Die With A Smile

⏤ die with a smile ࣪ ⤹

after a horrible nightmare, seungmin wakes in a panic. you comfort him.

꒰ kim seungmin + gn!reader ⏤ 2.2k words ꒱ oneshot

༄ content info & warnings !! apocalyptic au. established relationship. hurt/comfort; angst and then fluff ⋆ depictions of major character death (don’t worry everybody lives). zombies. violence against said zombies. seungmin disassociates a little.

✉️𓂃 ࣪˖ gmc if you see this… no you don’t! anyways, this is inspired by die with a smile by bruno mars & lady gaga, hence the name. originally this was going to be wayyy longer & much sappier, but i don’t know if anybody would wanna read allat. with that being said, lmk if a pt 2 is wanted! enjoy :) feedback is always greatly appreciated!

Seungmin tries to shout, but all that comes out in place of his voice is a hoarse, desperate whimper as he tears down the highway as fast as his legs will carry him. His throat clicks dryly when he swallows and he finds himself growing nauseous at the horrified panic that is beginning to settle in the pit of his stomach. He ignores it and presses on.

His limbs grow heavier with exhaustion at every pounding step he takes, but there's no time to pay the burning in his calves any mind as he wildly races over the decaying asphalt. His focus is fixated solely on his lover just up the road, who is ruthlessly cutting down a disgusting horde of revived corpses with an old axe.

Adrenaline courses through Seungmin's veins as he finally nears the cluster of the zombies swarming his partner. Without a second thought, he rips a pistol from his thigh holster to aim just as you catch sight of him with wide eyes. You duck with a gasp right before the sound of gunshots reverberate loudly through the air, leaving the gory skulls of three zombies pierced right through the center a breath later.

Seungmin grimaces at the remaining handful of cadavers dazedly turning to limp in his direction - set off by the noise, no doubt. Thankfully, you had taken care of most of them before he'd arrived, leaving the weakest of the horde for him to deal with.

Seungmin pays careful mind to you as he kills off the last threats, conscious of how much ammo he uses. When they all fall limp to the ground and no longer twitch with cognition, the two of you pause with bated breaths as you await another possible ambush.

A beat passes. Another, and another - nothing comes. Seungmin's shoulders sag in relief, and the overexertion suddenly slams into him like a truck now that the adrenaline is beginning to seep out of his veins. The realization is quickly wiped from his mind, however, when a warm, sweaty body collides into his own, completely encompassing his figure in a bone-crushing hug.

He feels the relieved sobs that drench the shoulder of his worn jacket before he hears them when you bury your face there, inhaling his musk. He's sure he doesn't smell pleasant, but Seungmin doesn't have the heart to push you away and make a stupid joke about what just happened. Nobody is promised tomorrow — every day spent on this earth, apocalyptic or not, is an austere reminder of that.

He's pulled away from the ceaseless ramble of his mind when you look up with a sniffle, eyes rimmed red with tear tracks adorning your cheeks. Seungmin gazes back in silence and softly rocks the two of you back and forth, his palms rubbing a soothing tempo into the dip of your shoulder blades. Neither of you speak; your actions are more a conversation than any words could be at the moment.

You clear your throat after a moment of simply taking in the slopes of his facial features, brushing away a stray lock of hair that drapes over your eyes. "That was close, yeah?" You murmur, stepping away on shaky legs. Seungmin doesn't comment on the way your words tremble and nods in lieu of response, adjusting his thigh holster as he eyes the horizon.

"The next city is about five miles out," he sighs with a grimace. A strong gust of wind threads through his hair, and you shiver beside him at the unbidden reminder of the dropping temperatures due to the approaching winter. Seungmin notices and easily shakes off his jacket without hesitation, pushing it into your chest as he ambles back whence he came.

"Let's get the car," he calls over his shoulder as he walks away. No pair of footsteps follow his own, so he assumes you’re simply standing to put on the jacket before walking. "I don't know if we'll have enough gas to make it in one trip, but it should be alr-”

A scream rips through the air and something primal flips instantaneously in Seungmin's brain. He whips around, pupils dilating in alarm, to find an undead plastered against your back with its rotten teeth sunken deep into the flesh of your neck.

Seungmin would've stood and balked if his instincts didn't kick in. Instead, he finds himself bolting back to you with his gun in hand once again. It takes him two seconds to aim and shoot, precisely killing the zombie they once believed to be dead.

But it's two seconds too long; the virus is swiftly spreading through your body. The infection is already becoming glaringly evident near the bite mark: your once beautiful complexion now grows deathly pale, and the skin surrounding the wound is beginning to raise and turn a harsh shade of purple. Seungmin feels the blood draining from his own face as he draws to a stop, panting in disbelief.

He's a few feet away when his arms fall limp at his sides, gun still in hand, leaving him to simply stare. There's nothing to do. You’re crying again, this time in silence. Seungmin distantly feels teardrops trickling down his own face, fat and hot and ugly, but he takes in the sensation from a place seated deep in his mind. It feels like he's watching the scene unfold through a windshield from the backseat of a car, where he's strapped into a seat and too fuzzy to properly move.

He blinks. The movement is slow, he notes. That's not right, though, because he's never slow. Everything feels muted and distant — this can't be real, right?

Seungmin shakily croaks out your name, frozen in place. His gun drops forgotten to the pavement below as he helplessly watches your body begin to twitch and the infection mark pulse. His heart squeezes painfully in his chest while his stomach drops somewhere far below the lowest depths of Hell.

You say something back, but your voice is too small to carry across the distance that yawns between you two. His breath stutters and he moves to step closer despite the danger. He just wants to hold you one last—

"SEUNGMIN! Dude, wake up?!"

Seungmin jolts upright with a gasp, gaze flying in a startled search around the room as his chest heaves. He kicks the covers off his legs and springs up, trying to ground himself with the familiar, suffocating stench of burnt wood that begins to overwhelm his nose. He's sweating, he realizes, as he leans against the wall and focuses on finding an even breathing pattern.

It takes him several moments to calm down, and once he comes back to himself he realizes you’re gently rubbing circles into the small of his back while whispering reassurance into the quiet of the room, sans your shared low breaths and the crackle of the fire.

Seungmin slumps to the floor with a fatigued groan, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes. You crouch down beside him and pat his arm in sympathy. "Nightmare?" You frown, moving to sit beside him.

A wave of nausea rolls over him at the reminder of what had him so worked up in the first place. "Yeah," he huffs as he drops his arms, lips pulling into a tight line as he mulls over how to explain the dream best.

"We were traveling like usual," Seungmin starts after a moment of collecting his thoughts. You sidle closer, attentive despite your weariness from your lack of sleep. It's currently your shift to keep watch, but Seungmin accidentally cut his rest time short all thanks to the absolutely wonderful dream he had. What a sick joke.

"For some reason we had been separated. When the dream started, I was running to you down an old highway. You were fighting off an entire horde by yourself, and I was nowhere to be found.

"When I finally make it over there, I help you take down the few that were left — we wait a bit, like usual, you know, to see if they're actually dead. Nothing moves after a while, so we hugged out of relief. You could’ve... died, you know?” He breathes, before shaking his head and continuing.

"You cried on me," he says, a faint smile tugging at his lips. This one, though, isn't one of glee. He goes on, "It's almost winter in this dream. There's a cold breeze, so I give you my jacket and I head back to the car which was where I came from.

"But as I'm walking, you don't follow," he says, fighting against the way his throat threatens to close up again. "I just assume you're putting on my jacket. But then you s-scream, and I turn and you're—”

He doesn't notice the tears clouding his vision until one falls, and he winces in humiliation. "Sorry, I know it's dumb, but it just felt so real and then you got bit and I watched you turn—"

"Hey, hey," You worriedly mumble, intertwining their fingers. You squeeze hard, and Seungmin welcomes the pain because it keeps him barely tethered to reality. You clamber into his lap, cupping his thin cheeks in your palms and swiping away the stray tear. "Min, I'm right here with you. I'm alive, okay? We're safe right now."

He wraps his arms around you, burying his face into your neck as more tears escape him and soak your skin. "Nobody's promised tomorrow," he gasps out between sobs, recalling how he thought the exact same in the nightmare.

He feels the way your frame slumps against his own, presumably at how devastated, how heartbroken, how lost your lover sounds. "I know," you can only whisper sadly as he continues to cry. "That just... it just means we should love each other like it's the last night we'll ever have, right? We s-should," you sniffle, your own tears building up, "cherish each moment together, even in this hellscape."

Seungmin only bawls harder. You fall silent after that and let him get it all out — it's not often you two have such solace in a space this soundproof and secure to stay in for the night, so now is a good opportunity to be free in volume. Neither of you are sure of when the chance will arise again.

When the brunt of his cries eventually quiet down into occasional hiccups, you push off of him and dab at your drenched neck with the hem of your ratty tee while passing him a canteen of water. He takes it gratefully and sips, careful of overconsumption; it's better to save it for more dire situations.

While he drinks, you find your seat beside him again. The two of you stay there side by side for a while, just admiring the flames as you both get lost in your respective thoughts. Seungmin is the first to break the silence after who knows how long.

"If the world hadn't ended, do you think we would've had a meet-cute or meet-ugly?"

The question prompts a giggle out of you as you cocks your head to face him. The melodious chime of it brings a grin to Seungmin's face, too, and he thinks — no, knows — it's a sound he'll never tire of.

“A meet-ugly for sure. I used to work at a café, so maybe you could’ve been a customer that I accidentally spilled hot coffee all over. Mm, yeah,” you say with a nod. “And then I would’ve been at a loss on what to do after that, so I’d try to make it up to you by buying you dinner?"

"That's awfully detailed," he snorts, and you smack his arm in playful reproach. "You put some thought into this?"

You roll your eyes, an exasperated smile tugging at your lips. “Duh. After ten years of wandering around an apocalyptic world together, your mind tends to think of everything as time passes.”

“Meh, meh, meh,” he mocks you playfully, just to ignore the mushy feeling forming in his chest. “Just say you’re in love with me at this point.”

You flip him off with a scoff, but scoot closer anyway to press your weight against him and rest your head on his shoulder. Now that he thinks about it, neither of you have ever actually spoken the words aloud. Like, ever. Which isn’t really a surprise — there’s no need to verbalize what’s between you two when it’s glaringly obvious in both of your actions already.

But something gnaws at Seungmin. The words itch in his throat, threatening to spill off his tongue now that the moment is so tender and the night is still. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, right? So why not do everything he’s capable of while he walks this earth?

“Hey, baby…”

You continues to stare at the fire, eyes beginning to droop as you give a quiet hm? in response. He can tell sleep is beginning to creep up on you, lulling you into a rare calm and drowsy state, but he doesn’t mind.

“I love you.”

You mumble something sleepily in reply. Seungmin is sure you heard him, but he’ll simply tell you again when you’re more lucid in the morning. And again, when the two of you pack up and continue the trek to whatever location is next. And again, he concludes, for the rest of his days.

After all, every day he wakes is truly a blessing, despite the wretched curse the world has fallen under. So, why not make the most of what time he has, right?

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Die With A Smile

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