Can People Use Birds To Predict The Future

can people use birds to predict the future

I know in my heart of hearts that you mean well by asking, and there is no ill intent to this question buuuuuuuuut… that question is incredibly ignorant of long-standing social dynamics and sociological apologetics which sweep incredible sins against birds (and other animals; we may focus on one injustice but we must never forget all) under the rug.For many, many years humans have exploited various birds for their powers of prophecy. Nowadays humans tend to use non-violent approaches to harness bird’s sight into times yet untold (simple observation, tracking stock purchases, recording migration patterns) but there remain people who trust in The Old Ways and very little is done to stop them.

Have you ever heard the story of the Goose which laid golden eggs? It is of course mythology, but as with all myths there remains a seed of truth. In reality, an innkeeper once befriended a Grouse; in return for food and shelter, the bird prognosticated on weather patterns and travelling parties so the innkeeper could lay in adequate food supplies while minimizing spoilage.

This arrangement continued for several years, though every year the Grouse would make some very pointed comments about how it really should attend the migration. Every year the innkeeper would convince the Grouse to stay at the inn a bit longer, offering higher quality feed and roomier nesting areas. Every year the Grouse accepted the innkeeper’s offer, and many of his best years were spent helping enrich somebody else in exchange for moderate comfort.

I’m going to pause here and put the last part behind a jump as it is a very unhappy ending that people don’t need on their dash.

One day the bird decided that it had lived at the inn long enough, and undertook to leave. Enraged by this decision, the innkeeper attacked the Grouse with a knife and split it open from breast to tail. In it’s final panicked moments of life, the poor bird’s entrails spilled out and arranged themselves into one last prophecy.Realizing how much easier it was to simply kill the bird than care for it, the innkeeper spent what little money would have gone to feed and house birds instead on their capture and wholesale slaughter, solely for his own gain. Seeing his success, others followed suit and thus Haruspicy was born. The practice of murdering birds to read the future continues to this day and THAT is why the question which started this post angers me with it’s ignorance. Yes, humans DO use birds to predict the future, and do so while refusing to acknowledge the incredible violence done by their predecessors and contemporaries.

Modern notions of beauty have led to an unprecedented surge in the number of birds undergoing breast augmentation surgery.

Described as ‘Uber for West Coast Marsh and Grassland inhabitants’ by a Forbes.com listicle, White-tailed Kites can be called upon most hours of the day to ferry around voles, mice, rabbits, and even occasionally snakes and smaller birds. A rigorous background screening process means fares can rest easy as only 15% of rides end in gruesome murder, which cannot be said of their human counterpart.

Looks like a Towhee to me but without an audio recording I can’t tell for certain which kind. Was it screaming? Eastern Towhees can be easily spotted by the long, piercing scream that never ends, facilitated by a very unusual evolutionary quirk. See, the avian voicebox is split (think reverse bagpipes) which allows multiple simultaneous sounds. Eastern Towhees are also able to inflate their lungs independently, allowing one to fill while the other is going AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!! I hope this helps!

I need to know the name of this Washington bird please also I drew it to size of my hand thanks

Closed for Lent

The Academy of Bird Sciences will be reopening on 28 March 2016 after celebrating the hatching of our lord and saviour the Eastern Kingback Phoenix. This formerly widespread bird has never been photographed and is officially extinct, but ancient prophecy handed down through millenia tells of the day it shall rise once more to usher in a new era of peace and prosperity for all birds, flighted and flightless alike. If you’re curious as to what Lent has to do with it, Eastern Kingback Phoenix eggs have an incubation period of six weeks give or take a couple of days. They are laid sometime between February and early March and since they nearly unerringly hatch on what would later be called Easter Sunday the first council of Nicaea decreed their ‘lay date’ to be the start of Lent. So, I’m packing my bags and scouring all of the traditional nesting places of Eastern Kingback Phoenixes in the hopes that I get to be the lucky ornitholobiolographer who gets to record the first documented hatching in over fifteen hundred years. It’s gonna be difficult though as they usually nested near colonies of Party Chickens which are nearly extinct in the wild thanks to consumerist greed for basket fill, so I’m going to have my searching cut out for me!

The Loggerhead Shrike brutally silences political dissidents by means of public impalement before dismembering and ultimately consuming those who would dare attempt to change the status quo. Above, a grasshopper’s head and spine are removed from its freshly-impaled body for suggesting perhaps there should be fewer impalements.