I Love It When I Write 2012 Angst It's Always:

I love it when i write 2012 angst it's always:

Placing Raph in situations where he's responsible for his brothers

Mikey pushing his emotions down to help others even if he's slowly cracking

Donnie's trauma being ignored by himself since he should be better than this and so he explodes in the end.

Leo, all of the above, in that order.

“Our family has suffered enough. Let our legacy of sacrifice come to an end.”

…

“Promise me that none of you will ever sacrifice yourselves by using a mystical sword to trap yourselves in an inescapable prison realm in order to seal away a great evil like I did.”

……

“Boys? What is it? Boys?”

——

AKA a very specific family tradition featuring Leo’s boba tea, a ghost, and these facial expressions:

SOUND ON 🔊

So my Batfamily brain rot is back (not that it ever really left) and I just had a thought like…

If you’re a henchman/criminal in Gotham, seeing your life flash past your eyes is gonna be a somewhat regular occurance but… what if like… the thing that truly made a henchman’s heart fall to his ass was when they hit Robin just a little too hard and this 10 year old kid just starts crying and goes ‘Daaaaaadddd!’

That’s the moment when they truly think they’re going to die because said dad, the kid is calling for is a 6’6 demon from hell who’s all muscle and shadows and vengance and a lot of Gotham still thinks he’s a cryptid

The henchmen all drop their guns and try to calm the kid down but it’s over in 5 seconds flat. Batman breaks several bones before speaking to Robin in the softest voice they’ve ever heard him use and the criminal world, who was already a bit hesitant to fight a kid have even more reason to take it just a little easy on Robin.

And like, I can picture different reactions with every Robin.

Like, for Dick, he’s ten and we all know he was the most violent Robin second only to Damian so maybe when he’s ten or eleven and has calmed down a little, a henchback who still remembers what a little shit he used to be decides to get back at Robin, slips on a pair of brass knuckles and BAM

And then, little Dick just stares for a moment in shock, cheek already starting to bruise, the criminals he’d been fighting all stay still because it was a nasty punch and then…

“Daaaaad!!!” He cries out in a whiny voice that reminds them that Robin really is just a kid and it all clicks into place.

Even Bruce wasn’t expecting that, Dick has just started calling him dad and he still isn’t used to being called that so to hear his kid calling for him in the moment where he is startled and hurt and a little scared… the henchmen don’t even have time to react and they wake up in the hospital with concussions and maybe a few broken bones.

It doesn’t take Dick long to calm down, it was mostly that the hit from a random henchmen really startled him and got him right in the cheekbone. But Bruce still finishes patrol early and Dick still hides under Bruce’s cape all the way to the Batmobile.

Then comes Jason and Jason was such a sweet kid, I headcannon he was the one that called Bruce dad the most often while being Robin. So one night during patrol maybe he finds himself fighting Penguin or Two-Face and it’s been a long night and he has an exam the following day and Bruce is fighting another villain at the other side of the warehouse

The point is, the henchmen and Two-Face start landing hits on eleven year old Jason in his gut and at some point he loses sight of Batman fighting on the other side of the room. Jason gets scared because he’s never really fought without Batman and while he knows that Bruce is still in the warehouse, he can’t see him and the handle of a gun hits the back of his ankle and he falls and he sees Two-Face or Penguin or one of the henchmen getting ready to grab the front of his uniform and beat him up and…

“Daaaaddd!”

The criminals freeze for a moment. They’ve heard the stories of what happened the last time a Robin called scared for dad.

They’re fucked.

They all drop their guns and try to get Jason to calm down, but he’s crying just a little bit and calls again, his voice breaking and despite having been at the other side of the warehouse just a second ago, Bruce somehow drops from the ceiling and it’s over before the criminals can keep pleading with Robin to calm down.

Jason tries to apologize for ‘acting like a baby’ but Bruce is having none of it and carries him back to the Batmobile and Jason is happy to just hide his face in Bruce’s cape because he knows his dad will always be there to save him.

Then comes Tim.

And Tim gets found out while doing reconnisance and somehow he finds himself face to face with Bane who manages to wrench away his bo staff and Tim is just eleven and he is scared because Bane doesn’t look like he’s going to hold back

All Tim knows is that the crack he hears must surely be his ribs either cracking or breaking and he can’t breath and he can only muster enough air for a single word… and he calls for his dad through tears and fear

And at this point… at this point Batman has already lost a Robin, Tim may not be his legally but he is his son just as much as Jason was

Bane spends a month in the ICU

Tim is embarrased that he reacted like that. He thinks it makes him less of a Robin to called scared for Batman… for dad.

So Bruce tells him of the other two times it happened. It’s one of the first times he’s spoken about Jason to Tim so bluntly.

Then comes Stephanie.

Stephanie never calls Bruce dad when she’s Robin. She’s not his daughter and he’s not her dad. They’re not sure what exactly they are to one another.

As far as Bruce knows, Stephanie’s version of Robin never called out to him when she was scared.

What he doesn’t know is that it did happen. Just once

It was the last time she was Robin. When Black Mask had her and she thought she was going to die

At some point while bleeding and feeling nauseous and so scared she could barely hear anything that wasn’t her own heart beating wildly against her chest… she called for dad. Not for Arthur Brown, but for Bruce

Black Mask laughed at her

Stephanie never tells Bruce

And finally… Damian

Now, we know Damian would probably never be startled enough to call for Bruce out of instinct, so I can see 2 scenarios in which this could happen.

First, he sees another kid do it. He sees a kid close to his own age laughing and playing, then tripping and staying quiet for a split second before crying out for mom and dad and he just… assumes that’s something kids do when scared and hurt and startled and does it mostly in an attempt to be a little more ‘normal’

Or, my favorite scenario… he hears of the other times it has happened. He overhears maybe Dick remind Jason of what Bruce did when Jason called out to dad as Robin. Tim maybe jokes that a Robin calling for dad is still the villains’ greatest fear

So Damian stores that knowledge away as a battle strategy just in case he ever needs it… and maybe a small part of him wants to put it to the test, to see if his father would protect him as brutally as he’s protected the Robins before him

So some random night during patrol, he’s up against several henchmen, a few of them grab him from behind, trying to hold him down. Damian is fighting against them when one of them swings a cylinder of metal that Damian thinks might’ve been meant for the plumbing and…

The henchman breaks Damian’s nose, there’s blood dripping down his chin and staining his uniform

Now… it is most certainly not the first time he’s broken something, he’s more than used to the pain, in fact, he barely feels it. However, it gives him a chance to put his little theory to the test

And so Damian allows himself to sound like the ten year old that he is and in a whiny, teary voice, goes… “Babaaaaa!” (Bonus points if it’s the first or second time he’s called Bruce baba instead of father)

What Damian didn’t take into account though, is that Batman and Robin aren’t the only ones on patrol that night. They made a big bust. The biggest part of the operation was over but they were still fighting a few stragglers. The whole fucking family is here.

And they all hear his cry.

Damian doesn’t think he’s ever seen a fight end so quickly. The henchmen only have a split-second of surprise before vanishing, being tackled or shot or having knives buried on their shoulders by his siblings.

The one that actually broke Damian’s nose is being beaten up by Nightwing, Damian doesn’t think he’s ever seen Grayson so angry.

A shadow kneels in front of him, father. Baba. He’s checking Damian and Todd is right at his side, both speaking in hushed tones, checking his injuries and wiping the tears that usually came with a broken nose.

And now… Damian is used to his father and Grayson treating him like a child, trying to be as soft as they can with him. Even Cain does it to some extent.

But… having Drake wrap an arm around him, calling him baby when knocking out one of the criminals that had hurt him ‘that’s my fucking baby brother!’ and continue to hold him later into the night on the couch, having Brown willingly give up all the snacks she keeps in her utility belt and promise to take him to Batburger the following day for milkshakes because he was ‘a champ’. And Thomas wraps his favorite blanket around Damian while they’re fixing him up.

Todd decides to stay the night at the manor. Which he never does. They all decide to spend the night at the manor when Damian still sniffles on the Batmobile and they have breakfast all of them together. Which Damian isn’t sure has ever happened before and Cain gets Alfred to make pancakes with chocolate chips instead of blueberries.

They call him baby in hushed whispers but for once, it doesn’t bother him even though it really should

But most of all, Bruce refuses to let him go for a good five minutes after he first cries for him. Smoothing down his hair and whispering that it’ll be okay and just being soft in a way Damian has never seen before.

He sleeps between his Baba and Grayson and he knows that Todd and Drake and Cain check in on them at least twice in the night for some reason.

And he realizes it’s… it’s nice. Maybe this really could be an effective battle strategy to be employed again someday.

- Lee discovering that dark humor is really popular and so he and Leon keep making jokes out of their various traumas. Rise Raph gets after Leon for that one and there is a lot of talk about self esteem

Credit goes to my amazing friend @sapphiretanto who is helping me so much with this au and these hilarious hc’s. plz go follow them

Lee: *motivating the team* There is always more than one way around a seemingly objective solution.

Leon: An elevator?

Lee: Break the cable and fall down the shaft.

Leon: Can’t get into a second story window?

Lee: have someone throw you through it! 😌

Leo: some people say I have daddy issues… jokes on you, I don’t even have a dad!

Leon: ba dum tsss

*gets asked if they can do a backflip*

Lee: that’s setting the bar even lower than my self esteem

Leon: and my self preservation.

Leo and Leon: high three!

HOMIES IN A HALF-SHELL AU

I’ve seen a few AUs now where the baby turtles where like, actual baby turtle sized or at least palm sized, so I wanted to know; how would your ‘12 Leo react to a baby Donnie who could fit in the palm of his hand? (I know the ‘12 turtles were a little closer to actual toddler sized, but just imagine)

*squints at you and wonders how much you know about my “In Which” activities on A03*

Anyway. That- is a very loaded question.

So let’s keep imagining.

Imagine discovering this little turt. Imagine him being scared and confused. Imagine him desperately clinging to your attempts to comfort him, despite him not truly knowing who you are.

Imagine if he was completely untouched by harm, and every time he leaned against you, it was like he was trusting his whole body and soul into your care. Every time he smiled or giggled, it was like that little piece of happiness was reserved for you alone in ways that you could never hope to deserve. Every time that he cries, he looks so helpless and heartbroken that all you can do is frantically search for a way to make it better.

Now.

Imagine if this tiny, precious green gremlin of a creature could fit in a single hand. Imagine watching him getting stuck on his carapace and trying to roll over, only to fail over and over. Imagine realizing just how tiny and dependent he is. Imagine that ever time he shifts in your arms, you remember that if he fell, he’s so small that his shell hitting the ground might crack it. Imagine watching him try to crawl and realizing that anything could very easily crush him.

You’re a powerful ninja that can break his arm simply by holding him too tightly. He’s fragile, so fragile that any everything around you is a potential danger that could hurt him.

Imagine if every instinct in your being is constantly on edge and screaming- protect- protect- PROTECT- PROTECT- PROTECT-

Saying this would disrupt things would be an extreme understatement. Forget any kind of self-care/training/patrols, this kid wouldn’t be able to take his eye of lil’ Dee for a second. It would be almost obsessive, the way he can’t stand the thought of putting him down, much less handing him off to anyone else. As long as lil’ Dee is in reach, he’s safe.

Leo will make sure of it.

“Hey, Leo?”

The brother in question doesn’t look up from where his gaze is trained on the braced form of their tiny brother, who is busy trying to figure out how to eat the teddy bear that is several inches taller than him. The leader holds the toy as he lays propped in the crook of his other arm, and Donnie consents to chewing on the fingerless hand, furry arms clasped in six fingers that don’t quite understand how to release yet.

Mikey steps forward and drops on the other side of the couch, repeating his name for the tenth time. “Earth to Leo!”

With Mikey’s insistent voice next to him and hard to miss, he starts and glances to the side. “What?”

Used to his random space-outs by now, Mikey reaches out a finger to curl around the teddy bear’s arm, putting very little force into prying it from Donnie’s mouth. Donnie kicks his legs and growls, playful and determined, unconsciously locking his jaw as tiny fingers dig into the fur. Leo flinches at the sudden movement, but other than shooting him a wary side-eye, says nothing.

But maybe that’s because Mikey had yet to stop talking. “So we talked about it and April says that she’s cool to help take Donnie tonight. I know you don’t want anyone else messing with him, but it’ll only be a few hours. And he likes me and he likes her and we all talked about it, and Raph and Casey’s going to be doing Vigilante stuff far away from here and I know what you’re thinking, but we-”

“Wait, wait, wait, stop.” Leo mutters as he shakes his head, worn-out gaze moving to train on Mikey. “What’s happening tonight?”

Leaving no room for argument, Mikey raises a finger to the sky and then pokes his plastron. “You. Are sleeping.”

“I… Already sleep.” Leo argues anyway, already disengaging from the conversation to let go of the teddy, returning his attention to the turt. The furry head covers the small plastron, stuffed body in Leo’s lap, and Donnie releases his jaw, looking curiously at it.

“I haven’t seen you sleep once since Donnie got small.” Mikey argues as Leo sets a finger on Donnie’s side, preventing him from being able to roll around when he squirms.

“I never said I did it a lot.” Leo mutters reluctantly.

“How about yesterday? How many hours? Six?”

“Mikey…”

“Five? Four? Three?”

“I know my limits.”

“Tell me you at least got an hour.”

A heavy sigh as his shoulders slump, and he somehow seems more tired than before. “I don’t know, Mikey. It’s not like I’m counting.”

“And that’s going to change as soon as April gets here.” Leo looks up as if just queuing into their plans, and Mikey reiterates. “She’ll take Dee, you’ll set an alarm, and go to sleep. If anything happens, which it won’t, I’ll-”

“No!” Leo snaps, both turtles look equally startled by his proclamation. His eyes harden suddenly. “No, Mikey, I’m fine. Seriously. Leave it alone. I’ve got him.”

“Dude, you’re barely eating and you’re not sleeping.” Mikey argues firmly. “We talked about it and we think-“

“Thank you for making plans for me behind my back, but I’m fine.”

The sharpness of Leo’s tone can slice like his katanas. It only further proves how tired he is, as normally he would understand their concern rather than jump to the conclusion that they were working against him. He’d be annoyed, rather than angry.

Mikey stands his ground. “You’re tired.”

“I’ll survive being tired until Bishop’s team finishes the cure!”

“We don’t know how much longer that’ll take!”

“I don’t see why that matters!”

“That’s because your brain’s mush cause you’re tired!”

Donnie’s face scrunches with uncertainty as he looks between them, and Leo catches onto his unease, taking the forgotten bear and flinging it at his brother. Mikey catches it before it can hit him square in the face and Leo gently cups Donnie in his hand, standing up and stating, “If I wanted to sleep, I would sleep. So back off.”

“Leo-”

Leo’s already leaving. “Not up for debate!”

“Leo!”

Mikey stands up and waves his arms in a vent of frustration at the turned shell, but Leo ignores him, heading for the bedroom and slamming the door behind.

“You’re kidding!”

Mikey’s hushed gasp draws April’s attention from her studies, closing the laptop to set it to the side and joining him in the hallway. She stops by Leo’s door, peeking over his shoulder curiously.

From the light spilling in, she can see Leo curled up on the floor, his side leaning against a pillow to keep him from rolling left. His left arm hangs over it, hand slack over a tiny body like a shield, and Donnie cuddles into the blanket nest underneath him. The only form awake is Chompy, sitting near the nest like a little guard, tail tapping the floor as he blinks sleepily at the both of them.

“Chompy. Really?” Mikey whines, completely aghast. “Chompy?”

“At least he’s sleeping?” April offers off-handedly, trying to pretend she’s not equally as upset to be robbed of a chance to play with the hand-size turtle infant. “That’s something?”

“Yeah.” Mikey admits with a sigh. “Guess he really was tired if we haven’t woken him. And Chompy’s a pretty good alarm system…”

She places a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. “We’ll try again another time.”

He groans playfully, and then grabs hold of her hand, tugging her arm back the way she came. “Fiiiine. But we got all evening free and someone’s gotta watch Chris Bradford reruns with me!”

“Mikey.” She laughs as she plants her feet. “I have an essay-”

“Aprriiiiilll!”

“Shhhh!” She glances into the room as Chompy chirps. “Alright, alright. But I’ll have to multitask.”

“Deal!” Mikey hurries into the main room, and April turns to grab the door knob. She watches the tense hand over Donnie’s shell relax again, a sigh leaving his lips as the area quiets, and she wishes them and the watchful alien a soft, “Sweet dreams.”

Chompy settles to sleep as the door shuts, and April heads to the pit.

“So, how many times have you seen this episode?”

“Only seven!”

“Only seven, huh?”