Extremely Dumb Transformers Headcanon:

Extremely dumb transformers headcanon:

Cybertronians with car/car-similar alt modes have cupholders, but they dont know what they are.

Its basically like an appendix/wisdom teeth situation of "why the heck our bodies still have these" except its been so long they LEGITIMATELY have no clue what possible purpose they have.

Then one day Bulkhead gotta drive Fowler super early in the morning for a mission, and Fowler by reflex puts his shitty coffee cup in Bulkhead's cupholder.

And Bulkhead straight up goes like that cat with a flower hat meme, THE PROPHECY IS TRUE kinda freezes in place goes all oh my fucking primus it all makes sense now

Fowler is starting to think he accidentally got into a regular ass truck cuz Bulkhead been frozen in the parking lot for like five minutes

Optimus favorite disney movie is probably Tarzan

Optimus: So lucky.. He got to stay in the wild..

Ratchet: *tired sigh*

Ratchet: You are not a wild animal.

Optimus: By Primus I wish I was.

Ratchet: *deadpan stare into the camera like he's in the office*

Tumblr ate my last goddamn caption but it boiled down to:

Team Prime = The Nine Nine

@miss-stary-eyes every Optimus thigh I draw is dedicated to you 👌❤️

i constantly think about how optimus remained inherently genuine despite everything thrown at him in tfp

This is my headcanon for what happened while Rosie was talking to Charlie

I just finished reading “Remnants of the Wild” and I simply love the Feral Orion au (and your content overall). So, what would happen after he gives up the power of the matrix to put unicron to sleep and reverts back to Orion? What if instead of going to the nemesis with Megs, the team manages to lure him back to the base? I bet he would be really unhinged

OH my goodness. I love this thought so much.

If Optimus were to revert back into being a wild Cybertronian I have no doubt in my mind that it would be complete and total chaos, especially with his more civilized frame. It took Alpha Trion nearly a vorn, a whole vorn, just to make Orion somewhat civilized. The team would stand no chance of taming him since they would have him for what, like a week or two? Maybe a month at most before they could get his memories back?

It would be a disaster.

-

Feral Orion Returns

The very first thing that would happen after the memoryless Orion wakes up should be obvious. Of course he would attack the mech pointing a blaster at his helm.

Megatron would be far too startled by the sudden feral behavior to do much of anything except swing wildly as Orion runs circles around him, biting, clawing, and doing his best to rip Megatron to pieces. By the time the team arrive to pick up their Prime, Megatron is already hightailing it through a ground bridge and Orion is prowling around scared out of his wits and highly aggressive.

The team would likely have been the next victims of Orion's fear induced aggressiveness if he didn't recognize his own spark signature all over them. He would be less hostile after feeling their familiarity but would still be on edge and refuse to approach for quite some time until energon was brought into the mix.

Orion has never been a fool, even when he was wild. He would understand some of what the team were trying to accomplish by leading him along with energon, even if their sounds mean nothing to him. But not understanding what is going on and being stuck in a frame most definitively not the one he remembers being his, Orion would go with the team after no small amount of coaxing.

They would likely have to push him through the ground bridge as generally giant glowy things in the wild tend to mean danger.

From this point onwards it would be complete and utter chaos as no bot, not even Ratchet knows how to handle a completely wild Orion Pax.

Orion's mentality

Orion would spend at least the first three days just adjusting to the team and the children.

Then once he is comfortable and comes to the conclusion that they have energon and don't intend to hurt him, he would become rather social and curious.

Bumblebee would be subject to rather unusual pampering as to Orion he is barely bigger than a sparkling.

Orion would constantly keep Bumblebee by his side and drag him back by his neck guard whenever he inevitably attempts to wander off.

He would not understand his spontaneously adopted sparkling's desire to consume his energon in such a weird and pointless way.

Why take small sips when chugging the energon is more efficient and leaves nothing behind for scavengers to steal?

Bumblebee's odd desire to mess around with the glow screen and the small not-mech-not-mechanimal creatures would baffle him, but he would allow it so long as he remains nearby.

Sparklings must be watched in order to keep them safe from predators, even if the sparkling in question is not really a sparkling anymore.

Ratchet would be a bit of an enigma for Orion as the seeming leader of the pack would allow himself to get yelled at one moment but demand respect the next.

It only threw him off more when Ratchet's first response to seeing him is to treat him like a sparkling (by his wild standards).

The medic would constantly check on him, bring him energon, teach him things as best as he could, and use his own EM field to sooth him when he started to feel upset.

Orion is not quite sure how to categorize Ratchet on the pecking order of his new pack but he tends to treat the medic with respect and does not growl or otherwise make a scene around him.

As for Arcee and Bulkhead, Orion finds them just as strange due to their constant proximity to the not-mech-not-mechanimal creatures.

He firmly believes there is something wrong with them because of how fondly they treat the odd squishy looking creatures.

No reasonable mech (in his own opinion) would ever take on such useless, obviously prey animal like creatures without there being any purpose.

He has yet to see any purpose behind their choice to take care of the not-mech-not-mechanimal things and so treats Bulkhead and Arcee as equals, if a little lower on the pecking order than him,.

This leads him to be completely alright with growling, ignoring them, and asserting his dominance through flared plating and bared fangs when necessary.

He would also find the dynamic between the pack which he found himself integrated into to be incredibly off-putting.

They don't communicate with EM fields and keep them tucked away, much to Orion's confusion and irritation.

Their body language is filled with unnecessary movement and confusing to a simple and straightforward mech like Orion who can't figure out what they are trying to say no matter how closely he watches.

Orion's Habits

Not really understanding what is going on Orion would resolve to do whatever he feels like as there is no hunting and nothing to do besides keep an optic on the sparkling he adopted.

This would lead him to harass the human children as he tries to figure out what they are.

That would end quickly the moment Arcee and Bulkhead get involved.

He would also prowl around base, searching for hiding spaces and eventually figuring out how to get into the rafters of the base, much to the combined fear of everyone present when they look up and see a huge set of piercing blue optics staring into their sparks.

He would also make a stash of energon cubes in some dark corner, never to be discovered until months after the matter and long after his memories are returned.

He would also probably try to dig a hole in the ground at some point after feeling a little too exposed, but this would also be stopped quickly after Ratchet gets involved.

Instead Orion is given a bunch of empty crates to do with as he wishes.

He would build a cave like structure and defend it like his life depended on it.

Orion would also start randomly chewing on things as in his previous frame it was necessary for him to file his fangs down occasionally.

On that same train of thought he would also leave scratch marks everywhere like some giant cat for the exact same reason but instead for his claws.

He would also have some rather spectacular moments of clumsiness as he would not be used to his infinity less wild frame.

He would probably try to climb up the walls or something only to land on his aft after realizing his pedes are flat and aren't claw like anymore.

Orion would 100% try to eat dirt when feeling peckish only to realize it has no energon and is literally just dust and gravel.