We're A Couple Of Hours Out From Episode 11 Of La Pluie, And It Has Me Spinning My Wheels As Usual.

We're a couple of hours out from episode 11 of La Pluie, and it has me spinning my wheels as usual.

Lots of thoughts and questions churning away, but the one that is uppermost in my mind is Lomfon's question to Tien about choosing between the person one likes and one's soulmate.

I think most of us read this as Lomfon recognizing that he has some feelings for Tien but now believing Tai is his soulmate and wanting advice about what he (Lomfon) should do.

However, later on, this person (YES, I wanted to say something explicit here, but I think Patts and the Fandom have given him his licks already, so I won't pile on) ... so this person has the nerve to act like he has no idea why Tien would be upset or how this free-for-all Lomfon instigated was any of Tien's business ... and it keeps bothering me. It bothers me for many, many, many reasons, but mainly because it seems so disconnected from the earlier scene.

And so now I'm wondering, "Who is Lomfon in that scenario?" The person choosing between a soulmate and the person he likes? Or is he just one of the options? Is Lomfon actually referring to Tai choosing between the person he likes (Patts) and his impending soulmate (Lomfon)? And is Lomfon turning to the one person he knows who is close to Tai for advice to get a sense of what Tai might do?

Anyway, as miserable as it all played out in the end, the idea that Tien may never have even been a part of the equation for Lomfon has me in my feelings.

"Something about dressing a person up feels more intimate than dressing them down."

Step By Step Through the Closet Door

First of all, I want to apologize for not breaking this with images and gifs. There's no excuse 🫣

Now, I've read all the excellent commentary coming out of ep 11. I believe it's all valid and there are points to be made all around. I don't have the knowledge or experience to comment on pacing, editing, and certain directorial choices. But I do want to say something in favor of the story the show is telling.

This is a different story than we're used to, and it's told in a different way. It takes some getting used to, but where I'm from this type of storytelling is used a lot. This is showing things the way they are to the point of annoyance. I think that what causes all the confusion and frustration is the fact that the show lets each character exist separately from one another. There is no cohesiveness because life has no cohesiveness. The characters act and react according to their own separate sets of rules as opposed to each other. I know that some will see it as bad storytelling, and it's no excuse, but imo it has its benefits when trying to tell a story about people.

MY CASE FOR JENG and Pat

Jeng has been consistent throughout. Everything he does is because his entire being is linked to the company. He never makes mistakes. He always puts the business first. His entire philosophy of "life and work should be combined" is his reality. He has no freedom. He's had to hide who he is as a person, not only his sexuality because he always needs to represent.

As for the money, it's not the first time he did it. We're told in the beginning that he's been keeping the department alive with his own money. The only thing in his dad's company that is actually his is that department, and fighting to keep it is fighting to keep his sense of self. That department became his identity, so he will do anything to keep it alive. This is about Jeng v. his father. This is about Jeng becoming his own person.

So how does Pat fit into all of this? Well, Jeng being 100% business 100% of the time, he sees Pat's talent and he finds it super attractive. Sure, he finds Pat cute and attractive when they first meet, but his interest in him grows when he sees his talent and potential.

In his mind, Pat is a driving force through this. He finds Pat and he feels that he finally has an ally. However, this has nothing to do with who Pat is. This is the idea of Pat, not Pat himself. He does with Pat what he does with work - he makes him part of his identity and links him to the department. So Pat is no longer a separate human being, but another aspect of Jeng. Pat becomes the part of Jeng's personality that fights to keep the department alive. Which makes him the logical choice to be his successor as the head of department. Losing one of them (department or Pat) means losing his identity as a man separate from his father and the company.

As for Pat, he has his own shit to deal with. He needs to work in a toxic work environment and face gossip that is typically reserved for women, who are usually the target of this kind of gossip precisely because of their sexuality. Pat needs to end things with Jeng because he can't deal with it. Love is not magic. Love can't fix society. Outside pressure can and does break relationships when the people in that relationship are unable to stand together.

Pat and Jeng cannot stand together at this point in their story because they exist in two separate worlds. Their realities and the way they experience life are so different and separate from what the other is experience, to say the least.

THE QUEER REALITY OF IT ALL

That intervention/interrogation scene was way too personal. Even if you've never been interrogated about your sexuality, or had to defend it, just sitting in a room where people talk about your sexuality as if you're not there is not a fun experience, to say the least.

Having to justify yourself all the time to everyone because of who you like. Having to sit in a room where YOU are being scrutinized for your entire being just because of your sexuality is something that queer people experience all the time. Straight people will have lengthy discussions about others' sexuality in a way that I haven’t experienced in queer spaces. They will expect us to live up to tropes and stereotypes, and if we don't, they will be disappointed because it's not what they were promised (I'm sorry, but this is hitting very close to home). This is the reality of being different in a way that most society can't understand. If there is something to say in favor of this show is that these moments are represented so accurately that it's sometimes painful to watch.

STEPPING OUT OF THE CLOSET

This is a story about closets more than anything. Not only in the queer sense, but anyone who needs to hide who they are for "the greater good" knows what it's like. When you need to hide parts of yourself, for any reason, it's easy to lose touch with who you really are.

Being outed for the benefit of others OR How straight people talk about other sexualities.

We can all agree that Pat is not in the closet. But throughout the show, he goes through the experience of being outed three times - first when he has no choice but to out himself because of toxic male co-worker. The second time, his relationship with Jeng is outed for political gain. Then, a much more public outing of his relationship with Put. So, we're starting with a one-on-one outing, through people in the more extended environment, and finally nationwide exposure. By the end of ep 11, he has no control over who is allowed into his private affairs, and none of these outings were even about him. These were all cases of him being outed for the benefit of others. (re: straights discussing queer sexuality as though there are no queer people in the room).

Your closet is serving life

Jeng lives in the closet. Not only his sexuality is closeted, but his entire personality. He's had to maintain this public persona for so long that he has no idea who he is. His every move is dictated by his need to maintain his image for the sake of the company. He can't afford to protect Pat because he is on the job 24/7. Having Pat in his life forces him to deal with new situations. It's the first time he finds himself in a dilemma where he has to choose between the company and the person he loves, and he chooses the company because the closet is locked from the outside. The only thing that's truly his is the digital marketing department. Saving the department is saving himself. For him, it means protecting himself as well as protecting Pat. So, this is life and death for him. Even when he's called for the "intervention" with management, then with his father, and questioned about his sexuality, the only thing he can do is protect the department. Pat and the department are one because they are both his identity.

To each their own closet

Chot must keep his relationship in the closet and is at the mercy of his partner. He has no choice but to hope that one day he will be allowed to be out in his relationship. Which we were all happy to see happen!

Jaab and Jen had to hide their feelings and flirt in secret because of Jen's relationship. After that ended and they had the chance to be out, Jaab chose to run because he can't deal with actually getting what he wants (I have things to say about that as well, but it will have to be a separate post).

Beam has closeted his feelings for Ae. He chose to hide and had to watch from inside the closet, how someone else is living the life he wants for himself.

And finally Ying, who had to hide her fujoshi side.

These stories can't come together and form a complete story, because they exist separately from one another. Even Jeng and Pat exist separately from one another, each in his own story without the ability to connect, because they exist in separate worlds.

If you got this far, I seriously thank you for sticking this out. I hope this makes sense, and again this is only how I read what this show is giving us...

Step By Step - Overall Thoughts

Bear with me as I try to tackle this messy show. There's only 2 other shows I have done full length reviews for on here, so I don't know well this will come out. But I do have thoughts and this show took up 12 weeks of my life so I have to share them.

What I Liked

- Man Trisanu is such a great actor, I loved him in every single episode. In one of my earlier post I said, if I were to rank BL actors, he'd be near the top of the list, it still holds true.

He was a clear standout from this show. Despite his towering physical stature, he does such a good job at making Jeng feel small and vulnerable in his weakest moments and he's got the best whipped look on his face when he's looking at Pat, also, his micro expressions are so on point. If nothing else, introducing me to Man, will always be a point in the show's favor.

- The first half of this show is amazing. Like the first 5-6 episodes I was so on board. It had such an interesting setup, the workplace romance was working really well, despite its slow buildup, the chemistry was hitting all the right notes. I also loved how realistic the show when it comes to office politics. Not just that, it was so fascinating that instead of solely focusing on the romance aspect, the show seemed invested in Patt and Jeng's career growth, both of them were learning how to be better at their jobs, while working with each other.

- Man and Ben's chemistry works for most of this show, until it doesn't. But I think the parts where the chemistry doesn't work are also the parts with the weakest writing, so it's not really the actors fault. Overall I enjoyed watching them together, in both the cutesy and the high heat moments.

- I really enjoyed Chot. He hits all the right notes when it comes to being a good supporting character, and I love Bruce, so there's some personal bias involved here, but still overall, he got a nice arc and a cute side story. I also enjoyed Ae. When the show knew what to do with her, she had some of the funniest lines in the show.

- I enjoyed the sibling dynamic between Jaab and Jeng. Jaab's presence in the story as the openly queer second child, who has no stakes or interest in the family business, also adds more context to the pressure Jeng feels to keep up with his dad's expectations. So despite how badly the show messes up the execution of Jaab and Jen's "second couple" storyline, I enjoyed Jaab's presence in the narrative. (Yes, this makes Jaab sound less like a character and more like a plot device but I can't help it that the story doesn't know how to use this character very well, despite his potential.)

What I didn't like

- Oh boy, I am gonna try to keep it short, because I wrote quite a bit in my weekly breakdowns, for the last 3 episodes. Episode 10, Episode 11, Episode 12.

- The second half is clunky. And so many people have pointed out the problems.

I will tag some of my favorite contributors in the Step by Step tag. They've made several posts over the past few weeks breaking down the good and bad parts of this show.

@lurkingshan @bengiyo @heretherebedork @respectthepetty @waitmyturtles

I think for me, these were the 3 main issues with this show -

- The choppy editing. Most episodes of this show are longer than 70 minutes, so it really really shouldn't be difficult to make sense of the show's timeline, but by episode 9, almost no one who was watching could keep up with the timeframe of any of the events. Also, did we really need the finale to be almost 100 minutes? Nope. Most episodes of this are longer than necessary but it wouldn't be an issue if the writing supported the length a little better, it doesn't.

- The show has so many interesting ideas it wants to tackle such as Pat's and Jeng's professional growth, homophobia in the workplace, Jeng's familial struggles, Pat's struggle to feel like his professional growth is not completely dependent on or tied to Jeng, Put and Pat's relationship and eventual breakup - round 1 and 2, the influence of BL actors and BL industry as a whole. The show collapses under the weight of trying to tackle all of this, while also trying to somewhat stick to the traditional beats of a BL and tell a compelling love story. The love story here isn't bad but it's just muddled with so many other things that by the end it's difficult to really care about any of it. The show fluctuates between being a workplace drama and a BL, for most of its runtime, then finally commits to the BL aspects, then fumbles the bag on the execution, only to go back to being a workplace drama with BL elements. It's just all over the place!

- The Jaab and Jen problem. The show establishes an interesting side couple, gives them an explosive kiss in episode 5 and then just does nothing with it? Why? What? Every week for the past 4-5 weeks I have been asking the question - what's up with those two?? I am calling it out with respect to Jaab and Jen but it's present for most of its supporting characters. Look, it is rare for side characters to be given clear, full, well-written arcs in BLs but this show spends so much time in establishing these characters and their conflicts in the first half, only to then just either forget about them and write them off the narrative completely. This problem is most prominent with Jaab and Jen, but it does with almost all side characters, except for Chot.

Final Rating

3.5/5

I am so sad about this because if you asked me around episode 6, this was potentially going to end up at 4.5 for me (for reference, there's only 3 BLs I rates a full 5/5, so a 4.5 is pretty close to perfect for me.)

Current Ranking

25/40 (This is based on my ranking list of all BLs I have watched till now, interesting that this ranks just couple spots above ABAAB. It doesn't mean anything, just something I do for fun.)

Rewatch Potential

Almost none.

Favorite Moment

The office chair shopping sequence

Recommendation to a friend

Yes - but probably not as a beginner BL and with a suggestion to space this out and watch 1-2 episodes per week instead of a binge watch.

"why are you smiling?"

Dislikes remakes. ✔️

Wonders why people don't just watch the original. ✔️

Will absolutely watch GMMTV's Cherry Magic. Wishes they could wait and binge all episodes at once. Will definitely not be able to wait and is doomed to tune in week after week until the finale. ✔️

🤷🏾‍♀️

—CHERRY MAGIC 🍒 30 ยังซิง 🪄 Official Pilot