Lostindifference - Why..?

“Sometimes you have to forget what you feel, and remember what you deserve.”

— Unknown

Are teen years just supposed to be a shit show? Is my mindset supposed to change every 10 minutes? Am I supposed to go back and forth between the want to ruin my whole life and the want to build on and take care of myself? Am I supposed to feel this hostile towards my family? Am I supposed to feel like no one likes me? Is this what I should’ve expected?

It's like we all collectively forgot as a society that friendship and just connection in general takes effort. Even if you meet someone you immediately click with, it takes hanging out about 20 times (!) to become friends. And guess what, some of those 20 meetings might be awkward or unimpressive.

We all want to reap the benefits (having a friend circle, having a partner, getting married) without doing the work (going to events, interacting with people, learning to handle conflict maturely, dating). Myself included. If I could, I'd never leave the house or go on another mediocre date again... except, that's part of the process.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, the cure to the loneliness epidemic is touching some grass and building tolerance for tedious in-person interactions.

I think I’m learning to become comfortable in my loneliness, which I guess I was going to have to learn to do sooner or later. I would complain about the lack of social interaction I can say that it feels better than overextending myself to talk to the people I consider friends when they take so long to respond or don’t respond at all and then rarely take the initiative to reach out to me and with me already feeling a sense of stress that I don’t even know why I’m feeling it just wasn’t sustainable and yes it does hurt but so did being ignored and disregarded.