Chapters: 1/1Fandom: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sun & Moon | Pokemon

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sun & Moon | Pokemon Sun & Moon Versions, Dear Evan Hansen (2021), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pokemon - Fandom, Dear Evan Hansen Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Hanako | Delia Ketchum & Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Mizuki | Selene & You | Elio (Pokemon Sun & Moon), Satoshi | Ash Ketchum & Elio | You, Satoshi | Ash Ketchum & Selene | Mizuki Characters: Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Mizuki | Selene (Pokemon Sun & Moon), You | Elio (Pokemon Sun & Moon), Hanako | Delia Ketchum, Red (Pokemon), Leaf (Pokemon), Yuuki | Brendan, Haruka | May, Kouki | Lucas, Hikari | Dawn, Mei | Rosa, Calme | Calem, Satoshi no Gekkouga | Ash Ketchum's Greninja Additional Tags: Angst, Out of Character Ash Ketchum, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Song: So Big/So Small, Ash Interacts with Game Protagonists, Songfic, Ash Ketchum is Angsty about Pokémon Leagues, Delia Being a Good Mom, Mizuki | Selene and You | Elio are Twins (Pokemon Sun & Moon), Satoshi | Ash Ketchum Needs a Hug Series: Part 3 of Pokémon Alternate Summary:

What if I fail again? What if I fall short, just like I did in Kalos? What if I’ll never be the very best?

Ash sat on the grass outside of Professor Kukui’s house. He had just finished an intense training session with his Pokémon. His Pikachu ran up to him, and cuddled in his lap. Ash slowly stroked Pikachu, thinking about all of the past leagues which he battled.

He thought about the Indigo League, where he suffered a humiliating loss, because Charizard refused to obey him. He thought about the Sinnoh League, when he was only able to defeat two of his opponent’s Pokémon, with Pikachu fainting as a result of a draw. He finally remembered the Kalos League; he was so close to winning! Even when his Greninja became Ash-Greninja, even though they had a type advantage, they still couldn’t defeat Alain’s Charizard. All those times, he hid his sadness, he hid the insecurities that he had and kept an optimistic face. He hid everything. He couldn’t tell them, he couldn’t tell them anything. The light in their life would’ve gone out if he told. This is why he kept quiet.

However, everything was going to change.

What if I fail again?

What if I fall short, just like I did in Kalos?

What if I’ll never be the very best?

I sat on the grass outside of Professor Kukui’s house. I had just finished an intense training session with my Pokémon. My Pikachu ran up to me, and cuddled in his lap. I slowly stroked Pikachu, thinking about all of the past leagues which I've battled.

I thought about the Indigo League, where I suffered a humiliating loss, because Charizard refused to obey me. I thought about the Sinnoh League, when I was only able to defeat two of my opponent’s Pokémon, with Pikachu fainting as a result of a draw. I finally remembered the Kalos League; he was so close to winning! Even when my Greninja became Ash-Greninja, even though we had a type advantage, we still couldn’t defeat Alain’s Charizard.

All those times, I hid my own sadness, my own insecurities, and kept a happy face for everyone. I hid everything. I couldn’t tell them, I couldn’t tell them anything. The light in their life would’ve gone out if I told. This is why I kept quiet.

However, everything was going to change.

”Ash!”

I turned around and saw a familiar face. A younger boy ran up to me, rapidly waving his hand. He was wearing almost the same clothes as I did, but wore a black hat rather than a red one. His hair was just above his shoulders.

Elio. Another friend that’ll battle in the League with me. Another friend that I’ll disappoint.

”Ash, your mom’s calling you! Hurry, Selene’s trying to keep her busy as much as possible!” Elio shouted as he turned towards the house. “C’mon!”

Pikachu and I followed Elio closely behind until we reached the house. We were greeted by Selene, who gave us a quick wave, before handing me the phone.

Selene. Like her twin brother, she’ll battle in the League. I’ll somehow manage to disappoint her too.

”Hey, Mom!” I said as Pikachu hopped onto my shoulder, making me forget about my worries. I made myself comfy in a chair.

”Hello Ash, it’s been a while...I’ve missed you!” my mom responded. “How’re your preparations for the League going?”

Shoot.

I went silent, completely clueless on what I should tell her. The worries that I let go of seconds prior were all scurrying back to me.

Should I say that my preparations are going well, and not make her worry? Or should I tell her what’s wrong, and...

”Ash? Are you still there?” Delia asked, with a hint of worry. “You were silent for the last five minutes.”

FIVE MINUTES?!

”Mom, my training is going really well!” I quickly responded, trying to silence the hint of worry in my voice and sound authentic. I'm telling the truth; training was going really well. All of my Pokémon are the best that they could be! But...

”Ash, what’s wrong?” Delia asked me, seeing through my determined facade. “You haven’t been yourself ever since you started training for the League.”

Uh oh. I thought I was able to convince her that everything's fine!

”W...what...er...who made you think that?” I stuttered as I tried to piece my words together.

”Selene told me while I was waiting for you to come,” Delia responded.

WHAT?!

”She said that you didn’t seem like the person that you were before. She said that you stopped acting like yourself while you were training. You refused to eat, you didn’t sleep, and you didn’t seem to talk to your friends in the past few days. Everyone’s worried about you, Ash.”

”That’s true,” I admitted. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. This always happens before I take on the Pokémon League.”

Stupid Selene. Why does she have to say everything?

"This is extremely concerning, Ash. This has become a bad habit of yours for the past few leagues. This isn't normal; you're going to destroy yourself like this,” Mom bluntly stated as I grew uneasy.

Why can't she get off my back? Everything's fine. This always happens. I'll always lose. I'll always-

"Ash, I’m going to ask you again. What’s wrong? You can tell me anything and everything. I’m not taking no for an answer.” Mom insisted as Ash heard her clench to the phone.

”Mom...” I began. I looked around, making sure that no one was spying on my conversation. No one’s supposed to know this!

Elio and Selene were still in the room, gazing away from me and shifting their weight from one foot, to another.

"Get out! Shoo! Shoo! This is meant for my ears only!" I shouted as I chased them out of the room.

After ensuring that no one’s around, except for Pikachu and I, I began.

”Mom, I’m a disappointment. I’ve been losing League after League, no matter how hard I prepare, I always fail!" I confess as the memories come flooding in.

Kanto, top 16.

Johto, Hoenn, and Unova, quarterfinals.

Sinnoh, semifinals .

Kalos, finals.

"My friends are all here, eliminated in rounds before me, hoping that I can be their light. I’ll never be their light! I always lose, in the most disappointing ways possible!" I cry out, as more memories scurry back to me.

"Ash, you can defeat him with a team as strong as yours!" Leaf encourages me before the battle.

Charizard took a nap, making me lose the battle. I bet Red and Leaf wondered how Charizard could disobey me.

"C'mon Ash!" I hear Lucas shout in the crowd. "Show Tobias who's boss!"

I was beaten to a pulp, only knocking out two of Tobias's Pokémon. He and Dawn probably thought that I was pathetic.

"Ash, you can do it!" Rosa cheers in the crowd as I face Cameron. "He only has Riolu...er...Lucario left!"

I managed to get crushed by the inexperienced trainer. She probably thought I was an idiot.

"Ash, Greninja has the type advantage against Charizard," Calem informs me as I pass by him. "Use it against Alain."

Alain defeated me with Blast Burn. I bet Calem still wonders how I lost.

"They ‘congratulate’ me for making it ‘so far,’ when deep down, I know that they’re disappointed in me.” I admitted as tears filled my eyes.

"Wow, 'congratulations.'"

"I wish you could've won, though."

"At least you did your best!"

“They’ll probably leave me in the dust, and forget about me once they see my weaknesses. They all probably look at me and think, ‘Wow, he’s such a coward, he can’t do anything right!’ Maybe they’re right. Maybe I’ll never be the very best.”

I was at the phone, trying to dial Red's number. "Hello? Hello, Red? Are you there?"

He didn't pick up.

I tried to text Brendan and May.

They haven't responded in months.

"Wow, you're such a kid."

"You're such a bad trainer."

"Why do you have to be so dense?"

"You'll never amount to anything."

At this point, I was bawling like a small child, with tears and snot running down my face. Pikachu tried to comfort me, rubbing his tiny paws onto my face, but it was all fruitless. He then curled up in my lap. I hear a push, and I turn around to see a box of tissues. I pick it up and wipe my face. Mom was silent during this time, until I calmed down a little.

”Ash, let me tell you a story about your dad and I,” Mom offered, in hopes that the story would help.

”It all started in a cold, February day. Your dad was preparing to leave, not for a while, but for good. You and I never thought that this day would come. When it did, I told you to not come out, but you did anyway.” She told me.

”I remember that day,” I said, smiling a little. “You and Dad let me sit behind the wheel. It felt rubbery and made my hands smell weird. I remember saying, ‘Machamp Movers, where moving makes you feel like a MACHAMP!’”

She laughed a little as well, and then continued the story. “After we said our last goodbyes, it was just you and I. You had no dad to look after you since he lost custody rights, it was just me. I really wanted to make it count, but with me not knowing how sad you felt, I guess I didn’t.”

”But Mom,” I protested, tensing up. “You’re the best mom that a son could ever have!”

”You can say that,” Mom responded, “but I didn’t feel that on that day. On that night, after I read you a few bedtime stories, you tugged my shirt, and asked me, ‘Will another truck come to take Mommy away? Will I be all alone?’”

I listened silently, for those words paralleled to how I felt right now. Will I be left all alone? Will my friends forget about me after we part ways?

”When you said that, it was then I knew. I knew that there would be moments that I’ll miss, and moments where I won’t always be the best mom. And I knew that I’ll make a billion mistakes along the way. And I did. And I do. And I will.” Delia said. “On that February night, I assured you, ‘There isn’t another truck in our driveway. No one will take me away.’”

I smiled as I held the phone in my hand. I felt better than I had before.

”Ash, it’s okay to make mistakes. With each time you lost the League, you got closer and closer to achieving your goal. That shows you’re learning from them. It’s also okay to feel scared or sad from time to time. You shouldn’t bottle up these feelings,” Delia advised. “And about your friends, if they leave you whenever you’re going through a tough time, they’re not real friends. If they stick by your side no matter what happens, you know that they’re true friends. When Selene told me about what happened, I figured that she really cared about you. She’s a real friend. I also received calls from some of your other friends, wishing you good luck. See, Ash, all your true friends love and care about you a lot, they didn’t leave your side even after you lost.”

I finally began to understand. I remembered that even after all of the fights that I had with my friends, at the end of the day, we made up, and were closer than before. We stuck by each other in crucial times, and we all cared about each other a lot.

”Thanks, Mom, I needed that,” I said, with a big smile on my face. “I love you.”

”I love you too, Ash,” Mom responded, sounding satisfied. “See you at the League.”

We both hung up. I held the phone for a while, thinking about my mom’s advice. I then put the phone back.

"Ash..?" Elio whispers as he peeks through the doorway, with Selene peeking through as well. "Is everything okay?"

I would've been angry at them, had it not been for this call.

"Everything's fine! For real, this time!" I respond.

"We didn't know you felt this way," Selene confessed. "We figured that something might be wrong, so we hid nearby after you chased us out."

Whoops. They must have heard me crying as well.

"So did you hear me-" I begin to ask, before getting cut off.

"We heard you cry, but that's okay!" Selene admits. "It's good that you let out all of your feelings!"

"Ash," Elio says as he goes on his tippy toes to squeeze my shoulder, "If you need to talk about anything, you can just tell us, okay?"

"Okay!" I respond. "You can talk to me about anything as well!"

After reconciling, Selene suggests, "How about we go outside? I think we all need that fresh air before the League tomorrow."

We all run outside. I dig into my pockets for the five Pokéballs which my team was concealed in. I threw them into the night sky, and they all came out. Elio and Selene did the same.

”Tomorrow, we’ll go in, and either win or lose. Either way, I’m feeling psyched for the League!” I exclaimed to my friends. “Everyone ready?”

”YEAH!”

Even if I lose again,

Even if I come up short,

I’ll never give up,

And be the very best,

Like no one ever was.

Day 2: Bee

A beekeeper Chloé for the @maybeequeenchloe event! Inspired by the post @trainsinanime made about Chloé becoming an urban beekeeper. I love the idea of her repurposing the hotel roof for this new hobby.

Ugh.

Me: *blocks the word "smut."

Post: *contains the word "tranSMUTation."

Me: *blocks the word "noncon."

Post: *contains the word "NONCONfrontational."

Me: *surprised Pikachu face*

thoughts on the friendzone

when i was 5 years old my best friend was a boy named kyle who didn’t know how to knock on doors so he made dinosaur noises outside my window to wake me up in the summer until i demonstrated how to ball his fists and slam them against my doors.  we collected caterpillars in my trailer park and built them houses while we traded pokemon cards.  he wasn’t the only one.  there was ben, and mitch, and noah—but kyle’s the only one who hurt me, because when he tried to kiss me and i asked him why, he told me “because you’re a girl and i’m a boy, shouldn’t we like each other?”

i missed him so much and i wondered why he couldn’t just be my friend like he always was

in the first grade there was rich and joseph and i got sent to detention with them almost every day with a smile on my face.  we built block towers and sang to my teacher’s lion king soundtracks when she’d turn the lights off during lunch time.  one day they got in a fist fight over me at recess, and i wondered why they felt they needed to share my friendship, like it was something they owned.

in the second grade zach and i played yu gi oh under our desks during free time and i got moved for talking to him constantly.  everyone in the class would tease him and i for talking, asking when we were going to date already, asking him if he’d kissed me, and he stopped being my friend.

when i was 11 i met a chubby boy with the name of a colour who wore puffy vests and unwashed t-shirts, with greasy hair and bright blue eyes and a smile that hid hurt behind it.  people didn’t like him because he was silly, but i liked him, because i was also silly.  he became my friend the day he bought me 5 giant roses and asked me to be his girlfriend, and i politely declined but promised him i’d be his best friend because i’d always wanted a best guy friend that stuck around. we burnt our feet on the concrete during the summer and walked home with the sunset silhouetting us.  he talked often about how he loved me, but never blamed me for being me, even though he refused to move on. that boy dyed his hair jet black and sat on the end of my bed playing songs to me on guitar, and all that pent up rage from before didn’t show until the first time he slapped me across the face and called me a dumb cunt.

in the 7th grade there was a boy named ryan who sat next to me on the bus and talked to me about manga.  he’d ask me personal invasive questions but i didn’t mind because it was attention and i liked attention.  i was dating another guitarist with curly brown hair, one who was much more kind-tempered than the other, and ryan mentioned how much of an asshole he was every day.  i wondered, why, why does he think the love of my life is an asshole?  but whenever i asked him, he just told me, “girls only date assholes.  there’s no room for nice guys like me.”

i wondered, if he was so nice, why did he say such mean things?

he never stopped with me, taking me to movies, hanging out with me, you know.  being friendly.  i thought we were friends.  but then, how many times had i thought that before?

how many times had i bonded with a boy, thought they got me, only for them to ask me if i wanted to make out?

how come when i told ryan i was coming out as a lesbian, he stopped being my friend, and said “damnit, the one girl i really want to pound into a mattress, and she’s only interested in chicks!”

there was a boy my junior year who stayed up all night with me until the sun rose, talking about life, past loves, hopes, dreams.  beneath a million twinkling stars spanning forever, he brushed long brown hair out of his eyes and listened to me talk about the history that made me. then he asked me if i’d ever consider dating a guy, and complained about how he’d never get laid.

when i told him no a couple hundred times, he found new girls to listen to.

i would sit on the couch and play zelda with dakota, and he’d talk about all my favourite games with me.  he was the closest thing to support i had, and the letters and poems he wrote me were always so kind and friendly.  but he’d put his arms around me on the couch, and no matter how many times i told him i was uncomfortable, he’d still come over every day and do it.

“don’t you know how it feels to love someone and not have them love you back?  don’t you know what it feels like to be friendzoned?”

when i meet guys who talk about the friendzone, who talk about the girls who don’t give “nice guys” like them i chance, i always want to just say

when i was 10 years old i met a girl whose brown hair fell across her shoulders and whos eyes sparkled when the sunlight hit them, whose voice was like velvet and whose scent was like mountain smoke, who made me dizzier than a fly climbing a sugar hill.  and i’m 18 years old, and i still love her, and she knows, and she doesn’t love me.

but my first thoughts upon hearing her rejection were not “what a bitch,” were not “she just wants a douchebag and not a nice girl like me!” were not “im going to keep pushing her until she dates me,”

they were

“she is the best friend i have ever had, and i am the best she’s ever had, and i would hate to take that away from her.”

so before you play the victim, mr. Nice Guy, before you angrily throw your fedora on the ground and blame the girl you claim to adore so much:

put yourself in the shoes of a girl who thought she made a wonderful friend, only to find out that he just wanted her for sex.  that he just wanted her for a relationship.  a girl who was just an object to win, a prize.  a girl who’s trust you’ve just shattered.

maybe she friendzoned you.  but you girlfriendzoned her, first.

Concept

An artbook with EVERY. SINGLE. MINUTE. THING.

For example, an author includes a drawing that they did on the back of a receipt, a drawing they did on a piece of wood, etc., etc.

They include a drawing of the character which they made when they were four.

They include drawings of the character's limbs.

They include how they made their character's outfits in games like Animal Crossing.

They include swabs that they find that remind them of the characters.

They include clothing patterns.

They include a real person/animal photoshopped to look like the character.

They include real pictures that have their characters photoshopped/drawn into the scene.

They include a skeleton/anatomy diagram that gets real freaky if the character isn't humanoid (think a skeleton of Kirby).

They include replicas of props that they make for their characters.

They include the specific way they set up their desk when thinking of the character and/or are inspired by the character.

They include character-themed playlists and include what they were designing when each song was playing (ex. for You Belong with Me, they were designing the character's sneakers).

They include the rock that resembles their character in some way.

And by the time this artbook is done, it's over 1,000 pages long. AND there's a digital version that goes into EVEN MORE DETAIL (because they were running out of budget and they needed to include the rest of the content SOMEWHERE).