Reblog If You Add Contractions To Yall

Reblog if you add contractions to y’all

Reblog if you say "Y'all"

today's entire emotion

Popcorn is nice an’ all, but, have you considered adding caramel to it?

if this post gets 500 or more things (reblogs, likes, comments) then ill eat an actual meal for the first time in almost a year bc im living off of microwaveable popcorn

i doubt this will happen so while i wait im gonna make microwaveable popcorn and yall cant stop me :)

my account so small this wont happen so imma enjoy my microwaveable popcorn 🤭

Truth be told, I didn’t expect this to have been real. What is “this” you ask? Let me rewind about a week ago. There had been a rather recent uproar of so called ‘dragon sightings’. Several hikers in the area had claimed to have seen tracks, and nesting sites. I honestly didn’t think anything of it, just people getting excited over what was likely a large lizard or some poorly tended campfire. My skepticism only increased when I had received a summons to the ‘grand council of dragons’ to be held a week from the reception of the delivery of the letter, atop ‘the stormcrow spire’. It wasn’t until an actual dragon the size of a sedan landed on my roof while I was doing laundry that I realized this was serious.

“We are almost there.” Rumbled the creature, Cormaranth, if I recall. The council had been called by one named ‘Fastyris’. Apparently a much larger female, who my companion had described as an archdragon of the sun and moon. While I have no idea what that meant, I didn’t feel like arguing with a flying fire breather.

“And what exactly is a stormcrow?” I asked over the howling wind, noticing a peak that, according to maps, didn’t exist.

“Look there, between the southern sky and the peak, at the clouds.” Cormoranth replied, tilting his head to indicate the direction I should look.

There I saw it, what at first I had indeed taken for little more than stormclouds flew a massive crow. It appeared to be made of the cloud itself, as if the storm itself was alive, as it looked in our direction with an electric gaze, the sky above us darkened, and the crow vanished with a clap of thunder.

Looking up, a dragon many times the size of Cormaranth flew above us, it’s underbelly the color of aged ivory, the membrane of its wings fading from that to a deep, midnight black. At its chest, there was a dark purple breastplate, though if it was indeed a breastplate or a natural armor that the creature had grown, I could not tell, instinctively, I knew this to be the one who had called this council, the archdragon of the sun and moon, Fastyris.

Cormaranth circled the spire, a peak that had a large cavern inside, and waited for Fastyris to land, before entering the council room himself, dropping me at the center before leaving, all around, perched and sprawled, were five enormous dragons. Fastyris herself, sitting much like one would see a hawk or falcon, upon a large pillar of what appeared to be black onyx, her presence in the room demanding respect and even reverence, looked down upon me, her gaze not of one who saw herself above the bounds of mortality, but of one who had seen the rise and fall of the aeons. I found myself bowing, and I heard a deep, melodic rumble, before a voice that seemed to emanate from the very stone itself spoke.

“There is no need for such formality, son of Adam. You have been summoned, sit, and hearken. For you are hear to learn, and to take part in the coming ages.” As she spoke, she shifted her tail, revealing a table and chair, made from the same black stone as the pillar upon which she held herself, I obeyed, finding myself to be far more comfortable than one would expect from a stone chair.

Just as I had gotten comfortable, a voice older than time itself spoke, and a green dragon, with horns that looks as though they were made of wood, gnarled and twisted, raised its head

“The council is gathered, the human chosen, Fastyris, what is your purpose?”

You are surprised when you suddenly get a letter inviting you, a plain human, to take a seat on the grand council of dragons

TLDR

So I was reading fanfics again, not like, I read the fic and went back to it, but like, genuinely went back to reading fanfics in general, and this one I read was abysmally short but had a really neat premise to me because like, one it’s Percy x Charles, which I don’t see all that often and I actually love(?) but also Percy’s family was like, retconned to being Mormon, but back to my point, the other one I just finished, and like, I don’t read a whole ton of fanfics because I get weird afterwards, like I’ll be in some kind of odd funk where I’m either just blue for no reason at all(at least that I can find) or I’m just weird. Idk, it’s ambiguous and vague and difficult to explain, long story short, this one like, reminded me that for a minute I wanted to like, open up a cafe or bakery or some quaint whimsical thing like that, and like, I’ve worked in a quaint whimsical place before and I loved it, yeah my manager was a little, okay a lot, annoying and like, could not manage. But he was an alright dude most of the time. Anyway, like I finished this fic yeah, and like, I enjoyed working in a small quaint whimsical type environment, and I’m going to school for like… game design I think is my plan? Idk my plan is like really vague right now, but like, it got me thinking, why did I abandon that cafe idea before I really had a chance to mull it over y’know? So like, now I’m just sitting in my dorm before classes start wondering if I should’ve taken different classes instead, and like, yeah, I have my entire life ahead of me because I’m only turning 20 this June, which is wild to think about, but like also I don’t really know what I want my life to look like and the fact that a lot of this thought process was started by a flipping Percy x Luke fanfic is ridiculous but like I said earlier I get weird about fanfics, what was I saying? Oh yeah, like, I don’t really know what I want the next few years to look like even, and I feel like I probably should, and then there’s getting to the long term and I’ve thought even less about that because there’s really only so far you can walk along the edge of a coin and like, sometimes I hate my hyper fixating, or whatever this is, because like, now I’ll be thinking about this for a while and like it’s weird and blah, and sorry there’s like, a million things here and it’s long and I have no idea where to put it so it’s just lurking in my drafts for now, and if anything it’ll wind up forgotten or something.

Well, I can fix the humming bird. A humming bird and a rodent of some kind, like a squirrel maybe. Little guy just wants its flowers.

It annoys me unreasonably when you want to ask people "what bird and what mammal would make the worst gryphon" as a fun thought exercise, and people with no joy and no imagination always interpret it as "a gryphon that sucks, is physically impossible, and would hate being alive", and - being predictable and lacking in imagination - always, always answer with "a hummingbird and a blue whale lol".

Like come on. Why do you have to suck the fun out of everything. Why not use a fraction of imagination and delightful whimsy. Imagine the combination of a mouse and a sparrow. That creature would be merciless, burtal, absolutely determined to get into your trash and has the power of both wings and hands to do its will. Or a crow and a cat - that thing is smart enough to fuck with people and not afraid to do it. Imagine the ungodly shriek of the noble fox-seagull, also determined to get into your trash.

A gryphon that is a combination of a kangaroo and a cassowary. The only proof we have of a loving god is the fact that those things do not exist. If hell is real, it's full of them. That thing can't fly, but it will run you down, it will kill you, and you will look stupid the whole entire time you're dying.

Why would the first thing that pops into your mind at the words "the worst gryphon" automatically be "a gryphon that hates being alive". Can you not picture a gryphon that fucking loves being alive, and has both the power and the will to make it everyone else's problem.