues to grow.

"Then what seems to be the issue?"

"Just things..." You trail off, unsurely. "My mother, mainly. She is having a tough time accepting this." You sigh, motioning between the two of you.

A frown mars his face, making you feel guilty. While it is true that she is still pestering you to change your mind, you have started to learn how to tune it out. You let her know that you were not going to change your decision no matter what she said and the fact that your father and your siblings were on board with you definitely gave you courage.

With your mother holding a grudge, you took it upon yourself to start preparing for the wedding. Your sister also came to help and along with the aid of the maidservants, it is coming along pretty nicely. The linen draper came by today as you finalized your dress and now that that is out of the way, you feel a lot better.

Joshua has remained silent beside you as you two continue to walk and you start fiddling, wondering if you've hurt his feelings. "You do not have to be concerned about my mother. She is just not happy with our... differences but I am sure she will come around." You reassure him.

"Does it bother you?" Joshua asks suddenly, stopping and meeting your eyes. "That I am not from high society?" 

"Why would you think so?" You ask, almost yelling. "I do not care where you come from or what your status is, Joshua. It pains that you would think so."

He sighs. "I am sorry, love." The pet name rapidly blooms heat on your face and it amplifies as he reaches to grab your hands. His larger fingers rub your knuckles soothingly as he offers you a soft smile. "I just... sometimes worry because I will not be able to give you the lifestyle you are used to. But you do not have to worry too much. My father may not be high born but he was a great businessman and I have inherited all his properties. He also left me a land—"

You shut him up with a kiss. He's taken aback and just as he is about to deepen it, you pull back with a teasing smile. "I think the person worrying too much here is you, mister."

He chuckles softly, dropping a quick kiss on your nose and intertwining his hands with yours as you resume your walk. "I shall try my utmost to keep you happy, love." He promises.

You smile. "I know you will. I shall do the same."

-

That night as you prepare for bed, your mother peeks into your room and surprising you, invites herself in. You watch her, a little confused as she takes a seat on your bed because she has been avoiding you as best as she could until now.

She fiddles with her nightgown for a while before heaving a deep sigh, making you wonder what bomb she is going to drop on you now.

Her eyes meet yours. "You are truly going to marry that man, no?"

"Yes, mother." You try not to sound too exasperated. She sighs, murmuring something about how you are stubborn like your father and then straightens up.

"You have to understand I am only concerned about you. I love you, ______. You are my daughter and I only want the best for you."

Your heart softens. You exhale loudly. "I know that mother but I need you to understand that Mr. Hong is the best for me. He may not be what you had in mind for me but I find him perfect. He makes me happy, mother."

She stares at you impassively for a while, making you anxious. Did you push her too far?

"I talk from experience, darling. My time with your father had always not been so breezy. The famine that took place in your birth year was not easy. Even as an earl, your father had to struggle to provide for us."

You know this story. That year the famine was particularly harsh, affecting the entire country and your parents had a hard time getting by with your older brother and you, despite being affluent.

"I know how hard times can get and I was married to an earl. I keep imagining the same may happen to you and he would not be able to take care of you and your children."

You sigh, letting a thick silence stretch between the two of you. While she has a point, you would rather struggle with someone you love than live comfortably with a man you despise. It would simply kill you.

"Do you regret it, mother?"

"What?"

"I know you had better proposals than father. During the hard times, did you ever regret choosing him? Having us?"

Your mother indeed had fancier marriage proposals as your grandfather was a duke. Your mother even had a direct proposal from the prince but she refused, choosing your father instead.

She sits in silence for a while before shaking her head. "I do not."

You smile. "Then there you have it. Life is bound to get harsh sometimes, mother. But we can overcome it with the people we love, can we not? You overcame the hard times and now look at us."

Even in the dimly lit room, you can see your mother's eyes shine with unshed tears. She watches you for a moment before a small smile appears on her lips as her arm reaches out to cup your cheek. "When did you grow up so well, darling?"

You smile, your eyes getting teary too as you shuffle closer and wrap your arms around her, tucking your head under her chin. She holds you in her arms like you are a little kid all over again, stroking your hair and gently swaying back and forth.

"I will ask him to come over for lunch, tomorrow. There is still some time left for the wedding so I suppose I should start to get to know him."

She doesn't need to mention who she means by him because you already know and a large smile sets on your face, making your cheeks hurt.

-

A fortnight later, you and Joshua were pronounced man and wife in front of all your loved ones. It felt surreal as you kept wondering how this flower boy became your lover boy so quickly and unexpectedly. Whatever the magic, you were glad and grateful.

Your husband later surprised you with a beautiful cottage by a magnificent lake just by the city that he had purchased for the two of you as a wedding gift. And in there, he stuck to his promise and did a great job of defiling you, again and again and again...

a/n: thank you for reading lover boy! if you enjoyed it please like, reblog and comment your thoughts! for more of my works, check out my pinned post.

wishing you a lovely day.

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Baby Please Come Home - hjs

title: baby please come home pairing: joshua hong x gn!reader genre: fluff, established relationship, idolverse w.c.: 2.9k summary: they’re singing deck the halls, but it’s not like christmas at all a/n: it’s predictable but still cute okay leave me be

“Y/N! There’s something for you outside the door!” You emerge from your room to see your roommate standing at the front door.

You haven’t ordered anything recently so you aren’t sure what it is. When you reach the door you see it’s not a normal package either. It’s a box wrapped in shiny red wrapping paper with a bow on top, just like a Christmas present. 

You pick it up and look at the tag on it. To Y/N, From Your Secret Santa.

You frown a bit in confusion before moving to the couch to open the present. You carefully unwrap the present to reveal a normal box under it. When you open that box you find a pile of clothes and a bag of candies for you. The clothes are adorable and definitely your style and the candies are your favorite kind. It would be a great, if only you knew who it was from. You aren’t a part of any Secret Santas this year so you’re not sure who even sent the present.

You search through the box a bit more before you find a note in the bottom.

Dear Y/N,

Merry Christmas! I know Christmas this year might be hard on you, so I thought I’d send you a little something to cheer you up. When I saw these sweaters I knew they would be perfect for you and I know you can’t miss out on a sweet tooth moment. Wishing you nothing but the happiest of holidays.

Love,

Your Secret Santa

You search the note for hints but still come up short. You have an idea of who you hope it would be from, but you banish those thoughts from your mind. There is no way it could be from him, he is busy with other things this time of the year. If anything it’s probably from your mom just trying to do something nice for you. You appreciate it nonetheless and you can’t wait to thank the gift giver when you find out who it is. It is exactly what you needed to get you in the Christmas spirit.

The next couple of days the gifts continue to come. Some Christmas decorations, a stuffed teddy bear, some scented candles, that book you keep talking about buying. Each gift comes with it’s own note and it isn’t until the seventh day of gifts that you finally put the clues together.

This gift is of a Lego set. You’ve only told one person about this set and the note confirms your suspicions.

Dear Y/N,

I remember you mentioning this to me once or twice. I know you try to hide your love for Legos but I hope this can help be more open with your joys, even the little ones. You deserve things that make you happy. Let’s put it together the next time I see you, yeah?

Love,

Your Secret Santa

Tears well up in your eyes a bit. Of course it’s been him. You were crazy to think anything else.

“Hey Y/N- woah, are you okay?” Your roommate barges into your room only to be stopped in their tracks by your tears.

“I’m fine, I just…Josh has been sending me the gifts.”

Joshua is your boyfriend. You guys have been dating for years now but his time is often spent in Korea with his K-POP group. You know how much being an idol means to him, and you support him no matter what, it’s just hard to not have him around as often as you’d like.

This year he’s been busier than usual and gave you the news a few months back that he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to come back home for the holidays. It has been weighing on you pretty heavily with Christmas coming up and something about the gifts make it better and worse.

It’s a sweet gesture, sending you gifts he knew you’d like to help you celebrate Christmas even while he’s an ocean away. You appreciate the sentiment to no end, but the smallest part of you can’t help but wish you could just have Joshua with you.

“Why don’t you call him?” Your roommate suggests. “I’m sure he would love to hear from you.” With that they leave your room again and you search for your phone.

You double check the time in Korea before you dial his number. You haven’t talked to him in a while outside of a few minor texts checking in on one another. You haven’t seen his face outside of promotional photos though. The phone rings twice before Joshua picks up, his face filling your screen.

“Hi baby!”

“Hi, how are you? Have I caught you at a good time?”

“Yes, yes, of course. Anytime is a good time for you,” he tells you. You know that is definitely not the truth, but it’s still cute he said it. “So what’s up? How’s my favorite person been?”

“I’ve been amazing. All thanks to your gifts, Secret Santa.”

You watch the way Joshua’s face contorts into a grin. “Ah, you’ve figured it out! I’m glad, I was hoping you’d figure it out soon. I know I can’t be home for Christmas, and it’s been killing both of us, but I hope this can make up for some of it.”

“It’s amazing, you’re the best boyfriend ever Josh. Truly, thank you. You didn’t have to put so much effort into it, but it’s much appreciated. You have me very spoiled.”

“Oh just wait for your next few gifts. I had the boys help me pick out a couple of them and I just know you’re going to love them. Send me your reaction when you get them, okay?”

You’re not sure why but without meaning to, tears start to well in your eyes again. “O-of course Josh.”

“Oh baby. Baby what’s wrong? Is it too much?”

“No, no, I love the gifts, they’re all amazing, trust me. It’s just…I miss you so much. Christmas doesn’t feel like Christmas without you. The gifts are wonderful and everything, but it’s not the same you know?”

“I get it, and I’m really sorry I can’t be home Y/N. You know I wish for nothing more than to be with you right now.”

“I know that baby, and it’s not your fault. It doesn’t stop me from missing you though. I have my friends and family and everyone, but you’re the one who means the most to me. I wish we could just cuddle under the blankets with hot chocolate and watch bad Hallmark Christmas romance movies.”

“I wish I could kiss you right now,” Joshua says. His face is more somber now, but you can still see the hint of admiration behind his eyes. Your heart fills with warmth knowing that you guys love each other no matter what.

“I’ll give you double the kisses the next time I see you,” you tell him.

“Well then, I’ll try to be home as soon as possible.”

“Shua-yah!” You hear someone call for Joshua off camera, it sounds like DK.

“Ah, duty calls,” you joke. “I’ll talk to you later, yeah?”

“Of course. I love you, don’t forget that.”

“Never, as long as you don’t forget I love you just as much.”

“I couldn’t even if I tried, not that I ever would. I have to go now, but remember to text me with your reactions to your gift tomorrow. Okay, bye, love you!” With that, the phone call ended. You sigh and place our phone back down.

“Please come home soon,” you mutter to your room before getting up to get on with your day.

Luckily finding out that Joshua is your ‘Secret Santa’ has given you more reasons to text him. You give him a daily update on your gifts and how your reactions to them. Each one is just as amazing as you expect. Just when you didn’t think you could love Joshua more, here he is, showing how well he listens to you and how much he cares about you and how well he knows you.

Truly the only thing that could make everything better would be to have your boyfriend with you in the flesh.

You push those thoughts away as you continue getting ready for Christmas dinner. You’re going over to your parents house to eat dinner with your family and to exchange presents. You fix your outfit before clasping the gold chain necklace around your neck. It was the last gift Joshua gave you and you nearly cried when you saw it.

It’s a beautiful piece with a thin gold chain and a beautiful gem pendant. On the back of the pendant is your and Josh’s initials engraved. It is the most gorgeous piece of jewelry you own and sure to pair it with your outfit for tonight to make sure Joshua is with you in some way.

You check yourself in the mirror once more before you make your way to your parents house. Your father greets you at the door before ushering you into the house where your mother is finishing up dinner in the kitchen.

“Y/N! Oh it’s so nice to see you sweetie.” Your mom presses a quick kiss to your cheek before continuing to tend to the food.

“Let me help you Mom, you seem to have a lot on your plate.”

“Oh no, I’m good here. How about you help set the table though.”

“Can do! How many places should I set?”

“Eleven places, dear.”

“Eleven? Who else is joining us?” It was customary for your family to have ten places during holidays.

“Oh it’s just one of your father’s work friends. He didn’t have anyone to spend the holidays with so your father offered him to come here. Isn’t that nice?”

You hum in agreement before you start to set the table. You softly sing along to the Christmas music your mother has playing as you get the table ready for the feast. Just as you finish setting the last place the doorbell rings and you rush to get it. When you open the door your grandparents stand there and you greet them with hugs.

Soon the house fills up with the guests and your mother starts to place food out on the table. Being with your family fills you with a warm feeling and even though your boyfriend is still on your mind, the presence of your other loved ones helps relieve some of that pain.

Everyone is seated at the table when you notice the eleventh spot is still empty.

“Hey Dad, is your friend still coming?”

“Hm? Oh, right! He’s just running a bit late sweetie. We can start to eat without him.”

You can’t shake the feeling something is a bit off but you don’t make a fuss as everyone starts to dish out the food. You fill up your plate and start to eat while your family starts to make idle chatter in between bites. You only listen to half of it, your brain wandering off to thinking about what Joshua’s doing right now.

You make a mental note to try and call him later tonight when your thoughts are interrupted by a loud knock on the door.

“Oh Y/N sweetie, could you get that?” Your father asks and you nod before getting up and walking over to the door.

When you open the door you come face to face with a man you’ve never met before. He must be your father’s friend. You welcome him in, trying to tamper down the disappointment that rises in you. You don’t know why you thought it would have been someone else. Joshua is in Korea, you know this. He has important idol work to attend to, he can’t just get up and come to America because you miss him.

You sit back down in your place as your father and his friend start up a conversation about their job. Your appetite has lessened and you can’t help chide yourself for having such silly thoughts. You fingers move up to fiddle with the chain around your neck, trying to remind yourself that just because you’re not together physically doesn’t mean you guys aren’t with each other in other ways.

“Y/N honey, are you okay?” Your mother asks and you look up to see your mother staring at you with a worried expression.

“Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine. I was just lost in thought. Dinner is great though, thank you for making all of this.” You make a show of taking a big bite of the potatoes on your fork. Your mother still looks a bit worried but drops the subject, thankfully.

You try to put yourself back into the conversation. Just because things aren’t how you wish, doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy yourself. It works some, listening to your grandparents share anecdotes and getting to know your father’s co-worker.

When dinner is finished the adults pour a drink and you sit and talk with them for a bit more before you excuse yourself for the night, claiming tiredness taking you over. You don’t go straight home when you leave you though, driving downtown instead.

You walk the decorated streets, listening to the faint Christmas music playing out of the street speakers. There’s a bit in the air but it doesn’t bother you much. Most of the shops are closed and the streets are fairly empty, save for a few families and a handful of couples.

You stare at the couples for a little too long, thinking about your own boyfriend. When you focus hard enough you can almost feel his hand enveloping yours as you walk down the street.

A few minutes later you sigh and give up, heading back to your car. It’s no use. As much as you can imagine and wish and try, Joshua still isn’t with you, and your Christmas is nothing but sad and lonely. 

You take your time driving back home, listening to your radio and staring at everyone’s light displays. It’s nearly midnight when you pull into your parking spot and trudge up to your apartment. The lights are off when you get inside and there’s no noise, signaling your roommate is spending the night at their parents’ house.

You change out of your nice clothes and pull on one of the sweaters Joshua sent you before you start a pot of hot water for some hot chocolate. You check the time, 11:58. Joshua should be free right now, even though it’s not Christmas over in Korea anymore. You dial his number only for his phone to go straight to voicemail. Damn it.

You wonder what he’s up to right now as you pour the cocoa powder into your mug. It’s also from one of Joshua’s gifts. You think to yourself that if you can’t be with Joshua, at least you can surround yourself with things that represent him.

Just as you’ve sat down on your couch to turn a movie on, you hear a knock on your door. You glance at your clock. 12:04. Who could be at your door at this time? Did our roommate come home and forget their key again?

You set your mug down and make your way to the door before opening it. When you do you nearly scream out. Standing at your front door is the one person who’s been on your mind for weeks. You don’t have control of your body as you move forward to throw yourself onto the man. You wrap your limbs around him as you feel tears start to stream down your face. He’s quick to catch you, pulling you into him even together.

You don’t know how long you stay like that, crying in his arms, but you don’t think you’ve ever been happier than in this moment. When you finally pull away you see his face is also a bit tear stained. You can’t help but pull him back into a hug.

“W-what are you doing here?” You hold him tight, like if you let go of him he’ll disappear. 

“I told you I'd be home as soon as possible. I just had to get those kisses you promised," he tells you with a grin. "Truthfully, I just kept thinking about you and Christmas and I knew I needed to come home. I talked to our manager and they gave me a few weeks for break so I could come home and be with you,” Joshua explains. “I’m sorry I’m late though.”

“Late?” You pull back again so you could look Joshua in the face.

“I missed Christmas, I’m sorry.” Joshua gestures to the clock. “Past midnight.”

“Oh shut up, who cares? It only matters that you’re here now.” You finally allow Joshua to step into your apartment fully. “You know, I loved everything you gave me, but you are the best Christmas gift.” You pull him into you again, this time connecting your lips as you do.

The kiss is soft and gentle yet passionate as you both try to make up for months of being apart. When you pull away Joshua has a dopey grin on his face.

“You know you’re pretty romantic,” he teases and you roll your eyes.

“Says the guy who flew here from Korea just to be with me. Now I think you owe me a movie night with hot chocolate and lots of kisses.”

“Only if we get to build the Lego set as well.”

“I think you have yourself a deal.” You press another quick kiss to his lips before you go to grab your Lego set. You know you’re going to spend the rest of the night reading instructions wrong and drinking way too much sugar but you can’t imagine a better way to spend your night.

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3 POINTER—🧡੭ jake drabble #1

the echoing of basketballs bouncing was so familiar to y/n by now that they didn’t get annoyed by it anymore. their boyfriend, jake sim, was practicing before the big game in the school gym, while they were supposed to be at cheer practice.

“hey sweetie,” he greeted you with his signature smile. he almost went in for a kiss before you got a sniff of his body odour.

“no no, no kisses until you’ve had a shower.”

“so no kisses until after the game? that’s in like two hours,” he complained. you dropped your bag which contained essentials like your cheer uniform, water, and deodorant. you held out your hand for him to grab and kiss, and he immediately did. it was like he could read your mind. his slightly damp dark brown hair falls into over his eyes, causing him to brush a hand through it. you shake your head and nod to your bag,

“i mean, i could give you some of my hello kitty deodorant if you want. then you’ll not only get a kiss from me but from your teammates as well.”

he rolls his eyes, “don’t you have cheer? i’ll feel bad if i’m the one taking you away from practice.” he noticed you already had your shoes on and started to turn you towards the glass doors you came from.

you look down at the ball held on his hip. “give me one shot, then i’ll leave.” you bargained, wanting to stay with him a little more.

you had played basketball for most of your life. but when your casual job demanded more hours, you had to quit. so instead you took up cheer seeing as practices happened in school time. jake reluctantly gave you the ball, crossing him arms causing his biceps to flex under his warmup shirt. you immediately dribbled up the the three point line and got balanced, shooting a perfect swish.

you look back at jake as the sound of the ball landing under the hoop echoed. his mouth is agape and his eyes wide, it makes you laugh. “was that good?”

“how did you do that? you’re a… cheerleader?”

“did you forget i used to play?” you smile at his still face and wave a hand in front of his eyes before he laughs in shock.

“i am like, super in love with you.”

your cheeks feel hot and turn love washed and you lightly punch his left shoulder. “channel that into the game tonight.” you give him a kiss on the cheek even though you had rejected one only a minute ago, and pick up your bag. “good luck jake.” your fingers flutter in his direction as he waves goodbye, stupid expression still stamped on his perfect face.

“yeah.. good luck.”

HOW DARE YOU JUST END IT LIKE THAT >:(

erase me. (pt.2) ミ yj 🌪️

synopsis: after unfortunately falling for yeonjuns sob story, the one you caused, he convinces you to see the others again.

pairing: yeonjun x reader

genre: gang!au, angst, sliver of fluff, exs to lovers (not completed in this part)

word count: 4.5k

warnings: lowercase writing, mention of drugs, drinking, gangs and gang wars, fighting, swearing, mentions of injuries and hospitals, sexy yeonjun 😈, not spell or grammer checked

a/n: this is part 2 to erase me!!! go read that first!!!!! this isn’t as long but it’s furthering the story anyways. also if this gets good interaction i’ll write another part 🏃💨 btw this fic, like the first part, is based on a song, the link is down below.

← pt.1

Listen Now!

the inside of my lip is spongey and sore now that i’ve been chewing on it for the past 5 minutes. yeonjun is ducked under and slouching down to talk to the reception lady. she’s grumbling about the time of morning, and yeonjun is wincing because of his injury, and he ought to know that i think we’re one and the same. 12:56.

it’s cold in the reception area, and my slippers do nothing but squeak as i shift side to side, waiting for the man i hate most to receive a room key in my own apartment building. his hair hass fallen into his eyes again as he glances at me, but i quickly avoid him, pretending to amuse myself with the brochures advertised on the wall beside me. i don’t even know why i came with him. a little bit of me thought that he’d leave if i didn’t.

he approaches slowly and i only now notice that hes wearing slippers like mine, but newer and with less wears and tears. his voice is like stinging ice when he talks. “the only room free is room 10, just down the hall from you.”

he’d stay in his own room, because god forbid i have him in my own apartment for another minute, and we’d leave in the morning. hopefully in the 5 hours i had left of the night i would convince myself not to leave with him. i felt terribly guilty, but i was doing fine here. i hoped i’d say goodbye, maybe write a note to the others - even when i knew beomgyu couldn’t read it. but a pit of what felt like dead leaves in my stomach was telling me to go and i didn’t want to trust them.

“i don’t trust you.” beomgyu was trying to persuade me as always, just like how we would trade snacks in kindergarten. “how do i know you’ll actually let me win?”

“cross my heart hope to die. you don’t even have to give me the full chocolate bar, just, like, half?” he shrugged, grabby hands coming closer to my precious food. soobin and kai had their turns on the nintendo while beomgyu and i were in the barely clean kitchen. i huffed and glared at him suspiciously.

“you let me win, and, i get to cut your hair.” i smirk and he immediately shakes his head. his accessorised hands grab his hair as if to protect it. it was hanging well over his eyes, tangled and unwashed. there were diy bleached strands oddly distributed and random bobby pins he stole from my bathroom shelf to hold it back.

“no! never!”

“oh come on, how are you supposed to navigate us through vents when you can’t even see?”

“hair bands?” he looks funnily serious, eyes pleading like a puppy.

“here, have the bar. i’m tired of fighting anyways.” it was a playful interaction but we both knew he really needed it, even if it wasn’t the healthiest thing to choose from. his own body weight relied on the muscle he gained, none of it coming from fat. because he stayed in for missions, he had less time to scavenge for more food. and even though we had enough food in the house for the odd meals and maybe a snack, he barely ate. but i don’t think he could help it, and i never liked it.

yeonjun told me goodnight, and i closed my door without another word. i look around my apartment again. still dripping, still creaking, still disgusting. a part of me realised a long time ago that even if i scrub the apartment to perfection, the ‘perfection’ will never be perfect. taehyun always reminded me of that. that nothing, no one, is perfect, but i always wanted it to be despite my brothers words. we didn’t talk much, and i guess through the years nothing changed even when i joined his gang. yet he knew everything. what i was thinking, what i was feeling, my next move. that’s why he didn’t chase after or beg for me to come back when i ran. he would’ve done the same, i know it. i grab at the basketball shorts i had put on before going to reception, and take a pulsating breath. i wanted to cry so bad. i wanted the tears to leak and fall and pool at the bottom of my feet, drip down to the soil and create a grave for me, until i couldn’t cry anymore. but the walls are thin, and the vents let sounds through.

i could’ve gotten more sleep, but i was busy contemplating if i should stay here, in an overly expensive apartment with a minimum wage job despite my age, or go with yeonjun, where i’d see the people i love and making a living out of risk. i was contemplating what future i should pick, and it was weighing me down.

he told me he’d be at my door waiting by 6. and i decided i’d join him by 5:47.

dejavu ghosted me as i heard a knock at the door and tip down coffee down my sink. for some reason i look around my apartment as if it’s the last time i’ll see it, before looking down at myself. i didn’t have much better clothes than this, a nearly worn out shirt and baggy shorts, but at least i was wearing closed in shoes now. i don’t worry about bringing much, because i know i’ll end up the same with or without all my sentimental items.

i bring a backpack with a couple essentials, under wear, toothbrush, pain meds, etc. my phone shows me the time, and i open the door.

he looks barely rested, and the bags under his eyes tell me he was stressing all night - we’re the same.

“ready?” is all he says before i walk out and before him, biting my lips as i start our trip down the stairs and out the apartment. the receptionist isn’t there, probably sleeping in due to the blue haired boys antics earlier this morning, so i put my apartment keys on the counter. i don’t mind it they get taken.

the train station is only a walk away, and i spent half of it reprimanding myself. why was i awake? why was i walking to the train station? why was he here? i don’t miss them.

i seemed to slow down in my self deprecating thoughts, or i forgot how fast a walker yeonjun is, but either way i’m surprised when his mich taller body is beside mine. i don’t know where it came from, but he had a bag as well. it was much less stuffed than mine and looked like it only had a clothes and maybe a toothbrush in it. he never did keep a lot, physical objects that is. he lied a lot, though. even when he didn’t mean it.

“you said they were gone!”

“i thought they were! and i warned you through the earpiece!”

yeonjun crossed both arms over his chest, iconic white tank showing off his biceps in the movement. the cut on your arm and stomach spoke otherwise, and my teeth clenched as i stepped up to him.

“you warned me that someone was in the hallway. not coming into the room. also!, you told me i could handle the job when you knew i was going to puke when i stepped into that room.”

“but you didn’t?!”

“i didnt because i was already caught before i could.”

“well it was either you vomit and clean that up with the rest of the mess or-“

“or you clean it up yourself?” i lost my temper and pushed him a little, he raised his arms in a surrender stance even though he was not backing down.

“you were already there and if i stayed to clean we wouldn’t be alive right now.”

“maybe if you stayed to clean you could’ve saved me from that fucking guard!”

i knew the others were listening through the door, taehyun probably more annoyed we had locked ourselves in his and yeonjuns shared room than because we were fighting. yeonjun says under his breath,

“god you’re so sensitive,”

“huh? speak up, you know i hate when you mumble, say it to my face you son of a-“

there was a knocking before my brothers voice cut through the aggression like a chainsaw.

“can yous stop? we want to sleep. the missions over, we got our reward. now open the fucking door!” another bang shook the door.

i left without another word and ran to my room.

a sigh comes from his rose painted lips as the morning sun beams down at us. the sky’s half orange and blue, and luckily we were walking towards the darker side of town. he sighs again.

“what.”

he smirks, “i forgot you don’t like mornings.”

i ignore him. my gut tells me he’s trying to get me to forgive him by recalling all the things i shared with him, all the things he learnt about me. he didn’t know everything though, because if he did he’d know how to break my heart in two. but i guess he knew enough to break it anyways.

“um. i feel bad for asking but, do you have money for your train ticket?.. and mine?.” he has guilt and hesitance laced in his voice. i look up at him, badly cut hair falling off my cheekbones.

“are you that broke?” when he just looks down i feel my own guilt build up. i don’t say sorry though, instead, “yeah. i have enough.”

we wait on cold steel seats for the train. theres gloomy lighting over head and it nearly lulls me to sleep once again. a huge chunk of me is screaming to run away again, just like i did a year ago, and a smaller chunk is telling me it was the right decision. somehow the smaller piece was out weighing the larger one. i rub my eyes for the fifth time that sitting, and sigh quietly to myself, questioning my sanity. though it wouldnt be surprising if i had lost it. 

yeonjun left a seat between us, but i can still feel his stare.

the train whirrs and stirs, the age of the transportation evident. the posters that are encased in glass on some of the train’s steel walls are dated and pale. it reminds me of myself. it’s a long distance train, meaning that seats are grouped with barely stable, nailed on tables for people to study, put luggage, or in my case, stare at.

the train ride back to the old apartment is 3 hours or more, i can’t really remember. all i know is that yeonjun sitting across from me, elbows on the table, in this desolate part of the train is a sight i never thought i’d see again. i only look at the table, avoiding eye contact like a nervous little kid. i did that when i first joined as well. scared the boys would send me back just by a look. 

our shoes touch under the table and he immediately sits up, i tuck my feet back under myself and he quickly apologies quietly. it’s awkward, and a year ago i would neck myself knowing this is how we would act around each other. from needing to touch to scared to make contact at all. i almost forget i had a knife to his throat 6 hours before hand.

we’re 15 minutes in when he decides to talk.

“so, do you have a job?”

“used to, before you came.”

“oh.”

i hate being callous and rough with my words, especially towards him, but the never ending feeling of danger when he’s around pushes me to say whatever comes to my unkept brain. i change my attention to my bag beside me, tugging and fiddling with the straps until it somehow ends up in my lap like a makeshift shield. for some reason i keep talking. maybe its because i know how much yeonjun hates when there’s nothing to say. 

“i know you said that everything went to shit at home,” i called it home, even when it never felt like one, “but uh. how has it been?”

yeonjun looks at me surprised i’m initiating the conversation. but at least i’m not asking about him personally. we go underground suddenly and now the only thing helping me see his drained face is the electronic, somewhat flickering train lights.

“well, it really did go to shit. taehyun had periods where he wouldn’t come home, going out drinking with the money we tried to save,” he looks at me as if to check i was still interested and listening, and of course i am. he started the tangant with my brother. he continues, “and hyuka screams at us and even tried to hurt himself. he thinks it’s his fault and i mean, i don’t understand why he thinks that.”

kai told me how he feared he would die on the job, how he knows the only way out of it was to run, and how he feared the same for me. and it got into my head. so yes, i did leave because of him, but it wasn’t a fault. i nod for him to go on, keeping my eyes down. i now realise how much my confidence in talking or going against yeonjun has gone down. maybe it’s because if i break him anymore he’ll be erased.

“soobin, he went out and decided the only way to get money was to do what we always did, fight. but for some reason he did it himself. he’d come back with injuries i’d never seen before, money, and enemies. one of which took…”

“beomgyu.”

“yeah.”

i bite my lip and look to my fiddling thumbs that are now placed on the table between us , our hands only a ruler away. i sigh through my nose without meaning and he looks to me again. i can just see him biting his own lip, and looking up with now glassy brown eyes.

“it really has gone to shit.”

“and what were you doing?”

“trying to find you.”

once again a blanket of guilt and devastation covers me, as my left foot decides to bounce. if yeonjun were beside me, and i was still at home, he’d stop it with his hand on my thigh. i look out the window, but all i see is dark blur. the worry i buried for beomgyu when yeonjun originally told me he was taken was still reaching the surface of the grave. beomgyu was the most fragile and dependant on us. ever since kindergarten i knew that he let people walk over him like he was merely a carpet for wiping their feet. his lunch was always taken, his pencils snatched, and i was always the one to get them back. he was like the little brother i never had. instead when i got home i had to deal with two older brothers who didn’t really care. taehyun less than the other. the other left. the taste of toothpaste is wearing off as i ask,

“and you were talking about blackmail?”

he takes a deep breath at the question before nodding, and i wait for him to go on, actually looking up at him now, but he seems hesitant, and instead says, “you should try to go to sleep, you look tired.”

“yeonjun.” i know saying his name and his name alone effects him. makes him feel pressured and as if he’s at fault. i’ll only use it on him if i really need to. and i probably didn’t need to this time, but i was stressed. forgive me.

he presses his lips together, looks around to see if anyone had entered our part of the train and nods again.

“the blackmail was on everyone, but it was things we already knew about each other. like kai’s father being an ex celebrity and my own brother being a powerful lawyer. but yours and taehyuns? it was confusing to say the least.” he explains with a puzzled expression.

i just looked at him with slightly burrowed brows waiting for him to go on. he looked at me with caution, probably because it was the first time we made eye contact in hours, before asking,

“do you have another brother that you didn’t tell us about?”

my eyes widen and my mouth dries up in an instant. i shiver inside and stay silent in shock for a couple seconds.

“taehyun didn’t tell me anything. he won’t tell me anything.”

“was that it? that i have another brother?”

“… yeah.”

i lean back in my seat and hold a hand over my sewed shut mouth, the other one gripping at the fabric of my shorts. my knuckles turn white and my eyes gloss over for the second time this morning, before i take a deep breath. they can’t know him. he died. yeonjun gulps and reads me like a newspaper.

“hey, it’s okay that’s all it said. nothing like they knew where his body was or anything-“ he cuts himself off, realising how shitty that sounded. “sorry.”

millions of question shout at me, heart picking up pace. how do they know my brother? is he alive? how did they know who to contact? why did they take beomgyu and what do they want? i sigh and rub at my eyes again as if it’ll wipe the thoughts away as well. but they cant be when the only other person around me answers one of them.

yeonjun leans forward, licking him lips for an instance before nervously continuing.

“they want you. you and taehyun. they said it’s either you two go see them or beomgyu gets..” i finish his sentence in my head and it takes everything in me not to sob on the spot. no time for that. now i know why i was so persistent with myself to go with yeonjun. maybe it was for the best, or maybe i was just following the path to my depressing fate.

now i’m especially tired. my eyes feel like they’re being pulled down by gym rats, my skin feels tight and uncomfortable, and all i want to do is sleep and wake up in a plush bed. i can’t even specify where, why, if the bed’s even mine, because i’ve never had one that had created a mould just for me. maybe it’s for the best, because i feel if i let something create a mould of me i’d get too attached and sink into it, forever laying in the warmth. my head leans against the vibrating window, it hurts my head, but at least i don’t have to hold it up anymore.

“go to sleep, y/n.”

we were driving back from a mission that was a few hours away, even beomgyu had to come and set up his computers in the van. my mind replayed the scenes of the crimes, blood painted on the walls, glass stuck in the bodies of the rich, the red metallic liquids pouring from each and every one of them. i was squeamish to say the least, but i got used to it. i reminded myself that the people they hurt deserved it. corrupt rich men, cheating spouses. we were hitmen, but not evil.

i stared blankly at the vans floor, huening kai and taehyun helping each other wipe blood of their skinny faces, beomgyu talking about how he was the worst at driving, yet he was behind the wheel. soobin was in the front passed out, small and cute snores escaping his unconscious face. how i wish that was me. how i wish i could sleep as peacefully as he could. 

“go to sleep, y/n.” yeonjun put his hand on my shaking leg, taking me out of my comfortable trance. i smile at him lazily, wiping my thankfully clean hand over my dirty face, dragging my skin down. “i’m serious. we have a few more hours until we’ll be home. take a nap.” he smiled, tapping his bare shoulder. he was the perfect height for me to rest comfortably, but was it comfortable for him? i never understood how a man who could hurt, torture and kill so easily could show me love with the same amount of effort? it felt terribly wrong to think of him as the person i trust most, the person who has the highest death rate than anyone else in our gang, the person who leaves me god awful scenes to clean and seem like an accident. 

“aren’t you tired as well? you do much more work than me.” i ask, and he smiles down at me, rough fingers dragging a piece of slick hair away from my cheeks. it makes me even more sleepy, his calming face, his touch. scent. skin. everything. “especially this mission. i think i used three bottles of bleach.” he chuckles and i place my head on his shoulder.

“you know i can sleep anywhere. especially with you around.”

for the first time in months, i laugh a little. it only lasts a second, but it feels good. except for the fact i was laughing at myself, not at something funny. it makes yeonjun’s creased forehead and unattractive frown soften, continuing to bite his lip. he still cares even when i threatened, insulted, and basically told him i didn’t love him anymore. which was shitty, i know, but i was angry, and.. i don’t really know if i meant it.

before i decide to sleep, we leave the tunnel, and the morning sun coming through the other side of the rusted train highlights yeonjun away from everything else. his white tank, red shorts, pale skin and injury. the cheekbones that seem much more noticeable and his collarbones that stick out of his skin make it look like his skeleton hurts. his head too, and probably his heart. of course, the hair dyes definitely washed out, making it look like he’s gone swimming a few too many times. when i look at him, i wonder what happened to him. he’s weaker, skinnier, struggling. i wonder if i’d still be comfortable for me to rest my head on his shoulder, if his chest would still drown out his heartbeat or if it was thin enough to let it all out. i wish it did. i wish i could tell how he was feeling at all times. i think that’s what made me fall asleep earlier than i planned, without the fear of nightmares, the sound of his heart beat, the thought of his body as my bed.

i’m screaming, crying, wailing, sobbing. i’m clutching onto my side, kicking my feet, shaking my head. i’m shivering, writhing, bleeding. my vision has been tampered with by tears and fatigue, blood loss no doubt. yeonjun is there, trying to calm me down, trying to take my hands away from my injury, trying to help me. i think he’s crying, yelling, maybe even bleeding as well. and i want to say sorry but my throat is closing up and i don’t know if i can even survive anymore.

“y/n, please calm down, please-“

“taehyun- wheres taehyun- taehyun!?”

“he’s fine y/n! he’s perfectly fine, but you’re not. do you hear me? now let me help you.”

“please.” i need to run.

i jolt before blinkly wildly, luckily yeonjun’s asleep. his mouth is agape giving him the appearance of a gold fish, and his hair is fallen again. my bags made my lap hotter than i could imagine and the sun that previously provided me with a clear picture of yeonjun is now just climbed over the trains window. i arch my back in a stretch and let a sigh escape me. and as i’m grabbing a drink out my bag, a sense of excitement and immense anxiety plummets on my body, making me want to run around the train and merge with the trains seat at the same time. 

im gonna see them again. huening kai might offer me coffee again, soobin might tell me off for stealing his blankets if i stay long enough, and taehyun might look me in the eye and talk to me. will they remember me? ive been gone for so long it feels like i’m just a memory to them and that they are the same to me. can i even remember their voices? their scent? what beomgyu’s favourite flavoured milk is, soobins favourite video game, taehyuns favourite dinner and huening kais favourite place to be alone? i find it hard to remember even the layout of our apartment. it was big enough for all of us but not big enough to feel like we all had private areas or rooms. do i remember the street name? loosing all of this memorised knowledge feels like a part of the mountain that is me is falling in an avalanche and im too slow to catch it or run away from it. oh god, and what if they’re not happy to see me? i ruined them. i’m the reason they’re split and stopped being active. stopped caring for themselves and being able to live the lives they deserve. suddenly i tell myself that i am so selfish. so self centred that i ran away when i was at the bottom of the card tower that we were all placed on. i ran away when my brother was struggling to continue on, when beomgyu was still recovering with the first abduction. hyuka still hadn’t seen his father for years, soobin hadn’t opened up to me. i left before yeonjun and i could even tell eachother we truly loved eachother. instead all i got were memories that were similar to the ones you make in highschool, distant ones with people you think you’ll spend the rest of your life with. and when i look back on them i realise who and who didn’t really care. i convince myself none of them did, not even yeonjun, which is a incomprehensible thought.

yeonjun wakes up, pushing me out of my thoughts. i try to think if i made a sound or movement that would’ve woken him up. but i guess he always did know when i was in distress.  “did i wake you?” 

“no. its just uh, the train lady just said our location was only half an hour away.” 

i nod and look out the window. we’re going under and ontop of desolate towns, busy cities, until the plains of farm look too familiar and the roads look to similiar to the ones i remember, we pass the hospital that is also too familiar to me. he, like me, looks indenial that this is happening, and i remember that he used to call us the perfect pair. oh how childish he was.

taglist: @hyeunfae @raevyng

safe ☆— sim jake

synopsis ➔ a night out turns short when someone you deeply dislike tries to talk to you.

pairing ➔ fem!reader x bf!jake

genre ➔ angst, lovers to even better lovers, fluff

word count ➔ tba.

warnings ➔ reader has a douchebag ex, drinking, allusions to the devil’s tango, sexy jake and not so sexy ex, swearing, intended lowercase

a/n ➔ ehe. of course i had to write this trope at some point, and of course it had to be with jake. sorry this is bad btw i pulled most of it out of my asshole. have fun !!

‘you look perfect baby, stop fiddling with your hair.’ jake’s thigh squeezes your thigh across the car’s console when he notices the sun viser being lowered and the mirror being opened every 30 seconds.

‘i’m meeting your brothers at a business party. how am i supposed to be calm right now?’

‘by reminding yourself you’re the most perfect, loving and beautiful woman in the world?’ he lifts his eyes from the road and shoots his signature smile at you, and it makes you redden.

his hand is placed on top of your red silk dress as your matching red heels tap on the floor of the car to the beat on the radio. you won’t deny you’re looking particularly outstanding tonight, you look invincible and feel it too. it goes well to match with your partner, sim jake, who too looks incredibly amazing in a jet black suit and dark red tie just to match you. he spent 5 minutes finding it just so you guys could look good, knowing presentation matters to you.

entering the large centre, the scent of expensive perfumes and red wine explodes, causing you to slightly grip at his sleeve. your arm is woven into his as you walk - more like he walks and you drag along - toward who you assume are the other sim sons. they look nearly as handsome as jake and people could probably mistake them as triplets, not only by looks but personality.

‘james, jaxon, this is y/n. my partner.’ he smiled wide as he somewhat presented you to his brothers. they shake your hand one by one as you bow, careful to place a hand on your chest to cover your deep cut dress.

‘wow, there was definitely a theme when naming you three.’

the night goes on, laughing, drinking. and as you here more drinks clink together, you finally decided to address the burning stare that wasn’t coming from your own boyfriend. all night you felt stares, which was normal, but it was off putting and uncomfortable.

‘you feel it too right?’ jake’s voice is hushed in a whisper as he bends down to ask, his slicked back, dark brown hair falling down to curtain his dark eyes. you look up, placing a lip between your lips and nodding. he smiles reassuringly and places a hand around your waist. ‘let’s go get a drink, then we’ll leave okay?’ you smile and walk together to the bar, sitting down on the stools and ordering two last drinks.

‘i think you just look too pretty, everyone can’t take their eyes off you.’

‘i don’t think anyone has that problem except you.’

‘oh you know me so well.’ he smiles and leans in for a kiss, sliding a hand to the small of your back as his soft lips plant onto yours. the bartender breaks it with a cough, announcing the presence of the drinks. ‘sorry.’ he smiles sheepishly and slides your drink to the table in front of you.

after a long sip, he whispers, ‘i’ll go say goodbye to my brothers, while you stay here and continue looking pretty.’

you smile and nod again, eyes following the handsome man before you turn your attention back to your drink.

your attention is quickly caught by another hand on your waist.

you quickly spin your head around, and suddenly a weight plummets down onto your shoulders and stomach. your ex is there, and you can’t believe he works for the same sort of company jake works for.

‘y/n…’

‘jesse..’ you reply monotonous.

‘you look amazing.’ you silently snarl and swat his hands away from your waist, turning towards the bar to show disinterest.

‘i know, my boyfriends already told me.’

you notice his face turn sour and you smirk, taking a sip of your drink and praying to the gods that he leaves. the atmosphere tightens as he places a hand on your shoulder and swipes your bouncy hair off your shoulder.

‘don’t touch me dickwad-‘

‘woah woah woah kitten. i was just helping you.’

‘i’d rather peel my skin off, honestly.’

he takes a quick breath in before displaying an ugly smirk. he places a dirty hand on yours and you stand up immediately, chair scraping the floor and bringing attention to you and your ex.

‘i said don’t fucking touch me.’ now, the scent of strong alcohol reeks off of him, and you can see his half lidded eyes. you search for jake with a gulp before jesse grabs your wrist, tight.

‘she said don’t touch her.’ jake rips his hand off yours and pushes him into the bar, leaving the man utterly shocked and scared at the deadliest stare a man could give. ‘fuck off.’

you widen your eyes at jake as your ex begrudgingly leaves, staring at you both as the attention dies down. the crowd was probably used to it, sadly.

jake grasps your shoulders and pulls you to a quiet part of the centre, he looks over your with panic in his eyes, mouth slightly agape as he scans you for injuries or bruises. ‘are you okay? did he hurt you?’ he asks, gulping and pushing some hair behind your ear softly.

‘i’m fine jake, he didn’t hurt me. he was just being a dick.’ you answer with a shaky breath. jake looked as though he didn’t believe you as he did another look over. the encounter made your shoulders tense and your head hurt, all you wanted was to go home. and he understood that without a word exchanged.

jake leads you out to the car park, trying to find where he parked the car as he speaks.

‘i’m so sorry that happened baby. did you know him?’

‘he was my..’ you sigh, ‘… my ex.’ you admit. he turns his head and stops both of you in place.

‘him? your ex?! oh, baby, no. how could you possibly be with him?’ he places his hands on your waist and you rest your own on his biceps.

you half laugh-half internally cry at his questions, knowing yourself that you had stooped too low in that era of your early 20’s. ‘i know. i can’t believe i was so blind to date jesse.’

‘jesse!? oh god and he has a lady name.’

‘hey, his name was the only redeemable quality about him. but trust me, i found way better guys than him after we broke up.’

jake frowns, ‘who?’

‘you, dumbass.’ you giggle and laugh, happy that the only hands touching you now were jake’s, it almost erased the dirty feeling completely. he smiles and leads you to where he guessed he had parked, whispering an oh, good.

as he takes your hand in his, you whisper,

‘thank you for saving me. i mean, i could’ve done it myself but thank you.’

‘i know you could’ve. but my emotions got the best of me. who could let a beautiful woman get touched up by some random guy?’ he chuckles and kisses you on the forehead as you keep your head down to hide a blush. even though you two have been together for months over a year, he still made your heart flutter.

‘i always feel safe around you, i hope you know that.’

‘that’s always been my goal. to make you feel safe.’

## taglist — @i520sn @raevyng @enhacolor

masterlist | taglist