You're Allowed To Be Weak. At Least With Me. It's Okay, Akk.

You're allowed to be weak. At least with me. It's okay, Akk.

THE ECLIPSE (2022)

I love the three World Remembers gays. They are effeminate, visibly queer and by far the bravest students in the school. And I love that in this episode we got to see them outside school with their boyfriends. Characters like this are usually treated solely as comic relief in dramas. They never have love lives of their own because they’re supposed to be obsessed with shipping the main characters. But these three are so different because they play an important role in the story. They are rebels. They are protestors. They are the only people standing up to the authoritarian administration. I really like to watch how our main characters react to them. I feel like (aside from Ayan), it’s a mixture of discomfort and envy.

There’s this scene from the first episode of Kan having a moment of yearning, followed by internalized homophobia and moving away from Thua:

And then we see the gang pass by happy and carefree, carrying their protest signs. 

Kan and Thua watch them, and Kan makes this remark: 

I think its so interesting that this is right after he chastised himself for getting too close to Thua.

In episode 5, right after Thua has been verbally abused by his stepdad in the car, he walks into school to see the gang being bullied by homophobes. There’s such a contrast between Thua and these characters because they stand up for themselves. 

It ends up making Thua more depressed.

Ayan is friends with the gang and supportive of them. I loved this moment from today’s ep:

But Akk is so freaked out when he sees them. It’s not just a “oh no, they will see me being friendly with the enemy” kind of thing. He really seems to be worried that they’ll pick up on the romantic tension between them. 

It’s really sad. I will be sooooo happy if Akk, Kan and Thua become friends with these three later in the story. And they can have group hangs at the Café for All.

No Fats. No Fems. No Escape.

Nong, Nun, and Nian can't hide their truth. Even if they aren't gay, they are effeminate, and the school sees that. The people who could support them don't. Instead those people remain quiet or stand with the oppressors.

Kan hides every single day. He hides behind his jokes, his threats, and the curse. Regardless of his reasoning, Kan's decision to be the straightest boy is intentional. He strategically mentions his attraction to girls and vice versa. He only participates in stereotypical heteronormative behavior in front of his peers. The only person who questions him is Wat who has seen the true side of Kan outside of the school. 

We all believed Akk was experiencing a gay crisis as he slowly realized he was attracted to a boy, but if this last episode showed us anything, it's that Akk has KNOWN he is attracted to the same sex. His crisis is not fully coming from liking a boy but specifically liking Ayan. 

Thua is a thoughtful and sensitive boy, which several characters have noted, but it is weaponized against him as both traits are deemed girly. Thua could, if he wanted to, deny that he is gay, but because of the way he IS, there will always be doubts from others. However, he chooses silence often to protect himself, never directly confronting the bullies.

Ayan could be considered the most out of the group, but how is that quantified? We know Dika took him to the cafe, yes. We also see him only flirt with Ayan in private, and most of those interactions are meant to make Akk uncomfortable so how genuine are his intentions? He might help the protesters in the background, but he doesn't stand next to them. He might wear a hoodie and a necklace, but he still wears the uniform. 

All of these boys could, on some level, pass for straight. The World Remembers cannot. Because of who they are and the mannerisms they possess, they will always be noticed. Akk, Kan, Thua, and Ayan distance themselves from this attention: Akk enforces order, Kan makes jokes, Thua stays quiet, and Ayan disobeys rules, but Nong, Nun, and Nian can't. Regardless of how they interact with the school, they are being punished for simply existing as they are, not for the infraction itself. Even if they were the most rule-abiding students, they would still be viewed as less than (e.g. Thua).

Because Ayan always questioned the teachers, he was punished in the classroom by being the only student to be asked questions all day. When Ayan and Ask fought, the teacher allowed both students to clean rather than tell Teacher Chadok. However, we have seen not only the teachers allowing other students to touch Nong, Nun, and Nian, but the teachers themselves have also physically assaulted the group. The only teacher they had on their side was Dika, and he is gone. The group has consistently said they aren't breaking the school's rules because they protest during break times, yet they are being punished unfairly compared to their peers. 

We don't see them in judo. We don't see them in class. We don't see them at the cafe. We see them in their everyday clothing of pastels and fitted tops protesting and being insulted. We see them making signs that people destroy. We see them being bullied while their peers watch. While all the other boys are allowed to have dimensions due to how well they fit into the school's heteronormative ideal and can find happiness outside of the school, these three don't get that luxury. Because every day, this is who they are, and the school won't let them escape that. 

Remember that the group KNOWS the curse isn''t real. They UNDERSTAND an actual person is behind the curse. They come to school every day knowing that PEOPLE are responsible for their misfortunes, not a curse, yet they still fight. 

This isn't about acting in accordance with the rules. This is about acting straight. This is about passing. This is about being a man and the performance of masculinity. Because Nong, Nun, and Nian demonstrate traits that are deemed feminine, they are targeted and excluded. Therefore, necessity is the foundation of their friendship, but shared trauma has bonded them together. It's dangerous to be alone in a world that doesn't accept one's existence, so they are proving there is strength in numbers. They see the value in each other: Nong is creative, Nun is a strong leader, and Nian is the encouragement they need to keep fighting. They are taking what Dika gave them and sending it out into the world. 

They need to all be there for each other the way Dika was for them. Let's just hope the others decide to step out of line with them instead of acting on the straight and narrow.

2023 is in 3 months and im still processing 2020

THE ECLIPSE (2022)  

my babes are all coupled up like they deserve!