Contrary To Popular Belief, The Kiwifruit Bird Is Not Named After The Kiwifruitbirdfruit. Both The Small,

Contrary to popular belief, the Kiwifruit Bird is not named after the Kiwifruitbirdfruit. Both the small, round, flightless fruit and the bird it resembles are named after Elrod Kiwifruit, one of the first White explorers of New Zealand. Like Elrod, these fat birds are nearsighted and xenophobic, with a tendency to claim for themselves the property of others through sheer disbelief that other cultures may have equal value and precedent claims.

Barn Swallow nestlings have a dual-vocal structure much like adult Grebes. This doubling of sound production allows the baby birds to stun interloping predators and help parent Swallows find the nest again in time for feeding. Unlike grebes however, the laryngeal portion diminishes as they become fledglings, ultimately disappearing shortly after striking out on their own.

Able to cover the mind-boggling distance of thirty-two thousand meters in the span of an hour, Greater Roadrunners are one of the fleetest-footed birds in southwestern North America. This nigh-physically-impossible speed is not without consequences however as the buffeting winds wick excess moisture from the eyes, eroding a channel into the feathers along the side of the head. Efforts to prevent this disfigurement by donating miniature aviation goggles to these speed demons are currently stymied by a lack of funding.

Once a bafflement to the finest minds at The Academy of Bird Sciences, the remarkable mystery surrounding the diurnal behaviour of Burrowing Owls has finally been solved with an unexpected twist: they are completely blind and they are not diurnal. What were once hypothesized to be protective ‘hatless brim’ feathers are actually specially shaped to channel forward-facing sound into their ear holes, allowing effective around the clock hunting. The belief they were diurnal was easily debunked upon realising every ornithographer contracted by TABS to study these birds would retire to bed at a reasonable hour.

Shifting their natural camouflage from season to season, Rock Ptarmigans are native to the subarctic region and can blend with their rocky surrounds almost perfectly. Unfortunately these clever disguiseurs can never resist adding fantastic eyeshadow to their ensembles, leading to intense predation by foxes and particularly ambitious Least Weasels. To date, efforts to provide makeup in more neutral tones have been met with disinterest.

Prone to displays of balletic elegance, Grand Blue Herons outshine their merely Great cousins with ease. With graceful footwork and perfectly-coiffed plumage, these artful dancers will eagerly perform complexly choreographed routines with but a moment’s notice. Above, a Grand Blue Heron revels on a patio to the delight of a garden party out-of-frame.