When Somebody Asks Me Why I Still Listen To My Chemical Romance

when somebody asks me why I still listen to my chemical romance

me trying to enjoy something: ☻

my brain: you can’t enjoy this because you aren’t skinny

me: ☹

From my music recording class

ed-things nobody talks about

(some things I experienced when my ed was really bad when I was 16-17. It’s not all fun and it’s not like the cute thinspo-posts you see here everyday)

hiding food in your pockets, shoes, socks… while eating with others

forgetting that you were hiding the food in these places (oh the smell)

friends, family … finding the food you were hiding

trowing away the food someone you loved gave you

making people cry and constantly worry about you

being upset when people give you the bigger portion (do they think you eat that much????)

being upset when people give you the smaller portion (do they think you are fat and that you should eat less????)

drinking to much water before a doctors weight in so you feel like you are peeing your pants

the pain after the laxatives kick in

being afraid to put chapstick on (because you know, it’s made out of fat lol)

not going out with frieds, because there is food everywhere (you will regret it later, because everyone went clubbing and now that you are healthy they are not into that anymore, aka missing out your youth)

freezing when people around you wear a bikini

not being able to get pregnant, although you recovered

heartproblems, although recovered

struggling with hormone-production, although you recovered

having bad teeth, although you recovered

having problems with your bones, although you recovered

having problems with your nails and hair, although recovered

the need to take medication your whole life because of a few years of having an ed

loosing your sexdrive

being afraid to fall asleep and never wake up again

not being able to stop, even if you want to

Edit: If you reblog please don’t use tags like pro ana because this post is clearly not pro and I also don’t want to get deleted once again ♡

Pls explain to me why it’s such a crime that I ate ONE nacho and now my friend is mad at me?