Its My Birthday! To Celebrate My 32nd Solar Return, I Thought Id Share A Little Bit About Myself!

It’s my birthday! To celebrate my 32nd solar return, I thought I’d share a little bit about myself!

Regardless if you keep reading, I wanted to thank everyone who has supported this blog so far by liking and sharing my posts! Y’all have helped make my return to Tumblr truly special and I hope I can continue to share content that inspires others to embrace a softer side of magical work. ☆

I’m Lachan (they/them), a visual artist, ritualist, and real-life non-binary magical girl! After being a city kid for a little over a decade, I’m now living in the country with my partner, our two cats, and some fish! We have a lot of work to do on our old house but she’s already come leaps and bounds since we moved in last summer.

Among my various interests, I enjoy shōjo manga and other cutesy/kitschy things and certainly take inspiration from mahō shōjo works in my personal magia. While I use ‘kid’ freely to describe myself, I am not an age regressor; I have no delusions regarding my age and I fully, wholeheartedly accept my adulthood but at the same time I have an ageless view of myself. Whether this is a product of memories of a life before birth or approaching life with a ‘beginner’s mind’ (or something else entirely), I find it prudent to mention as to not give anyone the wrong impression.

Unlike a lot of practitioners I have recently met in the magical hero community, I’m not a fictionkin or a reality shifter. I have characters that I definitely relate to and I have had life experiences that bear striking resemblance to their stories but as the Dimension Witch from xxxHOLiC says, “There is no such thing as coincidence. There is only hituzen.” I cannot confirm or deny the possibility that there are other realities—the only thing I do know is my own experience.

Kero-chan wished me a Happy Birthday today! ☆

Engaging the Doppel as Shadow Work

The work I am presenting here is not a replacement for therapeutic practices administered or recommended by a professional. If you do not have any previous experience with Shadow Work, I urge you to have a conversation with a professional, such as a therapist, or a trusted and seasoned practitioner and decide whether or not it would be most beneficial to do this work on your own. I would also strongly advise any magical hero to have a strong foundation in grounding and shielding practices before engaging in any Shadow Work.

In the mobile game Puella Magi Madoka Magia Side Story: Magia Record we are introduced to the concept of the Doppel. According to the official Magia Record website, "Magical Girls in Kamihama City can summon a power known as a Doppel. Only awakened Magical Girls have this ability, which allows them to invoke a portion of the Witch power in their Soul Gem when it becomes fully tainted."

In the Puella Magi Madoka Magia universe, a magical girl typically becomes a Witch when their Soul Gem turns completely black from developing too many impurities. When they use their magic, experience strong negative emotions, or sustain physical injuries, the magical girl’s Soul Gem gathers impurities and becomes progressively darker. Generally, the way to rid a Soul Gem of its darkness is to extract it with a Grief Seed or Grief Cube but inside of Kamihama City, however, the ‘Doppel’ power can be invoked instead.

If a Doppel is summoned, a subconscious confrontation occurs between the magical girl and their Witch self, in which the Witch attempts to convince the girl to give in to their inner darkness and relinquish control. Usually, the Doppel user will reject their inner darkness and the Doppel will be semi-autonomous; but by fully accepting their flaws and achieving a catharsis, a fusion referred to as a Doppel Version can be achieved in which the user is fully in control of their Doppel powers.

Doppels are extremely powerful, making them useful in battle, but come at high risk to its user. This transformation is only possible because of the trauma a magical girl is forced to endure, whether as a consequence of their wish to an Incubator or by merely existing. Most of the time, we need to suppress our traumas and anxieties just to get through the day but the Doppel System is a stark reminder that we can become over-encumbered at any moment. (Not to mention that in its semi-autonomous state, the Doppel will thrash about and attack without abandon, potentially causing serious harm to its magical girl and those around them.)

So, as magicians and magical heroes, how can we utilize the Doppel System in a healthy and constructive way? How can we harness the power of meeting our inner darkness and bringing it out for good? The most obvious, and arguably most difficult, method I can think of is engaging in Shadow Work.

The goal of Shadow Work is to bring suppressed personality parts back into our consciousness and learn to accept and even love them. This is easier said than done, as Shadow Work forces us to confront parts of ourselves that we rather not know about and then actually take responsibility for that which we judge in ourselves and others. Like the Doppel System, Shadow Work asserts that the solution lies not in the permanent avoidance of our darkened soul parts, but in their full acceptance and approval.

Shadow Work a process of acknowledging the ‘ugly’ parts of ourselves and learning to love them despite our judgements or fear of them. Our shadow parts can look like many things in our conscious lives including:

Jealousy

Addiction

Depression

Anxiety

Codependency

Self-sabotage

Excuses

Lies

Procrastination

Resentment

Passive-aggressiveness

Bitterness

Aggression or Anger

Violence

Victimization 

Guilt and shame

Lack of confidence

Issues establishing or maintaining boundaries

Shadow Work is also trauma work; many shadows are created as a result of developmental or attachment trauma when we were children and didn’t have the resources to deal with our emotions fully and so are stored in our bodies and in the stories we tell ourselves. Your shadow can control your life and will keep presenting you with uncomfortable opportunities to integrate it, as Witches and the Doppel System threaten to do.

As our shadows form and present themselves in different ways, there is no set approach for dealing with them. Shadow Work can be practiced by:

Self-observation and mindfulness Practice being present and conscious of your reactions. Identify your triggers; when your reaction to an event or someone’s behavior is out of proportion it is usually rooted in your past and in your shadow.

Practicing emotional inquiry Develop a sense of curiosity for your inner emotional world and view your emotions as information.

Journalling Start with a prompt that forces you to identify parts of your shadow or go with a stream of consciousness.

Analyzing your favorite stories Make a list of your favorite media and jot down their rough storyline. Think about the characteristics of your heroes and how they might relate to you, your unfulfilled potential, or secret desires. This is an intuitive way to explore your shadows by looking for symbols and archetypes in the stories you resonate with most.

Sitting with your shadow in meditation Learn to sit with yourself in silence. Just being able to be with yourself, your thoughts, and your feelings is a powerful way to get in touch with your shadow parts and sit with your emotions.

Inner-child work Since most of our shadows are created during childhood development, there is a lot of potential here for healing and integration. There are many guided meditations out there that can help get you started on this particular journey.

Seeking therapy and/or coaching

By working in these ways, we can essentially tap into the Doppel System and achieve untapped magical potential by integrating and purifying our shadows.

This post is part of my Magi Praxis series. If you have any suggestions for future topics, or you have attempted anything I have shared and want you share your experiences, please send me a message! I am always happy to go back and provide further explanation as well. ☆

What is a Witch’s Kiss?

In Puella Magi Madoka Magica and related works, a Witch's Kiss is a marking, the personal symbol or calling card of a Witch, used by a Witch and its Familiars (or Minions) to control the minds of humans and to mark their Labyrinth. These markings can be used to exacerbate pre-existing negative emotions and thoughts, change personalities, make people commit crimes or self-harm, or lure them into a Labyrinth to be consumed by the Witch inside. Some of these actions may not necessarily lead humans to being consumed: some Witches may merely desire to spread evil and misfortune regardless if they get sustenance. Furthermore, a ‘kissed’ human may not always die from it. Familiars can also kiss humans well outside of the Labyrinth they hail from in order to bring them to their Witch.

Note: In the magical hero community, I’ve heard these markings referred to as ‘sigils’ as well, but I hesitate to use that terminology for this case because I think it can cause unnecessary confusion for practitioners who regularly use sigils in their own magia. I can acknowledge that a Witch utilizes their Kiss as a sigil for their own gain, however.

If a puella magi or other magical hero is in possession of a Witch’s Kiss, it generally means that they came across it somehow in their day-to-day or astral travels and took note of its components for later exploration into the corresponding Labyrinth. The Kiss can contain visual elements that reveal attributes of the Witch including her appearance, nature, or even aspects of her Labyrinth or Familiars; this information is extremely helpful for any magical hero who is preparing to engage in magical combat with a Witch. The Kiss itself can also be used as a portal into its owner’s Labyrinth.

As a chaos magick practitioner as well, I assert that one can also reverse engineer a Witch’s Kiss for their own spellcraft. Is there something that you want to combat magically? Sigilize components of whatever you want vanquish and create a Kiss. This, in turn, can help conceptualize the trouble you are facing into a Witch and thus easier to focus energy towards defeating.

If you need a template for understanding or documenting a Witch, whether found or created, I recommend this format that was used for many of the Witch Cards that were displayed on the original Japanese website for the Puella Magi Madoka Magica anime:

[NAME], the [DESCRIPTOR, NOUN] Witch with a [DESCRIPTOR, ADJECTIVE] nature. The Witch is mainly colored [COLOR], is [DESCRIPTOR, SIZE], and resembles a/n [NOUN]. This Witch is [DESCRIPTOR, STRENGTH] and her weapon is [NOUN]. Her Labyrinth resembles [NOUN/DESCRIPTION] and her Familiars are named [NAME].

You can also add any additional information that helps you further visualize the Witch and its influence.

This post is part of my Magi Praxis series. If you have any suggestions for future topics, or you have attempted anything I have shared and want you share your experiences, please send me a message! I am always happy to go back and provide further explanation as well. ☆