Caliborns Session Consists Of Pool Ball Planets He Has To Sink In Order...

Caliborn’s session consists of pool ball planets he has to sink in order...

...Saving the 8-ball planet for last.

Similarly, Lord English is destroying dream bubbles and cracking paradox space in a procession, seeking to destroy Calliope:

UU: now he is completely obsessed with finding my soUl and wiping me oUt for good, even if it means tearing apart the reality that sUrroUnds Us. UU: he will never feel he has won Until all traces of me are gone.

And where is Calliope?

In a dream bubble resembling an 8-ball, the final ball to sink in order to win the game.

The Retcon Timeline

Timeline includes events that actually happen, plus what I suspect will happen.

I am almost certain this is wrong, but it's a starting point.

Some notes:

Calliope must be from a non-LOWASplode timeline, where John is present on the golden ship. (MINISTRIFE is optional, since that happened in a dream bubble.) Her knowledge of events comes from this timeline, which she most likely learned through Skaia's vision clouds. Some events she could have learned from Rose's book, but it doesn't seem like John passing out on LOWAS would be something found in the book.

Caliborn is from a non-LOWASplode timeline, as well, because he rips that page out of Calliope's book.

Unless Caliborn's monitors can show events from any timeline, Caliborn must be witnessing events from a timeline where Erisolsprite is Jake's sprite, Arquiusprite is Dirk’s sprite, John is dead, and the kids get trapped in the house Juju and trap the Lord English fusion in Lil Cal. (Caliborn does seem to be aware of John’s ring going missing, though. Hmm. Yeah, it’s pretty likely he can view all timelines, what with being a Lord of Time and all.)

The Caliborn who becomes trapped in Lil Cal apparently has no idea who Arquiusprite is. The Alpha Kids, too, although that’s ambiguous enough that it’s open to interpretation. I’m not sure what to make of this. It’s possible the Caliborn who witnessed this event is making an assumption, but... I dunno.

I'm having difficulty placing both the Green Sun's destruction and the Third Scratch on the timeline.

Right now it seems like Vriska stealing the Green Sun's light will happen in a timeline where everyone's alive and well. I think the purpose of its destruction will be:

To destroy Paradox Space à la Big Crunch,

To hinder the Green Sun powers of Jack Noir (and presumably Lord English),

To create a breach for the heroes to escape both Paradox Space and also the Third Scratch (similar to the kids escaping through the hole in the Fourth Wall during their Scratch).

The kids need to be around if #3 is going to happen.

I have a feeling the Third Scratch is meant to happen in a timeline different from the one where Caliborn et al. are trapped in Lil Cal. Mostly because Dave and Caliborn both need to be around. (Remember the "whilst the pimp's in the crib" prophecy.) I suppose time travel is possible after Jujutrapped (retcons, probably not, since John's trapped), but that would mean these events happen in a doomed timeline, and that doesn't really make sense.

I get the impression the Third Scratch is meant to occur in Caliborn-who-made-Homosuck's timeline (or a branch), but I can't make sense of that either.

The answer to all of this is probably another retcon and timeline branch somewhere. But, just... no. My head already hurts from all this. I’ll sort it out another time.

Muse of Space: Rise up.

UU: . . . yoU have already spent a long time gathering intelligence Unbeknownst to the aUthorities.

  !CALLIOPE: my soul would have to wait here. !CALLIOPE: for what felt like a very, very long time. CALLIOPE: wait for what? !CALLIOPE: you. !CALLIOPE: echidna told me that your visit would be my signal.

UU: how mUch more do yoU expect to accUmUlate even if yoU coUld stay Undetected? UU: and how mUch strategic advantage is left to gain by delaying yoUr discovery for mUch longer?

  UU: as i told yoU earlier, my brother is hUnting for me. so i have created a little sanctUary in space to stay hidden from him. UU: . . . he is highly sensitive to my presence, so it is very easy for me to get his attention if i'm not carefUl.

  CALLIOPE: this is it then, is it? CALLIOPE: am i to spend the rest of eternity hiding inside this vortex? CALLIOPE: how can i go in search of myself if i am blown to smithereens the moment i set foot oUtside? CALLIOPE: maybe the trUth is... CALLIOPE: sUch a fate woUld be preferable to this. CALLIOPE: i am so dreadfUlly lonely. u_u

  UU: i say the time to make a stand is now!

  UU: make yoUr presence known. let them see that the [mUse] is awake, and make it abUndantly clear what that means.

[T]hose in the territory of a good cheru8 will likely come to view it as a protector, waiting quietly for millenia in deep space, ready to attack any encroaching threat.

UU: perhaps it is their tUrn to be nervoUs? to cower in the shadows and live in Uncertainty?

UU: i mUst remain hidden from everyone for as long as i can. TG: why? TG: why not come out and be all like TG: here i am yo its me! secret weapon ghost callie ;)

UU: that is my advice. do with it as yoU will.

!CALLIOPE: live.

7/3/15 Upd8

I knew it! I totally knew it!

TWO NANNASPRITES! Which means both Jaspers AND Nanna tagged along on LOWAS and survived the retcon. Which makes it even more likely that the other sprites---particularly Davesprite---did too.

Also, Nannasprite seems to be pre-retcon...

NANNASPRITE: Yes, I tended to him and his sister for several years, baked for them, lent a sympathetic ear when needed...

NANNASPRITE: It was quite freeing in a way! I had a wonderful three years on that ship with those lovely children. I thought little of what challenges were ahead.

So the other Nannasprite is post-retcon.

John the Wizard

Remember after the Trickster arc (A6A5A2), how the story returns to A6A5A1? Caliborn yells at Hussie for going "BACKWARDS BY AN 'ACT'." He thinks the Trickster shenanigans were "erased," to which Hussie responds:

What are you talking about? I didn't erase it. It was still a thing that happened. Do you really think I have the power to make something unhappen?? I would have to be a wizard to do that.

Well, it turns out someone does have that power:

Which means John Egbert is a wizard.

John already has plenty of wizard allusions:

DISREGARD THE UNIMPORTANT MALE GHOST BEHIND THE CURTAIN.

An obvious reference to the Wizard of Oz saying, "Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain."  

JOHN: let's all go see a big pompous wizard to solve all of our problems.

JOHN: we didn't realize it at the time, but there were still a bunch of problems waiting to happen. [...] JOHN: but don't worry, i'm working to overcome all those problems right now. JOHN: that's why i'm here!

  Frigglish bothered his beard, as if unkinking a hitch in a long silk windsock. [...] As a matter of fact, his cadre of fellow wizards were all putting similar moves on their beards as well.

Thanks to John's god tier hood (wind powers help, too), others (mostly Roxy) continually mention windsocks with reference to John.

ROXY: im all ears johnny windsock

Even the Magician's Hat John wears as part of his "Clever Disguise" and the Bunny Sassacre Fedora---one of the first items he alchemizes---are wizardly.

  One of the very first snippets of information we learn about John is that he's "an aspiring AMATEUR MAGICIAN." While it appears to mean a magician in the sense of an "entertainer who is skilled in producing illusion by sleight of hand, deceptive devices, etc.," a magician is also a "person who is skilled in magic" or a "sorcerer"---in other words, a wizard. Couldn't it mean both?

If Heir is indeed the passive counterpart to Witch, both classes who "change, manipulate, and control (with/through) their aspect"---which I like to call the Magician Classes---wouldn't that make the Heir of Breath a magician or wizard, anyway?

John and others continually refer to John and his abilities as "magic":

EB: everyone i know is turning magic, it's ridiculous. EB: including me! i'm magic now.

("Everyone" specifically alluding to Jade and Rose, an actual Witch and a Seer with the inclination toward Witch inversion.)

John calls his retcon abilities "weird retcon magic," and describes it as "some kind of surreal, history altering... reality hopping... magic power.” Roxy calls it “magic ‘fix literally everything' powers.”

Although John aspires to become a SKILLED MAGICIAN and a CUNNING PRANKSTER, he is “neither of these things” for most of the story.

At first, John has no control over his magic powers (first wind, then space-time jumping retcon abilities). However, eventually he learns and masters his powers, becoming a SKILLED MAGICIAN.

JOHN: i've noticed whenever i learn to do new things with my powers, it's usually in response to something. like something important that has to be done.

JOHN: i learned how to turn into wind and swoosh around about a year ago. [...] JOHN: i thought for sure i was a goner, when suddenly i poofed away from his tentacly grasp like houdini's slippery ghost. later i rematerialized to seize the tactical advantage!

JADE: he dispersed every drop throughout existence

JADE: leaving a little mark for anyone who might notice, signifying his final mastery over his confining reality

Thanks to his powers and Terezi's scarf instructions, John becomes a CUNNING PRANKSTER, as well.

JOHN: i am like the ultimate prankster now... nanna would be so proud!

Previously, John was neither a skilled magician nor a cunning prankster. Now he is both.

John, a magician, the wizard with the “power to make something unhappen."

Bonus points for shipping fodder: Roxy LOVES wizards.

John = Wizard. CONFIRMED.

Jasprosesprite^2 looks like Rose’s dream self because princess.

Jaspers + Eldritch Princess + Rose. Rose is the princess of Derse’s moon. Her dream pajamas are princess clothes.