Is It Normal To Feel Guilty For Being Proship? Like I Know Its Honestly Not That Big Of A Deal But I

is it normal to feel guilty for being proship? like i know its honestly not that big of a deal but i suppose ive just been listening to antis too hard and now i feel like im broken for believing in what i believe in. they keep talking about how being an anti is normal and if i disagree then im weird. am i overreacting :sob:

Being an anti is not any more normal than being a proshipper and as a proshipper the sole reason you feel guilty is because of the pressure and harassment antis direct at you, which is their goal.

Be unapologetically proship. If they are entitled to their beliefs and are unapologetic in their misguidance, then you are entitled to the same claim to normalcy.

No they aren't.

Genuinely. Not every single micro-space within a fandom needs to allow you to address or think about negative or unsettling or stressing points. At all. I am part of some servers for fandoms where even critical discussion of the source material is banned because the sole point of the server is to be an exclusively positive space.

Even discussions of politics that apply to that fandom.

I am actually begging some people to just let some spaces exist untouched by real-world issues and horrors.

Like I've lost count of the amount of times peaceful game or fandom servers have been ruined by people stampeding in with political rants, bitching about world issues, demanding internal activism, demanding vent channels so they can whine about their shitty parents, ect.

Like. Respectfully. Not every single space has to be inclusive of and welcoming of outside topics. The real world sucks. We don't needed to be reminded of that absolutely everywhere.

Very specific question, but do you (or anyone else) know of how to get rid of that nagging feeling of sharing everything you create?

I'm a writer, both in the fanfic sense and of my own stories. I'm also proship, but nobody I care about knows that fact due to be so severely anti to the point of me mentioning the discourse (to test the waters) gets a blatant "proshippers aren't human beings and should kill themselves".

I really want to write a small fic about a problematic ship (young child x older person) that I don't even actually like! I don't ship it, though I don't care if other people do. But I'm fascinated by the idea of it, the possible dynamic, because it's very popular in the proshipper circle of the fandom and it's been nagging at me. The problem is that I write and then want to share it. Writing for myself feels.... Wrong, almost? But I cannot share it with my loved ones. I had previously already suggested writing a similar idea to a very close friend and he was severely disgusted by it, asked me if I was genuinely considering writing it and I had to very quickly play it off as a joke.

And I know the next suggestion will be the proshipper side of the fandom, but sharing my work online for others I don't know to see makes me personally uncomfortable, which is a major shame.

(I'm not even going to touch the fact that your "loved ones" think people like you should kill themselves.)

But. A good way is to treat them like an assessment opportunity. Make a copy of each piece and use something like Google Documents to annotate and evaluate what you've written. Move all of the originals into a secondary folder.

Not only will this help improve your writing in the long run, but it somewhat changes the intent of the literature from something written to, at its core, be shared, into a personal resource.

There's also the option of making new friends. You don't have to go out and gather people up like a squirrel with a winter store, but even just one likeminded person whom you can get to know well enough to feel comfortable sharing your work can help sate that need to share and engage with someone about what you create. You can send your content to them privately, then, rather than uploading it for the masses.

But. I would just gently like to say that perhaps its not the need to share that you need to reflect on and try to negate. If you have to ask how to stifle yourself so that your loved ones don't think of you as inhuman meat that needs to be slaughtered, perhaps you're asking the wrong questions.

https://www.tumblr.com/myfandomrealitea/751296525323370496?source=share Screaming from the rooftops "WANTING THINGS IN THE PROPER AREAS IS NOT CENSORSHIP"

i agree with your "some spaces should be drama free" thing fun is a human need entertainment needs to be valued just as much as anything else with no fun, mental illness can sprout or get worse can't pour from an empty cup let people engage with politics when they are able to forcing it causes burn out and misery which is no help to energy its why anti behaviour is so toxic bringing politics into things that are supposed to be fun, and upsetting everyone including themselves

We've placed such an obligation on addressing and trying to fix or hold ourselves accountable for the negative aspects of things that we've essentially barred ourselves from unadulterated happiness and positivity.

I probably sounded like an ass to the person who mentioned "fandom politics" as a reply but it was just such a blatantly unnecessary comment that really proved my main point. People are so hammered into the belief that if we don't constantly force ourselves to acknowledge something that we are The Problem or making The Problem worse.

Even if the source content has problematic or questionable aspects, you are simply not obligated to acknowledge it 24/7. You are entitled to enjoy it either way. You are entitled to at least one space regarding it where you simply don't have to think about it at all.

Not sure if allowed, but I wanted to reply to the anon that asked about giving their incestuous characters a good ending:

Yes, you'll get scorn for portraying it at all, but also people should be smart enough to be able to tell that positively portraying incest is just... Characters experiencing their lives?? Weird shit happens! I certainly don't know your plot but I can sure believe that incest can happen if you so write it - because shit happens. Two siblings having a positive incestuous relationship means nothing in reality itself; they're just characters. That do incest. And are happy. That's all there is too it.

You're not "glorifying" anything. It's that age-old discussion of perspective: write it from the perspective of the siblings, or someone in their environment that supports it, and it will be positive. Write it from the perspective of perhaps their parents, disgusted and horrified, and suddenly it's not so "positive" even if the siblings get a happy ending.

I wish you the best of luck for the story, though, anon, no matter your choice. Remember that having fun is more important than this bullshit and prioritize your health at all costs!!

You make a good point about reading from perspectives. All too often people fall into the trap of reacting to a story as The Reader, and evaluating the story from the perspective of The Reader rather than recognising the actual character perspectives the story is written in and for.

Far too many people insert themselves into books as the personal perspective within it, when for a not insignificant portion of literature the actual point is that you are supposed to be inside the character's life and mind.