Xena: People Always Ask Me, Xema Howd You Bag A Baddie? Howd You Get That Baddie?

Xena: People always ask me, “Xema how’d you bag a baddie? How’d you get that baddie?”

Xena: Bro I didn't bag shit.

Xena: Gabrielle picked me up, put me over her shoulder and I've been there ever since.

My very sweet and VERY Catholic coworker: this new abortion law… they’re saying God doesn’t believe in killing the innocent babe to save the wicked mother…. Well I have some news for them about what he did to his own son.

Me: oh my god.

Her: honey. Exactly.

by popular request, more of the better star wars that exists in my head ft. old dinluke [ID in next reblog!]

din and luke decided to take a little vacation from their parenting time, so they manage to have babysitters aka din’s friends to take care of their children

luke, gucci glasses on: so... yesterday cara watched grogu and rey. who is taking care of them today?

din, with a colorful poncho on his shoulders: boba and greef

luke, stopping their walk, taking off his glasses: you left our children with the most dangerous bounty hunter???!!!!

din, nodding: and greef

Rey:*counters kyle ron with a beskar plated staff* Emo fuckhead:”what the-” Rey: “I’m a mandalorian motherfucker”

Mando Rey and Jedi Finn supremacy

ningguang: hey I need you for another job

yelan: yeah ofc who do you need me to assassinate

ningguang: no no you’ve got it all wrong I need you to flirt with me to make that stupid pirate jealous

yelan: …you want me to make beidou jealous that’s not really the kind of work I do

ningguang: no I hate beidou now lets go down to the crux I’m supposed to meet beidou for a game of chess