This Was Put Up In My Local Shopping Centre It Scared Me Half To Death

this was put up in my local shopping centre it scared me half to death 💀

You know, for all the many faults Labour has, there are some very funny people working on their digital campaign.

I need to stop opening this app in public places

I was lying on the floor thinking about this moment (as usual):

And I suddenly remembered THIS MOMENT:

And now I think I need to lie down harder, holy shit.

BLITZ IS SCARED OF LOSING STOLAS. HE IS SO SO SO SCARED OF LOSING STOLAS.

"Am I not, like, fucking you good enough? Because I can—I can always do better" HE JUST REALLY DOESN'T WANT TO LOSE STOLAS

"You don't have to stay here with me" *Looks at Stolas with the most vulnerable and terrified expression in the world*

HE CANNOT BEAR TO LOSE STOLAS. HE WANTS STOLAS TO BE ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO ARE NEXT TO HIM WHEN HE DIES. HELLO? IS THIS THING ON, CAN ANYONE HEAR ME!!!??? BLITZ WANTS TO SHARE HIS LIFE WITH STOLAS, HE WANTS STOLAS BY HIS DEATHBED!!!!!!!! AND NOW HE FEELS LIKE HE HAS LOST HIM!!!!!

*passes out*

i was watching hometown showdown and my 14yo sister who has never heard of dnp came in and was like "can i watch" and i was like yeah sure whatever these guys are named dan and phil theyre competing on whose hometown is cooler. and she just DESTROYED them she sat through that video and just criticized them so hard i was crying by the end of it it was hilarious

before she even heard them speak. before i unpaused the video. she was like "are they gay they look super gay". i was like yeah girl 😭. then they walked down the street and she was like "they look like they walked into a thrift store and just grabbed the first clothes they saw. but not like a cool thrift store. like savers old lady section" GIRL???? then she was like "love the black hair dye phil its not like your eyebrows are invisible. you look like a dollar store twilight vampire" EXCUSE ME GIRL PLEASE. PLEASE. they went to the temperance bar and she was like "they look like they would get drunk on one sip of beer and then make out on the table at a party and get cancelled for it" i was like where are these insults even coming from. whats happening. when she saw their skinny jeans she just looked at me and said 'really?'

also unrelated but when they went into the theater in winnersh and dan started explaining the rules of his acting game she was like "WAIT WAIT WAIT this is so cute is he gonna propose??" and i was like HUH??? she genuinely thought it was a proposal video 😭😭😭 she was like "the papers could say like, me proposing lovingly" i was like wow high hopes here. and then she was like "which one do you think would propose. obviously not the BLACK haired one he looks like he cries at romcoms"

her final review of the video was "that was just one really long weird date where they wore ugly clothes and what was even the point bc they didnt get engaged at the end"

MY final review is that i should watch dnp with her more often because oh my GOD she was so funny i was literally screaming im not even remembering all the hilarious things she said

time for the annual arty fighting party 🥳