Loved This So Much, The Ending Was Hilarious

loved this so much, the ending was hilarious

home alone

pairing: argyle x fem!reader

wordcount: 1.1k

summary: Hopper, your father, is going on a date, while El is going to hangout with her friends as well. Leaving you home alone with the company of Argyle.

WARNINGS: SMUT (18+ minors dni), 69ing yup, pwp

a/n: okay this isn't the fic for the 50 follower special but someone requested this like two days ago and I wanted this one out too. requests are open <3

Your father, Hopper, was going on a date with Joyce. He was pacing around the house, stressing out on what to wear. You and El were in your room, having a sister bonding moment. She was applying makeup onto you, experimenting with different things. You don't mind, you just want to get as much time as possible with her. El was about to leave to go hang out with Will and Mike, who was staying at the Byers house while down in California for a bit. That left you home alone with Argyle. 

“Hey, tell me does this look good?” Your father asks opening your door. He was wearing a navy henley shirt and khakis. “It’s cute, I guess.” You say hoping that it sounds convincing. 

“It is very cute.” El says as she continues to put makeup on you. “Dad, you look fine, don’t even worry about it.” You reassure. He huffs out in acceptance and calms down. “El, you ready to head out?” He asks, enthusiastically she got up from your bed and made her way to the door. 

“Is that kid you call a boyfriend coming over?” You could feel the tension in the room all of sudden as you reach to grab a makeup wipe. 

“His name is Argyle, Pops,” you say as you begin to wipe off the makeup, “and yes, he is.” Hopper thought he could have a heart attack. His kid with another kid in a house unsupervised! He might die from the thought of it. “Don’t sweat it, we’re just going to watch a movie.”

“It better just be a movie or I swear to god–” 

“Dad! You’re going to be late.” You say ushering him out of your room and out the house. You watch as El and him walk to the car and get in. “Use protection!” You call out as your dad rolled down the window and flipped you off. His car backed up from the driveway and made its way to the Byers. Causally, you went to pick up the phone and began to dial Argyle. 

▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂

 You and Argyle were watching some stupid horror movie in the living room. Your head rested on his lap while he sat up. The same cliches would play over and over. Teens doing dumb shit and getting killed for not using one percent of their brain. It’s getting boring. Argyle, for some reason, enjoyed this. Alot. Desperately, you wanted his attention. Slowly, you began rubbing his thigh. You could feel Argyle tense underneath you. 

“Dude.” He mutters. He’d be embarrassed by how quickly he’s getting hard just from the gentle teasing. 

“What, man? I’m just playing around.” You say as you continue. Argyle gave your butt a little slap as you curled onto the couch giggling. 

“Come on, man, your dad is gonna, like, be home any time soon.” 

“That just means we have to hurry.” You purr, taking his hand to head to your room. The two of you head into your room, closing the door behind you. Once inside, you lead Argyle onto your bed and pull down your pants,  leaving your panties for him. “Let me play with you.” You whisper. 

“Bring that ass up here, let me play as well.” He groans. You put your cunt towards his face while yours met his cock. He pushes your panties to the side and begins to attach his lips onto your clit. Your mouth licks up onto his dick. He was getting stiff underneath your touch as you took your time on him. You wanted this to last as long as possible. Stroking him while sucking his tip, you skillfully moved your tongue onto his tip. Finally, you opened your mouth a bit more, taking him a bit deeper into your mouth. He licks eagerly onto your clit, rubbing softly with his tongue. 

You moan onto his dick as he continues licking. He bucks his hips a bit causing you to gag a bit, you pull him out of your mouth to get a breather. “That’s not very nice.” You pout.

“I’m sorry,” he moans. “ Let me make it up to you.” He wraps his arms around your legs and pushes you down to his face. It catches you by surprise as he laps up your cunt. You could feel yourself dripping onto his face as he begins to dip his tongue into you. You don’t want to feel selfish so you reach down and begin to stroke him. You drip spit onto your hand as you begin to pick up the pace. 

He sucks on your clit and brings his hand to your cunt, inserting them in. A moan leaves your throat as he begins to curl his finger inside. He quickens his paces and adds another in, curling in a rhythm. The sound of your moans and your wetness feels the room, the familiar coil coming back again. Argyle could eat you up for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It was his favorite thing. You could feel yourself reaching your high as your toes curled. You reached for his cock. Knowing that he was about to cum himself as his stomach kept on tensing,and massaged it quickly.

“Cum for me babe.” You moan out for him. His eyebrows furrowed as he thrust into your hand, releasing his seed into your palm. You lift your hand up to your mouth and lick his cum off.This doesn’t stop him though from eating you out. He wants you to come from his mouth. His arms that are wrapped around him makes you move onto his face, riding it ever so slightly. The lustful noises of sucking and moaning fills the room as his only mission left is to make you cum. Your thighs clench around his face as you instantly meet your high. You whine as you release onto his face. Argyle swore he nearly drowned. 

Suddenly, you hear the car door slam. Your head snaps to your door as you come back to reality, too quickly for you liking. A string of curse words leave your mouth as you get off of Argyle’s face. You grab a towel quickly and toss it to him. 

“My dad is back!” You whisper–shout. Argyle’s sense came back as he quickly wiped his face. You quickly find your pants while Argyle was situating himself. You dad though was in the house now with El following suite behind him. He sees the tv still on with the menu screen of the film the two of you ‘watched’. Hopper notices your door closed and this strikes a nerve for him. He starts his way to your room and opens the door. Once he did, he saw Argyle sitting at the edge of the bed with you braiding his hair. A cold breeze fills the room as the open window allows it through. 

“Hey, Mr.Hopper dude.” Argyle says with a smile on his face. “Hey dad, how was the date?”

Hello friends, I need your help.

Yesterday, 04/04/24, I became homeless; I don’t have a home anymore.

I only have my car, luckly, so that’s where I’m staying with my cat.

I’m currently in my first year of university but I’m going to drop out soon as I can’t afford to pay the fees. I’m looking for a new job, of course, but as of right now I don’t have enough money to do anything about my situation.

I will not share my exact location for safety reasons but I will tell you that I'm living in my car near a gym so as not to be isolated. Physically I am fine, emotionally not really but it doesn't matter.

I’m asking for your help because I don’t know what else to do. I have some links in my bio, if you can donate anything, even just one euro is going to make the difference.

And if you can't donate, please at least share this post or my links. Thank you so much, I appreciate every single one of you.

(Please forgive me for using the tags improperly but I'm trying to reach as many of you as possible, as well as my mutuals).

YALL

Y’all need gimme the most gut wrenching heartbreaking heartstopper angst while im in my crying in gay single and alone era

Our Minds Entwined------------------------

ch 1, ch 2

Aaron Hotchner x Original Character x Spencer Reid

in which jason gideon's daughter joins the fbi as the newest youngest member

Chapter One:

The bar was abuzz with the kind of infectious energy that only comes from a group of friends riding the high of a celebratory night out. In the center of it all was Evelyn Gideon, her laughter a melody that seemed to turn heads and draw smiles even from strangers. She was the embodiment of sunshine—her allure as undeniable as the curves she carried with effortless grace.

Evelyn raised her glass, her eyes sparkling with excitement and liquor. "To new beginnings and breaking ceilings," she toasted, her voice carrying over the crowded room.

Her friends echoed the sentiment, "To Evelyn, the FBI's newest and brightest!"

As they sipped their drinks, the conversation flowed easily, touching on memories, aspirations, and the occasional playful banter about the 'aesthetically pleasing' aspects of her new job.

Evelyn leaned in, her voice a conspiratorial whisper, "You know, I've had my fair share of late-night googling and let's just say the FBI isn't all work and no play. They've got some serious eye candy too."

Her friends giggled, urging her on, and she obliged, a little tipsy from the copious amounts of wine. "There's this one agent, my boss, Aaron Hotchner. Oh, and another, Spencer Reid. They're like the real-life versions of those FBI recruitment posters. So hot, it's criminal."

The group erupted into laughter, unaware that just a few tables away, two men had paused their conversation, a knowing look exchanged between them. They said nothing, just an awkward cough as they went back to their drinks.

Spencer's eyes met hers briefly before averting his gaze.

Aaron's expression was unreadable as he scoffed, "Interns."

The laughter from Evelyn's table continued to ripple through the bar, a stark contrast to the muted tones of conversation at the agents' table. Spencer's eyes flickered back to his drink, the ice clinking softly as he swirled the glass, a thoughtful expression on his face. Aaron, meanwhile, maintained his stoic facade, though the corners of his mouth twitched in a suppressed smile.

Evelyn, buoyed by the warmth of the wine and her company, leaned back in her chair, her gaze drifting across the room. She caught Spencer's eye again, realization drawing on her face, and this time he held her gaze, an unspoken challenge passing between them.

One of her friends nudged her, her eyebrows raised in amusement. "He's cute."

Evelyn's heart skipped a beat, her mind racing with the implications. "I think that's my new boss and colleague."

Evelyn, her cheeks flushed from the alcohol and her earlier comments, caught the agents' glance and felt a sudden wave of embarrassment wash over her. She fumbled with her purse, her laughter trailing off into a nervous giggle.

"Uh, I just remembered, I have an early meeting tomorrow, and I should really get going," Evelyn stammered, avoiding eye contact with the table of agents. Her friends, sensing her discomfort, offered her quick hugs and understanding nods as she made her hasty retreat.

As Evelyn vanished into the crowd, Aaron and Spencer's attention was momentarily captured by the bar's TV, where a breaking news segment flashed across the screen. They leaned in, their focus on a case they'd been following, the world around them fading into the background.

When they finally turned back, expecting to find the lively group still immersed in their celebration, they were met with the sight of an empty chair where Evelyn had been. A twinge of disappointment flickered across their faces, though neither would admit it aloud.

Spencer cleared his throat, "Well, interns are always full of surprises," he remarked, a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

Aaron nodded, his gaze lingering on the now quieter table. "Indeed. But let's not forget, we were all there once," he said, raising a glass in a silent salute to their beginning memories.

"Statistically speaking," Spencer began, his voice barely above the murmur of the bar, "the chances of us overhearing a conversation about ourselves in such a setting are quite slim."

Hotch couldn't help but chuckle at Spencer's comment. "And yet here we are," he added, the hint of a smirk betraying his amusement.

—

The morning light filtered through the curtains, casting a soft glow across Evelyn's sleep softened face as she awoke to the chirping of birds and the distant hum of the city. She lay in bed for a moment, her mind a whirlwind of memories from the night before. The laughter, the wine, the unexpected encounter with Dr. Reid and Hotchner.

She was Jason Gideon's daughter, a fact that filled her with pride yet weighed heavily on her. At 23, she was young to be joining the FBI, especially the BAU, and she felt the pressure to prove herself as more than just a legacy hire.

Evelyn sat up, pushing back the covers as she swung her legs over the side of the bed. Today was the day. Her first day at the BAU. A mix of excitement and nerves bubbled within her, but there was something else too—a hint of mortification. She couldn't shake the memory of calling her new boss and coworker hot within earshot. She hoped against hope that they hadn't overheard.

With a deep breath she rose and made her way to the mirror. She took pride in her appearance, and today was no exception. She chose her outfit with care, professional yet undeniably her.

As she applied her makeup, each brush was an attempt to paint away the embarrassment of last night. She styled her hair, letting it fall into soft waves around her shoulders. We one last glance in the mirror, she was ready.

Evelyn grabbed her gun and badge, the weight of them both a reminder of the responsibility she was about to undertake. She was a member of the FBI now, and she had a role to play.

—

Evelyn's heels clicked against the polished floors of the FBI building, a steady rhythm that matched her racing heart. She drew a deep breath, letting her bubbly personality shine through her nervous smile as she passed through the security checkpoint. She didn't spot Hotch or Dr. Reid, a small mercy that allowed her to collect herself without the weight of their gazes.

The first day formalities were a blur—ID photos, paperwork, and the endless maze of hallways. It was all so technical and impersonal, yet it was the gateway to her dream.

Then, a beacon of light, she spotted Penelope Garcia. They had connected over an online forum for crime fiction enthusiasts, bonding over plot theories and character developments. Garcia's vibrant attire and smile were just as welcoming in person.

"Penelope!" Evelyn greeted, her voice a mix of relief and excitement.

"Evelyn! Honey, you're even more stunning in person!" Garcia beamed, pulling her into a hug. "Welcome to the BAU family!"

As they chatted, Garcia led her to the bullpen, where Evelyn was introduced to the team. Emily Prentiss's firm handshake and measured smile spoke of strength and understanding. JJ's friendly nod and Derek Morgan's charming grin were disarming, making Evelyn's nerves ease slightly.

"So you're the prodigy Gideon was always bragging about," Morgan teased, his eyes twinkling with mirth.

Evelyn laughed, the sound light and genuine. "I hope to live up to at least half the hype," she replied, her tone playful yet sincere.

Prentiss leaned in, her voice low but encouraging. "We've all heard great things about you, Evelyn. We're glad to have you on board."

"And we'll make sure you find your footing," JJ added, her smile reassuring.

The warmth of the welcome eased the knots in her stomach. She was a part of the team, surrounded by legends, and yet, they made her feel like she was one of them—bright, capable.

"Gideon."

The newfound calm in Evelyn's stomach vanished as swiftly as it had arrived when she heard her last name echo across the bullpen. The authoritative tone of Aaron Hotchner snapped the easy atmosphere like a taut wire. She turned, her heart hitching as she met his gaze. For a fleeting moment, she saw the mask of his composure slip, a flicker of surprise that quickly schooled into neutrality. "A word, please?"

Derek couldn't resist the opportunity for a quip. "Don't keep the man waiting, he's not known for his patience," he said, eliciting a round of chuckles from the team.

Evelyn's heart pounded as she approached Hotchner's office, her mind racing with a thousand thoughts seeming to rest on one—he was going to confront me about what I said. She stepped inside, the door closing behind her with a soft click.

Hotchner's office was a stark contrast to the lively bullpen, its walls lined with commendations and case files. He gestured to a chair.

"Good morning, Evelyn," Hotchner began as he motioned her into his office. "Please, have a seat."

She moved past him, her senses heightened, astutely aware of the shift in his demeanor. As she settled into the chair, she caught him glancing at a file on his desk, his eyes momentarily distracted.

"I didn't expect you to be so..." he started, his gaze lifting to meet hers.

"Young?" Evelyn filled in, her voice a mix of confidence and self-deprecation, butterflies filling her stomach. "I get that a lot, but I assure you it won't affect my performance, sir."

In his mind, Hotchner corrected himself, Attractive, but he let the thought pass unspoken of course, cursing himself for even thinking it. "Of course," he said aloud. "Your age isn't a concern. Your qualifications speak for themselves."

He leaned back, interlacing his fingers as he regarded her. "As a new member of the BAU you'll be expected to undergo a period of observation. You'll accompany the team on cases, but your involvement will be limited until you've completed your training."

Evelyn nodded, absorbing every word.

"You'll be assigned a mentor," Hotch continued. "Dr. Reid will take on that role. He'll guide you through our protocols and procedures."

"I'm ready to learn and contribute, sir." Evelyn responded earnestly.

He had been called "sir" by many, but when the word left Evelyn's lips, it was as if he heard it for the first time. He caught himself staring at the lips at which the words came from, snapping his focus back to her eyes.

Hotchner's expression softened ever so slightly. "I believe you are. And remember, this team is a family. We rely on each other's strengths to face what most can't even imagine."

With a final nod, he stood, signaling the end of the meeting. "Welcome to the BAU, Agent."

next

Rebel Yell

“You’re not a rebel, Billy Hargrove, you’re a fucking psychopath.”

Let’s get something straight: he does not love you. He knows that for sure, because he doesn’t want to scream at you and he doesn’t want to get married, and that’s the only things he knows for sure about people who are in love. And he was doomed to kiss with his fists and scream and be angry and blame everyone but himself for the rest of his life. So, no. Billy did not love you. 

Billy Hargrove x Hopper!Reader

Tag List Open

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

The Ultimate Facts 

*also attracts smart blondes that have no idea how they fell for this idiot