The Art Of Almost

The Art of Almost

The following morning, my eyes fluttered open as I awoke. Once I took in my surroundings, I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, stretched my unmoved limbs, and felt drowsiness seep into my bones. It took far too long for me to realize that I had slept past my alarm.

I glanced down at my phone. It was 11:15 a.m. Only 45 minutes remained until my shift began, and the subway commute, alone, took half an hour.

I leapt up, stumbling over to my cramped bathroom. In the mirror, a strange face reflected at me: uneven blond bangs, dark bags under her eyes, and a frown plastered on her face. The one staring at me was beautiful, there was no doubt, but how long would that last? I contemplated for many moments before coming back to reality. I needed to get to work.

In a couple of minutes, I threw myself out of the door, almost breaking my ankle from running down the stairs. Once I arrived at the station, I was heaving. I called my boss and had undergone a lecture, so all I had to do was show up. It was the last thing I ever wanted to spend my time doing. It was no intention of mine to be working a dead-end job in a dead-end neighborhood, living in a dead-end apartment. Something like this was a last-ditch effort for someone like me.

With every second that passed, my feelings of dread grew. My job wasn’t bad per se, but I despised it with every fiber of my being. It was better than living as a non-contributor to society. At least, that’s what I told myself. Doing something was better than not. Complaining over things I cannot change will only cause me to be more miserable, too. I should stop that.

Word count: 305

(Author's Note: This chick is kind of pissing me off, even though I'm the one who wrote her. What does that say about me?)

Glossed Over Eyes & Flat-lined Lips

Today was the same as yesterday, and the day before and the day before, every day since I moved to this city has been the same.

“That’ll be 30.42,” the cashier’s voice echoed around me. I dug into my purse, tugging out my raggedy patent leather wallet. It was nearly disintegrated, but it worked, I guess. I handed the droopy-eyed teenager, standing behind the register, a couple of bills. Once I received my change, I was on my way, groceries in tow. The bags pulled my arms down, but I didn’t mind, I guess. I felt comforted knowing that something was keeping me anchored down to Earth.

The commute on the subway back to my apartment was noisy and long. I fought back the insatiable urge to claw my face off.

As I walked up the steps to my apartment building, I looked out onto the horizon. It was a wonderful day. A gentle breeze, birds chirping, and the sun high in the sky. I breathed it in for a moment. Days like these were one of the only things I had nowadays.

Fiddling the keys out of my pocket, I unlocked my door. A depressing sight welcomed me. Compared to the weather, my apartment was pathetic, at best. Dust and grime and stupid, old furniture left by the previous tenant. It was everything I hated. Even the air smelled musty. Disgusting. How could someone like me live in a place like this? I’ve fallen so far from my lofty throne.

All I could do was sleep. I threw my item-filled plastic bags down on the counter and fell over onto the couch. Bits of dust soared up into the air and then back down. I do this often nowadays. It was one of my only sources of comfort. I felt my eyes going blurry, my mind going blank, and my body sinking into the sofa. I felt encapsulated by the warmth of my little bubble.

In my dreams, I could be anything. I didn’t have to be the failure I was, living in a glorified cardboard box, working a part-time job I hated while studying a major I couldn’t care less about. Sleeping was best for me now. It was the only time I could get a break from everything. The noisy transit, the bright-eyed tourists, everything—all of it, all at once, all gone.

Word count: 391

(Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this little dollop of my writing. I'll try to post a continuation tomorrow!)

In The Quiet

I didn’t realize I had walked away from the lecture until I was in a bustling hallway, people packed together like sardines. Groups lined the walls, chattering loudly. Spit flew out of their mouths as they spoke. I saw couples giggling and stumbling into empty rooms and corridors, unable to keep their hands off each other.

It was disgusting, witnessing the carefree nature of college students. I doubted they even knew what life might be like outside their social circles. Bile came up and burned my throat, the need to get away blooming in my stomach. I wished to isolate myself from all of them. The noise, the bright lights, everything.

I allowed my feet to guide me. With every brisk stride, I sensed myself relaxing into my body again. I continued to walk with my head in the clouds, and somehow, I ended up in an abandoned part of the university. A darkened hallway with cobwebs spanning the walls and a buzzing overhead light welcomed me. It was quiet. It was nice, exactly what I needed. Although, I wasn’t sure how I found myself here. Fate may have been pulling me towards something or someone.

Scanning my surroundings, I entered the closest room to my left. The door opened with a creak, and I peered in. Only a table and two chairs sat neatly in the center of the floor. A smile crept onto my face. The universe had made this room just for me, no one else. That empty room would be my nook, hidden away from the world, far from the loudness and the sadness in between.

For the next couple of weeks, I spent my time sitting in that damp, low-lit room. Every assignment was completed to the maximum of my abilities, and with every stroke of my pen and every flip of my paper, I was all right. I felt complete. My dreams were no longer possible, and it would be okay. My job was never that bad. I must’ve been overreacting. Liana wasn’t too different from me, and that was obvious now.

Life passed me by in a daze, but all was well this time. Anger didn’t seep from my pores anymore as long as I could stay in that room forever.

It was midday; the sun crouched behind the clouds, but I could still hear birds tweeting. A beautiful day with a sky of gray and blue. I strolled into the abandoned wing of the school, no thoughts entering my head. Stumbling, I tripped into the room. It was the same as always, one table and two chairs. I sat in my seat, pulled out countless assignments, and worked.

A cool breeze blew past me, ruffling my hair. That had never happened before. The air was always still and stale. I whipped my head over. A fixed gaze looked upon me. It was that of a pale and ghostly-looking boy. He stared at me, interest piquing in his face, and with that, my eyes opened.

Word Count: 502

(Author's Notes: Did you expect a ghost to be the love interest? (I doubt it!!!!) Anyway, make sure to read the other chapters in order to fully understand this one. Thank you!!)

Ignorance is Bliss

Bright hazel eyes peered into mine, and it seemed like the boy was looking past me into my soul. I froze in my place. I could see the wall through him. Moisture built up on my palms, causing them to get clammy. Beads of sweat formed on my forehead. I had to have been going crazy. He wasn’t real because ghosts aren’t real. I must’ve not been getting enough sleep at night. My mind must’ve been playing tricks on me, and I was hallucinating everything. That was the only logical explanation.

Slowly, I resumed my work. If I ignored it, it would go away. I forced my gaze back down on a paper and wrote, my hand shaking with each movement. Every couple of seconds, I would sneak a glance his way. He was unwavering, still in the same spot with the same face. My throat tightened. My heart was beating out of my chest, and there was a loud thumping in my ears. It was getting difficult to overlook him.

“You can’t ignore me forever,” he spoke, sounding annoyed.

I froze again, this time at the sound of his voice. It was soft, almost gentle sounding, but a shiver traveled down my spine. My head turned to him instantly, as if I was being controlled. The boy was ethereal. Seeing him hurt my eyes because of how brightly he shone compared to me. He was beautiful, with a clear complexion and dark hair framing his face.

“I’m not ignoring you,” I began. “Just busy with work, you know. I don’t know what you did back in your day, but we work now…” My hands shook uncontrollably, and I was struggling to keep my cool. By that point, I think my brain was numb from shock. Maybe I was losing it. I was rambling on and on to a ghost, and I don’t think he liked it too much. His face twisted into one of disgust and disdain as I continued. “Be quiet, you’re so annoying,” the boy interjected, “But don’t worry too much, you’ll learn to listen. That’s the way it always goes.” I nodded and closed my mouth. My breath caught in my throat. His voice commanded my attention, and I was powerless to resist.

Sitting in my chair, silence filled the room. Goosebumps prickled my skin. His presence caused the room to feel colder than it should have been. The air was thick and difficult to breathe in, a slightly sweet scent lingering around him. He remained silent, and so did I, prompting me to stand up and leave. He didn’t stop me. Back at my apartment, I could sleep and forget he existed. It would be easy. That’s why I remained so levelheaded. The simple way out would be to forget and ignore the problem, not try to face it head-on. That would only cause more issues for me, and I don’t need more stress.

When I arrived back at my rickety shack of an apartment, I swung open the door, and the stale air from inside the room punched me in the nose. I had never been so thrilled to be back. My insanity was causing me to be happy about my living situation. What was next? Would I start enjoying my job? My shoes came off, and I threw my bag on the floor. I walked into my bedroom, the floorboards creaking with every step, and fell on the bed. As soon as my body hit the mattress, I was out.

I was back in my dreams. I could almost forget the ghost boy and his awful attitude until I felt his presence near me. The coldness around him, the spitefulness he exuded. I was asleep, yet I couldn’t escape him even then. I wasn’t safe from him in my dreams, my unconscious sanctuary. My eyes squeezed shut, tighter. He caused me only to remember what I was, barely above the poverty line and a hair away from being put in a psych ward. I exhaled, sinking deeper into my sleep. The chill was still there, but I could worry about that tomorrow.

Word Count: 689

(Author's Note: I always think the most recent chapter is the best one so far, but this one was actually the most fire one. If you enjoyed it, make sure to read the other chapters and leave a little like or comment! Also, if you have any questions, be sure to leave them in the ask box thingy!! :D )

i love when i write an outline and then completely disgard it to do something entirely different!

about me !!

hey there ;)

i'm marion, and i post about writing-related things because this is literally a writing blog (?? big shocker, i know).

i'm 14.

hobbies: musical theater, listening to music, writing, sewing, fashion-related anything, reading, cleaning, and drawing.

favorite books: jane eyre, the virgin suicides, & the perks of being a wallflower

favorite artists: beabadoobee, laufey, faye webster, clairo, chappell roan, wave to earth, riize, newjeans, kiss of life, twice, txt, just to name a few ...

i'd love if you asked me questions, i'll answer literally anything writing related! also feel free to send me your writing, i'd be honored to read it.

there's not much else i have to say. i'm an intj. i really like shoujo anime/mangas and webcomics (I'M AWARE OF MY LOSER STATUS, SHUT UP PLSSS). i write a lot of sad stuff because it's fun idk.