I Remember Making A Post About How Anger In Recovery Is Normal (especially After Abuse), But I Think

I remember making a post about how anger in recovery is normal (especially after abuse), but I think the reason so many people are afraid of their anger is because of the way anger has been weaponized.

I used to feel almost... proud that I "never got angry" and I thought that made me a more empathetic, understanding, and well-rounded person. What I didn't want to accept was that I did feel anger, but it was wrapped in so many layers of fear, shame, and anxiety that I couldn't properly feel it. I was afraid of anger because it was weaponized against me for years and years - I blamed my mistreatment on the emotions I assumed my abusers felt, rather than blaming their actions and the way they felt it was their right to treat me like that.

I think that's a really common thought process for victims/survivors. I think so many of us are blinded, understandably, by the fear of anger that we prevent ourselves from even considering that we deserve to express ourselves if we are angry. Obviously, this is a generalization, but it's a trend I have noticed within myself and some others and it's important to address it because: you shouldn't be proud of being unable to register or emote how you are doing. Anger is neutral, and it is not inherently harmful. I know we've been hurt, but that doesn't mean we deserve aspects of our humanity to be stolen away. You deserve to feel anger because you are a person, because it is a natural, neutral emotion that we all have. I hope you are able to feel the full breadth of your emotions with no shame or guilt - you deserve love.

are there any mystreet fans left on this app still? if so then hello i come bearing gifts :)

The Ballad of Bella Buttons (based on a true story)

Ok but I'm begging you to consider Garroth Ro'meave who is so extremely guilty by nature and instead of seeing Laurance and Aphmau 'betray him', Lillian's goes into his subconscious and projects an image of Zane, without the priest regalia, distraught and asking Garroth why he abandoned him with their father, asking if he wants Zane to end up like Vylad, that he was so happy to see his big brother alive after his supposed death and doesn't ever want to part from his side. And Garroth, who so dearly wants any kind of connection and family gives in too easily. Survivor guilt and older sibling guilt Garroth Ro'meave.

For some reason I always had the headcannon that Aphmau is infertile in Mystreet. I don't even know where it came from, but it is interesting.

She wants kids, she loves kids, she's always had this grand dream of a huge family. But she can't have it. Ever, no matter who she chose as a partner(s).

She finds out right out of college during a routine check-up, what causes that is up to interpretation, because it doesn't matter.

She's devastated, she's crying herself to sleep every night for several months, she wasn't planning for a family anytime soon, but fuck, it stings, and it feels like acid every time she visits family and there's dozens of kids around, kids she can never have herself.

It's why she acts so motherly to all her freinds, cooking for them, comforting them, being a constant shoulder to cry on to those that need her, a selfish reason to be that way. But no one would ever know that.

Add Aaron to that, he wants the same thing but can't have it. Any kid he had will pass on a curse that could lead to all of them being hunted, it's better if he doesn't.

Then you have a couple that desperately wants kids of their own and can never have it. Unless they adopt (which they do, eventually, but even that weighs on them.) And they become the group parents, taking care of everyone both because they care, and it scratches that part of their desires they feel they can't ever have.

Even if she chooses Garroth or Laurance, she still wouldn't have that. It literally wouldn't matter, she'd still be longing.