I'm Telling You This Because I'm Struggling With It, Too.

i'm telling you this because i'm struggling with it, too.

stop second guessing and doubting yourself. stop getting imposter syndrome while writing. stop comparing.

i know it's hard to stop, and this is a process i always struggle with. but it's awful when you get tunnel vision, seeing all the plot holes and every little grammatical error made. i open my wip's sometimes, and get such bad anxiety that i can't even write, because i'm so scared. it literally doesn't make sense, but it happens.

but learn to love what you write. grow attached to your characters, and write whatever you want. write for yourself first. and no matter what, whether it's one word or sentence that you wrote that day, be proud of yourself.

self validation and self care comes before a completed novel or mesmerizing characters.

<3

i hate it when she says “no,” like her word is final. but with every goodbye i give, she offers amends. have a good night, she ends, even after every fight.

money, the taboo topic no one dares to touch on, is nonexistent. yet, she works long hours, back breaking, head aching, so that her children can eat without worries. don’t worry about the money, she insists, i’ll take care of it.

thousands of miles apart, we used to fight like cats and dogs, and i still can’t swallow down my pride in front of her, insistent on winning. except when she calls me and tells me, encourages me, not to worry, guilt eats at me.

can i rewind the last few months? change my own mind?

this is love: complicated, emotional, unconditional. the love of a mother.

[buy me a kofi]

i hate it when she says “no,” like her word is final. but with every goodbye i give, she offers amends. have a good night, she ends, even after every fight.

money, the taboo topic no one dares to touch on, is nonexistent. yet, she works long hours, back breaking, head aching, so that her children can eat without worries. don’t worry about the money, she insists, i’ll take care of it.

thousands of miles apart, we used to fight like cats and dogs, and i still can’t swallow down my pride in front of her, insistent on winning. except when she calls me and tells me, encourages me, not to worry, guilt eats at me.

can i rewind the last few months? change my own mind?

this is love: complicated, emotional, unconditional. the love of a mother.

[buy me a kofi]

I KNOW I'VE SEEN WPDL GROW AND DEVELOP THAT I FEEL LIKE I'M ITS GODMOTHER

no lmao but in all seriousness, i'm so glad you're still working on it! and i genuinely hope the archives respond soon, that's awful that you have to wait for it )): YES. books are so helpful! lots of them have really good insight to history - though you're right, documents are much, much better

14.5k WHOOOOOOO! oh God, I understand the not-so-fun filling in part haha. AND YES. "this love" by ts is so, so good. all the nostalgia vibes (also august by her EEK).

it's nice that you're bouncing back and forth! wish i can say the same... it's hard to get into writing once you're outside of it in a way, so i've resorted to drabbles somehow. i'm really hoping i can start my myth & folklore research up again soon, and start outlining!

I'M SO GLAD LIFE IS GOING WELL! it suddenly got SO cold here, it's unreal. pumpkin patch! no way! i love thattttt. and AHHHH. CONGRATS ON YOUR PROMOTION! so well deserved. and i hope the wedding went well!

TELL ME HOW WHERE PARADISE DIED AND LIVED is DOING bc last i remember it was still in the research works and i was so invested and then i disappeared but i missed it so HERE I AM

also let me know how you've been! and how life + writing has gone! <333

HI AVE THANK YOU FOR ASKING ABOUT WPDL YOU KNOW IT'S MY BABY

I'm still working very slowly but surely on it! It is currently at 14.5k words and I'm still waiting for the Archives to respond to my request (bureaucracy strikes again 😭) BUT a new book came out a few weeks ago that I bought right away and it more or less answered the question I was wondering about anyway, so I'm somewhat satisfied—I still want to get that response for the official documents though!

I've written quite a few of the most important scenes, which leaves all of the not-as-fun filling in to do, hence the reason for some slow down. I also got sidetracked for a hot minute in writing an essay on how "This Love" by Taylor Swift is the ultimate theme song for Sophie lmao. (Haven't finished that either yet, typical.) Literally did not touch any of my other WIPs in all of August just to focus on WPDL and was super productive; then I felt a good refresh and recharge to go back to BHE, so I've been bouncing back and forth between them in the last couple weeks.

As for myself, life is going well! I'm luxuriating in the proper arrival of fall and cooler temperatures! I'm going to a pumpkin patch this weekend! I got promoted at work! And last week I went to my best friend's wedding as her maid of honor!

Thank you for checking in my sweet friend! 🥺 <3 xxxx

OMG IVE BEEN BUSY BUT GOOOOD

HOW ARE YOU HOW IS WRITING

SANA IT'S BEEN SO LONGGGG ))):

HIHIHI OMG HRUU

This is a callout post.